Well hi there! It has been a little bit, hasn't it?

As readers of No Reward Without Risk will already know, I had some issues with writer's block and general crappy mental health that held me up with working on this story. I took a few months away to finish off No Reward, but I'm back to working on this now and hoping that the summer break from my day job teaching tiny humans will give me a bit more time to make progress. I'd like to thank everyone who is sticking with me on this project for your continued patience and all your lovely reviews, it really brightens my day whenever I see I have a new one.

Enough from me - let's get to some wolf drama!

Chapter 13: Killer

We left as soon as Beau was ready. Edythe drove, and I slid into the back seat of her car before anyone could argue. I saw my brother shooting me anxious glances every few seconds, but I ignored him; I'd realised the only way not to fall into hysterics over all of this was just to not think about it, so I kept my focus on the trees passing outside the window.

We headed out along the highway as if we were going to La Push, but turned off down a smaller side road before we got anywhere close to the reservation. When we stopped, it was in a similar spot to the trailhead where we started from to get to the meadow, except that this was just a dead end, nowhere to go and no apparent purpose to it being here. There was another car already parked, an older sedan that looked like it had weathered one too many Forks winters. Beau and I waited while Edythe got her bearings, then followed dutifully behind as she led the way through the trees into the deep forest.

We didn't have to go far before we emerged into a clearing, smaller and rougher than the meadow, and far less picturesque. It was hardly even a clearing at all, more of a gap between trees, and it was made even smaller by the fact that it was already half full of people.

Sam was the first to draw my eye, his broad, imposing figure making him impossible to ignore. Just behind him was one of the burly boys, either Jared or Paul if I had to guess, arms crossed and face impassive. I wasn't sure whether I was relieved or disappointed that Jules wasn't there; I'd been both hoping I could catch her for a minute to talk and afraid of what I might say if I let my emotions get the best of me again. Instead, one of the massive wolves, the grey one with the darker patches on its back, was standing on the other side of Sam, flanking him. More surprising than the sight of that monster, though, was the fourth figure in the group.

Bonnie sat calm and collected in her wheelchair, her posture making me think of a queen sitting on her throne. Her dark eyes were hard as stone as they surveyed Edythe, but her composure cracked very slightly when she saw Beau and I behind her.

"This isn't what was agreed, vampire," she said, her rumbling voice full of censure and reprimand. "They have no part in this."

Edythe was unfazed; she was all vampire again, moving too smoothly and projecting the complete confidence that came from knowing you were indestructible. "If you truly believe that, Mrs Black, you don't know the Swans very well. More pertinently, you have vastly misunderstood the situation if you think that they can be left out of it. They have been thoroughly embroiled in our world ever since your daughter clued them in to its existence."

The dig was subtle but undeniable; Bonnie looked annoyed at being called out, her hands gripping the arms of her chair hard.

"Enlighten me, then," she gritted out through her teeth. "What is it that I don't understand?"

To my surprise, Edythe turned to me, her expression softening from the detached nonchalance she had been affecting to a gentle, encouraging smile. "Would you like to tell the story, Bella, or shall I?"

I hadn't been expecting to do any talking, and I wasn't entirely sure that I could. But then I saw the look on Sam's face, shifting between disgust and pity as his eyes flickered from Edythe to me and back again, and I felt my famous stubborn streak rising. I was filled with a need to take that look off his face – to prove that I was as brave as Edythe seemed to think I was.

So I took a deep breath, swallowed hard to coat my dry throat, and stepped up so I was standing next to Edythe, my back as straight as I could make it and hoping I looked more confident than I felt.

"Last March," I began, and felt a small thrill of success when my voice came out clearly. "Three nomadic vampires came to Forks. The Cullens were out in the woods, playing a game, and we were with them. The nomads heard the noise and came to see what was going on. Laurent was one of them."

"The leech with the dreads?" the second boy interrupted.

Something in his tone irritated me, and I couldn't help glaring at him. "Yes, him. Did you manage to catch him in the end?"

