Calvin And His Wonderful Lamp

Chapter One: The Deal

Thunder rumbled overhead as rain pelted hard against the deck. All over the ship, figures dashed about in a deadly dance. The ship's loyal crew fought valiantly to protect their precious cargo from the invasive band of pirates. Loud clangs rang out as steel clashed against steel. The sailors pressed the attack with all their effort, but for all their training, the pirates fought with the savagery of demons. Little by little, the ship's crew was losing ground as their numbers were slowly culled. And for every pirate cut down, it seemed a new one appeared in his stead. Though the sailors had pledged their lives to protect their cargo, their hearts began to falter as they battled through whipping winds, biting cold and dwindling numbers.

It was hopeless.

But then, a brilliant flash of lightning illuminated the ship; and what it revealed renewed the crew's weary hearts. For upon the mast stood the ship's intrepid captain, Calvin the Bold! Seizing a rope in a firm grip, Calvin swung down into the midst of the melee, kicking a pirate overboard as he landed. With a puckish grin, he brandished his scimitar, daring any scurvy brigand to cross blades with him. As one the pirates charged. And though he was vastly outnumbered, Calvin was far too deft and far too quick. With purposeful blows he struck at the invaders; striking their weapons out of their hands, knocking their feet out from under them, tossing them over the railings. Hack! Slash! Parry! Calvin was a whirlwind of steel as his sword struck back at the invaders. Every blow left another pirate out of commission.

And then Calvin saw him. Surely, this must be the captain of these lawless brigands, for he was the biggest, ugliest and most heavily armed of all the pirates. The brute snarled at Calvin as lightning highlighted his hideously scarred face. At the sound of the captain's guttural growl, the remaining pirates lowered their weapons and stood to the side. The remaining sailors followed suit. All seemed to understand, though no order was given - this would be the decisive fight.

The two captains looked each other up and down, sizing up their opponents. Then with a chorus of beastly roars, they charged each other, swords held aloft, ready to bite into their enemies. Closer and closer the combatants raced toward each other, ready to end this fight in one decisive blow!

"Calvin!"

Calvin's head turned to the side so quickly it gave him whiplash. There in the doorway, his mother stood, hands on her hips with an irritated expression on her face.

"Is that really the most effective way to sweep the floor?" the woman demanded, tapping her foot impatiently.

Calvin's attention turned back to the broom he held aloft, its handle pointing forward in a thrusting motion. With a guilty smile, he grabbed the handle properly and started whisking the bristles back and forth across the stone floor with dizzying speed.

Calvin's mother watched for a moment, letting out a soft groan. She was disappointed to find her son lost in his daydreams, but not at all surprised. After all, this was the exact sort of behavior she had had to put up with for the past eighteen years. With a quick eye roll, she said "Breakfast is almost ready. Hurry up and finish." She then turned to head for the kitchen, adding "Be sure to get all the corners this time."

Calvin gave a soft grumble at the reminder, but none the less brushed harshly at the corners. In due time, he completed his task and followed his mother to the kitchen.

After their scanty meal was eaten, Calvin loaded up all of his mother's recently completed wares. Bidding her a quick goodbye, Calvin left his mother to her sewing and set off through the city streets for the bazaar.

Aside from the other merchants setting up their stalls, the marketplace was mostly deserted. And that suited Calvin just fine. This really was his favorite part of the work day; it wasn't too hot out and the crowds were practically nonexistent. Once his stall was stocked with the clothes his mother made, Calvin was free to let his mind wander. Down the way, the fish merchant was chasing off a stray cat. Calvin felt a pang of sympathy for the poor beast, it had found itself a veritable feast , only for some huge monster to come swinging it's big, meaty fist at it. Calvin had always liked cats; going wherever they wanted, answering to no one, nimbly escaping whatever danger they found themselves in. Ah, if only he could be so lucky.

As the cat fled, it disturbed a flock of birds that had been milling about, causing them to scatter. One bird took off and flew right in front of Calvin's face. He stared transfixed as the bird ascended to the heavens, beating its wings furiously. Of course, Calvin was far from the first man to stare in awe at birds in flight, but what occupied Calvin's mind was the actual process of flight. How did it work? What motion did the wings make to carry the birds off the ground? It couldn't be as simple as an up-and-down motion, Calvin had tried it himself many times. There had to be some other motion he was missing. For that matter, Calvin had seen larger birds that could hold aloft for long stretches of time without moving their wings at all.

