Author's Note: SO! It has been... awhile. I told you this chapter would be MASSIVE. It totals out at 4,856 words... and that's with taking SEVERAL events out and saving them for NEXT chapter. I truncated as much as I could. It's been a LONG time since I had a chapter this massive come out. In fact, I think this might be the longest one I've written yet... ANYWAY! ONWARDS!

Shout Outs to my TONS of amazing new followers (there are a total of 26 of you beautiful people): Singerz, IAM95, 0rainbowcookiez0, DSDestined, Belbelanne, SemmelmitKse, and cookiepandaluv THANK YOU FOR THE AWESOME OUTPOURING OF SUPPORT!

Most of you wonderful new followers also favorite-d the story as well! We are up to 14 favorites! WOW! I never thought I'd have this much response on a simple little story that I write purely for fun and share purely for the love of writing. I am so so so blessed to have everyone who reads, reviews, favorites, and follows. Thank you from the bottom of my worn-out teacher heart.

PLEASE! Enjoy this chapter and (once again) thank you for reading the story (and these ramblings)! I do it for you! I do it for LOVE!

Chapter 15

Elena sat sullenly on the edge of Cullen's desk, watching him prepare his saddlebags and packs for the journey to the Western Approach in Orlais while she sharpened his sword. Cullen had done a good job of making her forget about her wounded pride the past several days, but with his looming departure she had renewed her petulance and it was now mixed with an intense concern for his safety. The work of tending to his weapons helped her keep hold of her composure, but it by no-means caused her to lose track of time or other thoughts. Cullen, himself, was abnormally quiet as he went about his task. He'd yet to put on his armor and the soft shush of his cotton and leather clothes was largely what filled the air between them. This was unusual for them as of late. Elena had found that there was hardly a sound she preferred over the warm, refined tones of Cullen's voice. She never cared what he spoke about, just so long as he spoke. It felt as if she was trying to fill herself up with the sound so she would never run out if he were to fall at Adamant.

She blinked to clear her suddenly blurry vision and noticed that her hands had grown still. She brushed the back of her hand across her face and resumed work on the blade in her lap. Elena held up the sword and eyed the edge critically before dragging a piece of paper across it. The paper split in two with a satisfying sound. Smiling slightly at a job well-done, she slid the sword into its sheath and set it to the side before picking up Cullen's belt dagger. As she pusheded the whetstone across the edge, she could hear him beginning to put on his armor, the buckles and straps lightly jingling and jangling as they bounced against each other and the metal plates.

At length, he thrust his arm in front of her with a frustrated grunt, "I can't get this damn lace to do right!"

Elena put the dagger back into its sheath and took his arm in her hands, adjusting the leather bracer to where it lay smoother against his arm, "Breathe. It's just a lace." She told him calmly, even though her fingers shook slightly as she pulled the strings to an even tightness against his muscled forearm.

"It's not 'just a lace.'" He began, holding out the second arm to her, "It could very well mean the difference between me keeping the arm or losing it."

"So morbid…" Elena chastised gently, letting his arm drop from her grasp, "You'd think that you should be more positive. Adamant and any fighting is at least a week away from now."

Cullen sighed heavily and bent to attach his greaves to his shins, "It's best to remain realistic in these situations. I of all people cannot afford to underestimate the coming battle… too many lives depend upon—"

"Please, stop talking about it." Elena stated shortly, cutting him off.

Cullen blinked at her, "Elena… are you really this upset about not coming?"

She looked away from him, "I'm not upset about not going anymore. My entire squadron is staying here, not just my crew, but… knowing you and my brother are going there with the plan to fight is an entirely different thing. All of our previous battles haven't been planned. We've just had them thrust on us… there really was no time to worry." She trailed off as she removed herself from the desk. She went to the window and looked out at the mountainside surrounding Skyhold, "Everything is about to change again, isn't it?"

Cullen gently tugged her to face him, "Everyone is on edge, Elena. You are not alone in these worries."

She gave him a small smile. "Promise me you'll come home in one piece?"

