The title says it all.
Chapter #207: Meanwhile, with the Ladies
Xavier (and Sigyn's) Apartment - 15:22 PM
"Your neighbours are so lovely," Freya states.
For a building full of retired SHIELD agents, the ladies had quite the welcome considering two are current agents, three are Avengers kids, a "wizard" (as reported from Camp SHIELD), the Princess of Wakanda, and an Asgardian warrior with her sword. They mostly got a kick out of the sword and each got their turn to hold and swing it.
As expected, the ladies arrived at Sigyn's apartment to an incomplete television. Their boys only opened the box and threw around the packaging material. The TV itself was sitting against the wall with the wall deck on the coffee table surrounded by half-filled beer bottles. A pile of neatly wrapped wires sit on the couch on top of the instructions.
"Typical," Sigyn says. She checks her phone and smiles at her background image of her newlywed picture at the Academy, but it's disappointing to see the photo because she has no text notifications from her husband or any of their friends. "I don't see them coming back any time soon."
"Honestly, last I saw was Blake texting me that they picked him up from the airport," Merida says, swiping through texts. "Clearly, they were here."
"Good," Emily says as she rolls her sleeves, "we don't need them. Alright, ladies, let's set this up."
Angela and Freya hold the TV up with no effort as Emily ducks underneath to secure it to the wall stand that she drilled in first. Iqadi ties up Emily's hair into a messy bun before ducking underneath to help connect wires. Sigyn stands on the couch across to make sure it's in a good place and straight, testing all angles when rotated to the sides. Merida pulls out the remote from the box and unwraps it, she pulls out batteries from her pocket that nobody knows why she even has (not even her).
Once those are popped in, Merida hands Sigyn the remote since it's her television. Once it lights up, she jumps down on the couch and pats the spots next to her for the others to sit. Merida grabs a random half-finished beer to finish, cringing once she tastes the room temperature liquid.
"Just get another one," Freya says.
"I've had worse," Merida responds.
"Any guesses as to whose it is?"
Merida takes another guess and sloshes it around her cheeks as if that indicated anything. "Nope, but I would guess Imanu based on no substantial reasoning whatsoever if you wanted some."
Merida hands over the bottle to Iqadi who shakes her head. She shrugs and keeps it to herself.
"I don't know what any of these bougie features mean," Sigyn says, flipping through the settings. All she understood were the time and date despite both being incorrect.
"I don't even know and my name's on the damn thing," Emily says as she stretches over Angela to take the remote and start flipping through.
"Speaking of bougie," Angela mutters as Emily climbs off her. "James and I were talking about changing the fireplace in our room so he called an interior designer his mom knows. She comes over and shows us some examples. The cheapest out of them was $60,000."
Angela expects more of a reaction but all she got were dropped jaws from Merida and Sigyn. Emily nods approvingly while Iqadi and Freya just eyed each other while mouthing currency differences and still being unfazed. Royalty.
"Right?" Angela continues, looking at Merida and Sigyn. "And James said-"
"$60k for a new fireplace?" Emily questions. "That sounds like a great deal."
"He picked one that was $80k because it was a nicer colour!" Angela exclaims. "Said something like it's only an extra 20."
Merida chokes on her beer. "Rich bitches. I hate all of you. I'm broke."
"We have the same salary and I can afford The Cheesecake Factory."
"Fuck off."
Sigyn smiles as she manages to pull up the TV guide on the screen. "That's Xavier's favourite place."
"Cause he's a basic bitch."
"A factory of cheesecake?" Freya says excitedly, already standing. "Can we go?"
"I'm hungry," Emily adds. She stands and takes out her keys. "Let's get some basic food."
"There is no way in hell we have the same salary!" Merida yells at Angela.
"We do so!" Angela responds. "We have the same education and clearance."
"True…" Merida puts her or maybe Imanu's beer down. "Either way, Xavier's is probably higher than ours."
"Nice," Sigyn says as the other girls ignore her.
"Probably Camp reparations," Emily guesses. "I get paid more as a consultant either way."
