Everything Has Changed Now

by chocozee27

Penelope Bridgerton is left alone in her marital home, feeling lonely. She discovers that she is with child, two days after she sent the queen and her mother in law letters of being Lady Whistledown. Penelope decided she would flee Mayfair for the sake and the happiness of her child. Will Colin be able to stop her from going when he finds out she is missing?

14. Starting over with faith and love

Chapter 14

Starting over with faith and love

After reconciling, Penelope and Colin move to a new chapter in their wedded life.

NOTES:

I know I have been quite tardy in this chapter but I travelled to an international country for the first time and it required preparation and I was so tired after returning.

I have made sure I wrote a quite lengthy chapter so you can enjoy and make up for the lateness.

ENJOY! Hope you like this Polin HEA ;)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back from the beach, they both felt replenished. It was already time for dinner and they were both hungry, the fresh air at the sea made them famished. Prior to getting ready to move to the dinner table, Colin proceeds to ask Pen where he should sleep or rather stay since they had not had the time to discuss the same earlier this evening in the rush to head to the beach to not miss the splendid sunset.

Hesitating and unsure whether she was ready to have him with her in her bedchamber, he chooses to respect her privacy even if they were reconciled and living together. He nervously knocks on her bedchamber door. Penelope had not yet changed her clothes and was herself considering meeting him.

"Colin! What are you doing outside and knocking? Surely you can come in at any time, do not hesitate!" Pen offering him a large smile made him feel undoubtedly welcomed as if it was his own home. "I was looking for you." Colin's voice sounded timid which alarmed Penelope slightly. She replies in the most reassuring tone. "What's the matter? Is everything alright?" She wants to ensure that Colin is feeling comfortable.

"I wanted to ask you, Pen. Ummm since we have not had the time to discuss it. Where should I…ummm…sleep…I mean… stay?" His expression conveys desperation awaiting an answer from her telling him to stay with her nonetheless he also appears confused as he was aware they had just reconciled. "Oh!" Penelope averts her gaze briefly. "I was just about to come to you for this, Colin." He stares at her confusedly, unable to predict her response.

Blinking her twinkling eyes and with a radiant smile, Pen confidently responds. "With me, of course." It then dawns on her that they never actually slept together as a couple. It was not possible before they got married and when they were finally spouses, they never shared a bed or even a room, he rather slept on the settee all the time.

Upon that realisation her smile faded and with Colin still staring at her without any response, Penelope lowers her gaze and adds with a quieter tone while fiddling with her fingers. "Oh. I…ummm…unless you want to sleep somewhere else of course. We do have another bedchamber, it's smaller but you will be…comfortable." She looks back at Colin as she utters the last word.

In her mind she is thinking of her husband to be more 'comfortable with her instead' so would she, however it was obviously not just her choice. Penelope studies Colin's expression as she awaits his reply.

Colin then slowly approaches her and subsequently takes her hands in his. "I want to be with you Pen, wherever you are, if you're fine with that. I will be comfortable where you are." Pen remarks that Colin's voice sounded soft and sincere, her lips curved in a smile as she responds, "This is what I have always wanted Colin, but since you never…" she then pauses before continuing, her smile fading. "I thought you would not want to because back there you…before, you…we never…" It felt painful for her to be able to continue her sentence, too hurt to say those words, too scared she might bring bad memories from their past, not wanting to break again what they had just mended.

She lowers her gaze, unable to look him in the eyes as she suddenly gets lost in the hurtful past they had endured. Unexpectedly Colin cuts her and responds. "I want to!"

By her hesitant words and expression, Colin understands precisely what she was referring to and presses her palms reassuringly as he responds softly. "Penelope Bridgerton, I love you. I love you with everything that I am and with everything that you are. I want to be with you, always, all the time, anywhere and everywhere." Colin sighs as he looks at her tenderly.

He cups her face and tears pool up in his eyes as he pursues in a warm tone "I am so so sorry for whatever I made you endure before. I know I have been selfish and too angry to realise how much you were suffering. Despite being married, we have never been together for one night and I have always left you alone. I am sorry. I wish to be by your side every night now until I breathe my last breath. God forbid I ever forget my promise but I will try to keep it as long as I live."

He then sighs and looks around before adding "I will be with you for every night of our lives even if it means I have to sleep on the floor beside you, my wife." Penelope's serious expression turns into a chuckle as he lets out the last statement. "Colin! Why will you ever have to sleep on the floor, do you take me for a cruel wife?"

They both share a laugh and Colin is glad to have cheered her up and restored her smile.

Colin jokingly adds with a tease, "I don't know. What would the infamous Lady Whistledown do with her husband who abandons her?" They both burst out laughing as Pen presses Colin's palms on her cheeks.

He then places a soft kiss on her forehead as she closes her eyes. He then speaks as his breath brushes her skin.

"I am hungry. Shall we eat now?" Pen gives him the 'obviously you are always hungry' look and replies. "Let's go, but…shall we get dressed first? I've been in those at the beach and would like something cleaner to eat in." Colin nods. "Alright, I will give you some time to get ready then I will bring in my stuff to get ready myself." Penelope responds with a warm smile and Colin thereafter leaves.

They both change and head to dinner.

A few minutes after they start setting the table Mary arrives with her son, John. Penelope is so delighted to see her good friend again and Mary is in turn thrilled to see Penelope finally reunited with her husband preparing to share a meal together. As soon as they enter the dining room Penelope embraces both of them, introducing little John to Colin who seems happy to meet the latter.

Since it was a reunion or more like a tiny celebration dinner, Penelope insisted that the maid joined them at the table. While serving himself, Colin eventually realises that Penelope had most of his favourite meals made. She had instructed the maid early that morning to do with the food she had available and to prepare Colin's favourites, those she could remember that he favoured.

As he scans the food prepared, he offers her a thankful smile making sure no one else noticed.

They were seated beside each other while John sat between Penelope and Mary.

As Mary is looking after her son, Penelope also tries to assist him in eating as much as she can. John is an obedient and good boy even if he would occasionally be as mischievous as other children of his age.

"So…have you finally decided to make my friend happy or are you intending to hurt her again?" Colin is astounded as he is about to take a morsel of food and looks across the table to perceive Mary sternly staring at him and he closes his mouth, puts back his morsel in his plate and with a sheepish smile replies. "Is that a threat?" Penelope is equally shocked as she looks back and forth between the two of them worried of things ending up wrongly.

Mary's stern expression then gradually turns neutral as she responds "It is not until you decide it to be, Mr Colin."

Colin struggles to think of a response and Mary then laughs which surprises him. "I have to admit, you are one good fellow Mr Colin. Someone else would have reacted differently."

Penelope offers Mary a soft smile and presses her hand before adding "Mary has been like a sister to me, Colin. You must forgive her if she is so direct as she cares for me. She has been ever since I moved here." Penelope then turns to Colin still with a smile, as she proudly says. "I told you that, remember?"

Mary then takes a sip of her drink and adds "I have been with Penelope since she arrived and I would not want to see her leaving with the wrong sort of people, surely you must understand that from my side." Colin nods as he also takes a sip of his drink, his throat dry from the sudden warning he just had.

"Of course! Of course! I totally understand you. I myself am thankful for having people like you by her side. In fact I intended to thank you personally for looking after my wife during my absence but never obtained the occasion to. And…well…here we are!" Colin puts his right hand on his heart and adds with a voice above a whisper "I sincerely and honestly thank you and your brother for being there for my beautiful wife…" as he glances over Penelope. "...for looking after her and making her feel less lonely when I could not be there for her myself. You have all my gratitude."

Mary then adds with a chuckle "Oh, don't mention it." She's smiling warmly now as she's used to and the tension around the table gradually disappears.

"Oh, yes! indeed! Of course I am aware." Though he is slightly a bit nervous of Mary's frankness, he was thankful that someone like her was with his Penelope. His wife had been in capable care and he was undoubtedly grateful for it.

When Mary asks Colin what he does he replies "Well, I write, and I am currently working on a novel and…I also support my wife with whatever she likes to do" glancing at Pen with a smile.

As Colin is speaking Pen stares at him with awe, listening to him intently with her whole face glowing. Mary notices her and smiles contentedly, happy to see that her best friend is finally happy.

After dinner they all take a seat on the settees in the drawing room except the maid who retreated right after dinner to relax and prepare for the following morning. John was asking about a travelling question to his mother when Colin stepped in to give him an accurate response, the two then proceeded together to the other side of the room in making boats with parchments as Colin was showing him the different types he could make while also replying to John's travelling curiosities.

