CJ passed out almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. He didn't even have time to feel surprised at the fact. However, only two hours later did the teen jolt awake, heart racing, chest clenching harshly, and body coated in a slick, cold sweat. He shot up in bed and gulped down several deep breaths of air. Tears sprang to the corners of his eyes as CJ shakily shoved his blanket off of him, quickly crossing over to his bedroom window. He shoved it open and climbed outside, out onto the small platform of roof in front of him. The crisp September night air greeted him, sending a chill down his spine and goosebumps to raise on his skin. He welcomed the uncomfortable feelings as he slumped down, hugging his knees to himself and stared up at the night sky. The stars danced in his blurred vision, tears beginning to cascade down his cheeks.
He sucked in a few shaky breaths, trying to compose himself. He was being ridiculous, he berated himself. Why was he acting so weird? As if he had any problems in his life, as if he had any reason for acting this way. His life was great, so why did he struggle to sleep, and struggle to catch his breath, and struggle to stop the aching in his chest or the shaking of his hands?
CJ stared up at the stars, not knowing what time it even was. He sat out in the chilly Autumn air until he could see the sun beginning to rise, the sky changing to a light, pinkish hue, the stars fading away. He sighed to himself, ran a hand through his dark hair, before he clambered to his feet and headed back into his room. There was absolutely no use in trying to go back to sleep, he knew, so he took a quick shower to scrub the sweat off his body. He scrubbed at his skin harshly, gritting his teeth as he tried to scrub the thoughts of everything away.
Chilton uniform on, his red, raw skin covered, CJ checked his alarm clock: 5:15am. Fighting back a yawn, CJ slung his backpack onto his shoulder and tiptoed down the stairs and out the front door. Stars Hollow was quite peaceful at all times of the day, but there was something particularly serene about it in the early morning hours, before the majority of the town has awoken. The birds sang, and the crisp air felt refreshing on his burning skin.
CJ skated through the town, the wind whipping through his hair and jacket, before he came to a stop in front of a small, rundown house on the edge of town. Matt's house was one story, with a small front porch, and an unevenly cut front lawn. CJ kicked up his board and headed to the front window, tapping on the glass. After a minute, and right before CJ was daring to tap the glass again, the window slid open and Matt's bleary, tired face appeared before him.
"Morning," CJ greeted, not even attempting a smile. Even a forced smile felt like too much effort this morning.
"Hey, Ceej," Matt greeted, furrowing his brows. "What are you doing here at -" he turned his head to check his clock, "5:30 in the morning?"
"I'm here to pick you up."
Matt raised a brow at his friend. "For?"
"Breakfast," CJ replied as if it were obvious.
Matt stared. "Breakfast?"
CJ nodded. "Yup," he confirmed. "Luke's opens at 6, but I know he'll let us in a few minutes early."
Matt nodded, quickly turning around to get ready for the day. CJ practically stood guard at the window, shifting his eyes back and forth as if the pair were committing a crime. Well, CJ thought, to Matt's father they might as well be.
Matt slid carefully though his window a few minutes later, backpack in hand, before he closed it softly behind him.
"How's school?" CJ asked as he slid his skateboard into the straps on his backpack and swung the bag over his shoulders.
Matt shrugged. "It's fine. I still sit with the rest of the hockey team at lunch, but it's definitely a lot more boring without you."
"Oh, come on, the guys are cool."
Another shrug. "Yeah, but it's just not the same."
CJ frowned, nodding slowly. "I get it. Chilton is so different from Stars Hollow High. It's like I have culture shock every day."
"Well, you've gotta get used to bein' one of the fancy kids now," Matt spoke with a soft grin, nudging CJ with his elbow.
CJ snorted. "I am the furthest thing from fancy, and I don't see that changing."
"You never know. You're gonna spend years at Chilton, and then go to a fancy, ivy league school and forget all about the little people in Stars Hollow."
"That's never gonna happen," CJ denied with an amused shake of the head. "Have you seen me? I'll never fit in and be all . . . proper, or whatever."
"Whatever you say," Matt teased.
The pair walked in a comfortable silence for a moment.
