Barbie's I Need to Know on loop made this chapter more romantic than I intended and I love it so much more now. (I listened to the opening number from that movie and the instrumental of the song while proofreading it and it hits).

Chapter 160: Bourbon & Jaws Part Three

Shortly after he reconnected with Merida in New York, Blake called his mother. He didn't mention Merida or even the slimmest idea that he met someone or ran into anyone. He wanted to tell her about how he'll be writing an exclusive article on Emily Stark's secret wedding and how it could help him advance in his career. However, his clever mom noticed that his voice was more chipper than usual even with the exciting news, so she asked who the girl was. His pause was a dead give-away so he couldn't deny it. Blake came clean and mentioned he was seeing someone, even if the girl in question wasn't sure if they were seeing each other. Blake doesn't even know the specifics but wouldn't dare tell his mom that detail.

He wouldn't be surprised if his mom gossiped to his sisters. Every time he got a new girlfriend, his sisters would track her down and have all her information in seconds. Happened with all his exes.

But with all his sisters' boyfriends, now his brothers-in-law, his mother always asked about their profession before she got their names. Like every mother, she wanted her daughters to marry successful people. His oldest sister, Brooke, married a university economics professor. Bella married a bank manager. His first younger sister, Bridget, married a pharmacist and Bernadette just married a military pilot. Impressive men, nice guys too. Small talk is weird since he can't relate to any of their careers, but he's been in the journalism field long enough to be an expert bullshitter. Since their dad died when he was young, the now-husbands all asked for his blessing before proposing to his sisters and now he has a little army of nieces and nephews.

It wasn't any different when his mom asked him what Merida did for a living, without using her name since Blake didn't give that detail. He didn't want his mom gossiping to his sisters and have the tracking start early. Blake especially kept the SHIELD agent part to himself to avoid giving his mother a heart attack. It was a good call on his part since him following up with a redheaded New Yorker he knew for maybe a week almost gave her a stroke.

Maybe he should've kept that part to himself as well.

-o-

Dangling Above a Shark Tank, Manhattan - 14:50 PM

As her vision starts to clear despite still hanging upside down, Merida tries to understand her surroundings. She doesn't try to count how far she's dangling in the air since all the blood in her brain is already giving her a headache. There are a group of henchmen, looking up at her occasionally. The shark tank is directly under them. Her bow floats in the tank with a few stray arrows. Blake is attached behind her but something catches her eye.

There are shipment containers here as well, like the ones she saw when she walked in, but the SHIELD logo is printed on the side. The bird somehow looks the same upside down. This isn't a drug cartel. She knows what's in those crates. Drugs would've been better.

"So what did Fury talk to you about at the wedding?" Merida asks. She needs something to distract her as she tries to get all the blood out of her brain and flowing to the rest of her body. It doesn't work.

"He and your parents did a background check on me during the reception," Blake responds. "Basically they wanted to debrief."

If Merida wasn't so oddly positioned, then she would've looked at him and cocked her brow. "You're very calm about that."

"I have exes whose parents have looked me up. Yours and your pirate godfather just have better tech to use."

"Did they find anything?"

"All my uncalled absences from elementary and high school because I skipped, a few failed exams from my undergrad, my tax returns, my Masters thesis, and all the articles I've ever written for any news platform I've worked for." He laughs a little. "I bet they were looking for some DUIs or a probation report. The Macbeth tattoo on my arm had your mother staring at me as if she was trying to make my life story in her head, kind of like how you stare at anyone. Your father verbalized her thoughts which was pretty impressive if I had to say so myself. Your pirate godfather was impressed I studied in Russia. I'm still surprised to be the only boy you've ever brought to meet them because they're great."

Merida rolls her eyes despite also being enamoured with it. She's still cheesed that her stupid poncho rudely obeyed the laws of gravity. She has to hold it down (or up since she's upside down) because she still has her hands free. Now everyone knows what's underneath and she isn't talking about her boobs and navel piercing. Even Blake tries to hold her poncho up (or down) without her asking him, even if he has to bend his arms back disjointedly.

"Is SHIELD a drug cartel?" Blake asks, noticing the crates as well. "Or have a covert drug cartel?"

"Those are weapons," Merida responds.

"Not good. Arguably, drugs would've been better."

Merida bites on the corner of her mouth to hide a grin he wouldn't see anyways. She thought the same thing. "Must be stolen SHIELD weapons and tech for god knows what. Did you not see the shark?"

"I pretended not to notice."

"You're taking this well."

"This isn't a good time to panic, but I'm screaming on the inside. I imagined seeing underneath your poncho for a second and calmed down. Lucky bastards down there got a glimpse at my Sexy Grim Reaper. I don't know if I ever told you this but I'll make those my last words. Sexy Grim Reaper."

"Don't go confessing your love right now."

"I wasn't..." He pauses. "Your belly-button piercing is hot, by the way. I don't know if I ever told you that but you should know."

