Don't Own the DXD or whatever other nonsense I eventually add in this fic, Only The Oc

'thought'
"Speech"
"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."

I look to the Black haired magical girl who still hasn't left after my very obvious 'get the fuck out'. Statement.

"I am greatly enjoying the little gift you gave me!" Serafall beams.

"I honestly don't even want to know."

"So, would you consider joining my peerage if I also invited your girlfriend?"

"Have you made it so your evil pieces aren't literal slavery yet?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"..."

"..."

"So, why have you come to Kuoh town, Suzu-tan?" The woman questions.

"Why wouldn't I come back to the territory I own?" I question.

Serafall looks perturbed. "But... the devil faction owns Kuoh town, Suzu."

"Oh, sure, I'm fine with letting little Rias and Sona think that, but here's the thing, Serafall. The devils owned this town... then, the owner got murdered by the church. The devils and church pull back, leaving this place empty for several years. Leaving this place more or less unprotected by the stray devils drawn here by the thin Ley line that runs under the town... yes, the bigger ones did get caught and killed, but smaller ones slipped through. This is my home town. I was born here. I protected it during your lapse of defense, and I am the strongest supernatural being living here. This town ismine."

"However, I don't really care about who is officially recognized as the 'owner' of Kuoh. Rias and Sona can have that. I'm just laying this out just in hypothetical case of 'you're getting awfully close to relatives of the Satans, could the Grigori be preparing for war?' No. Fuck you. I won't leave. You moved them to my city and I won't be pushed out of my birthplace."

"Oh? You were born here?" Serafall blinks as she glances away. "Huh... that explains a few things, honestly."

"We really only moved So-tan and Ria-tan here because of the sheer lack of stray devils- something I am assuming was a result of your actions. It was one of the safest towns in the human world, after all."

"And you and Sirzechs want to helicopter sibling them?" I ask.

"Yeah!" She cheers.

"..." she stares into my eyes.

"..." I stare right back.

"..." Honestly, I'm getting mildly uncomfortable at this point... "Have I ever told you my favorite bible verse? Don't make fun of bald people or they'll summon a bear from the woods to maul you?"

"Huh?" The woman seems legitimately confused.

"Two Kings Two, twenty three to twenty four..." She gives me a look similar to the one I gave her about kiddie Sona a couple minutes ago.

"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. "Get out of here, baldy!" they said. "Get out of here, baldy!"." She brings a hand letting out a small hiss, the corners of her mouth tilting downwards. "He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord... Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys."

"..."

"What. The. Fuck?" She seems genuinely caught off guard. The headache is one thing. But that just proves what I said is a legitimate bible verse, as why would my words cause her physical pain unless it was from the bible?

"Don't make fun of bald people or they, like a wandering druid, will have two bears come out of the woods and maul you, and forty one other boys... like, the thing is, it says SOME boys. Not fucking forty one! Some boys got caught in the crossfire! A small village of boys, devoured by bears as a result of two of their jeering."

"That- that can't be from the bible... can it?!" The woman still seems in denial.

As the devil of foreign relations she must only now realize who she has been negotiating with for the past five hundred years or so...

A bunch of fucking idiots.

Who am I kidding. She totally realized that day one.

"Those boys should have prayed harder, that's all I'm going to say." I shrug. "Maybe instead of jeering at bald people they should have spent more time praying to god that they won't get mauled by bears."

"Heh." The girl laughs. "Heheheh. Pahahahahah!"

Alright, I'm unnerved.

She continues giggling to herself.

She eventually wipes a tear from her eye. "You're fun, Suzu-tan. No-one is crazy enough to recite bible verses to a satan."

"Honestly, I'm sort of confused by your headache, because don't people say that even the devil can cite the scripture for his purpose?"

"Just because people say it, doesn't mean it's true, Suzu." Serafall beams.

"Mhm?" A low hum leaves my lips, my finger tapping on the table.

Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Please fucking leave.

"Can I meet your girlfriend?" The woman questions.

"No fuck off." I reply without even a millisecond of hesitation.