As Calvin contemplated these ideas, he began to wonder what it was actually like to fly. And soon he began to envision himself as a bird, soaring through the clouds, feeling the rush of the wind, looking down at the poor, pitiable earthbound creatures. Ah, this was true freedom; to be able to go anywhere at all, when not even the earth itself could hold him down. He swooped through the air then divebombed toward the ground before soaring skyward again. Up, up, up , higher and higher he flew until the earth beneath him was a distant memory. And then, the clouds parted, and Calvin found himself facing a beautiful goddess smiling down at him, her arms extended in invitation to a warm embrace.

"Pardon me, sir."

Calvin blinked. The goddess' visage vanished, and in her place a young woman stood before his market stall. Calvin jolted to an upright position with a startled yelp. " Hello! Yes! You is Pardon! " he stammered out. When she only stared blankly at him, he straightened up and cleared his throat. "Good morning! And what can I get for you this fine day? We have a wide selection of clothing for all your daily, uh, clothing needs! Robes, over coats, sashes, the works! All made from the finest linen, soft as a newborn kitten's pelt! Can I interest you in a new traveler's cloak? Or perhaps a head piece?"

The woman offered him a soft smile. Her deep brown eyes traveled over the assortment of garments. "They're all quite lovely." she said, brushing a hand along the hanging fabric. "Did you make all of these yourself?"

"Oh, no." Calvin answered, shaking his hand. "No, my mom's the one who actually makes the clothes. I just sell 'em."

"Oh. Well your mother does very fine work." she said.

Calvin grinned. "I'll be sure to pass along the complement."

"So, you and your mother work together, huh?"

" Yup . Just the two of us."

She blinked at him. "Just the two of you? Is you father not involved at all?"

Calvin stared directly into her face, his sky-blue eyes connecting to her warm brown eyes. His moth stretched out into a taught, thin line. After a pregnant pause, he croaked a drawn out " No. "

The young woman took a step back, placing a hand to her chest. "Oh, sorry… touchy subject? " she asked.

"... A bit." he answered.

The woman went back to perusing his wares. "Do you enjoy this line of work?" she asked.

Calvin shrugged. "It's a livin'."

"Well,... given the choice, would you still sell your mother's clothing for a living?"

Calvin narrowed his eyes at her. "Y'know, you're awfully chatty, considering you haven't even introduced yourself."

" Oh! " she jolted, face flushed. Then, bashfully offering her hand, she said. "My name is Susan."

"Calvin." he replied, taking her hand in his own. "And, given the choice,... Well,... I'd rather go exploring! "

"Exploring?" Susan hummed. "I… really didn't expect an answer like that. "

"Yeah, well… there's a whole world outside these city walls!"

"Ah, and you want to see the world?" Susan stated, wondrously.

" Oh , I don't want to just see the world. I want to uncover its secrets! "

Susan blinked. "Its… secrets? "

" Yeah! " Calvin crowed. "I mean, there's all sorts of phenomena that people see and just accept, But how do they actually happen?! What causes them? What causes dust devils to appear? What makes the rain fall? Why do stars only come out at night? What makes the sun go 'round the Earth?"

"You know, many scholars theorize that it's actually the Earth that goes around the sun ."

Calvin gawked at Susan. "Wait, really?! " he couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw her eyes briefly dart back and forth.

"I, uh, heard that in passing , once!" she hurriedly declared.

Calvin hummed. What had gotten into him; he wasn't usually the type to fraternize with customers like this. But then, she had an earnest, friendly aura about her… and to be fair, she was very easy on the eyes, what with her heart shaped face, her full lips, large, propping eyes and just a hint of thick brown locks peeking out from under her hood.

Thinking back on it, Calvin couldn't be sure how long he had just sat there staring. But the next thing he knew, Susan was saying. "Well, I should probably move along now. The morning rush seems to be coming in."

