The Panzer Diaries: The Final Chapter

by Deathvoltz

April, 1945. The Red Army has reached the gates of Berlin. The German Wehrmacht prepares for one last stand against the Red Army at the gates of their capital. For the Germans, it is a battle for survival. For the Soviets, it is the end of a long road to slay their bitter enemy for good. This is the final installment of "The Panzer Diaries" series. Co-Authored with LisaEichwald21.

7. Ch 7: Why We Fight

Chapter 7: Why We Fight

26th April, 1945. 0115 Hours – German Reserve Positions North of Neukolln, Berlin

The night sky rumbled with the sound of thunder; its deep, rolling growl echoing across the war-torn city as it mixed with a symphony of dull thuds as artillery continued to pound all around. The constant heavy pattering of rain fell like a constant stream onto the several Tiger tanks, Panthers and Panzer IVs that were holed up inside a courtyard with several somewhat damaged apartment buildings surrounding three of its sides. Some were missing their roofs, whilst many of the windows on each floor were shattered, leaving only the splintered wooden panes as its remains. Bits of timber, broken glass and bricks lay strewn all over the cobbled ground. The only sound punctuating the area was the gentle metallic drumming of raindrops hitting the tops of the steel behemoths. Several yards away, a few soldiers stood guard in the several doorways of the apartments.

Inside one of the building's basements, Maho sat on the bottom step of the stairs leading down, her Panzerjacke draped over her shoulders like a makeshift blanket. Her sidecap rested on her lap as she slowly reached in to her pocket and produced a battered packet of cigarettes. She swore quietly under her breath upon seeing she only had a few left; she had to make them last until she could somehow procure another packet somewhere somehow. Taking one, she brought it towards her lips and gently lit it, watching the tip glow a soft yellow orange for a few moments before taking a long, deep drag. She exhaled slowly, the grey wisps of smoke softly lingering hazily around her face as she sighed quietly. Her dark brown eyes glanced around the room which was dimly lit by two candles her crew had managed to find, illuminating the rest of her exhausted crew members.

After pulling back from the delaying action they had performed two days prior, her unit had barely enough time to rest and rearm before they were sent back towards the front to try and counterattack the Soviet advance into the Tempelhof airport. They had managed to hold them off for a day, but eventually had to fall back and be rotated out due to excessive loss of armour. For the moment, her company, along with the remnants of the first and second Müncheberg battalion from the battle for the airport were held in reserve, ready to join the fray once more when required. From the intel and reports she had received a couple hours ago, the Soviets were on course to take the airport in its entirety by the morning, and the remaining German forces defending the airport were either falling back, running low on ammunition or had already perished.

A dejected sigh escaped her lips once more. Many of the losses they had suffered were directly from the hands of the Soviet IS-2 tanks. Although becoming more familiar with their tactics and how the Soviets employed them, the firepower and armour advantage that the IS-2 had at long range made them a formidable enemy for her crew to fight against. She had witnessed first-hand a good number of her shots simply ricochet off the front armour of the IS-2 during the battle at the airport earlier in the day, and subsequently had to wait until they were, in her mind, uncomfortably close before she could effectively engage and destroy them. After years of having the range and armour advantage, this vehicle had effectively evened the playing field for them. And it was something she detested.

The sound of a fork scratching against the tin caused the brunette to suddenly glance to the source of the sound. Erika was propped up against one of the walls, Panzerjacke draped over her shoulders, slowly eating. The young female commanders' eyes slowly glanced across the room; Ernst lay curled up in the corner attempting to catch a few precious moments of rest as Christian sat cross-legged beside him, reading a book he had found in the one of the apartments above. Felix leaned against the wall opposite to Erika; his right hand twirling an unlit cigarette as he stared into the candles intensely.

A few moments later, Erika slowly stood up, Panzerjacke still draped over her, and walked gingerly to Maho and gestured at the bottom step. The latter flashed a smile and made space for her gunner as Erika sat down beside her.

"You want some food?" Erika asked quietly, slowly placing the tin and fork onto the step next to her superior. "I haven't seen you eat all day, Oberleutnant."

"Don't worry about me, Erika." Maho replied quickly. "Just make sure you and the rest of the boys have had enough to eat." She smiled faintly, pushing the tin back towards Erika gently.

Erika smirked, softly grabbing Maho's hand and stopping her mid-motion. "With all due respect Oberleutnant," She spoke as she guided the tin back towards Maho. "You can do with some food as well." Her eyes glanced once up and down her commander. "You look like you're about to keel over from exhaustion."

"No, honestly Erika its-"

"I insist, Oberleutnant. You need to eat too."

Maho quietly sighed as she heard the insistence in her friends' voice, coupled with the clang of the tin (gently) hitting the step to emphasise the point. She took the tin from Erika, and mouthed a silent notion of thanks. It was only after tasting the tinned chicken, vegetables and hard bread they had combined to make a makeshift stew she realised how hungry she really was. Taking a few more forkfuls, she turned to look at Erika, who had a small, subtle smirk on her face as she watched Maho eat.

"I told you that you needed to eat." She stated simply.

Maho nodded in reply, the tin of food balanced somewhat precariously on her knees as she ate. "I noticed." She muttered in-between mouthfuls. As Erika opened her mouth for another retort, Maho lifted her half-finished cigarette and placed it between the former's lips in a half playful attempt to stop her talking.

Erika's eyes momentarily widened in surprise, but she quickly relented, taking the cigarette between her index and middle finger and taking a soft drag. "That's one way to shut me up." She whispered, exhaling softly as she spoke.

"I wanted to eat in peace, that's all." Maho replied dryly, earning a chuckle from her gunner as the brunette continued to eat. The two of them sat in silence for a while, the stillness of the basement only punctuated by the occasional shuffling of Erika or Felix adjusting in an attempt to find a comfier sitting position, or the sharp scraping of a metal fork scratching against the tin.

"The losses are really mounting up now aren't they, Oberleutnant?" Erika asked quietly, punctuating the silence with her softly hushed voice. "We lost four of our Tigers in the last two days." She whispered, staring at the lit candles in the centre of the room as she spoke, her eyes unmoving.

Maho quickly finished her bite of food, before nodding slowly. "Erwin told me that Miho's company lost a Panther yesterday." She set down the now empty tin onto the step with a gentle clatter. "And on top of that, 3rd company practically got wiped out to a man fighting at Tempelhof yesterday. Along with 2nd platoon from 2nd company."

A disparaged sigh escaped the gunners' lips as she took another long drag from her cigarette. "We're being bled dry, for little to no returns." Erika muttered, before finally turning to face her superior. "I could barely take out any of those IS-2s the other day. And now the Soviets have taken the airport."

The brunette rubbed her face gingerly, head held in her hands. "I know." She simply stated.

"Well, maybe we could have slowed them down a bit more if you were hitting your shots, Erika." Came a sudden voice from the side of the room.

Felix, his grey, weary face illuminated gently by the orangey-yellow dance of the flickering candlelight sat up a little and turned to face the gunner. "You were all over the place yesterday; fumbling your shots, missing callouts, amongst other things." His tired voice echoed throughout the room, though laced with a certain hint of annoyance.

Erika exhaled sharply as she tossed the still lit cigarette onto the floor in exasperation. "I'm not a machine, Felix!" She instantly snapped back. "I'm a human fucking being!"

"Yeah, but right now is when we need you at your best! You were not with it yesterday!" Felix retorted, his voice rising slightly. "We lost a Tiger because you couldn't hit the IS-2 that Maho called out!"

Erika stood up, her Panzerjacke slipping off her frame as she made her way towards her fellow crewmember, her gaze angrily locked at Felix. "Did I not destroy that one immediately afterwards with the next round?! You try and be in my shoes for just one damn minute, Felix!" She shouted. "I'm not perfect! I make mistakes sometimes! Is that too fucking much to ask?!"

"Oh wait, you made mistakes too!" She continued in response to Felix opening his mouth to retort. "Gave me Armour Piercing when I specifically asked for High Explosive to deal with a group of infantry! I had to use the coaxial when we're short on ammunition!" She scowled at the loader. "So don't give me shit for making mistakes when you do the same as well!"

Felix in response stood up to face her. "Oi, what's gotten into you?!" He replied sharply. "The Erika I know would've destroyed those IS-2s in a blink of an eye beforehand!" The loader glared at the woman in front of her. "She wouldn't have missed her first shot and let Hadler-"

Erika gritted her teeth. "-Don't you fucking dare say their deaths were my fault!" She growled.

"-die."

"You piece of-"

"Both of you, that's enough."

Both fell silent as Maho's voice echoed through the room, as she stood up and walked towards the two arguing crewmembers. Glancing momentarily towards the basement exit, she tilted her head slightly in an attempt to listen to the rain, or lack thereof that was pattering outside. "The rain's died down." She stated simply. "Let's go get some fresh air whilst we can." She looked over to both Erika and Felix briefly before gesturing the two of them to follow. The latter was about to open his mouth to respond, but relented after seeing his superior's steely gaze pierce first through him, then Erika. He sighed and nodded slowly, before the two of them headed upstairs a few moments afterwards.

