I'm putting this in writing now: 2020 is a wild year for a lot of us and some readers have told me that my fics have helped them through quarantine. I'm beyond grateful to be helping some of you through this because writing has certainly helped me. So to help us all out and give back to you, I'm making this promise - Emily Maria Stark and Daniel Banner's wedding will be published this year.
Not only will it be an exciting event for us because we've been waiting for it for five years since I wrote the proposal (three years since it was published and a few months since it was revamped), but I've been writing this series for eight years and they've been engaged in the story for eight years so I have to seize the opportunity. SA and other stories be damned because this is important.
Chapter 134: We're Teenagers Again
Manhattan, New York - 17:32 PM
Sigyn didn't know what she would achieve by coming here. Everything around her feels too foreign, too new. There's now a hydrangea tree on the front lawn and an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Even the Midgard clothes and car she has don't feel right. Being back on this realm and breathing this air again felt so wrong as if she doesn't deserve to be here.
It's been eight years and the world she thought she knew completely changed. She didn't know what happiness was until it was taken away from her. She's grown up because she has something to look back on and wish she could change it. She had to say goodbye to things she used to love. That's the moment she realized the world will never be as bright as she once saw it.
A knock on the window distracts her. She looks over and sees Xavier. He's not in a SHIELD uniform but in an outfit that could be a SHIELD uniform from a distance. Dark V-neck, jeans, black bomber jacket. She wasn't sure if he had a weapon on him but she can't spot the shield.
Sigyn cracks the window open about an inch. "What do you want?"
Xavier looks down at her, grinning a little. "Where'd you get the car?"
"I have magic. Did Apollo send you here?"
"Before returning to Asgard again. Why'd he go back?"
"Same reason why he disappeared. The Midgard Serpent is beneath us as we speak, slithering underneath the crevices of the ground."
Xavier's smile disappears as he leans against the driver's side of Sigyn's car. "Why didn't you just defy Apollo?"
"I was already on his bad side and then he became the one person I feared: the cousin destined to kill me. You didn't see the Apollo I did and I hope to the gods you never will."
"So it's all true?" Xavier asks. Despite hearing everything and knowing that it is, he still wants to believe that a part of him is dreaming or in a Hela-induced coma. "Are you and Apollo going to die at the hands of fate?"
A momentary silence has Sigyn's pulse pounding hard against her ribs. "Yes."
"Was it your mother?"
"No." Sigyn looks away from him and bites down on her lips. "She's dead."
Xavier wasn't sure what to say so he goes with the first words to pop in his mind. " … Sigyn, I'm so sorry."
"Why? You didn't kill her. I did."
Xavier keeps quiet, posture tensing as he straightens. He looks over and sees Sigyn leaning back in the driver's seat, rolling down her window all the way.
"After graduation, my mother was being convicted for everything she did to me and Jane and Apollo, and all of you," Sigyn explains. "Watching the convicting got my blood boiling and anger raging. I wanted to prove something to her, to get revenge. I acted on impulse and the one thing in the world that I wanted was mine - her absence. In return, I became something more powerful and dangerous, gaining more power than I ever wanted and that meant I was losing more."
Xavier nods. Nothing he could say about that revelation could change anything or make her better, but he can try.
He crouches, leaning on the window's frame. " … you know, lurking is creepy."
Sigyn laughs in a small huff. "I used to live there so I think it's okay. I thought I would die when I first walked through that door. That stupid brick house right there was my home."
She pauses, smile fading as she lets tears come. She lived in that house with a happy family and now she can't think of those days without her heart shattering even more.
"It was," Xavier replies, reaching his hand to her face, wiping tears as they fall. "You know, when you first appeared in my dream to tell me to save Apollo, this was the first place I checked."
Sigyn eyes him. "I haven't seen you in seven years. Why did you listen to me and save Apollo?"
"I figured that because I haven't seen you in seven years, whatever you said had meaning."
