Record That
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN EVANGELION, NOR ANY OF THE SONGS! DON'T SUE ME!
Chapter 21: Creep
"Gazing upon my true form will cause your eyes to bleed. As well as your brain to physically melt if you look for too long. Do not look, just listen to the music. It's the only time you will all understand the same language. As well as it being a good lesson in humility and understanding of your place in this world.
Now shut up and do as you're told. Now!"
Did Shinji hear that? Yes, he most certainly did. He was given every chance to look away. Yet, something inside him wanted to see what his future self looked like. So, he forced himself, through sheer willpower, to look upon Dominus's true form. Was this because of him being the exact same as his Reflection? So he had resistance to its influences?
He would never know, or at least he thought he never would. Because after witnessing a battle on a scale no human could even come close to comprehending. Seeing what power he was destined to acquire. Or, was supposed to acquire, broke his mind. It felt as if his insides had melted. The fact he was still standing was a miracle in and of itself.
He managed to stand up long enough to come face to face with his Reflection. Dominus looked him up and down, bleeding from the eyes, same as Shinji. It scoffed, then with the same wicked smile. Left the boy to die with a few choice words. Just as it had always planned to do.
"I guess that scenario you saw isn't happening. A shame, it would've been interesting. Though, not a complete loss. No one will remember who we were. All according to plan."
With the disappearance of the Reflection, Shinji fell to the ground. Though he didn't feel it. Shinji couldn't feel anything, it was as if the whole world was falling into darkness. Same with Dominus, who had retreated to the same pocket dimension from before. To become one with the dead whom it failed to save. Amongst the red seas, crucified EVAs, and dying vegetation.
This was it, the end for both of them. No, the end of just him. Shinji was finally entering the infinite darkness. Falling down an unending pit, to join those who were never meant to live anymore. It was comforting for the Reflection, sad for the boy. Who seemingly cried his last tears in between the blood. As his consciousness dimed.
For a while, there was nothing. Absolute darkness, yet, Shinji's mind still lingered. Watching the darkness, trying to find his bearings. Though, there was so much pain just to try and move. It was easier for him just to stay still. And besides, it was in the boys characteristics to shrivel up and do nothing.
That's what he should've done.
That's what he was going to do.
But….no….
Against his future self's wishes. Shinji forced himself to move. Why? He did not entirely know. Perhaps it had something to do with witnessing the true strength of Dominus. The images, the creativity, and the bittersweetness of gaining revenge against those who wronged you. It drove Shinji onward to at least try something.
At least, something similar to what he would possibly one day achieve. Or perhaps, to attempt something similar before he became one with eternal darkness. Something like the rock and roll nature the Reflection had tried with those songs. Tunes that conveyed a deep and eternal need to cry out in pain. Something that Shinji had been wanting to do all his life.
With this last ounce of energy that he had. Despite it taking what felt like the strength of a thousand men to even move. Shinji would sing one last song for the world. Let his tune be heard so that way people wouldn't forget him. And he knew exactly which song he wanted to sing.
In the past, he didn't have the ability to sing it. The boy could barely speak a single phrase of English. Now, it felt like he understood every word of it. Alongside, every language in the world. However, just thinking about it nearly made his head explode. Or, at least what was left of it.
So, Shinji did the smart thing for once in his life and didn't ask too many questions. He focused on his main task. That being, finding the right words to sing the song. Once he reviewed the track's lyrics from his memory. He now had to figure out a way of broadcasting the song's instruments out to the rest of the world.
What felt like a thousand needles piercing his flesh was the pain he endured to make his hand clutch the ground. From there, he could feel the vibration of the Earth. It could make a good conductor for broadcasting his voice. Though it might be a bit muffled. Forturantly, the electricity that was caused by Earth's natural resources, through the generators at hand. This led to Shinji being able to make contact with the speakers of the world.
How many speakers the boy didn't know. He also didn't care, even if just one person heard his song. At least he would be remembered. Shinji should've been asking himself how he was able to do this? Though, it made his brain hurt and if he wanted to see this to the end. He needed to stay focused.
With that, he needed to summon the instruments to play the song. Yet, it seemed he had overstretched himself with what power he currently held. He couldn't simply materialize instruments out of thin air. Shinji needed actual instruments, but where to find one. Well, with one last bit of strength he held within his eyelids.
