Moiraine, Lan, and Rand run from Siuan and the Aes Sedai. But they need Moiraine's skills to open the Waygate. Moiraine gets Saidar back.

Quote: "The stakes are too high to fail again." (Siuan)

"It should be somewhere."

Moiraine was breathless after their little run. They didn't have much time. Soon, Siuan would be after them and then every sister in the city. They had to be gone by then if they didn't want to be caught.

"There."

Although they had been separated and started to drift apart from each other for over six months, the Cairhien woman didn't doubt the Malkieri for one second. Blood and ashes! She could still not believe the man had worked together with Alanna and Verin to help Rand – to help her. How long had he planned that? It was impossible that he assumed Siuan would betray them. Or did he have doubts about the Amyrlin?

After everything she had done to him – all the harsh words, insults, and treatments – that wonderful man continued to help Moiraine like nothing had changed for him. He was still in on their mission, protecting the Dragon Reborn… well, and Moiraine. There was no way to deny that.

But now was not the time to think about Lan's loyalty toward Moiraine. The Aes Sedai turned to Rand, who stared at the Waygate. He probably remembered the last time they had used one, meeting a Trolloc and Machin Shin in there. "You have to channel into it." There wasn't enough time to explain to him what she used to do to open it. Besides, Saidin and Saidar worked differently. Her explanations would probably do no good to him. "Split it open with sheer force if you have to." She didn't like the thought of using the Waygate like that, but there was no other way.

"No, he won't."

Surprised, Moiraine turned to Lan. What did he mean? Hadn't that been the plan? Freeing Rand, helping him escape the Aes Sedai before the Reds would gentle him and get him out of the city?

"You're going to open it."

Moiraine almost laughed. Well, she deserved that slap to the face. She had done way worse to provoke Lan. It was just fair that he tried to repay her for her behavior by acting like she could still channel the One Power. Usually, the uncrowned king of Malkier didn't seek revenge, but apparently, the Cairhien woman had gone too far. A part of her wondered how often he would remind her of her failure.

"Just do it," Moiraine told the Dragon.

The boy was not part of their argument and shouldn't get confused by the Malkieri's words. Especially since she mentioned to him that she couldn't channel to protect them from Lanfear invading their dreams.

But Lan wasn't willing to give up easily. Since Moiraine ignored him, he pulled Rand into it. "Look at Moiraine. With the source."

"Lan."

Light, what was he planning? The Warder knew she couldn't channel anymore. Or did he not believe her any longer? Have her countless secrets been the reason for his distrust? Did he assume she had been lying about that, too? – Pretending to be stilled so she couldn't unmask their bond?

But if he believed that, why had he asked her if she had considered killing herself? That made no sense.

"Not just your eyes. What do you see?"

"Don't."

Moiraine couldn't keep the plea nor the exhaustion from her voice. She just wanted Lan to stop. This wasn't the time for revenge. They had to leave Cairhien – escaping from Siuan and the other Aes Sedai – if they wanted to save Rand. Couldn't he torture her later?

A sudden change in the air made the woman of the Blue Ajah focus on the boy from the Two Rivers. She couldn't see Saidin, and he wasn't using his hands to indicate he was weaving. Yet she was certain Rand had touched Saidin. Moiraine held her breath while Rand's eyes moved over her body.

What would Rand see? He couldn't see Saidar as she couldn't see Saidin. It was ridiculous to imagine he could see what had been done to her. Rand was too young and too inexperienced to….

Suddenly, the Dragon gasped, turning his eyes on Lan. "It looks like a knot tied together."

Again, Moiraine felt like she had received a slap to the face. A knot? "That's im… it's impossible." What was the purpose of that knot? When had she received it? Had Ishamael done something else to her than just cutting her off from the One Power? Was this like a mark to keep track of her?

"There's a story from the Age of Legends about the Forsaken's powers…"

Surprised, the Aes Sedai turned her attention back on her Warder. It was hard for her to focus on his words. Her mind felt empty. Age of Legends? Forsaken? How did Lan know about all that? What had he been doing while he had been separated from her?

"…a skill that's been lost for thousands of years – to tie off weaves and leave them in place."

A weave? Ishamael had tied off a weave on her? That was crazy! Why should a Forsaken do something like that? Moiraine was still surprised that the father of lies hadn't killed her when he had the chance but assumed that her pain had been a better punishment in his eyes. Or he had hoped she would kill herself after experiencing the loss of Saidar.

"It never made sense to me, Moiraine." Moiraine barely noticed Lan stepped closer. Her head was spinning, and… there was that small part in her that dared to hope again. And it grew with every word leaving Lan's lips. Light, she wanted Lan to continue! She wanted him to say the bloody words she longed for. Her heart soaked in every word, and her eyes never left his.

