Phase-18: Divergence

Stella was on the beach, barefeet, whirling about in the water that was up to her ankles, giggling, always staying right on the shore. Auel was keeping an eye on her from the balcony of their hotel room while Sting was inside, busy typing on his laptop. Since he was en even busiest person, Chairman Durandal left Diocuia on an Osprey.

Athrun woke up and sat up on his bed. He noticed a form next to him and pulled the blanket. It was a young woman with long pink hair in an exceedingly skimpy and transparent gown. She turned around. It was Meer. The shock made him scream and fall back on the floor. The noise woke the girl up.

"Good morning, commander. Are you awake yet?" Luna knocked on the door. "I thought maybe we could go to the dining hall together." She offered... or invited him, obviously. The commander panicked, stood up, started going to the door, stopped, looked at Meer, noting again her overly provocative outfit, then at himself wearing the standard army underwear, namely the light green t-shirt and dark green shorts. And he panicked even more, and put on his red pants in a hurry. It was then they heard another door opening, and Seren's voice a moment later...

"Oh, 'morning Luna. What are you doing here? Sucking up to your superior? You were going to invite me too, weren't you?" She half joked, having a good guess as to why she was standing before Athrun's room. Chacha was perched on her head.

"Ah, no, hum... that's... I was..."

"Yes? You were...?" Canaver walked up to her and grinned. Upon hearing her voice, Athrun was yet even more flustered and panicked. Seeing him like that, and that it seemed like he wasn't intending to turn down that girl's invitation... if he had even noticed that she was inviting him (in order to flirt)... Meer pouted and went to open the door before Athrun could stop her. Lunamaria and Seren were speechless when their eyes went up and down Lacus' figure... that short, transparent, pink nightgown with fur lining the hem and the offshoulder collar, barely concealing her bosom...

"Oh my, Lacus, you were there? I should have known since you two hadn't seen each other in a long time... But you look glossier than usual, you must have spent a wonderful night..." The female FAITH agent recovered first and immediately started socialising, her grin widening.

"Yes, very much. But we're still tired, so could you please go ahead without us? Athrun will be going with me later." The idol replied, brimming with confidence and a sense of superiority, flaunting her status and relationship.

"Yes, of course... Sorry for disturbing you. Come on Lunamaria." Canaver wrapped an arm around her fellow pilot's shoulders as the door immediately slammed closed before them. The pilots of the Fortuna and red ZAKU left.

Not even a minute later, Hawke started angrily complaining about the way they had been treated. They might be fiancés but they didn't have to make such a show! Her companion laughed a little and tried to calm her down. It was nothing to get angry about. Lunamaria could not understand why Seren was not angry... she should be the angriest one! Even though they were friends, just what was that?!

The angriest one... Seren certainly was. Her smile had cramped up like solidified cement. She could not wipe it off. Her zygomatic muscles were definitely going to hurt like hell, though not as much as that stab in her back, or heart... No, well, she knew Athrun and 'Lacus' must pretend to be close... but to think Meer would take it this far as to steal into the room of a man she knew belonged to someone else... No... at this level, she must be trying to seduce him with her body, right? Not that it would work against Athrun... Still, Seren had to thank her time as a diplomat. Without it, she would have lashed out right then and there. She had become a master in the art of faking smiles to hide her feelings and tricking people. Even now, she could keep her voice steady, maintain the façade, the act, and deceive everyone. She had grown up. That was good, yes, good...

"Being angry in those circumstances means being jealous. And since I'm not in love with him, I wouldn't be angry. I'm just happy my childhood friend has found happiness. And of course Lacus would be wary of girls approaching her fiancé. Even if we were to somewhat drift away as a result, it couldn't be helped. Those things happen. Besides, going after a man who already has a fiancée is indecent and unbecoming... You don't want to be labelled a homewrecker, do you? By the way, I'm not so sure about the length of that skirt... isn't it too short? Or is it on purpose? Did you enroll in the army to pick up men?" Seren, who was petting her robotic squired cradled in her hand, teased... although there was truth in her words. But while she did not approve of such impractical things like miniskirts as part of a military uniform, she was not the type to flaunt her authority and enforce her views for things like clothing. Her features probably would not loosen as long as her rage and pain had not abated. And for that, she had to take it out on others. She had to keep teasing people and fake good mood as to not alert anyone. Luckily, she was quite good at it. She might feel somewhat sorry for those who would become collateral damage (Luna as of now), but the way she was now, she had no choice.

