Record That
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN EVANGELION, NOR ANY OF THE SONGS! DON'T SUE ME!
Chapter 16: Offspring
The sound of the Evangelion falling backwards onto the ground. Became the sweet sound of victory for the band. Sakura would've joined them in cheering and jumping around. Though she needed a moment to relax, she was only human. Compared to these superhuman copies of the same fourteen-year-old boy.
Eventually, while the boys were high fiving each other. With each of them doing it in their own strange way. The maid being very hesitant, the robot armed one being forced not to even give high fives. Less he wanted to take someone's hand off. Wes and Baggy Pants were acting like they were at a party, doing complex high fives and headbutting each other.
It brought a smile to Sakura's face, but soon it was time to bring a stop to this. She stood up on her wobbling legs. Then raised her hands and did a silencing gesture. Though only the maid saw her and understood. The others were busy celebrating and talking about how cool the battle was. Especially when the Eva bashed Diligentia's head in, with its brain and white parts flying everywhere.
"SUSHI!" Sakura shouted.
An awkward silence fell upon the group. As everyone looked at her, wondering why the Hell she just said that.
"Sorry, I've gotten used to shouting random stuff to get my brother and father's attention. Sometimes they argue so much that they are unreachable without shouting nonsense. " She explained.
"Ha! Well, we're not arguing now, are we?" Baggy Pants asked with a sarcastic edge.
"No?" She responded.
"So, unless you actually got some good Sushi. Please explain why you needed to get our attention."
His attitude was rather intimidating to the young girl. More so than the guy who looked like something out of a horror novel. Who proceeded to smack him on the back of the head. Knocking his dumb red hat off in the process.
"Hey!?" Baggy Pants ejected, as he scrambled to get his hat.
"Stop acting like a douchebag in front of a seven-year-old. She's not used to your dumbass attitude." Wes explained.
"Oh, excuse me Mr. Looks-Like-A-Fucking-Zombie!" Baggy Pants snapped back.
"Oh, here we go with the same old 'How I Look' Card! Put it back in the deck! Also, watch your language."
"You swore in front of her too!"
"There is a difference between the f-bomb and a word you can say on TV."
"That's bullshit! Either all of it's okay or none of it's okay!"
"Like you ever followed that rule when people told you to stop swearing."
"That's because I'm-"
"SPAGHETTI SAUCE!" The maid version of Shinji interjected.
When the two boys fell silent. Then robot hands Shinji started to laugh.
"I guess it does work." He spoke.
"Yeah." Maid Shinji responded, timidly.
"Okay, let's just get to whatever the fuck Sakura here was trying to say. You were trying to say something right? Or do you just want all the attention?" Baggy Pants gestured to Sakura.
"Um, no, I just want some questions answered." She said, a little bit nervously.
"Oh, well then ask away." Wes responded.
"Okay…what the Hell are you!?"
"Which one?" The one with robot hands asked in a joking way.
"Well, let's start with your smart ass. What's your story?" Baggy Pants asked him.
"Me? Isn't it obvious?" He started wiggling his robotic fingers.
"Well, how about you tell her your name?" Wes suggested.
"How about you tell her? You make fun of me every time you hear it."
"Hey, look man. The reason why Dominus gave us these names is so that way we're not all calling each other the same thing. Besides, you got lucky with your name. It sounds cool outside of the context of the song it's based on." Baggy Pants argued.
"Yeah, because you based your personality off of one of the biggest douchebags of the nineties. So, of course you're going to get the nickname Fred."
Baggy Pants Shinji, otherwise known as Fred, groaned.
"Says the guy who's named after a douchebag from the 80s." Wes said, defending Fred.
"It's a fictional character! Name one asshole actually named Kilroy!?" He snapped back.
"Alright, how about you change your name then?" Fred suggested.
"Dominus is still going to call me that no matter what I say!" Kilroy nearly shouted.
The three started arguing, and while Sakura tried to think of something to say to get their attention. Meanwhile, Maid Shinji came over and introduced herself.
"Hi, I'm Karen. I play bass guitar, and I'm from a universe where I embraced my feminine side. Of course, not everyone appreciated that." She explained.
"Who didn't appreciate that?" Sakura asked.
"The ones in charge, well, the actual ones in charge."
Karen then started to push Sakura towards one of the staircases.
"Let's get out of here, the boys will notice we're gone, and they'll catch up."
