Stanley Asked for help: Tourist traps
Tuesday (day 16)
"Thank you all for coming, and have a wonderful day!"
Stanley waved as the most recent group filed out of the Shack. He sighed and sat on a small chair before picking up a water bottle and taking a few sips.
"How're you holding up Stanley?"
Stan turned to look at Caryn sitting behind the register, selling some tickets to the next group.
"Fine Ma. You handling the register is really helping me out with this. Having one less thing for me to worry about makes my breaks much more effective."
She smiled before turning to the next customers in line. Caryn smiled as she recognized them.
"Mary and Anna Rameriz? The pass holders?"
Mary nodded with a big smile on her face. "Hola Miss. Pines."
Caryn got a bitter smile on her face at the comment. "It is actually changing to 'Ms. Romanoff' soon."
Mary got a worried look in her eyes. "Please tell me you are just tossing the-" she then looked up at her mami before continuing, "bad person to the curb and divorcing him? Because if the pinata trial killed him…"
"Nope, he's still alive, or at least I think he is." Stan shrugged. "I know some friends outside the valley that also wanted a whack at him, so I left him with them and walked away. No idea where he is now or his condition."
Mary's expression didn't change, but Anna decided to take a risk to steer the conversation away from fathers around her daughter.
"Hay, did you go over the Journal you found."
As Mary eyed her mami curiously at the question, Stan leaped on it.
"Yes, I did. I also gave it to Ma to see what she thought of it."
Anna turned her gaze to the older woman, who, for some reason, felt like her own mother was waiting to see her report card.
"Yes, and I can safely say that this book is not at all child-appropriate. It has demonic images, necromancy, and directions to a cursed artifact in the woods."
She then reached down and picked up a paper bag filled with tissue paper before handing it to Anna.
"Here is a very low-quality copy of a different book for your review. When you're done, drop it in water, and it will melt in seconds."
Anna chuckled at that. "Really? Do you honestly expect me to believe that?"
During the tour
Stan placed an identical copy of Journal 2 on the table before the crowd.
"Witness one of my brother's greatest discoveries, instant decomposing paper!"
He then held out a hand to the crowd. "Does anyone want to add water?"
Anna rolled her eyes and stepped forward, holding out her water bottle.
"Come on Stan. I know you're a showman, but do you really think this town is gullible enough to believe your trick book?"
She then opened it, revealing a beautifully illustrated depiction of a zodiac with a triangular monopoly man in the center. To the right were summoning instructions.
Anna blinked before flipping the pages several times, finding nothing but curses, incantations, and dark powers described and explained within the book. She slammed it shut after finding a section on creating vampires.
"Ok, if that's the book you gave me to review, I'm going to tell you right now that I am not ok with Mary reading that as long as she is under my roof."
Stan nodded. "Ma and I agree, so you have a copy of Journal 1 for your review."
He smiled at the shocked expression on her face before continuing.
"I found journal one when I first got here. It covers his first 3 years in Gravity Falls and focuses on mythical beasts, geographic anomalies, and a 30-hour arm-wrestling match with a unicorn."
As Anna's face softened, he gestured to the book before him.
"Now that you have confirmed this is a real book, would you mind stepping behind the table and pouring your water over it?"
Anna shrugged before proceeding to do just that.
HISSS
As soon as the water hit the book, it melted in seconds. Soon, all that was left was a puddle of wood pulp.
Stan spectacularly waved his hands.
"TA-DA! This material will melt with any liquid that isn't ink. Perfect for secret messages you want to be destroyed after reading, documents that need to be shredded after use, or maybe-" He then glanced to Anna quickly before continuing, "other perfectly legal activities that won't get you arrested or in trouble with school.
"Available for sale at the register, only $2.35 for 100 sheets, or $0.05 for a single sheet."
The crowd oohed and awed at the display. They almost covered up the sound of the alarm clock on the side.