He snorted, either not noticing or not caring about the air of condescension I had been trying to project. "Of course we did. One of them against five of us – he never stood a chance. It was almost too easy, no fun at all."

Sam cut in then, authority in his voice that was undeniable and which seemed to make the boy shrink back, losing some of his bravado, even though the words weren't directed at him. "You said there were three. What about the other two?"

I squared my shoulders, determined not to be cowed by this man. Once again, I thought of my wish to scare him the other day; I still couldn't hope to do that, but I wouldn't let him talk down to me, either. It wasn't often that I was the expert on something, not in the supernatural world. But this story, I knew better than anyone else. This story was mine.

"The other two were called James and Victoria. They stayed back and let Laurent do the talking, but James was really the leader. At first none of them realised we were human, until the wind shifted and James caught my scent." I had to pause and take a deep breath, wrestling with the memories as I was forced to recall them, but not willing to let them make me fall apart in front of these people. "I guess I smell pretty good, because he decided I would be his next meal. He liked to hunt, to pick one person and follow them, and according to Laurent, it was impossible to make him just give up. So we left and went to Phoenix, while… some of the Cullens tried to catch him." I'd been about to say Edward's name, but stopped at the last second; I might be ready to say it, but I knew I would still flinch, and I wasn't willing to show that kind of weakness here.

Bonnie's eyes were narrowed. "You got hurt down in Phoenix."

"I did." I nodded. "Despite everything we tried, he found out where I was. Victoria stayed here in town to gather information for him – she broke into the school and got my old address from the records. James tricked me into thinking he had my mother and convinced me to go to him alone. If the Cullens hadn't come after me… well, let's just say Charlie would have got a very different phone call."

I was pleased to see all of them shudder just a bit; even the wolf looked discomforted. I didn't have Jules' skill for stories, but there was a perverse satisfaction in making them feel so unsettled.

"This James creature is dead, then?" Sam asked in an insistent tone that said this was what he really wanted to know.

"Yes," Edythe confirmed, taking back the lead; she glanced at me for approval, which I happily gave with a small nod. "My siblings made sure of it. Unfortunately, that leaves us with our current predicament. I'm not sure how familiar you are with the mating bond in our kind?"

"We know you don't like it when we kill them," the other boy quipped. The wolf made a sound almost like a laugh until Sam shot a look at it that made it cut off abruptly.

Edythe's eyes tightened slightly, but she went on as if the interruption had been nothing more than a polite acknowledgement that yes, they did know how mates worked. "James and Victoria were mates, and she is naturally very upset by his passing. The usual revenge would be to go after the vampire that had actually done the killing, but Victoria is slippery and cowardly and doesn't dare to face us head-on by herself. Instead, at least according to what Laurent was telling us before you chased him off, she intends to kill Bella, to take her from us and give us a taste of what Victoria herself has been feeling since she lost James."

"Laurent was supposed to scope out the place for her." Beau, obviously feeling left out, stepped forward to join us, an unbroken, united line. "He said she wanted him to see if the Cullens were still here, to get a sense of how well protected Bella is. Hopefully, if you guys took care of him, he never managed to report back, but based on the fact that these weird disappearances keep happening, we think she's given up on sending scouts and come to check herself."

"The female… Victoria," Sam said slowly, the name coming out awkwardly, like it wasn't what he wanted to refer to her by. "She wouldn't happen to have red hair, would she?"

I went cold, as if I had suddenly plunged into an ice bath. I was dimly aware of a strange choking sound coming out of my throat, and Edythe's hand closing reassuringly around mine.

My brother found his voice before I did, all the horror I felt echoed in his tone. "You've seen her?"

Sam nodded grimly. "Yes. That's the only reason we aren't all here. The others are patrolling in case she comes back."

"We had assumed she was the other one's mate," Bonnie added. "We didn't know she had another intention besides vengeance for his death."

"But now it makes sense why she keeps running away," Sam continued. "We couldn't understand why she wouldn't face us, if it was payback she was after."

"Because she doesn't want to fight you," Edythe agreed gravely. "She's trying to go through you, to get to town and find Bella herself."