"Okay, but it seems like it's going to be a bit of a way down. Won't the power be out all across the building?" The little girl asked.
"Who says we're going to take the stairs?"
Karen then took Sakura by the hand, and the two walked past the roof entrance to the building. Then they began to walk off the edge. Sakura would've been scared, if this was the first time that she hadn't started floating in mid-air today. So, as the two slowly descended the side of the building. Sakura started to ask another question.
"So, you guys like to play music."
"Yeah." Karen responded.
"How does that result in hurting the monsters?"
"Well…. it's a bit complicated, and I'm sure Dominus could explain it better than I could, but essentially. It revolves around your emotions and how the lyrics reflect your situation." Karen explained.
"That and an audience helps!" Said Fred as he fell right past them.
"They can feel your emotions as well!" Said Wes as he followed suit.
"It's raining men!" Kilroy sang as he was the last to follow.
The sight and sounds of the boys falling made the two girls laugh.
"They're right, because even if it's just the five of us. The fact that we're playing instruments, feeling the sway of the music. Singing about how life is terrible, boosts our power. Even if we played Raining Men, that would help to boost our resolve if we all felt it was appropriate to the situation."
Karen explained this just as they touched the ground. Where the three other boys had landed uncomfortable positions. Though, despite clearly breaking some bones. The three boys got up, snapped or healed the joints back into position. Then turned to Sakura as if nothing happened.
"Any other questions?" Fred asked, cockily.
Though this time, Sakura wasn't intimidated, she laughed at his manner of speaking.
"I have a few more. Like, how did you three survive that drop?"
"Now that is an easy one. One word, evolution." Wes explained.
"What?" Sakura was surprised by his response.
"It's essentially the process of experience over hundreds and hundreds of years. Thus, being able to gain the power of Dominus. Though not to the same degree of strength." Said Kilroy.
"We're leveling up baby!" Shouted Fred, his voice echoing across the ravaged Tokyo-3.
The echoing caused the remains of Diligentia to twitch.
"Okay, so, what gave you this kind of power?" Asked Sakura.
"Dominus." All four of the band members said.
"Alright, then how did he get all his powers?" The little girl asked, a little frustrated.
The four look-alikes fell silent and looked between each other. This silence put Sakura on edge, until eventually Wes spoke to her.
"There were many victims of its wrath before it could bless us with its power. Mainly, of the false God variety."
He said with a stern look, pointing to the corpse of Diligentia. Sakura got the hint to not talk about this. So, she quickly blurted another question out.
"Why do you play this kind of music?"
The four laughed at how nervous she sounded.
"Because it's fun." Fred told her.
"And the lyrics reflect more of how we feel. It's amazing how much pain can be expressed in so many different languages." Karen added.
"Alright, I think this is my last question, but no promises." Sakura assured them.
"We're all ears." Said Wes.
"Earlier, Dominus made instruments and other things appear when he was saving me. Though, sometimes he was also able to slow down time. And you all could make buildings float in the air and then crush them. So, what is the full extent of your powers?"
"Well…." Wes said, thinking about how to explain this one. "There are two kinds of styles you can fight with. Using illusions and being physical."
"We mainly like to be physical." Fred said, cracking his knuckles.
"Yet, we can do the illusions if we want. However, much like offensive and defensive powers. We can't hurt anything with our illusions." Kilroy added.
"And that's honestly for the best. Because the things we can create would be most dreadful and do more harm to the people's minds than our enemy's bodies." Said Karen.
"Okay," Sakura said, nodding her head. Doing it on instinct as if she were in school. "Does the same go for Dominus?"
Yet another silence fell over them. Then, the four of them got close to her. Making sure that they could only whisper this to her. As such, others that may be spying on them could not hear. When this happened at first, Sakura was scared by the secretive and tense nature. And things didn't change much when they explained it to her.
"It can make both a reality, both the physical and illusionary. As if it were truly a God and it was creating these things on the spot. Though, only through sheer concentration can it achieve this."
Wes explained.
"Because for all its boasts and power, nothing, not even Dominus is immortal."
All four said at once.
"Don't let it know that we told you this." They spoke.
"O….o….okay." The incredibly nervous girl responded. "I….I…..I….It?"
