Happy Holidays! I know some chapters have been a little shorter than usual but that's mostly cuz I've just been trynna give vibes and develop relationships. We're making turns!

I also keep mistyping counselor like every chapter so there's a fun easter egg for ya'll. :}

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The counselor thought he was looking through the door of the past at the disputing parents. With the parent-teacher conference gathered to settle details on the children's fight the other day and coming to no agreement whatsoever. But unable to get in a single word, Kyle wondered when they'd become like their own parents. Disagreeing to no end with highly egocentric opinions.

Most parents went at it except Heidi who sat front row of school's old, shaded library. Exchanging eyes with the table of educators in front as she sipped on a paper cup of the provided stale coffee. The panel was just that of PC, Strongwoman, Kyle, Heather Williams, and a fifth-grade teacher. Seeing as the dispute was between students of their opposing classes. And the parents seemed keen on determining who started the fight specifically.

Another parent stayed silent on his end of the sea of irrational adults. With Cartman not really putting any words in regarding his daughter, Kyle wondered if that answered how the fight began.

"How could you people let this happen?!" Tiffany Lanskin spoke up. "We pay you to watch our kids!"

Heidi sighed while Kyle gave her a tired look. Tiffany took the reigns as the head of the PTA knowing very few might disagree with her. And very few did as her demand silenced the crowd.

"Ms. Lanskin this happened after final period, unfortunately it's easier for the kids to get away with trouble." PC explained.

"Doesn't mean we're not partially responsible," Kyle tried to reason to stay on the mother's good side. "But, this isn't the first time kids have fought. Even so, we take physical altercations very seriously."

"You better. I chose to send my kid here when I could easily take him back to Cherry Creek!"

Heidi fidgeted in her seat, exhausted over the prestigious Upper-Denver arguments. Most of these moms weren't from South Park and had married to come down here, Tiffany included, leaving Heidi in a small majority of South Park-bound moms. Weirdly enough. The Denver mothers never liked the town's look from the beginning and always tried to put their own makeover on it by being shit-disturbers since day one. Heidi was frankly over it considering these women had no issues taking hits on Heidi's own parenting.

"Parents, we advise that everyone has a discussion with their kids tonight," Kyle said, trying to address everyone including the mechanic in the corner. "Regarding what makes them feel obliged to behave this way."

Heidi was gonna stay quiet for the remainder until Tiffany opened her big mouth again.

"Well, the little redhead is your kid! If he can't behave with that type of psychiatric parenting, there's clearly something else going on in the home!"

Kyle tried to refute before his wife in the pear sweater jumped up.

"Oh my GOD! Let's not forget that your son has been lashing out since you started ignoring him! You'd much rather be sucking down olive martinis at Le Place every Thursday night than go home to dinner with your husband and kids!"

Tiffany gawked silently and Heidi's pale cheeks flushed dark. After a moment of uncomfortable shock quieted the library, one busted out with snickers snorted into his palm as all looked over to him. Seeing the auto shop man whose daughter was in the fight giggling like a fool. Attempting to hide that wicked laughter Kyle hadn't heard from Cartman since high school.

Other parents suddenly couldn't help themselves too, bursting out in dying of laughter as Heidi awkwardly sat back down and Tiffany glared her way.

"Okay, everyone take it easy," Kyle tried to gain control back. "I'm not here to defend my kid and say he did nothing wrong. I just don't expect everyone else to do the same either. Even those whose kids were just bystanders I suggest talking to, we want to encourage a healthier conversation in our school.

PC thought he might just eat these words as he drummed his fingers to question it. "Mr. Cartman?"

The same man felt eyes on him and he calmed and looked back still with an amused grin.

"Do you have anything to say involving your daughter?"

"What's to say?" He clammed up, scoffing practically from Kyle not looking his way. "The kid doesn't ask for trouble but she's an easy target."