He opened his eyes to look across the ruined city. His mind's eye found a single guitar, lying beside a sleeping girl on the rooftop. With great concentration that felt like his bones were being crushed under the weight of the immense force, just to make this one object move. Shinji brought this guitar to him and gripped it. After strumming a couple times, he realized he could play the guitar by himself.
How? Why? A couple of minutes ago, the only instrument he knew how to play was the cello. Even in the vision where he played the bass guitar. Shinji didn't have the knowledge to play it. Or at least, he didn't until now. Again, the thought nearly felt like it was pushing him deeper into the darkness.
Shinji needed an answer, his brain wouldn't let him continue until he came up with one. And too many questions would fully kill him. So, he formed his own answer, whether it was true or not didn't matter. It was simply because of gazing upon the horrifying form of his future self. Spurred him on, and perhaps in the same way it would break one's mind in simply viewing it.
It did so in granting the user too much knowledge. Too many things to do that the brain couldn't handle. Unless, the user wanted to use it in some way. To make use of it so that the user could do something unlike no human could achieve otherwise. Through this new power, Shinji would make his voice heard.
At least once by humanity, so someone out there would know his pain. So, with a deeply pained body. Shinji strummed his guitar. Though, because of how tired he was and how much power he was overexerting. The song he wanted to sing became muffled, scrambled, and distorted beyond the original.
A butchered version, that now everyone in the world could hear. Especially those who were seemingly awakened by this song.
(Creep (Very 2021 RMX) - Tom Yorke feat. Radiohead)
(0:00 to 0:41)
Everyone across the globe who had fallen asleep began to wake up. Many thoughts raced through their heads. For staff members at the UN and other agencies who had caught the performance of Dream On. Thoughts of how much time had been wasted, what happened while they were out cold, and what was playing now came to mind.
This was similar to those at the head of SEELE. Except, they didn't seem to remember clearly what knocked them out. They all had the strange image of a boy playing guitar in mind. However, they didn't remember which boy, and they probably never would have. If not for their screen still displaying Tokyo-3.
And in the corner of their screen. Next to broken buildings, they saw a lone dying boy barely being able to play guitar. Somehow broadcasting this for them to hear. The SEELE staff didn't do much about it. That could come later, for now, they were very much exhausted and wanted to see how this went first before they decided on anything.
It wasn't the fact that they thought that the song was beautiful in some strange way. That would be crazy. Though not crazy for the civilians in the military's protection. Who, much like their saviors, were star struck by the new song. However, their main question wasn't why the boy was singing this? It was where the massive tentacle monster who had hypnotized them had gone.
Three unfortunate kids who were now being treated for the abuse they took from said adults. Barely had the strength to listen to said song. Though, one of their sisters did. When she awoke on top of the building. She wanted to take in the song, yet was too confused by the disappearance of her friend.
And if you thought those above were the most confused. It was the most confusing for the ones below in the geofront. Whom due to the excessive brain damage they had suffered. Barely knew anything aside from who and where they were. Aside from that, they had no idea what they were fighting or what had happened beforehand.
Yet, before anyone could ask anymore questions to themselves. They were all distracted by not only the feeling that something was surrounding them. Making ominous noises as it passed by. Shinji finally began to sing, to which it too became garbled. If it wasn't such a legendary song, no one would be able to understand it.
Yet…everyone did, somehow.
(0:42 to 1:04)
When you were here before.
The distorted vocals sounded as if a ghost was possessing a television and trying to talk through the speakers.
Couldn't look you in the eye.
Everyone looked to their nearest audio device. Only those with prior knowledge of Shinji looked towards where he was. Those only being the SEELE staff members who watched a dying child sing and did nothing about it.
(1:05 to 1:28)
You're just like an angel.
Each line, despite being garbled. Felt like it touched everyone's soul.
Rouy niks sekam em yrc.
Not just figuratively. It was as if something was caressing the people's skin. Making them feel like they were next to another person at this moment. Sharing this moment in time.
(1:29 to 1:51)
You
Float
Like
A
Feather
World
Beautiful
A
In
The touch of the strange being also went to Shinji. Except, it felt like millions and millions of hands caressing him. Trying to make him feel better. It did help a little, but it made him realize something about the landscape around him. The city was destroyed, meaning all of these people who finally felt his pain. Wouldn't have a home to sleep in tonight.
He didn't want them to feel pain either. The thought filled his brain as he slowly groaned out his distorted lyrics.
