Well, this one was a bit of a pig to get up! After chipping away at it since before the New Year, finally reaching the end of over 13k words and thinking I'm finally done... I hit a glitch that won't let me upload -_-
Thankfully, I managed to find a workaround, so finally I can share it with all of you! We're really getting into the meat of the story now, so I'm crossing everything that the next part comes a bit easier, and I can get it out a bit quicker.
On a lighter note, a lovely regular reviewer by the name of Yael Bones reached out for help with editing her new story, Life, death and despair, which I hope you'll give a try if you're so inclined. The premise is really intriguing and I really enjoyed working on the first chapter, which is out now up here: www. fanfiction s/ 14328049/ 1/ Life-death-and-despair (Copy and paste and remove spaces, you know the drill if you've been on here long enough) Give it a read and give her some love!
For now, enjoy the continuing drama!
Glitterb x
Chapter 11: Pack
Waking up every morning became a shock. I hated that I was doubting Edythe's ability to keep me safe, but some deep-seated primordial instinct just would not let me relax. As it was, I was still waking screaming from nightmares that swung wildly between the usual aimless searching and a frantic chase; finally the terror made sense as the last moments of the dream saw Victoria descending on me in a flurry of red hair and black-eyed fury. The other change was that Edythe was always there to help calm me and to confirm, when I frantically gasped their names, that Beau and Charlie had also survived the night.
"Really, Bella," she joked on the third morning of this happening. "It's like you don't trust me at all."
I couldn't think of a way to refute that which wouldn't sound hollow, but the way she smiled and hugged me made me think she understood.
She had made her excuses to stay on Monday morning, claiming that a water main had burst at her work and left the premises entirely uninhabitable, forcing the owners to close for a minimum of several weeks' worth of repairs. Charlie accepted her story with little argument and quickly shushed her feigned worries about abusing his good will by continuing to stay with us.
"So long as you're still happy on Bella's bedroom floor," he assured her, and both of us nodded.
After that, Edythe basically spent her days finding excuses to be out of the house and tailing us while we went to school and work. Mostly because I insisted, and she seemed to realise that arguing would get her nowhere, she made occasional trips to the police station to check on Charlie, but for the most part she stuck near me. Not that I was ever exactly aware of her presence, so she could have been anywhere. I was fading into the background at school again, too consumed with worry to focus on being social, and once again Beau turned into my buffer, though Angela was helping him now; Jeremy seemed to have gone off of me again after the movie night fiasco, but she obviously still felt I was worth knowing. Or perhaps she was just trying to pay me back for corroborating her story about the bear.
Despite all efforts by me, Edythe, and my brother, I knew my dad was getting worried. There really was no way to hide how my mood had changed, how I jumped at strange shadows and small sounds, or went pale for no apparent reason. Based on the few comments he ventured to make, he seemed to blame the sudden shift on the fact that we still hadn't heard anything from Jules.
Now that she was absolutely confirmed as being better, I was surprised that she hadn't called – when I wasn't so scared that I couldn't concentrate on anything else. It had occurred to me that the arguments Charlie had seen on Saturday might have been an effort to finally confront Sam, Embry or both, and if she had been in any way successful, then surely Jules would want to tell me. Or was she still too angry with me from the movie night? It hadn't seemed like she'd taken my rejection that hard, so I hoped that she was only distracted by her worry about her friends.
After Monday passed with no word, I called on Tuesday evening, but got no answer. Either the phone lines were a mess again, or Bonnie had got so sick of my pestering that she'd bought Caller ID and was ignoring me on purpose. The dozens of calls I made on Wednesday that also went unanswered left me no closer to working out which it was.
I knew I wasn't doing a very good job keeping any of my anxiety hidden from Beau and Edythe. Which, if nothing else, was dampening some of the guilt from knowing I was once again keeping secrets from my brother. In my defence, I wanted to share my suspicions about the pack with him, but I could never find a time or place that I could be sure we weren't being listened to by someone. Not to mention that I knew the first thing he would do would be to insist we tell Edythe, and I was still nervous about causing a renewed conflict between the wolves and the Cullens.
By Thursday, though, I realised I was running out of options. The only way I was going to conclusively settle my nerves and get my warning to Jules was to go down to La Push and see her in person. That was going to be entirely impossible without looping the others in; there was no way either of them would let me go somewhere that Edythe couldn't follow.
Sure enough, as soon as I raised the idea with Beau on our drive home from school, his response was an immediate and definite, "No."
"Beau…"
"I won't bother reminding you what's at stake," he said, his tone gentle but firm. "And I know you know that leaving scent trails to new places right now is not a good idea."
The thought had occurred to me, and it was the main reason I hadn't suggested trying to run away, to escape Victoria before she arrived. After all, where could I go? I wasn't about to lead the monsters hunting me to my mother, and even going to some anonymous hotel or bustling city wouldn't help; Victoria would still go to our house first, and without Edythe there to protect him, God only knew what she would do to Charlie.
"I know it's safer to stay away, but I also can't ignore the fact that something is wrong," I insisted. "You heard Jules on the phone the other week, she was a mess."
"So it's taking her a while to get back on her feet." He shrugged. "That's perfectly reasonable. Even ignoring everything else, we're better off not bothering her."
Irritation flared sharply. "You starting to sound like Bonnie and Charlie, and it doesn't suit you. Besides, she's been out at least once in the last week, Charlie even saw her, so don't try to tell me she's too sick. I think there's something else going on."
"Like what?" Beau asked, sounding exasperated now. "Just because your friend hasn't called you back, that means there has to be some grand conspiracy at work?"
"You don't think it's suspicious?" I shot back. "She was so insistent that we could not go down there until she called, which tells me she obviously meant to. What's changed between then and now?"
We were back at the house by this point; Beau pulled the truck in to the kerb with more force than necessary and gave an irritated huff as he practically jumped out of the cab. I climbed out and hurried after him.
"Talk some sense into her, would you?" he grumbled, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at me and seemingly talking to thin air, until Edythe materialised from the treeline and fell into step with us as if she'd been there the entire time.
"Someone is going to catch you doing that one of these days," I pointed out to him, more waspish than usual as his attitude started to get to me. He didn't seem to care, giving a distracted wave of dismissal as he thumped up the porch steps and reached for the key.
"You asked what's changed," Edythe said gently, drawing me back to the subject at hand. "But you sound as if you already have a theory."
I chewed on the inside of my lip, still not sure if I wanted to tell her. But looking at her open, curious face, I suddenly felt a rush of guilt. I had told myself I was trying to protect her from getting hurt, but that assumed she would immediately try to confront the wolves, and really, what had I been thinking? She wasn't that sort of person, and the assumption was foolish and almost insulting of me.
I took my time to find the right words, following my brother into the kitchen and sitting down at the table with my hands twisting anxiously in front of me. Edythe pulled one of the other chairs closer beside me and laid a soothing hand on my back, rubbing gently up and down my spine.
"Tell us what it is you are scared of," she murmured encouragingly.
"Alright." I let out a long huff of breath. "For a while now, Jules has been worrying about her friend Embry. He's got mixed up with this… well, she called it a gang, but I don't really know what it is. According to Jules, they act like some sort of tribal police. They report to the council, and Bonnie won't hear a word said against them. But Jules says they each vanished for a few weeks, then came back with massively changed behaviour and joined this group. She said it was like they became completely different people, and it was making her nervous."
