Music I listened to while writing : Slughorn's Confession - Nicolas Hooper - Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince OST

Chapter 7: The Art of Loving and Hating

Castle Corridors

As Scorpius walked down yet another narrow corridor, adorned with snoozing portraits, he finally came to the realization… He was lost!
He should never have ventured alone in this enormous castle on the first night… he should have asked Potter to accompany him.

No, he didn't need him! He didn't need anyone. He had always managed on his own, facing insults and threats alone… with Dorian.

He thought about Nott's face. He was afraid of seeing it, of discovering it bruised… once again!

Albus, Harry Potter's son, couldn't understand what he was feeling.

Scorpius suddenly stopped, frozen. He remembered what Al had told him during Transfiguration class. It had taken a lot of courage for him to share what had happened to him; a courage that Malfoy was sorely lacking. He preferred to ignore what he had experienced, to lock it away deep within his soul rather than confront it.

"Are you looking for something?" he heard. He jumped and turned around to find Potter… but it wasn't hisPotter.

James stood behind him, tall and upright, his eyes gleaming.

Scorpius took a step back, but where could he go? He was unable to return to the dungeons.

"Yes, I was looking for the entrance to the Tower where your house is," he replied, his throat dry, nervously tapping his thigh with his fingers.

"Oh. You're lost?" James said. "It will take some time for you to get used to the stairs, they're tricky."

"Yes, it seems so," Scorpius muttered, feeling uneasy in the presence of the older Potter.

James looked at him intently before moving closer. Scorpius stiffened, breathless, but Potter walked past him.

"Come with me," James said, moving ahead.

Scorpius hesitated, but the young man continued walking. He sighed and followed, convinced he was making a mistake.

They walked down a wide and dark corridor, barely lit by the moon. Scorpius took out his wand. He was about to cast a Lumos spell when James stopped him, snatching the wand from his hands.

"The curfew has passed," he explained. "You don't want us to be spotted, do you?"

"No, you're right," Scorpius admitted.

Malfoy reached out to retrieve his wand, but James made no move to return it and simply stared at him.

"Give me my wand back, please," he murmured, hand still extended.

Potter ignored him and walked towards the nearby toilets.

"We're making a short stop, if you don't mind."

It wasn't a question.

James entered, and Scorpius hesitated again.

Why wasn't there a map posted in this damned castle? He couldn't return to the dungeons and he needed his wand. He stamped his foot, frustrated by his lack of control over the situation, then resigned himself and entered the toilets as well.

James had placed his wand and Scorpius's on the edge of the sink. He was washing his hands and drying them on white towels. Scorpius moved towards the sink to retrieve his wand, remaining silent, avoiding meeting James's gaze in the mirror.

But as he reached for it, James turned towards him, blocking his way.

"It's quite strange to see each other here, isn't it?" James said, a smile on his lips.

Scorpius did not reply. He alternated between looking at his wand and the young man with brown hair.

"It's hard to see you alone," James continued. "Nott isn't with you anymore, so I thought we could meet, but now it seems my brother has taken on the role of protector."

"Protector? And what should I be protected from?"

James's smile turned sinister.

"From nothing," he murmured, reaching out towards the boy's face. "I'm glad to see you, you know? It's been a long time. Do you remember?"

Scorpius stepped back, against the stone wall, trying to escape the hand that was caressing his hair.

"When was that?" James said, pretending to recall memories that were fresh in his mind. "Oh yes, a few months ago, at the opening of Salon Bleu."

He approached Scorpius, pinning the young boy against the wall. Malfoy avoided his gaze and trembled under the contact of his body.

"You were wearing black jeans and a white shirt," James murmured, brushing his lips gently against his temple and forehead. "And you had your hair down."

He caressed the long blonde hair and removed the elastic holding it back.

"I remember that evening very well."

James placed his hands on Scorpius's hips, pressed himself against him, and moaned as their bodies came into contact. He gently pressed his forehead against the boy's, who closed his eyes.

"I remember your body against mine. I remember your touches. And I remember the taste of your lips."

James leaned in and kissed Scorpius, firmly yet tenderly, caressing his mouth. Malfoy stiffened and bit his lip, causing Potter to cry out in pain.

Then he pushed him away by the shoulders and tried to run towards his wand, but James grabbed him by the arm, roughly pulling him back and blocking his way. He chuckled, licking his wound.

"Oh yes, I remember that too, the way you pushed me away," he said, moving closer to Scorpius, threateningly. "Except last time, you hit me."