Seeing them together brought a smile to both Mary and Penelope's face, particularly Penelope who saw Colin in a father figure for the first time.

As she watched both of them get along together and John looking up attentively to what Colin was showing or explaining him carefully, Penelope saw a glimpse of their future together and was convinced that Colin would certainly be one of the best fathers. When Mary was about to start speaking to Penelope, she noticed her friend's reverie and let her remain so until she herself got out.

When Penelope catches Mary watching her observing Colin with John with a smile, she immediately grins and Mary chuckles. "It will happen again and again, you know." Penelope is confused by what Mary is insinuating. "What do you mean?" She offers Pen a dim smile and adds "When you see the father of your future child with other children and dreaming of him with yours. It will happen until your own child sees the world."

Penelope smiles radiantly, her palm on her stomach. "Oh! I believe so Mary. It all still feels like a dream, you know." Mary nods. "I know. It will until you actually hold your baby in your arms." Mary presses her arms lightly with a warm smile.

Mary and John eventually departed with John embracing Colin tightly by the door with a radiant grin and thanking him for all the paper boats they made as he carried them along. Mary also thanked them both for the invitation, the food and their hospitality and left with a smile with Colin feeling more comfortable in her presence.

After bidding their guests goodbye, they both turned to each other smiling, both in their minds knowing that they were alone now and could spend time together.

Knowing that Colin would now be living with her and that she wouldn't have to wait for him to arrive or visit him in order to see him, Penelope was beaming at her husband.

Hand in hand, they happily proceeded to their bedchamber.

Colin shuts the door behind him as Penelope walks into the room. In the meanwhile, as Penelope is taking off her jewelry, he gets ready for bed and takes some clothing out of his still-packed baggage.

His eyes suddenly lays on Penelope and she also coincidently turns to look at him, finding Colin staring at her. Then, as Colin moves gently in her direction, she gradually smiles at him with every step he takes towards her.

When Colin reaches her, he responds with a warm and soft smile, their gazes remain locked for a while until Colin slowly bends down to place a soft kiss on her lips. As he begins, the kiss is soft at first then gradually becomes hot and blazing as he wraps his arms around her and she does the same.

Colin then tries to go further. However, Penelope feels Colin parting away and not resuming the kiss, she opens her eyes to see his eyes still closed with his brows furrowed as though in reflection.

He then looks at her, sighs and murmurs "I'm sorry, I know you said you weren't ready and…" but she swiftly grabs onto his shirt and starts unbuttoning it which makes Colin stop in his sentence as he glances between her and his shirt. Pen then lowers her eyes, blinks and looks back at Colin, her gaze conveying her desire then whispers "I have inquired about it and we can do it, if you would like to, of course. I…I want to."

Penelope studies Colin's eyes intently.

As she utters those words, Colin's eyes turn dark and letting out one big breath he immediately shifts his gaze to her lips and bends down swiftly to meet her lips, kissing her like crazy while cupping her face. A precipitating heat engulfed his body.

The realisation of being with his wife, the love of his life after yearning for her so much and for so long turned him on so profusely that he was unsure how to control himself with his flaming desire for her. Penelope in turn reflects on how long she had dreamed about this ever since they got married and how much she had craved her husband's touch on her skin or rather her whole body.

Neither could wait longer to be in each other's arms. They had already waited more than enough already.

They then make love, tender and slow but passionate and full of love.

After catching their breath by staying idle for a while, Colin then wraps his arms behind Pen grabbing on her shoulder as she also wraps one arm around his chest and rolls over slightly to place her head on his arm and placing a kiss on the side of his chin and neck earning a smile from him.

Penelope looks up at him taking in his features while playing with his chest hair as he continues to stare at the ceiling. She then just tells him in a soft but deep voice "I missed you." Colin immediately looks at her and perceives the honesty of her confession reflected in her sorrowful eyes as he also responds "I know. I missed you too, so much." Colin then places a kiss on her forehead and Penelope closes her eyes and lets it remain closed for a while appreciating his closeness until Colin speaks to her.

"Pen…this made me remember our conversation after our first time…" His voice is deep but low. "You should know, even if we have not been together for a while…well, since…ummm…since I was being too stubborn to speak to you." He then lets out a light laugh and Penelope smiles but still gazes at him attentively as she listens to what he is trying to convey.

Letting out a soft sigh he pursues, "I never…I did not lay with any other woman…" he then looks at Penelope with dejected eyes as he continues "...since you. There was no need or want for someone else even if I could or I was permitted to. Well, I'm telling you because I know you are aware I have been with other women before you and I could have been with them when you were not there these last few weeks but I want you to know I have not, I was just missing you."

Penelope could notice the twinkle in his eyes as he smiles at her again, convinced of his honesty she does not see any reason why to not believe him. Clearly how they just made love was so evident that he had also been yearning for her as she had been for him.

She then responds with a light reassuring voice. "Colin, I believe you." She then lightly caresses his cheeks with her thumb as she adds tenderly "Thank you for being you." She then pauses her movement and gazes at him affectionately in the eyes as she confesses with a rising emotion, suddenly feeling her heart beginning to race. "I love you." She then continues to caress his cheek with her thumb as tears start to well up in her eyes. "I love you so much Colin, never go away from me again, I will not be able to bear it this time. I love you." She then cups his cheek as if he'll slip away from her hands anytime as she stares at him despairingly, her eyebrows drawing up in the inner corners.

Colin places his palm on her hand to reassure her, his voice calm and soft "I will never leave you again Pen, I promise." He then places a kiss on her lips and resumes "The first time was already a very big mistake. If I leave you again this time, I'm certain I will die. I cannot imagine my life without you Pen and I am so glad our little family is growing, nothing else could make me happier." Penelope offers him a warm smile and he then positions himself faintly sitting with his head against the bed's headboard and wraps his arms to wholly embrace Pen in him as she slides one of her arms behind his back to reach for his shoulder to grab on, then resting her head on the crook of his neck with a feeling of comfort and blissfulness.

Wanting to thoroughly convince his wife, Colin resumes his justification "I did not get with other women only because I didn't want to but also because even if I did, I am certain it would never feel as it is with you. You are the only one who can make me feel…exceptional." They then share a brief laugh as Colin makes an ecstatic face with his last word.

"I know I have been seen as a rake in society for a while after returning back last season but you must know that this person was definitely not me at all. I am myself only when I am with you Pen. Only you." He then gives her the heartiest beam she could ever dream of.

He's then taking in her features with dreamy eyes but Penelope feels as though he was waiting for her response in turn and replies "Just so you know…since you are telling me, I have also not been with anyone else. I know you didn't ask but I wanted to let you know. I did not even look at anyone else until you came back. I have always loved only you ever since I loved someone and I cannot think of my life with anyone else except you, Colin."

Colin gives her a light smile and even if he was not doubting her at all he is glad she felt the need to reassure him and to let him know that she felt attracted to and had been with no one else. "I never doubted you Pen, not even for a second. Even if you did get with someone else too, I wouldn't blame you…though my heart would be crushed." he says jokingly.

He offers her a dim smile and Pen's eyes well with tears over his words as she moves her hand and cups his cheek. "Your heart will never be crushed as long as I will live, I promise, Colin. I promise." She then places a kiss on his lips then teases him a little and kisses his chin, his neck and keeps kissing his neck until he giggles and so does she.

Penelope gets back to her comfy position on his arm when Colin seems to be reflecting on something and replies "I must say though, that guy William is too much for you. I'm sure he is planning to get married to you." He then sniggers as Pen gives him a wide stare.

"William is like a brother to me, just like Mary is a sister. This is…this is why I did not invite him tonight, because I did not want you to feel uncomfortable." Colin gives her a startled expression. "Really?!" He then nods in appreciation with a proud expression. "I'm glad you did, I don't like him a bit…" He proceeds after receiving a severe glare from Penelope. "...though I am grateful for him to have helped you when you needed someone." She nods and adds nothing more seeing how Colin was being utterly jealous.

They remain silent for a while until Pen arises a question, her voice sounding quite serious.

"You…you promise you will never leave me, right? Or even not stay far away from me even if we are married?" Pen asks him almost painfully as she observes him. Colin's demeanour becomes serious as he realises what she had just asked, noticing the fear in her eyes and the worry in her tone. "Pen, I told you, I promise I will never leave you. Why are you asking me this, is everything alright?"

Pen blinks then replies quietly "Before leaving Mayfair, before…I was aware I was with child, I thought we would be living as the married couple who would each stay in their own bed chamber and meet only to make babies. I was scared we would be living like strangers." Colin realises how they had actually been living as though they were strangers as he recalls the past and feels remorseful that she had come up with such thoughts.

