Phase 08: I want to reach you
Touya's hands were still shaking after walking away from Athrun. They were balled into fists and were starting to look really pale from how tight he was holding them.
As his mentor likes to do, he stopped to take deep breaths to calm down. He shouldn't stay this agitated for long.
But seeing Cagalli's eyes filled with tears and with Athrun in the same room with her, he couldn't help himself. Was he making her cry again? She was just full of relief when she talked to the Emirs! And yet when Athrun appeared, she was in distress again! Although he didn't hear any screaming coming from him, he just felt like Athrun was at fault here. That guy is really no good!
Touya didn't get to see his Cagalli-nee-sama ever since the first war started. He was sent to a boarding school to study after the first war and only came back to the Mashima household to take over as the next family head after his father was killed during ZAFT's invasion. So, when he saw her again, he was surprised that he would occasionally see this new man lingering around her. His staff let him know that he was Athrun Zala, the son of Patrick Zala and Touya heard only good things about him.
As he worked under Cagalli's wing, he was no longer clueless on what this man meant to her. He's walked in on them several times and they always jumped away from each other so quick, pretending like nothing happened, but Cagalli's face was red and Athrun looked really embarrassed. It was ridiculous that they were extremely bad at hiding it so to save Cagalli nee-sama's dignity, he just feigned ignorance.
Cagalli knew that he knew, but neither confirmed nor denied it. He never asked her either. It was like a silent acknowledgement between them.
But that doesn't mean that his curiosity didn't get the best of him! After seeing Cagalli fiddling something on her neck unconsciously, he realized what it was.
It was a ring!
Knowing Cagalli and her disinterest in those kinds of things, she would never wear jewelry so willingly! The fact that she kept reaching out to it and holding it meant that it was special to her. It couldn't have come from anyone else if she was treating it with so much care. He surmised that it must have been given to her by Athrun.
He had pieced most of the things together on his own, based on what was known by most people about Athrun and of course those that weren't disclosed publicly.
He found out about their first meeting and thought that it was fate that brought them together on that deserted island. Athrun soon joined forces with Orb and helped Cagalli, Kira and Lacus stop the war from escalating further. After the war, he lived here in Orb with an alias and as Cagalli's bodyguard.
All those things, Touya found very noble and heroic of Athrun. He could have easily taken advantage of Cagalli in that deserted island but treated her with kindness and let her go. He also lent his power in their goal to prevent the naturals and coordinators from destroying each other. He also stayed by Cagalli's side and protected her from any danger as her bodyguard.
His problem was when he re-joined ZAFT and left her all alone in Orb. He thought that if he stayed here, then Cagalli would have had the support that she needed to refuse the marriage with the Seirans and signing the treaty with the Earth Alliance forces. Instead, she was beaten down by the Emirs that were strong-arming her as she was young and naïve back then.
Not only that, but by re-enlisting with ZAFT, Athrun pointed his gun towards Orb's soldiers. He knew that Orb faced the Minerva, and he was stationed there at that time. How could he do such a thing? To the very country that took him in for those two years… How could he do that to Cagalli? Then when it was revealed that Durandal was a mastermind that was bent on taking over the world, he had the gall to run back to Orb like nothing happened?
Even if he had his reasons for doing so and his intentions were not malicious, wasn't that all a bit too much?
After finding that out, he started to dislike him. He would be civil with him, but he won't be treating him with much respect like he has for Kira. Sure, he was now with Orb. But what if the time comes that he'll leave Orb and Cagalli again?
That would break Cagalli heart and that he's not going to stand for that.
He was amazed with Cagalli's big heart. She was too forgiving. If Touya was in her position, he would have a hard time trusting him again, yet here she was, welcoming him with open arms. They're even dating in secret now!
Even earlier, they must have been arguing before he came inside the room. Otherwise, why would she be brought to tears like that? And this was after she lost her temper with the media with the mention of his name in the interviews and after she faced the Emirs head on and told them her true feelings about him!