Beau sat down in the last chair, drawn in apparently in spite of his annoyance at me, a concerned frown creasing his forehead. "Who exactly are we talking about here?"
"I don't know all their names," I admitted, which was true enough; Jules had only given me first names for the original two disciples. "But their leader is Sam Uley."
A knowing look passed between the two of them, and I realised abruptly that my theory about the pack might not be the revelation that I thought it was.
"You think Sam has set his sights on Jules as his next recruit?" Edythe asked, still outwardly calm.
"She said he was paying more attention to her other friend, Quil," I explained. "But that he treated her strangely, almost… reverently. The way a lot of people show respect to Bonnie. She said it had something to do with their heritage."
Edythe was nodding slowly. "Ephraim Black was the head of the pack that we met when we were here before. He would have commanded respect in certain circles, and it's not unreasonable to think that such treatment would filter down to his descendants. After all, Mrs Black is perfectly aware of the truth behind the legends, she made that much clear when we came back here."
"Do you think I'm right, then?" I ventured. "That Sam's gang is also the new pack?"
"Yes, I do. It seems embarrassingly obvious now." She smiled sheepishly, an expression that looked odd on her face, usually so confident and controlled. "We really ought to have put the pieces together sooner, but we truly had no reason to believe that the wolves had returned to La Push."
"Sam's always treated us weird," Beau explained, correctly reading my curious and confused expression. "He made it pretty obvious that he believed the legends, but we never thought it was more than that. So, him and those other two that were with him…" He broke off abruptly, then went on as if he hadn't just clearly edited himself mid-sentence. "That makes three. But there were five wolves the other day, so who are the others?"
"Embry's probably one," I offered. "And maybe Quil is the other? Charlie said he saw Jules arguing with some people when he was down on the reservation on Saturday, so that could have been what it was about. She's lost all her friends to a weird cult, and she's mad about it."
"That would certainly explain it," Edythe agreed. "We never knew exactly how the wolves came to be, so it isn't unreasonable to assume that there are some signs of impending transformation that they look out for. As Beau mentioned, there were only three before we left, assuming this Embry is a more recent addition?" She raised an eyebrow at me, and it felt at once odd and exhilarating to be the one with all the information for once.
"Yeah, Jules said Embry only started following Sam around about a month ago. About when we started working on the bikes."
The reminder of my motorcycle made Beau scowl as usual, and Edythe's expression turned mildly amused. "Ah yes, that is an interesting new hobby you've picked up. But, getting back to the point, we can safely assume that Embry was not a werewolf, at least not a fully-fledged one, until he started spending more time with Sam Uley. So there must be some change that takes place to turn them from ordinary Quileute teenager to shape-changer."
"Is it like your change?" I wondered. "Could Sam be targeting them, doing something to them, forcing them into it?"
"I don't believe so," Edythe said, looking thoughtful now. "That would require a continued presence of werewolves in order for the old ones to make the new. As far as we know, Sam is the first of the new group, and there don't appear to be any others among the older tribe members, so where did his abilities come from? No, I think it is more likely that there is some genetic component at play. That would certainly explain the reverence they show for descendants of the previous pack leader – it could all be passed down through family lines, a dormant gene that waits for some trigger, some special set of circumstances that does not occur in every generation."
I was suddenly struck by a horrible thought that hadn't occurred to me yet. "Do you think it might happen to Jules too? If she's the last leader's great-granddaughter…"
"Hard to know," Edythe mused. "I think it is probably unlikely. All the wolves we met before were male, as far as we could tell."
"Jules called them 'wolf-men' when she was telling me the stories," Beau added helpfully. "So maybe it's only the boys that change. You said Sam wasn't looking at her the same as Quil. That tells me he's probably not expecting anything to happen to her."
"All the same, I need to go and see her." I turned a pleading look on Edythe. "I know it's not the safest choice, but I have to know… I have to try…"
I didn't quite know how that sentence wanted to end, but there was a look in Edythe's eyes that said she understood, even though I knew I was immune to her talent for reading what people wanted. Apparently, my face was just so transparent that she didn't even need it.
"I won't pretend that I like it," she cautioned. "There are a thousand unknowns with the werewolves alone, even assuming Victoria isn't nearby, or that they can keep her away. But I also understand your concern for your friend, and it isn't my place to tell you that you cannot go. May I just ask you to take a few precautions?"
"Sure." I would agree to just about anything if it got me to Jules. Which was probably not healthy, but I was well past caring about that at this point.
Edythe was all business. "There is a boundary line that we are permitted to go up to according to the terms of the treaty. Will you allow me to ride with you as far as the line, and wait for you there so I can be sure you are protected as far as I am able?"
"Yes, of course," I agreed. I'd expected much worse; having her come halfway with me was hardly a trial.
But she wasn't done. "And you'll keep your phone on you and respond as promptly as you can if I contact you?"
I nodded eagerly. "Of course."
"And if there is any sign of Sam or the others in his group…" The most serious expression I had yet seen from her overtook her face. "You get away. I don't know what they will do if they feel threatened, especially if they can sense that you have been around me. The previous pack seemed concerned with protecting humans, but they were well established and experienced. These are new wolves and I do not know how much control they have over their abilities, and if young werewolves are anything like young vampires…"
"Bad things," Beau finished for her grimly.
She gave one terse nod. "Very possibly."
It was a doleful note to end on, but the rattle of Charlie's keys in the front door signalled that the conversation had to be over, at least for now. In an unspoken moment of synchronicity, the three of us stood from the table and split apart; I started on dinner, while the other two disappeared into the hallway.
"The key wasn't under the eave," Charlie grumbled as his boots thumped to the floor. "Did one of you move it?"
"Yeah, I brought it in with me." When I glanced over, Beau was pulling the key out of his pocket and holding it up as evidence; I hadn't even noticed him put it there.
I couldn't quite see Charlie from my angle, but I could hear the frown in his voice. "What did you do that for?"
My brother shrugged. "I don't know, I just had the thought that it's not the safest place to keep a key. I might even start taking it to school, just in case."
"Because this town is just a minefield of breaking and entering cases," Charlie bit out, too irritated for the sarcasm to land. "What's your sister supposed to do? You're lucky I had this one in my pocket or I'd have been hammering on the door just to get into my own house."
"We come home together more often than not," Beau replied, somehow unconcerned and soothingly insistent at the same time. "And any days we don't, we'll just make sure the first one to get in has it. I really think this is a safer plan, Dad."
Charlie continued to make disgruntled noises as he retreated down the hall to the living room, but didn't really argue any further. Beau turned and gave me a grin and a thumbs up, his mood such a contrast from five minutes ago that I couldn't help the abrupt laugh that burst out; if it was a tad hysterical, he didn't comment, and I didn't examine it too closely.
The evening continued as normal, our father seemingly not aware of the tension crackling between the rest of us like a gathering lightning storm. There was a distracted frown on his face all night, and on any other day I might have asked him about it, but I couldn't face adding anything else to my already overburdened nerves. Getting to sleep that night was even more difficult than usual, and Sam starred in my dreams again, seeming to loom closer tonight as he watched me run aimlessly through the woods. The odd flickering of his form did at last resolve itself, as he switched back and forth between the tall, imposing man I remembered hovering in the corner of our living room and the enormous black wolf who had led the way into the meadow on Saturday. I realised that my dreams had been trying to give me hints for weeks and felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner; unfortunately the realisation came out in a bout of choked hysteria on the back of the screaming as the nightmare ended, leaving me gasping for breath. Edythe looked even more concerned than usual as she tried to soothe me. She reassured me over and over that Beau and Charlie were alright and kept offering to go and get one of them, but I shook my head vigorously. They didn't need to see this, and I wouldn't have been able to explain it to them any more than I could make her understand. In the end, she simply held me until I fell back into an exhausted sleep, and mercifully didn't ask me about it when I woke again.