She dropped my hand and took another step forward; the two men looked even more tense and the wolf's hackles rose, but Edythe didn't seem to notice or care.

"Tell me everything," she demanded, her voice ringing with authority.

Sam and the second man began explaining their run-ins with Victoria, but I couldn't listen anymore. A ringing, roaring sound had been building in my ears, gradually getting louder as I had to truly face the fact that Victoria was no longer a vague possible threat, but a very real and present one. Missing hikers and hints of a scent were one thing; this was absolute, concrete, unequivocal proof that she was here, second only to seeing her with my own eyes. I couldn't think, couldn't process what that meant, could only stand there, barely holding myself together and fighting to stay upright as the world moved on around me.

At some point, warm, solid arms wrapped around me and I was pulled securely into my brother's chest. I clung to him as if my life depended on it. Five minutes ago, I would have been annoyed to be showing this kind of weakness in front of the Quileutes; now I didn't care. I needed him too badly.

His voice broke through the roaring, though he spoke softly. "It's going to be okay, sis. No one will let her hurt you."

I shook my head, my forehead scraping back and forth against his jacket. The pinch of discomfort brought me another step back to reality, and I could finally tune back in to the conversation happening across the clearing.

"Absolutely not," Bonnie was saying; when I turned my head slightly to peek at them, she had a militant look on her face. "The last thing we need here right now is more vampires."

"I don't see how the movements of my family are any of your business," Edythe argued. "If they choose to return, what right do you have to deny them?"

"The right to protect my people," Bonnie shot back. She gestured sharply to the giant wolf behind her. "This has happened to our boys, to my daughter, because of your presence here. It is a heritage we are proud of, but one that comes with its own struggles. The more of you are here, the more of our young people will be drawn in, and I am not interested in exposing them to a life-altering physical and psychological upheaval for what would apparently be a fleeting visit by the rest of your… group. If they planned to make a permanent return, then that would be another matter, and a conversation I would need to have with your mother."

It was one of the longest speeches I had ever heard Bonnie make; like Charlie, she was taciturn and quiet by nature, so to hear her talk so much was unusual and a little disconcerting. This was a new side of her, and the way she carried herself and the authority with which she spoke made it very easy to believe that she was the granddaughter of a great chief.

Edythe seemed like she wanted to keep arguing, but relented with a small sigh. "Alright. I can't say I entirely understand, but you have made your wishes plain, and I can see that you will not be dissuaded. That being the case, there is quite a bit more for us to discuss now."

"Such as?" Bonnie said, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Well, for a start, some flexibility in the boundary line. It is possible I may need to pass onto your land and I should like to be able to do so safely."

"You want us to give you free rein to violate the treaty?" Sam asked, his calm, controlled image slipping as anger and disgust crept into his voice.

"Of course not," Edythe scoffed, her hands going to her hips, and a frustrated expression on her face. "I'm simply pointing out that Victoria has to be the priority now, and if I get on her tail and she should happen to cross onto your land, I would very much like assurance that I can follow her without the risk of getting my head torn off."

"We can cover our land." Sam was decided on this, his muscled arms flexing menacingly. "If she crosses the line, we will get her."

"And if you aren't around?" Edythe challenged. "You are all still basically human, are you not? You have to eat and sleep and you can't run forever. And even if all five of you were out at the same time, you have a lot of ground to cover, and a lot of directions Victoria could come from. Can you guarantee that any time and any place that she may enter your territory, you will be there to meet her?"

Even I could read his face well enough to see that the answer was no.

Edythe saw it too, and she smiled with somewhat smug satisfaction. "Precisely. Whatever we do, if we each try to fight this on our own, then there are going to be gaps, gaps that Victoria is bound to find and exploit. But if we work together, perhaps we can close a few of them, maybe even enough to catch her. And one of the best ways that I can do that is to be able to pass onto your land if I need to."

There was a long moment of silence as Bonnie and Sam considered her proposal; the two of them exchanged a few meaningful glances but didn't speak. I stepped out of Beau's embrace, though he kept an arm securely around my shoulders and I let him, sensing that he needed the comfort as much as I did right now.