"Wha-... geez!" Luna pouted. The disapproval had come through, but also the fact that she was just being made fun of, that the female FAITH agent had no intention to impose anything on her, and was simply engaging in banter. Actually, Seren was recalling when Athrun and her had been stranded on the island... and nearly kissed each other. Even if you know the other party is engaged, it does not mean you can repress your feelings... She understood that as she had been the same. But then she also recalled that the fact that he had been engaged had not stopped him from pursuing someone else either... She wanted to believe that she could trust him, that she was the only one he loved and would ever love. But was that faith or conceit? She had no idea.

In the room, as soon as Meer turned back, snorting with a satisfied expression, Athrun gripped her arms, startling her.

"What's the meaning of that?!" Zala rebuked her.

"Eh? But those girls..."

"That's not the point! Why, how, and when in the world did you get into this room?!"

"I promised to visit you in your room, so I told the front desk that you seemed to have fallen asleep already, and it turned out that you were really sleeping..." She justified herself, like a childish, cutesy, and clinging girlfriend sulking about her boyfriend's lack of attention.

"Like I said... what I'm asking is why you'd do something like that!" Athrun shouted, obviously aggravated by her idiocy and shamelessness.

"Eh? But when an engaged couple hasn't seen each other for a long time, it's normal..."

"Lacus would never do such a thing!"

"She wouldn't? Why not?" She seemed genuinely curious about it. Athrun slapped his own face, balled his fists and gritted his teeth in frustration. It was like she lacked any notion of personal space, decency, or common sense. However, he could not lie to himself about the fact that if he and Seren had been apart for a long time, he would likely be the one sneaking into her room, although she might have expected him if they had not entered together... No, that was not the point either!

"In the first place, Lacus and I did not have that sort of relationship! And now she likes someone else!" He sighed heavily and his expression grew harder, colder. "And I will also remind you that the one... the only one I love is Seren. I will never betray her." Athrun pulled on the chain at his neck and showed her the engagement ring that Seren had given him. He might not be able to wear it at his ring finger for the time being, but leaving it or discarding it was simply out of the question. "Even if it's fake, I won't kiss, hug or sleep with any other woman."

Heine was sipping coffee in the dining hall when he heard Shinn, Seren and Lunamaria talking and saw them coming down. He also saw Chacha, Seren's robotic pet, flying towards him and landing on his shoulder. When he looked back at the group, his eyes met with Seren's. She had made sure not to lose sight of her tiny flying treasure. Shinn was surprised to hear from Luna that the Chairman had already left. Seren told him that given how busy a person he was, it was a miracle he had even found the time to talk to them like this. If he saw a statesperson's schedule, he'd wonder if they even slept at all. He noted that they seemed to be in a bad mood but they replied it was nothing. Canaver asked what made him even think that she was in a bad mood (as she was still smiling). Asuka stammered without answering. He had already learned in Gulnahan that Seren's honeyed smile often served as bait. And he was scared of replying unskillfully and causing the trap to close on him. There was no telling what darkness hid behind that sweet, charming, and mischievous smile. The lesson was still too fresh for him to have already forgotten it. Heine hailed them, and the ladies greeted him, Seren lightly while Lunamaria properly and politely saluted. Asuka emulated her. Heine asked about Athrun.

"Heine, that question shows a lack of consideration. Those fiancés get along so well, and they had not seen each other in a long time, and we took Athrun's time yesterday evening... so... right?"

"Ah... yes." He understood from her smile. "Athrun was nice enough to keep us company but we should have insisted that he stayed with her. We did something bad. It would have been better to let them catch up some more."

"Right?" Seren grinned wider. No it was not right. She knew Athrun was not one to cheat on her. If he was the type to be so easily seduced, she would have broken up time ago. Most likely Meer had slipped into his bed while he was sleeping and nothing happened. But he should have woken up and chased her out. Imagining him spending the night at another woman's side drew forth the powerful urge to throw everything out the window and reveal the truth, thus pulling out that thorn in her chest that made it hard to breathe. She was barely holding it in thanks to that social smile. She was also aware that more, similar occurrences were definitely going to happen. Could she endure it? Her words were not only to keep up the act. It was like scratching a wound in order to get used to the pain, to desensitize to some extent. Chacha jumped on her chest and climbed up to her shoulder. She started petting it again. Lunamaria glared at the two FAITH agents.

But then they heard Lacus' voice. She was giggling and clinging to Athrun's arm like a limpet to a rock. Westenfluss stood up and saluted as the couple came over, greeting the idol. Zala quickly broke free from her grip with an annoyed grunt and saluted his fellow FAITH members. So everyone did the military salute... except Seren who greeted people casually. Meer walked closer to the group and bid them good morning too.

