Hello, lovely people!

I hope life is treating everyone kindly these days :).

Huge thanks to all of you who are still patient enough with all the slow-burn going on in this story!

As I mentioned last week, this chapter is also unedited, as my wonderful friend and beta reader is taking the time she needs to focus on her health.

Let's see what happened after the almost-kiss of the previous chapter!

Esme didn't ask me too many questions when I returned, even though she had plenty. She was simply grateful that I had accepted her presence there, so she didn't want to scare me away with her curiosity, out of all things.

Furthermore, it appeared that I was pretty decent at hiding my neurotic state from her. She wasn't even close to guessing just how close Bella and I got—and neither was Alice, whose radar luckily didn't catch what could have happened when our mother called her a few hours ago.

Of course, Esme did have some questions she couldn't help but voice out loud.

"Shouldn't Bella be sleeping at this hour?"

"She is sleeping now. She just wanted to talk first." Feeling the need to ease my mother's worries, I went on. "We didn't get to talk much when I returned those books, so she asked me if we could catch up before heading to bed."

"May I ask where you did all this talking?"

"In her backyard."

"Oh."

I heard her worrying thoughts about what this late night meeting meant in the long run, but I appreciated the fact that she kept them to herself.

Pleasantly enough, Esme allowed her questions to rest for a while. Soon after, she asked me to help her set up the few furniture pieces she had bought while I was away hunting the day prior. She had already set up the basic utilities in my absence, so the least I could do was help with the remaining necessities. There was an unexpected sense of calm in this shared activity—partly because it was a great distraction from the trainwreck of my own mind, but mostly because, if I had to be honest, I had been missing my mother more than I was willing to let on.

Once we were finished, the house was no longer a void shell.

"Now it looks a bit like home, don't you think?" she asked me proudly, as she analyzed the space surrounding us.

We had a tan couch now, as well as two armchairs flanking it on both sides. There was also a wooden table in front of the couch, with nothing on it apart from an empty vase. Across the room, close to the large window wall facing the forest, Esme had her own painting spot, with a large easel to complete it.

I had to admit—it looked homely in a way that took me by surprise, filling me up with long forgotten feelings. Those feelings only deepened as I realized just how bright Esme's smile was. Determined to keep the smile on her face, I asked her to wait for me as I went outside to pick a bouquet of wildflowers for the empty vase.

As I picked coneflowers and daisies, I took a moment to cherish the fact that the physical distance between me and Bella offered me the illusion of control at long last. Now that my precious love was safe in her bed, sleeping, and I was here, ripping flowers from their roots, it was easier to imagine that I had enough strength to walk away before it was too late. Undoubtedly, that decision was going to ruin me, but at least I knew I would not be leaving an utterly devastated Bella behind. I would leave behind this new version of her, who had Jacob by her side. And even if I viscerally hated the way he behaved with her the other night, at the end of the day I liked to believe that I was reasonable enough to accept that he was her choice. She knew him better than I did. Maybe his forward advances had been a rash mistake and now he was aware of it too. For all I knew, maybe he had already apologized to her when I wasn't around—it wasn't like I could go around and ask her about it, so all I could do was hope.

If I was offering him too much credit, it was only because I wanted to believe that Bella's choice had been the right one—the one that would bring her the most happiness in the long run. I felt compelled to cling to that conviction, because it was the only one that prevented me from outright murdering Jacob.

I spent the night going back and forth between possibilities. On one hand, I wanted to convince myself that it was not too late to act in good faith and leave. On the other hand, I was set on keeping my promise of seeing her again today. But what was I going to say to her, when I would inevitably see her again at her workplace? Was I supposed to acknowledge my almost-slip? Was I supposed to apologize? The sane option seemed to tell her I was sorry, even if the devil on my shoulder was more than pleased with how far I had gone. For the sake of keeping up appearances, she had to believe that I was sorry.

When the morning came, Esme asked me about my plans for the day.

"I promised Bella I'd see her again," I informed her. "So I'll drop by the library."

"And do you plan to go there soon?"