---

26th April, 1945. 0135 Hours

Maho exited the building and stood just outside the doorway. The rain had only just stopped; the torn, muddy ground squelching underneath her boots as she took in the barely lit square in front of them. The four Tigers alongside a few Panthers were parked on either side, standing stoically as the recent precipitation dripped down their hulls.

The young officer looked at the closest Tiger parked in the row. The steel behemoth she commanded looked quite worse for wear; a far cry from the new, gleaming machines that once plastered the newsreels on a weekly basis. Hers was caked in dirt and mud on every surface, though the recent downpour had managed to wash away some of the filth. The scars of battle also adorned its hull; countless marks littered the steel from bullets hitting the tank, along with jagged scrapes and dents where tank shells had luckily ricocheted off the armour.

Her gaze however fell onto the large, gaping hole on the front plate of the tank. Part of the armour was ripped and torn away at an angle, as if a large projectile had slammed into it at high speed but ricocheted. Maho's mind raced back to the encounter with the culprit that caused such damage to her tank; a 122mm armour piercing shell from an IS-2. The only saving grace, and the reason why she was not lying dead on some random Berlin Street or burnt to an unrecognisable crisp in her tank was due the Tiger being angled at the time, thus allowing the round to ricochet. In her mind however, she silently gave credit to the gunner for the shot. It was not an easy shot to make, and whoever it was, most certainly had excellent gunnery skills.

The sound of footsteps approaching the open doorway caused Maho's mind immediately to snap back to the task at hand. Turning around, she saw both Felix and Erika, albeit somewhat begrudgingly, walk outside and join her.

"You wanted to see us, Oberleutnant?"

Erika's tired voice barely cut through the constant, muffled cacophony of gunfire and rumbling of artillery that perpetuated around the entire city that seemed to draw louder every so often. She had finally put her Panzerjacke back on; the black fabric of the uniform blending her silhouette almost seamlessly into the dark of the night around them.

"Yes, I want a word with the two of you." Maho responded curtly, turning to look at both crewmembers in turn. "What is going on with the two of you recently?" She asked; the look in her eyes expressed a mixture of annoyance, exasperation, but also of concern. "You two have been at each other's throats for the last few weeks. Whether I'm around or not, I keep hearing for myself, or from the rest of the boys that you two are always arguing."

"He started it this time though, Oberleutnant." Came Erika's sheepish response.

"I was only telling the truth."

"Hey-"

"Oi, stop it." Maho sharply stated, causing both Felix and Erika to fall silent immediately. "I'm going to make this clear to both of you right now." She glared first at Erika, then Felix. "This needs to stop. Immediately. This constant arguing and infighting isn't good for either of you, or for the rest of them. They're getting sick and tired of it." The brunette sighed quietly, slowly moving past the two of them and closing the door gently.

"But I can also tell both of you have something you want to say, whether it's about each other, the war, or this situation we find ourselves in. I'll give you both this chance to say them out loud to each other. After that, I want no more of this constant bickering and fighting from the two of you. Are we clear?"

Both Erika and Felix nodded slowly. Maho cracked a small, forlorn smirk.

"Go ahead then. I'll be listening, and keeping things civil."

Felix sighed, rubbing his face in his hands for a few moments before looking back up towards Erika. "You know what, Erika? He began, his voiced hushed as he paused, attempting to find the right words to come out of his mouth.

"What, Felix."

"I am so. Damn. Tired. Of your pessimism, Erika." He finally replied, his gaze locked towards her as he took a step forwards. "Always saying we're going to lose this battle, saying that we're all going to die in this hellhole. Why are you so sure that is a forgone conclusion? Every single damn day I'm doing the best I can to keep our morale up; to help all of us," Felix gestured to the three of them, before pointing back into the doorway, "keep on fighting. And what do you do? You shoot me down every single time! You're always snapping back at me saying this and that like 'we're doomed', that 'this is the end' and how we're 'not going to make it out of this alive'. I am sick of hearing it, Erika!"

Maho watched as Erika shot her a quick glance, as if pleading to allow her to retort back. But the brunette gave the latter a subtle shake of the head. In Maho's eyes, they both needed a chance to vent their deeply repressed thoughts and feelings that had been building up for the last couple of weeks, if not months.

"Honestly, what's gotten into you?!" Felix continued, the exasperation and frustration that bubbled underneath the surface finally giving way to almost a sense of despair. "The Erika Austermann I knew from a few years ago was never like this! She would never be so constantly pessimistic, cynical and defeated!" He sighed as her put his head into his hands for a second before staring back at Erika once more.

"We've survived this far; we can survive this battle!" He exclaimed. "We're still all alive, right?! We have probably the best crew in this battalion, let alone the best tank commander in this battalion, if not division!" He gestured to Maho. "We're a well-oiled machine, and as long as we're together, We. Have. A. Chance!"

A brief moment of silence fell between them; Felixs' chest heaving slightly as he slowly regained his breath.

Erika, who had stayed absolutely silent throughout the tirade, looked up at her fellow crewmember and sighed.

"The Erika Austermann you knew a few years ago never thought in her wildest dreams that this war would turn out the way it has." She spoke softly, carefully, though clearly laced with disdain in her voice at the fact she had to express such words. "Did I harbour doubts about the war? Yes. But did I expect the entire Wehrmacht to collapse, and to end up fighting city by city, street by street within our own homeland? No, I did not."

Erika took another step forwards. "Did I expect us to lose ground so drastically and our troops so utterly beaten that we have to defend Berlin, our capital, in a fight that if we lose, we lose everything; our homes, our country, our identity?! No! I did not!" Her voice rose slightly. "Look around, Felix! Does it look like we stand a chance in this fight?! We're trapped in this city on all sides, being pushed back further and further as each hour passes! We're basically out of food and water. Ammunition is getting scarcer each day. Nearly all of our armour is either inoperative or destroyed! Look!" She pointed to the four Tigers that were parked in front of them. "We have four Tigers left in this battalion left, how are we supposed to fight effectively with no armour, no ammunition and no well-trained soldiers?!"

She let out an exasperated chuckle. "Don't get me started on the state of the soldiers fighting alongside us."

"I didn't-"

"The 'soldiers' they reinforce us with are either children, teenagers or old men!" Erika cut Felix off immediately. "None of them can fight effectively, and are dead in minutes! The actual soldiers that we have our exhausted, out of ammunition, or lying dead or maimed in a ruined Berlin street!" Erika's voice rose once more. "How can you expect us to survive, let alone win in these circumstances?" She took a step forward again, till the two crewmembers were almost face to face. "So please, Felix, spare me your lecture on why I shouldn't be so bitter, so pessimistic, and so defeated."

Felix, clearly taken slightly aback by Erika's outburst, struggled to find the words to respond in kind. "But we can't lose." He spoke, his voice shaking slightly as he attempted to find some semblance of confidence once more in his words. "Not again. We can't lose everything again!" However, his true thoughts betrayed the words he spoke, the emotions now creeping upon him like an unstoppable wave. "…W-We can't surrender and lose everything we fought for! We have to keep going even if it means the inevitable!" Felix's voice faltered a little before glancing at Erika. "How can we look our forefathers in the eyes and say we failed Germany yet again?" His voice now only a slight whisper.

Erika eyes widened as she stifled an almost bemused laugh with her hand. "Do you really believe that." She simply stated, barely able to comprehend the words Felix had just uttered out.

"…I have to."

Erika scoffed. "When are you going to realise the reality, Felix?!" She almost shouted, albeit keeping it lowered enough such that others could barely hear over the ambient din of the battle occurring throughout the city. "We are going to lose this war! No matter what you and your idealist fantasies try to make it out to be; We. Will. Lose!" She clasped her face into her hands as she let out a frustrated, exasperated sigh. "And all of this, FOR WHAT?!"

Erikas' eyes widened as she finally shouted out, all pretence of restraint vanishing from her voice; a mix of anger, fear and helplessness weaving in and out as she barely contained the emotions that were bubbling to the surface. "What was the point?! I've fought for years, and for what?! We, no- I've given my all for all this time! Given my heart, my soul, my all!" She looked up at Felix, who was clearly shocked at the reaction from his fellow crewmember. "And for all of it to come for naught! We all have sacrificed so much, seen countless friends and comrades die, and FOR WHAT?! We have lost everything!" She reached out and grabbed Felix by the shoulders with both her arms, tears now starting to trickle from her eyes as her emotions gave way.

"I've lost everything thanks to this war!" Erika gasped out. "Everybody that I care about, gone! Dead! Even my sister!" Her voice rose to a heart-wrenching yell. "MY SISTER! MY SISTER DIED FIGHTING FOR THE REICH! AND WHAT WOULD SHE HAVE DIED FOR?! NOTHING!"