What did Cagalli even see in him? Sure, he was insanely attractive, good at what he does, smart and was nice to her, always helps everyone out when he could, goes the extra mile in his work…
Wait…
Touya shook his head in annoyance. At this rate even he was complimenting him! Unbelievable! He tried to convince himself that there was nothing good about Athrun. Even the rumors about him being a womanizer were unsubstantiated. He could think of nothing other than dredging up his past just to find faults… But he also knew deep down that he had been trying his best to atone for it and to do right by Cagalli and Orb now.
Even in his own interactions with him, Athrun was respectful and was always polite. He even engages in small talk with him when they meet each other to get to know him better. He did that despite usually being reserved and closed-off with most people. If anything, he was the one with the attitude. He was always short with him, not engaging in anything other than a curt greeting and sometimes he would ignore him entirely when Cagalli wasn't looking…
He's really just pissed with his face!
Objectively speaking, Athrun had been nothing but dependable after the second war. This time around, he was committed to Orb, doing dangerous missions to ensure the safety of Orb… He was one of the reasons why Orb wasn't shot down by the Requiem and the reason why Kira and Orb citizens were even alive…
What was he truly being angry at Athrun's existence for?
If he was being honest with himself, he just hated how he was special to Cagalli. He hated how he has Cagalli's heart despite everything.
Touya had always looked up to Cagalli ever since they were kids. To him, she was like a ray of sunshine, lighting up the room with her energy wherever she went. She did as she pleased, and he watched her in awe. He remembered her climbing and jumping down from trees. She would ride a horse and letting it gallop at full speed, much to the panic of everyone around her. She was always going off on her own to explore. She wasn't afraid of trying new things. She would always get scolded for a lot of things, but she always looked like she had tons of fun.
Not only that, but she also always stood for what is right. No one would get bullied with her around as she treated people equally. She couldn't care less if you were a noble or a staff, she would make friends with everyone. She was generous and kind. She would voice out her thoughts when she feels that something isn't right.
Touya wanted to be like her.
Now that they're older, Touya thinks that she's still the same person that he admired but grew up to be an even more amazing person.
She was selfless and made sure that everyone around her was well-taken care of. She took care of her comrades and made sure that they had livelihood, a place to stay and gave them resources that they need. She made sure that her brother is safe and live a quiet and peaceful life while she herself continues to fulfill her duty to the country.
Every day, she makes the conscious decision to serve Orb's citizens and to make them happy. He didn't even know if he had the same amount of dedication and passion as she had. Even when she was extremely spent or having a bad day, she would pull herself together and carry on. Her own personal desires took a backseat as Orb's happiness was her main priority. She has made a ton sacrifices there isn't an ounce of regret or complaint.
There was one time, she was in front of crowd to address the nation. Touya was behind her but as he observed her, he felt the sheer weight of responsibilities upon her petite shoulders. Everyone had expectations of her, they depended on her and needed her guidance. Such immense pressure for a girl barely even twenty to lead a country.
But even so, she stood there with unwavering resolve and faced everyone with her head held high, answering their expectations with her determination to take Orb to a better place.
She was so radiant and it was a sight to behold.
For Touya, that time was that moment she shone the brightest.
Working with Cagalli every day, those feelings of admiration admittedly turned into something more. He didn't know when it started but eventually, he found himself seeing her in a different light and she was always on his mind. Although he knew that she doesn't see him as anything more than a younger brother that she looked out for, he couldn't help but yearn for more.
But as life would have it, his feelings would remain unrequited as Cagalli has eyes for someone else. She hasn't noticed it herself, but her expression always changes when it came to him. Her eyes would twinkle at the knowledge of him arriving to the capital, she would softly smile at the mention of his name, she would be in a good mood the whole day after she gets to talk to him and when she rushes to finish work to get home, it was probably to see him.
Now she bravely confessed to the Emirs that it was him that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
She was undeniably in love with him and Touya could only watch in the sidelines, with his feelings tucked away, never to be revealed.
He was so jealous of him. He wanted to be Cagalli's special person, but it was him basking in that kind of privilege. He was the one that Cagalli wanted to stay by her side. He was the one that Cagalli wanted to go home to.