I listened intently to her thoughts, until I caught the far end of a stray wish—she was hoping I would join her in a creative pursuit. She was set on enriching her recently-started photography collection with photos from the deep heart of Snider Peak, which was less than one-hour drive away from us. And even if she tried to hide it, I could hear that she didn't want to do this for herself as much as she wanted to give me the chance to take a break from my self-deprecating routine.

"Actually, I can arrive at the library around the time she's getting ready to close the place. That way I won't get in her way too much."

"Thank you."

Later on, as we passed through the lush forest leading up to the peak of the mountain, I was grateful for the sun glimmering its light through the green ceiling of leaves above us—a sunny day meant that Bella had at least one reason to smile today. I would have done anything to witness that smile from up close. Ideally, to witness it as soon as she opened her eyes and she saw the rays filtering through her bedroom window.

"You seem to be in a good mood," Esme noticed.

"Do I?"

"At least a better mood than two nights ago."

"Can you blame me? I didn't expect any guests two nights ago."

"I know you didn't. I just figured you would be a tad happier to see your family. You haven't been alone like that since…"

She hesitated, wondering whether to go through with the rest of the sentence. She didn't have to say anything, of course—I had already heard what needed to be heard. Even now, so many decades later, my mother still couldn't bear the memory of me having lived in complete solitude. My bout of rebellion had left a deep mark in her heart—a mark that mostly healed in time, once she grew confident enough that our family bond far surpassed my downcast disposition. But the wound opened right back when I chose isolation again, digging deeper and further into her heart than ever.

"It is different this time," I sighed.

"That's what worries me. This time, your choice was not born out of a sense of insurgence or boredom. This choice was born out of loss."

I stood by as she leaned over a bush full of thimbleberries, to capture a close shot with her camera. It pained me to see that her worries about me occupied such a large portion of her mind—had it been like this for the entire duration of our separation? Or did it simply get worse as a result of seeing me again at long last?

I feared to know the truth.

"It is my burden to carry, not yours," I replied, once she got back up, and we started walking again.

"Now that is the problem. I know you are strong, but some burdens can be too heavy to carry, even for you. And I think this is part of the reason why you are here, even if you do not realize it just yet."

"What?"

"It's not about just missing your mate. You miss your best friend too. And Bella was both."

"She was," I responded to her fleeting thought. "And yes, I do miss her friendship. She understands parts of me that even I don't understand." I stopped, pondering a new thought. "Is it really so awful that I'm seeking to be her friend now?"

"No." My mother's response was in perfect alignment with her line of thinking. "But I can imagine it gets a little confusing for her, when you consider everything. You cut off any means of communication with her for almost two years and now… you're dialing back on it. And not exactly little by little, but all at once. It can potentially be overwhelming."

Overwhelming. That was an excellent descriptor for how I had been feeling. Going from the blur of days and nights spent in solitude, forcing myself to not think about Bella, to actively spending time with her—talking to her, watching over her as she slept, comforting her, almost kissing her—was a lot. So was it completely out of the realm of possibilities for Bella to feel just as staggered by the peculiar turn of events?

One question remained, of course. How exactly was it affecting her?

"I don't know what else to do," I admitted. "I suppose I started fighting a losing battle as soon as I revealed myself to her, but that's beside the point. I'm in too deep."

"If you were to ask me, you deserve to be happy, so… there are ways to get her back. For instance, you could—"

"No. Absolutely not. I can't have her back."

"If you really mean it, you can always set boundaries."

"I've already done that!" Before I even finished that sentence, the flash image of my lips trembling perilously close to Bella's neck, thirsting for contact, resurfaced. Now that was anything but a clear boundary on my part. "Sort of," I added, ashamed of myself.

"Sort of is simply not enough with the history you two share, son." Esme stopped again, her mind caught between the sight of the bright pink fireweed flowers hidden beneath an old tree and what she wanted to say next. "Falling back in love is so easy…"

"That's not the case here, but… I understand where you're coming from." Frankly, I might have not been as susceptible to admit that out loud if the memory of what I had almost done didn't haunt me so thoroughly. "I need to have a talk with her later."