"Fuck you," Angela and Merida say in sync.
-o-
The Cheesecake Factory - 16:47 PM
"I expected more cheesecake," Freya says, underwhelmed.
She was disappointed not only that she had to leave her sword in Emily's car, but also because there was only one page of cheesecake options out of a menu that looked like a laminated novel. Also, she isn't sure how she got the centre spot in their booth but it would be a hassle to get out unless she could just throw herself over the table.
"Okay, back to where I was getting," Merida says. They were chatting on the drive over but stopped when they arrived and had to take their seats and flip through the long menus. "So your contingency plans consisted of me getting hypnotized by Red Room voodoo."
"Precisely," Iqadi responds.
If the waiter handing them their platter of vegan nachos for the table heard any of what Merida said, their face didn't show it. Angela thanks them since she was sitting at the edge of the booth before turning back to the girls. Everyone helps themselves to a portion on their plates.
"But how would you know if Red Room voodoo would work on me to begin with?" Merida asks.
"It's basic hypnosis," Iqadi explains as if she was giving a lesson on basic addition, "but you are a product of your mother so I was hedging my bets that whatever treatments and sera she got then would've been passed onto you. I always figured that's how she had a relatively easy pregnancy with you, a means for survival. You didn't wake up so it worked."
"Miracle baby," Angela says with a grin. She sips her fruity drink while Merida glares at her. "But how did you wake up from that basically coma?"
Merida shrugs. "I thought Apollo electrocuted me with his axe or you used an epi-pen to jump-start things."
"Okay, we considered that," Emily admits, "and for James as well. And maybe Daniel and Angela. Daniel got an epi-pen, though."
Sigyn laughs, wiping her mouth with a napkin. Once she settles, she quickly waves her hand with magic that vanishes in thin air.
"Asgardian voodoo," Sigyn answers. "I woke you up. When I wiped Apollo's mind, I sometimes visited him psychically so that only he saw me. Other times, he just hallucinated me from his brain. But anyways, I popped in one time when most of you were gathered around Merida on the couch wondering how to wake her up. As much as I wanted to avoid you all to avoid cracking, I wanted to drop in. I teased him but also brought you back."
The table goes silent minus crunching from nachos and cutlery scraping against plates amid the noisy ambiance of The Cheesecake Factory. They know that Sigyn had her own goals after she and Apollo found out about Ragnarök, how she wanted to start the big day and get over with Apollo killing her. But her breaking character, even for that slim second in her primal state of hysteria, just to wake up Merida did more than she could've imagined.
"I regret blaming you for all our problems," Merida mutters, crushing a soggy nacho with her fork.
"To be fair, I'm the cause of most of them," Sigyn responds. She knows that's the closest she'll get to a sincere apology from Merida.
"Understatement," Freya says, killing the sentiment at their table.
Nobody expected Freya, of all people, to say that about Sigyn. Even Sigyn looks offended from across the table having dropped her fork on the table. Angela and Emily kept straight faces until they make eye contact and laugh hard yet silently, leaning into each other.
"Long eight years which you didn't help in easing," Freya explains.
Sigyn shrugs. "Oh well."
"At this rate, you'll be the reason Xavier dies next year," Emily says as casual as a discussion on the weather.
Sigyn chokes on her drink which Freya gets a laugh from.
"We've realized it's almost a pattern," Angela explains, using their nacho platter to explain. She separates all the food parts into groups with her knife: chips, vegan cheese, sour cream on the side, guacamole on the side, olives, jalapeños, and salsa. "Alternating objectively good things in comparison to basically death all create the wonderful Camp experience and history for my stupid brother. Year one, chips, fine because we were all freshmen. The basics."
"Vegan cheese is his abomination of a second time there," Merida continues, "like vegan cheese itself."
"Yeah, not arguing with you there." Angela points at the guacamole with her knife. "A fun third time. It rained a lot and he grew a beard."