He presses his arms around her as if to reassure her of his words "Penelope, I promise, I am never leaving you again. If I ever get angry at you again or you do, I promise we shall try to resolve it together and in any ways other than being resentful and distant." Penelope slowly nods in agreement. "That will be perfect. We shall attempt to discuss it if anything is troubling us."

Colin then looks at her seriously as he says "I feel horrible you even thought about an annulment. I hope this never crosses your mind again and I will make sure it won't." Pen smiles at him and then cuddles back on his chest as she closes her eyes and inhales in his scent.

"Colin…" she says in a drowsy tone as she starts to feel sleepy and so was he as he responds. "Hmmmm?"

"Before you proposed, I had already made it up with myself that I would have to get married to someone else. It felt like…like…I was sacrificing you." She then opens her eyes as she reflects on the past recalling how she almost married Lord Debling and it was such a close marriage. Hearing her words made Colin surprised. "Pen…" He then gently caresses her back with one arm. "I'm so sorry, I never realised how much you were suffering because of my ignorance."

Penelope places a brief kiss on his chest and hugs him tighter "It's alright, Colin. At least now we are together, it's all that counts." Colin agrees. "Yes, of course." Then something crosses his mind. "Hmmmmm, I wonder how you would be as Mrs Debling" he teases her. "Colin!" Pen retorts him out loud. Up until now, that concept has only made her feel scared since she had felt as though losing Colin would mean losing everything.

He laughs teasingly as he kisses the top of her head.

"Were you jealous when you found out I was with other women?" Colin curiously peeks over her face to see her reaction as Pen remains silent. "Were you?" He asks teasingly. "According to you, Colin?" She gives him an 'obviously' look and Colin proudly smiles. "And you?" Pen asks in return and he then thinks before responding. "I did…I did with Debling but I did not realise it until he was with you all the time and glued to you as though you would soon fly away, like one of his birds."

Pen laughs at Colin's words and he is glad to have made her laugh. "And there was also this fellow." Pen stares at him curiously as she wonders who it might be knowing well there was only Debling who courted her. "This William with his flirtatious eyes trying to steal you away from me." Pen gazes at him with surprise and she replies calmly, persuading him of the contrary. "Colinnnnn…you know there's nothing between us, right? There never was and never will be either." Colin gives her a not reassured nod.

"My sleep has faded since we got to so many interesting topics." Pen says as she holds on to his chest closing her eyes, trying to fall asleep. "Oh, good then! Wait…interesting topics, do you mean William?" Pen doesn't reply and groans and Colin laughs lightly.

"I wish this would have been our wedding night if I was not being all moody and grumpy." Colin says and Penelope responds in her sleepy voice. "Yes I agree you were being grumpy but then you had your reasons, do not blame yourself for everything Colin. Let's forget the past."

He reflects for a while and hums in agreement realising that she was indeed right.

After a little period of quiet Pen assumes that Colin was getting drowsy and says sleepily "I think we should blow off the lights." Colin realises the candlelights were still burning as they had not prepared themselves for what was about to happen when they were getting ready to sleep. He then blows the one next to their bed and settles more comfortably beside Pen by lying down completely.

Her eyes still closed with her head on his chest, she confesses giddily "I cannot believe that I am going to be a mother." Colin grins and replies "And you're going to be a good mother too, I am sure of it." With a grin, Penelope adds "You're going to be the best father also, Colin, and I already witnessed this tonight." She then presses a soft kiss on his chest and settles down comfortably again. Colin frowns as he reflects on her statement and remembers his time with John and smiles. He did not notice she was observing him, too engrossed in having fun with the little boy.

He hopes he will enjoy it as much with their child, whether it was a son or a daughter. He presses a warm kiss on the top of her head after which they both finally fall asleep, wrapped warmly around each other's arms.

The sunlight was barely in the room when Colin woke up from his deep sleep. He slowly opens his eyes and as Penelope moves beside him, the occurrence of the previous night slowly dawns on him. All that transpired seemed like a dream until he sees that his wife is actually there with him, her hands still wrapping over his chest as she was deep asleep.

Colin smiles with a warmth in his heart and approaches her very slowly to not break her sleep and places a small soft kiss on her forehead. He then caresses her hair softly while he thinks about how everything was wonderful, everything except that they were not in Mayfair.

He knows he's so happy to be with her again but realises that he would not be able to live without his mother and siblings nor would she. Even if her sisters and mother were unpleasant towards her, she loved having a family and he knows that Pen would love to be around his siblings as well and they would love the opportunity to shower their love on her.

He did not want to pressurise her though and decided that he would wait until she felt ready to go.

Not a few minutes after he hears Penelope groaning in her sleep, shifting on her back.

Her head was buried deep in her pillow. He smirks proudly at his beautiful wife, laying lazily beside him.

When she wakes up in her sleep even before opening her eyes Penelope could already tell Colin was beside her. As she moves her hand she feels Colin's chest, his warmth. She can also smell his scent next to her with his touch on her hair. Penelope smiles languidly and Colin could tell she was already awake as he's watching her.

"Good morning" he murmurs as he keeps caressing her hair, Penelope replies while opening her eyes, still smiling. "Good morning." The view she obtained was incomparable and unique to the one she had for the last few weeks' mornings waking up alone in her bed and wishing all that she was living was a dream.

Given that it was his first night at her house she asks, her tone sleepy "Did you sleep well?"

"I did! In fact, I cannot remember the last time I slept so well. Truly." he replies, also in a drowsy tone

"Hmmmm…I am glad you were comfortable since it was your first night here." Penelope smiles at him and shuts her eyes to obtain a few more minutes of sleep before waking up completely.

Perceiving that she desired a few more minutes to sleep, Colin proceeds to get dressed. Pen awakens after a few minutes, and Colin helps her get dressed before heading downstairs for breakfast. Just as she passes the drawing room on her way downstairs, she feels a bit nauseous. Colin becomes very worried and immediately seats her down on the settee.

"Pen! What's happening, are you alright?" Seeing her feel this queasy for the first time worries him so much yet Pen is so composed.

"Colin, don't worry, this is normal. I am used to it now, I get this almost every morning. I just have to sit down for a while and it will be gone by itself, well…unless I might also need to empty my stomach." Colin is sad seeing how she had been alone all this time experiencing everything all by herself.

He kneels before her and gives her a concerned gaze and asks carefully "Is this due to your being with…?" Penelope nods and Colin takes her hand in his. "I am sorry Pen, that you had to endure all of this by yourself. I wish I had been there with you. Don't worry, I will be here now. You do not have to be alone anymore now." He gives her a reassuring expression.

Unable to respond promptly, Penelope closes her eyes and breathes deeply for a while before responding as Colin attentively observes her attempts to feel better. She then opens her eyes and slowly tells him through her measured breathing. "I already had this since before I left Mayfair. If you had looked closely at me after our marriage you would have noticed."

She then smiles faintly "I am not blaming you, I just want to let you know since when they began. After all you are the father, you have to know since when our child has been announcing his presence." Her smile then widens as she cups Colin's face with the other hand. "Thank you for being here Colin. It truly means a lot to me." Colin gives her an 'of course I will always be there' smile, sighs and kisses her palm.

"I am grateful to be married to someone like you Pen, you truly are unique. You escaped Mayfair after finding out you are with child because you thought it would enhance my thought of you entrapping me instead of remaining with me and actually 'entrapping' me. You chose to live all by yourself in an unknown country among unknown people rather than ruining life for me…" He downcast his gaze, bending his head and adds with a lower tone "...you chose to ruin yourself instead…"

Colin then looks aside as he remembers how Marina had actually entrapped him with a child that was not his and how he had wrongly accused Penelope of the same when she was absolutely the contrary of what Marina was.

In an attempt to comfort him with her reassuring voice, Penelope cups his face with both hands.

"Colin. The past is in the past. Please, let's not discuss the negative events that occurred, let's plan for our future instead." She put his palm on her stomach "Let's make plans for our future with you and me and our child. Alright?" Colin nods and smiles at her.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asks curiously as he studies her face. Penelope exhales deeply and replies "Not quite, my stomach is becoming a bit upset now. Could you please call our maid? I might need to throw up a bit before having breakfast." She then glances at Colin who is looking very worried. "Don't worry, this is totally normal. The physician already informed me of the same and after a while you will also get used to it." Colin nods and rushes to get the maid.

Pen eventually got better after a while and they both had their breakfast. She had some light vegetable soup and a herbal tea the maid had prepared to help her nausea calm down. When they return to their bedchamber after breakfast for Penelope to rest, she watches as Colin is searching vigorously through his stuff while she is lying down.