"How are you?" CJ asked suddenly, quirking a brow at Matt as they walked.
Matt stiffened. "Fine," he brushed off.
CJ sent him a pointed look. "Matthew," he practically scolded.
His friend rolled his eyes, but sighed and said, "I'm okay." After another pointed look from CJ, he added, "Really, I am."
"Are you sure? Because the other day -"
"Ceej, I really don't wanna talk about it. I'm fine; I'm always fine, okay?"
CJ nodded slowly. He didn't truly believe him, but he didn't want to push further. "Okay."
The pair reached Luke's soon after and approached the door despite the clear sign that read 'Closed'. Matt checked the watch on his wrist. "It's only 5:45," he announced.
CJ shrugged and knocked on the glass anyway. They waited a moment, but there was no sign of movement from within the diner. He began knocking again rapidly, relentless in his pursuit of breakfast. After a long moment, the door swung open harshly, and Luke's annoyed expression greeted them.
"We don't open 'till 6," he grumbled.
"That's okay -" Matt began to say.
"Oh, come on, Luke, we're hungry," CJ cut his friend off, sending Luke a pleading look.
"And you'll still be hungry in ten more minutes."
"Or you could let us in now, and we'll stop annoying you."
"I don't think you'll ever stop annoying me, kid."
"Then it doesn't matter either way!" CJ exclaimed with a mischievous grin, grabbing Matt's arm and lightly pushing his way past Luke and into the diner. Pointedly ignoring Luke's low grumbling, he tugged Matt to their usual table in the back. He missed the whispered apologies Matt sent to Luke as CJ plopped them down in their regular seats. The pair sat and murmured quietly for a few minutes, before Luke trudged over to begrudgingly take their orders.
"I'll have two blueberry pancakes, a side of scrambled eggs with cheese, 3 slices of bacon - extra crispy, and a coffee, please."
Luke shook his head with a frown, but scribbled down the order. "And for you?" He asked Matt.
"Uh, I'll have toast with butter and a glass of orange juice, please."
The boys ate their breakfast soon after. CJ stuffing his face and slurping down coffee greedily, while Matt nibbled at his toast and sipped on his juice. When they'd finished, CJ paid the check quickly before they headed to the door, backpacks swung over their shoulders.
As CJ pulled the door open, the bell above his head jingling loudly, he bumped harshly into someone coming inside.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't see where I was -" He stopped in his tracks as he noticed who he was talking to. A tall, blonde girl stood before him, a similarly surprised expression on her face. CJ's heart began racing, his breathing quickening its pace to match. "Oh . . . Heather," he said, awkwardly. "Hey."
Heather smiled thinly, "CJ, hey," she said, nodding slowly.
The pair stood there, the silence engulfing them. CJ took in a few deep breaths, trying to get his body under control again.
"Uh, um . . . how've you been?" CJ asked, his cheeks tinging pink as he looked down and shuffled his feet.
"Good," she said, tersely, with a small shrug. "You? I heard you go to a prep school or something now."
CJ nodded, motioning to his uniform, "Uh, yeah, Chilton. It's good. . ."
Heather nodded back, before the two were engulfed in awkwardness again. CJ wished someone would put him out of his misery right about now.
"We've, uh, gotta go," Matt butt in, and CJ felt relief flood through him. "Uh, I'll see you in class, Heather," he said with a polite smile.
Her lips quirked to a thin smile, "Yep, see you there." She hastily brushed past them and into the diner, while the boys headed outside.
CJ sagged with relief, letting out a loud huff as the awkwardness dissipated. "UGH," he groaned, loudly, receiving odd looks from the few passersby. "That was horrible," he complained to Matt.
Matt nodded, cringing in sympathy, "It wasn't great," he agreed.
"Why was it so awkward? We broke up months ago - you'd think it'd be fine by now, or at least cordial."
Matt snickered at him. "Cordial?"
CJ rolled his eyes with a small smile. "Okay, maybe not cordial, but just not . ." he struggled to find a suiting word.
"Completely cringe-inducing?"