Calvin looked around the bazaar, and sure enough, it was considerably more crowded than when they had started talking. "Oh. well,... you sure I can't convince you to buy any-"

" Stop! THIEF! "

Calvin and Susan jolted at the sudden shout. They looked back through the crowded bazaar to see a wild eyed man charging through the market at breakneck speed. And he was heading straight toward them.

Thinking fast, Calvin grabbed a nearby barrel and rolled it right into the thief's path; sending the frenzied man tumbling into the dusty road.

If asked what spurred him to action, Calvin wouldn't really know. Perhaps a sudden pang of conscience reminded him of his moral obligation. Perhaps all those daydreams of heroism caused him to jump at the chance to live them out for real…

Or perhaps it was simply because a pretty girl was watching.

Whatever the reason, the thief was furious when he managed to pull himself to his feet. " You're gonna regret gettin' in my way! " he snarled at Calvin, brandishing a dagger.

" Whoa, whoa, WHOOOAAA. " Calvin said, raising his hands placatingly as he backed toward his stall. "Let's not be too rash, here. I'm sure we can talk things out rationally." Then grabbing an article from his stall, said "Can I interest you in a new sash?"

The thief answered by swinging his dagger through the sash, leaving a slit halfway through the middle.

" Hey , you break it, you buy it!" Calvin roared. But the thief was already making a second swipe.

Calvin ducked and kicked his legs out, knocking the thief's legs out from under him. The thief landed on the floor with a thud, dropping his dagger. Not wasting a moment, Calvin kicked the knife across the alleyway. Calvin figured that without his weapon, the thief would be much easier to take. However, the thief only became more erratic after that. He lashed out with punches and kicks one after another, a relentless onslaught. Calvin responded by dodging and ducking, occasionally striking back when an opening presented itself.

It wasn't a very graceful fight, but then, it's hard to look dashing when your strategy mostly consists of 'don't get hit' .

Finally, the thief reared back his fist for what he surely thought would be the finishing blow. Only problem was his motion was far too easy to read. So when the punch shot forth, Calvin nimbly sidestepped and grabbed the thief's wrist. Then with a quick twist, his back was flush against the thief's chest. And with a mighty heave, Calvin flipped the thief over his back, dropping him onto the floor and knocking the wind right out of him.

" Alright, BREAK IT UP! " Calvin looked up to see a troop of armed guards had arrived on the scene - along with a rather large group of spectators.

Calvin withdrew to his stall as the guards apprehended the thief. He scanned the applauding crowd, looking to see Susan's duly impressed face… but she was nowhere to be seen.

From the shadows, a dark figure watched the scene unfold. He cursed inwardly. That miserable thief had been so sure of himself! He had gone off, completely unprompted, to steal something as a means of demonstrating his skill - only to get caught almost immediately.

Now he would have to find some other schmuck to retrieve the treasure he sought.

He watched the young merchant being thanked and congratulated by the other onlookers and a wicked smirk crossed his face. Who better to replace his would-be thief than the man who took him down in the first place?

With the spectacle ended, the crowd slowly dispersed, back to their normal routines. Calvin enjoyed a brief boost in business, several amongst the crowd were more than happy to make purchases from the hero of the hour. But soon enough, the traffic on the street thinned, leaving Calvin alone with his thoughts.

"That was quite a daring act you pulled."

Calvin's head turned at the sudden voice. There was Susan, standing right in front of his stall, beaming at his with a glowing smile. "Oh, you actually saw it?" he replied. "It was hard to tell with your sudden disappearing act."

Susan's smile faded. Looking down, she said "I'm sorry about that… I didn't want the guards to see me."

" Oh. " Calvin looked the young woman over, curiously. Didn't want the guards to see her?… why would that matter? Could this earnest faced girl possibly be a CRIMINAL?

With a timid look, Susan approached the stall, placing something on the counter. Calvin was surprised to see the sash the thief had torn in their scuffle. "How much for this?" Susan asked.

"You… really wanna buy this?... Even though it's ripped?" She nodded and Calvin shrugged. " Eh , it's damaged goods, so… I'll let you have it at a discount."

"I insist on paying full price." Susan countered. "Think of it as an apology for leaving so abruptly."