"I thought you would've hated me for disappearing … again."
"I would've gone if I loved or hated you."
Sigyn should've known that because they'll both work towards him responding. If he loved her, she'd be in his heart. If he hated her, she'd be on his mind. She can't leave him. Sigyn guesses she thought he or any of the others would've ignored her because Apollo became the centre of attention on Asgard. Nobody was concerned about her. They always knew Apollo was destined to kill her but that he has to do so before sacrificing himself to the apocalypse to end it. She felt that after never being asked for anything for a while, she didn't have anything worth giving.
"You don't have to worry about me," Sigyn replies. "I'm strong because I handled myself at my worst. I killed my mother and I'm fine. It's water under the bridge."
"Water that almost drowned you."
Sigyn can't argue that. She planned her death and the apocalypse earlier than what The Norns planned which, ultimately, is on Apollo's schedule that he doesn't even know. Xavier traces his finger across a scar that stretches across her collarbone. His hand trails down her arm and her eyes follow. Xavier didn't care that she didn't tell him the full story. He knows that he needs her and her touch. The fact that she thought he would hate her just made him more sure that she's the one for him.
"I'll stop worrying when this is all over," Xavier says.
His eyes flicker to hers and she puts a hand on top of his. They don't release each other. Sigyn reaches over and brushes his cheek with her thumb. His words echo in her mind and her stomach tightens with sadness.
"I wanted to tell you, I really did, but it was all happening so fast," Sigyn mutters. "I'm sorry you have to worry about me all the time."
Xavier's almost-smile fades. "I like worrying about you. It gave me something to think about during the long and boring SHIELD duties. Come with me. We'll go driving around."
-o-
Merida's Apartment - Manhattan - 17:55 PM
Merida points ahead and Blake sees the road leading up to a small set of apartments. They follow, ducking into the alleyways and climbing a set of fire escapes. It wasn't until the buildings started looking the same that Blake started questioning his choice to leave the hotel.
"Are you planning to murder me?" Blake asks, looking around the empty streets. There weren't even stray cats or pigeons around.
"Only if you keep asking questions," Merida replies.
Based on what she knows about Blake, she expected him to bother her with continuous questions but he says nothing. Merida turns around, half expecting that he was no longer there in a run for his life but he was still there, a few steps behind her on the fire escape. Blake is still holding his suitcase but looking at her with a planning grin on his face. Maybe he was about to murder her … yeah, right. She stops walking, waiting for him to catch up and he stops right beside her.
Still, he says nothing. Blake Wilde just looks at her, waiting for her to say the first word or throw the first punch.
"Are you giving me the silent treatment?" Merida asks.
Blake shakes his head. "No, I'm employing a technique I learned in journalism school. If you want someone to answer a question, you have to allow the silence to get awkward."
" … so, the silent treatment?"
"You're talking again so it's working."
Merida looks away. Dammit. She can hide her feelings so well that even she can't find them. She doesn't fall for people easily, or at all, but with Blake, she might be in trouble.
"Is there a reason we climbed up your fire escape instead of using the front door?" Blake asks. "The view is nice but I was expecting an elevator ride instead of rickety stairs."
"My dad owns the building," Merida responds, looking for her keys in her pocket.
"Must be nice."
"Lower rent is nice but the superintendent is my dad's employee and has to notify him every time I'm here, hence why we're climbing the fire escape."
"Calling your dad is a bad thing?"
"You're the bad thing."
"Oh, I get it, you don't want your dad to know you brought a bad boy home."
"You write love letter responses. You're not a bad boy." Merida finds the key and unlocks the balcony door. "Come on in," she ushers him into a room that smells like fresh laundry. "Here is my humble abode."
Blake follows Merida into her kitchen, which was easy to spot in the studio apartment's open concept. It's dimly lit with natural light and has a hint of dish soap in the air. Those are the only details Blake notices since his eyes are pinned to Merida as she moves between cabinets and the refrigerator and back again. He watches her face drop as she closes the fridge in defeat.