Even when Cagalli had every reason to move on from him, he still had a special place in her heart, and she couldn't let him go.
How he always wished their meeting on that island never happened… How he wished many things turned out differently so that it was him that Cagalli saw as a man. But of course this was all wishful thinking.
Touya would probably never like him in this lifetime, he was sure of it.
Miriallia was walking around in her bedroom after a cold shower. She got home early from work to prepare her things for tomorrow's departure. She was just finishing packing when her phone started ringing. She zipped up her luggage and walked over to her phone, wondering who it could be.
She saw the caller ID and didn't expect her to be calling at this time. "Cagalli hi there!" She answered it to see a very distressed Cagalli on the other end of the screen.
"Miriallia…" Her voice sounded like she was in low spirits.
She sat down in her dresser, put her phone down on her desk so she can take a good look at her friend. Cagalli was still in her office, seated in her desk. "What's wrong?"
"Would you know if Athrun is still in the office?" Cagalli asked. "I want to talk to him but he's not answering his phone…"
"Oh yes!" Miriallia was brushing her hair and put it down after a few strokes. "Shipment of equipment from Morgenroete has arrived and he was overseeing everything from checking, testing and docking the items in the ships. I'm not sure how long that would take though… Sorry…" As those things weren't her expertise, Miriallia wasn't needed in those tasks at all. Athrun gave her permission to leave work early to get some rest for tomorrow.
"I see…" Cagalli tried to hide her disappointment, but it was obvious to Miriallia at this point. Throughout the years, they've gotten closer as friends. They would occasionally catch up in person or on the phone. So now, any change in Cagalli's tone, she was able to pick up immediately.
"Listen to this Miriallia…"
"What is it?" Miriallia listened intently as she rummaged through her desk, looking for other possible items that she may have forgotten to pack.
Cagalli hesitated first before speaking again. "Athrun's upset… Uhm… The reason is because… I don't know where to even start… You know how people always love to talk about my marriage right?" She babbled on.
"Yes, I know." She nodded, very much aware of her friend's situation. It was everywhere she went. At work, people talk about, it was on the television, printed on the newspapers, published online. It intensified after it was announced that she was going to the Kingdom of Scandinavia for the ball after Prince Fredrik's coronation. It must be tiring being Cagalli. She was already busy enough with her duties and yet her personal life is always the talk of the town.
"Apparently, he's also been brought up in relation to that topic… And the comments haven't been great…?" She continued. Miriallia also knew about this. In fact, she even scolded two of her junior colleagues gossiping about them just yesterday!
"There have been those comments going around, yeah…" Miriallia confirmed, meant to imply that she generally heard it. She didn't find it necessary to tell Cagalli about the incident yesterday as she might ask about more details. She'd like to think that those two girls would be more careful talking carelessly like that in the future.
"Usually he would just ignore those, but I really think he's at his limit…" Cagalli told her. To her, it really looked like Cagalli was feeling guilty about it but couldn't do anything about it.
"I see…" Miriallia didn't know what to reply to that. Yesterday, Athrun look crushed listening to the gossip from the two girls. She was sure it wasn't the first time that he heard of opinions like that. Hearing it constantly must have beaten his self-esteem down. She felt bad for him…
"I'm also not sure if my outburst this morning that was all over the news affected him too." Miriallia heard about it from her co-workers during lunch time. It was the only thing everyone talked about, but in a hushed tone because Athrun was in the same building. She felt relief when he left to visit Cagalli and hoped that he would just stay oblivious of it.
"But when I was talking to the Emirs about marriage, he overheard our conversation, and I think he misunderstood it badly." Cagalli continued with her story.
"What do you mean?" Miriallia asked. "What did he misunderstand?"
"I'm not sure what he heard because we didn't get to talk properly. But he knows that Emir Watanabe probed me on whether I wanted to marry him, but I didn't say anything for a long time… So, I think he misunderstood me and interpreted my silence as something negative…" Cagalli now looked like she was about to cry.