After a while Colin comes and sits beside her on the bed then hands her a bunch of parchments. "Pen, all the while ever since you left, ever since I realised you were gone and I was missing you, I have been writing you letters. Letters of when I missed you, of when I obtained clues of your whereabouts and even when I had already met you and I was happy and hopeful of having you in my life again."

Pen gives him a flattering glance as he tells her this and she offers him a thankful smile while accepting the letters and he places a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Colin. This is so lovely and thoughtful. I never knew my husband was such a romantic. Thank you so much for this." As she takes the letters she then adds "but you should know that your wife is also a romantic and…" She gets off the bed as Colin puzzledly watches her and she opens a drawer of a desk at the end corner of the chamber, retrieves a bunch of parchments which she then hands over to who gives her a befuddled look.

"I also wrote you letters when you weren't there, or more likely my thoughts for when I missed you, when I wanted you by my side or when you were back and I honestly wished you were actually back in my life. I never actually thought of ever giving them to you as I believed we would never meet again but…here you are." Pen gives him a light smile.

Colin surprisingly takes the letters as he looks at them in astonishment and turns to give Penelope a proud smile, delighted that she was his wife because their thoughts and actions were so alike.

Penelope sits back on the bed beside Colin and they both start reading the recently obtained letters. Penelope is smiling as she reads the sweet words Colin had written. Colin opens one of her letters and reads it:

It has already been a few days since I left Mayfair and I left you and I am now staying in this hotel. It's the first time I am travelling so far away and I am all by myself. I am not scared but I just miss you terribly, Colin. How I wish you were by my side on my first journey and travelling with our baby in my womb. I don't know where I will stay and how it is going to be but I am sure it will be nothing like when you were by my side.

There has not been a minute since I stopped thinking about you and how I wish it was the same for you. I wish things would have been different but I cannot change who I am. I am Lady Whistledown whether I am your wife or not and clearly you have stopped loving me ever since you found out. I just hope you are happy wherever you are and that you are keeping yourself well, there is nothing more I wish for you.

I have been a bit sick since I am with child and I have been taking temporary breaks but today I am staying over and the maid has suggested so since it would be better for my condition. It is the middle of the night and I just woke up unable to sleep, unable to stop thinking of you, unable to process the fact that I'll have to live my whole life without the support of my husband by my side, the one who I love so dearly.

All I did was for your happiness and I hope you forget me soon and find someone you would be happier with. I wonder if you already applied for the annulment as I suggested. I hope you no longer think that I wanted to entrap you and I am glad you did not find out I was with child and felt forced to stay with me nor did I want our child to be in an unhappy family. I believe it is the best for all of us. I hope I am right and I made the right decision.

It's the full moon tonight and it made me remember our first kiss. That night had been very special for me, I cannot forget how you acquiesced to my request and gave me what I desired. For me it was a farewell kiss but when afterwards you told me it was also special for you my heart leaped out of my chest. I was so happy when you told me that you also had the same feelings you have for me as I have for you.

Alas you do not love me as much as I love you otherwise you would have tried to understand me. I agree being Lady Whistledown and concealing that truth from you was so wrong of me but it was the only thing that would help me when I was feeling utterly alone. I wish you could see that from my perspective. Now that our child will come into this world, I am glad I will have someone I can shower my love upon and hopefully they love me back the same.

I don't know if we will ever meet again but I just hope you are happy wherever you are and I am able to live without you even if I am sure it will take some time or perhaps never. I'll try to sleep now before your son or daughter makes me sick again, not that I am complaining but I need to resume my travel tomorrow. I hope the new place has friendly people that helps me to forget you even if I am certain I'll never be able to.

As Penelope is Colin's letter when he had a nightmare with the thought of losing her forever, a tear drops on her cheek and with her eyes still on the letter she leans her head over Colin's shoulders. She feels her heart rip apart for what they had both been through. Feeling him and his presence beside her gave her a sense of comfort.

He had still been reading her first letter and was deadly concentrated.

Colin sighs loudly as he closes Pen's first letter realising how much Penelope had been suffering on her own and glances at his wife, her head resting on his shoulder and totally focused on his own letter. He would read the other letters later; for now, he could only bear so much.

He wraps her arm around her shoulders and cups her head in his palm and brings her head closer to his lips as he plants a soft kiss, feeling thankful to have her by his side. As he places his chin on the top of her head to peek over the letter he had written that she was reading while slowly caressing her hair, he loses himself in his thoughts about how life had been so hard to them for the last weeks seemingly testing them, their patience, their relationship and mostly, their love.

After some letters from her husband and a few drops of tears, Penelope turns and looks at Colin and notices that he is staring back at her ,his eyes also filled with tears and some drops on his cheeks are already drying. They share a common gaze, one of understanding of how challenging their lives had recently been, feeling lonely, desperate and lost without each other.

While still gazing at each other, they slowly approach their faces and meet their lips in a sweet tender kiss. It was a kiss of gratitude, a kiss of comfort and safety, a message of understanding and unequivocally pure love.

As they slowly part away their lips, Colin caresses Pen's hair and says, his voice low and soft "I took so much time to realise that Lady Whistledown and you, my wife were the same and one person. I wish I would have realised sooner then all of this would never have happened…" He sighs as he pursues "...you would never have suffered so much alone."

As she responds, Penelope gives him a sorrowful look. "Do not regret anything Colin. What had to happen has already happened. In fact, perhaps this has helped us to know how much we mean to each other. It has shown me how much I cannot live without you and the more time we spend together the more I love you."

Colin gives her a sheepish smile. "You love me even more now? Really? Why is that?" His voice is low but teasing with a cheeky smile.

Penelope nods calmly as she responds in a tone mix with softness and conviction as Colin is attentive. "Yes…I love you more for not giving up on me, I love you more for trusting in my love, I love you more for giving me the chance to be a mother, I love you more for being my friend, I love you more for supporting me as a husband. There's too many reasons. If I tell you all, we'll never be able to get off this bed."

Colin gives her a warm smile and replies "It's a good thing." Penelope gives a startled expression. "What is?" Then Colin cups her chin and brings her face closer to his whispering "Never getting off this bed." He then kisses her hot and passionately. Penelope returns the kiss with the safe fervour.

As they kiss she cups his face. He then cups her face as he kisses her deeper. He places a kiss on her forehead whispering "I love you" softly.

Colin reminisces about Mayfair while cuddling, and he wishes Penelope were with him there to inform all of their family the good and proud news of them becoming future parents and to have Penelope doted on by everyone, mostly his mother who loved her so much.

He hesitates but takes a huge breath before raising the matter. "Pen…I…I've been thinking…I…" and just then they both hear the door of the bedchamber being knocked.

Penelope responds "Yes!" and Colin proceeds to open the door.

It's the maid. "I profoundly apologise for disturbing Sir, but there is a letter for Mrs Bridgerton and the delivery said it was quite urgent." Colin immediately hands it over to Pen after thanking the maid.

Pen quickly opens it after realising it came from the press she was working part time for. "Oh, it's the press and they urgently requested me for another article to be delivered by tomorrow itself. It's so little time and I have to start working on them forthwith."

"You know you do not need to work, right? I can look after you and mostly now that you will be in a delicate condition but…if it's what makes you happy. It's only writing, it cannot be so harmful and straining." Colin says, looking curiously at Pen awaiting a response on her side, somewhat hopeful he has convinced her but ready to accept any decision she will take.

Pen smiles at him. "Don't worry Colin, I will be able to manage. It's exactly like you said. It makes me happy and it is not hard work. When I feel it is too much I will stop, alright?" Colin nods feeling fairly relieved but also realising that since she will be working on her article, he will not be able to discuss the Mayfair topic so as not to disturb her mind. He will discuss that later on.

Colin then proceeds to a desk in the corner as Pen asks him "Colin, you were about to tell me something before the maid came." Colin then stops in his tracks as he responds and slowly turns to face her, still deciding whether he should or not. "Yes, actually it is not important now. Don't worry. We'll talk about it later. You can go work on your article."

Pen nods even if she's albeit a little concerned about what the matter could be, but she doesn't press the issue because she indeed has very limited time for her work.

She rests for a while when Colin is writing on his desk then decides to get up and approaches to see what he's doing. "What are you writing, is it your novel?"

"No, I am writing to the family. It's been very long since I have provided them with any updates. I want to ease their worry by informing them that I have met you and that…we're together." Colin takes her hand and kisses it with a smile and returns back to his pen.