Esme smiled, right before sneaking behind the tree where the fireweed flowers hid. She took several photos there, pleased with the way that light and shadow danced on the rosy petals. We continued to move through the forest, making our way to the top of the mountain. By the time we reached the peak, the sun had managed to hide behind a cluster of clouds. My mother used this as an opportunity to play with the brightness settings on her camera more, finding new ways to work with what the remaining sunlights offered.

Accompanying her on the rest of the trip didn't really take my mind off my problems, even if at some point I allowed my obsession with Bella to take a back seat, so that Esme could fill me in on what I had been missing about our family. She took me through everything: the little things, such as Emmett's decision to build a small at-home arcade games paradise in their house in Juneau, as a result of his newfound passion, but also the bigger things, such as Jasper and Alice deciding to have a new wedding ceremony. While they had never been as grand as Emmett and Rosalie when it came to these things, they still liked to renew their vows every once in a few decades, as a testament to their ever growing love.

Of course, I had been missing other things too.

For instance, I had no idea that Rosalie took a leap of faith and decided to record a few classical pieces that she composed on the piano and release them anonymously on the internet, under a grandiose sounding pseudonym, finding unexpected appreciation in that niche. I also didn't know that my father finally decided to allow himself to go on a vacation, after years of almost never taking time off from work, unless absolutely necessary. He and Esme planned to take a trip in the African wilderness for two weeks. And while she didn't explicitly say so, I could tell, from her thoughts, that this trip was something that both of them needed—apparently, in the wake of one of their children venturing on a path of loneliness, they had forgotten to spend as much time together as they used to, back when the family wasn't broken up.

It was odd, but somewhat reassuring, to comprehend the fact that their lives went on, while my own felt utterly stuck in the same place. Certainly, they all had a sense of meaning that kept them going, regardless of any adversities along the way. But I had none. Other than the fact that Bella was alive, I no longer had any threads to tie me to the idea that life was worth living.

Shamefully, I almost… envied them.

I envied them for how they got to live and thrive alongside their mates for the rest of time. It seemed like the ultimate unattainable luxury to even dream about having something like that with Bella. Because even if she was actually available and interested… I wasn't about to drag her down into my world of shadows again. Not after how it almost killed her the first time around.

And the alternative… the tragedy that would have allowed me to keep Bella forever… I couldn't even begin to fathom it without my heart folding in on itself and crumbling to smithereens.

Crushed by the renewed desperation, there was only one thing I wanted to do once Esme and I arrived back in my car. After our day-long trip, there wasn't a lot of time left, just barely enough to make it back to Forks before Gossamer Grove closed, so I hit the gas pedal like a maniac, human laws be damned. I made sure to drop Esme home, not willing to risk her overhearing whatever it was that I would say to Bella—I was still undecided about the precise wording, but I knew it was not the kind of conversation that a mother would like to hear.

I came short of bursting the door of the library open, knowing that I had less than ten minutes to work with. Bella was obviously finished with her work for the day, as she was now standing up by her desk, struggling to gather her thick hair in a low bun. Her hands froze when she saw me and a beautiful pink bloomed across her cheeks in an instant.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner," I said.

She finished her bun hastily, leaving plenty of clandestine strands free. Somehow, the disordered nature of her hair made her beauty even more excruciating to endure. She wasn't even trying, yet I was ready to fall to my knees and worship her if she asked. And her neck… nothing could hide its pulsing perfection, nor how intoxicatingly delicious it smelled. If my memory wasn't faultless, I would have doubted that I got so close to caressing that perfection with my lips last night.

"I thought you forgot."

"Impossible. I promised you, didn't I?"

"That you did."

She smiled as she grabbed her bag from the chair behind the desk, but there was an unusual tension in her voice. I couldn't afford to examine the distress too deeply, since she seemed to be in a hurry, so I skipped the friendly banter, getting straight to the point.

"Bella, about last night…"

Her eyes widened and started a weird dance between glancing at me, then at the door, then back at me. "It's all good, you don't have to say anything."