And so the bargain was struck, the money and goods exchanged. "Thank you for your business." Calvin said, scooping up the deposited coins.

"My pleasure." Susan answered, bundling her new sash. "Perhaps I'll buy from you again, someday."

"I'll look forward to it." Calvin said.

Susan smiled, turning to leave. "Well, until then… goodbye, Calvin."

"So long, Susie!"

Susan abruptly stopped. " Susie? " she said, looking back.

Calvin made a little wave gesture. "Eh, 'Susan' just sounds so stiff and formal ."

Susan stared agog for a moment before letting out a bell-like chuckle. "Alright." she finally said. " Susie. " and with a final wave, she turned and left.

Calvin dropped the coins Susie had paid into the little pot on his counter one by one. When he came to the last one he paused. He looked up at Susie's figure as she weaved her way through the market. A sentimental smile crossed his face as he stuck the last coin into his coat pocket.

The light of the setting sun cast warm glow over the walls of the palace. From its towering spires to the immaculate gardens, the palace was a truly majestic sight. Many a passer-by would stop to gaze at the radiant vision before them.

One figure, however, was not so concerned with such a grand spectacle. Moving quickly, but not so quickly as to draw attention, the hooded figure worked her way around the great walls of the palace, all the way around to the far end where lay some carefully stacked crates. Up the crates she climbed until she reached the top of the wall, and then the branch of the great tree that hung so far out over. Once within the palace grounds, she snuck her way inside and with careful, purposeful steps, wound her way through the many opulent corridors until she reached her destination.

Within the room, a ginger haired young woman paced about; her fingers nervously drumming with a concerned expression on her face. Turning at the sound of the opening door, the young woman gave a sigh of relief. "Princess Susan! You're back!"

"Candace." Susan greeted, removing her cloak. Then, taking a good look at the other woman, she said. "Oh do stop wringing your hands like that. It's unbecoming of a lady."

Putting her hands to her side, Candace heaved a great sigh. "I'm sorry, your highness, but it really is quite nerve-wracking when you go out like that… and for so long , too." Taking the cloak from Susan, she added. "As your Lady in Waiting, I know it's not my place to say, but I really cannot condone this behavior."

"Candace, relax . Not a single soul recognized me." Susan replied.

"Perhaps none of the common folk, but your absence here was noted." Candace rebutted. "Your father is already suspicious; if he finds out -"

" IF my father finds out, I will take full responsibility for this." Susan cut her off. Then, placing a hand on her shoulder, added "I promise, you will not receive so much as a verbal reprimand."

Candace's expression suggested she was not reassured. "Why do you keep doing this?" she finally asked. "Why keep leaving the comforts of the palace to traipse about in the dust and grime with the peasants?"

In response, Susan walked to the window, becoming for Candace to follow. Gesturing to the city far below, Susan asked "What do you see?"

Candace looked down at the citizens plodding along, on their ways home for the night. "What, the peasants?"

"The people. " Susan answered, a note of chastisement in her voice. "One day, I will be responsible for these people. They will look to me for leadership… but how can I lead a people I know nothing about?"

"Surely there are other ways to learn about the commoners." Candace groused.

"There's only so much I can learn from second-hand experiences." Susan countered. "By actually going out among the citizens, actually talking with them, I can get a real feeling for what they need, and how best to lead them." Turning back into the room, Susan's mouth formed a wide smile. " Besides , you never know the exciting events that can unfold down in the city. Why just this morning I witnessed an attempted robbery!" At Candace's aghast expression, Susan held up a placating hand. "I'm fine, Candace. The thief never got close to me. In fact , this dashing young merchant stepped up and thwarted the thief, then fought him off until the guards could arrive!"

Then, snapping her fingers in realization, she said " Oh, that reminds me!" she then pulled out the sash she had purchased and handed it to Candace. "See if you can mend this, will you."

"I… yes , your highness." Candace accepted the cloth with resignation. She still had a great many concerns about her mistress's excursions - and now a new one had appeared as she recalled the wistful, dream-like expression the princess had assumed when talking about the dashing merchant. Well, she was only a lady in waiting. It wasn't her place to tell the princess how to live her life. She only hoped her mistress knew what she was getting into.