The school day on Friday passed in a strange blur; I wasn't precisely unaware of what was happening, but I was also too focused on what was coming to pay any real attention to my surroundings. I was sure all my class notes would be gibberish when I read them over later, and I couldn't even pretend to join in with the chatter at lunchtime. Sitting through my shift at work felt like torture as the anticipation really began to ramp up, and I was tapping my foot anxiously by the time Beau pulled into the Newtons parking lot. He eyed me keenly as I climbed into the truck, but didn't comment.
We drove home first, and the journey seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. Naturally, this didn't help my nerves at all as I felt the creeping influence of the haze beginning to encroach once again.
Of course, my brother noticed my discomfort.
"You don't have to go," he pointed out gently once we were parked. "It's not your responsibility to make sure Jules is alright."
I shook my head. "I need to see her." For so many reasons, most of which I couldn't explain to him, because it would mean revealing the full extent of my unhealthy coping mechanisms.
He recognised that I was digging my heels in, though, and didn't push it. "Alright. Why don't you at least come in and try calling first? No point going down there if they aren't in."
I considered this for a second, then realised I really had nothing to lose at this point and nodded. My cell phone was in my bag and I could have stayed in the truck and used that to call, but I'd been having no luck with it so far; maybe using the landline would make them think it was Charlie, or bypass whatever connection issue was happening.
I followed my brother inside, taking the truck keys from him when he went to put them away and not bothering to remove my shoes or jacket as I went to the phone in the kitchen. He left me to it, going to meet Edythe where she was just entering through the back door, having silently shadowed us home as usual.
It was two rings before the phone was picked up and Bonnie's low, rumbling voice came through. "Hello?"
"Hi, Bonnie," I said, trying to sound calm and casual. "Can I speak to Jules, please?"
The reply was quick and final. "She's not here, Bella."
Of course she wasn't. "Where is she? I need to talk to her."
"She's out with some friends. Don't know when she'll be home." Bonnie's tone was cautious, as if she was afraid of saying too much and was weighing every word before she let it out.
"Which friends?" I pressed. "Quil? Embry?" Sam? I almost added, but thought better of it at the last moment.
Bonnie sounded more comfortable as she answered. "Yeah, it was Embry she left with."
So either Jules had got through to Embry, or Sam had somehow claimed Jules. I knew which one I thought was more likely.
"Will you get her to call me when she gets home?"
"Sure thing, Bella. Take care of yourself." And the line went dead before I could respond.
"See you soon, Bonnie," I muttered as I put the phone down. When I turned, I found Edythe already waiting in the kitchen entrance.
"We're heading out, then?" she said, no hint of censure or judgement; even if she didn't fully approve of this plan, she understood it was what I needed to do.
I nodded firmly. "Let's go."
Beau leaned against the banister in the hall as we made our way back to the door. "Want me to spin a story for Dad?"
I considered it for a moment, then shook my head. "No. I plan on staying until I can talk to her and I don't know how long that'll take. Tell him the truth, and he can be mad at me if he wants."
"He won't be." My brother was supremely confident. "He wants you two to be friends again as much as you do."
"See you later then," I said with a half-hearted wave, leading the way out to the truck.
The drive towards La Push was more tense than I wanted it to be. Approving or not, this trip clearly made Edythe nervous; her eyes were darting around, scanning the surrounding forest fervently. She twisted the handle to open her window and leaned towards the air currents flowing in, and I knew that her nose and ears were busy working as well, picking up even more than she could see. I drove as quickly as the truck would allow, feeling the screaming need to find Jules as soon as possible building with every second. At the same time, I knew I needed to stop at some point to let Edythe out so as not to accidentally take her into Quileute territory. I found myself paying closer attention than I needed to the road ahead, as if there would be some sort of marker or line across it to tell me when we were there.
In reality, the only sign was when Edythe softly spoke up, when we were in the midst of the wooded band between the last houses of Forks and the first ones on the reservation.
"Pull over here, Bella."
Obediently, I turned the wheel and brought the truck to a stop on the thin strip of earth that passed for a shoulder.
"This is as far as you can go?" I asked unnecessarily.
She nodded, her eyes pained. "Please be careful. I will come and get you if you need me, but it will cause more complications than we need right now."
I wanted to tell her I would be fine, yet the words caught in my throat; they felt like a lie, and I couldn't lie to her, not now, not about this. So I just reached out and squeezed her marble-hard hand. She squeezed back gently, then released me, sliding gracefully out of the cab and shutting the door behind her. I watched her in the rear-view mirror as I pulled away; she stayed on the side of the road until I was almost around the next gentle bend, and then disappeared in moments, melting seamlessly into the dark depths of the woods.
The rest of the drive passed in the blink of an eye. Before I knew it, the trees were getting thinner, and I knew I would soon see signs of civilisation. A lump formed in my throat when I saw a figure walking along the side of the road ahead of me, but I quickly realised it wasn't Jules. Too big, for starters, broad as well as tall, with short hair under a baseball cap and something distinctively male about the slow, sloping walk. I was almost certain it was Quil, though he appeared to have grown since I last saw him. All my suspicions span in my head and I gnawed on my lip, debating whether I should stop. But when the roar of the truck's engine made him look up, the haunted expression of worry and hopelessness I saw on his face had me shifting onto the wrong side of the road to pull up next to him.
"Hey Bella," he greeted me in a flat voice when I winched down my window.
"Hi Quil. You okay?" I asked cautiously.
"I'm fine," came the dour reply.
Resisting the urge to tell him he didn't look fine – that felt like the opposite of helpful right now – I instead put on the most open and friendly look I could manage. "Need help getting somewhere? It's still a pretty long walk back to town from here."
"Sure, thanks," he mumbled distractedly, moving around the front of the truck to climb in on the passenger side.
"Where am I heading?" I asked, realising belatedly that I had no idea where he lived.
"My place is on the north side, just behind the store. You can drop me off there."
I managed to hold in my curiosity just long enough to get back on the road before I blurted out, "Have you talked to Jules recently?"
"No," Quil sighed glumly. "Barely seen her, either. I spotted her earlier, with them." He said the last word disgustedly, like he was spitting out something that tasted bad.
"Them?" I echoed, even though I was fairly certain I knew who he meant.
"Sam and his goons," he clarified. "I saw them all hanging out, tried to get her or Embry to stop and talk to me, but they just vanished into the trees and I couldn't follow them. I've been wandering around like an idiot for over an hour yelling their names, only just found the road again."
"Jules told me about Sam," I murmured. "She didn't seem to like him much."
Quil gave a hollow laugh. "Yeah, that's all changed. I don't know what happened, but she's started following him around just like Embry and all the others." He glared out of the windshield, a deep furrow across his brow. "We thought he was leaving the girls alone, but apparently not. If he can still pull people in after everything he's done, then no one's safe – maybe he won't be satisfied until he's got every kid on the res under his thumb."
