Don't Own the DXD or whatever other nonsense I eventually add in this fic, Only The Oc
'thought'
"Speech"
"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."

I wipe my hands as I calmly walk out of the church. "Alright. I'm done. I hope you don't mind, but I did a few touch-ups on my way out... y'know, turning crosses the right side up, restoring rotted pews, fixing broken angel statues... oh, also I reversed time on some of the paintings to bring them back to their primes."

Gotta love arc of time.

"We don't need your help you filthy heathen." Xenovia snarls.

My eyes slowly stray to the nun. "Your daughter has quite the mouth on her. You do realize that this territory isn't yours, right? In the past, it was shared, sure, but then the church murdered the devil overseeing this town and left. You, blue haired annoying girl who seemingly does not have a filter between your brain and mouth, need to learn to watch what you say. Because if you do mouth off to the devil overseers in this town, the little siblings of two of the four satans. You could very well start a war."

"Suzutsu... you... you're a part of the Grigori?" Irina whispers sounding utterly crushed.

"Yep. Azazel apparently was about to step in and kill that youkai but, he saw me literally throw an orb of plasma at it, so he decided to hang back and see what I was capable of."

"I don't regret it... with the Grigori's resources I was able to finally accomplish my dream of creating a virtual reality gaming system. And before you wax and wain about using 'magic' and all that shit, Eden does not use any magic whatsoever in its systems. None. Nor are any used in its creation."

"But- But they are the bad guys, Suzutsu!" Irina exclaims. "They- They're almost as bad as devils!"

"Untrue. The Grigori doesn't have the slavery pieces, thus I'd say that in general they are better."

"W-Well... be that as it may, y-you should still quit!" Irina shouts.

"Oh, I basically have. With the release of my game, I've more or less retired. Sure, Azazel might contact me now and then to do something for him. But now that the rest of the Grigori has been cleared of Kuoh... I can just play my game in peace. Besides. You have a lot of gall to assume that we are still close enough for you to just walk up- after we haven't seen each other in the past eight years, mind you- and demand I do something. I still view you in a good light, Irina, but come on, not even a phone call?"

"Is- Is Issei a part of the Grigori as well?!"

"Oh, of course not. I've personally kept him away from that life... and by that, I mean anything supernatural." I admit my eyes narrowing slightly as my attention moves to Irina's companions. "And... I would request that you do the same."

"Regardless, Irina, it has been pleasant to see you again. If you want to try out domain of magic sometime, I'll spot you the rental price... but only you. I don't like your companions very much."

"Wait..." The nun calls out before I can walk away. "I do have a question..."

"Yes? You've been incredibly polite and are taking care of my childhood friend, so the least I should do is answer your question." I state with a bright smile.

"What is the point of your game system... surely it's not just that. What do you hope to gain from it? Do the fallen seek a tactical advantage over the other factions? Is it collecting information? Is it a training method to prepare soldiers for wars?"

"There are a myriad of reasons. Frankly, the biggest one, I would say would be... that I just wanted to create a fun game to play... and I feel like I have accomplished that."

"Beyond that... it is a potential cure for comatose patients... an opportunity for amputees to regain their limbs back, paralyzed patients regaining their ability to move... a way for the terminally ill to have more time."

"Another reason is that I hope it'll make more people have interests in jobs that require a lot of effort and skill to learn like tailoring, blacksmithing, or even cooking."

"Then there's the fact that Azazel is tentatively messing with the idea of dumping all of our most blood thirsty whack jobs into it to allow them to rid themselves of their lust for battle. It could reasonably cause most issues to be solved in game instead of out here in the real world, and I find that to be quite comforting. As for the training an army aspect? Well, technically it can be used that way... the muscle memory would likely transfer over, but not the general physical capabilities."

"So... It's a weapon." Xenovia frowns.

"..." I find my gaze straying towards the nun, my expression flat and disappointed. "Was... Was she dropped on her head as a child?"

"..."

"Like, I'm not talking about just once or twice... I'm talking about several dozen times." I continue after a brief moment of silence with a small amused grin. "Cause this level of stupidity can't possibly be learned."