"But why did you not say anything though? Don't you want to get married to him?" This made Miriallia confused. They chatted about that topic before and Cagalli didn't indicate otherwise.
"Well about that…" Cagalli paused for a bit, and that made Miriallia a bit nervous. "I… I was just embarrassed okay! Admitting that to the Emirs is a bit…" She then saw the colors on Cagalli's face change to a shade of red. "But I did admit it eventually! And the Emirs were all in support of that, but I don't think Athrun heard the whole thing, so that's why he was really dejected when we talked!"
"So that's why…" That was the reason why, she was just embarrassed to admit it to the Emirs! Miriallia was relieved that it was the case. But what bad timing! Athrun probably spiraled into a state of overthinking too.
"That's why I wanted to clear things up!" Cagalli sighed in defeat. "But before we could get to that part, I had an urgent call that I need to take… It's so annoying! When the call ended, Athrun already went back to the military headquarters… So, I'm trying to catch him now if he's available."
"I don't know what time they'll finish up with the remaining work… I'm sorry…" It would have been helpful if they got to hash it out as soon as possible but there were just so many urgent things happening around them with the joint operation. Miriallia felt bad that she couldn't do anything more to help her.
"It's okay, you don't have anything to apologize for…" Cagalli shook her head. "But what should I do Miriallia? What can I do to make him feel better?"
Miriallia thought about it for a bit… She didn't know what to tell her, after all, she wasn't really seeing anyone right now… So, was she really qualified to give Cagalli some relationship advice?
But seeing her friend in distressed, she wanted to help her as best as she can. "I don't think there's any other way but to clarify his misconception on what he heard. I'm sure knowing that his worries are unfounded will make him feel a lot better." She reassured her. "Sometimes, it's just that simple when it comes to him. You just really need to express how you feel and what he means to you."
Knowing how Athrun is incredibly smitten with her, to Miriallia, that is the best solution. He's probably beating himself up over worrying about where he stood as Cagalli's lifelong partner so hearing it directly from her would make him incredibly happy. He would be obnoxious about it too…
"You're right… I just need to be more direct with him." Cagalli still sighed. "But the thing is, I have to leave soon to depart to the Kingdom of Scandinavia, but I haven't been able to reach Athrun successfully…"
Miriallia almost wanted to suggest that she could pass on the message from her to Athrun, but she didn't think that was a good idea. It would be so much better if it came from her anyway and Athrun might feel weird knowing that she knows a lot about their relationship.
"Thank you Miriallia for the time and also for the advice." Cagalli gave her a smile, thankful for her listening ear. "I'll figure something out. I'll try to call once I get to Scandinavia. I have to go now; we're leaving for the flight to Scandinavia."
"No problem." Miriallia gave her a wink. "Have a safe trip! Don't forget to bring the important package that I even had Athrun send over to you!" [1]
"Ah yes!" Cagalli held the brown paper bag to show her that it was in her possession already. "Thank you for this too!"
"Anytime! I'll talk to you soon!" Miriallia waved at her before the screen went black.
Miriallia grabbed her phone and threw herself on her bed. She really hoped that they work things out soon.
She hugged her pillow and looked at the pictures that were stuck on her wall by the door. Various pictures of family and friends were there, those that she took with her camera as a photojournalist and those that she just took when she felt like it. Sometimes she re-arranged the photos on there, added some, replaced some, but there was one photo on there that she could never remove.
It was a picture of her and Tolle. They were still students back then in Heliopolis, smiling happily at the camera.
A sad smile crept on her face.
Supporting Cagalli's happiness was one thing, but doing the same for Athrun was another. It would have been perfectly acceptable that she just ignored his existence for the rest of her life or even lashed out at him at one point. But her she was, actively rooting for the two of them. Some people would certainly find that absurd and would think she is a saint for doing so. For how could she forgive him and even give him support, especially when he was the reason that she lost her own happiness?
Tolle had been her first love and first boyfriend. He always made her laugh with his silly jokes and stories. He was kind and always helped his friends when needed. He could be a bit lazy at times, but he was dependable when it mattered the most. He was very sweet and affectionate to her. Those were all reasons why she fell in love with him in the first place. As a young girl, she even thought about their possible future together.