"Then my favourite year," Emily says happily. "Let's call it the salsa because this one is rancid and he got poisoned indirectly by a dendrotoxic snake. A fucking impressive creation that I'm mad about not creating myself. I just get Technovore out to kill me instead."
"Next one had nothing memorable," Iqadi adds, "just like how this sour cream is bland."
"Jam-packed year after," Angela says, glancing at the chicken on the side. Her eyes go distant before she plasters a smile. "But then a spicy one after that because you got married." She pops one slice of jalapeño in her mouth.
"You're bringing the olives next year," Merida says, "nobody fucking likes those. Happy anniversary in advance."
"Fascinating," Freya states while Sigyn rolls her eyes at the long-winded food metaphor and being deemed the same as olives, "you should suggest serving nachos at Camp."
Sigyn narrows her eyes but nods. She uses her magic and folds her hands together to mix up all the nachos again. "I'll bring it up. Maybe we can get some catering."
She lowers her hands under the table as the waiter returns to take their orders for the main course.
"Merida," Freya says, "I apologize for bringing this up again but is being a Black Widow genetic?"
Merida shakes her head. "No, but my mom had an involuntary hysterectomy and then got pregnant with me many years later. According to Iqadi's weird logic, then maybe."
"Fascinating."
Merida clears her throat. "Not under the circumstances she got them, but my existence yes."
"I don't think it's genetic," Emily brings up. "All you got from your mom was her hair and other non-Red Room things."
"And hearing Russian voodoo might put me to sleep anyways," Angela adds.
"Your mom was a baby nurse!" Sigyn exclaims, pointing a nacho chip at Freya.
"OBGYN?" Emily questions.
"That's what I said."
"Isn't Freya also the goddess of fertility?" Iqadi asks. "Amongst many other things."
Freya shrugs. "I was named after her. None of that means I know a thing about the female body and hysterectomies. I have an idea. Why don't we take on The Red Room if it's still around?"
Angela and Emily choke on nachos at the proposal. Iqadi pats both their backs while nodding at Freya. Sigyn looks at her, eyes wide in concern as Freya casually sips her ice-cold lemon water.
Merida slowly nods as she thinks it over. "Not a bad idea, actually."
-o-
Location Classified - Time Classified
Their meal was interrupted mid-dessert when they got an emergency call from Imanu using James' phone to call Emily saying he was in a battle but hiding to the side. He screamed about a drunk Hulk and Apollo's axe flying down from the sky in a stream of lightning. Xavier had his shield as James glowed ready to fire. Imanu and Blake hid behind their car watching the whole thing play out.
His screeching tone should've indicated worry amongst the ladies, but they had to wait for the cheque and figure out who would drive them to a location they had to first find. And stop for snacks since "the boys will be fine … probably."
"Jerky tastes better on Asgard," Freya says as they pass around the bag they picked up on the way.
Everyone except Angela takes a piece and bites. Chewing noises fill the car as they rip through the empty roads.
"Does not," Sigyn argues.
"Cause you got the shit kind," Merida says, taking another piece anyways. "I should know. I ate this all the time in the Academy."
"She put it on ramen," Angela says, shuddering at the memories.
"The broth hydrated it!"
"Even worse."
"It's better in Wakanda," Iqadi states. "I'll bring you some next time."
"Fascinating," Freya says.
"Not really since everything's better in Wakanda," Emily mutters.
Merida extends her bow, another weapon she had to leave in Emily's car. Emily and Iqadi had to duck once the weapon expanded. All the ladies dug into her quiver trying to pick an arrow for her and ultimately agreed on the one with the patriotic arrowhead.
Once Angela drives closer to the lightning storm, Iqadi's eyes whiten as she darkens the clouds. Merida opens the window and kneels on Freya as she stretches her body out. The wind nearly pulls her out of the car since it's going against her, and she grips her bow tightly. She aims it as high as she can but at the centre of Apollo's lightning, and fires.