"You-" Xenovia

"No." The nun eventually replies.

"Then you have a lot of work cut out for you..." I observe with a pitying smile. "Can you imagine if she walked up to one of the Japanese deities and called them a 'pagan god' or something? I do not know what sort of brain rot the church instills in its pawns, but that sheer lack of self preservation cannot be healthy."

"A Pawn?!" Xenovia growls. "That's rich coming from a human in the Grigori. Your girlfriend came from there too? A Grigori pawn in love with someone who was probably passed around more than a-"

Griselda punches the top of the girl's head, knocking her flat.

"I apologize for my ward. Please forgive her."

I slowly turn, eerily silent, a frown on my face then I speak, an ominous pressure building with each word. "I am fine with your insults towards me. They don't bother me at all, I have nothing to prove to you. They're even a little humorous, even. But. If you insult my girlfriend again? I will ensure the three biblical factions becomes the two biblical factions. I will make you watch as I tear down each and every thing you thought you believed in. The sheer hypocrisy of the place you so fervently defend. The Holy Sword Project, the Sigurd Institution. You people are playing God. Cloning a hero from another religion after stealing his weapons and forcing them to fight your battles. Dozens of your priests take deals with devils. Even some of the angels in heaven have betrayed the church and heaven. Abusing loopholes to prevent themselves from falling. I could destroy you emotionally, mentally, and physically in just three. little. Words. Just one little tidbit of knowledge that heaven wants to desperately keep under wraps."

Half way through my monologue, Xenovia and Irina have fallen to their knees, a cold sweat breaks out on Griselda's forehead.

"But." That pressure eases. "I will forgive you... Just. This. Once."

"However... just because I have forgiven you, doesn't mean you should go without punishment... If you want to act like a child so much... you should look the part." I snap my fingers, creating a pulse of magic.

Xenovia lets out a gasp, clutching her chest.

"What did you do?!" Griselda snaps, her eyes widening slightly as the blue haired girl begins to... shrink...

"Oh. Don't worry. She won't be harmed." I reply as she loses height quickly. Inches disappearing in mere moments. Her bust shrinks, clothes clinging to her form loosely as what was once a very attractive figure more or less shrinks away, as does around a foot or two of her height.

Xenovia has reverted into a child.

"If you can muster up enough remorse an apology, brat, I'll undo this curse. But, if you don't... I hope you enjoy being a priest's wet dream and going through puberty a second time!"

"Oh wait. You're not a boy. Nix that first bit. Later fuckers!"

With that I disappear with a quiet pop.

I reappear in the Eden rental place, hands in my pocket as I turn to the back room and step inside.

I trudge up the stairs, eventually coming to the door of our apartment on the second floor. A quiet creak echoes out as I step inside.

I look around a fairly sparse living room.

Who knows how long it'll stay like this, knowing our sheer disorganization. The only reason this place is relatively clean is because it's brand new.

I close the door behind me and lock it, a small breath leaving my lips.

Then I turn and walk towards our shared room.

Technically I also have a room, but we're just using it as storage right now.

"I'm back." I call out as I step inside.

The blonde sitting at the computer, hand between her legs glances over, a devious grin on her face.

Her lustful smirk slowly falls as she cocks her head to the side. "What's wrong?"

"Hm?" I hum. "Nothing's wrong."

"Dude... I've known you for upwards of seven years now. I know when something is bothering you. Now tell me so I can go kill it."

"Don't do that." I sigh as I rub my temple. "One of the church mooks said something that tilted me a little bit. That's it."

"Hm..."

"Said something about you that tilted me." I elaborate.

"Pfft, then don't pay that dumb bitch any mind. I've never met anyone from the church." The girl scoffs as she stands up, stretching her arms above her head.

"Look, I know that, and I know all of what she said was untrue, but it still sort of pissed me off that she had the gall to do that." I sigh while shaking my head. "But. I left her with a little gift, soooo."

"Oh... did you start a war?" Mittelt mutters, looking over with a mildly cautious expression.

"Oh, no. Not at all. I just told her that if she was going to act like a child... she might as well look the part. Then I turned her seven years old."