Her chest rose and fell in ragged breaths as Erika's voice slowly quietened once more, roughly wiping away the tears from her eyes as a sense of forlorn and futility crept upon her. "Each day I fight… I fight hoping her death was not in vain. That it wouldn't have been for nothing." She whispered, before chuckling dryly. "Well, I guess it will be for nothing in the end. There won't be anything left. No Reich." She gestured around them. "No Germany. No place to call home. No future for us once we lose. Nothing."

The silence between the three of them was deafening. Felix, upon hearing and absorbing the words spoken by Erika in her tirade, took a few steps back; his face pale as the faint moonlight that occasionally peeked itself from the mostly now overcast night sky. "I..." He began, his voice quivering slightly as the inevitable realisation of truth that his fellow comrade was right began to dawn upon him. "…I just-"

His voice cracked as tears began to slide down his face. "Please… don't take it away from me." He whispered almost silently. "I just want to hold onto the hope." Felix mouthed, momentarily able to compose himself before burying his head into his hands as his emotions gave way; stifling quiet sobs as he struggled to formulate the words he wished to speak. "I-I don't want to lose it all… It can't be all for nothing!" His body shook softly as he struggled to regain his composure. "I… don't want to die… not here…" He mouthed silently.

Erika, upon seeing the reaction of Felix, raised a brow in surprise. She realised that she may had gone too far. She quickly glanced at her superior for advice; Maho subtly gestured towards Felix with her head. Erika quickly moved towards Felix, and pulled him into a gentle hug. "I'm sorry Felix…" She muttered, her voice now a touch softer and more in her usual tone. "I may have gone a bit too far there. That's on me."

"Well, you don't fucking say, Erika." Came Felix's reply, albeit slightly muffled as he sunk into the hug a little, his head burying into the latters' shoulder.

They remained like this for a few moments, before Erika looked down slightly and smirked a little. "Tell you what." She spoke gently. "Next pack of cigarettes I find I'll give it all to you. And I won't ask you for any. It's the least I could do after all this."

This earned a small chuckle from Felix as they slowly let go of one another. "And also quit bossing me around for a day?" He asked, a little cheeky tone re-emerging from his voice as he wiped away the tears from his face.

Erika flashed a forlorn smile. "I'll try my best." She simply said. "Felix," She began.

"Hm?"

"Are we good?"

Felix paused for a moment as he looked at Erika's extended hand, before glancing back up to his fellow crewmember. He nodded as he took her hand and shook it gently.

"We're good. Guess we just needed to vent. You may have needed it a bit more than me." A small smirk crossed his features.

"Okay, don't push it." Erika replied quickly, a trifling of a smile forming on her face.

"That's what I do best."

The retort caused Erika to chuckle slightly. A brief moment silence befell the group, before Erika suddenly spoke up once more. "You know, what I said, I do mean every word of it."

"Oh, don't worry. I could tell, Erika." Felix stated, his face a showing a hint of slight despondency at the words.

Erika smiled faintly in response, her gaze settling on the young loader. "But that doesn't mean I'm not going to fight tooth and nail to make sure you, and the rest of the boys survive this. One way or another."

Felix looked at the latter; his eyes purveying a sense of gratitude at the words that Erika had just spoke. "Don't make it sound like you're not going to make it out of here alive, Erika. We've got your back." He turned to Maho with a small smirk. "Oh, and yours too, Oberleutnant."

Maho smiled faintly. "I know you do. And know that I've got all of your backs as well." She stated gently, looking at both Erika and Felix in turn. "And that is what is important. We may not be able to change the inevitable tide of the battle that is happening, or even the outcome, but we can make sure that at least all of us get to the end and live through this." She softly put a hand on each of her crew members' shoulders. "No matter what the end is, no matter what happens to us, we are a team." She turned to each one in turn. "We've been through hell and back. We have held each other throughout all the ups and the downs. We're a team. And when the end comes, whatever and however that may be, at least we will face it together." She spoke, her voice softening as the gravity of her words came to fruition.

Both Erika and Felix stood silently for a few moments, contemplating the words that their superior had just said to them. The latter then turned to Erika and smirked softly. "I guess we'll have to suffer each other's company for a little while longer then." He spoke up, before narrowly avoiding a semi-serious, semi-playful punch in the arm by the former as he turned round and began to head back inside. "We should head back; the rest of the guys will probably be wondering where we went off to."

"Unfortunately." Came Erikas' reply, a small smile escaped from her as she went to follow Felix back downstairs. "You coming, Oberleutnant?" She asked, seeing Maho still staring out into the darkness of the square in front of them.

"Hm? Oh, don't worry, I'll come back down in a minute." The young female officer replied quickly. "I just want some more time outside." Maho flashed a smile and nodded. Erika smiled back before slowly walking back down with Felix into the basement, leaving Maho on her own standing in the doorway.

---

26th April, 1945. 0150 Hours

She glanced up for a moment, and as if right on cue, the sound of a creaky door opening and promptly closing sounded from the building just ahead on her right side. In the dark, a soft silhouette of a woman, clad in black uniform, exited the building and began to walk slowly towards the centre of the square.

"Erwin." Maho gently called out.

Erwin's head turned towards the source of her name being called, before slowly walking towards her comrade. As she got closer, Maho noticed the messy, unkept blonde hair that was raggedly tied into a loose bun; barely kept aloft by the officer's cap on Erwin's head as she flashed a tired look of acknowledgement. "What are you doing outside this late?" She asked quietly, as the two discreetly embraced one another before moving towards Maho's Tiger for a (relatively private) place to chat for a little while. "I thought you'd be inside resting with the rest of your crew."

"I needed some air, that's all." Maho replied quickly; she noticed the deep bags around Erwins' blue eyes, and the fatigue that those eyes expressed. Seeing Erwin raise a brow, the former smiled faintly. "Okay, that wasn't all. Felix and Erika had to… air out some grievances as well. So, I had to make sure things didn't get too out of hand."

"Ah. I thought I heard someone shouting earlier. I'm guessing they've made up then?"

Maho nodded slowly. "I'd say so." She stated simply, reaching into her pocket and producing her battered box of cigarettes. She opened it and glanced at it momentarily before swearing under her breath as she noticed the two that remained. "Ah, shit. I should save these." She muttered quietly.

Erwin quietly produced her own box, and handed it to the brunette in front of her. "Swap." She stated gently.

"Erwi-"

The blonde swiftly pulled a cigarette from the box and placed it between Maho's lips before she could respond fully. Erwin then gently picked up the latters' old pack, before placing her own into the hand of the woman in front of her. With her free hand, Erwin produced a lighter from her pocket. As she lifted it upwards, she felt the warm grasp of Maho's hand as she guided it towards her lips and lit the cigarette with a soft click; a warm, gentle orange glow illuminating the silhouette of the two of them. Maho softly flashed a smile as she pocketed the now brand-new packet, taking a gentle drag before turning her head and exhaling.

"Thank you."

Erwin smiled softly as she lit up her own, a thin wispy trail of smoke emanating from the tip before she took a drag herself. A few moments of quiet passed by between the two of them, as they silently relished the rare opportunity to be together; just enjoying one anothers' company for a few fleeting moments.

"Did you tell command about our manpower shortages?" Maho spoke up after a couple of minutes, her eyes looking towards the woman in front of her.

"Yes, I did."

"Did you mention that we need to either be rotated off the line to rearm and reinforce what we can, or be given at least some sort of reinforcements if we are to be kept on the line?"

Erwin nodded. "Trust me, I did." She sighed quietly. "However, I've got bad news for you, though." She stated to Maho quietly.

The latter sighed. "They're still keeping us on the line?" She muttered.

The blonde looked at Maho dejectedly. "They also want us to counterattack the positions that the Soviets have taken yesterday afternoon." Erwin replied slowly. "Since you're what's left of first platoon, 2nd platoon is being amalgamated to first platoon under your command. You and Karla are to spearhead the attack, with the rest of what remains of first company. Miho and the remainder of her platoon are to support your action with a diversionary counterattack as well. Same positions as yesterday. Attack is to begin at 0600 hours." She sighed. "I'm sorry that I had to tell you that, but orders are orders."

Maho stared at Erwin in disbelief at the words that had just come out of her superiors' mouth. "You're joking, right?" She mouthed. "Where's the infantry support?" She asked.

"2nd battalion will try and scrape together the manpower from fourth company, or what's left of it." Erwin responded. "3rd company are-"

"3rd company got practically wiped out yesterday, they aren't going to be worth a damn." Maho bluntly stated. "You know that, Erwin." She took one step forward. "What is the point of this counterattack? We're most certainly going to not succeed in the state our troops and armour are in!"

Erwin frowned slightly at the tone of her comrade's voice. "I don't like it as much as you do, Maho. But you and I both know we have to at least try and stop their advance." She spoke up, her voice a tad louder than before. "Those are our orders."

Maho chuckled dryly. "We've been ceding ground to them for as long as I can remember." She rubbed her face in her hands in frustration. "And you think a rag-tag defence force like what is left of us can hold them off? You think we can actually win this fight?"

Erwin, now slightly visibly annoyed, took a deep drag from her cigarette before tossing it onto the ground. "Watch what you're saying." She said sharply, her hand now reaching up to her hair subconsciously and nervously began to play with it. "The last thing I need is someone overhearing your words and reporting you for defeatism."