CJ sighed, "Yeah." He cringed as he replayed the moment in his mind over and over again. "Ugh, let's go," he grumbled, beginning to walk down the sidewalk.
The pair walked to the bus stop, sitting on the bench and waiting for CJ's bus to arrive for school. His heart pounded as he thought about the Shakespeare test that he was taking first period. It was a huge percentage of his grade, and he took in a deep, shaky breath as the reality of it hit him.
"Wanna help me study really quick?" CJ asked, sending Matt a panicked look.
Matt frowned slightly. "Why are you so worked up? You're gonna do fine," he comforted. "You're, like, the smartest guy I know."
CJ forced a smile at the statement, but it did nothing to calm the nerves in his body, the clenching of his chest, or slow the rapid beating of his heart. "It's gonna be a really, really hard test, and I know I did well on the essay, but that doesn't mean I'll do well on the test, and who knows if I'll be able to get into Harvard, and my whole plan will be ruined, and -"
"Ceej," Matt cut him off, sharply. "Breathe," he instructed. "You're gonna be fine, alright?" He sent him a serious look.
CJ nodded as he caught Matt's eye. "Yeah, okay."
The bus soon pulled up, and CJ waved goodbye to Matt as he clambered on. He took a random seat towards the middle and set his bag down at his feet. While the bus rumbled down the road, he had the distant feeling that he was forgetting something . . .
Oh, shit, he thought, suddenly. Where the hell was Rory?
Guilt and worry bubbled in his stomach as he thought of his sister. She'd missed the bus. She never missed the bus. She was usually there at the stop ridiculously early, just in case. What had happened? And on the day of the big test? CJ chewed on his bottom lip as he thought of where she could be, if she was going to make it to the test in time.
After arriving in Hartford, he practically ran off the bus and to the nearest payphone, sliding in a quarter and dialing their phone number at lightning speed. The line trilled as CJ tapped his hand against the glass anxiously.
"Hello?" Lorelai's panicked voice answered the phone.
"Mom! Where the hell is Rory? She missed the bus."
"Yeah, no kidding," she replied, sounding tense. "She's on her way now. Where were you this morning? Why didn't you wake us up?"
CJ bit down on his lip harshly. How does he explain that he'd woken up in a panic and in a pool of his own sweat? That he'd left at 5 in the morning to get away and clear his head? "Uh, well, I left early this morning. You weren't supposed to be up yet," he explained, twirling the cord of the phone on his index finger.
"Left early? Ceej, you didn't go to sleep until almost one," she reprimanded. "Where did you go?"
CJ shrugged, despite knowing she couldn't see him. "I just went to Luke's with Matt," he explained. "Do you think Rory's gonna make it in time?" He asked, changing the subject pointedly.
"God, I hope so," Lorelai replied. "She can't miss this test; especially not after her essay."
CJ frowned. "I know. I'll try to talk to Mr. Medina and see what I can do."
"Thanks, kid. Good luck on your test, okay?"
"Okay, thanks, mom. Love you."
"Love you, too, kid."
CJ hung up the phone and sighed deeply. He hoped Rory would make it in time. He checked the watch on his wrist: 7:40am. He hurried into school, weaving in and out of the crowds of classmates and jogged to his locker. Shoving his books for the later classes of the day away, he ran a hand through his disheveled hair as he caught a glance of a certain brunette down the hall.
Marnie stood at her own locker, her lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed as she dug through it. Her long, brown hair cascaded down her back, and CJ felt a jolt in his stomach as she licked her lips and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Hey," a voice spoke from his right, and CJ practically jumped out of his skin. He whipped around to find his sister's jerk of an admirer standing beside him.
"Uh, what's up?" CJ asked, furrowing his brows, his heart still racing from the scare he'd given him.
"I don't think we've been properly introduced," the blonde spoke, confidently. "The name's Tristan Dugray."
"So, I've heard," CJ replied, dryly.
A smirk plastered itself on Tristan's face. "Oh, so Mary's talked about me, huh?"
CJ quirked an eyebrow at him. "Mary?"
"You know," he jutted his chin at him, "your sister."
CJ scoffed, "You mean Rory?"