(1:52 to 3:03)
I WISH I WAS SPECIAL
you're so very special
Creep a I'm but
Odriew a m'I
Tahw the lleh ma I 'niod here
I don't belong here.
Shinji then raised his hand to the sky. Even though he wasn't strumming anymore, the guitar still played. As he reached up, he felt a connection between not only the ground, but the air as well. As if he was truly one with everything. It was as if the air was holding onto his hand, and the ground was trying to warm him.
Gone were the millions of hands, in their stead were two beings. If Shinji had decent eye sight that hadn't been ruined by the excessive bleeding. He would've seen a ghostly child that looked like him holding his hand. Along with an older, yet still all too familiar girl who wrapped her arms around him in order to play guitar. With their warmth, Shinji felt stronger than ever.
New life was breathed into him. Along with the strength to rebuild his world.
(3:03 to 3:49)
" ' . .Hurts."
Shinji opened his hand that was up in the air, and all the rubble and ground that had been destroyed by the battle. Flew into the air to the sound of a keyboard. An instrument that Shinji thought he was playing with his hand that he was sticking up in the air now.
Iwannahavecontrol
The building parts and dirt flew in the air. Spiraling for a minute, until they started to come together.
Body perfect a want I.
Forming giant figures of two people. One clearly male, the other female.
I want a perfect soul?
The male body fell to his knees in mid air. Seemingly begging for the female figure to forgive him for something.
(3:50 to 4:36)
"I want you to notice." Said the boy. "When I'm not around." The girl, in response, fell to her knees as well. "You're so very special." She told him, then she hugged him. "I wish I was special." She whispered in his ear.
All in rather slow motion.
(4:37 to 5:26)
They both looked at each other. Trying to reach out, trying to understand each other. Except, no matter how hard they felt for each other. No matter how hard they look into each other's eyes. All they saw was pain, pain that they thought they were the cause of.
Why? Well, because they thought they were creeps. Because they were weirdos. Soon, they thought about what the Hell they were doing there. That they didn't belong there, despite how much they needed each other. They started looking away from each other and shaking, almost as if they were crying.
(5:27 to 7:01)
The boy then let go of the girl, turned around and began to…She's running out the door (rrrrrruuuuuunnnnn)...The boy ran as far as he could. Over all the people watching in the hills. Leaving the girl behind, sad and alone…She's running out…
Their emotions built up more…
She run,
And more…
Run,
And more…
Run,
Until…
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
The girl exploded back into the rubble. Causing the buildings to rebuild themselves and the craters and damaged roads to come back as well. Though it wasn't complete until the boy exploded in another…..RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!...
(7:02 to 7:48)
The city and landscape was restored, much to everyone's awe. Now, all that was left was a broken, cold and lonely boy. Slowly dying, trying to keep on strumming the guitar as he groaned out the lyrics. He wasn't even broadcasting his voice to the world anymore. His voice simply echoed across the healed landscape.
Whatever makes you happy.
Whatever you want.
You're so very special.
I wish I was special.
(7:49 to 9:02)
Shinji then sank into the ground. He appeared beneath the surface, in a dark cavern. With a million different faces that all looked like himself. Singing along with him.
I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.
What the hell am I doin' here?
I'm a weirdo
But I'm a Creep
(End)
The multiple Shinji's all then reached up to help push him back up to the surface. Where he felt the cold bitter air fill his lungs and touch his skin for the last time. Then, as he slipped from consciousness, he gazed upon Tokyo-3 one last time. A city he was all too familiar with at this point.
Through his distorted vision, the city looked as if it was completely fixed. However, he felt like he wouldn't fully know it. He could only hope that he helped humanity in his final moments. Instead of being a complete drain on society. Shinji breathed out…
He was walking through a field. A lush, green field full of life. Trees, bugs, even sparse forms of animal life. After the second impact, a lot of animals died due to flooding and changing biomes. So, to see them here is sort of a miracle. This is what tipped Shinji off to the fact that he must be dreaming.
Especially when he looked down to his feet. He wasn't moving them; he was simply gliding through the fields. As if he was being pulled along, and it seemed that he couldn't stop it. He began to panic when he saw that he was approaching a cliff side. Fortunately, he stopped right before he fell off the edge, but it didn't stop his panic.
Despite the beautiful green landscape, it was in stark contrast to the destroyed city. Filled with rotting giant body parts of Angels and EVAs alike. It didn't seem like what Shinji did even mattered. The city was destroyed, except, this looked more like the future Tokyo-3 that he saw in his dreams and visions. Especially with the giant rotting skull in the distance, the one with a fading resemblance to Rei.