PC sighed, supposing that was the best they'd get. The counselor rolled his eyes as if Cartman couldn't see from a mile away.

"Parents, when we see this stuff happen, we call it what it is and punish all kids. I encourage you to get them to talk so this doesn't come into our halls again."

The adults were dismissed, and Cartman huffed as the last to get up from his chair. Whatever happened to letting kids fend for themselves? He looked over to where Kyle gathered his things as his wife approached.

Heidi seemed visibly upset, muttering something under her breath. Maybe an apology as Kyle smiled and took her by the arms sharing some gentle PDA as Cartman dipped with the crowd.

With Heidi's tender nature and Kyle's over-philosophical bullshit; Those Brofvloski kids might just grow up to be pussies. At least his kid would have some backbone the way her parents never wiped her tears.

"And then when Asher tried to grab Adam, he kicked the living shit out of that snot-nose!"

Adam tried to block out the recap Liam explained to Remi that afternoon in the computer lab. Lilah and Adam seemed to be the only ones attempting to do any work as Remi hung on every word Liam brought through with all other fourth graders focused on their projects.

"It wasn't a big deal." The Broflovski boy shut down, doing research though he felt like he was carrying the whole group.

"Did you punch him?" Remi asked.

"Tried to, they're like buildings."

Lilah clicked away from an article on reality TV that wasn't helping. "It was my fault, anyway.."

"How?" Adam genuinely asked. "You didn't start it."

"I got you involved."

"I got myself involved."

"Guys," Ms. Mertz called from the front of the lab, eyeing their group particularly. "I'm hearing a lot of chatter that has nothing to do with your research projects. Ms. Williams only has you in here for an hour. Chop, chop!"

The kids dipped their noses back to their screens, though Adam subtly threw another nudge to Liam. "You were no help."

Liam flicked a paper football dented between his index finger and the desk, promptly hitting Lillian in the back of the head who whipped around. Liam looked every which way but her as she stuck her tongue out. "I was rooting for you."

"Yeah, you were a real cheerleader."

Lilah didn't want to indulge over it. The fight wasn't the first time she'd been targeted, but it was the first time she got someone involved she really didn't want sticking their neck out for her.

"Have they bothered you before?" Adam asked.

The girl drew away from the computer, sitting back as she played with her overall pins again. "Not like that, but they've mentioned the CPS rumours.."

"I think everyone has," Liam began folding another football as Remi slapped him on the arm. "Ow!"

"Fuck them," Adam bit. "They wouldn't last a goddamn day in the system."

Lilah would be curious to see how boys with such uppity families like theirs would survive under her mother's roof. Or her dad for that matter. She felt like she barely knew Eric Cartman and yet was somehow his preferred option as a daughter than some sixth-grade diaper babies.

"Have they bothered you?"

The redhead picked up on her worrisome. "Not really, I'm fine. They hate all fourthies so I'm not special."

His new friend wondered then if she was the special exception. Adam immediately took it back.

"Not that you're different! I mean you are..but-! Not badly!"

"Smooth, broski." Liam cackled.

"Boys." Ms. Mertz called. "Last warning."

Liam made an ugly face once the teacher's back was turned.

"Friday can't come sooner," Adam urged.

"What's Friday?" Lilah whispered.

"Our Uncle Stan is coming home from deployment. Him and Aunt Wendy will be over for dinner."

Another healthy family dinner Lilah could assume. She wished her lack-of-family could take notes if her dad didn't seem to avoid his childhood classmates like the plague. Adam lit up in a burst of excitement.

"Hey, you should come!"

"Lilah?" Ms. Mertz called from the front. The girl froze in fear of more trouble. "Relax, it's time for you to go."

The Cartman girl gathered her books as she shut down her monitor, not answering the redhead. "Where you going?"

"Mandatory services visit with my dad. Should be loads of fun."

Adam nodded, seeing the more comfortable Lilah got the more a sarcastic nature was revealed about her. It was kind of hilarious, and maybe she shared more with her dad than deemed. "Sounds like it."