"Is he still watching you?" I wondered, clarifying off his confused look, "Jules told me about that too, how Sam was… paying more attention to you."
As if I had given him permission to release everything he'd been holding back, the words came tumbling out of him in a fervent rush. "It's the watching that freaks me out. I mean, something like this, you'd expect there would be more pressure, that they'd be trying to convince me all the time. But they just… stare, and it's weird."
"What do you think it is they're doing?" I knew the answer to that already, of course, but it couldn't hurt to get a feel for what the average Quileute was aware of.
Quil shook his head slowly. "I have no idea. It can't be drugs or anything, Jules and Embry would never get involved in any of that. Then again, I thought they would never change their minds about Sam, so maybe I don't know them as well as I thought I did. And if it was something really bad, surely the grown-ups would be more worried, right? But they don't seem to care at all." He sighed heavily. "All I know is, Jules didn't like that whole… cult thing Sam's got going on. She certainly didn't want to be part of it. And if he can get her…" Abruptly, his anger and worry melted into abject terror. "I don't want to be next."
I knew I must look just as frightened as he did; I could only imagine how he must feel, having absolutely no idea what was happening to his friends. Even with my vague suspicions – even with what I knew for certain – what I didn't know was still enough to nearly paralyse me with fear. Poor clueless Quil would have it ten times worse. Yet perhaps the idea of the pack as a cult wasn't so far off base. If Edythe and Beau were right about all the wolves being men, then Sam must have done something else to get Jules on his side. The alternative explanation… I shuddered just thinking about it.
"Have you told your parents any of this?" I asked, as much to distract myself as anything else.
"Nah, they listen to my grandpa too much, and he's on the council." He made a face. "As far as they're concerned, Sam Uley is God's gift to this place."
A long silence stretched between us. I'd slowed down reflexively, and we were passing through La Push proper at little more than a crawl. The village store was just ahead of us, a low boxy wooden building behind it that had to be Quil's house.
"Drop me off here," he said, obviously spotting it, too. "Thanks for the ride."
"No problem." I pulled over to the side of the road. "I'm going to wait for Jules."
"Good luck with that." Quil's voice was too miserable to come across as sarcastic. He climbed out, shutting the door behind him with a bang and continuing the same sad, slumped walk towards his house. I knew I would be thinking about the desperate, sorrowful look on his face for hours. And the fear in his eyes…
After a few seconds of debate, I pulled out my phone and fired off a quick text to Edythe.
Just saw Quil, definitely not in. 5th? J?
It would have been gibberish to anyone else. Honestly, I wasn't sure she would even understand, or pick up the message wherever she was in the woods. But of course, I needn't have worried; a moment later my phone buzzed with a reply.
Good to know. 5th a mystery we don't need to solve, don't go digging.
I could practically hear the warning tone she would have used, and didn't argue, just sending her a last message to say I was heading to Jules' house and putting the truck back in gear. Still, I couldn't help the way my brain began spinning out of control, trying to figure out who that last wolf could be. The problem was, I didn't know enough of the boys on the reservation to even be able to make guesses. Despite Edythe's insistence that we didn't need to know, I was sure the unanswered questions would drive me mad.
The last stretch of driving seemed to go by in seconds. Before I knew it, I was pulling up outside the Blacks' house. No one came running out at the sound of the truck's engine, and I wasn't going to knock on the door – let her come to me for once. I kicked my feet up onto the seat, ready to wait and glad that the windows were down; it was a stuffy, close day, with nothing in the way of airflow now that I wasn't moving. I put my phone on the bench beside my hip, where I would feel it vibrate if Edythe tried to call.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the curtains in the front window twitch back, and when I looked up, Bonnie was there, watching me with an expression that blended displeasure and confusion with just a little resignation. Like she had been expecting me to show up, but hoping I wouldn't. I gave her a flippant wave and a small smile but didn't move. Her frown deepened as she dropped the curtain and disappeared back into the house.
The waiting was beginning to get to me, and I wished I'd brought my journal or something else to entertain me. As it was, when I went digging into my bag, all I found was an old test that I didn't remember taking or being handed back. There were my books, of course, but I knew I wouldn't be able to focus on those right now. Instead, I found a pen and started doodling across the bottom of the paper, leaning on my Science textbook against one propped up knee to keep the drawing from getting too wonky.
I was just finishing a first row of what was going to be a pattern of interlocking diamonds, when someone knocked sharply on my door. I jumped, looking up and expecting to see Bonnie.
"Why are you here, Bella?" Jules asked in a low, dangerous voice.
For a moment, I could only stare. I saw at once what Charlie had meant about barely recognising Jules. The beautiful, shining black river of her long hair was gone, trimmed down to a windswept pixie cut that barely reached her ears. As well as getting somehow impossibly taller, her already impressive musculature had filled out, shown off by the sleeveless shirt she wore and enhanced in that moment by the vice grip she had on the edge of my window. She looked older, harder around the edges, a harshness to her that hadn't been there before.
But it was her face that was the most startling. Gone was my warm, sunny Jules and her smile that could light up the world. Now she was tight, guarded, her eyes stone cold and angry to the point of being accusatory, as if I had done something to offend her just by being here. A darkness had entered Jules, forcing out her innocent joy to make room.
A creeping sense of being watched somehow broke through my shock, and when I glanced behind her, I immediately saw why. Four nearly identical men stood there, shoulder to shoulder, like a phalanx of soldiers against a hostile army. They could easily have been mistaken for actual soldiers; each had black hair cut so short it was nearly buzzed, russet brown skin stretched tight across tense muscles, and eyes that looked black under heavy brows, glaring at me with a hatred that could only be matched once in my memory. I would have had no hope of saying who was who; Paul and Jared, I didn't know, of course, but I couldn't even pick out Embry in the line-up.
Sam, though, I recognised. He stood out from the others, not only because he was a few inches taller, but also because he was the only one who didn't look angry. In fact, his face was completely smooth, calm and confident, as if he knew exactly what was happening and how it would end. It was the face of a man who knew he had absolute control of the situation before him, who believed his victory was already assured and so hardly felt any need to fight. It wasn't an expression that most people would think of as smug or cocky, but that was absolutely the impression it gave off to me.
My blood was abruptly boiling. Strange, violent urges the likes of which I had rarely felt welled up in the pit of my stomach; even knowing it would be a very bad idea, I was struck by a sudden fervent desire to punch him right in his overconfident face. I wished that I could have brought Edythe with me, if nothing more than to act as a visual 'screw you' to the whole lot of them. He wouldn't be so sure of himself if she were here, if he were actually faced with one of the creatures that he hated so intensely. If only she was beside me, vicious and deadly and truly intimidating. If only I had the power she had, that particular set of vampire mannerisms that made anyone exposed to them shudder with a fear they couldn't pinpoint. If only I were one of them…
The thought made my breath catch. That wish, the one I had once fought so hard for, was the ultimate in forbidden notions. That was my brother's future now, but no longer mine – really, it had never been something I could hope to achieve. I would never be able to terrify Sam like that, and even considering it ripped me wide open and stole my breath.
I knew I should go. I had promised Edythe I would leave if the pack showed up. But Jules was here, finally in front of me after what felt like so much more than three weeks of waiting and wondering, and I couldn't let this chance slip by.