It's on this cliffside that Shinji slightly gained control of his body and was now able to turn around. To which he almost fell backwards, as he was scared by Dominus looking at him with dead eyes. Even when the Reflection looked at Shinji with the meanest, cruelest gaze. Its eyes were at least full of life. Here, it was as if they were the eyes of a doll.
However, they were slowly being restored, up until they were back to their original human looking shape. Though the Reflection's eyes and now even its skin looked more human. It's cold glare and facial expression didn't change. Judging Shinji without even having to say anything, though, it was Dominus. It was going to say something eventually.
"It really is like looking in a mirror."
Shinji tried to say something, but it felt like his lungs were filled with water. He could still breathe, but he couldn't form sentences.
"Don't bother." The Reflection told him. "It's pointless to even try anything. You only have a 0.0000000000005 percent chance of actually pulling off your precious scenario."
Dominus's tone was just as flat as his stare. It was as if these were the facts that Shinji couldn't deny. That no matter what he said next, even if he could say something. It wouldn't matter in the face of the cold hard truth.
The boy tried to walk forward to get away from the edge, but he hit what felt like glass. Shinji felt around, and it seemed like he was trapped in a large glass tube on the edge of a cliff. It wasn't looking good, but still, this was a dream. It had to be, Dominus was here, and it's alive…
"I told you it was pointless to try anything." It said stepping forward. "We're all heading straight off a cliff, no matter how pretty we make everything look. The sooner you accept that, the sooner we can die and the sooner it can all be over. Don't you want that, for the pain to end?"
Shinji couldn't help but agree a little bit. Though the feeling to stand up to this overwhelming presence of inevitability made the boy shake his head.
"You can't hide from the truth." The Reflection's voice was booming and intimidating.
This caused Shinji to look away for a minute, but he then noticed something out of the corner of his eye. It was the Reflection's breath misting up on the glass. Shinji couldn't talk, but he could write. It didn't make any sense, but the boy was able to write out for Dominus to see.
TRUTH
DOESN'T
EQUAL
FACT
The Reflection was stunned by this at first and soon grew angry.
"LET ME SHOW YOU THE TRUTH!"
Images of death, destruction and chaos flooded Shinji's mind. So much knowledge in such little time made Shinji's nose bleed and his head hurt. Except, it didn't kill him and it didn't leave him immobile. Shinji wasn't able to notice this, because he was too distracted by his blood floating in the air.
"So much pain, don't you want it too end? The only way to live with it is too distract yourself with things like music. Though you wouldn't know good music now would you? All you know is classical and stuff I've played. All you can do is listen and-"
Dominus was interrupted by a closed eyed, smiling Shinji. Who had decided to close out the Reflection's booming voice, by humming a little song. Even if the boy's lungs were filled with liquid, he could still hum something. In fact, he hummed a song he had heard before, but it was in his visions of the future that he heard it.
Not only that, but it was also playing at the end of something. Almost like it was the end credits of a TV show. Though, who would pay for Fly Me to The Moon to be the end credits to a TV show? The song was so lively and fun. Why end a miserable show with such a joyous tune?
It was while Shinji was thinking about this and humming his tune. That a horrified Dominus decided that enough was enough. It laid its hands on the glass and was about to push. Then, he heard another tune. Shinji was now humming another familiar song, but where Shinji got it from, he couldn't recall.
The tune froze the Reflection solid, as it listened to the tune in silence. Then, it began to sing along….
"It all returns to nothing. It all comes tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down…"
This caused Shinji to open his eyes, and the two lookalikes shared a gaze of discovery. It was as if, for a moment, they understood each other completely. Though it certainly didn't last as Dominus came to the conclusion of how Shinji knew those songs very quickly.
"You've seen too much. And you're strong enough to remember, let's hope it doesn't stay that way." It spoke normally, as it pushed Shinji over the edge of the cliff.
Shinji tried to scream, but it was no use. As he fell, he saw another flash of pain and suffering. This time not focusing so much on battles. Instead, it was on the people Shinji had met and would soon meet. He saw how all their flaws lead them to misery and eventual death. To which the face of the Reflection appeared, with an unnaturally toothy grin.
"All too familiar, isn't it?" It then laughed.