"Well, it's not exactly defeatism if it's the real-world situation, is it Erwin?" Maho quickly retorted. "You can't possibly think that three Tigers on the field and three Panthers, along with a bunch of underfed, under-equipped soldiers are going to succeed in punching through? We'll be facing at least a full Guards infantry battalion and heavy tank regiment tomorrow. You really think we stand a chance?!" Her voice rose slightly as the frustration in her voice began to bubble over. "We need rein-"

"We don't have any more reinforcements!" Erwin suddenly shouted at Maho, her blue eyes a mix of exasperation, desperation, anger and fear all blended into one as she glared at the brunette in front. "Don't you get it Maho! We're all that's left!" Her voice wavered slightly as Erwin barely held back tears of frustration. "There is no one left to reinforce us! We're on our own!"

Maho stepped back as her eyes widened in surprise at the directed outburst from Erwin; taken aback that the person she cared so much about would shout at her in anger. An expression of pure surprise etched upon her face.

Erwin, upon seeing the look on her face, immediately realised what she had just done. Her blue eyes locked onto Maho; a silent apology screaming from them as she quickly stepped forwards and wrapped her arms tightly around the brunette. "I'm so sorry, schatzi." She mouthed quietly, feeling a tear slowly flow down her cheek as she spoke. "I didn't mean to shout at you…" A few moments later, she felt a pair of hands slowly wrap around and pull her closer in response to her apology.

The pair stayed like this for a little while, the hull of the Tiger behind them obscuring them from (nearly all) prying eyes, before slowly moving apart to lean against the hull once more. The brunette moved to gently rest her head on Erwins' shoulder as she glanced up at her. Seeing the tears still flowing from Erwins' eyes, Maho gently reached up wiped them away tenderly with her thumb. She then slowly lifted her cigarette to Erwins' lips, allowing her to take a drag. She then did the same, before gently dropping the now finished cigarette onto the floor.

"I know you didn't mean to, Erwin." She mouthed softly. "Just surprised me a little, that's all."

"I'm sorry, Maho. I shouldn't have shouted." Erwin whispered, before giving a soft but subtle kiss on the top of the brunettes' head.

"It's okay, Erwin."

"It's not, I shouldn't ha-"

Erwin abruptly stopped as she felt a hand softly hold onto hers. She flashed a small smile as she glanced down. "That's one way to shut me up." She whispered.

They remained like this, hand in hand for a couple of minutes; just enjoying the quiet moment together that they could so rarely spend. A small, but forlorn smirk crossed Erwin's features. "We really shouldn't be doing this in public, though." She mouthed, glancing over at Maho.

"I don't care." Maho quietly but bluntly replied. "We don't get to spend time like this anymore. Besides, no one can see us behind this Tiger anyway-"

---

26th April, 1945. 0200 Hours

The door just in front of them swung open gently as the words left the formers' mouth as Erika quickly emerged from the darkness inside. The two of them instinctively let go of one another and quickly shifted away to not be so close.

"Oh, didn't see you there Hauptmann." Erika stated, quickly saluting, though a small, badly hidden smirk at the sight she had just witnessed still remained on her face.

The blonde smiled faintly as she returned the salute. "I haven't seen you in a while, Erika. How are you and the rest of the boys doing?" Erwin asked.

"Surviving, that's the best we can do." Erika replied, a dry chuckle escaping her lips as she did so.

The former smirked in response. "Aren't we all. Anyway, I'll talk to you shortly, Maho. By the way, we'll be briefing and planning the attack in 15 minutes." Erwin gently placed her hand on the brunettes' arm in goodbye before slowly walking back towards the building she had come from.

Erika's smirk still remained for a couple of moments. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important, Oberleutnant." Seeing Maho raise a brow slightly, she nodded. "I know, I know. I won't say a word, like the last half dozen times you've made me promise before." Her smirk grew into a small grin.

Maho raised a brow slightly with a soft smirk of her own. "That's my Erika." She replied somewhat playfully. "Though I don't think you came upstairs to only interrupt Erwin and I? Are the boys wondering where I've gone?"

"Exactly that. So, they sent me to see where you are."

"I was just about to come back downstairs, actually." Maho stated. "Though I've got some bad news; we've been ordered to counterattack the positions we lost yesterday."

Erika's face visibly fell as she swore under her breath. "It's going to go great, isn't it." She muttered, looking up at her superior.

Maho sighed dejectedly. "Yep, but we got to try, nonetheless." She rubbed her eyes gingerly. "Go back downstairs and tell the boys. I'll come down in a moment to brief you all quickly. Then can you spread the word to assemble our company, along with Miho and what's left of her 2nd platoon to meet in the headquarters building at 0215 hours for the official brief."

"Jawohl, Oberleutnant. Will do that now."

The brunette watched as Erika quietly headed back downstairs into the basement, hanging back momentarily to gather her thoughts in regards to the situation at hand. The words Erwin had shouted at her echoing within her consciousness. Maho sighed quietly at the thought. She knew that those words rung true. There really wasn't many, if at all any, reinforcements left. All the able-bodied soldiers that remained were exhausted, hungry, thirsty, scrounging for meagre bits of ammunition that was rapidly dwindling with each passing day.

Even with Erwin telling her the importance of having to counterattack and to not give ground, Maho could easily hear the barely contained futility that she expressed; the words that came out of her mouth lacking any sort of intent or even authenticity.

But what else could her superior have said? The truth of the situation lay smouldering all around them. That was clear for everyone to see.

Maho looked back at the steel behemoth that was her Tiger once more, as she slowly attempted to settle the swirling thoughts in her head before slowly beginning to make her way downstairs to rejoin her crewmembers.

No. Her friends and comrades in arms.

She was their commander; she had to stay strong for her own sake, and for each and every one of them.

In the end, she was the proverbial glue that held them all together in times like these, offering leadership, support and advice; even when the situation was becoming too much to bear.

---

26th April, 1945. 0110 Hours – Soviet Reserve Positions Around Neukolln, Berlin

The dull wooden stairs creaked noisily as a pair of worn, but still generally clean black boots slowly made their way upstairs and across the landing to what was the door of the master bedroom of the house, leaving faint wet prints on the wood. The young officer straightened their slightly rain-soaked attire subtly, before proceeding to knock sharply thrice.

"Enter."

The door promptly swung open as Nonna slowly walked inside the bedroom-turned-headquarters space for her company commander. She gave a quick but kind nod of acknowledgement to the orderly who had just opened the door for her, before turning back to face her superior. "You asked for me, comrade Kapitan?" She asked, standing to attention and saluting as the latter stood up and returned the salute in kind.

"I did indeed." Nikolai replied gently. "Although I do understand it is late and short notice, so apologies if I woke you up." A small but somewhat bemused smile crossed his features as he spoke.

Nonna flashed a smile in reply. "I was about to get some rest, but that can wait I guess." She joked, though the slight bags underneath her eyes betrayed her true wishful intentions. "What do you need me to do?

"Brigade command wants me to write a report about the company's performance as part of a performance review of our regiment." Nikolai stated as he stood up and slowly walked round to the edge of his desk and reached for the bottle of vodka that was half full, before pouring it out into pair of small glasses that stood in front of it. He took one in each hand, extending one towards Nonna.

She hesitated momentarily, before slowly taking it from his grasp. "Thank you, comrade Kapitan." Nonna spoke gently.

The former flashed a smile in acknowledgment before continuing. "So, for a company after-action report, I'll need your input as platoon leader. I want you to write up a review of you and Alexis' performance for the last couple days of combat. It'll need to include the objectives you were tasked to complete, the methods of action you and Alexi undertook, why you as platoon leader decided to make said decisions, as well as the after-action result of each engagement."

Nonna nodded carefully. "I'll get that done, comrade Kapitan." She responded quickly.

"Polkóvnik Yurenkov also wants an honest review of the performance of each crewmember by their commander. So, you'll also need to include of the performance of yourself, your own crewmembers, and also Alexi and his crew. It'll need to be concise but honest. I'll need it on my desk by 0300 hours if possible. Handwrite it, and I'll get someone to type it up." Nikolai spoke before quickly drinking the contents of the glass in one go and setting it gently back on the desk.

"It will be done." Nonna stated quietly, glancing at the glass of vodka she held in her hand before finishing its contents herself. "Do you know why there's such a sudden need for such a comprehensive in-field performance review?" She asked.

"I assume he wants to assess the performance of the regiment, and see which company performs the most effectively." Nikolai answered slowly. His eyes glanced over to Nonna. "Though you did not hear this from me; if a company is deemed to have overall excellent or outstanding performance, those commanders and soldiers who have exceeded expectations or have performed admirably will be earmarked for commendations and promotions." A small smirk crossed his features. "That may mean a promotion to Stárshiy Leytenant, or even to Kapitan if he deems you are suitable for the role."

Nonna smiled slightly at the news. "And take over your role as company commander, comrade Kapitan?" She questioned, a slight playful hint emanating from her voice as she spoke.