But now he was gone.
Sometimes, she found herself lost in her thoughts, thinking of what could have been if Tolle was still here with her. The dates and the adventures they could have gone to after the war ended, the memories that they would have made together, the pictures that she would have captured of him and posted on her photo wall. There would be too many photos that this wall wouldn't be enough for all of it.
Now all of those could only be "what ifs". There was no use brooding over it, but she couldn't help it at times.
Tolle would have wanted her to be happy.
Long ago, she decided that she would move past her hatred. When she met Athrun for the first time and found out about how he was the one who killed Tolle, she felt overwhelming sadness and hatred. Tolle had been dead, fighting to protect them but then she saw this man who took his life, perfectly fine and alive. How utterly unfair this was…
But then she remembered how she almost tried to stab Dearka and what Kira said about the cycle of hatred. If she continued to harbor hatred for Athrun or for the whole coordinator race and decided to take revenge on Tolle, then what would have become of her? She would turn into a person that she would have hated, and she would be filled with so much regret.
When Athrun decided to join their fight, Miriallia couldn't see a person that was evil. All she could see was a teenager that joined the fighting because he too had something to protect. He enlisted in the military and diligently followed his superiors' orders, which resulted in naturals dying. But wasn't she the same? Didn't she also have a hand in letting a number of coordinators die in the battlefield because she chose to stay and help the Archangel crew?
Athrun didn't kill Tolle because he wanted to kill him, he was killed because they were all fighting a war.
When Athrun found out about her relationship with Tolle during the time they went to space with only three ships, he was very remorseful and bowed his head low to her. [2] He said that there were no words to describe the pain that he must have caused her and understood that he was undeserving of her forgiveness. But even so, he wanted to tell her that he was very sorry for everything.
Back then, Miriallia couldn't say anything back and turned away, her face close to tears. She couldn't find it in herself to muster the words "I forgive you" at that moment. But as time went on, seeing him awkwardly help them out from time to time with ship repairs, fight to keep everyone in the three battleships alive and destroy the GENESIS, the weapon that his own father manufactured to exterminate all naturals, she soon found it in her heart to forgive him.
Now years have passed and the more that she got to know Athrun, she was convinced that he wasn't a bad person after all. He was reserved and could be very annoying and awkward at times, but he was a very special person to Cagalli, her treasured friend that also showed her so much love and understanding after the war.
He chose to be with Cagalli even though it was hard to be with her responsibilities. He was willing to put his life on the line for her and for Orb and atone for his sins in the past. So, she found herself not only completely forgiving him, but also wishing them happiness together.
Cagalli didn't even want to talk about her relationship or even mention Athrun to her at the start. She knew that Cagalli didn't feel right to talk about him and that it might come off as very insensitive to her feelings. It was her that coaxed Cagalli into it, telling her that she was genuinely okay with it now and that she wanted to help her as much as she can in her relationship. A small part of her also just wanted to tease Athrun and make him stammer a bit.
Looking at the picture of Tolle, she knew that she made the right choice, and that Tolle would be proud of her if he knew for choosing forgiveness instead of living a life unable to move forward from her hatred.
She stood up from her bed and snapped out of her thoughts. "Alright, one last check if there's something I forgot to pack!"
Kira had just put Ren down to sleep in his bed after a long day of playing. He tucked his son under his thick and warm blanket, when he heard the door open. Lacus popped her head inside the room.
"What is it?" Kira stood up carefully to avoid waking up Ren.
"Your phone is ringing." Lacus informed him in a hushed tone. "It's been ringing over and over again, it might be urgent."
"Oh, I see. I'll get it then, thank you for telling me." He left his phone in his office, but Lacus probably heard it while she was in the living room, clearing away the toys that Ren played with.
He walked into his office and sat down to check. It came from Athrun. It was already late, and he wondered if there were some urgent adjustments he had to make with the OS before the start of the mission tomorrow. He booted up his PC, put on his earpiece on and called his best friend through his computer via video. Torii flew through the open crack of his door and perched on his shoulder as usual.