"Your event yesterday was quite successful. The soldiers from the base were extremely happy. I'm sure it will help motivate them." Heine praised. Of course, he had enjoyed the concert too. But as soon as he started talking to Athrun about the past war, Meer got bored. "Still, I can see you two are really close." The young man with amber hair teased Athrun.

"Eh? Ah... no, not really." Zala nervously glanced at Seren whose grin was still the same.

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with that, it's good to get along. Since I'll be officially affected to the Minerva, let's all get along." He smiled. The other Special Forces agents agreed. "You're already five pilots... Two of you are FAITH members, the ship captain is also FAITH... Although you're lacking a bit in numbers, you have more than enough military capability... so why is the Chairman telling me to join you? Isn't that overkill, since we'll be four FAITH members?"

"Oh my, that must mean the Chairman has high hopes for us and the Minerva and intends to raise us as his finest horse. Or what, are you dissatisfied being with us?" The Fortuna's operator taunted again.

"How could that be? I'm always happy being with you. Well, once we're on the scene, all we can do is run. And different people see things differently too." The new recruit Minerva crew pondered. "Anyway, once again, formally this time, I look forward to working with you." He saluted, and so did all his new comrades, Seren included this time. Heine also had an idea for an activity. A two-on-two volley tournament, for some bonding, and unity-building. And to make it more interesting, the losers had to obey the tournament winners. He had heard there were also sports facilities in the base. Since Lacus had also today off it was perfect as the numbers were even with three guys and three girls. Lacus was on board as it sounded fun, Lunamaria chose to participate too (in order to vent some stress), Shinn didn't mind, only Athrun and Seren were reluctant, but there were not given much of a choice in the matter. After all, they were unable to give valid reasons to refuse.

So, although they felt sorry for Rey who could not participate as one person had to remain aboard the ship, a mini-tournament was held. Heine quickly handled the procedure and reserved the court thanks to his authority. Not only that but he was basically taking charge, deciding everything, not leaving the chance to protest to anyone. In this manner, he paired Athrun with Lacus, Shinn with Lunamaria, and Seren with himself. Lacus was certainly overjoyed. However, her partner and the two other girls' dissatisfaction were ignored... or more like they were being involuntarily swept away by the current. They also knew that Heine was full of good intentions towards the idol and her fiancé. He was a really good person... that was exactly why those three could not complain, but inside thought he did not have to be THAT considerate. Excessive consideration was just unnecessary and troublesome.

As a player, Meer seemed to be okay, but spent too much time trying to be dainty and flirty... that she was mostly being a burden... and seeing that, Luna would lose her cool and make stupid mistakes... or be quite fierce against Athrun. And the poor men were at the mercy of the women's moods. So even though the score was about even, in the end, it was basicaly one-on-two, so the victory went to Shinn's team, and Luna felt a bit better... that was until they faced Heine's team.

Meer suggested that she kept Chacha while Seren was playing. But while she was handing him over, the mechanical animal escaped and jumped on Athrun. The pink-haired tried a few more times to catch him but he kept avoiding and swiftly running across his creator's body. She soon stopped though as it was impossible for her to win and not admitting defeat would be shameful and childish.

Since Seren was playing, she decided to aim for the top without holding anything back. So she riled her opponents and let them self-destroy. Anger impaired judgement and made attacks simple and predictable. Well, Luna and Shinn were quite good, especially Shinn, and his efforts were laudable, but really too simple, not enough feints, and their habits were easily discernable. Heine and Seren could have won even without the psychological attacks (albeit with more difficulty). So the Fortuna's pilot chose the easier and funnier way. Even after she won, she kept at it.

"Even though you knew I was provoking you, how could you still keep falling for it? Please learn how to keep your cool already. Well, since hot-blooded ones are worth tormenting, I don't mind helping you learn... you just need to get used to it..." Canaver was still smiling. Athrun hung his head. Well, she was not wrong, but she normally would not take the tormenting this far. He could tell she was taking it out on others and that it was his fault, and also that him saying something would only make it worse. So he remained uncomfortably silent. But even knowing that was his fault, he couldn't help but glare slightly when Heine would pinch her cheeks or hug her from behing while covering her mouth to shut her up while gently scolding her. That used to be his role, his place at her side. And then, it was his turn to face her.