James raised his hand and slapped Scorpius violently, causing him to fall to the stone floor. Malfoy touched his mouth and realized his lip was bleeding.

James knelt beside him and extended a tender hand. He backed away, crawling on the ground to escape him. But Potter grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him, making him slide on his knees on the stone until he reached him.

"Why are you doing this?" he whispered as if reprimanding a child. His voice was soft and his gaze indulgent. "Why did you bite me this time? Why did you try to lure me in only to push me away? Did you think a Potter would look good on your trophy wall? But I want more. You knew that."

Scorpius tried to hit him with his free hand, but James clasped both of his wrists in his hands.

"Come on, kitten," James said with a smile. "Put away your claws. Do you want Dorian to be safe? Do you want him to be okay?"

"What do you mean?" Scorpius growled, glaring at his attacker.

James started to laugh and placed a dry kiss on his lips, clearly amused by the helpless fury of his young victim.

"Do you know why you still have your beautiful porcelain face?" he asked softly. "It's because I want it. If I didn't hold Finnigan back, you'd be a bit damaged too. But Nott, I don't know what I can do for him. Or if I'll do anything."

He stared into Scorpius's eyes and whispered, "It depends on you."

Scorpius was breathless. He looked at the man holding his wrists; the man asking him to surrender himself in exchange for Dorian's safety and his own.

But did he have a choice?

Tears welled up in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

"You want Dorian to be okay, don't you?" James pressed, not taking his eyes off the young boy.

"Yes…"

"Then let ithappen."

James gently pushed him to the ground and positioned himself on top of him, covering his body with his own, and kissed him. He cupped the boy's face perfectly, running his fingers through his soft, golden hair, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs.

Scorpius opened his mouth, and James slid his tongue between his lips, playing with his own, deepening the kiss.

The young Potter trembled, as if struggling to maintain control. But his movements became more insistent, passionate. He left Scorpius's mouth and kissed his cheek, jaw, then descended to his neck. He slightly lifted himself, loosened the boy's tie, and opened his shirt.

Panicked, Scorpius tried to stop him, but James ignored him, pushing aside the hands trying to block him. He began kissing his neck and shoulders with fervor, nibbling on the flesh without breaking it. Scorpius remained still, but he desperately wanted to stop his trembling, which grew stronger as James kissed his chest, then his stomach, and caressed his thighs through his trousers.

Pleasure…Scorpius realized.

He felt pleasure under James's caresses and cursed his betraying body; he cursed the moans of pleasure that escaped him. James held him down, crushing him with his weight and kisses. His hands roamed his body, sides, hips, sliding over his buttocks and then down his thighs. Suddenly, he roughly spread his legs and positioned himself between them, hands gripping firmly under his knees.

"I want you," he said, sliding one hand up the inside of the boy's thigh. "I want you so much."

"You're a bastard!" spat Scorpius, pushing James's hand away from his groin.

The young man laughed and whispered lovingly, "Help me, Beautiful."

He knelt between Scorpius's legs and unzipped his trousers. The boy froze and watched James pull out his hardened member. He stroked it once or twice and with his free hand grabbed Malfoy's wrist, pulling him upright and closer. Then he placed the boy's hand on his rigid member. He moaned at the touch of the cold, soft skin of his hand and leaned forward, grabbing Malfoy's shoulders, squeezing them tightly and pressing his forehead against the boy's. He had waited so long for this moment and thought he might lose his mind at this simple contact.

Scorpius began to move his hand, in a slow rhythm, tightening his grip to intensify the pleasure. James dug his nails into his shoulders, panting. Malfoy didn't care about pleasuring him but wanted it to end quickly.

James watched him, trembling. He released his shoulders and gently caressed his face, pushing the hair falling into his eyes to look at him intensely, almost lovingly, as Scorpius stroked him harder. James moved his lips, forming words without making a sound, while kissing the boy's face.

Troubled by his pleasure-filled gaze, Scorpius looked away, but James shook him, forcing him to look up at him.

"No, look at me, don't imagine you're somewhere else. Don't think of anyone else! There's only me here. Look at me!"

Scorpius obeyed, enduring his lustful gaze and sensual whispers, praying for it to end.

As James neared orgasm, Scorpius, repulsed by what he was doing, felt nausea rising to his lips while the tears of rage that didn't fall filled his eyes, blurring his vision.

James suddenly pushed him back, forcing him to lie down and positioned himself on top of him while the final ecstasy shook his body. With a face contorted in pleasure, he climaxed on the young boy.