The four didn't know what she meant at first, but Wes quickly got the idea. He placed a hand on her shoulder, gave her as warm of a look that a boy with black eyes can give her. Then, leaned in so that not even the others could hear him. Only Sakura heard:
"Because it's no longer human. Every part of its human side has been literally ripped away. Though, it still acts like us, and in the end. It still is like us in many different ways."
He then hugged her.
"Don't worry, everything's going to be okay." He told her.
He was audible enough so that the rest could hear him. They took this as the que to join in with a group hug. By the looks of it, Sakura needed it. As she was not only crying, but she was also nervously shaking. On the verge of having a panic attack. Though, the warmth of four nice strangers made her feel better.
It was during this that one of them heard a camera turn on. One of the spy cameras from those who hadn't fallen asleep earlier. They were now using it to see what the Hell was happening in Tokyo-3.
"Seems someone wants to interrupt our privacy. And Dominus is still recovering." Killroy brought that to their attention.
Once the five broke up and looked around for where the cameras were located. They then turned back to each other.
"Hey, new girl, want to see the illusion part?" Fred asked her.
"Uh, yeah?" She said, with a smile on her face.
"Well then, sit back and enjoy." Fred said, grabbing a mic out of thin air.
"Which song?" Wes asked.
"Eh, I don't think we can do another Limp Bizkit song. Nor a song past the two thousands, I don't think they exist in this timeline?"
"Huh, in that case. How about something from the nineties?" Kilroy suggested to Fred as he set up the drums.
"Like what?"
"Well…."
A brief silence, then Karen spoke up as she was tuning her bass.
"Do you guys like the Offspring?"
The boys all smiled.
"What's the Offspring?" Sakura asked.
"You're about to find out." Fred said with a wink.
Everyone from New Washington D.C. to Berlin-3 to Osaka were trying to figure out what the Hell was happening. After everyone who was originally watching the feeds had passed out and had been moved to hospice. Everyone off shift and on break soon came in. They expected to see Tokyo-3 in shambles once they got the cameras working. Yet, when they did eventually view the city. The images of everyone being passed out on the hills. Buildings being slightly melted, the EVA and what seemed to be the Angel both heavily damaged and dead.
Made them more confused than actually giving them answers. And what happened next, only added more fuel to that fire.
(Come Out And Play - The Offspring)
(0:00 to 0:09)
The video feed was then hit with a strange orange filter. As it focused on the close up playing of Kilroy's drum set alongside Wes's guitar. And as the people viewing this tried to fix whatever position the cameras were in. They didn't notice how the broadcast was able to spread out to whichever TVs were connected to the system.
Meaning, everyone from a janitor cleaning stuff in the hallway. To a school kid who was near a television connected to the cable line. Got to witness the band jamming out. Right as the camera focused on Fred's orange filtered face.
(0:10 to 0:24)
You gotta keep 'em separated.
The view panned out to show the whole band. With even Sakura being visible as she danced to the beat. Each of the other members joined in their own way. Kilroy getting looser on how he played, Wes trying to do the same dance moves as Sakura. Fred slam dancing to the beat and Karen simply bobbing her head and tapping her foot with a smile.
All while it seemed their background was changing from the hillside to the top of a building, to down in the Central Dogma. As if they were teleporting all over the place. Average adult viewers simply watched with slack jawed expressions. While kids started to bounce around in joy as well. Not entirely knowing what was going on, but happy that it was something different.
(0:25 to 0:36)
Wes started playing a more surf rock kind of beat. Which then began to turn their already existing clothing into beach clothes. Not just on the band members, but also on the audience as well. Guys got typical swimsuits with shirts, or some even got speedos. Girls getting a one piece or bikinis. Ironically though, Karen got a male swimsuit. Though she did get pink themed clothes.
Everyone was so surprised at what was happening. They didn't even notice the close up on Fred smirking at all of their expressions.
(0:37 to 1:24)
Like the latest fashion.
When the screen zoomed out, it showed Fred skipping down the street by himself. On his way to a local school.
Like a spreading disease.
The kids are strappin' on their way to the classroom.
Fred then pulled a metal baseball bat out of nowhere. Twirling and swinging it in his hand like it was a piece of rope.
Getting weapons with the greatest of ease.
The gangs stake out their own campus locale.
And if they catch you slippin' then it's all over pal.
The boy then skipped over to a school window. Pointed at the audience and then jumped inside.
If one guy's colors and the other's don't mix.