And as he had expected, although Heine did hold back against the pink-haired girl, Seren did not. Once Athrun got used to her pattern of using the obvious weak points, she switched to targetting places close to Meer but that Meer would not hit because she was in a bad position or not playing seriously... and that Athrun could not reach because Meer was in the way. She was skillfully making Meer into her unvoluntary ally. Heine sarcastically commented about her nice(ly twisted) personality, but did not seem to truly mind.

"First, decide, then see it through. And I decided to win this." Seren answered simply while smiling, repeating the words the true Lacus used to say and comfort her with. Again, only Athrun was aware of the irony in her words. "Can I count on you, partner?" She raised her hand. She was sincere. But as she phrased things in a way that was hard to refuse, she was also sly after all.

"Alright." Westenfluss sighed but smiled good-heartedly too as he did a high five with her. "Athrun, Lacus-sama, sorry, but from now on, I'll get serious too."

"Oh my, then us too... right, Athrun?" Meer replied before Athrun could.

"Then Lacus, are you going to stop sitting back and being protected? You used to play much better. Your ability to support whoever you were partnered with was astounding but now... maybe you are not feeling well? In that case you shouldn't force yourself..." Give up or do it more seriously... was basically what Canaver was meaning... as well as 'why don't you move yourself instead of relying on others? Stop being a handicap to your partner.' And Meer, needled, as she was made aware of the fact that she was not on par with Lacus and that she could not let herself be pampered too much changed her attitude. Zala had also become slightly fiercer and nastier since it was not amusing seeing Seren and Heine so close and having such good teamwork.

Still, even with Meer's improvement, it proved impossible to overtake the Seren/Heine pair who maintained their superiority to the very end. Since Seren had won, she no longer cared and told Heine to do whatever he wanted with the losers... a decision she immediately came to regret. Heine proudly announced a triple date with the current couples. Well, he said triple dates but all three couples would separate, spend alone time, and go on their own course. Lacus beamed a most radiant smile while Athrun, Luna and Seren frantically tried to make him change his mind. However, he cut through all their protests. They had lost. And Seren had renounced her right of veto. She had been careless. The hazel-eyed girl gritted her teeth. She knew he just wanted to be kind and considerate... but that sort of consideration was not needed! The road to hell was most definitely paved with good intentions! She could likely find a way to refuse him as only she had won, but what was the point if she was the only one saved? Fortunately though, he took their opposition as trying to hide their embarassment. But unable to go against him, the rest of the day was spent on the triple date after the soldiers had changed into civilian clothes.

Lunamaria vented her frustration by going on a shopping spree and having Shinn carry the luggage. Hawke was wearing slim light marroon pants held with a white belt and a black T-shirt with pink, light blue, and yellow geometric shapes. It seemed that Meer dragged Athrun all around while flirting, boasting and showing off, and halfway through, the date turned into an event with handshaking and autograph signing with Athrun acting as bodyguard and doing his best to use his professionalism to keep distance. Meer had also exchanged her 'Lacus Clyne' clothes with a white mini-skirt and a yellow shirt that she knotted below her bosom. She also sported sunglasses.

Seren... thought wearing her business suit would be too much. She kept the light beige blazer jacket and beige pumps, but otherwise wore a white top and cropped pistachio green pants. She spent her own 'date' as an information gathering trip, carefully watching the interactions between ZAFT and the locals, listening in on the conversations... The citizens were discussing the recent event. They could hardly believe the Chairman of the PLANTs had personally come to visit them like this. And he was going to visit other cities in the area with Lacus Clyne, although right now it seemed she was in the middle of a public stroll in town along with her fiancé... or was it her bodyguard?

Even though they used to fight ZAFT as bitter enemies in the last war, now it was totally the opposite. Life sure was hard to predict. Indeed, ZAFT soldiers were sightseeing at every corner, whether in uniform or civilian clothes, and gossiping with the people. Canaver even spotted Vino, Yolan and Meiryn taking it easy at a café too. The women were still a bit scared of Coordinators, but they were much better than those Earth Alliance brutes. They were proper gentlemen. Young ladies sometimes asked for their photos to be taken at the arms of a handsome ZAFT soldier. Likewise, she was sometimes stopped by girls and children who wanted to pet Chacha.

And after having attentively watched Seren the whole time, Heine sighed. It was not good. She was not relaxing at all or even paying much attention to him. She was smiling and friendly but she was behaving like a diplomat on a goodwill event. And there were times when she tensed up. At this rate, the date plan will have ended in failure. Even Athrun was trying to act more as a bodyguard than a fiancé. Geez, both Athrun and Seren were too work-oriented. So he rented a convertible car and took her on a drive to a small secluded beach. The road was protected by a retaining wall that acted as guardrail and concrete rubble riprap. The young man stopped the car.