Torii!
Athrun quickly answered him, looking a bit down in the dumps.
"Athrun, hey, what's up? Were there any issues with the OS I sent?" Kira immediately went straight to business. If he called because of that, then he'd like to work on it as soon as possible and have it ready before they leave.
"Kira… No, it's working perfectly fine. Thank you for that." Kira felt relief when he heard that it was all good on that front, so why did he have a sour face on?
"So, what's wrong?" He asked and could only think of one possibility. "Did you have a fight with Cagalli?"
Athrun was taken aback. To Kira, it looked like he hit the nail right in the coffin. He composed himself before responding. "Not exactly…"
"Oh…." Kira didn't know what that "not exactly" meant so he just decided to continue probing. "What happened?"
"I think I… So earlier what happened was… Cagalli… Ugh…" Athrun was all over the place and Kira just sat there patiently waiting for him to get his thoughts in order. He can be like this sometimes when his emotions were getting the best of him. "Do you think Cagalli wants to marry me?"
"Huh?" Kira blinked and took a bit to process what he just heard. "Where is this coming from? This isn't like you…" Even if they haven't taken that step yet, surely it would only be a matter of time before it happened because Cagalli loves him very much, so Kira was confused as to why Athrun would even ask this.
They talked for a bit with Athrun recounting the recent events to Kira , which provided the much needed context to his question. He also just found out that Athrun never broached the topic of marriage with Cagalli. Kira wasn't the type to pry on their relationship, so he was surprised. All he knew was that they were doing just fine now.
Athrun said years back that there was no need to rush things between them. Cagalli was obviously busy with her duties as Orb's representative and tensions between naturals and coordinators were just starting to ease. He was fine to wait for her for no matter how it takes, and Kira knew it never was going to be an easy road for them.
When Athrun finally told Cagalli how he felt and Cagalli reciprocated, Kira was extremely happy for them. Even though it wasn't an ideal situation, they still found a way to make it work. They didn't need to sacrifice their happiness all for the sake of their duties. For Kira, he just wanted the two people he cared for to have that. They deserved it after everything that they have been through, putting their own duties first before their own personal desires.
When they visit, they always had that kind of understanding between that he thought they already discussed it. Although their relationship was a secret for most people, they still were committed to each other. But he somehow understood why it never took place. With Athrun taking it slow and going at Cagalli's pace, he would feel like he was putting pressure on her by asking, thinking it would have been a complicated position to put her in. But by not doing that, it would be hard on him too.
It was tough and Kira felt sorry for him.
But listening to Athrun ramble, his thoughts are getting the best of him.
"Athrun, hold on, I think you're getting the wrong idea." Kira finally spoke up after letting Athrun rant a bit. He needed to put breaks on Athrun's mind that was working overtime, thinking of the worst.
"Do you really think so?" Athrun didn't sound too convinced.
"Cagalli is the type to get embarrassed with displays of affection. Even when it's only me and Lacus around, she can't even hold hands with you without feeling so conscious. Wasn't there a time when she couldn't look at you because she would get all red? Knowing her, when she was confronted, she could have been caught off-guard." Kira wasn't just saying this to make Athrun feel better, he genuinely thought that was what happened and Athrun just misunderstood it badly.
"When you put it like that…" Athrun was starting to sound a little more hopeful.
"Besides, she's only like that with you…" Kira pointed out the obvious, which might not be too noticeable for his best friend. "I think that's a very strong indication that she's into you, don't you think?"
"What do you mean?" Athrun asked.
"She always gets flustered when it comes to you. If they had asked her the same question but about Prince Fredrik or anyone else, she would have shot that down quickly… She didn't even flinch when the interviewer asked her about Prince Fredrik but the moment they started to talk about you, she got angry."
"I see… You might be right…" Athrun knew all of this, but Kira felt that at this point he just needed some reassurance with everything that was clouding his judgment. He was in a low point now.