"Perhaps." Nikolai replied as he sat back down in his seat, leaning back slightly. "But we will see." He mused.

A few moments of silence followed, before the sedentary officer suddenly perked up with a question. "Have you thought what you might do after the war is over?" Nikolai suddenly asked, leaning forwards slightly as if in anticipation of the reply Nonna might give. "And do you know what your crewmembers, like Alina or Anastasiya, might want to do?"

Nonna paused, her brow raising slightly at the question directed towards her. "Not too sure about the rest of the girls, comrade Kapitan." She stated gently. "Although in my case, I may stay on in the army after this is all over. It only seems natural, having a military background and upbringing." A small smile crossed her features.

Nikolai tilted his head inquisitively. "Oh, you're planning to stay on?" He asked. "So, a career officer? Thinking of transferring to another branch, or do you want to stay in the armoured corps?"

The former thought for a moment. "Perhaps, though for how long, I do not know." Nonna answered, her free hand absent-mindedly tapping the glass she held; a gentle clinking sound emanating from each soft impact. "But I definitely will stay in the armoured corps. Being a tank commander is all I've been good at these last couple of years." She glanced over at her superior. "But in all honesty, I'll have to see once all of this is over first."

Her superior nodded in agreement. "Of course, but do have a think about it." He looked up towards Nonna. "You definitely have the skillset, knowledge and experience to rise up the ranks quickly." He smiled. "I can see you becoming the rank of Majór, if not Podpolkóvnik in a few short years with your in-service performance and leadership skills. You would be a valuable addition to the armoured corps' officer corps."

"Thank you for your kind words, comrade Kapitan." Nonna replied. "Although, I may also return to finish my studies in engineering instead." She cracked a small smile. "I hope I haven't dashed your career aspirations for me with that sentence, but I do want to keep my options open."

The seated officer chuckled at the remark. "Of course, returning back to civilian life is always an option." He spoke, grabbing the bottle and pouring himself and Nonna another shot of vodka. "How many years did you have left before joining the army?"

"One more year left and I would have gotten my bachelor's in mechanical engineering." Nonna responded, nodding in thanks as the clear colourless liquid filled her glass once more.

"Moscow State University?"

"Quite so."

"Well, regardless of which path you want to take," Nikolai began, as he quickly drank the contents of his glass, "I know you're going to do well and make it a worthy and fulfilling career." He sat the glass down back onto his desk. "You have the aptitude, skills and mindset to achieve great things, Nonna. Always remember that."

The female chuckled shyly in response to the compliment her superior had just given to her. "Thank you, Nikolai Ivanovich." She replied simply.

A few moments of silence fell between them, Nonna slowly finishing the drink Nikolai had offered, before placing the glass back onto his desk.

"Before I forget, I heard this a little while back, but thought it'd be pertinent and potentially useful to tell you now." Nikolai suddenly spoke up once more. "Tell your crew, but keep it amongst yourselves."

Nonna raised a brow. "What is it?"

Nikolai leaned forwards in his seat slightly. "There are potentially a few instructor roles available at the Kazan Tank School that will be opening up soon. I heard they were looking for crewmen who had specifically served in Heavy Tank Brigades, to teach recruits to operate the IS-2 heavy tank." He smiled faintly. "You and your crew are all highly skilled and, in all honesty, perfectly qualified to take on this opportunity, if you so wish. Just let me know if you, Klara, or any of the others are interested, I'll drop a letter of recommendation in for you."

Nonna nodded in reply. "Thank you. I'll let the girls know and will tell you if they're interested." She softly stated, before straightening up her uniform once more. "If you'll excuse me, comrade Kapitan, I must get going to get the report written." She flashed a smile as she saluted her superior and began to head for the door.

However, as her hand grasped the handle, she paused. Turning around slightly, she quickly looked at Nikolai once more. "If I may ask, what would you want to do after the war is over?"

The soft tone of Nonna's voice caused the latter to look up briefly. Nikolai stayed silent for a moment, before reaching out and gently grasped the photo frame that sat on his desk. He silently stared at it, before chuckling once. "Spend time with my wife and daughter." He simply said, looking up at Nonna, melancholy etched in his expression. "I haven't seen them in years." A deep sigh escaped his lips. "I just want to be able to get through this, to see them and hold them once more."

The young female officer slowly let go of the door handle as she fully turned around. "What are their names?"

"Aleksandra. And my daughter is called Karina." Nikolai smiled faintly, turning the photo frame round so that Nonna could see.

Nonna's heart melted slightly at the sight of a cute looking girl that was sat on her mothers' lap. What surprised her however was the military uniform that the woman in the photo wore. "Aleksandra's an officer?" Nonna exclaimed in surprise. "She has the epaulettes of a Leytenant, like I do."

Nikolai nodded, a soft, warm smile emanating from his face. "She's a military physician in the Red Army." He replied, his gaze fixed on the woman in the photo as he spoke. "She's from Moscow, like you." His eyes glanced over to Nonna. "But we met whilst she was working in Leningrad, and also volunteered to join the medical corps when this war broke out. We had this photo taken just before the two of us were deployed. The last time we wrote to each other was around January time earlier this year; she was working in one of the rear line hospitals around the Vistula River."

The latter smiled faintly as her attention turned to the young girl in the photo. "How old is Karina?" Nonna asked tenderly.

Her superior chuckled softly. "She'll be turning seven in a few months. Karina's a cheeky little one. Always asking you to play with her whenever you have a moment's peace and quiet to yourself." Nikolai's smile widened slightly though a soft sigh quickly escaped from his lips. "They're the reason why I keep on fighting each and every day; so I can come back alive and be able to see them and hold them in my arms once more." He turned to look up at Nonna. "To see Karina grow up and live her life in a world without war. Without all this bloodshed."

Nikolai paused for a moment, apparently attempting to quell some rising emotions, before settling back to his usual self. "Well, I should let you go; you have a report to write."

Nonna looked over to him. "I'm sure you will see them when this is all over, Nikolai Ivanovich." She spoke, her tone soft and reassuring as she flashed a small smile before turning the door handle once more, opening it gently, and exiting the room.

---

26th April, 1945. 0140 Hours

Nonna hurriedly walked back towards the relatively intact block of flats that housed her crew, amongst other troops for the night; the sound of her boots hitting the rough cobbled streets echoing around the empty street. There were no lights to guide her way; she barely made out the entrance to the building, only made recognisable by the two soldiers who were posted outside for guard duty.

Subtly returning the salute given to her, she made her way up the stairs to the second floor. The building was mostly silent, albeit the sounds and noises of muffled conversation, footsteps and movement of the troops holding in the different rooms and apartments for the night wafted up and down the interior of the building. Approaching the end of the landing, she quietly opened the penultimate door and entered the apartment.

The doorway of the apartment opened up to a short corridor flanked by two diagonally opposite doors that led to a bedroom and bathroom respectively. The end of the corridor led to a relatively small but cosy living and dining area, which was sparsely illuminated by several strategically placed candles on the table. A thick blackout curtain was drawn across the window, blocking any sort of light from escaping out of the room.

"Oh, Nonna's back."

Anastasiya's voice drifted through the corridor as Nonna slowly walked towards the living area. "Are you ladies doing alright? Settled okay for the night?" She softly enquired back.

As she entered the threshold, her eyes scanned the interior; she noticed Anastasiya and Klara were sat at the kitchen table opposite one another; the latter dealing out a hand of cards whilst the brunette patiently waited, her fingers fiddling with an unlit cigarette. The lighter neatly placed on her left-hand side.

"We're all good here, Nonna." Came Anastasiya's swift response.

"Yep, all nice and settled in. Shall I deal you in as well, Leytenant?" Klara gently asked as both of them gently acknowledged Nonna's presence as she took off her Pilotka, grabbed a seat and sat down at one end of the table. However, the young female officer shook her head.

"Not tonight, but thank you." She replied, flashing a kind smile at her gunner as she placed the Pilotka neatly on the table, before producing a small notebook and pen from the leather bag that she had draped across said chair earlier in the evening.

"What did Kapitan Vostrov want?" Came Alina's voice from the other end of the room, causing Nonna to turn her head. The youngest of the group was curled up on the sofa with a (still relatively fresh) blanket she had obtained from the bedroom; her boots lazily tucked away just beside one of the legs.

"Not much, really." Nonna answered quietly, though her eyes stayed focused on the notebook as she attempted to recall the actions her crew had performed over the last day or two, the pen rhythmically tapping against the empty page for a couple of moments before she began to jot down words to page. "He just wanted me to write an after-report summary for us and Alexi, detailing the actions we have performed over the last day or so." She spoke matter-of-factly. "High command wants to do a performance review, so he needs my input to feed into his company performance report."

"What would the outcomes of the performance review be?" Klara asked, though her eyes remained deadly focused on the hand of cards she held, before choosing one and placing it onto the middle of the table. Anastasiya momentarily did the same.