"Very well," Bonnie finally said. "On the understanding that this is a temporary privilege, afforded only to you and only to be exercised in moments of absolute necessity."

"Of course." Edythe's shoulders relaxed; it was a mark of either my distress or her composure that I hadn't even noticed her tensing up. "Thank you."

"You say we need to cover each other's… gaps." Sam looked like it was painful for him to admit that it was possible for him to have any such weakness, and ploughed ahead quickly. "So, how do we patch up yours?"

There was a challenge in his tone, as if he were expecting her to say she didn't have any, but she simply nodded. "Naturally, this agreement goes both ways. My biggest issue so far is that I have not been able to go too far from Bella and Beau. Having no idea where Victoria might be, any time I leave them alone may be the moment she finds her opening. If I could be assured that someone else is watching out for them, then I would have greater freedom to track her, chase her, and take care of other matters that current circumstances don't allow me to pursue."

"Other matters?" the boy behind Sam sneered; his bad attitude was making me more and more convinced that this was Paul the hothead. "You mean feeding, right? You want us to babysit the twins so you can go rip a few throats out in the next town over?"

Beau dropped his hold on me as he took a half-step forward, his expression thunderous. But Edythe was unperturbed, just tutting and rolling her eyes. "Now, I'm certain you've been taught better than that. I do my hunting in the national park, largely deer and elk. And I haven't been so sloppy as to 'rip throats out' since my newborn days."

She spoke in the sort of tone one might use with a child who had said something foolishly and vaguely amusing, as if she were just restraining herself from laughing. Probably Paul heard it just as well as I did and bristled, his shoulders beginning to vibrate as he bared his teeth. But then Sam barked out a sharp word in Quileute, and the other boy backed off, though his fists remained clenched and he was seething quietly.

"To your point," Edythe went on as if the exchange hadn't happened, but the derision had gone out of her voice. "Yes, I will need to hunt soon if I am to keep my strength up, and I would certainly appreciate your help keeping Beau and Bella protected during that time."

"Of course," Bonnie agreed. "Keeping the Swans safe has always been a concern of ours. This threat is no different."

The dig was just as obvious as Edythe's had been, but she didn't rise to it the way her target had. "Good. We are aligned in this, at least."

Bonnie turned to Beau and I then, which at least proved that they all hadn't completely forgotten about us. Her expression softened instantly, despite the fact that Beau was still looking militant. "You two don't mind spending a bit of extra time down on the reservation with us?"

"Fine by me," I said, feeling unreasonably proud of myself for actually being able to speak, even though it came out as little more than a scratchy whisper.

"Yeah," Beau agreed, his voice stronger but far more guarded than mine. "It'll be nice to hang out with Jules again. We've missed her."

Something about his comment felt pointed, and Bonnie's eyes tightened ever so slightly. Her tone remained smooth and calm, though. "Alright then. Would this afternoon be too soon for a trial run?"

"Not at all," Edythe said, equally composed. "The sooner I can get on Victoria's trail, the better."

"We're alright with that, too," Beau chimed in, refusing to be forgotten or ignored again. I didn't trust my voice not to waver if I tried to back him up, so I just nodded once as firmly as I could manage.

Bonnie gave a small, still tight smile. "Good. Stop by our place any time, then." It was such a casual invitation, completely at odds with the conversation that had come before, like hearing a laugh track in the middle of a tragic monologue; I felt weirdly off-balance, my already fragile composure shaken.

"Well, that would seem to be that," Edythe commented blithely, as if she hadn't just single-handedly engineered an addendum to a decades-old peace treaty with a pack of giant dogs. "I'm glad we could settle things to everyone's satisfaction. We'll keep in touch, of course."

All the Quileutes, including the huge grey wolf, nodded in close to unison. It was creepy and made me think of cults again. I shook off the thought quickly.

Sam made a small gesture with his hand, and the wolf slowly backed up into the trees behind it, its sharp eyes watching Edythe closely all the way. She mirrored his movements, moving with far more grace than the lumbering beast, turning only when she came level with us and winding her fingers through Beau's.