"I hate you!" Scorpius groaned passionately as James ejaculated on his stomach.

James chuckled amidst his moans of pleasure.

"I hate you too," he murmured finally, still trembling, before kissing him.

He slightly lifted himself and slid his fingers over the boy's stomach, still covered in his semen, spreading it. He smiled, sighing with satisfaction.

Scorpius looked away, horrified by his tender and sickening gestures, knowing that James was savoring his victory and admiring the remnants of the battle won.

Potter ran a trembling hand over his forehead, exhausted, then grabbed his wand from the edge of the sink without standing up and murmured, "Tergeo" to clean their clothes. Then he proceeded to button Scorpius's shirt.

The young boy tried to stop him, "Wait! There's still… You haven't…"

"I know," James interrupted with a smile, continuing to button the shirt.

What perversity! He had cleaned their clothes but not the white streaks still visible on his body.

This sicko was marking his territory.

Scorpius was well acquainted with this feeling that overwhelmed him; the loss of dignity, the sensation of rotting from within. He was disgusted with himself.

James gently buttoned up the shirt, covering the semen stuck to Malfoy's stomach. He dressed him as one would dress a doll, with delicacy and control.

The young boy remained motionless, his eyes glazed over, lost in the void. He felt humiliated, forced to wear on his skin the evidence of his weakness and revolting acts.

This wasn't the first time he had felt so powerless before a man's desire. But this time, he had accepted, he had even participated. Wasn't it even more humiliating?

As James tightened his green tie, Scorpius grabbed his hands, digging his nails into his flesh.

"You'll pay for this," Scorpius murmured, trembling with hatred.

James met his gaze, unperturbed, and suddenly stood up, pulling him to his feet by the wrists. He towered over him, and staring into his eyes, he murmured :
"Whenever you want, Sweetheart."

Gryffindor Dormitory

"Are you in pain?" Scorpius asked, sitting on Dorian's bed.

"No, not anymore."

Madame Pomfrey had worked wonders. She had fixed his broken rib and arm, though heavy bandages still wrapped around his chest and fractured hip. His face was bruised but turning green, which meant he would heal quickly. His mouth was still swollen, and fine bruises marked his cheeks.

From what Nicolas had told him as he entered the dormitory, Nott and Finnigan had exchanged a few words, and Nott had said one too many according to the Gryffindor team's keeper. That afternoon, he had cornered him in the third-floor toilets with two friends. Of course, Dorian had fought back, which explained the black eye adorning Finnigan's face.

"You shouldn't be here," Dorian murmured. "Especially not alone."

"I was worried about you," Scorpius explained, gently brushing his fingers over the bandages.

"You don't need to. Nicolas took care of me, and Sally is here too."

Scorpius nodded, but tears stung his eyes, threatening to fall onto his pale cheeks. He turned away, refusing to show such weakness in front of his injured friend. He nervously bit his lower lip, almost reopening his wound.

"Since when do you not need me?" he asked sadly.

He immediately felt Dorian's hands touching his hair, caressing it gently, as he always liked to do. He closed his eyes, comforted by the familiar and tender affection between them.

"I still need you," Nott murmured. "That's why it's so hard. I wanted so badly to be in Slytherin… Now I'm afraid for you."

Scorpius turned toward him, lifted his hand, and traced the injuries on Dorian's cheeks with his fingertips, outlining the bruises on his beautiful face. He wanted to snuggle against him, to regain the warmth that had been with him for many years, but he feared Dorian might sense another man's scent on his body and see in his eyes what he had done…

"You don't have to worry about me," he said with a smile. "I aced Potions and scored thirty points for Slytherin. See, everything is fine."

"Then where did that bruise on your lip come from?"

Scorpius blinked, flustered, and instinctively ran his tongue over his split lip. He had no answer, nothing but the truth, and he didn't want to say it or have Dorian hear it.

Remaining silent, he faced his friend's gaze, hoping he wouldn't read anything in his eyes.

"If someone hurt you," Dorian said with a hard look, "I would kill them."

And I would do anything for you, thought Scorpius. I did anything.

He felt a shiver run down his spine and his body freeze as he realized the tragic bond he shared with Dorian. Nott could kill for him, and he would do anything to protect him.

How could they hope to be happy if they knew no limits? They were their own weakness.

"I'm going to sleep," Dorian said, pulling him from his thoughts.

The young man looked exhausted, his eyelids heavy, and his voice weakening.