Penelope smiles at him then replies with a worried look "Are you…ummm…going to inform them about my being with child too?" Colin turns to face her again wearing a doubtful expression "No, not yet. I had thought of telling them when you are ready. I actually wanted us to announce them together…in person…but, do you want me to tell them already?"

Penelope thinks for a while as Colin studies her face. "Don't tell them anything yet, I'll let you know when we can inform them, if it's alright for you as well?" Colin nods and presses her hand "I am fine with whatever you want, we're going to do it your way, Pen." Penelope smiles and he resumes his writing. She then places a kiss on his temple earning a bashful smile from him then leaves the room to proceed to her study to work on her article.

Two days later, both head to the market to buy some baby stuff. One or two pieces of clothes and perhaps even a mini blanket for the little one. Colin was unsure if Penelope would deliver their baby in Scotland itself or if they would already be back in Mayfair but still participated to go shopping.

Penelope had herself thought about Mayfair quite a few times ever since reconciling with Colin. She was indecisive of returning as she felt so safe and comfortable with Colin with her in Scotland and anxious whether things would go all muddy once they returned back since she had already confessed everything to the Queen.

Despite wanting to ask Colin she chose to not raise the topic for now, she preferred to remain happy for a while before all the Lady Whistledown issues came drowning her once more. After all that she has endured, she wished to well-prepared before encountering another dilemma.

While at the market, Pen temporarily leaves Colin while she's looking at the new fabrics on the opposite side. Just then a lady who seems to be a maiden approaches Colin and strikes up a conversation with him asking his name and whether he was new there etc, and kept on talking even if Colin seemed to keep cutting off the discussion.

Just when he's bidding her goodbye Pen notices the scene with the lady buzzing around Colin and gets instantly jealous. She then comes to his side immediately and intervenes with a quite serious and loud tone. "Is there anything you need with my husband?" accentuating her last word and taking his hand swiftly in hers while pulling him towards her, her gaze deep and intense.

Colin smiles at that gesture and is delighted to witness her possessiveness and jealousy.

The lady appears offended and embarrassed he is a married man and immediately departs without replying.

Colin grins boastfully as he tells his wife. "You know I will never leave you, right?" Pen gives him a serious look before glaring over the lady who is walking away. "I know but they don't." Colin gives him a joyful smile, and Pen returns the same when she looks back at him.

That night after dinner, they both sat comfortably in the drawing room to catch on their shopping supplies, not having had the time after returning back home. Penelope smiles happily when she looks at the small tiny clothes her baby would soon wear. Colin feels emotional realising that he would soon have someone to call him 'Father.'

As they are looking at the stuff of their very near future, Colin thinks it's the ideal time to raise the matter of going back to Mayfair. Even if he wouldn't press her, it was not harmful to just mention it, right? He put down a wooden toy they had both chosen on his lap and turns to face her.

"Pen, I was…uhh…I wanted to discuss with you about the matter I had wished to say the other day." Pen looks at him still smiling as she leans back against the settee all keen to listen to him. "Yes, I recall. What did you wish to tell me?"

Colin gazes at her seriously making sure to use the right words and not hurt her. "I…ummm, you must know that I am asking for your opinion and not forcing anything on you but…have you considered returning to Mayfair, now that things are back on track? With us, me and you, well I mean…I…I know you have settled here but back in Mayfair there's your family, my family, the place where you grew up and spent all your childhood." His lips curve into a smile. "I am not saying that we cannot stay here but you know, it would be better for us to live where we grew up, where we met, where we became friends, where we fell in love and most of all where we got married. What do you say?"

Colin closely examines her to observe her reaction.

Listening to him attentively, Penelope replies with a slow nod, her gaze distant and her expression serious. "I know and you're completely right, Colin. I myself have pondered over this the last few days in fact and I was puzzled about what to do. I wished to stay here for a while to clear my head but…I had also desired to be back to the place we met for the first time, where we kissed for the first time and…" she turns to Colin, her face lighting up and smiling "...where we shared our wedding vows."

She continues with a warmth in her voice "It is also where we have our family. I miss my family, even if I did not get along with them much. Also, I would hate to keep you away from your family for so long." Colin is taken aback by her response as he listens to her intently. "I didn't have that planned for you. I had escaped with the expectation that you would remain there but now it pains me to realise that I know you have stayed away from them as long as I did."

Colin smiles proudly at his wife recognising her constant maturity and understanding who's agreeing to return even if it took her so much effort to settle here, in Scotland. "I want to go back as well, Colin. I appreciate you considering my opinion on that." She squeezes his hand with a smile.

She places her other hand on her stomach. "I also wish for our son or daughter to grow up where we did and to receive all the love of both our families. However, I don't think we should tell them when the baby is due because they might figure everything out." she adds with a blushing smile and Colin smiles as he responds. "Yes, you are right, we should not tell them that."

Pen's expression then suddenly turns into a worry. "There is one problem though"

A light frown creases his brow as he looks at her curiously. "What?"

She looks at him and answers "About the same matter that kept us so far away…my being Lady Whistledown." Pen scans Colin's face to check whether the topic was bothering him. "I did not discuss this with you yet and I did not want to address that subject to avoid ruining everything again but…" Colin shakes his head and grabs her hand, pressing it to reassure his wife "Pen, nothing can ever get between us, never again. You can tell me anything."

Penelope nods and inhales deeply before pursuing.

"You are already aware as I mentioned in my letter to you that…I had written the queen a letter before leaving Mayfair confessing everything about my identity and it's mainly because I wanted to be honest about everything with everyone. It was also in the hope she would inform the ton about me and it would be done once and for all so that there would be no repercussions for your family and…secondly I had no intention of going back and so I thought it might be a farewell gift from me as well." She faintly smiles, her eyes reflecting the pain as she recalls that dilemma.

Penelope also adds "I did not only inform her about my being LW but also about my upcoming child into thinking as a woman she might understand the drastic decision I had to take while begging her to let that particular information remain anonymous but…"

She sighs and continues, shaking her head "I don't know how everyone has taken it by now. You're also aware, I had been totally ready to confess everything before her and the ton at my sister's ball which would have occurred that week but then I…then when I found out about…and I…" Penelope bends her head as she recalls her traumatic experience.

Colin smiles and replies confidently. "Then there is no problem at all."

Pen lifts her head and looks at him confusingly. "What do you mean?"

"When I came to look for you, I was with Benedict and since I was unable to concentrate on anything well, he was the one to send the family our news and read them back. Well, when I received news of him after I stayed at the hotel here, he informed me that the queen had published news about you being Lady whistledown and she had mentioned in her statement that she holds no grudge against you if you promise to be less damaging with your columns."

Pen listens to him attentively while maintaining a worrisome expression. "I do not know the consequence it had on the ton but if the queen has forgiven you and she is even letting you write again then I don't think anyone else has anything they can say or do unless perhaps only…hold a grudge against you, nothing more."

With his last word, Penelope felt a shudder of fear overwhelm her. Fear of not being accepted by the ton or even their own family.

"Oh Colin!" Penelope suddenly bawls in a shaking voice as tears well up in her eyes and she presses Colin's hands.

Colin is panicked to witness her abruptly breaking down. He tries to instantly calm her down, with a soothing tone. "Pen, don't worry, everything is going to be alright." Penelope however is unable to stop her emotions from flowing through. Tears start rolling over her cheeks, flowing down like a river escaping a dam as her eyes quickly become crimson.

Seeing her rising agitation, Colin quickly takes her in his arms as she rested her face on his chest while he held her head, consoling her. "Everything will be alright, please don't cry."

In a shivering voice she replies, tears spilling non-stop "Colin…what if they do not want me back, what if my family and your family do not want to see me again, or what if they do not want to see you again because you are married to the cruel Lady Whistledown." Colin shushes her as she continues to cry. "I am sure you are thinking way too much, Pen. I don't think they would be that cruel to us. Don't worry it will all be fine."

Pen disagrees, shaking her head and looks at Colin with desperately widened eyes as two drops of warm tears fall down their cheeks "What if it's true, what if they all hate me now?" She then lowers her gaze as she adds shakily "I am so horrible, I am a terrible woman Colin, I wrote mean things about everyone, about my family, your family, even about you."

Unable to comprehend how she quickly got so emotional and delusional about the matter he quickly cups her face and shifts her gaze towards his. With eyes full of regrets she asks, as though pleading "Do you forgive me?" panting as her chest is rising and falling with every breath as she whimpers with an echo of hiccups.

Colin shakes his head slowly as he wipes away her tears with his thumbs. "There is nothing to forgive Pen, I do not hold anything against you. There is no grudge, there is no horrible woman, there is only one very clever and brave woman who I know everyone will be so happy to see back." He gulps and continues "If you aren't sure about this we do not have to make any decision now, we can take our time to go back, alright?"