The young Leytenant continued to jot down her reflections for a couple of moments, before pausing for a few seconds. "Well, Kapitan Vostrov said that if the review goes well for us, in which if our company is deemed to have overall excellent or outstanding performance, they would be promotions and commendations for the soldiers involved." She stated slowly, her eyes flicking back and forth between her notebook, Klara and Anastasiya. "So, you and Ana may actually end up receiving a commission to Mládshiy Leytenánt." Nonna's gaze quickly glanced to Alina on the sofa. "And you could also be promoted to a Stárshiy serzhánt or even a Starshina."

Alina audibly chuckled. "You hear that, Ana? You might get commissioned an officer!" She exclaimed rather playfully as she slowly sat up on the sofa; the blanket still draped around her like a warm cocoon.

"That would be a sight to behold." Klara added as she reached out and gently took a card from the deck, her eyes still focused on the cards that were in play; though a small smirk crossed her features as she glanced up to the fellow crewmember opposite.

"Like, imagine if somebody annoyed Ana." The young loader began. "If you had someone like Alexi under your command; they would not last a minute before you punched them!"

Anastasiya scoffed playfully, raising a brow at Klara's choice of card as the latter placed down her card before turning to Alina. "Then maybe it's a good thing I'm not an officer." She chuckled softly. "I honestly do not have the patience to deal with idiots like him. I don't get how Nonna deals with him, or other rowdy enlisted troops who think they know better than her."

"Trust me, I don't know how I deal with Alexi either." Nonna quietly muttered as she continued writing, earning a quiet chortle from her crew. "How about you, Alina?" She asked softly. "Would you want to be commissioned if the situation ever arose?"

"Not in a million years." Alina quickly replied, sinking slowly back towards a horizontal position on the sofa.

"Thank goodness." Anastasiya joked, barely stifling her voice; a small grin on her face as she glanced over at her fellow crewmember.

"Oi, I can't be that bad, can I?!" Alina retorted humorously from her now reclined state as she wriggled a little to get more comfortable.

"I'm only joking, Alina." Anastasiya jested softly, casting a gentle glance at her comrade accompanied with a small smile. "You wouldn't be that bad, honestly."

The latter shrugged. "Thinking about it properly though," Alina began, as she settled into the sofa. "I wouldn't really know how to manage and command other people." She turned her head towards the rest of the crew that was sitting around the table. "Like, I could never do what Nonna does on a daily basis, day in day out." She giggled a little. "No offence, Leytenant, but I'm pretty sure you know what you're doing since you came from a military family with your father being an officer, and a pretty high ranking one too? What rank does he hold if I may ask?"

Nonna smiled softly at the remark her loader had made as she gently put her pen down onto the paper. "I'm pretty sure the last time we exchanged letters from a couple of months ago he had been promoted to Podpolkóvnik." She gently spoke, looking towards Alina. "And you do raise a fair point; I may have had an upbringing that revolved a lot around the military thanks to him. I definitely had a bit more insight, however big or small on how the military worked and operated daily. But trust me when I say this," Nonna pulled out her packet of cigarettes and placed them on the table and reached for one with the tips of her fingers. "I struggled to get used to doing all of this when I first started." With the hand that held her cigarette, she gestured to the rest of her crew in a soft sweeping motion before softly placing it next to her notebook. "Leading and managing people was not my forte. I never had to do anything of that sort before all of this."

"No way." Alina's eyes widened in surprise as she shook her head. "I don't believe that."

Nonna smirked slightly. "Oh, you better believe it. Just ask Klara." She gestured to the woman sitting to her left side. "She's been with me ever since I was first assigned to what was the 46th Tank Brigade in, when was it…" She looked at Klara for confirmation. "…January? 1943?" The latter nodded.

"Quite so, Leytenant." Came her quiet reply, as Klara once again reached out and picked up another card from the dwindling deck pile.

"Klara, can tell you how green I was when I first started?"

The gunner smirked a little at the thought, placing her cards close to her chest as she turned to face her superior. "Definitely not as relaxed as you are now." Klara stated, her gaze now quickly flicking back to the cards she held before playing a pair. "You were so by the book, but that was how you were taught; you were just commanding your crew the way the instructors and teachers told you how."

"Almost wound up tight like a spring." Nonna added, chuckling slightly as she allowed these seemingly long-lost memories to float back into her consciousness. "What else has changed since then?"

Klara paused momentarily glancing at the cards Anastasiya put down before replying. "I would say you've becoming outwardly more confident; as a person and as a leader. It took a while, but you've basically become your own style of leader. Doing it in your own effective way. And," She gestured around the room with her free hand. "I think it's been pretty effective and beneficial for us all; don't you think Ana?" She asked deliberately, a smirk crossing her features as she laid the rest of her cards down on the table. "I win." Klara spoke softly.

Anastasiya stared at the cards that lay in front of her with slight disbelief, before throwing her head back and sighing loudly. "I cannot fucking believe it." She muttered, shaking her head as she tossed her cards onto the table in defeat. "I thought I had you beaten for sure on the next round." Her gaze unmoving on the winning cards that lay proudly in front of Klara. "But, to answer your question, yes." She finally responded. "And to be honest with you, Nonna," Anastasiya looked over to her. "I wouldn't have been able to tell that all that it didn't come naturally for you. And I mean that as a compliment, Leytenant." She quickly added seeing Nonna raise a sarcastic brow.

Nonna's slight smile caused a small chuckle from Anastasiya, before the latter reached out and collected the cards once more to begin shuffling them. "Here's a question for you ladies," Nonna said gently. "Out of the three of you, who do you think would be the best candidate to be commissioned as an officer?"

"Klara."

"Yep, Klara."

The immediate responses from both Alina and Anastasiya caused Klara to quickly look up in slight surprise and shock. "Really?" She exclaimed, casting slightly baffled glances at her comrades, though her lips curled into a small smirk at the perceived absurdity of their decision.

Alina nodded, finally standing up and leaving the sofa she had inhabited for a while, though still wrapped up in the blanket as she took the seat at the opposite end of the table facing Nonna, and between the other two crewmembers. "You're calm, collected, even during the heat of combat." She explained. "You always seem to know what to do, and when to do it."

"You're so good at working under pressure." Anastasiya reassuringly added, handing out another hand of cards to Klara, then herself in turn. "And your decision making is top tier as well. That's why Nonna always trusts you to take the shot at your discretion." A small smile crossed her features as she looked at her friend opposite. "There are very few commanders I know that trust their gunners that much to that extent. And I trust you every single time as well."

Klara felt a sudden, gentle rush of warmth on her face as she smiled softly. "Thanks Ana, it means a lot that you say that about me." She chuckled slightly, looking down at the table somewhat coyly. "…Do you really think I'd do a good job as an officer, Leytenant?" She questioned quietly, her light blue eyes now glancing to Nonna.

The woman at the head of the table continued writing momentarily, turning over the page of her notebook before putting her pen down once more and looking over to Klara. "I think you definitely do have what it takes." Nonna spoke gently, a small smile crossing her features as she did so. "Ana already said what makes you a cut above the rest, and I do think," She leaned forwards slightly. "With the correct training and guidance, I certainly think you could make a decent tank commander and officer of the Red Army. You only need to ask me, of course." Nonna joke, giving her gunner a playful wink. "I can see you making a good career out of it once this war finishes."

Klara blushed at the remarks her superior had made, her cheeks now growing increasingly red as she somewhat tried to hide it with the new set of cards that Anastasiya handed to her. "Perhaps. I've a few ideas on what I may want to do though, but not sure which path as of yet." She quietly spoke, though her barely hidden smile did not mask the delight she felt from the compliments she received from her comrades' moments before.

"Oh? I've actually never heard you say what you want to do after all this is over!" Alina's voice suddenly cut through the quiet of the room as she shuffled her closer towards the table in intrigue.

Anastasiya raised a brow in response. "You know, Alina's right. I don't think I've ever heard you say, Klara." She looked across to the woman sitting opposite her, before glancing to the rest of the inhabitants of the room. "Funnily enough, we haven't really talked about it have we?" She exclaimed.

"Probably because we didn't think we'd see the end of the war to think about it, Ana?" Came Klara's remarkedly snarky response, a small smirk now on her face as she watched the reaction of her crewmates to her remark.

An audible scoff of shock and (somewhat) humoured surprise escaped Anastasiya's lips, before she let out a chuckle to gather her thoughts on something she never expected Klara to say, even more so in jest. "Okay for that, you're going first Klara." She stated humorously.

The blonde smiled at her comrades' remark, tilting her head slightly as she studied the cards in her hand. "I might stay in the army for a while, to be honest with you." Klara gently stated, shifting the cards around as she spoke. "I'll either stay in the armoured corps, or maybe see if I can transfer into internal security." Seeing Anastasiya raise a brow, she chuckled. "Who knows, Ana; I might want a change of scenery after living the last few years in a metal box."

"Following into your fathers' footsteps and joining the NKVD, huh?" The latter spoke up, a small gleam in her eyes as she looked at the woman sitting opposite her. "That would be an interesting change of pace for you. Also, you're starting since you won." Anastasiya quickly added.