"No, I really do. I need to make something clear."

"Can it wait a bit? I—"

"Please, give me two minutes and I won't ask for anything else."

"It's simply not the best time right now."

"Then one minute, I'll be quick," I begged, staring her down. She didn't protest this time—or rather I didn't give her enough time to do so—so I pushed on, while I still had enough impudence to face my mistakes and set some clear boundaries, as Esme advised me. "My thirst caused me to get too close for comfort and I apologize for that. I know I should have been more careful, and not just because you are getting married. You… you've been so understanding and trusting with me since I got here, and the last thing I want to do is to breach that generosity. I want to be—or at least learn to be—a good friend to you. No mishaps of any kind on my part."

As the words poured out of me, Bella's eyes resumed their dance between my face and the door. And maybe if I hadn't been so absorbed by her, I would have done the smart thing and paid attention to my surroundings a little better. For me, it was second nature to dim the loudness of the world when I was around her. After all, the rest of the world never held anything of substance to capture my curiosity when Bella was right in front of me.

Well, until now.

Not far away from the library, I recognized a familiar mental voice growing closer, that stopped my discourse in its tracks, making me understand Bella's previous hesitation in letting me proceed with my speech. My timing couldn't have been poorer.

With Jacob seconds away from us, I analyzed my options.

I considered disappearing, but that entailed using my full speed in a public space, which was all but forbidden. But… I could try to stick to a human pace. Yes, it was doable. However, a slow walking rhythm was also a clear guarantee that I wouldn't be fast enough to escape a human's notice. Jacob would easily see me, which was precisely the thing I was hoping to avoid.

Maybe if I hid? There were plenty of corners where I could already see myself drenched in the shadows. The possibility made me shudder, realizing just how unnecessarily dramatic that would have been. Besides, hiding would have contradicted what I had just told Bella. Could she really trust that I had good intentions if the first thing I wanted to do upon facing her future husband was to hide?

Goddamn, I had to stay. No excuses.

I took several steps back—a futile precaution, really, since I already knew he didn't like me. "Bella, I didn't realize—"

"You're here to return books," she whispered complicitly, right as the door opened and Jacob walked in. I nodded in agreement, wordlessly assuring her that we were on the same page. Then, ignoring the sinking feeling in my stomach, I turned around.

Face to face, Jacob Black had not changed too drastically since the last time I saw him. He was perhaps just one inch shorter than me, but certainly taller than I remembered. But other than that, his face appeared to be unchanged, save for the sunken circles underneath his eyes—if I had to guess, a result of his adult duties taking a toll on him. Still, there was no use denying the obvious—he had grown into what could be objectively described as a handsome man.

"What. The. Fuck?"

He had never been my biggest fan when Bella and I were still together, so the sharp annoyance of his mental voice was to be expected, to some extent. I quickly came to realize that the feeling was mutual—I didn't like him either. I couldn't, not knowing what I knew. I tried to dig into his brain, hoping that some memory of him apologizing to Bella after how he treated her a few days ago would show up, but his thoughts were too anchored in the present moment to slip.

"Honey, I didn't know you were expecting visitors so late."

He made sure to emphasize the last word, but kept a polite tone. His thoughts, however, were anything but polite. "He's got some fucking nerve to show up like this. What is he trying to prove? Or rather what is she trying to prove? It's not like she doesn't know what I think about him. That's some selfish shit on her end."

"Hi, Jacob," I said. I tried to chase away my frown upon hearing just how poisonous his mind got from the onslaught of jealousy. It was an onerous task to remind myself that there was once a time when his mind used to be a much more agreeable place. "It's been a while."

"He's just finished returning some books," Bella explained casually, surprising me with how at ease she seemed to be with this small—but significant—lie. I hated myself for putting her into a position in which she had to lie for my sake.

"I see."

Jacob measured me with squinted eyes as he walked towards us. I could hear him analyzing my stance, making an effort to decide what it was that he didn't like about me the most. "What did she ever see in him anyway? He's too pale. Fucking zombies have more colour in their cheeks than he does. Creepy fucker."