"And with that, it's now time for our five-minute break. If you want some refreshments, head over to the Snack Shack out front and get some from our baby Lovecraftian horror! Looking at them too long will melt your brain, so they are inside that sealed-up shack and will only briefly expose themselves to you when handing out your food. It's the same selection; we just chilled the water and juice boxes.
"If you want paper, it's for sale with my Ma at the register out front."
As the crowd scattered, Stan sat down again and picked up his water bottle.
This time, however, Mary and Anna went over to him.
"Hola Mr. Pines."
HE smiled up at them. "Hola Mary, Hola Anna. Did you enjoy the demonstration?"
Usually, Mary nodded rapidly while Anna smiled politely. This time, both of them nodded.
"This was the best one yet! The way that paper bubbled as soon as the water hit it was so cool! How did you get the book binding to do that?"
Stan just flashed his 'mysterious smile number 7tm' at the pair.
"A good magician never reveals his tricks. But he does sell them at the register at a fair price."
Anna might disagree with the "fair price" portion of that, but she wasn't going to call him out on that when he was the only provider of a neich product that she doubted anyone would want much of.
Her daughter, on the other hand, was looking at Stan with stars in her eyes. "Does this mean you are going to be selling merchandise here?"
Stan shrugged. "Maybe. The PTA that helped me find Journal 2 was interested in buying copies if I could find a publisher and replicas of something hidden within it. I've been having trouble finding businesses to make them or other merchandise."
Susan, who was milling about waiting for the tours to start again, turned to Stan.
"You're looking for someone to make souvenirs?"
Stan nodded, to which she grinned and began to fish around in her purse.
"I know some people who can probably help with that. Here."
She then pulled out and handed over a brochure titled "Rediscover Yourself on the Open Road: The Oregon Tourism Trail." Stan then opened and looked at the map inside.
It contained ten tourist traps, including a beaver museum, a giant yarn ball, log land, a corn maze, and Mystery Mountain.
"These attractions all work together and support each other. They offer maps and coupons directing tourists to each other and have a passport system where you get prizes if you go to all of them. You can call them up, ask if you can join, and see if they can help you with the merchandise."
Stan continued to at the map for a while before flashing Susan a smile.
"Thanks, Susan. I just might take you up on that."
She gave an awkward-sounding chuckle, but anyone who knew her knew that was just how her laugh sounded.
"You're welcome, you man of mystery."
As she walked away, swaying her hips a bit much, Stan was not staring after her but off into the distance.
"Man of mystery.
"Mr. Mystery."
Stan smiled and turned to Mary.
"Hay kid. How does Mr. Mystery sound for a stage name?"
She looked at him before a massive smile grew on her face.
"It sounds perfect."
After the Shack closed
Ring Ring Ring
"Hello, Granny Sweetkin's yarnball, the biggest ball of yarn in the world. How can I help you?"
"Hello, I'm Stanley Pines. Owner and operator of the newest tourist attraction in Gravity Falls, the Mystery Shack."
"Oh, hello Stanley. I've heard good things about your attraction. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"A few things. For starters, I heard that you're part of a group of tourist traps in the area that support each other and forward customers?"
"The Oregon Tourism Trail? If you're interested in joining, you must first complete an application process. I can mail you the paperwork today, though."
"I would appreciate that. I also wanted to know where you get your merchandise. I only have the museum, but I have had numerous requests for a gift shop."
"Oh, that? Sure, I can give you a few names and numbers. Multiple companies churn out souvenirs for businesses like us. I focus on selling hand-knitted items made by me and my knitting buddies, but I also include some things like knitting needles, yarn, knitting guides, and the standard souvenir items."
"Hun, you sell things you make?"
"Sure. You can get mugs and snow globes anywhere, but handcrafted items from a local business are much harder to get. Your stock of them will be smaller than the factory stuff, but you can get away with up-charging more for them because they are handmade. You can also add stories about how the creators only make so many a month and how they're keeping family traditions alive to help drive up the price."