"Mary, Rory - same thing."
"It's definitely not the same thing," CJ snapped. "And whatever game you're trying to play with my sister, it's not gonna work."
Tristan's smirk deepened, if that were even possible. "What game?" He asked, feigning innocence.
CJ rolled his eyes. "You know damn well what I'm talking about. Leave her alone, or, I don't know, if you want her to like you then maybe be less of an ass."
"Woah, who says I like her?"
CJ sent him a glare.
"Alright, I like her," he admitted quickly.
"Well, she kinda hates you," CJ said bluntly. "And I don't blame her."
Tristan actually frowned, much to CJ's surprise. "Well, what kinda things does she like? Music, movies?"
CJ rolled his eyes. "How about you learn her name, and then maybe she'll tell you that crap herself?" He slammed his locker shut and practically shoved past the blonde. "I gotta go." He checked his watch as he walked, increasing his speed as he saw it was only ten minutes until the test was set to start.
CJ burst through the door, catching the attention of the students who'd gotten to class early and were reviewing their notes. He quickly approached the teacher's desk, heart racing, and caught Mr. Medina's eyes.
"Uh, sir, my sister might be late," he began. "But you've gotta let her take the test. She and I have been studying for days and she's ready for the test and -"
"CJ," Mr. Medina stopped him with a gently raised hand. "If Rory is late, unfortunately she can't take the test," he explained, calmly.
CJ frowned deeply. "But - but she's only gonna be a few minutes late, and we've studied so hard. She doesn't deserve to miss it!"
"I'm sorry," Mr. Medina spoke with a matching frown. "But it's out of my hands; it's Chilton policy."
"But -"
"CJ, I'm sorry, but if Rory isn't here by 8:05 then she gets an incomplete on the test."
CJ's shoulders slumped, and he slowly trudged to his seat. He glanced at the clock on the wall as his leg began to jiggle incessantly. 7:55. She only had ten minutes to make it. He chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at the clock, other students trailing in and quickly spreading out their notes for some last minute studying.
8:00am. No Rory. CJ bit down on his lip harshly as his leg continued to shake.
8:03am. No Rory.
8:05am. The bell rang and CJ's heart sunk.
Still no Rory.
He cringed in sympathy for his twin. What was she gonna do now? She'd surely be failing after this. He couldn't help the guilt that bubbled in his stomach. If only he'd woken his twin up before he left. . . If only he hadn't been jolted awake in a panic, and had actually woken up at a regular time. . .
Mr. Medina began passing out the test as CJ kept checking the clock.
8:07. No Rory.
Sighing to himself, he shook his head and reminded himself he had to focus on his test. There was nothing he could do for Rory now, no matter how much the guilt of it gnawed at him.
He was already on question seven when the classroom door swiftly opened and a disheveled-looking Rory ran in, her eyes wide and chest heaving. Every head in the room turned to stare at her. Her shirt was untucked, her top buttons undone, and her socks were uneven lengths. She'd clearly gotten dressed in the car on the way here.
"I'm sorry," she said with a small smile, heading towards the back of the classroom to find an empty seat. Two class periods were combined into one this morning for the test, causing the room to be packed.
"Everyone back to your tests," Mr. Medina instructed, following Rory through the classroom. "Ms. Gilmore, you're going to have to wait in the library."
CJ cringed as he watched the scene unfold.
"But what about the test?" She asked, still trying to find an open seat.
"I'm afraid you've missed the test."
"No," Rory snapped, finally turning to face their teacher.
"We start class promptly at 8:05," Medina explained.
"No!"
"That's when I need people to be in their seats."
"Please," Rory begged.
"I'm sorry, it's the rules."
"But you don't understand!" Rory exclaimed. "I was up all night studying, and then I missed my bus, so I had to drive. . ."
"Let's discuss this outside," Mr. Medina tried, placing a gentle hand on Rory's shoulder to guide her.
She ignored him. "So, I'm driving down this road, and I stop and I get hit by a deer."
CJ sat up straighter at this. "You what?" He asked.