"That's a promise that I am afraid I cannot in good conscience make. It's too easily broken."

Elena rolled her eyes, "Why must you be so honest?"

Cullen shrugged, "It's a curse, really." He turned and gathered his packs before walking out into the sunshine and down to the stables. She followed, hoisting his saddlebags over her shoulders as she did so. He came to a stop next to his horse, which had already been saddled and bridled. Elena slung his saddlebags across the animal's broad back and turned to face the commander as he finished handing off the larger packs in his arms to a stable hand. He turned to look at her over his shoulder and gave her a smug smile as if to say "What? I know I'm handsome." Elena looped her arms around his waist and pushed her face into his fur cowl.

"Look at the love birds, boss!" Iron Bull's boisterous voice sliced through the air like a whip, sending them both leaping away from each other. Quickly, Elena assumed a what-she-hoped-looked-casual stance by the horse, fiddling with the girth straps. Cullen stood away, hands pushed against his lower back and looking up at the sky as if considering the weather. Iron Bull, meanwhile, was laughing loudly at their startled responses.

Erik's laughter joined in, "Bull, you scared them half-to-death. I hardly think that's fair. Lane, I thought for sure you would be sulking in the tower. It's nice to see you've granted us with your presence." He teased, pulling gently on one of her braids as he came to a stop next to her.

Elena reached up and fixed her braid back, rolling her eyes, "As if I would miss the chance to say good bye to my darling, favorite older brother…. Where is Adrian, by the way?"

Erik shoved her lightly, "Stop that. You and I both know that Adrian would never have as much fun with you as I do! Cullen is so mean making you stay behind like this!"

"It wasn't Cullen's idea and you know it."

Erik clasped a hand to his heart, "You wound me!" He paused and stood seriously in front of her, "All joking and dramatics aside, I am going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too." She told him as they hugged, "Be safe out there."

"Well, as safe as I can be fighting the forces of an evil greater than any this world has seen since the last Blight."

"Must you ruin every nice moment we have?"

Erik winked at her and swung up onto his horse, "It's a compulsion I can't control." He turned in his saddle to survey his mounted officers, a gleam of pride in his blue eyes. "Inquisition!" The gathered officers grew quiet until the only sound in the stable yard was the shifting of hooves on stone and the jangle of harnesses, "Today we ride for the Western Approach to put a stop to a horror we never thought possible. If we do our job well, we can change history for the better. We ride not just for the Inquisition, but for all of Thedas. Now, with me! Move out!" He looked down at Elena and smiled, "Pretty good?" He asked as his horse began to walk past her.

Elena shrugged, "I'll give it a passing mark. Until we meet again, brother…" She slapped his horse's rear playfully as it moved past her.

"Until then!" He called, moving beyond a comfortable range for conversation. Elena stood and watched the men and women who led the Inquisition's army file past her locked in comfortable conversation with each other. She waved to Iron Bull and Blackwall. Dorian blew her a dramatic kiss as he rode past, which she returned. Finally, at the tail end of the column, Cullen pulled his horse to a halt. She looked up at him and swallowed past the lump in her throat.

"Elena… Before I go," He dismounted and took her hands in his, "I don't want to leave anything left unsaid between us. Surely, you know by now how I feel about you, but I don't want to go into battle knowing that we left anything uncertain." His amber eyes searched hers. Elena felt her heart start to pound as he pulled her into his arms, one hand moving up to brush a few hairs that had worked themselves loose from her braid from her cheek, the other resting firmly around her waist. He leaned in closer until their lips were barely a breath apart. She could feel the slight chill from his breastplate pressing against her own chest, the smooth roughness of his leather gloves on her skin, the soft fur of his cowl brushing against her neck, and the warmth of his breath as it blew over her mouth. "What I'm trying to say is that I—"

There was a clatter of hooves and a voice, "Commander!"

Abruptly, Cullen released Elena and rounded on the messenger, every line of his body tense with anger, "What!" He barked out harshly. Elena felt her lips turn down in an equally disgruntled frown, but she couldn't help feeling rather impressed at the level of communication carried out by that single word.