"Wait... you can de-age people?" Mittelt mutters.

"Well, uh, yeah?" I mutter. "There's not much Ican't do."

"Then why are you worried about dying of old age?" She asks as she slowly walks forwards.

"Oh, because it's more of a temporary curse than anything. Plus, the more years I turn back..."

"The more magical power it takes?" Mittelt guesses.

"Yep." I nod once. "So, while seven or eight years is nothing for me right now, my passive regeneration is outshining it, eventually there might come a time where that isn't the case... and I'm wasting magical power just to appear young."

"Huh..." The girl hums. "Well, at least we have something to spice up our love life in a few hundred years."

"Mittelt what the fuck?!" I gag.

"What?! What's wrong with a little shotacon?!" The girl pouts.

"You should be put on a list!" I proclaim.

"You do realize that in the supernatural scope of things. A bit of loli-shota love is really low on the sheer scope of depravity that these freaks regularly partake in, right? Remember the goose story?"

"Wait... that was- that actually fucking happened-"

"And remember when a certain god of tricks transformed into a mare and let himself get knocked up by a stallion to make a certain eight legged horse?"

"..."

"And remember how nonconsensual incest is actually pretty common in a lot of mythologies?"

"I... don't want to live on this planet anymore..." I admit mutely.

"HAH!' The girl cackles. "Don't worry. It's been a few thousand years since anything like that happened, according to my dad. Most just want to desperately forget it ever happened. People are a lot more civilized nowadays."

I stare blankly into her eyes as she looks up at me with an impish smile.

She reaches up to cup my cheek with a hand, but I grab her wrist. "Look. If you're going to do the passionate touching and 'I love you' thing. Can you wash your fucking hands first? I mean, really. Your fingers are still damp."

"Once more. Moment ruined." The girl groans angrily, shoulders slumping. "Honestly, dude?! Really?! Ugh. You have a talent to be an utter pain in my ass. So... what did that girl say to get you bothered to the point you'd consciously focus on a spell that forces her to be younger?"

"She implied that you were someone who got passed around the office like the common cold." I answer, the corners of my mouth turning downwards slightly.

"Woah woah woah... did someone from the CHURCH call me a slut?! Can they even SAY that?! Like, I mean, WOW. Like even beyond the image in my head of the pope calling someone a 'slut' or a 'bitch', there's also the fact of their battle uniforms! Have you SEEN them?!"

"Yep. Skin tight. Latex. Gap in the back right above their ass that would be a perfect window to show off a tramp stamp."

"AHAHA!" She laughs. "Damn right! Why do they even fucking wear those?! SURELY there's something better they could wear, right? Like, literallyanything"

"Honestly, at a certain point, they should just wear nothing." I scoff with a small eyeroll.

"True!" The girl exclaims. "It'd at least make them easy-access considering they are so keen on showing off their bodies like that! They're dressed like extras in a bad hentai! The one who get got by the tentacle monsters and orcs."

"I mean, that's not inaccurate." I admit before a sigh leaves my lips. "I didn't even get to question them about my favorite bible verse."

"..." the blonde blinks several times. "You... have a favorite bible verse?"

"Don't make fun of bald people or they'll summon two bears from the woods to maul a small village's worth of boys."

"..."

"What?" The girl blinks.

"Mittelt." I sound scandalized. "Have you never read the bibble?"

"N-No? Are you fucking with me? There's no way that's in the bible." The girl begins.

"Two Kings Two, twenty three to twenty four. *Ahem* 'From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. "Get out of here, baldy!" they said. "Get out of here, baldy!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord... Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys."

"..."

"..."

With a dull flash, Mittelt pulls out her phone from her magical hammer space and quickly taps away.

Her eyes widen. "Wh- PFFFT- OH! OH MY GOD YOU WEREN'T JOKING! AHAHAHAH! That's fucking HILARIOUS!"

I roll my eyes slightly. "So, aside from you vigorously touching yourself, what else happened while I was gone?"

She looks up from her phone, quietly turning it off and sending it back to wherever she got it from. "Serafall's fanfiction evolved into you knocking both her and her sister up and disappearing, leaving them to take care of your children."