"Again, it's just an idea. Nothing is set in stone at the moment." Klara shrugged lazily, before choosing and placing down a card on the table. "I'll start thinking about it properly once this war is over and done with. But until then, you're stuck with me, Ana." She glanced up and smirked faintly at her. "Speaking of, what's your plan once this war finishes?"

Anastasiya tilted her head gently, silently pondering for a few moments all the while glancing at her own cards, the card Klara placed down, then at the latter. "Honestly, I'm not too sure." She finally spoke up. "Haven't taken much time to sit down and have a think because, well," Anastasiya gestured around them. "There's a full-blown war going on." She placed a card down onto the pile. "But I think I'll definitely want to head home to Kokhma, and take maybe care of my mother for a while if needs be."

"Ah, of course." Came Klara's gentle reply. "I do hope your mothers' health is much better these days, Ana."

A soft sigh escaped Anastasiya's lips. "Well, things do seem to be looking up in this recent year or two. She's been able to send me some letters, where she says she's not bedbound any longer for at least the last year or so, and have been able to do more and more tasks in and around the house." A small, hopeful smile began to cross her features. "It's been years since her health has improved so drastically."

"I'm so glad to hear that she's been doing better." Nonna looked over to Anastasiya, a small, hopeful glint in her eyes. "Does that mean hopefully you might be able to find work somewhere, if you don't have to care for your mother all the time?"

"Maybe." Anastasiya simply answered, shrugging slightly. "Hopefully." She glanced over to Nonna. "I'll probably spend some time with her first, before looking."

"What sort of job would you want to do, Ana?" Alina asked, shuffling her chair over to sit next to her comrade, whilst peering slightly to see the cards in Anastasiya's hand.

The latter leaned in slightly to give Alina a look at the cards. "Probably something quiet, like a secretary or something like that." Anastasiya spoke slowly. "I've seen enough action and excitement for a life time, honestly."

The woman at the end of the table raised a brow as she continued to transcribe an ever longer report that was growing by the minute. "A quiet life, settle down, that sounds good to me, Ana." Nonna stated, flashing a warm smile at her in response.

"I wouldn't want to sit behind a desk all day, personally." Chirped Alina, peeking at Anastasiya's cards once more as she spoke; a small cheeky smirk on her face.

Anastasiya smiled back, shuffling ever so slightly closer to give her a better view. "I think we all know that, Alina." She stated simply. "You can't sit still for two minutes, let alone all day. So, what would you wanna do once all this is over and done with?

The young crewmember tilted her head in a somewhat pensive manner. "Maybe work with vehicles, so potentially a mechanic?" Alina stated, though with an air of unsureness in her voice. "I learned a lot about fixing and repairing tracks, engines, machinery as part of this job, so maybe use what I've learned and apply it into civilian life?" She chuckled a little, before giving Anastasiya a gentle nudge with her elbow and a wink. "Also it's a very hands on job, keeps me on my feet and moving around; sounds like the job for me, to be fair with you."

"Working as a mechanic will definitely keep you busy Alina." Klara smiled softly at her comrade. "Gives you a good skillset to have as well. It'll suit your energetic nature too." Her lips curled into a small, playful smirk as she spoke.

"Exactly! And it's something I'll be somewhat familiar with; granted I'll be fixing cars and trucks instead of tanks and weapons." Alina smiled at the woman opposite, before turning to face Nonna at the end of the table. "How about you, Leytenant? What are your plans for after the war?"

Nonna continued writing for a few quiet seconds before once again putting her pen down neatly beside her notebook and looking up towards Alina. "I'm not too sure myself." She began slowly. "I guess I could probably stay in the military for a while; whether in a combat unit or not, I'm unsure." The young officer smiled faintly. "Although, Kapitan Vostrov told me to tell you all that there are a few instructor roles available at the Kazan Tank School that will be opening up soon. They're looking for crewmen who had specifically served in Heavy Tank Brigades, like us. So, if any of you want to stay on and maybe become an instructor, he said he'll put in a good word for you."

Her crew nodded slowly in understanding, though only Klara spoke up in reply. "We'll think about it. Thanks, Nonna." She answered, flashing a smile at her commander.

"Yeah, tell the Kapitan we're grateful for his offer and will think about it." Anastasiya added, though a quick glance into her eyes already betrayed her true intentions.

"If you weren't going to stay in the army, what would you do?" Klara asked softly, after a few moments of silence had passed between them.

Nonna chuckled. "Maybe actually finish my studies in engineering, and then work in that field somewhere somehow." She shrugged whilst relaxing into her seat a little.

"Oh, you never finished university? How many years would you have left to complete your studies then?" Anastasiya quipped up, raising a brow in surprise at the revelation. "I always thought you had already graduated."

The former smirked a little. "I still have one year left before I can graduate. Though," A small sigh escaped Nonna's lips. "Transitioning from soldier back to student once more is going to be an… interesting experience."

"What was studying in university like, Leytenant?" Alina asked, her eyes lighting up slightly in curiosity, before quickly glancing at the card Anastasiya put down onto the middle of the table.

"Honestly, quite boring if you don't like sitting down and having someone talk at you for a couple of hours each day." Nonna stated as she gave her loader a kind wink. "But it was mostly the same; attending lectures, a lot of reading and studying. Doing work on my own to complete assignments. Occasional practical demonstrations on engineering concepts. Now repeat that for four years, and you'll graduate with a degree at the end as a mechanical engineer." She smiled playfully at the visual recoiling of Alina at hearing something so (in the loaders' mind) boring. "University isn't everyone's cup of tea." Nonna added, the smile becoming a small smirk.

"Yeah… I can tell." Alina stated slowly as both Klara and Anastasiya giggled at her visceral response. "Definitely not for me, then."

Nonna quickly scanned the notes she had just written into her notebook, her eyes darting left and right as she read each line, the soft rustle of the pages turning punctuating the now quiet room; the quiet only being momentarily broken as both Klara and Anastasiya continued placing and drawing cards on the table.

"Gotcha. I win."

Anastasiya's voice cut through the silence, causing Nonna to suddenly glance up and see a victorious grin etched on the formers' face whilst Klara's had a slight look of shock. She stayed still for a moment, before light-heartedly scoffing and placing her cards down. "Using the tactic I had used just before? Clever one, Ana. Clever."

"I learned from the best." Anastasiya cheekily replied, standing up and disappearing into the kitchen for a few short seconds, before re-appearing with a small bottle of vodka and four slightly dusty (but basically clean) glasses. "And since it's such a rarity I beat Klara at this, I think a drink is in order to celebrate this event." She smirked at Klara again as she quickly poured some into each glass and distributing it to each of them, sliding one across the table to Nonna, who nonchalantly caught it with her free hand and nodded in thanks.

Klara stood up with the glass held to her chest before turning to face Anastasiya with a small grin and raising her glass up. "To Ana, and her stunning victory." She stated mischievously.

"Aw, you flatter me, Klara." Anastasiya cheekily replied, giving her comrade a soft smile.

The room filled with warm laughter as rest of them, including Nonna, rose from their seats and reciprocated the toast, a soft clinking sound echoing around the room as the four of them quickly emptied the contents of their glasses.

Nonna glanced down at her notes once more, before gently closing her notebook and picking up the cigarette that lay next to it. "I'm going outside for some air; I'll be back in a little bit." She stated softly.

"Yep, no worries Leytenant."

The Leytenant flashed a small smile before heading out of the room, through the corridor, and out of the apartment.

---

26th April, 1945. 0220 Hours

The young woman stepped outside of the building and causally returned the salute from the two guards stationed outside. Turning a corner and quickly putting on her Pilotka, she leaned back slightly against the brick wall, taking out a lighter from her pocket and lit her cigarette; the warm, soft orange flame of the light momentarily lighting up the close vicinity as she brought the cigarette to her lips and took a long drag before sighing quietly, enjoying the relative stillness of the air around her, albeit regularly punctuated by the (not so) distant thundering and rumble of artillery and the ambient multitude of small arms chatter.

The gentle sound of footsteps caused her to turn her head to the source. She flashed a small smile upon seeing Klara slowly walk up towards her, cigarette gently held in between her fingers. "Can I join, Leytenant?" She asked quietly.

"Of course, Klara." Nonna replied, shuffling sideways a little to make space for her. Klara stood next to Nonna, lifting up the cigarette and placing it between her lips.

"You got a light, Leytenant?"

A soft click followed by the small orange flame dancing around in the night air illuminated the gunners' features, the bags under her eyes now visible on her pale skin; her light blue eyes glancing at the flame as she leaned forwards to light up before taking a drag.

The two of them stayed like this for a short while, side by side, simply enjoying one anothers' company. A soft scraping sound emanated around Klara put her foot against the wall and leaned back a little further; her head touching the bricks as she exhaled slowly. "Permission to speak freely, Leytenant?" She asked, turning to face Nonna.

"Of course." The latter replied quickly. "What's on your mind, Klara?"