"I'm right." Kira corrected him. He was sure of it, and it resulted in a pouting Athrun at the other end of the line. But at least he didn't look so depressed now! That was an improvement!
"In any case, you just need to talk it out with Cagalli. I'm pretty sure it's not what you think it is so don't worry too much about it." Kira encouraged him.
"I will, she's on her flight to the Kingdom of Scandinavia right now. But hopefully, there can be a time that I can catch her even if it's going to be hectic… I want to apologize to her. She was starting to cry earlier, and I feel bad about it." With the upcoming operation, it was going to be a busy time for him, and he might not get to talk properly with her in the coming days.
Kira could sense his frustration and was worried about Athrun being distracted during this important time and he couldn't let that happen. "Cagalli loves you so much. Don't let the nonsense that you hear let you think otherwise."
They got off the call and Kira was met with Lacus relaxing in their living room, with a cup of tea ready for him.
"How's Athrun?" She asked, already knowing who the caller was but she respected their privacy by not using her Accord abilities to find out what they talked about. Even if she could read Kira's mind, Lacus still preferred to have actual conversations with him since it was just mostly the three of them day on day.
"Thank you." Kira sat down and had a quick sip of tea before relaxing in his seat. "Athrun's not been feeling too confident about himself when it comes to staying by Cagalli's side. There's been a lot of talk about him on that regard and those that stuck with him are the ones that aren't good."
"Ara ara, that's not good!" Lacus exclaimed and Mr. Pink Haro imitated her like always. That's not good! That's unacceptable!
"But honestly, I just can't believe they haven't talked about marriage yet, no wonder Athrun is so unsettled." Kira told her.
"Cagalli-san isn't against it. She just doesn't think it's an issue which is why she's never brought it up." Lacus remarked, which Kira agreed with. "She does plan on doing so once her term has ended and Touya-san finally takes over, but I don't think she ever said it out loud to Athrun."
"I think Athrun also knows about that, but the opinion of other people is also weighing on his mind, on whether he is a suitable partner for Cagalli." Kira sighed. He understood him, after all, since there was a time, he also thought of himself unworthy of Lacus' love. "Even though he even punched me for thinking the same back then…" He grimaced thinking about that time he received a beating, even though he deserved it for lashing out at his comrades and thinking the worst of Lacus.
Lacus chuckled, knowing what was running through her husband's mind right now. "It is indeed difficult being in their position. Cagalli-san is their nation's beloved princess and of course, Orb's people want her to be happy and to be with a worthy man. But I think Athrun just needs to remember what's important. He doesn't need to be any qualifications to be loved by Cagalli-san. He doesn't need the approval of others to be with her, what's important is what Cagalli-san feels about him. He shouldn't beat himself over it because I'm sure it's the same for him towards Cagalli-san."
"That's right." Kira smiled with so much love for his wife, and Lacus did the same. Lacus love for him wasn't because he was someone that was useful to her or because he had a certain standing, she just loved him for who he was and who he could be. He too loved Lacus not because of her affluence, her singing, her appearance but because of who she was on the inside.
Athrun just needs to remember that, and the best way is to hear it from Cagalli herself.
"Also, we're at the time that acceptance of naturals and coordinators are starting to strengthen." Lacus said with a hopeful smile. "Their love will be a testament of that. I'm sure of it."
"And if needed, we'll help them as much as we can." Kira nodded, ready to fight again for the sake of the happiness of the two people he cared so much for.
They stayed silent for a long time, with Lacus resting her head on his shoulder and Kira relaxing in that position.
"Shall I use my Accord powers to help them and erase these thoughts from Athrun's mind?" Lacus then broke the ice to ask him that question.
"Lacus…" Kira's voice trailed off, slightly worried. He knew that Lacus was joking, but sometimes she can get a bit scary.
"Just kidding." She then laughed again.
Notes:
[1] What even is inside this paper bag?
[2] I just invented this because SEED official didn't all the loose knots together in the series, novel or manga. It probably happened behind the scenes because if it didn't, then I don't see Miriallia getting along with him or even supporting Cagalli/him in the slightest.