I blink slowly and correct what I said by trying to soften the blow. "You need to understand that you are some sort of a boogeyman to most of the Grigori and Mittelt doesn't seem comfortable meeting you... seeing as how she is cowering behind the door right behind me, peering through a crack instead of coming out here to meet you."

The door clicks shut.

"So, like, I've got some more accursed bible verses in my head. You want them to annoy the church with the next time you meet them?"

"Can you paraphrase them?" Serafall mutters. "I don't feel like getting a headache, but I am morbidly curious what is in that book."

"Alright, so, Genisis thirty eight, seven through ten, big G smited some guy's first born because it was evil in his eyes. Then, said father turned around spoke to his brother and was all 'knock up my wife'. But the brother didn't want to knock up his brother's wife, so he kept cumming outside... then god killed him for not following through."

"..."

"What?" Serafall blinks.

"Cucking is biblically canon. What about this are you not following, Serafall, do I need to get you a bibble or something?" I scoff. "Despite being canon, that doesn't stop it from being a shit fetish."

I cup my chin suddenly. "Wait a minute... that could be a great money making scheme... making copies of the Bible for devils to read, but just miss-spelling things and taking them out of context so you can quote exact bible verses back to the church when they start getting uppity."

"Huh..." Serafall mutters. "I'm not sure-"

"Anyways, Deuteronomy twenty three-one: don't sleep with your mother... just don't..."

"Okay?"

"Deuteronomy twenty three-two: If you like getting your balls crushed, you're not getting into heaven."

"Hah?"

Wait! This could be an opportunity to kick her out!

"Oh, and Song of Songs four-five. ' Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies." I point at her and wink, the devil sharply inhaling and bringing a hand to her temple. "That one wasn't paraphrased, by the way."

Hitting her with that prehistoric BC Solomon rizz.

"I could tell." She frowns.

"Proverbs twenty one-nineteen. It's better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife."

I'm not even censoring them anymore. I just want her to get out so I can bend Mittelt over something and have my way with her.

I give her a half lidded expression as I hit her with another mental bludgeon. "When two men are fighting and the wife of one of them intervenes to drag her husband clear of his opponent, if she puts out her hand and catches hold of the man by his privates, you must cut off her hand and show her no mercy. Deuteronomy twenty five-eleven."

I prop my head up with one arm. "Psalms one hundred and thirty seven, nine. Blessed the one who seizes your children and smashes them against the rock"

Her hands shake lightly.

"Alright. Can you just fucking leave already. Like, I have been hoping you'd get the message by now, but you're clearly not getting it."

"I am... a little concerned how you know so many bible verses off the top of your head." The woman informs.

"TLDR, Photographic and Eidetic memory... I'm entering my mind palace and looking through the near endless amount of bookshelves in my brain, pulling out the bible and looking for the most curse statements I can think of from it."

"..."

"Can I have a tour of your little game store here?"

"Alright, now you're just trying to stay as long as physically possible to inconvenience me." I observe.

"Huh... quite astute of you." The woman smiles. "So about that tour?"

"..."

I point behind me with a thumb. "Apartment."

I gesture around. "Lobby"

I point to a door on the far side of the room. "A hallway leading to numerous little booths with Eden systems inside each and every one. Plus male and female bathrooms at the end."

I point down to the floor. "Hell. The place a fiend like you should probably be heading back to before the slaves realize you left the door to their kennel open."

"What's your hourly rates for rental?" She questions.

"You can check them... outside." I point past her.

"Can you add a magical girl transformation wand to Domain of Magic?"

I snap my fingers, a large object appearing beside me. "I have a NUCLEAR BOMB! And if you don't get the hell out of my establishment and allow me to plow my needy girlfriend, I will blow us all to kingdom come."

"..."

"..."

"That's paper mache."

"FUCK!" I curse as I turn to the bomb and flick it with an index finger, the side crumpling slightly with a crunch as it is lifted off the ground. It flops to the floor a moment later, landing on its side as I turn, frowning down at it. "I was sure I made that as realistic as possible."

"Most supernatural creatures have senses beyond a human's standard sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. So while you might be able to accidentally irradiate yourself. It's much harder for a supernatural creature as we can sort of... feel radiation... it's sort of like magic in a way."