"Were you being serious about staying in the army once this all finishes? Because in all honestly, Leytenant, you're too clever and valuable to spend a career and a significant amount of your time just staying in the army." Klara simply stated quietly. "You're a talented and clever woman, Nonna. You deserve a better life doing what you want to do; making a living working in the engineering field, instead of just staying as a tank commander, or instructor for that matter." She smiled faintly at her superior. "That's just my thoughts, though."

Nonna smiled, glancing over to Klara momentarily before focusing on the warm glow emanating from the tip of her cigarette. "Thank you, Klara. I really appreciate that you think so highly of me." She once again looked over to her before gently shrugging. "But honestly as I said earlier, I'm not too sure." Nonna began. "Do I want to finish my engineering degree? Quite so."

She brought her fingers close to her lips as she took another puff. "But at the same time, I honestly don't mind staying for another few years. I guess in a way, I'm comfortable with what I'm doing at the moment." Nonna smirked a little. "Maybe the reason I want to stay is because this is all I've known for the last couple of years? This lifestyle, this atmosphere. This brotherhood and sisterhood that we have is all I've known for this long. But I haven't figured it out yet. What I want to do, that is."

Klara smiled at the words her commander had just spoken. "I mean either way, I know for a fact you will excel and do amazing in whatever path you decide to go for, be it stay in the army or finish your studies." She softly looked at Nonna, who chuckled and glanced at her feet in a futile attempt to hide her smile.

"Thank you, but no need to flatter me like that." She joked, attempting to hide the growing redness on her cheeks.

"It's not flattering when its true, Leytenant." The former kindly responded, casting another look at Nonna once more. Silence fell upon the two of them once more as both of them continued to wordlessly contemplate the words the other had just spoken.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Nonna suddenly spoke up.

"What is?"

Nonna took another drag, gently exhaling the silverly tendrils of wispy smoke form her mouth and nose. "If all of this never happened, how different would our lives be?" She wondered out loud. "I'd have graduated with a degree by now, maybe working as an engineer as well. I'd have never met you, or Alina and Ana for that matter." A dry chuckle escaped her lips. "We wouldn't have spent hundreds of hours cramped up together in a hot, sweaty, gunpowder and oil filled metal box. We wouldn't have been fighting for our lives each and every day, seeing all the shit we have seen, and all the hell that this war has thrown at us."

Klara nodded slowly, flicking her wrist to allow some of the ash to dispense itself from the end of her cigarette. "Life would've been a lot simpler if the Germans didn't decide to invade." She stated, her gaze remained transfixed towards the night sky as she spoke. "Our lives would be so different. But I'd still be working in that canning factory in Moscow with no real purpose; just working day in and day out without a clear future for myself, honestly." She sighed slightly. "I wouldn't have met Alina and Ana. I wouldn't have met you. In a way, the war and fighting alongside you and the rest of the girls have given me a purpose."

"Wouldn't have had a chance to work in internal security, given your father works the as well?" Nonna questioned. Klara scoffed.

"Yes, but he wouldn't have wanted me to. At the time, he probably didn't think I'd be able to handle a life in the military." A small smirk crossed her features. "But now, he's changed his tune. I don't think he'd mind if I transferred to internal security now. So, for me, that is an option now." Klara took one last drag before lazily tossing the smouldering remains of the cigarette onto the floor.

Nonna quickly did the same, whilst tilting her head back and exhaling once more as she did so. "How likely do you think we'll see them again once this war finishes? Ana and Alina, that is?" She asked quietly turning to look at Klara. "They both most probably will leave the army and head back to their hometowns after this; I think Alina is from the Smolensk area? And Ana is from a village near Kokhma?" A somewhat forlorn sigh emanated from the young officer. "Realistically we probably won't, given how far they are from Moscow. They wouldn't have the need to travel there, in all honesty. So, we may not see them again for the foreseeable future." Nonna looked down at her feet once more. "It's sad really, knowing that we may not see each other again after all of this." She muttered quietly. "I'm going miss them. And miss you as well." She looked at Klara with a slightly melancholy gaze.

Klara chuckled a little. "You forget that whilst I'm from Ryazan, I lived in Moscow before the war, and will most likely continue to. So, you won't be rid of me that easily, Leytenant. We might bump into each other." Seeing Nonna chortle, she smiled; though a small sigh also emanated from the gunner. "But I do get your point, Nonna. I'm not sure when or how we might see everybody together once all this is over. But it's an interesting situation, isn't it?" She gently spoke.

"What is?"

"This war has connected people who, in normal circumstances, would've had no business being together. Be it a woman working a canning factory from Moscow like me, or the daughter of a high-ranking Red Army officer who is also studying to become a mechanical engineer." Klara continued. "A young woman from Smolensk who worked in a textile factory, and a woman from Kokhma who was a carer to her ailing mother." She smiled faintly. "In a normal world, these people would've never met, let alone interacted and gotten to know one another so well. But we have. And we've formed an unbreakable sisterhood as a result. Well, I hope so, anyways." The young woman rubbed her eyes carefully before smiling at her superior. "I do hope though, that we can and will reunite with one another someday down the line."

Nonna stretched silently, the clicking of her neck leading to a contented sigh a few seconds later. "I sure do hope we can, Klara." She put a soft hand onto the latter's shoulder. "We've all gone through and experienced so much together. All the memories of the good times we've had together, the darkest days, and the lowest of lows as well. It's an experience that we have; a burden and shared journey that won't be emulated again."

Klara nodded slowly, a slight sardonic smile on her face as she listened to what Nonna had just said. "It is a burden we all will share."

The two of them remained quiet for a little while, taking in and making the most of the (relatively) quiet night that was seldomly offered to them. Nonna then suddenly looked down at her watch. "Ah shit." She muttered. "I need to get that report I wrote to Kapitan Vostrov before 0300 hours."

The woman next to her nodded in understanding. "Shall we head back in then?" Klara asked, tilting her head slightly as an invitation to begin walking back inside.

As the pair began to walk back inside and upstairs, Nonna silently pondered the sentence Klara had spoken to her just a few minutes prior.

'It is a burden we all will share.'

In her mind, Nonna knew Klara was right. They; Anastasiya, Alina, Klara, and herself all share a burden. The experience of this war. They all had a part to play in each other's stories; and it would be a fragment, however large or small, that they would carry each and every day for the rest of their lives.

The shared feelings and emotions of loss, pain, suffering, doubt and everything that came with it.

The camaraderie and bonds they had fostered and grown over the time they had known each other.

A sense of family, of belonging.

A shared determination to fight; to avenge their fallen.

To exact their revenge and finally take down the German invaders, once and for all.

---

Notes:

Well, I certainly didn't expect this chapter to take more than 1.5 years to finish. If people thought this story was dead and/or abandoned, I wouldn't blame you for thinking that was the case.

So first and foremost, I want to apologise to all of you for not updating for this long.

In all honesty, the mix of working a full time job and a subesquent loss of motivation to write as a result has definitely taken a toll on my writing endevours. I had already started writing this chapter over a year ago, but efforts to continue ran out of steam due to starting said full time job and adjusting to the new routine it gave me. So for a long while, this chapter lay gathering dust. But over the last half year or so, I made it a goal to try and get this chapter done by the end of 2024. So I kept on writing, a little bit a week at a time. And I guess I've finally made it :)

Again, my sincere apologies for leaving this not updated for so long for you all. Though once again, I want to thank all those that are still around who want to read this story. It means so so much to me for sticking around, even with my extremely inconsistent updates.

I do intend to finish this story one way or another, but it will probably take a long time. If you're still in it for the ride, again, thank you so much for putting up with these inconsistent updates :)

But anyways, we thought that having a chapter that further explores the motivations, reasons and thoughts of the crews on both sides would be a nice addition. Who are they fighting for, why they are fighting. Seeing Erika/Felix finally come to (verbal) blows in an argument that boiled over into releasing their deep-seeded thoughts and lamentations, but bringing back and reinforcing the idea of brotherhood/sisterhood - staying and working as a team to face the inevitable together, whatever that may be. Also exploring a bit more the bond that Maho and Erwin have for one another, even in such a dire situation.

It was also nice to give a deeper glimpse into the lives of Nonna, Klara, Alina and Anastasiya; what are they fighting for. Their ambitions, dreams and wishes for once this war is finished. Hopefully you all found it interesting to read and explore!

Anyways, I hope you have enjoyed this chapter and are enjoying the story so far; as usual, any feedback is welcome, just leave a review.

Take care, and stay safe all of you,

Deathvoltz
LisaEichwald21

Translations for German words/terms/dialogue will be posted below. (Sorry if they are not accurate; I do not speak, nor learn German)

"Schatzi" = A common German term of endearment, meaning "little treasure".

Translations for Russian words/terms/dialouge will be posted below. (Sorry if they are not accurate; I do not speak, nor learn Russian)

"Majór" = Major

"Mládshiy Leytenánt" = Junior Lieutenant

"Podpolkóvnik" = Lieutenant colonel

"Polkóvnik" = Colonel

"Stárshiy Serzhánt" = Senior Sergeant

As always, any reviews with constructive critisism would be welcome.

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