Notes:
I thought this was going to be a short chapter, but I have surprised myself!
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missdonnie – Hey, I am sure it's nothing. Don't worry, everything will be fine. I am praying for you. Let me know what happens. ((Hugs))
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Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 3: Night at the hospital
After the doctor has left my room, I suddenly feel drained out. I sink into the bed feeling dejected about having to stay for the night and with the sincere hope that I don't have to lie tomorrow to Lisbon.
I'm now aware of the headache beginning to build at the base of my neck. It's just a mild pain, but I can feel it gently throbbing through the nerves of my neck. It's almost as if it's in sync with my heartbeat. Closing my eyes I focus on my breaths. Deep, slow and focussed breaths…in and out...in and out…in and out…
With all these years of 'helping people' there's one thing I've learnt for sure – no one wants to be in pain; neither physical nor emotional. It all comes down to how effectively you use your breaths. We take it for granted and that's where we lose our battles…
My attention is still solely on my breathing, making sure I don't hyperventilate. Breathing in through my nose and exhaling through my pursed lips, the effects are beginning to show and I find myself slowly relaxing into a deep slumber….
Suddenly it's very quiet. I can't even hear the sound of my breathing. This is weird. The only sound I hear sends chills down my spine…. "Hello Patrick..." It's too dark in the room and I can barely see anything, but I hear heavy footsteps coming towards me. I still can't see anyone, but I can see the razor sharp blade of a knife shining in the faint night light of the room. It's dripping with blood. Instinctively my hand reaches the back of my neck and my fingers come away from it covered in blood - my blood.
I am shaking now, in pain and fear. This was not supposed to happen. Hospitals are secure places, aren't they? I find it difficult to breathe, I am choking.
"Help…please help. No, stop! He is going to kill me….Lisbonnnnnnnnn!"
I am still shaking and I feel like I am drowning, but then I hear voices. I hear a lady's voice. Lisbon's here. Thank God! Except, her voice sounds different.
"Mr. Jane, it's okay. Wake up…wake up…you are safe. Open your eyes come on."
I feel someone gently calling my name….it's not Lisbon. I try hard and finally succeed in opening my eyes a little. As the room begins to come into focus I realize I am wet and cold and I am not able to breathe well. It's almost as if I am sucking in the last ounce of oxygen available in the room. The alarms on the monitors are still trilling in the room and I am still too dazed to be able to really comprehend much.
I think I faintly hear Dr. Anderson's voice barking orders in the background. I feel the position of my bed being changed and my nasal cannula being replaced by a full oxygen mask. Tears are streaming down my eyes and I am drenched in sweat.
"Breathe Patrick, just breathe. You are safe. It was just a nightmare." I see a hazy figure of a person standing beside my bed who's talking to me in a very soothing voice. From the other side of the bed I feel something cool all over my face. I manage to open my eyes now.
"Welcome back Patrick." The doctor gives me a smile and gives my hand a slight squeeze. "Stacy here will help you get comfortable, I will be right back."
I give Mark a small nod. Stacy is still busy attending to me. The cool cloth feels like heaven on my flushed skin. My breathing has slowed down but there's still some heaviness I feel. From underneath the mask I try talking to the nurse.
"Please don't try to talk Mr. Jane. Doctor Anderson will be with you shortly. Just relax", she says in her most soothing voice.
"Thank you." I say in between my hitched breaths and some stray tears manage to slip from my eyes.
She rubs my shoulder comfortingly as you'd comfort a child and wipes my face once more. She has helped me get changed into a fresh new hospital gown and is now busy checking the readings on the monitors.
"I need some water please." I say in a faint and croaky voice from underneath the mask.
"Yes of course." With this she places the chart in her hand on the table and pours some water for me in a small paper cup. Handing over a straw to me she says, "Sip slowly."
Her piece of advice suddenly makes sense as I start coughing with the first few sips of the water. She quickly takes away the paper cup to avoid any further spillage and gently rubs my back. "Easy there…told you to go slowly." I just roll my eyes at her and she simply smirks!
A few minutes later, Mark comes in. "So, how are we doing now?" Stacy hands over her charts to Dr. Anderson and gives him a verbal report too. He nods and motions for her to leave.
"Everything's almost back within the normal limits Patrick. How are you feeling?"
I pull down the mask and tell him effortlessly that I am doing fine and that I feel alright. Satisfied with the way my voice sounds and one look at the monitors back again, Mark looks convinced and says, "Hmm, okay."
"Would you like to share about what happened here some time ago? I shake my head dismissively and look away from him.
"You were calling out for someone called Lisbon. Who is he/she?"
"She's my work partner, actually my boss but more like a partner."
"I see. Well, I can't force you to share any details of the incident if you don't want, but I suggest you talk to someone, or Lisbon about it."
The doctor has no knowledge about my past and I am not sure if I want to go on a painful memory trip just as yet, so I fake nod my approval.
It's almost 8:00 a.m. and I am itching to leave the hospital as soon as possible. I hope this little incident doesn't prove to be a setback towards my release from the hospital today.
Mark finds me lost in my thoughts and brings me back to reality. He senses boredom and impatience in me and says, "So how about getting you discharged today?"
My eyes gleam with happiness and my face breaks out in a genuine smile. "I am ready to leave Dr. Anderson!"
"Hmm. It will take about an hour or two before your papers are ready for your discharge. After you have your breakfast, someone will come in to assist you with the discharge process, but I am discharging you on only condition."
"What's that?" I ask nervously.
"You will stay at home today. No work. I want you to rest through the weekend and only if you are feeling up to it, you may resume work on Monday. I trust you to listen to your body."
"Yes doc. I understand."
"Take it easy for a week – that means no strenuous activity and taking enough rest. Come back and meet me next Monday. I will discuss your options for the surgery with you."
"I understand what you've told me doc. I will be back next week for the follow up. Thank you again."
With this the doctor leaves my room and I am filled with enthusiasm at the thought of getting to go home…