In the background of his mental chatter, I could understand that he was dead set on making a certain kind of statement, so I wasn't surprised when he walked up to Bella and grabbed her waist—so harshly, too harshly—and leaned in to place a long, vehement kiss on her mouth.

No, I wasn't surprised.

But devastated? Yes. Beyond repair.

It only took a second for that sight to break me. I turned away immediately after, knowing my limits. But even with my eyes guarded from the visual pain of witnessing Bella being kissed by another man right in front of me, I could still hear.

The wet sounds of lips colliding and moving in unison, their sloppy soughing getting me to forget all about the usual pain caused by my thirst and succumb to a much more nefarious torture.

Then there were Jacob's thoughts, so caught between lust and proprietorial desires: "She is such a little tease, mmm… I could do this all day. He better watch this. Really get into his head who she belongs to. Oh, yes, I'll give her an incentive to move her tongue like she means it."

I fruitlessly prayed to simply disappear. I was not trained to resist this kind of torment. In fact, if given the choice, I would have preferred to have each of my limbs ripped apart, one by one, slowly and on repeat, in eternal perpetuity, until the end of time. At least it would have hurt less.

The seconds dragged like centuries, enveloping me in more layers of despair—hard, unshakeable layers, that made me feel as if I no longer had a purpose in this world. As if I never had.

I had never felt closer to actual death than when the interminable kiss ended and I had to force my face into a mask of relaxed happiness. The corners of my lips almost refused to move up into a smile. Whatever expression I had managed to muster must have looked like a devilish caricature.

"So yeah, I heard you're back in town," Jacob commented, and I finally looked in his direction again. He had one arm draped around Bella, digging his fingers in the flesh of her right hip. "Family business, right? Something to do with demolishing your house and building some garden of sorts?"

"Right," I confirmed the lie.

"And somehow you're the one who's in charge." There was disbelief written all over his face as he said that.

"I only happen to be the one person in my family who lived closest to Forks when my parents decided to proceed with this project."

"Convenient."

He didn't buy my excuse, not one bit. He had already made up his mind about me—my presence here was not welcome and I was not to be trusted.

My eyes risked a glance at Bella. She looked almost… apologetic. And definitely sad—I should have listened to her when I still had the chance.

"I won't be around long," I promised, knowing that it was not only true, but also what he wanted to hear. Bella's mien grew sadder still.

"What are your plans after?" he inquired. "Like I care. He can crawl back to hell, if it's up to me."

"I plan to resume my traveling."

"Rich asshole," he thought immediately. "Well, best of luck with that. Now, if you don't mind, Bella and I have to go."

"Of course. I'll see you around."

"Sure, sure. Wouldn't get my hopes up though, 'cause we are pretty busy these days," he retorted.

I didn't miss the fact that, for a split second, Bella looked as if she wanted to protest, but ultimately chose to keep the fight to herself. I didn't blame her—as rude as he was, Jacob was still her fiancé. She didn't owe me any kind of defense in front of him. So even if it went against my instincts, I had to admit defeat. Her upcoming marriage was a million times more important than our abnormal friendship, whether I liked it or not. My thoughts on her choice of groom held no weight in the matter.

So I backed down, trying to comprehend that the time I spent being Bella's friend was quickly reaching its end—I would bid my final goodbye soon.

The sooner I accepted this inevitability, the better.

The night was warm and restless with sounds of life from the forest as I tried to find a secure spot in my hiding tree. Much like me, the nocturnal animals were active and waiting at this hour—for chances to take, for prey to stalk. Unlike those animals, I was not interested in such pursuits, as the only mission I still wanted to accomplish was to indulge myself and check if Bella was safe one more time.

Perhaps… the last time.

For the past few hours, I had been toying with the idea of telling Bella, at long last, that I had to leave town. I had to find a good enough explanation for why the house was still standing—because, knowing Bella, she would make sure to check—but that was the least of my worries. What scared me the most was the fact that I wasn't ready to part from her completely, not even after Jacob made sure to emphasize that my time with her was limited—and, quite frankly, possibly finished.