They're gonna bash it up, bash it up, bash it up, bash it up.
Once inside, he found Kilroy and Wes throwing each other around with superhuman strength. After crashing into a couple of desks, they both pulled two guns. To which, Fred swung his bat and sent them flying through the walls with the force of the wind, caused by the swing.
HEY!
Fred shouted with a big smile as he did this.
Man you talking back to me!?
Kilroy and Wes got back up, looking pretty pissed at him.
Take him out!
They both shouted as Fred turned to the camera. As the two charged him, he pointed to them with his thumb.
You gotta keep 'em separated.
The two tackled Fred with all three of their faces pressing against the camera in comedic fashion. Though, Fred continued to sing as best he could.
Hey! Man you disrespecting me!? Take him out!
As the three fell off the camera, they revealed Karen and Sakura sitting behind the teacher's desk. Where they watched with glee as the boys beat each other up. Though Karen was more relaxed than the Sakura. Who flinched a couple times at how brutal the off-screen fighting was.
You gotta keep 'em separated.
Karen said to the camera, sitting in a chair with her feet up on the desk. For once, she looked kind of cool and cocky.
Hey, they don't pay no mind.
If you're under eighteen you won't be doing any time!
Karen spun around to face the new camera position from behind the desk. As well pushed Sakura out of the way, so that when the inevitable happened. She wouldn't have gotten smooshed against the screen.
Hey, come out and play!
The fight spun out of control and sent the boys flying into Karen. Where their faces pressed against the camera again. Before it then broke, and they flew into the control room in New Washington D.C.
(1:25 to 1:36)
After the four fell into the room. They all quickly got up, respawned their instruments and started playing again. The other people were so confused and hypnotized by this. That they didn't notice Sakura crawling through the monitor that the band flew through. Because they were also too distracted by the group trying to interact with the adults.
Like Fred getting in their faces, Wes just being himself, Kilroy playing not only his drums, but his surroundings. As well as Karen being all seductive, despite her being a fourteen year old boy. Though, when they noticed that more people were standing still, mouth agape. Rather than dancing and having fun.
The group realized it was time to switch locations.
(1:37 to 2:25)
By the time you hear the siren!
It's already too late!
One goes to the morgue and the other goes to jail!
One guy's wasted and the other's a waste!
They then teleported to a classroom nearby. Where all the kids watching screamed in joy and excitement. As the group started dancing along with them. The old teacher on the other hand almost had a heart attack. Not only was the music loud, but four teenagers dressed in swimsuits. Had appeared on her desk and were now bashing about and riling up the kids.
Sakura was taken along for the ride as well. Though she was mainly in the group of kids. All excited for the new location they had just found. However, it appeared like with every lyric. They were slowly fading into another classroom of happy students and horrified teachers.
It goes down the same as the thousand before.
No one's getting smarter, no one's learning the score.
Your never-ending spree of death and violence and hate.
Is gonna tie your own rope, tie your own rope, tie your own…
This time the classroom was in what looked like Berlin, but Sakura couldn't really tell. She simply thought that due to all the posters on the wall she couldn't understand. This time, Karen was singing, and Fred was clapping in rhythm.
Hey, man, you disrespecting me?
Take 'em out! (You gotta keep 'em separated.)
When Kilroy cut in to sing, along with the kids, 'You gotta keep 'em separated'. The band teleported again.
Hey, man, you talking back to me?
Take 'em out! (You gotta keep 'em separated.)
Hey, they don't pay no mind.
If you're under 18 you won't be doing any time!
HEY! COME OUT AND PLAY!
The group was then suddenly in another Japanese classroom. Doing the same thing with the students. Though this time Wes was singing and the teacher was more understanding. Probably because she looked like she was the age of someone who actually grew up with this music.
(2:26 to 3:17)
It goes down the same as a thousand before.
No one's getting smarter, no one's learning the score.
Your never-ending spree of death and violence and hate.
IS GOING TO TIE YOUR ROPE, TIE YOUR OWN ROPE, TIE YOUR OWN…
As the band and students really started to shout the chorus. It then seemed as if every classroom was joining in with the song at that point. Then, every place they visited seemed to be teleported to a bright sunny beach. Where the band was playing on a stage with Fred on lead singing again. Though Kilroy was leading the chorus of keep 'em separated.
HEY! Man, you talking back to me?