Once her arrow disappears in the storm, fireworks explode. The fight below stops as they look up at the sky like moths to a flame. Merida fires another arrow that skids to the ground in the middle of the fight and explodes. The Hulk roars and Freya jumps out of the car, stopping beside Apollo but looking at The Hulk.
"Fascinating," Freya says to the Hulk before glaring at Apollo.
"Why are you mad at me?" Apollo asks.
"Apollo!"
"Can you blame me?" Apollo yells, opening an arm to the Hulk. "Daniel's now accepting of it which makes it more fun."
"You could've invited me." Freya crosses her arms.
"No girls allowed. Besides, he's mean."
Freya punches his arm. "Apollo Foster, that is your friend."
"Puny sword," the Hulk tells her.
Freya cuts herself off. Even Apollo covers his laugh with a cough but Freya's too fixated on the Hulk to notice or care. She looks up at the Hulk, glaring as her grip tightens on her sword. The Hulk balls its fists as she narrows her eyes and raises her sword above her head.
"You puny beast!" Freya screams at him.
She charges at him. From the sidelines, Emily puts on her sunglasses.
"Yeah, I'm not getting involved in that shit," she mutters, watching Freya slash her sword at her hulked-out husband. She opens another bag of jerky as she sits on her car's hood.
Sigyn appears on Xavier's back. He reaches over and almost throws her off but she kisses his cheek and he smiles.
"Get him, get him!" Sigyn exclaims, pointing at James with a piece of jerky before taking a bite. She shoves the rest into Xavier's mouth.
"Bigger target now," James mutters.
"At least hit the jerky," Angela says as she approaches him with a gun (another weapon she left in the car but could've just brought inside the restaurant if she wanted).
James looks at her appalled. "I want to break up."
Angela points her gun at him and he grins as he puts his hands up.
"For the record," James mutters, "he started it."
James points at Apollo, forcing himself and Angela down when his axe flies over their heads.
"You shot me first!" Apollo yells.
"Yeah, you did," Xavier adds.
"Wait, really?" Sigyn asks. "How come I wasn't invited to watch?"
"No girls allowed."
"Did he kill you this time?" Emily asks with a snarky laugh.
Xavier flares at her. "Fuck off, Stark."
"You and your basic bitch nachos can fuck off."
Xavier isn't sure what she said so he doesn't know how to react. Instead, Sigyn laughs from his back as she straps the shield onto her back.
"Ha, basic bitch," she says before shoving more jerky into his mouth. "We should buy some on our way home."
"You will break my sword!" Freya screams as she leaps over one of the Hulk's swipes. She stabs her sword into the ground as leverage to leap and kick the Hulk's side.
"Break it! Break it!" Apollo cheers.
"Apollo!" Freya yells as the Hulk throws her off of him and onto Apollo.
Merida stands behind the guys' car where Blake and Imanu are crouched. She nods at them as she rummages her quiver.
"Ich vermisse dich," Blake whispers to her as he stands.
Merida keeps her eyes on her arrows as her face reddens to the same shade as her hair. "Yeah, same."
He kisses the side of her head as she fires another smoke bomb arrow at the Hulk and Freya. Emily, Angela, and Sigyn screech but probably at the kiss and not the arrow. She's offended.
"You were a cute Girl Scout," Blake says.
Merida almost drops her bow. "I never told you - what the hell were you guys doing?"
"Just trying to build a TV," Imanu mutters.
Emily laughs. "Trying is an insult to what you boys attempted to do."
After a mess of lightning and roaring, Iqadi flutters down from the sky and tosses her husband an opened package of jerky. He takes a piece out, looks at it, bites it, and spits it out. Iqadi smiles to herself as he grimaces.
"Ew, what is this?" Imanu asks.
"American jerky," Iqadi responds.
Imanu shudders. "Insulting."
"That's what I said when I took some of Merida's in her apartment," Blake says. "She puts it in ramen."
"Fuck all of you," Merida states. "I have a weapon."
"I make them," Emily adds proudly.
"I am one," Iqadi says.
"We're such a good team!" Emily cheers as Blake and Imanu scurry off to hide somewhere else.