I wanted to make peace with that, I did. But it felt nearly impossible when, from the temporary home of the branches I was in, I could hear that Bella was caught in yet another fight with Jacob. They were somewhere in the kitchen, as I could pick up the subtle reverb of that particular room. I quickly gathered that they had been going at it for a while, as both of them sounded exhausted. He made no effort to conceal the harshness of his thoughts—he just set them loose as they came to him, uttering them out loud and regretting nothing.

"That's how it always is with you. You don't give people a chance."

"You want me to give him, of all people, a chance? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

She sighed. "I happen to think you two might even get along if you tried."

"Yeah? I happen to know I don't get along with assholes."

"What? He's not an—"

"Oh, don't even try to defend him. He is. And he is the worst kind of asshole—the kind that goes after what he cannot have."

Hot and red flashes of rage ravaged his mind, as a certain memory from the past resurfaced. A memory that, as I came to realize, he had fought long to forget. It was from a distant past in which Bella was still with me and she was still nothing but a crush to him. One evening, he caught an accidental glimpse of me and her, right as he and his father arrived to drop something—he couldn't remember what—at Charlie's. Before even arriving in the driveway, he noticed us in front of the entrance of the house. He saw me wrapping Bella so completely in my arms, he couldn't even see her body. And he saw me with my face buried in her neck, correctly assuming that I was licking up and down its length. I too remembered that evening and how I fought with myself to stop my wanton incursion once I realized we had spectators.

What I couldn't remember was how deep Jacob's jealousy actually ran. Upon revisiting that memory, he didn't just hate the fact that my lips had touched her body. He hated the rabid passion with which Bella welcomed my outburst of desire.

Jacob hated to admit it, even if it was only to himself, but he couldn't remember a time when his soon-to-be bride welcomed his advances so freely.

"Jake, I need you to listen to me, because I cannot stress this enough," she said, her tone in supreme dissonance with the anger he felt. "Edward is not pursuing me. In fact, he doesn't want a single thing from me. At least not anything that can threaten our relationship."

"That's a whole load of bullshit, just like that story of why he's back. Come on now, are you blind, or have you honestly not noticed the way he looked at you today?"

Panic struck me. Had I been so obvious?

"That's insane," she managed to reply under her breath. "I'm not blind, but I have a feeling you might be blinded by jealousy here."

The red flashes of anger from earlier grew hotter still, filling up his headspace—and also setting off my alarm bells.

"Jealousy? It's called common fucking sense! Something you seem to be lacking."

"Jacob, I'll give you a chance to take that back and apologize."

A maniacal chuckle creeped through his lips before he responded. Bella didn't know it, but she had just pushed his last button. My body was tense, awaiting for his next words. "I'll take it back when you stop seeing him."

"Come on, you're being ridiculous with this, it's—"

"I'm being ridiculous? You keep defending the guy you spent a whole year getting over—the same guy who left you to rot like a pile of dog shit, the same guy who didn't fucking want you!"

There was no response on her end, other than her hitched breath and a frail gasp.

"And now you're crying, of course," he laughed shortly. "God forbid I say what I think without you getting overly emotional, right?"

"No… you know I want to know what you think."

"Then don't pull that crying crap."

"I'm sorry, Jake."

"If you're really sorry, you will stop hanging out with him."

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

"I assume it won't be a problem if he's nothing but a friend."

There was a short pause on her end. Not long enough to get him to be suspicious about any potential hesitation, but long enough to make me realize that she was actually considering this. Then, all at once, the worst possible reply. "Fine. I will, if it makes you happy."

Pain. Unassailable, unending, real.

Whatever trace of hope that allowed me to believe that I could arrange a soft, polite farewell from Bella—a farewell on my terms—disappeared. How could there be any kind of farewell if she wanted to interrupt contact with me? I didn't even dare to dream that she would bless me with the tremendous privillege of letting me down easy; I didn't deserve it, nor did she owe me anything of that sort.

But no, no, no! There had to be another way, one that didn't involve such a drastic rift.