Still, my legs were decidedly wobbly as I pushed the door of the truck open – Jules stepping back to let it move – and climbed out to face her squarely. My cell phone fell from the seat as I moved, and I scooped it up reflexively, sliding it into my front pocket with a shaking hand.
"Why are you here?" Jules repeated, each word sharp and clipped.
The flash of irritation shot up my spine at being spoken to like that, like a child that couldn't understand the simplest instructions, and that anger gave me the strength to finally answer her, though the painful aftershocks of remembering my most illicit desire meant I couldn't manage more than a whisper. "I came to see you. I want to talk."
"Well, I'm here." She spread her arms wide, vicious anger the likes of which I had never seen from her painted on every feature of her face. "Go ahead and talk."
I glanced reflexively at Sam, and his veiled smugness once again kicked off a spark of ire that boosted my resolve further. "Perhaps with a bit more privacy?"
All eyes were on Sam now, Jules included. I ground my teeth but held back the angry tirade that wanted to burst out. They were obviously waiting for him to give permission, something that should not be in his power to give. It annoyed me to be so dependent on this man who was doing God only knew what kind of damage to my friend. Even more frustratingly, he didn't seem the least bit bothered by my anger, nodding once and saying something in a language I didn't know but guessed was probably Quileute, before calmly leading the other boys into the house.
Jules finally relaxed a little once they were gone, but not in a good way; her shoulders slumped and her mouth turned down, her expression heart-breaking. Still, there was a guardedness about her as she spoke, her words still short and harsh.
"Well? We're alone now. What do you want?"
Some combination of desperation and anger made me match her waspishness as I replied. "What happened to you, Jules? A few weeks ago, you wanted nothing to do with Sam, and now, what? You're one of the gang, just like that?"
"I was wrong about Sam," she insisted, defensiveness tightening her shoulders again. "This whole thing… it's not what I thought it was."
"So what is it?" I pressed. "What could possibly justify everything you were telling me before?"
Jules shook her head slowly. "I can't explain it to you."
"Try," I pleaded, not afraid to employ a little emotional manipulation if it had even half a hope of breaking through to her. "Maybe I'll understand it better than you think."
"That's not the problem." Was it me, or did she sound almost bitter? "I just… can't."
My eyes narrowed. "Because Sam told you not to, right? Did he make you cut your hair too? Were you at least allowed to go to a salon, or did the rest of them hold you down while he went to work with the scissors?"
"Would you stop talking about him like that?" Jules almost growled, her hands balling into fists, making all the muscles in her arms pop again.
"Like what?" I challenged. "Like he's dangerous? Like the things he does are frightening me? Because not all that long ago, he frightened you. So I'll ask you again, what happened?"
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I knew I should check it, but I had the oddest feeling that Jules would vanish if I took my eyes off her. So I ignored the buzzing – which went on long enough to make me sure it was a call rather than a text – and stared her down, daring her to try and dismiss me.
To my frustration, she didn't even seem to be paying attention to me anymore; she was taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself down, her eyes screwed tight shut. Her clenched fists were shaking now, but I couldn't tell if it was from fear or anger. When she spoke again, it was through gritted teeth.
"Sam is doing everything he can to help me. I'd be a hell of a lot worse without him, believe me."
"Help you with what?" All this avoidance was getting beyond annoying. "From where I'm standing, Jules, there was no problem until Sam. So if there's something else, something you need help with, I don't understand why you're going to him and not me… or one of your other friends."
"You can't help me, Bella. You can't even understand… if I could just…" She growled in frustration and turned, marching away from me up the road.
Oh no you don't, I thought to myself, and hurried after her. My feet squelched loudly as I trudged through the mud; Jules, on the other hand, barely made a sound.
"Okay, fine, Sam isn't to blame!" I yelled as I caught up. "So who is? Who should I be mad at for stealing my best friend?"
She turned to face me, and to my surprise, there was a small smile on her face. It wasn't a happy expression; it was somewhere between wry, scornful and pitying, as if there was some irony to my question that she recognised and I was too stupid to see.
"You really don't want to hear the answer to that," she said, her voice a low, warning rumble.
"Don't tell me what I want," I snapped. "You be honest with me right now, Jules, or I swear to God, I'm taking this to Charlie and we'll see how well whatever line Sam has fed you goes over with a police officer."
Jules' expression shifted again, and now it was something really nasty, saying without words that this would hurt, and she no longer held any regret for that. "Fine. Just remember that you asked for this." She drew herself up to her full, considerable height, looming over me. "If you want someone to blame, you should look at those filthy bloodsuckers that you love so much."
The shock was so acute, I felt abruptly as if I had disconnected from my body. I was aware my eyes and mouth had both popped wide open, but it was as if there was a wall between them and me; my whole physical self felt like a hazy, ephemeral thing, like I was made of cloud at the mercy of the winds.
The tiny part of my brain still capable of rational thought wondered why I was so surprised. Sam and his cronies had been dropping hints that they knew about vampires for ages. If they were the wolf pack – and I was getting more sure of that by the minute – then of course they believed the stories that Jules had once scoffed at. And if she was all in with them, it also stood to reason that they had convinced her to change her tune and believe as well.
What shocked me so much, I realised, was the fact that she was being so direct about it. She could only mean the Cullens, but to the best of my knowledge, even Sam had never come right out and acknowledged what they really were like this. Not to mention the harshness with which the words were delivered, the way 'bloodsucker' came out like a slur. It wasn't how I usually heard them spoken about, and it wasn't how Jules spoke at all. She was still staring me down, that ugly, alien anger foremost in her expression.
"You made me say it," she said icily.
I forced my mouth closed, instinctually dropping into damage control mode, even knowing it was probably too late. "I don't know who you're talking about."
Jules scoffed. "Yes, you do. Do I really have to spell it out for you? I know talking about them upsets you."
"I don't know who you're talking about," I repeated stubbornly; my wooden delivery wasn't convincing anyone, even me, but it was too ingrained in me now – deflect, deny, defend. Keep the secret and keep them safe, no matter what.
"The Cullens." Jules said the name in a tone of disgust, like it was something that tasted nasty and she had to get it out of her mouth. I was pleased to find that it didn't hurt as much as I was expecting, nor was I quite as shocked to hear it as I thought I would be; still, something must have shown in my face, because Jules gave me a tight, grim smile. "See? Even now you can barely stand to hear it."
I shook my head slowly, trying to come up with the right response. It took me a few seconds too long, but I got there in the end, though the dismissive tone I was going for didn't quite land as I tried to catch my breath. "So on top of everything else, you believe all Bonnie's silly stories now? I thought you said that stuff was a sign she was losing it."
Jules didn't rise to my feeble baiting. "She's not so crazy after all. Turns out the old lady has a better grasp on what's going on around here than I thought."
I took a deep breath and crossed my arms, feeling a measure more stable as I braced the edges of the hole in my chest. "Setting aside her superstitions for the minute, I still don't know what it is you think the Cullens," – why oh why did that name still make me wince? – "have actually done. I mean, they've been gone for months, how could they possibly have any influence on what's happening here now?"
"Because they left too late," she spat bitterly, running her hand through her shorn hair; her hand kept going and clenched on thin air, as if she were expecting it to be longer. She made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. "It had all started already, and there was no stopping it."
"Stopping what? Why is it too late? What did they do?"