A sigh leave my lips. "Just get the fuck out. Please?"

"You bullied me. So now I'll cockblock you!" The woman exclaims, a bright grin on her face.

"I could take away a certain program you currently have thirty seven hours in." I casually threaten as I look to my nails.

There's a small twitch to her face. "It's not nice to continually use that against me, Suzu."

"After all. I'm here in person now... and I can beat you up!" The woman declares.

"Can you?"

"Dunno. Fifty-fifty. Your power was pretty spooky. When you got miffed at that church girl." She admits.

I give her a bright smile. "Would you like to see how much weaker you are than me? Cause you are testing my patience, Levi-chaaan~"

"..."

"..."

"God God God God God God God." I watch the girl wince and recoil back slightly.

"How are you able to keep your position if this causes you so much discomfort?" I taunt.

"It's based on how powerful we are in comparison to the origin of the effect." She groans. "And humans make it stronger!"

"..."

"Neat!" I hum. "God God God God God God God."

"F-Fine! I'll leave! S-stop bullying me, Suzu-tan!"

"I will as soon as you are out those doors. I was about to drop the ultimatum of 'One girl under this roof is about to have back breaking unprotected breeding sex. It'll either be you or Milly'. But if you'd just get out of my hair, that'd be juuuust nice."

"..." she pouts at me, tears prickling at her eyes. "Can I watch?"

"No."

"Can I join in?"

"Also no. You scare my girlfriend."

"I'll be good!"

"Don't you have a child version of your little sister to design and enact your weirdo shit on?" I question.

Her tears disappear as she perks up. "Good point Suzu! I'm off to make So-Clone Two Loli Boogaloo!"

"Buh Bye!" She waves as she turns and skips out the door.

"..."

Somehow, I was the one who ended up with a headache today.

The doors lock behind her as I turn around. A self-loathing sigh leaving my lips as I bring a hand to my head.

That woman is going to be the death of me.

I walk up the stairs to my shared apartment. Walking past Mittelt, then I promptly faceplanting upon our little shared bed.

"..."

"Serafall's fucking exhausting." I groan.

"You're crazy for talking to her that way." The blonde observes.

"No. I'm being memorable." I announce as I roll over. "Everyone's always so polite and respectful around her, and, while I do respect her. I'd imagine that she appreciates dealing with someone who isn't all stuffy and professional."

Mittelt slowly wanders over, eventually straddling my waist, her hand comes to rest on my chest. "Really?"

"I'd bet so." I shrug slightly as I let out a long breath. "Still, entering a 'who can be a petty child' contest with Serafall is exhausting. She's been doing this more than twenty times longer than I have been alive."

"HEY!" A voice exclaims from the outside, causing Mittelt to freeze moments before slipping off her shirt.

She darts under the blankets, curling up slightly.

I slowly get up, walking over to the window which has the curtains drawn.

I pull back the curtains, revealing a black haired magical girl with her face pressed up against the glass.

I open the window slightly and lean out. "Hey, Sera-tan! Want to see something cool!"

"Is it you banging your cutie girlfriend?" The girl questions.

"I can't believe you are cheating on your prescious So-Tan, Sera-tan! To want to observe me sticking my twelve inch meat wand into Mittelt's deepest places.

"twelve... inch?" Serafall blinks. "S-Seriously? That can't be-"

I give het a half-lidded stare and pull down my pants.

"Oh wow. I totally underestimated that monster." She mutters, eyes trailing my length.

"H-HEY!" Mittelt growls from the bed, blue eyes peering from the shadows of her little curled up blanket fort.

I pull my pants up. "But that isn't what I wanted to show you.

I curl my fingers, like I'm about to snap my fingers, white sparks crackle around my fingers. "See this, sera-tan?"

"Mhm? Pretty sparkles."

"This... is Fairy Law. It's the spell I'd use to kill entire armies amidst combat with Grigori forces. It's a wide-range, holy attack that only targets those who I in my heart deem as enemies... and its total area can currently cover the entire area of Kuoh in an instant."