"The nurse drugged me, so I keep sleeping. But I should be up for the Quidditch tryouts. Although James Potter probably won't let me join the team."

"Who knows?" said Scorpius, a bitter smile forming on his lips. "Maybe he'll change his mind."

"We'll see," Dorian murmured. He reached out to Scorpius, who took and squeezed his hand.

"Stay a little while," Dorian asked. And Scorpius agreed, watching his best friend fall into a peaceful sleep.

Scorpius remained for a while, holding Dorian's hand and tracing circles on his palm. He watched over his sleep, comforted by the sound of his steady breathing. After a while, he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before leaving the room.

As Scorpius started down the tower steps, he saw James leaning against the spiral staircase wall, hands in his pockets.

Potter looked up at him.

"Shall I take you back?"

"No," Scorpius replied curtly, walking past him. "I'd rather get lost."

"Wait, you forgot something."

Irritated, Scorpius turned around, but saw that James was holding out his wand.

What an idiot, he almost forgot it!

He reached out to take it, but at the last moment, James grabbed his arm and pulled him back up a few steps.

He pressed him against the wall and kissed him passionately, tasting his lips as he had done earlier.

Scorpius endured the kiss, praying that Dorian wouldn't leave his dormitory and see him as he was now—pathetic and weak. But the kiss ended quickly, James finally released him and stepped back, breathing rapidly. He handed him his wand with a smile, then climbed the stairs back to his own dormitory.

Malfoy stood still, cursing himself for what he was about to do.

"I don't want any of you to touch him again," Scorpius shouted, his throat dry, legs shaking.

James stopped on the stairs and nodded without turning around before murmuring,

"Then, see you soon, Sweetheart."

In Front of the Slytherin Dungeons

"Lucky I was patrolling the area, or you might have been waiting a while," said Victor Zabini, proudly wearing his prefect badge, as he arrived in front of the Slytherin dungeon.

"Thanks for your help," said Scorpius, nodding before giving the password.

When the door opened, Victor grabbed him by the arm to make him face him. He tapped Scorpius's bruised lip with his index finger and said, "If you're having problems, you should talk to your father… or maybe I could mention it to mine."

Scorpius smiled sadly and shook his head. He had never dared tell his father what had happened to him at the castle during their stay in the Muggle world.

Draco wouldn't have been able to bear knowing what that professor had done to him; he would have thought he had failed in trying to protect him. So how could he tell him what he had to do today? What he had committed to doing and redoing for Dorian...

Draco struggled with the guilt from his younger years, and the mistakes of his past still gave him terrifying nightmares. But he had always been a good father, and he knew it. And he was so proud that Scorpius followed in his footsteps at Hogwarts.

If he knew… No, he mustn't know!

He shook Zabini's hand and entered the dungeon.

The common room was empty at this late hour. Scorpius quickly crossed it to reach his dormitory. He wanted a shower, to get rid of the smell of James, to erase his memories. He passed through the room without caring if the occupants were asleep and reached the bathroom.

He opened the door to the first shower but didn't close it. He turned on the taps frantically and let the water pour over him.

He hadn't removed his wrinkled clothes, but he didn't care. He wanted the smell, the sensations of hands and mouth on his body to disappear. His shirt became heavy, he took it off, and lifted his face to the spray. With his hands pressed against the tiled wall, his tears mingled with the water dripping down his face. His legs gave way, and he stayed on his knees on the floor for a moment.

A sound caught his attention. The door, most likely. Someone had entered the bathroom.

He turned and pressed his back against the wall, waiting for the unknown person to reach the entrance of the shower. He quickly recognized the impossibly green eyes looking at him with gentleness and sadness, the tousled black hair, and the natural awkwardness hidden behind a nonchalant detachment.

Scorpius felt a sense of relief at this appearance.

Without a word, trembling under the waterfall, his split lip no longer bleeding, Scorpius reached out to Albus.

To his great surprise, Potter joined him in the shower, knelt down, and took his hand.

His ebony hair plastered to his face, weighed down by the water, his wet lips turning redder. The young Potter sat close to him, still holding his hand, but made no move to touch him further.

Scorpius appreciated this restraint and respectful distance from the young boy. But he needed him, needed his arms to forget the troubles, the threats, the memories, Dorian, James...

"Make me forget…" he thought as he wrapped his arms around Albus's neck. He gazed into the emerald eyes of the young Potter.

"Don't ask me for anything," he murmured.

"Alright."

And under the waterfall, they held each other for a long time.

End of Chapter 7