"Mr. Gilmore, there's no talking during the test," Mr. Medina reminded him, shaking his head. He turned back to Rory, "You hit a deer?"
"No, I got hit by a deer," Rory explained.
Mr. Medina chuckled a bit, tilting his head in disbelief.
"You don't believe me?" Rory practically snapped. "I've got antler prints on the side of my mother's car."
"Rory, come on," he said, shaking his head.
"No!" She almost yelled. "You have to let me take this test! I am ready for this test! I know everything there is to know about Shakespeare."
"Okay, okay, you need to calm down now," Mr. Medina spoke.
CJ shook his head, knowing the man just dug his own grave. You never tell a woman to calm down; how did he not know that?
"I know his birthdate, and his mother's name, and the kind of ink he used -" Rory rambled.
"Loser," CJ heard Paris say lowly to the blonde beside her - either Louise or Madeline, CJ wasn't sure which. He glared at her fiercely, but before he could even say anything - pinky promised be damned at this point - Rory whipped around and got into the girl's face.
"And just what is wrong with you, huh?" She snapped, glaring at her. CJ's eyes widened in shock. "You already have everything! You already have the grades and the status! What the hell is wrong with you that you have this constant need to be the biggest jerk in the entire world?"
"Okay, let's go," Mr. Medina said, gesturing for Rory to follow him.
"Huh? What's up?" Rory yelled, still invading Paris' personal space. "What's up, Quippy? Why so silent?"
"Rory," CJ interrupted, "don't." Despite how much he was enjoying seeing Rory put Paris in her place, he knew she was doing it at the completely wrong moment. In front of everyone, during a test, while embarrassing herself, was not the ideal time. He knew she would feel the brunt of the embarrassment later on, and knew he had to try and help his sister at least a bit today.
"And you!" Rory turned to him, glaring sharply. CJ's eyes widened in surprise, his mouth forming an 'o'. "How dare you get a B on the paper and be so perfect and talented - Mr. Skateboard Club Founder, Hockey player, good grades, jerk! How could you not wake me up this morning? And then I got hit by a deer, and you made it here on time with no problems! It's not fair!"
CJ's face flushed a deep red, and he could feel the heat rushing to it as all eyes in the classroom stared at him and his twin. He sank a bit lower in his seat at all the attention, but a hot flash of irritation ran through him at his sister's words.
"It's not my fault you slept in and don't know how to drive!" He shot back, sending her a glare of his own.
"Mr. and Ms. Gilmore - that's enough," Mr. Medina snapped, sternly.
He was ignored.
"The deer hit me; it wasn't my fault! And, besides, I'm not the one who failed their driver's test twice!"
"The curb moved! It definitely wasn't there before!"
"The curb can't move!"
"DEERS DON'T HIT CARS, CARS HIT DEERS!"
"WELL, I GUESS THIS DEER WAS FEELING SUICIDAL!"
"That is enough!" Mr. Medina yelled, cutting the twins off. They both went silent, glaring sharply at one another and breathing heavily from their arguing. CJ bit down on his bottom lip as he came to the realization that the entirety of the two class periods had been privy to that entire, incredibly childish, argument. He blushed fiercely, his face burning, as he realized Marnie was sat in her regular seat right beside him, watching him with widened eyes. "Both of you outside - now," Mr. Medina demanded.
CJ glanced down at his test, only seven questions filled in. "But - my test," he protested, quietly.
"You've disrupted the class severely; I'm removing you from the test," Mr. Medina spoke, firmly.
CJ sent a heinous glare at his sister as he snatched his backpack up from the floor. He shoved past her and began walking from the room.
"And, for the last time, the name is RORY!" Rory screamed at Tristan as the twins were escorted from class. CJ couldn't even be proud of his sister for that as he was too busy hating her guts, fuming, as he glared at the floor.
The twins sat side-by-side outside the principal's office. CJ's leg shook incessantly. He tried to will it to stop, but nerves jumbled inside him and his restless energy had to go somewhere. His jaw was clenched shut as he stared at his knees, pointedly ignoring his sister. He hadn't been this angry with her in years, not since they were ten and she'd told Lane that he'd peed his pants earlier that year - and Lane had told someone else, and the story had gotten out to the entire fourth grade. He'd been humiliated, and it was a similar feeling today. Only this time she'd ruined his chances of a successful future.