The messenger backed her horse up several steps, "The Inquisitor is waiting for you at the head of the column." She stated nervously, "Your presence is requested immediately."

"Tell him I'm coming." Cullen growled. The messenger nodded and whipped her horse around and off just as quickly as she had arrived. "I'm sorry, Elena. I've got to go." He swung back onto his horse and leaned down, cradling her cheek in his hand. She stood on her tiptoes and captured his lips in a farewell kiss. "I promise to come back to you in one piece." He said as they pulled apart. He clucked to his horse and cantered off. Elena watched him go, frozen in place. Was he about to tell me he loves me? She touched her lips, thinking deeply, she could still feel the slight scratch of his stubble and the warmth of his kiss there. What would I have said in return?

"Thought I might find you here." Marston's rumbling voice broke through her reverie.

"What?" Elena looked up, meeting Marston's icy blue eyes with her own. "I'm sorry. I didn't catch that."

Marston hooked a thumb into his belt loop and cocked his head to one side, "You all right?"

Elena nodded, pulling her hand away from her mouth, "Never better. Let's gather the troops and talk business a bit. Then, we can relax. With the Inquisition's main force so close by right now, we really don't have to worry. It's a good time to plan."

"You don't waste a minute, do you?"

"Not when I've got responsibilities to take care of. Come on; help me get everyone together in the courtyard. It won't take long to lay out our plan for the next couple weeks." She motioned him to follow her as she started up the main stairs to the courtyard. Marston chuckled and fell into step beside her.

"Yes ma'am."

The next couple of weeks went back smoothly and without problem. This didn't help to speed the time along, but it certainly wasn't a negative occurrence. Elena thanked the Maker for the peace around Skyhold, but she also cursed him because the relative calm of Skyhold left her more time than she cared for to worry. She worried about her brother and his companions, any word Leliana received was guarded closely and Josephine was no help. All the wheedling attempts to gain information about the state of affairs in the Western Approach Elena could muster only supplied her with basic information from weeks prior. For instance, Elena had learned and relearned that Griffon Wing keep was now in Inquisition control and was actually quite a beneficial fortification. It was close to the Abyssal Rift, but not so close as to be like Adamant, which Josephine worried about falling into the Rift during the battle. At this utterance Josephine had quickly shooed Elena from her study and locked the door behind her.

Elena hated being purposefully kept in the dark like that. Leliana was even worse. Whenever Elena would casually wander up to the raven rookery to see if any letters had arrived for her… Leliana would conveniently be missing or too busy to speak at length. She supposed a good spy master would know the movements of any and all important peoples within the confines of the castle at any given moment, but even a good spy master had to be caught out from time to time. Elena thought it was a testament to Leliana's superb abilities that she was totally unable to catch the older woman off-guard or unprepared for her presence. Of course, that meant that Elena had to simply wait and see what would happen when the soldiers trickled back into the safety of Skyhold.

In the meantime, Marston tried his best to keep her occupied. He'd go on long horse rides with her to survey the perimeter, telling stories from his colorful childhood. Elena learned he had been a somewhat notorious figure in his hometown. He wasn't involved in anything illegal, but being the town flirt had its own perks and draw-backs. He showed her several scars he received from knife fights with men who were defending their sister, wife, or even in some cases, daughter's honor. Elena believed him. It was easy to see how women would fall for Marston's striking blue eyes and ruggedly good looks. He had an easy way about him when he allowed himself to relax and just be. Lately, he'd let go of whatever caused him to be protective of her and she found herself seeking him out from time to time in lieu of Porteur or even Reeves. It had become difficult to find either of them separate from the other as of late.

"Elena, can I ask you something?" Marston started on one of their perimeter checks, tugging his horse to a halt next to a stream. Elena pulled up next to him and waited while their horses drank the water. "What're you going to do about Reeves and Porteur?"