Calvin counted out the day's profit, tossing each coin into a little cloth pouch as he counted. Once finished, he drew the pouch closed and tucked it into his coat pocket. Closing the stall for the night, Calvin set off for home, his spirits still high from the events of the day.

Calvin had scarcely gone two blocks when a truly monstrous hand clapped onto his shoulder. Startled, Calvin spun around to see what he at first assumed to be an ape someone had dressed up in human clothes and trained to walk upright. "Hey there." The figure spoke, proving itself to be human - though that didn't make him any less frightening. He stood head and shoulders over Calvin with a thick, broad frame. His face was fat and lumpy, punctuated by a big, squashed nose. Black, stringy hair fell over his face, obscuring his eyes. "Caught yer little show this morning." the imposing figure continued through a wide, toothy smile. "Gotta say. It was real impressive."

"Uuuh, thanks. " Calvin gulped out, eagerly tugging at the hand on his shoulder, but to no avail.

"Lemme buy ya a drink." The dark figure said, turning toward the nearby cantina.

"That's, uh, real generous an' all, but I really ought to heading home." Calvin feebly argued.

" Nonsense! There's always time for a drink!" the huge man replied. He turned and strode straight into the cantina - and Calvin was swept along, as if he weighed nothing at all.

Once inside, the man dropped Calvin onto a stool by the bar, seating himself on the next stool over before ordering two drinks.

Calvin timidly sipped at his clay cup, never taking his eyes off his intimidating host. "Well,... thanks for the drink, mr., uuuh …"

"Call me Moe." the figure answered. "An' I got a proposal fer ya."

Calvin flustered. " Proposal?! Whoa, hey, I'm flattered and all, but you are not my type!"

" Shut up an' listen, twerp! " Moe snarled, shoving his ugly face right into Calvin's. Getting ahold of himself, Moe coughed and straightened up. In a calmer voice, he continued. "Now listen, waaay out in the desert, there's a cave. An' deep inside that cave… is a treasure. "

That got Calvin's attention. Raising a wary eyebrow, he asked. "What kind of treasure?"

"The ultimate treasure!" Moe answered. "What's inside that cave is worth a kings ransom - NO , a kings ransom of kings ransoms!"

" Okaaay …" Calvin said, eyeing the bigger man, warily. "So if this treasure is so great, why tell anyone about it? Why not just go and get it yourself?"

Moe tsked. "You don't just drop such a great treasure in a hole in the ground an' hope no one stumbles ontah it! There's bound ta be traps in there. So, whoever goes in after it needs ta be quick an' nimble - someone who can think on his feet!"

"Someone who can risk his hide while you reap the rewards." Calvin bitterly added.

Moe's nose and mouth crinkled contemptuously. Then just as quickly, his broad smile was back in place. "Sure, I'll admit the job's not without risks. But if you pull it off, you'll get a full share of the bounty!"

Calvin was pensive. A kings ransom of kings ransoms , that certainly was a lot. He thought about the tiny pouch of coins in his pocket, how long would those coins last?

"While yer thinkin' about it, here. " Moe said. He stuck his hand into his black robes and pulled out an item which he placed on the bar in front of Calvin. "Maybe this 'll give ya the incentive ya need."

Calvin shrewdly glanced down at the deposited item. It was an ornate ring. Calvin picked it up to closer examine it. The ring was made of fine brass with intricately embossed sides. The inside of the band bore an inscription of some sort that Calvin couldn't make out. And perched on the ring's crown sat a glittering green emerald the size of Calvin's thumbnail. Calvin turned the ring over and over in his hands, his eyes greedily taking in every minute detail.

Letting out an impressed whistle, Calvin turned to Moe and said "So now you're giving me a ring… you sure you're not proposing? "

Once the quip was out of his mouth, Calvin saw the clay cup in Moe's hand shatter, dropping jagged shards and splashes of liquid on the bar. Calvin gulped, shrinking back. He really should have known better - or rather, he had known better, he just couldn't help himself.

Moe remained silent as he drew in a long breath, then released it. At last, he said "Think of it as a down payment. You go intah the cave, the ring's yours ta keep. Wear it, sell it, pass it down ta yer kids, do whatever with it…" He then leaned in closer. "'Course, if ya decide not ta go… I will be expectin' it back."