Lilah slipped out of the row. "Yeah, I'm on cloud nine."

Kyle waisted away at his desk after this morning's wildly unproductive parent-teacher meeting. He'd been the one to suggest it to PC, and now that parents were even more heated than before, it was falling back on the counselor's shoulders.

After the dreaded detention that day, he really didn't wanna fall to the conclusion that Adam started all this. His kid would protect his friends to the ends of the earth, but he did not start fights. But Adam's attitude following that detention spoke differently to Kyle.

"It wasn't her fault! They were going after her!"

Kyle had a hard time believing anything coming out of his kid's mouth as he paced across Adam's bedroom floor. Heidi hung out in the doorway as she failed to intervene with her husband so high in frustration.

"Then who's fault was it?"

"Dylan and that bitch Asher that follows him around!"

"Hey!" Kyle pointed daggered eyes at his son sitting at the edge of his bed. A much younger version of Kyle came to mind as Heidi watched her kid's face get heated to a redder shade of anger. "You don't use that language period, so you definitely don't in front of us!"

"Says you!" Adam slid off the edge of his bed. "I heard what you were saying to mom! That Mr. Cartman can't just get redemption from taking in a girl!"

"Bug. There's nothing-"

"You think I don't get you hate his living guts? That you're holding on to some fourth-grade revenge? And I'm the one who's got a temper?!"

"I've had it with this acting out, and whoever started it, you and Lilah were both found in the middle of it! This isn't like you!"

Kyle held a hand of red curls in his palm, calmly coaxing the angry voice of his mother out of him. He spent so much time trying to avoid becoming like his dad, he really stepped into the shoes of Sheila once he was a parent.

"Like you know me at all, dad!"

"Mr. Broflovski?"

The counselor looked up at the tiny teary-eyed second-grader sitting across his desk from him. Barely speaking at a peep level when the kid stopped talking entirely as he noticed the adult fading out.

"Oh," he realized he was still promptly in the middle of a session. "I'm sorry Charlie, I'm not being very helpful."

"Am I talking too much..?"

"No, not at all," Kyle tried to assure. Way to go on losing focus when an eight-year-old was pouring his heart out on his parents' divorce. "Is there anything else you want to say..?"

He promptly shook his head.

"Okay," Kyle felt ashamed to let his own troubles distract him from doing his job to help other's troubles. "It's okay to feel these things, Charlie. And it's okay to talk to your parents, I'm sure they'll appreciate it loads."

"Okay.."

Kyle got up to escort the kid out the door, wrapping up his final session with an overcompensating smile. "Have a good day."

His office door shut, and the man groaned against an open palm. Ready to call quits on letting this whole Cartman thing unravel. There was hardly even a thing to begin with, it was just Kyle's old-school paranoia. As he fell back into his office chair, Kyle wondered if his childhood would always be a sore spot when it came to not trusting so easily again.

The intercom on his desk buzzed. "Mr. Broflovski, just confirming that Lilah Cartman has early dismissal for a CPS visit?"

He held a finger down on the speaker, still slumped in his chair. "Yes, that's fine."

It buzzed again, the clerk's voice gargling through. "We need you to sign a pick-up form to mandate to the service workers that the temporary guardian has come to pick up the child. He's out here waiting."

Eyes popped open underneath distressed ginger brows, scrambling up in his chair. "Right, um, PC or Strong Woman are unavailable?"

There was a slight hesitance. "The students' well-being is your job, sir."

That it was. Kyle swung his feet down to get up, latching the middle button of his orange jacket as if gearing for war and promptly going to leave his office shared with the school's front reception. As he opened the door where the clerk sorted the papers handed off to her from the desk front, the parent waited. Arms crossed over his auto shop uniform and just as reluctant for this process ahead of them.