"What do you mean?" She asked, stretching her arms over her head and yawning. "They're perfectly fine soldiers."

"Surely you've noticed their romance."

"What about it?"

"I'm just wondering what you're going to do. When the Inquisitor returns, he'll probably send us on a mission somewhere far away. Is it really wise to allow them both to come with us? Wouldn't their romance be more of liability than anything else?"

Elena pulled a face at him, "What brought this on?"

Marston shrugged, kicking his horse forward through the water, "I was just thinking about how we used to have that weird thing going on between us. Now, looking back, I'm glad you didn't encourage me. It was difficult watching you in the Fallow Mire and at Haven… to be honest, when I noticed you weren't with us at the second trebuchet, I made a stupid mistake that got my arm broken. I'm lucky that's all that happened to me."

"You never told me that."

"Why would I? It's not really the kind of thing I'd admit to someone I was trying to impress with my amazing battle skills."

"You thought that would work on me?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly at her, "I noticed how much you admired the commander and I figured that was the only thing he had that I didn't so… I may have been trying to over compensate at some points."

Elena openly laughed, finally understanding what he wanted from her, "You're ridiculous! Cullen and I… I don't really know. When I was training with the Templars back in Ostwick I had promised I would never become romantically involved with a Templar. Of course, I really couldn't have since my parents would never have allowed it. That would have brought shame to House Trevelyan. Anyway, Cullen isn't a Templar, and I never knew him as one. He's always been the Commander to me. People used to try to convince me that his past with the Templars was what defined him and so I shouldn't care for him in any capacity beyond how a soldier feels about their superior officer. I honestly started out just trying to prove everyone wrong. I wanted so badly for him to have always been the good man he is now, but that's just not the truth. He's still struggling with those demons. Even knowing all that I know now—" Marston snorted derisively, "I know it's not the full-story— I don't think I'll ever get the full story. Even knowing all that I know now about him there's still this deep, noble side of him that I find positively magnetic…. I can't put my finger on it, but from the second I looked at his face, I was a goner." She stopped talking and looked at Marston, wondering if she was making sense, "Listen to me. I'm talking in circles, aren't I?"

"Kind of…" Marston wobbled one hand at her, "What you're saying is you just love the man?"

"I don't know about that."

"I still don't know what he has that I don't."

"I think it's a maturity thing."

"I'm mature!"

Elena shook her head, "You're not mature if you start a conversation about one thing that isn't a problem trying to make it a problem so that you can wheedle extra information out of someone who didn't want to be with you romantically about why they weren't interested in you."

"That hurt my head to listen to."

"Exactly my point. Oh, look! We're back!" Skyhold loomed in front of them like a gargoyle, the main gates were pulled back and the portcullis was open, "That's not right…"

Marston furrowed his brows, surveying the scene, "What's not right?"

Elena shook her head, "The portcullis isn't supposed to be up while we're out." She told him, "Did you hear any horn calls?"

Marston shook his head, "No, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. They could have forgotten to lower it when we left."

She frowned, "Let's go a little faster."

"You're so suspicious." Marston grumbled. They trotted their horses beneath the portcullis's gaping maw and clattered across the bridge. "Who left all these sacks and crates here?" Marston asked, guiding his mount around a large stack.

"I don't know." The stable yard was absolutely bustling with activity. Elena's horse shied away as a group of soldiers rushed past, their armor clanking loudly. The animal backed into a group of stacked, empty crates, sending them crashing down behind him. This further frightened the already-nervous animal and he spun on his haunches, stomping his feet and shaking his head violently from side to side against the bit in his mouth. Elena fought to calm him down, hoping nobody would get in the way. It wasn't usual for her horse to be so skittish, but she wasn't unfamiliar with this kind of thing. "Silly beast, it's just empty boxes!" She hissed to him as she worked to keep him from totally losing his mind. She could hear people calling out, but she didn't pay attention to the words they were saying. The horse stopped spinning and stood, stomping and giving little half-hops. Elena slid from the saddle quickly and went to grab his bridle only find herself bumping into someone. "Oops! Sorry! He's normally pretty level-headed." She explained as a stable hand came over and took the animal away from them wordlessly, finishing settling him down as they did so. She turned to fully look at the person who had helped her and froze.