Take 'em out! (You gotta keep 'em separated!)
HEY! Man, you disrespecting me?
Take 'em out! (You gotta keep 'em separated!)
HEY! They don't pay no mind!
Fred turned the microphone to the students.
If you're under eighteen you won't be doing any time!
They all sang along, only for Fred to turn the mic back to himself.
HEY, COME OUT AND PLAY!
(End)
The exact moment the music stopped. All of the students, along with the beaches and classrooms disappeared. They went back to wearing their original clothing and the band was standing back in the hills of Tokyo-3. Sakura had trouble getting her footing. As she could've sworn she was standing on sand after being on a hard wooden floor. Now, she was back in a dark night time city, so she was suffering from a bit of whiplash.
Meanwhile, the band was hooting and celebrating for a good performance. Though, eventually, Sakura eventually focused and walked over to the band. When she noticed that they were all still celebrating, she breathed in.
"WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?"
Her shouting caught them off guard and made them all laugh.
"That was the illusion side of our powers." Wes explained.
"If only your face was an illusion." Fred interrupted.
"Well at least I'm cool looking. Unlike your fifteen dollar haircut and backwards red hat." He snapped back.
One moment they were celebrating, the next moment they were arguing. While Wes and Fred started trying to roast each other. With Kilroy being the observer and sort of referee between the two boys. Karen decided to come over and explain to the confused Sakura.
"Given our song material, much like the physical powers we possess. We can make things that appear so real that match up with lyrics. Along with that, the more people who we gain the attention of and watch our stuff. Results in our power growing."
"Wow." Sakura exclaimed. "It felt so real. Like I was actually bumping into things and other people? Did any of it really happen? Or was I just standing here?"
"Yes, and no. You were hearing our music, along with dancing with everyone else. Though they were millions of kilometers away. While you were dancing with us. Don't worry about walking into a building or anything. Skilled illusionists like us can use our surroundings appropriately to build an appropriate environment."
"Huh, sort of like a stage play." Sakura added.
"Yeah," Karen said, patting Sakura's head with a smile. "You're really smart for a girl your age."
"I have to be. With my brother and father, they can be such handfuls sometimes."
"Hm, I'm sorry it's like that for you."
"It's okay. My life is pretty interesting now, and I still love them." Sakura reassured her with a childish grin.
This put Karen at ease.
"Man, I don't know what illusion you're planning right now. Though that rap battle that Wes and Fred are having is creating quite the shadow." Sakura said.
Karen was aware of the two boys' amateur rap battle happening behind her. With Kilroy supplying the beat on his drums. Yet, she didn't really notice the massive shadow forming around them. That she wasn't creating, nor did she sense that any of the boys were doing either.
It was with quick thinking and unseen strength that Karen was able to push Sakura out of the way. Of the massive chunk of building that landed on top of them. This sent Sakura flying, and the little girl landed nearby. This time, not in the best shape, nothing was broken, but she was feeling fatigued.
When she gained enough strength to look up. A still healing, yet barely living Diligentia was standing up. Having just thrown the building. While his face was fully healed back up. Sakura gazed upon his new form, a pure white muscular body, resembling that of a human with octopus suckers on his hands and feet.
His tentacle beard was gone, revealing a square jaw line with massive sharp teeth. Along with black eyes with dark red pupils. Eyes that were staring directly at Sakura. Who understandably passed out in shock.
FINALLY! It's done. I liked writing this one, but it should not have taken this long. I'll hopefully get the next one out a lot quicker, because we're going to do one of my favorite songs. Or maybe even two depending on how I want this to go.
Thank you all for the criticism and sorry if I'm in a bad mood a lot of times at the end of chapters. I'm always up for more critiques though. Despite this series becoming incredibly ridiculous, I still think it fits with the tone of Evangelion. I think I've talked about this before, but I had plenty of different drafts for this story.
All of them were deleted because they didn't properly explain how Shinji and his friends would get powers like this. Yet it's with this set up of Dominus/The Reflection. That I've taken it to the level of absurdity that I like. While still being able to blast music like stuff from Radiohead, Metallica and Joy Division.
Let me know if you have any more criticism down in the reviews. I read them all, and in the future. I got some normal character moments similar to the ones in the show. Because you can't have action all the time.
I hope you all are still enjoying it. If not, sorry for wasting your time. See you all next time with another music centric chapter.