Forty minutes later, CJ heard the clicking of his mother's heels on the checkerboard floors before he saw her. She whipped around the corner, catching sight of the twins sitting miserably on the bench.
"Rory, CJ," she approached them, furrowing her brows with concern. "What happened?"
CJ sent his sister a sneer, "Ask her," he snapped.
Lorelai's eyes widened a bit, "Woah, cool it," she admonished. "What's going on?"
"I got hit by a deer," Rory stated, as if that explained the entire situation.
CJ rolled his eyes, huffing and shifting in his seat. "You did not," he grumbled beneath his breath, petulantly.
"I did, too!"
"You got what?" Lorelai asked, raising a brow.
"And then I was late, and they wouldn't let me take the test," Rory continued.
Lorelai gasped, taking a seat beside Rory on the bench, smushing CJ between the edge of the bench and his sister. "What?"
"They wouldn't let me take the test," Rory repeated.
"Oh, no, you're kidding," Lorelai spoke with concern. "But, wait, what does this have to do with CJ?"
CJ's jaw clenched as he thought about how his sister had dragged him into all this, successfully embarrassing him in front of half their grade, in front ofMarnie.
"I was defending her," CJ began, speaking through clenched teeth. "That was my first mistake," he added with a roll of his eyes.
Rory shot a glare at him, while their mother clearly misunderstood the situation. "Oh no, you two sit right here. I'll handle this," she promised, heading into the principal's office before either of the twins could finish the story.
The twins sat in silence for a moment, both staring at their feet as they waited, before Rory's eyebrows furrowed and her frown deepened. "This is all your fault," she complained.
CJ's eyes widened at her. "My fault?" He asked, jaw dropping. "How is any of this my fault?"
"Where were you this morning, huh?" She snapped. "We fell asleep at the kitchen table, and you didn't wake us up? You knew how important this test was for me!"
"And it wasn't important for me?" CJ shot back. He shook his head and let out an unamused snort. "I left early this morning, how the hell was I supposed to know that you were gonna wake up late? And why is it my job to wake you up?"
"You're my brother! We're supposed to help each other!"
"I did! As soon as I realized you were running late I practically begged Medina to let you take the test, but he said no! What was I supposed to do, use a jedi mind trick on him?" He let out a frustrated groan, running a hand through his hair. "And I was trying to help you in class!"
Rory went silent, staring at her shoes again.
CJ picked at the hem of his shirt, the tension between him and his sister palpable, and he chewed on his bottom lip to distract himself.
"I'm sorry," his sister muttered, still staring at her feet.
CJ glanced at her. He knew she was just so stressed and worried about everything, and that not being able to take the test had been the final straw. He sighed, running a hand down his face. "Thanks," he said simply.
"I shouldn't have said that in class," she added with a frown. "Not to you, at least."
CJ nodded. "It's alright, I get it. I'm sorry I left early; I really would've woken you up if I had been home."
"I know, I was just angry, and it wasn't fair to you -"
"It's okay, Ror."
The twins sat in a now more-comfortable silence, though the impending doom of the trouble they would be in still loomed overhead. CJ frowned as he thought about what could happen. Would they get detention? Kicked out of school? Their grades were sure to suffer, and his chest ached noticeably at the thought.
Their mother left the principal's office, her shoulders slumped with a frown etched on her face - a striking contrast to the stubborn, determined look she'd had going in. CJ's heart sank as she sunk down onto the bench beside them, staring off into space.
The meeting clearly had not gone well.
CJ wondered what this meant for them. Were they being asked to leave Chilton? Were they now flunking out? He gnawed on his bottom lip at all the worries, his leg continuing to shake rapidly.
"You got hit by a deer?" Lorelai asked, softly.
Eventually, the trio found the strength to stand and head for the car, trudging slowly through the school. CJ tossed his backpack into the backseat before rounding to the passenger side to see the damage caused. Two antler dents were etched clearly into the door, making CJ cringe as he saw them. His sister really wasn't kidding.