"Here should be fine." He pondered.

"What for?"

"When there are other people I don't know if I should say you're distracted, or watchful on the contrary... anyway, you've haven't lowered your guard for a single second..."

"Ah..." She hung her head and looked away. The kind Heine had tried to take her mind off things, taken her to various places, attempted to catch her attention, but although she had spent a good time, she had not been able to sincerely have fun, and he had seen through her.

"Here you don't need to worry about the looks of others, and you don't have to smile if you don't want to."

"...You're... right..." She smiled derisively and got off the car. The vegetation on the side reminded her of Orb. There was a small flight of stairs to access the beach but Seren sat on the wall. The sea breeze was stroking her face and gently ruffling her hair. Chacha was flying around. It would have been a great date had Athrun been at her side, if they could have walked hand in hand on the beach and cuddled like they used to in Orb. But now, he was at 'Lacus'' side. And she was filled with loneliness. She also recalled this morning when Meer opened the door to Athrun's room. But now, more than anger, there was pain. After that, they had not been able to talk. This scenery was really not good. It made her all nostalgic and sentimental. She felt herself growing weaker and weaker. Perhaps sensing that, Heine sat next to her, their shoulders touching. Right, she too had someone by her side that was not Athrun. But there was no way she could tell him the truth so she could only agonize over it alone. Even if he told her to relax, it was impossible, simply because she was not allowed to be honest, to be who she was, to openly be with the person she loved...

"You told me you had someone who always supported you... a boyfriend, right? What happened with him?"

Ah... way to cut to the quick and hit right where it hurt the most... Seren jolted before sighing.

"It's become... complicated. We... couldn't be together. Decisions were taken that led to those results..."

"But you still love him, don't you?"

"I do... but what should I do with these feelings if we can't be together... Can we wait for the end of the war? I know he still loves me too, but..." Loneliness was hard and even if you believed, it was easy to feel insecure...

"You always appear strong, but you're unexpectedly dependant on your family and lover..."

"Isn't it normal to miss people you love when you can't see them? If you're mocking me I'll return on my own." She frowned.

"That's not it." He placed a hand on her head, keeping her in place and petting her to calm her down. "If it becomes too painful for you, I want you to rely on me. You're always wearing yourself out for others but as much as possible I want you to be happy. I'll always be here whenever you need support."

"...Oh my, did I look like such a weak lonely woman?"

"We all need to rely on someone. Athrun might be your childhood friend, but because of Lacus-sama you can't overly rely on him, and given your current respective positions, your family can't do much for you now. You might be friendly with the other pilots of the Minerva but they're all younger than you so you won't rely on them... In that case, who will support you?"

"..." Seren could not answer. He was right. She did feel isolated. It was not like it was impossible for Athrun and her to meet in secret, but they didn't do it. They both disliked lying to their comrades, and meeting in secret just did not feel right. They were both too honest and serious for something like this. Could the Chairman have already predicted this when he made that request? No, that didn't matter right now. The question was... what exactly was her relationship with Athrun now? How would you describe it? They were really nothing more than childhood friends. They could not be together anyway, and the situation saw no sign of improvement. So... what was the point of continuing this pretense?

As the young woman made a bitter, painful expression and lowered her head, Heine wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. She felt his warmth and heartfelt concern and leant against him for a time. Heine was really just like everyone's big brother. But... that was not the warmth she yearned for. No matter how much she wanted to confide in him, she could not. She could not rely on him, not that much, not like this. That was where she had to draw the line. So she pulled away and smiled at him.

"Thanks. If such times come, I'll be counting on you then." She lightly hit his chest with the side of her fist.

"I'm not lonely, I don't think this is painful"... As we keep saying such things we become more stubborn, unable to put our true feelings into words or act on them. Presence and absence. Closeness and distance... They all shake and wound our hearts and exacerbate our loneliness. If we think too much, the isolation accelerates, if we don't think at all, we won't exist here. So what is one supposed to do, then? The warm safe place, where is it again?

Author's note: finally got it out, later than I intended though. Some people might have thought that Seren was a bit too strong/perfect so here she is, struggling and suffering. As you saw I also tried adding some original stuff and changing the order and a few things from the canon for more Heine and more drama. Not sure about quality though.

Next chapter will be 'Phase-19: Gravity of Love'.