The brunette man looked up, eyes aged but just as spiteful as when they were young. Kyle simply stared back with a mere blankness.

"Mr. Broflovski?"

Realizing she waited on him, Kyle came around to pull forward the document on the desktop as he was handed off the pen. Reading through as it was mandatory though the young clerk was right over his shoulder.

"Just basics that the child was handed off on time, the guardian hasn't shown up breaking AA rules-"

"Got it, Joan." Kyle shut down, signing the damn thing quickly. Cartman watched him scribble the pen with complete avoidance of his presence. "There."

"I'll go fetch Lilah at her locker!"

Completely unnecessary for the enthusiastic woman to do, Kyle exchanged quick uncomfortable glances with Cartman. "Oh, Joan, that's not-"

"There's fresh coffee, I'll be back!"

And poof she went. Leaving two men with an entire history unfolded in the tiny office they often found themselves in as children. The last time Kyle had shared this room with Cartman had probably been on account of something idiotic the latter did. Here they were decades later signing these papers on account of other stupid things Cartman did. And yet Kyle had been making a whole lot of assumptions lately without exchanging one word with the fellow dad.

"Hey, Cartman."

The man just standing there stiffly looked up at his familiar call. Not sure if the guy with the nicer job would even acknowledge him the way he used to after all this time.

"'Sup.."

Kyle shrugged his brows, patting his pockets in completely uncomfortable fidgeting. "She's a..cute kid."

Cartman cleared his throat to cut the tense air. "I guess that's half my doing."

His ex-frenemy barely smiled at the poorly attempted joke. Knowing no end to this where things would be all peachy. Kyle had accepted long ago that life would never wrap up with Cartman in a pretty little bow when there was simply too much history and bad blood for that to happen. Especially bringing Heidi into that situation, and now a kid Cartman owned that was partially Kyle's responsibility during school hours. The counselor remembered what PC told him, it was his job to call CPS if Lilah seemed at all at risk under Cartman's watch. Did Kyle even consider this? Maybe in the very buried resentful core of his soul. But realistically, Kyle couldn't wish the system on Lilah when he barely knew Cartman anymore. All he knew was the past. And the only assumptions Kyle could ever make of Cartman was of the kid he knew back then.

After the fight, Kyle feared Adam was more close to Lilah than intended. It was the most innocent thing, yet Kyle didn't know what went on enough in Cartman's home that might just reach his son somehow.

"Look, I know that fight got out of hand," Kyle started. Cartman gave him a tired look, ready for a speech his rival had never outgrown. "But, I don't blame Lilah for anything. I just don't want whatever your impression or what impression you gave Lilah to unravel into something ugly with Adam. Haven't we both gone through that enough already?"

"I never told Lilah anything about you or your kids."

He said it shortly but weirdly prepared. Kyle, again, was just not easy to give trust.

Joan quickly returned with Lilah at her side. "Ta-da! Look who I found!"

Lilah came to meet her dad. "Do we have to..?"

"I don't want to any more than you, kid." Cartman shrugged taking the paper Kyle signed. "Thanks.."

"Mr. Broflovski?"

Kyle looked down at the pitchier voice and the small hand holding out a roughly folded paper. Lilah burried her hands behind her back once he took it, looking practiced for her presentation. "I'm sorry what happened with Adam, he was just trying to help."

Realizing the scribbled words were that of an apology letter, oddly formatted formally by a nine-year-old, Kyle was startled. "It's okay, Lilah. Thank you."

Lilah waited on her dad as Cartman took her by the shoulder to leave. "Some influence I am, huh?"

Once the small family of two was gone, Kyle let his shoulders slack that had been stiff in keeping his guard up. Joan cluelessly went back to work as Kyle retreated to his office where he could hide for the rest of the day, just getting a phone call from his best friend who was officially on leave from the Space Force.

"Hey, dude! Just landed in Denver with Wendy, we're heading down Thursday night."