"Wow, you really did get hit by a deer," CJ remarked, shaking his head at how odd the situation was.
"I told you," Rory replied. "Can we go now?" She grumbled.
CJ hopped into the backseat while Rory slid into the front, and the trio drove off in silence.
"Quite a day, huh?" Lorelai broke the ice as she drove, eyes still firmly on the road.
"I don't wanna talk about it," said Rory, quietly.
CJ stared out the window, watching the thick bristle of trees whip past. He didn't feel much like talking about it either. It hadn't even been his fault. Sure, he shouldn't have engaged in a stupid, childish argument with his sister, but she had embarrassed him in front of everyone. He'd accepted her apology, but could still feel the stab of bitterness in his gut towards her and the entire situation.
"You know, I just think that we should talk about it all -" Lorelai was saying in a soft tone before Rory's frantic voice cut her off.
"Stop the car!"
CJ perked up at this, furrowing his brows as their mom pulled over on the side of the dirt road.
"Just feeling like an impromptu nature walk?" Lorelai quipped in confusion.
"I wanna see if it's alright," Rory spoke, as if that explained anything about why they were getting out of the car in the middle of nowhere.
CJ clambered out after his sister, "If what's alright?"
"The deer."
"Rory, how the hell are we gonna find that deer out here?" CJ called after her as she walked. Him and their mom swiftly followed, sharing a disbelieving look.
"I'm gonna try," Rory said with determination.
"If he really tried to off himself, he probably found another car to take him out," said CJ with a snort.
"So, what does the deer look like?" Lorelai asked as they jogged to catch up with Rory. "Does he have any distinguishing marks, besides the word 'Jeep' imprinted on his forehead?"
"He's just a deer," shrugged Rory.
CJ shook his head, but continued to walk alongside his mother and sister. They were never going to find this deer. And, even if they did spot a deer out here, there was no guarantee it was the same one who had tried to off himself earlier that morning.
"I had an interesting conversation with Headmaster Charleston," their mom said suddenly, sending Rory a look. "He said you went ballistic in class?" She tugged on her jacket, flipping her hair out from beneath it.
CJ snorted, "That's one way of putting it."
Rory sent him a sharp look.
"He also said the two of you got into a fight in front of everyone?" This time looking at CJ. The boy shrugged, suddenly very interested in the nature they walked past.
"We were just tired," Rory defended, shrugging at their mom.
That was definitely true, though more-so for CJ than his mother and sister knew. He was always tugged down with exhaustion, bags deep beneath his eyes, and patience running thinner than it would otherwise. He knew his sister wasn't used to the feeling, however, and that it had affected her more noticeably.
"Well, maybe you wouldn't have been so tired if you both hadn't been killing yourselves all week," their mom remarked.
CJ frowned. It definitely wasn't just school and all the studying that had kept him up. Actually, all the studying helped tire him out enough to let him pass out as soon as his head had hit the pillow. But he knew he couldn't say a word about this to them, especially his mom. She didn't need to know about how he was struggling to sleep, how he was jolted awake in a panic. He didn't even want to think about it himself, let alone talk about it and face it's reality.
"We were studying. We didn't have a choice," defended Rory, while CJ remained firmly silent. His mom could usually see through his lies; he wasn't going to say a word unless he had to.
"Well, maybe you guys shouldn't be studying that hard."
"What are you talking about?"
"You guys are sixteen," Lorelai sighed. Almost sixteen, CJ thought to himself. Their birthday was coming up in just a few weeks. "You should get some sleep, and eat a real meal, and come up for air once in awhile."
"Coming from the woman who only stocks the fridge with snacks and take out?" CJ asked with a raised brow.
Lorelai sent him a look, "You know what I mean."
Rory had stopped dead in her tracks. "They kicked us out," she stated.
CJ's heart jolted.
"No, they love you guys."
"I'm sure that's not true," he remarked. "Not after what happened today."
"Yes, after what happened today," Lorelai protested. "Just because you guys made one mistake doesn't mean they got rid of you."