Abruptly, she got right up in my face, her brows deep furrows and her eyes blazing beneath them, her teeth bared as she practically snarled, "They exist!"
My phone started buzzing again, but I barely noticed it because, for the second time in less than a week, Edward's voice was in my ear.
"Careful, Bella," he whispered, a gentle warning, less frantic than he had been in the meadow but no less intense. "You don't want to push her too far."
I blinked rapidly, the voice on top of everything else threatening to send me into sensory overload. At least the aching in my chest was soothed somewhat, his honey voice like a balm against the raw edges. Since Edward's name had burst through all the walls I'd put up to contain it, I had been thinking it often, usually with painful results. Now, though, the joy of hearing him almost overrode everything else.
Almost, because Jules was still seething and shaking with fury, her tight fists practically vibrating, and that could not be ignored. Yet this wasn't like other times I had heard my delusion. I wasn't afraid of her, even in her anger, and there was no surge of adrenaline coursing through me. It was Jules – there was no danger here.
"Let her calm down," Edward's voice insisted. "Try to move back a little, slowly."
I didn't move, except to shake my head. "You're not making any sense," I said, and it was probably a bad sign that I wasn't sure which one of them I was talking to.
Jules huffed. "Whatever. There's no use in arguing about it anymore, what's done is done and there's no going back now."
Frustration overtook me and I was yelling without consciously choosing to. "No going back from what?"
"Bella!" Edward snapped, irritation and exasperation ringing in his voice. "You're making it worse!"
But Jules seemed oddly unbothered by my explosion. "I'm going home. You should do the same."
I crossed my arms and stomped one foot petulant, quite literally digging my heel into the mud. "Not until you actually tell me something. I came here for answers, and you've given me nothing!"
She ignored me, simply stepping around me and striding back towards her house, her shoulders still quivering.
"I ran into Quil on my way here!" I called out, starting to move after her and surprised by how much ground she had covered in such few steps.
She stopped dead but didn't turn.
"You remember Quil?" I continued, unashamedly goading as I caught up with her again. "One of your best friends, tendency to flirt with older girls, always got that big smile on his face? Well, he's not smiling today, Jules. In fact, he looks totally lost, because he's been completely abandoned and he doesn't understand why. Not to mention he's terrified that he's going to be next."
That finally got a response out of her. She rounded on me, and I thought she would be furious once more. Quite the contrary, though; she looked almost ill and seemed to be talking to herself more than me when she spoke.
"He won't be… he can't be… there shouldn't be any more. This should have ended when they left. Why is it still happening?"
Jules suddenly swung around and slammed her fist into a tree at the side of the road with an angry snarl. It was a sturdy trunk, thicker around than I was and taller than either of us; I expected her to go hopping back, clutching bruised knuckles, but instead the whole tree shook and a sizeable chunk of the bark splintered off with a loud crack. I stumbled back a few steps in shock, staring at the destruction and wondering fleetingly whether my delusion might not have been so unreasonable after all.
For her part, Jules was also surveying the damage with a look of horror in her eyes.
"I have to go," she blurted out, turning again and continuing her march back towards her house.
I shook off my flash of fear and hurried after her. "You're going back to Sam, right?"
"You could see it that way." She was dismissive now, obviously trying to be done with the conversation.
But I wasn't, although keeping up with her took all my energy until we were back at the truck and I finally caught enough breath to call out, "Jules, wait!"
She didn't even turn. "It's over, Bella. Go home."
"Seriously?" I fumed. "What happened to 'Whenever you need me, I'll be there'? You promised you wouldn't let me down, and now…" I was suddenly hit by how hopeless and unfair the whole situation was, and my voice went from raging to pleading. "I need you, Jules. Please, please don't leave me."
Jules finally turned around, and though there was a concerning blankness in her expression, I couldn't shake the feeling that something in her eyes was trying to send me a message. Still, her words were hard and flat as she spoke. "I'm sorry, Bella. I just can't be your friend anymore."
Panic was rising in my throat at the thought of going back to life before Jules. Even with Edythe back – and who knew how long that was really going to last – there was something fundamentally broken in me that only Jules could hold together, that deep, abiding loneliness that she couldn't erase but that only she came close to soothing.
Then a thought from some deep recess of my brain cut through my mounting hysteria with another explanation. After all, Jules had given me more than just a promise of her loyalty that night at the movies. She'd laid her heart out and been rejected. Perhaps that was what had turned her to Sam; she had recognised what I already knew, that friendship with me was a black hole that took and took without giving anything, and she was done putting so much energy into me with no hope of getting what she wanted in return.
"Jules," I choked out. "Look, I'm sorry about before… about not responding properly, after the movie. I don't care if you're gay, it was just… kind of a shock for you to think I was too. Maybe…" Was I desperate enough for this? The answer came quickly – yes, I absolutely was. "Maybe if I had some time… if I tried… maybe I could change how I feel about you. I can't promise… but if you just give me a chance. I can't bear to be away from you, Jules, and I know that's awful of me, but-"
"No, Bella!" Jules cut me off abruptly, shifting in an instant from fury to fear and pain. She took a few steps back towards me and one shaking hand reached out, not quite close enough to touch. "Please, don't think that any of this is your fault. It's all me, I'm the one with the problem. You have nothing to feel responsible for, okay?"
I couldn't help the humourless laugh that burst out of me. "Really? 'It's not you, it's me,' that's what you're going with?"
"I know, I know," she said, her voice getting more hoarse as she clearly struggled with the weight of her emotions. "I know it's a cliché, but it's the truth, Bella. I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore… or anything else."
"You're wrong!" I insisted, unable to keep my fierce desperation and hopelessness from showing as my voice rose to a shout with each word. "You are a good person, Jules, you're the best person I know. Please, please!"
But she was backing away, shaking her head with a look of utter devastation on her face. "I'm sorry," she said again, her words little more than a breath on the wind as she turned and practically sprinted into her house, closing the door firmly behind her.
I stood there, staring at the house, heedless of time passing, until a buzzing sensation against my hip finally broke into my awareness. I was still slow to respond, my brain made sluggish by the weight of different emotions this afternoon had thrown at me. My phone was silent by the time I got it out of my pocket, but it began to ring again almost instantly, and though my fingers were rapidly going numb, I somehow managed to answer it.
"Hello?"
"We had an agreement, Bella." Edythe's voice was stern, yet I knew her well enough to hear the tinge of fear. "This is my fourth call."
"I'm sorry," I whispered, and even that came out wobbling. "I was… talking to Jules."
She sighed heavily. "You're lucky I have enough sense to keep my head in a crisis, or I would have come running to you as soon as the first one went unanswered. But a treaty violation is the last thing we need now, on top of everything else."
"Yeah," I murmured distractedly, still watching the house. There was no twitch of the curtains, not even shadows passing behind them. Surely that many large men in such a small house should show some sign of movement, and I hadn't seen or heard anyone leave yet.
"Come back and meet me, please," Edythe said, still commanding but gentler now. "It smells like it's going to rain soon, and I'd hate for either of us to end up getting drenched."
"Alright," I mumbled, already feeling the haze creeping over me.
As she had predicted, it soon started to rain, droplets beginning to spatter across the windshield as I put the truck in gear and drove back out of La Push on autopilot. The light drizzle quickly turned into a downpour, with wind off the coast bringing the smell of salt and blowing so hard that the water was falling at a sharp angle instead of straight down. It took me too long to realise that the windows were still open and that I was getting soaked after all, but I couldn't find it in me to care. The feelings welling up in me were horribly familiar, taking me back to memories I didn't want to dwell on, not on top of everything else.
