*I am terribly sorry that I am updating the story after a very long time! Many of you might have forgotten about this story, so it's best to read it right from the beginning :) Please don't forget to leave a feedback below this chapter. It hardly takes any time!*
This chapter contains a lot of medical terms/stuff but it's not that difficult to understand :) I hope any medical professionals reading this enjoy the nonsense I have written in this chapter :P
Chapter 12: Come Back Now
I can see my lovely Angela and Charlotte walking towards me and I want to scream with joy, but wait…they aren't smiling! Tears are rolling down their faces and their teardrops are staining their crisp white dresses into a crimson red. What is this happening? I keep looking at them helplessly as I can't seem to do anything to help them. This is a nightmare! I am struggling to get up and to reach them but I seem to be going further away from them as much as they are trying to get closer to me….
(The alarm on one of the machines starts beeping; nurse Sandra comes running into the room and pages the doctor.)
"His O2 sats have dropped slightly doctor.
"Check his trach tube. When was the last time he was suctioned?"
"Just a couple of hours ago doctor… I'll check again."
"Chest is clear doctor."
"Everything looks okay doctor, all the bandages are in place. I think his fever has increased, his skin feels hotter than before."
"Okay check his temperature Sandra, and run an arterial blood gas. Let's see if we get anything from there."
The results are back in less than 20 minutes and it is found that Jane has mild hypoxemia. The preliminary CBC results reconfirm the diagnosis of bacterial pneumonia. The doctor decides to wake up Lisbon and inform her about the latest happenings.
"Agent Lisbon"… it's the middle of the night and I feel someone shaking me gently to wake me up. After a little more prodding I finally wake up and see the nurse standing beside me.
"Agent Lisbon, sorry to wake you up, but you need to come with me."
Shocked, I ask, "Why? What's happened? Is Jane okay?"
"I'm sorry, only the doctor can tell you that. Please visit him in his office. He's waiting for you there."
I don't bother changing into my regular clothes. I simply slip my feet into the hospital provided flip-flops and make my way to the doctor's office. Doctor Evans asks me to take a seat and dials a number to bring us two cups of coffee.
"Agent Lisbon, sorry to have woken you up in the middle of the night, but there has been a situation with regards to Jane's condition."
"What situation?" I ask the doctor.
Just then the coffee arrives.
I see some hesitation on the doctor's face… "What is it doctor? Has he shown any signs of waking up?"
"I'm afraid not Agent Lisbon. I am very sorry to say but it looks like does not have much time left."
I can't believe what I have heard and the coffee in my mouth splatters all over the table in front of me. It's a miracle that the droplets of the coffee have missed hitting the doctor by just a few inches. While coughing, I see the regret written on the doctor's face. He rushes by my side and presses the call button for the nurse to come in. I am still coughing and gagging and the strain is making my eyes tear up. The nurse runs her hand repeatedly on my back in an attempt to soothe me. The coughing fit lasts for a few minutes but to me it seems like a lifetime. Finally the coughing stops and the nurse hands me a glass of lukewarm water to soothe my throat. It takes a few minutes for my throat and body to calm down from the coughing fit. However, my heart and my mind have different plans. I find teardrops slipping thru my eyes as I ask the doctor all the details.
"Agent Lisbon, I am so, so sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but it looks like he is giving up in spite of our efforts to treat him. We had already begun treating him for bacterial pneumonia which had spread to his blood. We took the necessary steps – kept him in isolation to minimize any infection, administered the required medication…but he isn't showing any improvement and has in fact developed a high fever. His temperature is higher than before and although we have placed a cooling blanket on him we aren't sure how much that will help. We also ran a blood gas test and it shows his oxygen levels are dipping in spite of the ventilator support. We are honestly at a loss about how to treat him."
I can't believe what the doctor has just told me. The medical team is running out of options and that Jane might die? No no no! I won't let him die, there has to be a way. "Isn't there anything else you can do for him? Maybe try another drug? What about his chest tube – you had mentioned that it can be pulled out only after the drainage stops? What's happening with that? Can you run some more blood tests to find out what's going on with him?" I shoot all sorts of questions towards the doctor.
The doctor gives me a sympathetic smile and answers my questions patiently.
"Agent Lisbon, we already have him on the second type of antibiotic as the first one didn't help in reducing his fever. There's one more antibiotic that we could try, but it's a very strong medication and we aren't sure if his body will be able to handle it. His immune system is quite weak at this stage and unfortunately, it isn't able to fight off the infection that he has contracted. He is also still draining fluids from his chest so I'm afraid the chest tube still needs to be where it is. We will be starting him on supplemental oxygen as his blood oxygen levels are low in spite of the ventilator support. We have also been thinking about bringing him out of the induced coma to see if it improves his condition, but as I said before, his condition is very weak, so we aren't sure if his body will be able to handle all these stresses."