She blinks down at the sparks. "Huh?"

"Now, you see, this little attack doesn't really care about barriers or spies. If I feel in my heart that an organization is well and truly an enemy, then this attack will kill each and every person in that organization within my line of sight. No chance to dodge. No chance to hide or block... it'll even kill those who are spies on our own side and spare those who are spies on the enemy's side. It is an undefeatable attack."

"..."

"Don't make me deem cockblocking magical girls enemies... if you are going to watch... at least be quiet about it." I smile, giving her a half lidded stare.

"U-Uh... you're... You're bluffing!"

"..."

"Whatever." I sigh dramatically, my face lightening from the serious scowl I had.

I slam the window down, shutting it.

"Ow! My fingers!" Serafall whines as she had placed her hands on the window frame.

I return to the bed, flopping down and staring up at the ceiling.

"Well. I'm exhausted. Same time tomorrow, Mil?" I question.

A feral growl leaves the girl's mouth. "ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL GET MY WAY! YOU'LL SEE! YOU'LL ALL SEE!"

I reach over and pat her head, climbing under the blankets, my arms gently wrapping around the girl raging against the world.

I blink slowly, gazing around the room I find myself in.

Wait a secon-

"DO NOT BE AFRAID!" A voice shrieks behind me, causing me to bring a hand to my chest as I jump slightly.

A long breath leaves my lips as I turn.

"it's been a while, God."

The large tentacle monster before me slowly morphs into that kindly old man which I hadn't seen for around fifteen years now.

"For you, perhaps." He smiles.

"Wait... did- did I die in my sleep?!"

"Oh, no such thing." The man waves off. "I just wanted to speak to you again..."

"I've completed my goal." I admit quietly.

"You have." The deity observes. "Just as you said you would..."

I take a seat at the table across from the man a tea cup appearing in front of each of us.

"How are you enjoying your new life, Suzutsu?" The man questions.

"It's... it's wonderful." I admit, a small smile appearing on my lips. "Though, to be fair, I haven't had much opportunity to really... enjoy... it considering I was just doing work, work, work trying to get the system to work."

"Honestly... I don't even really have any idea how I got it to work."

"Great Red." The old man suddenly speaks.

"...'

"Huh?" I blink.

"Great Red allowed you to tap into its domain of dreams." The god explains, taking a brief moment to sip his tea. "It is a mutual benefit for the two of you. it gains entertainment and the power of millions of humans believing in one sole thing, a power that can create entire realities, mind you, and you... get your game."

"Huh... will... that have any adverse effects?" I question cautiously. "Like, will it be able to take over? Pull an SAO and threaten to kill people if they die?"

"No." The deity shakes their head. "While it may be syphoning belief, enough so that the world doesn't inadvertently create an entirely new closely connected dimension, it isn't able to change anything in-game."

"..."

"So... is this when things start falling into place?" I question.

"Oh, my child..." The man smiles. "They already have."

He waves his hand, suddenly we are having tea in a dark and macabre room. Chains line the walls, numerous torture devices are kept seemingly on display.

"Those damned fallen have created their own demise! Fuahahahah!" A white haired man cackles as he walks around one of my pods.

Is that-

"Rizevim Livan Lucifer." Answers the man across from me.

"..."

"What does he even expect to be doing?"

"Basically... upload a virus to kill people."

"..."

I let out a long sigh. "Well, I suppose this is just another thing I'll be forced to deal with... I guess."

"Now..." The man smirks evilly as he brings out a screwdriver. "To see what makes you tick- oop fuck-"

He trips over the cord of the Eden device.

"..."

"..."

He doesn't get back up, screwdriver stabbed completely through his neck.

"..."

"Really?" I question, glancing towards the deity. "A screwdriver?"

"Mhm." He nods once.

"That- That's it?" I Question.

"He was getting quite old... slipping and falling was to be expected at this point." The man shrugs. "You know what they say, the leading cause of death for those over forty are accidents."

"..."

"Whatever." I shrug. "Better than being forced to deal with him with my two hands, I guess. I am unsure if I'm quite in the 'super devil' range... though I wonder if I can get the recording for this... send it to Serafall just to fuck with her. Label it something like 'ASMR: Racist super devil trips over a cord and fucking dies'."