"Is that all you have to say to me?"

Elena was shocked into silence by the person standing before her.

"Well?"

Her hands went over her mouth in disbelief.

"Surely you were raised better than this."

"Where is he?" She asked from around her fingers, her voice shaking slightly.

"Ah, she can speak. Here I was thinking you'd suddenly been struck mute!"

"Dorian!" She flung her hands downwards dramatically, "Where are they?"

The mage smiled gently at her and placed a large hand on her shoulder, "They're in the War Room. I'd be careful, though, your brother's been through… let's call it 'quite an ordeal' since you last saw him. I doubt your commander faired any better." He passed a hand through his hair, settling it into its proper place, and twirled his mustache, a far-off look in his gray eyes, "I know I won't be able to sleep well for at least a month."

Elena put her arms around him, pulling him close, "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"My dear girl, you don't even know what happened!" He responded, settling his arms around her lightly, "I appreciate the sentiment, though. Now go find your men-folk."

Elena smiled warmly at him as she moved to leave, "Dorian, you're part of 'my men-folk,' too, you know."

"Yes, yes, yes. It's only logical to have someone as marvelous as me involved in that little group. I fear it would be terribly dull otherwise." He made shooing motions at her, "Now, really, get going. All this open affection is making me feel nauseous."

Elena's feet struck the stones of the Great Hall firmly as she skidded to a stop. The carpet down the center aisle bunched beneath her feet. There, in front of the large, wooden throne, stood her brother. He was a good distance away from her, but she'd know the sight of him anywhere. All the Trevelyan men had the same look about them. Assuming a more appropriate pace for inside a building, she continued forward. She hadn't realized that there had been a small knot of anxiety in her heart for Erik until it released upon sight of him. As she grew closer, she could pick out more details of his features. He had sunk down into the fur-covered seat, resting his head in one hand, the other draped carelessly over his crossed knee. There were pale gray circles beneath his eyes when he finally looked up at her. His skin, which had been a healthy tan when he left, was wan and pale as if what he'd experienced at Adamant had taken all of his strength to overcome. The anchor mark on his upturned left hand sat dormant but vibrantly green against his palm. Had it gotten bigger? She'd never really taken notice before. She came to a stop on the middle stair of the raised dais that the throne resided on, waiting on him.

Erik gave her a small smile, "Elena. It's nice to see you." He said, even his voice sounded tired.

"Are you well?" She asked, taking the last few steps to come within arm's reach of him. She bent and examined his face more closely, trying to see if this was a temporary or a permanent change.

Erik waved her worried look aside, "Of course I'm well. I'm just tired from traveling. After Adamant there was nothing more any of us wanted than the safety and familiarity of Skyhold, so we rushed home."

"The rest of the army?"

"Coming along as quickly as they can… I dare say they'll be trickling in here in the next few days or so."

"That's good. Dorian said it was bad."

Erik scoffed, "I'm sure he wasn't so plain about it." His face grew dark and thoughtful as he looked off in the opposite direction of her.

"Do I need to know?"

"No."

"Do you want to tell me anyway?"

His eyes slid to lock onto hers, "No. I don't think that would help much. I just… need some time."

Elena nodded, "As you wish."

Erik's face brightened up, "Mother would be ashamed of us!" He exclaimed, shoving himself from the throne. Elena gave him a puzzled look as she moved out of his way, "Here I am, newly returned from the wars, and all I'm doing is blathering on about not wanting to talk to you! That's not very mannerly of me!" He wrapped her in a hug, "I'm so sorry, Elena. I really did miss you."

She returned the hug, deciding to just accept the abrupt shift in his mood, "I miss you, too, Erik. I'm glad you are home and that you are safe."

"Me too. It would not have been fun to be unsafe and away from home all at once!" He paused, "Of course, charging into battle isn't really a dull acitivity."