It's not the same, a little voice in the back of my head insisted. Not Edward's voice, unfortunately; he had deserted me once again, and this was just my regular internal monologue. But it was right – this wasn't the same, and it wasn't as bad as before. I hadn't lost a love this time, only a friend. Yet at the same time, I knew that Jules was so much more than any other friend I had ever had. Part of me had truly believed that with time, she might have even helped close up the hole in my chest. She had at least been filling it in, protecting those raw cuts and taking away the pain. Now that she was gone too, it was like that temporary stopper had been yanked out, tearing and pulling at all the edges as it went and making them hurt that much more. If this went on much longer, I was going to be completely torn to shreds.
Not the same, I thought to myself. Not the end of the world… but a pretty colossal disaster all the same.
I was so caught up in trying not to fall apart, I almost didn't spot Edythe waiting for me at the side of the road; she had to practically step out in front of me before I stopped, the flash of her white skin standing out against the gathering dark of the forest and finally catching my attention at the very last second. I realised too late that leaving the windows open had left the seats covered in a sheen of water, and cringed with embarrassment as she used her jacket to wipe away the worst off it, then laid the wet coat out over the seat to protect her clothes.
"Sorry," I mumbled, my shoulders curling as I shrunk in on myself.
"I've had worse," was her breezy reply as she set about winding up her window, despite the fact that the damage was already done. She was hardly wet at all, so she had clearly found somewhere to hide from the worst of the storm; I could see spots of water on her shirt and tiny beads of rain clinging to her hair. She looked ethereal, almost magical. Meanwhile, I was sure I resembled a drowned rat, with my hair and shirt fairly plastered to my skin. I closed my window as quickly as I could, avoiding looking at her.
"Did you at least get some answers to the questions you had?" Edythe asked casually after we'd been driving again for a few minutes.
I shrugged one shoulder. "Some. But all the ones I did get just seem to have generated a whole lot more questions." A flash of Jules' cold, confrontational expression forced its way through the protective layer I had already subconsciously put around it, and I couldn't help the way I winced and curled in on myself as pain rippled across the increasingly tattered shreds of my torso. "Can we not talk about it right now, please? I just… need a minute."
Her face, which had been carefully neutral, shifted at once to understanding and sympathy. "Of course. Take as long as you need."
Beau was waiting on the porch when we arrived back at our house. He took one look at me and pulled me into a tight hug.
"We'll fix it," he promised in a gentle murmur, and though I wanted desperately to believe him, I simply couldn't imagine how he could hope to change Jules' mind. As it was, all I could do was press myself in closer to him and let him try to comfort me as he continued talking to Edythe over my head. "I got raised eyebrows from Dad when I told him you'd gone with Bella to La Push, so I said she was dropping you off to check on your house. Not sure he bought it but…"
"No, it's a plausible story," she agreed, her most soothing tones in full effect. "Thank you, my love. It never hurts to lay groundwork for me to build on. Now, let's get inside and get Bella into some dry clothes. Or perhaps a hot shower would be a good start?"
I nodded against Beau's chest and followed blindly as he led me into the house. I hoped we could make it upstairs without getting stopped, but no such luck; we hadn't even reached the stairs when I heard Charlie, shock and the beginning of panic clear in his tone.
"What happened? Is she alright?"
"She'll be fine, Dad," Beau said. "Just got caught in the rain, right, Bell?"
I emerged from my tight huddle with my brother just enough to face Charlie and nod. "Yeah, I left the truck windows open like an idiot. I wasn't really paying attention after-" I cut myself off, but it was too late; my father's eyes narrowed and then a look of understanding spread across his face.
"I take it your talk with Jules didn't go so well?"
"She said she can't be my friend anymore." Even when I said it, it hurt, and the words came out sounding hollow and despairing.
Charlie frowned. "That doesn't sound right. Did she say why?"
"No, not really," I sighed, debating with myself whether I should say more before Edythe reached out to give my shoulder a squeeze. I glanced at her, expecting to see a warning in her eyes, but there was nothing but sympathy, and her nod was encouraging.
"Tell him, Bella," she murmured.
"Tell me what?" Charlie demanded. "Is there something going on with Jules that I don't know about?"
I swallowed hard, squaring my shoulders; I might not be able to scare Sam, and this might still come to nothing, but it also might make life more difficult for him, and after this afternoon, I was all for that. "Jules has been telling me about a gang down on the reservation. A bunch of the boys have been disappearing for days, then coming back to school acting like tough guys and avoiding all their old friends."
"A gang?" Charlie was just as incredulous as I expected, yet there was an edge of genuine concern in his frown. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?"
I shrugged. "The adults on the reservation know about it and they don't seem to care. You're friends with so many of them… I guess I was afraid they'd convince you there was nothing to worry about. Sam has Bonnie's ringing endorsement, at least."
"Sam? You mean Sam Uley?" And there it was. As soon as that name was mentioned, my dad was already relaxing. "Bella, if he's involved, maybe it's not as bad as you think it is. Like you said, Bonnie's got nothing but good things to say about the kid. According to her, he's making a real difference with the young folks on the reservation."
My blood boiled, breaking through all the gathering numbness and the haze that had been threatening the edge of my awareness again without my even noticing. "Jules was terrified of him, Dad!" I thundered, my hands clenching into fists at my sides. "He'd already stolen one of her friends and was eyeing up the other one, and even her mom wouldn't do anything about it! I even offered to let her move in with us because I thought you might give a damn, but apparently not!"
"Hey now, Bell-" Charlie started to say, but I was on a roll and there was no stopping the tirade.
"Now Jules is the one dropping off the face of the Earth for weeks and reappearing mixed up in that mess, following Sam around like a lost puppy!" Potentially literally, I realised, but that would need to wait until later to examine properly. "And okay, she never exactly said it, but I know he's the reason she suddenly thinks we can't be friends, and that's not healthy, no matter what kind of good he might be doing for the tribe. So believe whatever you want to believe, but I know something awful has happened to my friend, and I'm not going to drop it just because every other adult involved seems to have lost their minds!"
There was a long silence as I stared Charlie down, daring him to keep arguing with me. I could feel the sting of tears threatening to spill, unsure if they were from anger or a delayed reaction to Jules' rejection. Either way, I didn't want them falling with an audience.
"Right now, though," I said, unreasonably proud of how calm I sounded. "I am going to take a shower and put some dry clothes on." I turned to Beau. "Don't bother making me anything for dinner, I'm not hungry."
Without waiting for a response, I marched upstairs and straight into the bathroom. I let the hot water wash over me, cranking the temperature scaldingly high as I tried to chase away the cold that seemed to cling to my skin. I didn't let myself think about anything that had happened today, focusing purely on the sensation of the water; if I did cry, the teardrops mixed with the shower spray and washed away before I noticed them.
As I was drying off – still feeling just as frozen as when I started – I heard the low murmur of Charlie's voice through the door. Curious despite myself, I cracked it open, holding my towel tight around me as I listened. At first I thought he might be talking to Beau or Edythe, but the long pause after each sentence quickly told me he was on the phone.