I close my eyes and I remain quiet for some time as it's taking me some time to absorb all the information the doctor has just given me. Jane and weak are terms that don't go together in my opinion. I have known him for long enough to be able to say for sure that Jane is a person who doesn't give up easily. He has been a fighter for as long as I have known him and he has survived the worst of the days, so I feel confident that he will pull thru this time too. I finally compose myself and ask the doctor what's the next best step he can take.
"A reduction in sedation and administering continuous supplemental oxygen in addition to the ventilator support"…is the doctor's reply.
"Won't the reduction in sedation cause him any difficulty?"
"Yes Agent Lisbon, we anticipate that and hence we do these three things together – we reduce the sedation and then administer oxygen through a face mask and lastly we increase the pain medication by a bit so that the patient doesn't feel much distress."
"What do you mean by that? Will he be in pain?"
"So Agent Lisbon, this is what you should know. He is currently on narcotic pain medication due to his injuries and the chest tube, but these medicines can increase the risk in breathing efficiently. He already has a fever and the pain medication might be working against the ability of his body to accept a full breath from the ventilator. So this is what we plan to do. After we reduce the sedation and the pain medication through his IV line and put the oxygen mask on, we will increase the local anesthesia through topical medicines. This will reduce the amount of medication flowing through his blood stream and might help with our cause."
This sounds like a plan to my medically untrained ears and brain, so I give him the permission to try this treatment out. I am very scared for Jane and I'm scared because I hold his medical power of attorney and all the decisions about his welfare rest with me and no one else. I pray to God that this change in treatment works for Jane. I ask the doctor if I can see Jane prior to this change of treatment. He advises me to stay put until his team finishes making all the changes required in the treatment plan as there's no time to waste. Each second is valuable and every breath counts. So I wait…..as patiently as I can – right outside Jane's room. It's 3:30 am in the morning but sleep and food are the last things on my mind as I wait for the medical personnel to do their jobs. The doctor will be giving me instructions for my subsequent visit to Jane's room and I can hardly seem to wait.
About 30 minutes later a nurse asks me to wear scrubs so that I can enter the hospital room for the further procedures. My heart is racing while I am putting on the scrubs as I don't know what to expect to see on the other side of the door. I am ready to enter the room and push open the door to Jane's room. The first thing I notice is how cold the room is! It's like I've entered a freezer…and then I see the person I came to see. He looks so pale that it scares me. I had gotten used to seeing the rise and fall of his chest in-sync with the beeps of the ventilator, but now I also see a mask covering his face – his beautiful and handsome face. I didn't think that the addition of a face mask would make me so jittery. I am trembling a little as I approach Jane's bedside.
The doctor asks me to come and stand on the other side of Jane's bed so that I can see what's happening. He tells me that he has numbed the areas of incision and injury and that he is going to start reducing the pain medication now. He decreases the medication right in front of my eyes and then proceeds to decrease the sedative medication. As he's decreasing the sedative he tells me that I might see Jane's eyelids move or maybe one of his fingers move in a few hours and that it is totally normal for the body to react that way. He also advises me that even though I see that movement it does not mean that Jane is out of the woods or that things are okay, it is just the body's response to a decrease in the sedation. This makes me a little unhappy, but I am basically more than willing to give anything a try so that Jane starts recovering. With all these things done, the doctor and the nurse leave the room and I once again find myself alone in the room with Jane.
I am dressed in scrubs but I don't care. I need to touch Jane to keep myself from losing it. The first thing I do is gently smooth his hair. His wild curls are entangled with each other, so I try to not to mess with them unnecessarily. I stroke his forehead a couple of times and plant a kiss there. I pull the chair in the room closer to his bed and begin the one-sided conversation that has been playing in my head ever since I met the doctor.
"Jane, sweetheart, it's me. We are all fighting for you and we want to see you recover soon. I know it's hard but you need to keep fighting too. I need you to respond to the treatment and that's an order. It's an order with love and care. You understand? I am here for you, we are all here for you. Agent Hightower is going to come and visit you tomorrow, so now no more fever okay? We are a team and we have to remain a team no matter what. Tonight I am going to be with you, so don't you worry about anything. You are going to be fine, just fine, but come back to us now. We miss you." With this, I kiss him on the forehead again and recline on the sofa-chair next to his bed. I'm proud of myself that I didn't cry even a bit as I think my heart knows that everything will be okay in the end.
I gently place my hand over his hand which does not have an IV attached to it. I pull up my blanket and close my eyes in an attempt to get some sleep but sleep doesn't come easily, so I pull out my phone and play some soothing instrumental music in a very low volume and soon I find myself falling asleep.
"Good night Jane, sleep well." I kiss the back of his palm and finally go to sleep…