"Are you saying we should quit?" Rory asked with a deep frown.
CJ looked up curiously at their mother, waiting for her thoughts.
"If you guys wanted to go back to your other school, with Lane and Matt, that would be fine with me."
CJ frowned. "You think we can't do it?"
"You know that's not true," said Lorelai firmly. "Of course you can, but at what cost? Look at what happened today. Rory, you went ballistic in class - you never do that sort of thing. And the two of you got into a fight, when was the last time that happened? If you two are doing these things because you're tired, or you're working too hard, then I'm worried about that. Because I have to be."
"I lost it once," emphasized Rory. "And Ceej and I fight about other things. Sure, it was maybe a bigger fight today, but it's fine!" She continued, desperately.
"Okay, fine," Lorelai said, simply, as the trio began walking again.
"Besides," CJ found himself saying. "We need this school to get into Harvard."
Lorelai frowned at his statement, causing CJ to scrunch his brows in confusion. Didn't she want them to go to Harvard? CJ could remember him and his sister prancing around, practically swimming in their Harvard sweatshirts when they were kids. Harvard has always been the plan.
Their mom grabbed their arms, pulling them to walk beside her. "It's just, I can't remember, you know, a time when we weren't talking about you guys going to Harvard," she explained as they trudged through the woods. "It was just a given; it was what we were working towards. Everything went in that direction."
"I know," said Rory, simply.
"It still is," CJ emphasized.
"And I'm forgetting," Lorelai continued, her brows furrowed in thought. "Where that all started."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about . . did it start with me? Or did it start with you two? Was it my dream that you guys went to Harvard?"
"Mom," Rory protested, shaking her head.
CJ, meanwhile, furrowed his own brows in thought. He didn't remember a time that they didn't desire Harvard - it had always been Harvard. . . but maybe it hadn't been their dream. Not at first, anyway. What six-year-olds pick out Harvard sweatshirts and learn to read from Harvard pamphlets? Sure, he and Rory had both always been a bit . . odd, but that had to have stemmed from somewhere. Biting down on his lip determinedly, CJ knew that it didn't matter either way. Whether it stemmed from their mom or their own desires, it was both of their dreams now.
"Harvard is our dream, Mom, no matter what," he spoke up with a serious look.
"But it doesn't have to be. If you're doing this for me -"
"We're not," the twins spoke in unison.
Lorelai blanched. "You know it's creepy when you guys do that." She shook her head. "But if Chilton and Harvard aren't going to make you guys happy, forget about them."
"We are happy, Mom," Rory defended.
"No, like, really happy. Like dancing through the woods,crazyhappy."
CJ quirked up an eyebrow at her. "If I'm ever dancing through the woods you need to have me committed," he quipped.
The girls rolled their eyes at him, though CJ could spot the traces of amusement.
"I was just behind," Rory explained. "I never caught up on all the reading. I can catch up - Iwillcatch up," she spoke with determination and a brightening grin. "And, when I do, everything will be fine."
"We'll work together - withbreaksthis time," CJ promised, and his sister nodded her head enthusiastically from beside him. "And there'll be no more freak outs or fights - probably," he added.
"Don't go promising things you can't do," their mom teased. "You're teenagers; I'm sure you're going to end up fighting more than you think."
Rory and CJ caught each others' eyes, crinkling their noses at one another. That just didn't seem plausible. They were twins, best friends (alongside their mom, of course), and it had always been them against the world. CJ couldn't even imagine a world where that wasn't true. He didn't want to even try.
The trio continued their search of the woods, eyes peeled for any sign of the infamous suicidal deer, before they called it quits and headed home. Rory sat in the backseat, disappointed at the lack of deer sightings, while CJ lounged in the passenger seat. His mind whirled over everything that had happened today and it was only - he glanced at his watch - 10:00am. That had to be a new record. While he and Rory had claimed that they would be successful at Chilton, the uneasiness churning in the pit of his stomach said otherwise. And if he couldn't do this? If he couldn't survive Chilton, then how the hell would he ever make it at Harvard? He frowned, running his hand up and down the leg of his pants as the worries scrambled through his mind.