He gazes in the eyes tenderly as she nods through her tears and he places her head back on his chest to console her as she brings her arms behind him, wrapping them on his back tightly. She continues to cry in his chest inconsolably for a moment while Colin caresses her hair steadily until they stop hearing her whimpering sound.

They remain like this for a while, Penelope feeling utterly safe in Colin's comfort.

Then after a moment Colin proceeds to ask her in a whisper "Are you alright?"

Pen detaches herself from him and nods, her face now less crimson, similar to her eyes as she appears somewhat relieved of a very big pain. "I'll inform the maid to draw you a bath so you can feel better and fresh, is it good?" Penelope nods as she gulps, her throat dry with all the crying. "Yes, that will be great."

"Can I go now? I will just inform her quickly and be back, will you be alright?" Penelope nods and Colin offers her a tender smile and kisses her forehead before going downstairs. The maid had not yet gone to sleep and Colin offered his apology for disturbing her so late but she immediately agreed to help for a bath for Pen.

After helping her take her bath, the maid dresses her in fresh clothes and leaves her bedchamber bidding them both goodnight as Colin arrives to check on her. "Are you fine now, Pen? Do you need something?"

Pen turns to look at him "No, I am fine." Colin approaches her with a concerned expression. Pen gives him a faint smile and noticing at his worried face she widens her smile. "Colin, there's something I have to confess." Her smile made him bewildered, wondering where her previous dejectedness disappeared even if he was relieved it did. "What is it?" his eyes gazing at her questionably.

Her gaze flickers up to his, a hint of embarrassment colouring them "The little break down I just had some moments earlier in the drawing room is due to me being with child. It made me cry for nothing." She increases her tone, feeling less abashed. "It's not the first time it happened actually and it has been increasing even more with time. I had already talked with the physician and he says it's normal."

Colin is looking at her with surprise as she adds with a little bit of shame "Apparently it will last until I deliver our child." Then she makes a 'sorry for this' motion. Colin smiles at her, his lips pursed and his face clearly displaying 'No way!' as he lifts his eyebrows.

"Really?" His tone reflects his surprise and seems to include some nervousness as well. Pen gives him an apologetic smile and she cups his cheek to console him and Colin resumes "Oh, it is no worry, as long as you are healthy."

He then sighs "Well, you did frighten me over there Pen. I was worried how I would get you out of this sorrow but I am glad it is nothing serious." Pen then laughs softly as Colin wraps his arms around her for a hug and Penelope leans in and hugs him back.

"Are you still willing to return back to Mayfair then? Or do you still want to think it over?" Colin asks to confirm.

"Yes, I want to return. Even if I was somewhat truly scared of what the ton and our family might think of me, I am still ready to risk it all. As long as you are with me, I am sure I will be fine." Colin keeps caressing her hair as he responds. "Always. I will never leave your side, I promise." He then gently kisses the top of her head.

"Shall we go to bed? You need to sleep well now, Pen." Pen agrees and Colin helps her to get into bed and so does he after a while. They cuddled and slept; they had been both tired at the market that day so they slept as soon as they positioned themselves comfortably on the bed.

The following day early in the morning while they were having breakfast Mary came to request Penelope whether she could drop off John who had no school since she had to go to work and her child caretaker had fallen sick and William would further not be available to look after him. Without giving it much thought Pen forthwith agrees.

An hour later, Mary comes to drop John who seemed quite happy to be spending the day with them.

Colin and her then spend some time with John showing him even more shapes he could do with his ton of parchments he brought to learn from Colin. This time Penelope participates as well. They are all seated on the settee in their drawing room as three kids laughing and giggling all along. After a while, the maid arrived with some almond biscuits which Pen had requested for John and obviously Colin, very much aware of his large appetite.

While they are playing and laughing together with John, Pen and Colin gaze at each other, sharing a common feeling that they both can't wait to spend time with their own child like that.

After a lot of mess and laughter, Mary shows up in the late afternoon to pick up John, who was not so eager to return back after so much fun. Gladly for Mary he was an obedient kid being the amazing mother that she was.

She kept thanking them and Penelope took this chance to inform her of her departure. She and Colin had already decided on a day to leave as Colin had written back again to his mother to inform them of their arrival in case the family would leave for the country, while keeping the good news to themselves and deciding to announce it upon their arrival in Mayfair.

Colin took John aside while Pen conversed with Mary.

Mary's staring at her in confusion and worry as they sit in Pen's drawing room. "I have something to confess Mary. As you know I had come to this foreign country just to settle far away from Colin after our huge conflict but now that everything is fine between us, we have decided to go back."

Her voice is shaking as she announces that knowing she will soon have to depart from her best friend and, also aware that Mary will be dejected to hear of her departure. "Oh, Penelope." Mary's eyes well up with tears as she presses Pen's hand. "I am so happy for you that you ultimately will have your home and your family with your husband but dearest I will miss you terribly here."

Pen places her palm on Mary to console her "I know, I will miss you more Mary. You were like a sister to me when I mostly needed one. You were such a good friend and neighbour, I will never forget you." Mary leans and hugs Penelope dearly. "Just know that I will always be here for you in case you ever decide to visit Penelope, and do give me your address, I will certainly write to you."

Pen is equally crying with Mary, nodding "Yes, of course. We have to keep in touch. I want to tell you all about the baby when I deliver, you have been so helpful to me, it is only fair you get to know of his or her arrival. I will miss you terribly, Mary." They both get up and have one last hug before Mary leaves.

"I hope I will be able to meet you the day you go but I am just saying my goodbyes for now in case I am unable to." Pen nods in understanding and adds "Can you please inform William for me and do thank him a lot for all the help." Pen then lowers her voice to a whisper "I wanted to tell him but Colin is a bit jealous of him that is why I prefer to stay away from him for a while, I hope he is not angry."

Mary then laughs softly and agrees. "I understand. I will tell him, don't worry. Also, I am sure he will not mind. Husbands can be too jealous sometimes but it is how we know they love us, right?" Penelope grins with a nod.

Mary then leaves along with John who kept waving them goodbye until he was out of sight.

Penelope had already started packing her stuff, feeling emotional while looking around the house and the moment she spent there. Even though it was comforting to have a house to settle in at that time, she spent more time there in sadness and healing in Colin's memories until his arrival which then made it special. She tried to keep only the good memories in her mind and was completely ready to return to her home, the home she and Colin were slowly building.

They had already gathered all their stuff and Pen had even informed her employer and the house proprietor when she would be leaving without revealing to Colin that it was Genevieve who helped her obtain the house, mentioning it was a friend who had wished to keep her identity hidden and Colin understood.

The day of their departure both Mary and William had come to visit.

William's shaking Colin's hand vigorously as Penelope is watching them, fearful Colin might be furious at him. William then addresses her. "Penelope my dear, I am glad you came to us when you arrived in town." Tapping on his shoulders he pursues. "Do take care of the little Penelope, Mister and I hope you two live very happily wherever you are. I wish you all the very best."

Hearing this from him makes Colin somewhat glad and his jealousy decreases, perceiving that William was indeed the good man as Penelope had described. "Do inform us of your arrival and give us frequent news, we will be very happy to hear from you. I hope we get to visit you one day, otherwise you are most welcome to visit us anytime, I am sure my sister already told you about that." He then offers them a large grin.

"We will." Colin says kindly with a nod and smile at both of them, shaking William's hand again and Pen hugs Mary tightly both in tears before Colin and her left in their carriage. Penelope gives one last glance at her foreign house before stepping into the carriage that would bring her back to Mayfair.

Mary had prepared a freshly baked apple tart for them to settle their cravings on the way.

As they both enter the carriage, Colin hugs Penelope tightly to console her since she's still crying from the pain of leaving the people she had so dearly befriended. Even if they had left quite quickly and in a very short period of time, they thought it wiser since Penelope was not in the best condition to travel far and they did not know how many weeks it would take this time depending on how many stops they might need to take.

As they travelled, Colin and Penelope both enjoyed the view outside their window. Seeing his previous travel locations, Colin mentioned the adventures he experienced there when he would be returning from his travels or on the way there. As they conversed, both recalled the huge difference their travel looked like after leaving Mayfair when they were looking outside the window full of despair and sorrow.

The trip differed hugely this time.

Penelope and Colin stared at each other and they both had the same expression, both understanding what the other was thinking about.

They made fewer stops than they had anticipated or compared to the last time as both Colin and Penelope were in high spirits which had a better effect on their health. After some weeks of sight seeing, hotels stopping to spend the day or the night and a lot of story sharing on how they journeyed the first time, they ultimately arrived at Mayfair.