"That doesn't make any sense, Bonnie," he said, his tone almost impressively angry. "I've taken your word on a lot over the years, but the way Bella was talking-"
He cut off abruptly, and I guessed that Bonnie had probably interrupted him. When he spoke again, he was yelling so loud it even made me jump.
"Are you calling my daughter a liar?" There was a short pause, and then he was speaking more quietly, but in a tone that rang with frustration. "God, don't you ever get tired of pushing that line? They've got nothing to do with this… Yes, she is, but it's just a visit, and according to what I've been told, all this started weeks ago… Well, perhaps I do, given that Edythe never hurt Bella how-" Another interruption, then a heavy sigh. "Yes, he did, but I'm not about to remind her of that. Besides, we aren't talking about him, Bon. We're talking about your kid, and how she's not acting like herself apparently because of these boys… Give me another explanation that makes sense, then, I would love to be wrong… Because Jules has been a good friend for Bella, she's got so much better since they started hanging out, and I don't want to see all that progress lost."
There was a longer pause as Bonnie gave him whatever excuses she had cooked up.
Charlie scoffed. "Right. Well, when you next speak to Sam, make sure and let him know we're keeping an eye on him. Any of those boys cause a lick of trouble and they'll have me to answer to, understand?" His Chief Swan voice was in full effect now. "Yeah. Sure. Goodnight, Bonnie."
The phone slammed into the cradle with a concerning smack of hard plastic, and then all I could hear was Charlie grumbling to himself. I took the opportunity to dash as quietly as I could into my bedroom.
So Bonnie was blaming the Cullens, too. Whatever else you might say about the Blacks, at least they were consistent. The question was, could they be right? I thought back to what Edythe had said yesterday about there potentially being some environmental trigger that meant the wolves didn't show up in every generation. Could vampires be that trigger?
It was something to consider, and maybe something to bring up later. But right now, I was too tired and too fractured to focus my thoughts enough to get to an answer. The mysteries of the supernatural world would have to wait for another day.
For now, I got into my pyjamas and crawled under the covers, pulling the comforter over my head so I was enveloped in a comforting darkness. The aches that had been gnawing at me from all the perforations in my chest were suddenly overwhelming; whether I was too tired to resist them or simply no longer cared, I couldn't tell. Either way, I saw no reason not to cheat just a bit. I closed my eyes and called up the echoes of Edward's voice in my mind this afternoon. It wasn't a real memory, of course – that would have been too painful – but it was enough to have tears streaming silently down my cheeks as I finally fell asleep.
The dream I found myself in was both new and old at the same time.
New, because the forest I was moving through was no longer dark and gloomy, but shot through with bright beams of sunshine, the leaves glowing pale green against its light and rustling softly in a breeze that smelled of ocean spray. The sound of water crashing on rocks came from somewhere off to my right, making me think I might be somewhere near the cliffs at La Push. Most strange of all, I wasn't running tonight, only walking, almost wandering through the trees, with none of the usual sense of urgency.
But it didn't take long for me to realise that this was an old dream, one I'd had many, many months ago, practically in another lifetime. If the setting hadn't been enough, the feeling of a warm hand closing around my wrist pushed my sense of déjà vu into overdrive. I knew exactly what I would see as I turned around; Jules, her eyes wild with fear, yanking hard on my arm as she tried to pull me away from the sunlight. This was the younger Jules, the Jules from a year ago, her features still childlike and her hair a curtain of black silk.
"Jules, what's wrong?" I heard myself say, feeling abruptly disconnected from everything in the dream as a foreboding sensation began to build in my gut.
"Run, Bella!" she gasped out. "Come on, we have to run!"
Just like before, I heard my brother calling, but the words weren't clear enough for me to make out; it was as if I had suddenly plunged into deep water, and my ears were too clogged to pick up anything properly. It didn't matter anyway – I remembered what was coming next. Edward would be here soon, beautiful and shining and deadly, his teeth wickedly sharp and his beckoning hand hopelessly inviting. But first…
Jules dropped my wrist as she convulsed violently. She fell heavily to her knees, her shoulders hunching over and her hair falling to cover her face. Suddenly, the dream took a turn from what I was expecting. Instead of a change as fast as a blink, I watched in horror as that beautiful black curtain retreated into the short haircut she was sporting now, and Jules' entire form bulged and stretched into the lanky, muscular young woman she had become in the last few months. But it didn't stop there; she kept growing, the muscles thickening and twisting, her hands and feet warping horribly and her clothes tearing, revealing dark hair creeping across her back. No, not hair – fur, red-brown fur that quickly covered every inch of her russet skin, blending into the black hair on her head and swallowing it up. I backed away slowly as the creature stood tall on its four powerful legs, the head that was now on a level with mine rising to reveal a long, lupine muzzle.
This wasn't the wolf from the old dream, but it was still familiar to me. This was the huge monster that I had stood barely two feet away from in the meadow. Now it gazed at me with eyes full of unmistakable intelligence, almost pleading for understanding. If I could isolate just those eyes, I could have still been looking at Jules. But there was no ignoring the fur, the claws… the teeth…
I woke screaming louder than I had in weeks.
The screams quickly turned into hysterics, my breath catching sharply in my throat as panic welled up, refusing to be squashed even as I buried my face in my pillow and tried to muffle it before I woke the boys. My cheeks were still soaked, and I couldn't tell whether I had been crying while I slept or had started again now. I twisted my head back and forth, gripping the fabric beneath me as I tried desperately to stop shaking.
My bedroom door almost slammed open, and I let out another frightened shriek, scrambling back against my headboard.
"It's okay, it's okay," Beau said hurriedly, his hands held out defensively. "It's just me, you're okay."
A choked sob broke free as I crumpled into a ball again. I dimly heard him say something to someone else before the door clicked shut and his arms were around me. It took a few minutes of soothing words that I didn't fully hear before I finally calmed down enough to settle my breathing and return the hug.
"There now," Beau murmured, kissing the top of my head. "You're alright. Just a dream, right?"
I nodded against his chest, not wanting to get into it. "Sorry for waking you."
"It's okay. I wasn't really sleeping, anyway."
I frowned a little at that; my mind was still cloudy with sleep, and I felt like there was something I was missing. Then I abruptly realised that we were alone in my room. Pulling away, I looked around, the panic rising again. "Where's Edythe?"
"She went out." He didn't seem entirely happy about this, his own frown creasing his forehead.
"Out?" I echoed.
He nodded. "Before you guys got home, Charlie told me there's another couple gone missing off the trails out by the lake. He said there were tracks… and blood."
I knew what he was getting at immediately. "Laurent?"
"Or Victoria." His expression was grim. "Worse case scenario, both. Edythe went to go check it out, see if she could pick up any trails and maybe chase them off."
My eyes widened, and a lump formed in my throat in an instant. "She can't! She can't fight both of them, not on her own."
"I know, I know." My brother pulled me back into a tight hug. "I tried to tell her, but-" He broke off abruptly, his head whipping towards the window. "Did you hear that?"
I was still groggy from waking up so suddenly and so focused on the horrible thought of Edythe trying to fight off both the Nomads at once that I truly hadn't heard anything. But a moment later, even I couldn't miss the sound of something sharp scraping against the window, like fingernails grating their way down a chalkboard.
Beau and I locked eyes, matching expressions of horror on our faces. No words needed to be said; we both knew what was happening.
My miraculous reprieve was over – Death had arrived.