Stan froze as he remembered seeing Manley Dan do some whittling while he was waiting in line. Susan making her own collars for her horde of cats. Mary Darling spread homemade jam over her lunch. The Valentino kid said he made his own soaps.
"I might try that. But until then can you give me the names and numbers of those companies?"
What followed was about five minutes of Stan jotting down another list of people he would be contacting about stuff to sell in his business. At this rate, he would put more effort into selling things to visitors than selling stories to them.
And the boardwalk in Glass Shard said he had no talent in the tourism industry.
Granted that was after he spent the entire time trying to flirt with the girls in the audience and annoying them all to the point of them throwing him into the sea.
"Ok, thanks, granny. Send me the paperwork to join your club or whatever you call it, and I'll send it back filled out as soon as possible. What can you tell me about it now though?"
"Glad to hear it. Most of the stuff on there is normal for tourism collectives like this. Keep stans with brochures and coupons for the rest of us out front and center, don't price gouge them TOO much because they might decide not to spend money at the rest of us, encourage customers to head in the direction of the other attractions, things like that. The more unique things involve honoring the passport system and being prepared to offer a special gift to those that fill in the whole thing and pay into the 'winter fund.'"
"Ok, I've got to ask. What kind of gift for completing the passport and what is the 'winter fund?'"
"Each of the attractions on the "Oregon Tourism Trail" has its own unique figurine that you can only get by turning in a full passport. Mine is one of those ceramic figures of me and a ball of yarn. Upsidown Town is a small, plastic model of the house. Logland is a log with a metal slide circling and going through parts of it large enough for marbles to ride. If you join, you will get to choose your own. They don't have to be fancy or expensive, but they have to look cool enough that people will want to try and collect them all.
"And since each full passport is only good for one of them, it will encourage them to go to all of us multiple times."
Stan smiled at the idea. "Sounds fun. What about the winter fund?"
"During the tourist season, we have a fund where we all put in money. When the tourist season ends around winter, it pays a set amount to help us get through the winter. If you have an emergency, like your attraction catching on fire, you can request that more be pulled from it to help you repair it.
"The more you put in, the more you are allowed to withdraw. That was to prevent any of us from being leches."
"Ok, sounds good. I'll get back to you when I get the papers. Bye."
"Bye Stanley. Have a nice day."
Vwdqohb mrlqhg wkh ixqg dqg fkrvh d kdqg-fduyhg iljxulqh ri 'Pbvwhub Pbvwhub' wr eh klv sulch. Pdqohb Gdq pdgh wkhp dw iluvw, exw hyhqwxdoob, Vwdq dqg Doha iljxuhg rxw krz wr pdnh wkhp.
I have decided to cap this series at 29 chapters, that way it will end with the year. I am not 100% happy with the in universe pasing and how I have been jumping from one idea to the next with no break, so when I do this again, I plan on setting up a timeline and outline from the start before writing my first chapter.
I have them all written up, and the final chapter is over 6k words.
I have a if you want to support me and my New Year's resolution of posting one fanfic of 2k words or more weekly. This is also being posted on , AO3, and Tumbler.
Starting December 1st, there will be three tiers
1$: get early access to the fanfic info dumps, I'll post them up to a month ahead of DevientArt as I make them.
$3: Get early access to my fanfics a week before I post them on FanFiction, AO3, or Tumbler.
$5: Exclusive Worldbuilding content. For December 1st and January 1st, you'll get a map of the casino Stan is making and a list of all the Caeser Cipher's decoded respectively.
Remove all the spaces from the URLs to get them to work.
: : / / w w w . user?u=10132890
. c o m : : / / w w w . s/14051718/1/luz–appreciation–week–2022–from–1228248
AO3: : / / works/52823413/chapters/133608991
Tumbler: : / / w w w . blog/brianedner
I am also doing fanfic info dumps, like wiki articles that go one episode at a time, with some compilations at the end on specific topics sorted by episode.
Fanfic info dumps here: : / / w w w . 1228248/gallery