Spiraling further, I listened closely to the noise coming from inside the house. For a while, there was a tumult of sounds, following each other closely. Bella—going upstairs and fruitlessly trying to hide her sobs. Jacob—taking two bottles of wine hostage as he headed to the living room, where he could dispose of their contents in peace. Bella again, falling into the empty bed in the bedroom and groaning into something—a pillow, I surmised, since the curtains were pulled and I could not take a peek inside. Then Jacob again—cursing mentally and smashing the first bottle, still unfinished, to the ground. His mind was fuzzy with the promise of inebriation.

Was this my last night in Forks? And if it was, was this the last memory I had of them? One of them succumbing to a drunken sleep, the other unable to rest? It wasn't supposed to be this way. They were supposed to be in love and content. And although I didn't doubt that they had been in love with each other at some point, I found it unlikely that either of them were happy right now. And wasn't this the entire point of my being here? To see the evidence of Bella's bright start into married life with my own eyes?

But there was no brightness, only pitch black fears.

Even worse than the fear that Bella wasn't as fulfilled as she deserved was the crippling worry that I was to blame. The only reason they started fighting was my insidious friendship. I figured that if I hadn't interfered, there would have been no apple of discord to set them on such an ugly confrontation path. Jealousy was an ugly beast, but in this particular case—even though I hated to admit it—Jacob was not entirely wrong to keep feeding it. As much as I tried to keep appearances pure, my desires were the furthest thing from pure. So maybe there was no other way left for me other than accepting the new future prospects.

I was still trying to grapple with that notion when my phone buzzed with life in my pocket. In other circumstances, I might have ignored it, but I could use the momentary distraction of checking to see who was bothering me.

My world sank when I realized I had a text from Bella.

'I can't sleep. Can you meet me outside?'

It was short and to the point. Moreover, its neutral tone meant that I had no idea what she actually wanted from me. Was she set on telling me a courteous goodbye, despite her promise to Jacob? Or was she so mad at me for the chain of events I had inadvertently set into motion when I insisted on finishing what I wanted to say in the library when I should have simply shut up? The second option sounded more probable, current circumstances considered.

Regardless of the reason, I was in no position to turn down anything that Bella wanted. She had me wrapped around her tiny finger, whether she knew it or not.

So I accepted.

Fifteen minutes later, I was waiting for her in the backyard, my presence protected by the night. She followed soon after, taking careful steps through the grass. She wore a large T-shirt that swallowed her delightful frame and I immediately noticed that her legs were bare, save for the line of her short pants peeking from underneath.

The unexpected showing of skin got me to feel a horde of feelings—all immoral, all wrong. I hated how my brain was wired to make me crave her even now, when that was supposed to be the least of my concerns.

Would I ever be free from the madness of wanting her more than I wanted to live?

I was ready for her to end my world when we were face to face. Whether this was our last adieu or our last fight, I could face it. It would be all hell from now on, but then again, I had lived through it before.

I was ready.

But then Bella opened her mouth and I realized nothing could have prepared me for her next words.

"You were already here when I texted you, weren't you?"

So much for being ready.

Well, Bella certainly knows more than Edward thought she did.

Do you think they'll say their final goodbye? Or maybe they'll finally cave and give their relationship a second chance, as I'm sure many of you have been expecting for several chapters now? The answer might surprise you, so I'm super excited to share the next chapter ;).

Until then, I am looking forward to reading your reviews and, as always, respond to them.

Before I go, there's something important I'd like to share with you all. This month, we'll have new chapters posted every Sunday, and teasers will be up every Friday in my Facebook group, as usual. But August will be a bit different. This year, August is full of exciting events for me: I'll be celebrating my 10-year anniversary with my man, enjoying my mother's summer visit (we live an ocean apart, so our time together is precious), planning a trip for my little sister's birthday, and attending Taylor Swift's Eras Tour concert in Vienna. Needless to say, next month will be packed, and I'll be away from my laptop for almost the entire time. However, I'll be back with renewed forces and weekly chapters in September, so stick around :).

Until next Sunday, stay safe and happy!