"When dealing with someone who has as many issues and is as deranged as Serafall, the correct move is to go and get milk for an extended period of time." I nod sagely.

"After that, she spent about two hours building Gabriel whom she proceeded to defile for another hour, followed by a short ten minutes where she built a boxing arena and then promptly beat the shit out of the seraph... she logged out about an hour ago, though. I've just been playing catch up."

"Huh... I wonder what she's doing now?"

Pov: elsewhere.

A woman frowns as she looks over a massive spire of ice and volcanic glass. She is... unnerved by this. This happened in the four-hour window she was inside her Eden device.

She places her hand upon the glass and ice, it's cold to the touch... but also... warm? This should be utterly impossible. But it's not.

Twin elements are mixed seemingly at random. Hot and cold. Ice and glass.

By all means, a clash of elemental energy like that should have made this spell far weaker, but... it actually seems more powerful?! That makes no sense.

A spell that utterly encased an entire building in ice and glass...

All to kill a single stray devil.

She frowns slightly, eyes narrowing at the centipede-like figure inside the ice.

That looks like Saargorn, a high-class stray.

That's something that she wouldn't leave to Rias or Sona's peerages. They might win, but they're not really equipped to fight on this level quite yet.

He isabsolutely dead. Like, he could not be more dead.

Charred and frozen. Trapped in a glass prison that is simultaneously hot enough to burn the skin, and cold enough to induce frostbite.

The spell seems less controlled the further away from what she assumes to be the base contact point.

It is an imperfect spell.

But an imperfect impossible spell is still something to be cautious- no...fearful of. Because if they can do something like this, what else can they do?

She feels a pulse of magic in the distance, her eyes narrow slightly.

That power is easily ultimate class...

She quickly teleports half-way across the town, pausing just at the edge of a clearing leading up to the church.

"OF ALL THE STUPID. IDIOTIC AND SUICIDAL THINGS YOU COULD HAVE DONE, THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE WORST!" A nun roars at a small blue haired child.

The blue haired girl lets out a small whimper as the nun's hand comes to her rump. "A spanking is the least you deserve. You- despite the appearance you are now cursed with- are OLD ENOUGH to realize when you should and shouldn't speak. He could have very easily have killed you for your taunting, Xenovia and, frankly, there wouldn't be much I could have done. Did you not feel his power?! The magic he was casually showing off?! I would have been able to do nothing!"

The woman clutches the bridge of her nose, letting out an irritated growl. "Perhaps it was foolish to bring you, Xenovia. I expected more."

Her gaze suddenly snaps towards the black haired woman, the corners of her mouth turning downwards. "What is it that you need, Leviathan?"

Serafall slowly walks forwards, looking around cautiously. "What was that magical aura just now?"

"My ward angered a wizard that lives in this town. That aura was him showing his displeasure with her words... then he de-aged her with a curse."

"There shouldn't be a wizard that powerful living in this town." The devil frowns.

"It was a brown haired boy, about fifteen... he was a member of the Grigori."

"Wait... Suzutsu?" Serafall questions.

She watches the slight flinch to the brown haired girl in the background.

"You... know him?" The nun cautiously frowns.

"Mhm. I met him once. He's fun. I invited him to my peerage, but he declined. He's normally so happy-go-lucky... to make him mad enough to lose control of his power? What did you even do? I made fun of his life work, and all I got was some mock anger."

The woman notes that the brown haired teen seems to be vastly more powerful than he let on during their meeting.

Easily ultimate class.

And with a mind like his? Capable of creating technology several hundred years more advanced than what they have today... he might even be a danger to Serafall herself if they were to fight. Certainly a crafty opponent, if he plays it smart, like a wizard should, only fighting when it benefits him, she'd be unable to do much of anything, really.

"You should be careful who you anger... he is one of the people in this world that not even I would fight." With that she turns and walks away, gazing in the direction of Kuoh town.

Perhaps she should pay him a visit.

Serafall gazes at a simple shop. There's glass windows and a gentle glow of a neon sign, she skips over and gently taps her knuckles on the glass.