It was late afternoon when they arrived. The Bridgerton family would be back the following day after being in the country, relaxing after the exhilarating season of social balls. Violet did not want to deprive Gregory and Hyacinth of their well deserved vacation.

Colin and Penelope chose to return to their own house in Bloomsbury. It would additionally help them be in a fresher state to greet the family the following day.

Being back in their house felt weird. Penelope remembers her rush to flee as soon as she enters the hall before moving to her bedchamber as she recalls the quick packing she had done while glancing at the bed she sat in tears after finding out she was with child. Following her behind Colin's also experiencing the same flashbacks with the shock he had obtained of her departure and upon seeing her wardrobe empty with nothing else but her wedding dress.

One look at each other and they knew that they had both been thinking of the same rushed departure before leaving for Scotland. Their mutual gaze had been common by now where just by exchanging glances they could convey the same unspoken feeling.

Not wanting to raise a sensitive topic since they were too tired, Penelope opts to relax instead. "I'll go see if Rae can draw me a bath. I'm exhausted." Colin nods as he knows how tired they had been mostly with Penelope occasionally not feeling well due to her condition.

They decide to retreat to bed early on that day knowing that they had a full day the following day to visit both families and give explanation over her escape and their journey over there and also to announce the happy news. Before getting to bed, Penelope wonders who she should announce first, her mother or her mother-in-law knowing pretty well how Portia would react if she knew she was the second to obtain the news. Well, she chooses not to worry about it but to instead let things go with the flow.

After dressing up, Penelope proceeds to sleep in her bed, the bed she had been sleeping all alone ever since moving to that house and as she stares at it recalling her dark past she hears Colin's footsteps behind her. He glances between Penelope standing idle and the bed she's looking at and discerns what was on her mind and makes a move towards her.

After slowly approaching Penelope, Colin hugs her from behind, wrapping his arms tightly around her while planting a soft kiss on top of her head. "I know what you're thinking but I'll be here now, you'll no longer sleep alone again." His voice is gentle and soothing.

Wrapping back her own arms around his, Pen raises her head to look back at him. "Shall we sleep? I know how exhausted you are and you need to get a good night's sleep before tomorrow." Penelope nods at him, a dim smile forming in her lips.

They then both settle comfortably in their bed after Colin blows off all the candles. It felt weird knowing that her husband was beside her, cuddling with her in their bed in their own bedchamber nevertheless it felt better and undeniably wonderful to be back.

This was home, this was where she and Colin would live, where they and their children would make sweet happy memories. This is the home that Colin had so happily introduced her to and where he undoubtedly also visioned their future together, the one where she would raise her family in.

After eating breakfast and making their way to greet their families, Penelope and Colin are heading to the drawing room when the housekeeper approaches Colin.

"Sir, you have some visits. The dowager Lady Bridgerton and Lady Featherington have both come to visit along with Miss Eloise and Mr Benedict.

Colin and Penelope exchange glances and Colin nods at the housekeeper, anxiousness creeping his expression. "Well, it seems we will not have to move out today after all." Colin says with a serious and determined tone.

"It's worse." Pen replies and adds, nervously. "They'll not let us go until we will answer all their questions and the worst part is that we won't have a home to run away to, we are already in it."

Colin gazes at Penelope somewhat becoming tense himself now and says "Let's not waste time then." He sighs and gives Penelope an apprehensive stare, lifting his eyebrows waiting for a signal. Penelope gulps and she nods.

Both entered the drawing room as if they were celebrities or the like because everyone instantly jumped on them and both Colin and Penelope felt as if they could not breathe with all the questions they were swarmed with.

Violet approaches Colin calmly but still with lots of questions and even if these are not asked hastily, he can feel a pressure 'What happened?' 'When precisely did you find her, Colin? You did not mention it in your letter.' 'Are you both fine now?' 'Where did you stay?'

He glances over his wife, to feel secure at her sight and to also check on her and discovers that she was herself lost or more likely suffocated with Portia's interrogations. When she also has the similar idea to glance back at her husband, they share the same expression of wanting to run away from there but at the same time acknowledging that they had to get this over with.

Portia was the complete opposite of Violet, she threw all questions in a rapid fire to Penelope who was unable to answer any of them as they came one after the other and some were harsh. 'Where did you go running away, leaving your husband?' 'What did you do to have to run away this time?' 'What happened?' 'Where did you escape to before your husband found you?' 'Was your last scandal not enough?' 'Do you want to totally ruin the name of this family, Penelope? Is that what you want?'

Even if she made use of her LW identity to save her mother and their financial issues by giving her some money and saving her from the meddlesome esquire, Portia is clearly not thankful enough. She had been thankful when Penelope sent her the letter with some money and advised to inform the esquire Jack's money came from her funds.

Nonetheless, for now she required explanations about the escaping and there had been loads of gossip about the featherington when she fled, before the queen had published about her identity. It would be natural of her to want to know more.

Standing in the corner, Eloise and Benedict observed as their brother and new sister were being reprimanded by their mothers. Both felt themselves hands tied as they only watched.

With everything going on and all the emotions involved Penelope feels as though she will soon break down and cry and she knows if she bursts out she will be unable to stop and the feeling is increasing rapidly.

From the other side, Colin notices how she's bending her head and downscasting her gaze as her lips start to quiver. He'd seen this before and is aware that she will soon let go of her emotions soon and it would be a disaster if she began. Placing a reassuring hand on his mother's arm and with a smile indicating that he will soon answer every of her queries, he immediately rushes to his wife before Portia could start scolding her on the Lady Whistledown topic.

Taking his hand swiftly in his, Colin squeezes it to console her and to let her know that he was with her in this, that she was not alone. Feeling his presence beside her, Penelope suddenly felt safe and her emotions subsided.

Ushering Penelope to the centre between the two mothers and glancing back at both he says "I know you all have a lot of questions for both of us and let me assure you that we will try to answer you as much as possible. Just give us the time and we will." He then glances at Penelope to check and ensure she's alright and he's relieved to see her looking right at him with a smile curving her lips and replies with a warm tender smile.

"My wife and I are both fine. I had found Penelope some weeks back and I had already written to you about this, mother. Some of you already know the reason…" his voice lowers with his gaze downcast as he continues "...Penelope left. I know I am to be blamed but be assured that now we are on good terms…" Colin glances at Penelope who placed her other hand on his arm as she got closer to him as if to demonstrate that they were indeed united.

They both share a radiant energetic smile and then Colin looks back at their mothers with a firm expression. "I would appreciate it if you do not ask us more about that because we want it to remain between us."

Colin recalls Pen's decision to not to brief his family about the fact that she fled because she was with child and his entrapment accusation so that they would not blame him. He had wished to inform them so he would be reproached because he felt so guilty but Penelope made him swear to never reveal it and to let it remain between them only.

"As for where we stayed, we had a beautiful home in Scotland, which my wife had made arrangements for on her own and we will tell you all about it in due time." Eloise makes a smirk as she looks at both of them and she and Benedict both exchange a proud glance. Both mothers as well gave them a proud expression.

Colin then pauses and sighs as he gazes down at Penelope. Both Violet and Portia gave them a perplexed glance. "Also, there is…another thing we want to…we have to tell you about." Penelope stares at him seriously and nervously and Colin throws a questioning gaze at her and when she nods he adds "Well, I…will let Penelope tell you about it."

Feeling anxious, Penelope gulps but Colin squeezes her hand gently and her tenseness instantly disappears. She faces their mothers and glances between both as she speaks. "We…uhhh…I. I mean we both want to share happy news with you." She then glances at Colin and smiles, a twinkle forming in her eyes, pressing his hand which was still holding hers before looking back at them.

Her voice is filled with excitement as she announces "We are to be parents." Both her and Colin are beaming, unable to control their happiness. Violet and Portia both are shocked and the former seems more excited as her whole face exclaimed. She immediately rushes over to Colin to hug him as Portia makes her way over, also smiling widely to Penelope.

Eloise and Benedict also rush over to congratulate the couple. Benedict hugs Colin whispering in his ears "That was quite fast brother." Colin gives him a hard stare while unabling to stop smiling, glancing at Pen to see if she heard his idiotic brother. Penelope's receiving a rather tight hug from Eloise who is not only happy for her good news but so elated to see her best friend again after so many days which she had thought almost impossible. She gives Penelope a small slap on the shoulder and adds through her tears "I forbid you to ever leave me again. Next time I will not talk to you if you do." Penelope grins and embraces her again.