Calvin thought about that, turning to look the ring over again. He reckoned that if he pawned the ring, he and his mother could live comfortably for a couple months at least. Of course, it was contingent on him venturing into a potentially dangerous cave. On the other hand, if he was successful, then any money he would get from selling the ring wouldn't even even compare to the fortune he would have.

After a great moment of deliberation, Calvin said "I want sixty percent of the bounty!"

Moe's face melted into a grotesque scowl. " SIXTY?! " he thundered.

" YES! " Calvin replied, his voice much too high pitched for his liking. Clearing his throat, he continued "Yes. If I'm the one who's gonna be risking life and limb for this treasure, then it's only fair that I take bigger share of the loot!"

Moe sat there in silence, his face a stony glower.

" Be-besides ," Calvin pressed on. "You yourself called it a kings ransom of kings ransoms. Surely forty percent of that would still leave you with more money than you could ever spend in a lifetime!"

Moe continued to glare at Calvin in stony silence; as if he were deciding which of Calvin's body parts he should pulverize first. Then, just as Calvin was feeling he should make a run for it, Moe's mouth spread into a broad, tooth-filled grin that looked as if it was causing him physical pain. " Fine. Sixty percent. " he spoke through his teeth. Then, rising from his seat, he said "Meet me outside the west gate at sun-up." And as he passed behind Calvin, he added " Don't. Be. Late."

"Mom, I'm home!" Calvin called as he walked through the door of his house.

"How was business, today?" his mother asked from the kitchen.

Calvin entered the kitchen to see his mother setting the table for dinner. "Good." he answered, tossing the pouch of coins onto the table. His mother hefted the pouch, feeling its weight. She smiled in appreciation. Calvin fidgeted, wondering how best to broach the next topic. "... Actually ,... after I closed up, someone approached me with an opportunity."

His mother paused. "... What sort of opportunity?" she warily asked.

"It uh,... involves going into a cave and… retrieving certain valuable items." Calvin explained.

His mother heaved a great sigh, dropping her head onto her chest. "Calvin,... you know how I feel about these sort of things."

"I'll be careful, Mom." Calvin reassured her. "I promise."

" Your father promised me he'd be careful, too." she rebutted. And Calvin could hear the tears in her voice.

Calvin felt a pang of guilt, but still pressed on. "Mom, if I pull this off, we'll be rich beyond our wildest dreams!"

"Assuming you don't die! " his mother raised her head to look at him and Calvin could see tear streaks running down her face. "What could possibly so valuable it's worth risking your life for?!"

" Nothing ventured, nothing gained! " Calvin responded. "Besides, I'm tired of living in this ramshackle hovel with only scraps to eat. Aren't you?! "

"We have our health, don't we?" she rebuffed. "We have each other, isn't that enough? Why can't you be content with what you have instead of risking your life just on the odd chance you might get something out of it?!"

Calvin hung his head. He knew where his mother was coming from, he knew all too well she had every reason to worry. He knew what he said next would break her heart, but there was no avoiding it. "I've already made the commitment, Mom… I'm going. "

Calvin's mother wouldn't speak to him for the rest of the night.

After a dinner eaten in morose silence, Calvin went to bed. He could still his mother quietly sobbing as he set out his cot. He almost felt like crying himself as he lay down, waiting for sleep to overtake him.

Of course, Calvin had another reason for going on this treasure hunt. One greater than the adventure - or even the loot. Moe had put on a veneer of friendliness, but that mask had slipped more than once - giving Calvin a clear view of the darkness beneath. Calvin was sure that if he reneged on their agreement, Moe would be out for his blood. And if it came to that, Calvin doubted his mother would be spared from Moe's wrath.

Of course, Calvin couldn't tell his mother any of this, She would insist on running away from the city. And then they would spend the rest of their lives looking over their shoulders, living out the remainder of their existence in constant fear… No, it was better if his mother knew as little about the job as possible.

And with that miserable thought for comfort, Calvin did his best to get to sleep. After all, he had a long day ahead of him.

Disclaimer: Calvin and Hobbes and all characters associated therewith are property of Bill Watterson