Peering through the windows, she can see a fairly neat little lobby, there's a few leather couches sat around the room, a flatscreen or two towards the ceiling of the room, then, there's a countertop at the far corner.

She watches a door behind the counter with the words 'employees only' on it slowly open

A brown haired teen peers out, his eyes narrowing slightly as he stares directly at her.

He points above the woman's head, causing her eyes to glance upwards.

A neon sign rests above the door. "We're Closed."

She looks down and clasps her hands together in a pleading manner.

The brown haired teen gives her a look of sheer annoyance, a blonde girl poking her head over his shoulder, eyes widening.

A fallen angel?

Well, considering he's a part of the Grigori, that's pretty normal.

She seems to give Suzutsu a small nudge forwards, he lets out a long sigh, bringing a hand to his face as he rolls his eyes.

She can hear the locks in the glass door click as the brown haired teen lazily waves his hand.

It swings open a moment later.

"What do you waaant?" Suzutsu groans. "I was trying to spend some time with my girlfriend."

Girlfriend?

So he is dating her?

Noted.

"I just felt two large pulses of magical energy today... did... you kill a stray devil earlier today?"

"Yep." He shrugs. "It annoyed me, and the 'guardians' of this town are currently playing Domain of Magic, so I thought I might as well step in before it kills anyone."

"Then, did you also attack the church?" Serafall raises her eyebrow.

"Attack is a... strong... word. Blue haired girl just has the life preservation skills of a fucking potato. I mean, really. I showed off my sheer magical aura, then she has the fucking GALL to repeatedly insult me, call me heathen when I was nothing but polite, then call my girlfriend a fucking whore." Serafall watches his fist clench slightly. "Can the world just give us a fucking moment to lose our virginities?! We've been trying all damned day!"

He's a virgin? Huh. Probably not for long, though.

Also. Mental note. Do not push the girlfriend button... In a tactless way that is legitimately insulting, that is.

"You have a girlfriend?!" Serafall gasps. "I can't believe you, playboy! Leading on Milim-chan and Ria-tan like that!"

"I literally told you that I had one in domain of magic... like, it wasn't even five hours ago."

Serafall pauses, blinking slowly. Did he?

Oh yeah... he did. She just forgot over the next fifteen euphoric hours of smooching So-clone and beating the snot out of Gabriel.

Damn that thing really improved her mood.

She has had the most productive day she has had in decades and she spent four hours of it in a coma-like state.

"Mnnn. You should be careful around the church, Suzu... they're no fun."

"You probably would have done something even more drastic than I did if her comments were focused on your little sister." He points out blandly.

Fuck.

He has got her there.

If she wasn't expecting it, she might have exploded like he did.

But. Mental note. If she goes to speak with the church, ignore- or use magic to mute- the blue haired girl so she doesn't get violently pissed off.

"So, is this all you wanted to do?" He asks. "Confirm that I'm here and tell me to be careful in order to not break the peace?"

"Ah... well... I was more cautious and suspicious about the powerful wizard now living in Kuoh. But seeing its you, I know you won't hurt So-tan."

"I'm not a man to shoot a rabbit with a ballistic missile. If she- or Rias attack me for no reason and bother me, the worst thing I'd do is either body swap them, or turn them into children... maybe both."

Serafall's eyes narrow slightly.

"Oh, and I would note, both of those effects would be temporary." He clarifies suddenly

"Ah. Okay! I always wanted more time with So-tan's ADORABLE child body!"

Ooh! Idea! So-clone's getting a younger twin!

The black haired satan revels at the disturbed expression on Suzutsu's face, his mouth slightly ajar, eyes lightly narrowed.

"Get the fuck out of my store." He eventually speaks, causing Serafall to break down into a fit of giggles.

Well, Xenovia's still alive, so I'd say that was a successful diplomacy! Now it's only a matter of if Griselda can fix that damned mouth of hers before she starts insulting Rias and Sona.

Oh, also advanced 2 Chapters of BOTW up on , as are 2 advanced chapters of Dastardly Desires. one of the chapters of BOTW will be out sometime next week.