Shinji closed his eyes and was about to hit the bottom. Then, something or someone caught him. When he opened his eyes, it was Dominus. Looking concerned and caring for the young boy. A massive change from how he appeared before.
The Reflection placed Shinji on the soft ground. With the darkness allowing for Shinji, who suddenly felt tired, to sleep peacefully and away from the harsh light of the sun. The boy wanted to stay awake, as he felt the liquid from his lungs start to exit. He wanted to say something to ask a question, but Dominus simply put a finger to its lips.
Gesturing for the boy to stay quiet. After which it whispered:
"Follow the facts and build your own truth."
And with that, Shinji closed his eyes.
The boy then woke up in the light of a hospital room. At first, he didn't know where he was. Until he felt a familiarity to it that made him feel as if he was having Deja vu. Shinji then sat up a little bit to look around. Noticing nothing much, aside from a chair with a fresh pair of clothes for him.
It was here that the situation truly sank in for him. Shinji survived. He was alive, somehow, despite truly feeling as if he had shaken hands with death itself. The boy was fully into the grave, until someone pulled him out. He needed to thank this person, whomever they might be. Was it Misato? Ritsuko? Or possibly even…his father?
Images of who they were and what they had done popped up in his head. To which he shook them away as they made his head hurt. He fell back onto the bed and stared at the top of the room. It was here that he was supposed to say something poignant, except this time. It would be a little different.
"What a familiar ceiling."
Shinji then got up and began to get dressed. Once he had fully changed into his normal clothes, he was shocked to see that someone had been watching him. Someone all too familiar. Rei was watching him through the window with a curious blank stare. Typical for her, though it was not typical for her to open the door.
Shinji watched in silence as she approached him. The girl was wearing her school uniform instead of her plug suit. A bit strange considering it had been a while since Shinji had seen her last. Not only that, but she also appeared to be in great shape, no bandages or broken bones. It was as if in the blink of an eye she had healed herself.
The boy would have continued to question this, if it had not been for Rei staring at him so intently. And approaching at such a slow yet needful pace. She would've continued to close the distance if Shinji had not said anything.
"Hi Rei, are you okay?"
She stopped and considered the question.
"Yes, physically I am okay."
An awkward pause then lingered between the both of them.
"What about mentally?" Shinji asked, breaking the silence.
What he said sounded unlike him. He never asked about how someone is feeling past the first question.
"It is in that category that I am feeling empty." Rei answered, approaching closer. "I am missing something that I have lost."
The girl was now incredibly close to Shinji. His heart rate was now skyrocketing, and surprisingly, so was hers.
"What…what would that be?" He asked, feeling her hot breath on his lips.
Her red eyes staring deep into his soul. Shinji knew that he was destined to meet with Asuka later on. Yet the way Rei was so forward now, made the teenage boy's urges start to kick in. It also made him wonder if she would make the first move.
"I don't know." Rei answered. "But…"
She moved in for a kiss. To which Shinji accepted, though she pulled back for a second to say something surprising for the typically emotionless girl.
"...I'm starting to figure it out."
She smiled, a genuine smile of happiness. To which Shinji shared and they two of them met lips again. It seemed that both his questions about her had been answered.
EXTRA SPECIAL THANKS TO ADALYN HAZEL WHO DID THE NEW COVER ART FOR MY STORY! CONTACT HER ON INSTAGRAM FOR YOUR OWN COMMISSIONS! AS WELL AS TO VIEW HER OWN ART! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Hey everyone, I'm back. Sorry for the long hiatus. I was hit with a combination of writer's block, depression, and real life that held me back from making this chapter. The stupidest part is that I had a very clear idea of what I wanted to write. From the variation on the song picked out to the reunion between two characters who supposedly died. Yet, everytime I sat down to write this, I wanted to puke.
I'm not joking, I felt genuinely sick. Which is a bit of a problem considering I have two ongoing series right now. Though, I made a promise to myself that I would get this chapter out by Halloween. To give you loyal fans something to read late at night before you went to bed. I hope you enjoyed it.
Absolutely no promises, but I hope to get the next chapter of the Gray One out by the end of the next month. Maybe even sooner now that the flood gates are back open. Hope to see you all again in the next chapter. Read you later.
P.S. Fight me, I love this version of Creep. It's so weird and ethereal and more modern Radiohead like than the original song. Doesn't mean it's better, I just like it. That's all, tell me I'm wrong in the reviews. I read them all.
See ya.
Oh, and I almost forgot.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN! YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN THE EVA!