Merida smiles because he can't see her face. He'd comment on making her smile. "Glad to hear. My mom hates it."

"I thought this was only in the movies, the whole hanging upside down over some threat. I love a classic spy trope. At least we're not being lowered to our imminent deaths."

"Fuck me," she grumbles. If they were being lowered, it could help them get down without needing to worry about distance more so than the shark tank.

"Kinda busy right now."

Merida glances up at the pulley system holding her and Blake up. "Can you keep talking till I think of a plan? Please? Nothing related to this. You were doing well earlier."

Blake doesn't hesitate. "So your mother's last name is Romanov in Russian?" He pronounced with a perfect Russian accent. A better one than hers.

Merida didn't expect that conversation but she'll roll with it. "Yup. Why?"

"Are you a descendant of the tsars?"

Merida exhales a small laugh as she continues looking at the contraption. "Okay, I lost some arrows and my bow to the shark but maybe I can get at least the bow back. Your icer is off to the side somewhere. They likely caught it when we fell through and took it for themselves. Might as well since they seem to be harbouring SHIELD tech. The shark is down there minding its own shark business. You're holding my poncho up because you're beside me."

"And because only I can see what's under there."

"Sure. Okay, they'll definitely shoot us or maybe not since they haven't yet and there's a shark. No, we're not from the tsars, I don't think. Okay, idea."

Merida pulls out a screwdriver from her belt, happy that she bothered to bring one despite craving a different kind. An arrowhead would've done the trick should she not have the tool. Maybe even a hairpin would've worked if she wore one. Merida bends her body upwards, curving forwards towards hers and Blake's bounded feet held by the mechanics keeping them suspended above the shark. They're held up by one gear, bounded by another. Classic pulley system. Her torso burns from holding this position. The blood rushing back to her body allows her to breathe again and she's greeted with unwanted memories of all the sit-ups she did in the Academy. She could go for a different screwdriver right about now.

"Hey, Agent Mer," Blake calls once Merida starts unscrewing the pulley, "I'm no SHIELD agent but last I checked, that gizmo was keeping us up from the shark."

"Yeah, but we need to get down," Merida responds.

"...did you forget about the shark?"

"Hold on."

"I am."

Blake's grip on her waist tightens a little, still holding her poncho but balling the fabric into fists. Once the pulley pops off, the weightless feeling they felt when the floor opened returns. As they're falling straight towards the shark, Merida grabs Blake's hand again and an arrow that remained in her quiver with the other one. She forces their rope to swing as she bites off the arrowhead and tosses it to the side.

-o-

What do you mean you barely know her?

Blake didn't say that, not exactly. The conversation with his mother didn't get any better since he mentioned that he met Merida's parents at Emily Stark's wedding and Merida wasn't even brought up. His mother never treated Blake differently because she was his only son in a fatherless household of daughters. He always got the same crap his sisters did when they would meet someone. The only difference is that they didn't mention boys they've known for a week. Bridget was the only smart one since the only man she brought home became her husband but he knew she was seeing people before him.

It's not that Blake barely knows Merida. He just doesn't have a long history with Merida compared to his sisters and their husbands. They've been together for years, even before marriage. Many dates, many arguments and makeups, many late-night conversations about morals, values, and their life goals individually and together. All the little surface-level details handled. Still, Agent Mer is different.

She's a SHIELD agent. She's clever and blunt. She's scary as hell with her big boots and many piercings but she has big red curls, an enchanting and rare smile, an adventurous spirit, and a big loving heart. She's more skilled than he'll ever be. Perfect aim and stellar agent. She loves her parents and friends to death. It's like he told Merida's parents at the reception, Merida has this gaze that pierces people's souls but she isn't doing that to intimidate them, not always. She wants to know how to work the conversation, despite going with her own gut the majority of the time.

Does he know her favourite colour? Her birthday? Favourite movie? Dream vacation? No. Does she know any of his? No.

They hung out in California, day-drinking in a bar as they talked about their jobs and tattoos - all while on the clock. She ordered a Manhattan because that's her hometown. They roamed around Manhattan, eating pizza and doing some archery. She taught him how to shoot. They went to New Jersey where he saw her freaky college. He learned that she knows German, his mother tongue. They went to the Upper East Side to celebrate a wedding. She gave him her number.

He's had more fun with her in the barely a week he's known her than with anyone ever. He got to know her more through those days, or dates as he jokingly called them but meant, than if they played a stupid round of icebreakers.

The real question isn't her favourite colour. It's what does she see in him?

Mama… He always thickens his native German accent to persuade her. He knows what'll steer his mom in the right direction. She knows German and French like us.

And now, we know a little more about Blake Wilde. Continuing with the self-proclaimed "holy trinity of people too cool for my idiots," we get to know Imanu more in SA and more in his upcoming Rando Week arc, and Freya will be in the next seasons.