"Not at all."

"What are you and your little friends doing later?"

"We didn't have plans."

"You do now! You are all coming to the Herald's Rest for the festivities! There will be dancing, singing by all who wish to sing, games, food, and drink to celebrate our triumphant return! Then, when the proper army returns, we shall throw them a proper feast!" He clapped his hands together and headed down the aisle towards the front doors. He turned and walked backwards for a few steps, "Isn't there someone you're forgetting… in that direction?" He pointed towards the door that led to Solas's rotunda before turning back around and sauntering away, whistling a light tune. Dorian wasn't kidding. Elena thought as she watched her brother's retreating back. He really isn't himself.

Elena stepped from the shade of the doorway and into the bright sunlight outside of Solas's rotunda on her way to Cullen's tower. Just as she did so she heard the banging of a door not-so-far off. Coming across the bridge towards her was Cullen. She smiled broadly and called out his name. He looked up and smiled back at her. Without realizing it, she had started running. She slammed into him, nearly knocking him backwards off of his feet. Her arms snaked around his shoulders, tugging him close to her as she planted a large kiss on his mouth. Cullen caught his balance and wrapped his arms around her, returning the kiss with equal fervor. When at length they broke apart, they both stood separate from each other, breathing hard, just staring at each other.

"Welcome home." Elena said after several moments of silence.

Cullen smiled warmly, "Thank you. How was Skyhold while we were away?"

Elena shrugged and stepped beside him, taking his hand in hers as they started walking back the direction she had come from. "It was all right. Pretty boring, actually." Cullen nodded, "I heard Adamant was eventful."

"To say the least."

"What exactly did happen there? Obviously we won, but…"

"Didn't the Inquisitor tell you?" Elena shook her head and waited as he opened the door for her. "Ah, well… quite a lot actually." He closed the door behind them and took her hand again, leading the way. "When we got there the place was already a bloody mess. We managed to get some control over the battle and the Inquisitor actually got some of the Wardens to lay down their arms and abandon the fight."

"Impressive."

"Yes. Once he located Commander Clarel, the battle got away from us. That damned arch demon, or whatever it is, showed up again and the whole blasted thing went up in smoke. Luckily, we had been somewhat prepared for something like that so our forces were ready to take quick action. We subdued the remaining Wardens. Meanwhile, the Inquisitor and his party somehow wound up in the Fade. When they returned they were without Hawke, but other than that, apparently, none-the-worse-for-wear." He stopped walking as they entered the garden.

"So that's why he's so… different."

"Can you really blame him?"

Elena shook her head, "It sounds like a crazy mission. I'm glad he came home safely though. How are you feeling after all of that?"

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, dropping her hand in the process, "I believe I am all right. I haven't had any nightmares from it, which is a fairly new experience for me."

"You have nightmares?"

He stopped, "Did I just say that?" Elena nodded, "Well... Ah, um… care for a game of chess?" He gestured at the unoccupied chess board sitting under the gazebo.

Elena rolled her eyes, "You're just going to ignore my question then?"

Cullen pointedly did not meet her eyes as he led the way to the waiting board and took a seat opposite her, "Do you know the rules of this game? The premise?"

She shrugged nonchalantly as she settled herself more comfortably in her chair. She viewed the board critically, "Out wit and out maneuver your opponent to win. Simple enough." She looked him over carefully, "Of course, you may be at an advantage seeing as that is quite literally your job…"

Cullen swept his arms out to the side in a wide arc, "It's not my fault for being so well-practiced. Are you sure you want to play? I'd hate to embarrass you."

Elena chuckled, picking up her first piece, "Oh, no, Commander, it is I who would hate to embarrass you."

Author's Note: I thought it'd be nice to end on a pretty normal thing for these two. More to come as soon as I finish these final quarter grades! OH MY GOSH I AM ALMOST DONE WITH MY FIFTH YEAR OF TEACHING ALREADY! Enjoy the rest of your week, lovelies! Peace and Blessings -Danbamina