Kyle grinned a little frenziedly. "Can't get you guys here soon enough."

"I'll bet. What've I missed?"

"You'll get caught up."

. . .

"What was that about?"

Cartman and his kid barely left the school when she asked, straying the hallway that gave Cartman a frightful recount of too many memories. "What was what?"

"With Mr. Broflovski."

"Nothing."

"You talked to him like you talk to mom."

He knew exactly what she was implying despite his denial. How Cartman absolutely could not stand another ill person from his past trying to start anything with him, even if Kyle was just being a reasonable smartass per usual. While Kyle and Sasha were definitely not two of a kind, they were both equally a headache for Cartman.

"I talk to most people like your mom."

"No you don't. You just hate most people."

"I hate your mom."

"I know that."

Cartman nudged her shoulder to get her to stop blabbering. "Well, aren't you a wise guy."

He wasn't expecting her to giggle, he looked down at the little girl who hadn't smiled genuinley at him in years. Not since she barely had teeth as a toddler.

"Oh, hello."

Both Cartmans looked up at the chipper greeting, Eric's comfort deflating as his ex had turned the corner to come toe-to-toe with them. Straying an empty school hallway as well presumably to go see her husband.

"Hey," Cartman greeted, not seeing much of Heidi since their cute little grocery run-in. "Uh, how you doin'?"

"Just fine, you?" Heidi replied. She seemed much more natural at conversation than she had been as a timid little girl. Cartman always knew he had a lot to do with her insecurity throughout childhood. "Some fun PTA meeting, huh?"

He instantly re-lived when he lost control over her outburst. Knowing she probably paid full attention to his insane laughter. "Yeah, sorry.."

"It's fine," she chuckled. "Someone was gonna lose it at Tiffany if I didn't beat them to it."

Cartman barely knew some of those other parents, but could tell this new wave of Denver moms were a pill. He could imagine if he'd been a full-time dad since the beginning that he wouldn't be able to handle it. "I guess all the Chanel fumes finally got to their brains."

Heidi smiled in agreement, looking down then at the small girl by Cartman's side.

"Oh," Cartman remembered. "Um, this is Lilah."

Heidi bent to the child's level. "Hello, Lilah. I'm Heidi, Adam's mother."

With the mask unveiled, Lilah instantly wished this had happened before the fight. "Oh, 'hullo."

"Goodness, you're adorable." Heidi gushed. "I could eat you."

A little startling considering all the adults that had actually threatened her before, but Lilah knew what she meant as she tried to smile.

"I wouldn't, she'd taste like rainbows and sunshine." Cartman joked.

Heidi rose to the man's level. "I was on my way to pick up Ella for the doctor's but it's nice to see you both."

"Yeah."

An idea quickly came to mind as Heidi bravely treaded sensitive territory. "Hey, Stan is coming home on leave from the army. Him and Wendy are flying in for a visit."

At the mention of another old friend, Cartman just nodded curtly. It killed him to act this civil when Stan was just another example of a childhood friend who made it big when Cartman was left in the dust. "Nice.."

"There's a dinner Friday, we're having some of the parents and kids over."

"Uh-huh."

"I know Adam would love to have Lilah come."

"Cool.." he muttered.

Heidi hated that he was acting like he couldn't catch on. "Eric, would you like to join us?"

"Um," he didn't know how genuine this invitation was. Yet even if Heidi was fine with it, he could think of a particular person who wouldn't be. "I'm good, thanks. But, Lilah can go."

She really did want to give him the chance while they were on equal ground. "Are you sure..?"

"Yeah," he insisted a little more assuredly. As if he was trying to make sure she knew he wasn't mad or resentful. "Lilah can hitch a ride with the Tucker-Tweaks."

Heidi smiled. "Sounds like a plan."

Cartman looked at his daughter lighten up just a bit more, knowing he'd at least done something right.

"Just..don't keep her too late. I'll pick her up at nine."

To be continued...