Additionally, it became harder to breathe while Lan continued, "What you're feeling? Ishamael didn't still you. Not even a Forsaken could do that alone. It is a shield that he's tied off. Which means…."

Her Warder was clever. He wouldn't give her the words she was looking for. No, Lan wanted her to say it. Somehow, the Malkieri must have known about that little seed of hope within her.

Moiraine's eyes found Rand. The Dragon Reborn – a male channeler like the father of lies – who could see what Ishamael had done to her. The only person in the world who could do the unthinkable for her. "It can be removed."

Now that the words were out, a smile formed on the Aes Sedai's lips when she turned her head back to her Warder. How had she ever been able to doubt him? Lan had repeatedly proven he was on her side, having her back no matter how rough things got. And now, it seemed like he had found a solution to her situation. A solution!

"Yes." Lan smiled proudly.

The Aes Sedai wanted to kiss him. This incredible man had never given up on her. She wanted to send her love for him through the bond. Light, he needed to know how incredible he was!

"What do I need to do?"

Rand's question reminded the older ones that they weren't alone. Quickly, they broke eye contact, then Lan focused on Rand. "You don't have the skill to untie this knot. You'll have to cut it."

Immediately, the Dragon looked shocked. Apparently, he feared to hurt her.

Moiraine felt her stomach twisting. The thought of letting a man who didn't have much time to train his skills use Saidin… and not just that. Rand was supposed to use it on her. What if he did something wrong? What if he used too much of the One Power? Neither she nor Lan would notice until it was too late.

The Warder and Aes Sedai exchanged a glance. Moiraine saw the same doubt in Lan's eyes, which disturbed her, too. Was the boy ready to do something like that? Could he do it without hurting the woman of the Blue Ajah?

You have to trust someone at some point, Moiraine.

When the look in the Malkieri's eyes changed from worry to determination, and he begged her to trust him, Moiraine released a small sigh. She trusted Lan – that had never been the issue. But would her trust in him be enough to allow the boy to work on her?

You have to trust someone at some point, Moiraine.

Well, Rand had immediately asked how he could help. Although Moiraine was an Aes Sedai, and he didn't trust her completely, the young man hadn't hesitated to offer his help. He didn't want to hurt her. He wouldn't hurt her.

"I trust you."

Moiraine couldn't say who was more surprised – Rand or herself. But the Dragon recovered quickly. In the next moment, the Cairhien woman noticed something in the air again. This time, she was sure that Rand used Saidin. It was the only explanation for what she was feeling.

"Go on."

Luckily, both men couldn't hear how loud the Aes Sedai's heart was beating. Her blood pulsed in her ears while she waited for the impact. Would it hurt? Could the knot be removed? What if Rand's skills were too weak to free her? The boy hadn't trained much with the One Power. Or would he accidentally kill her? Would Lan feel her death?

"Cut through it."

The woman of the Blue Ajah pressed her fingers on her chest. She didn't know where that knot was, but when she remembered the path of Rand's eye during his examination and where they had stopped when he had explained what he saw, the knot had to be somewhere in that region.

Light, Rand looked tense. Maybe they should stop that. Now that they knew about the knot, they could try another time to get rid of it. Maybe after Rand had time to….

Suddenly, Moiraine's body tingled. It was like it became alive again after feeling numb for such a long time. Saidar washed over her, and she gasped.

"I feel it." How long had she longed for it? How many times had she wished to feel Saidar just once again? "I feel it." Finally, she could breathe again. After all this time, everything was like it had been before.

"Thank you." Rand nodded when she thanked him. Without him – without his courage to try, though he hated to use the One Power – she would still feel miserable. All the knowledge didn't help when there was no one to help you.

But there was more. She hadn't been stilled! It had been a bloody shield like Lan had said. The man had given her the greatest gift he could possibly find.

"Thank you."

Moiraine's words were barely audible this time, but Lan had heard her. He couldn't feel how thankful she was for his friendship and help, yet the Aes Sedai wasn't sure how well she could keep her face emotionless. Decades of training with the One Power to present the perfect calm Aes Sedai mask were forgotten. Her joy of feeling Saidar again brought her to tears. Light, she wanted to hug both men for their help!

"I am sorry it took me so long to do my duty."

A light chuckle escaped the Aes Sedai's lips. Hearing him apologize for not coming up with the solution earlier was ridiculous. Even she hadn't known about that long-forgotten skill. Why was he beating himself up over it?

Moiraine wished they had time for her to talk some sense into Lan, but they needed to leave with Siuan on their heels. Maybe there would be a moment in Falme to talk to him.

With new strength running through her body, the woman of the Blue Ajah turned toward the Waygate, opening herself to Saidar. It felt like welcoming an old friend. The One Power filled her veins, following her command like they had never been separated.

Opening the Waygate was a simple task, but it felt satisfying. After months of walking a dark path, the light had returned with the cutting of the knot. Finally!