"Noooow..." I continue, gazing back to the old man in front of me. "I've been noticing some people here and there that don't really belong in DXD. Is there any real correlation? Or, like, are they just completely and totally random?"

"Tossed haphazardly and randomly throughout the world." The man smiles.

"I... see... is there anyone from Fairy Tail that I should worry about being weirded out that they have an NPC in-game?" I question.

"No."

"Dragon Ball?" I ask.

"Nope. Unless you count the original Sun Wukong. I thought the fact that Dragon Ball Z existed here instead of 'Drag-So-Ball' should have keyed you in on that."

"I mean, that's fair, but I haven't exactly been watching anime the past... life... I've been too busy working... I may start now that the Eden exists. Uhhh One piece?" I continue.

"Not that either."

"I see. That's good." I nod slowly. "Good indeed."

"..."

"So, I take it Kokabiel is no longer an issue? His blood lust sated by my game."

The old man smiles. "Why, that's something you could very easily determine yourself, is it not? I'm not here to give you all the answers, after all."

"Raynare, Kalawarner and Dohnaseek?"

"Will probably never come to again Kuoh." He continues. "They aren't very important in the grand scheme of things, are they?"

"Fair. Fair. I could probably just check our systems to see where they're stationed as well, I just didn't really care much." I sigh. "So... is there anything that you need, sir? Ah... Kami? God?"

"Sir is fine." The man states. "And no... there's really nothing I need... I just wished to tell you that your goals have been completed, thus... your peaceful life is now more or less at hand."

A long breath leaves my lips, the corners of my mouth turning upwards. "Yeah... I guess it is."

"Though... since I am here... I should probably ask-"

"No. There will be no issue, not that you even need to." The man states with a small head shake.

"Wait- what do you mean? I'm human... so... I'm going to die in like... a few decades of old age. Becoming an Etherious would solve like... ALL of my issues." I point out.

"You do realize that Adam... a human... Lived to nine hundred and thirty, correct?"

"W-Wait... did you-"

The corners of the man's mouth turn upwards. "Indeed. You might not have the natural lifespan of devils or fallen angels, however... those with mystical energies such as magic or Ki will find themselves. You've mastered one. If you can get a handle on the other, I see no reason you could not live for thousands of years. Three thousand at the very minimum. That will be more than enough time for you to discover some way to extend your life more."

"Have fun with your game, Suzutsu Hyoudou... Live well."

"Thank you. I will." I bow my head slightly. "Thank you for this opportunity. It-"

"I know, my boy." The man smiles kindly.

"..." I stare for a long moment, eyes narrowing slightly as I make a ballsy decision to ask a question that has been on my mind for the past few minutes I've been here. "Are you manipulating fate to cockblock me-"

"Enjoy your life!" The deity cackles as the world darkens.

Light filters in through my eyelids as I slowly rouse from my sleep.

I can feel a weight on my lap causing me to blink tiredly.

Mittelt is already up, straddling my waist, looming over me, a small blush on her face.

She is topless and only in panties.

"Hey." She eventually greets.

"Hey." I reply.

"..."

"So... what are you doing?"

"Making use of your morning wood to get off." She admits with a small shrug.

"It'd probably work better if you actually inserted it." I roll my eyes as I sit up, planting a gentle kiss on her lips.

Her breaths come out in very sudden sharp pants, her face reddening, as she cups her cheeks with her hands.

Her entire body seems to shiver.

She looks a bit like a girl in a hentai that had been drugged with an aphrodisiac.

She...

Must have been struggling so hard to hold herself back for the past two days.

"Want some breakfast before we get started?"

"Your dick." She hisses out.

I sort of want to be cruel and just see how long I can keep her teetering on the edge like this, buuuut. I sort of also want this.

"Alright, alright." I roll my eyes. "Come here, you."

Well, maybe smut next chapter? Who knows!
Regardless, Rizevim's fucking dead.
That's one massive issue solved, and the game is inching closer and closer to its official release date!