After the many congratulations, Violet approaches the couple and takes both Penelope and Colin's hands, a huge smile on her face. "That is one very good news you gave me. Here I was frightened that you were about to announce something bad. I am so happy for both of you truly." Removing her hands, her smile fainted as she glances at Portia who then pursues the speech.

"We're so happy with the good news but there is something we have to tell you and it has to be now, unfortunately." She then glances at Violet who resumes "Penelope dearest, the queen has told us to inform you that you should visit her as soon as possible if you ever decide to return and I am sure she's already aware you are in town."

Penelope's expression darkens as she feels a storm looming in her stomach. She turns to face Colin whose face also appears to have grown alarming but he comforts her by pressing her hand and offers her a reassuring nod. Portia then places a hand on her shoulder and adds "Don't worry, Penelope. I am sure it is nothing critical, just a quick meeting as I am sure Colin has already told you about it but she had forgiven you in the news she had published. I am sure it is just a quick formal reunion. It will all be well." Penelope nods as she lowers her gaze, already feeling quite worried about the matter.

The family both tried to forget the queen's request and celebrated the couple's happy news with macaron and mille-feuilles that Eloise had specifically brought for them. Both Colin and Penelope rejoiced at the cakes despite feeling internally scared of what the queen was going to talk about, occasionally throwing glances at each other to check how they were doing.

That night, Penelope withdrew to bed early. Colin also decided to sleep early along with her in order to prevent her from feeling isolated or allowing her thoughts to control her. Ever since the guests left Colin has been reassuring his wife that nothing negative would occur while hiding his own fear of the situation. He kept praying that nothing bad would happen.

As he cuddled with her, he entwined his fingers with hers on her stomach as she was facing the room, his face buried in the crook of her neck.

Colin's voice is soothing and calm mixed with drowsiness as he is trying to console her "It's going to be alright, Pen. Don't worry. I will be right there with you, alright?"

Pen exhales as she replies "Do you think so?" Colin responds quietly. "I do. Everything is going to be alright. Try to sleep now."

Penelope moves and rolls over to face him, both wrapping their arms on each other's waist as they get close. He brings his hand from her waist to brush away a strand from her hair before placing it back on her waist looking in her eyes softly. He again tries to soothe her as he says "It's going to be alright. Hmmm? You are my clever and brave Pen."

Her face lit up with a bright smile at her husband as they held their other hands between them. Getting closer Penelope buried her face in his chest, shutting her eyes attempting to sleep. Colin bent slightly to place a kiss on her head and also closed his eyes to sleep.

Colin lets out a silent tear roll over his cheek at the fearing thought of losing her again with all the time they already lost.

Once in front of the queen, Penelope felt even more scared than she ought to but with Colin beside her, her confidence was high and she felt safe. The queen had forgiven her and was sympathetic with her about being Lady Whistledown but she had ordered Penelope to confess in front of the ton as she had previously mentioned she would do. She also mentions she'll let the scribe continue to write as long as she's within her limits where she would not be reckless with her gossip, as she previously did. Penelope promised to honour her orders.

Penelope was also recently aware that Cressida had no other choice than to leave town to her aunt's in the secluded country after the queen summoned her to the palace to reveal her fraud and warned her about repeating the same. She then left due to her parents' fear of getting in trouble with the queen.

After a few days, the queen had organised a soiree where everyone in the ton was invited to. None had the idea of the cause while some gossiped about it being the reason for Lady Whistledown's return in town. While Penelope tried to stay low most of the time she could not stop those who saw her travelling in her carriage with Colin witnessing her presence and gossiping about her return to others in town.

Just as it had been planned, Penelope talked in front of the whole ton mentioning the reason she took the Lady Whistledown persona, addressing the whole crowd and in the end thanking the queen for showing her mercy. The queen mentioned after her speech that she organised this soiree not only for LW to reveal herself personally but to also remind them that she would not tolerate any negative behaviour towards the scribe nor to entertain gossip and that Penelope will also be more cautious in her columns.

Upon obtaining her letter weeks prior, the queen realised the young to be mother had already undergone quite some dilemmas herself. She could obviously not control all the gossip towards the scribe but she felt the need to do as much as she could to protect her.

After the queen's statement to the crowd, Penelope promises to keep writing but to remain within her boundaries.

A week had gone by after her announcement to the ton and Penelope was suddenly awakened by a loud cry in the middle of the night. "Penelope!" It was Colin who woke up sweating after having a nightmare about her going away. Guessing what it could be about after reading his letters, Penelope patted him and convinced him that she was present in case he was dreaming what she was thinking of. "I am here Colin, sleep now. Shhhhh. I will never leave you now. Sleep."

Colin cuddles with her lightly since her belly had started showing and she was sleeping on her back mostly now, rarely on the side. He wrapped his arm around her waist as she had his head in her arms, caressing his hair and putting him to sleep. Unable to sleep, Colin tells her "I have been having so many nightmares when you left. It's been so long I have had one of them."

Penelope lets a silent warm tear fall on his hair while caressing it as she feels for her husband's pain he had endured when she had escaped. "It will stop now, it will stop. I promise." She then kisses his forehead and continues the caress on his head as she closes her eyes trying to sleep. Colin eventually fell asleep and he had not suffered another nightmare for a very long time after that.

One morning, as they wake up, Penelope slowly opens her eyes and Colin groans in his sleep since she's trying to remove his arm from her stomach so she could get up. She tries again and he deepens his grab with another groan which makes Penelope giggle. "Colin! I am not getting up…" She giggles even further as he pulls her closer to himself, squishing her body against his while still lying on his stomach, his eyes closed.

In a pleading calm voice Penelope says "I will be back right away, I just want to shift these curtains, the light is troubling me and definitely you." Colin rubs his face in his pillow and giggles before turning to her and opening his eyes half, he had no shirt on, only his breeches and Penelope's wearing only a spaghetti silk nightgown. Penelope grips her hand on him and she has no energy to fight more.

He approaches her and plants kisses on the crook of her neck and buries his face there, closing back his eyes and enjoying her smell. "Colin, we have been in our bed for weeks now. I am not complaining and I love this as much as you do but surely you can let me go away for a few seconds and I'll be back right away." She giggles as she speaks.

Colin then opens his eyes, lifts his head and looks up at her and replies in a hoarse sleepy tone "Yes, but then the comfort I already have with you now will be gone." He goes back to his position in her neck and adds with a stubborn childish tone, smiling through her skin "I don't want you to goooo. Please Pennn." He then buries his face again. "You also smell so good."

Pen looks at the ceiling and lightly sighs.

"Fine…I'm not leaving, but do not come for me if you get blinded when you try to sleep." Colin slightly moves his face so his words would come out from being blocked by her neck and adds "I will not. I am hiding behind you, Pen. You are my shield." Pen remains silent and smiles gleefully at his funny but amusing remark.

Not hearing her voice, Colin looks at her lifting his head and notices her smile and smiles back warmly, their eyes both sparkling. He then leans to give her a soft kiss on her mouth and adds with his deep sleepy voice. "You see, you do agree to what I also said."

Still gazing at him, Penelope beams and lifts her hand and grabs onto his bunch of messy brown hair rubbing his head gently saying tenderly "I love you."

Gazing at her closely, he beams which exposes his dimples and he replies by rubbing his nose with hers saying in a tender voice "I know, I love you too." He then goes back to his comforting position in the crook of her neck nuzzling her, closing his eyes to get back to his slumber.

Still smiling Pen shuts her eyes as she savours the moment with her husband in their marital bed with her swollen belly awaiting their child and him not willing to let her go. She gently rubs her stomach thinking about how all her dreams had been fulfilled if not immediately but gradually. Colin then also shifts his hand to hers and rubs her stomach along with her making her beam.

Colin and Penelope Bridgerton were in marital bliss, living happily through pure love.

NOTES:

Thank you for all your support.

I had already laid out every chapter story since I started this Polin story and this was supposed to be the last chapter but I am looking forward to writing a BONUS chapter for Polin's married life after that happy ending and it will obviously still be bliss. This is why I have not added any fast forward view of their future with their children, etc.

You can suggest me ideas in the comments, I will consider them while writing :)

I thank you all for your immense support and for liking my story. Kindly note it was 100% out of my own imagination but the characters do not belong to me, I was inspired by Julia Quinn's characters in Bridgerton.

I do not have a beta to check faults but I've tried to revise them again and again to make sure I don't leave out grammatical/vocabulary errors.

You can also suggest any idea of another Polin story I can write. I am currently writing a series of Polin being in marital bliss after the Dankworth-Finch ball in season 3, you may check it.

There are also other Polin stories such as their wedding night, etc.

Cheers xx