"I don't have any good food," Merida says, "not even a frozen pizza or goddamned ramen. Not my fault since I haven't been home in a while."
"So what you're saying is," Blake teases, "no scotch eggs."
Merida narrows her eyes. "Very funny."
"It's fine." Blake moves beside her to examine the opened cupboards. "I love stale crackers."
"I'd apologize but even if I had food, you'd be eating the stale crackers."
"I would only eat stale crackers and ramen at Chez Barton."
"That's true." Merida grins. "I only cater to fraud FBI agents and love letter responders."
"Lucky for you, I fit the bill."
They rummage through her cupboards, spilling whatever seems edible onto the counters. They assemble a meal containing protein bars, half a bottle of vodka, leftover takeout, and stale crackers.
-o-
Somewhere Along the Interstate - 22:56 PM
After getting into his car and pulling out of the old neighbourhood, Xavier didn't know where to drive and Sigyn didn't say anything. He would glance over at her every so often and she would be lying against the window without saying a word. And he didn't say a word either. Once he was losing track of where he was on the interstate, he careens out of the first exit he sees. That move gets Sigyn perking up in her seat, looking out the window and at the mirrors to see where they're heading. They roll past a gas station that connects with a plaza of in-between truck stops. He parks the car and gets out, walking around the front to Sigyn's side.
"What are you doing?" Sigyn asks as Xavier opens her door.
"I can't wait anymore," Xavier responds.
Sigyn keeps her eyes on him as she unbuckles her seatbelt. She steps out of the car and closes the door behind her. They're standing face-to-face in the sketchy parking lot while the sun's going down. The area is darker than bright with headlights shooting beams in random directions.
"Xavier?" Sigyn asks.
"I miss the you who pulled me out of my room in the middle of the night and took me on an adventure," he admits.
"I was a crazy girl who broke into your bedroom."
"I never said you were crazy. I remember the curious, risk-taking, dominating you. You're complicated and beautiful. Always have been. The imperfectly perfect you." He watches her face shift, mouth opening slightly. "I should've held your hand more instead of my phone or a football. What do you say?"
"Technically speaking, Hela broke you out of your apartment for me."
Xavier cracks a smile and brushes a loose strand of hair off her cheek. He holds her head and tilts her chin up before kissing her. The kiss starts off harder than he intended so he eases up, but she pulls him back in. Sigyn wraps her arms around his shoulders, pulling him against her and pushing herself against the car. Their next movements are automatic like machinery: he picks her up and her legs wrap around his waist, ankles interlocking behind him. Sigyn grips his shirt, trying to pull him closer to her but she's already kissing her all over her neck.
This is the explosion of held-back emotions and neither of them are holding back. She didn't answer him because the kiss was enough. She got distracted by how they have muscle memory of each other's lips. Maybe it was too soon but they need each other. At this moment, they're willing to be all that and more. Something about having their lips on each others' help to clear thought and they don't plan on stopping … not that they wanted to. She didn't think a kiss could be so urgent and she can't pull him closer to him if she tried. There was no accurate way to describe how this makes her feel, but she can try.
Sigyn gasps. "Oh my god, we're teenagers again!"
Xavier laughs a little, making the nape between her neck and shoulder vibrate. "You drive me crazy."
Sigyn starts kissing him along his jawline. When she feels his hands on the exposed skin on her waist, she tenses. When she looks at Xavier, she notices he's already looking at her.
"I'm sorry," Xavier says, easing his hold on her. "That was an accident, I just -"
"It wasn't you,' Sigyn whispers, "it's never you. It's just…"
"Get back in the car," Xavier states, putting her down and circling back around to the driver's seat. "We're going somewhere more private."
"You read my mind."
I'm still revamping What Happened in Asgard and the last chapter I did was the one where Sigyn said that she'd explode if Xavier ever kissed her again.