"Time to go," she murmured, pulling gently on his hand.

My brother nodded tersely once, turning his back firmly on Bonnie and the remaining men as he freed his hand, only to throw his arm around her shoulders. "Sure. Come on, Bell."

I moved to follow them, but stopped after only a few steps. There was a nagging feeling that I'd forgotten something important drumming on the inside of my skull, a worry that twisted my stomach into some fairly impressive knots.

Beau looked back when he realised I wasn't with him, a confused and concerned eyebrow raised at me. "You okay? Come on, I want to leave a note for Charlie in case he gets home before we do later."

The mention of Charlie put the pieces together, and I swivelled abruptly on my heel. "Sam, wait!"

All three Quileutes looked startled by my sudden shout; they seemed to be getting ready to pick up Bonnie's chair to carry it over the uneven ground, but Sam stood up straight and faced me squarely. "What is it, Bella?"

"The people in town," I explained hurriedly, trying to keep my rising panic at bay. "All the witnesses from the hikers and tourists… they've only seen you guys, they think you're responsible. There are rangers and hunters out in the woods… Charlie's out there, looking for you."

Sam was annoyingly unbothered by this. "We know about all that. Of course, we'll make sure the vampire doesn't get to your father, or any of the others."

I shook my head. "Thank you, but that's not exactly what I was getting at. They have guns, Sam, and they're going to be shooting them at you. The last thing I want is for anyone else to get hurt, so just… don't give them anything to aim at, okay?"

His face stayed mostly smooth, but I thought I saw the tiniest flicker of surprise in his eyes. He spoke stiffly, almost like he was embarrassed. "Of course. Thank you for your… concern."

The knot in my stomach had eased now that I had given my warning – not entirely, of course, but enough that I could comfortably turn and continue walking towards the treeline. Beau and Edythe fell into step beside me, none of us saying a word until we got back to the Impala.

Edythe caught my arm gently as we were about to get in. "That was very good of you, warning them like that. I'm ashamed to say I would not have been so noble."

I shrugged, avoiding her gaze; she looked far too impressed with me for what had really been a selfish act. "Like I said, no one deserves to get hurt because of me. Not Sam, and definitely not Jules."

She gave me a look that I couldn't quite interpret, but let me get into the backseat without further comment.

"So, what didn't we hear?" Beau asked once we were back on the road towards town.

"Well, they all wanted me dead, of course," Edythe replied, far more flippantly than a statement like that ought to be said. "But other than that, you didn't miss much. All the desires they expressed were genuine – they want to protect you, their people, the town. They're as keen as we are to see Victoria dealt with, and quickly. If nothing else, we can trust them to be on board with destroying her."

Beau grunted. "But how many of them want to actually solve the problem, and how many just want to kill whatever vampires they come across? Do you really think they'll let you go onto their land to chase her, or are they going to turn around and start hunting you as soon as she's dead?"

Edythe reached across and took hold of his hand. "I won't test their resolve unless I absolutely have to, my love. Getting torn to shreds by adolescent puppies on steroids isn't the end I have in mind for my story."

Beau shuddered. "Please don't. I can't even think about…" He cut off with a choking sound, his fingers tightening almost desperately around hers.

She said nothing, just pulled their joined hands up so she could kiss the back of his gently.

That was the point that I had to look away. The jealousy rose up again, and I squashed it down viciously once more. But it was harder to do this time, and the feeling lingered, festering, stinging sharply every time my eyes drifted over to see their fingers still twined together on the centre console. I felt the urge to sink back into the haze, and that frightened me; for it to show up randomly on its own was one thing, but actively seeking it out again was a different kind of concerning. When we got home, I hurried out of the car, ignoring their confused looks as I practically ran up the porch steps. My fingers groped for the key under the eave, my chest tightening when I couldn't find it. Too late, a flash of clarity hit and I remembered Beau was now keeping that key with him; sure enough, he had it in his hand as he and Edythe came up the drive. He waved it at me, one eyebrow raised. I just stepped back out of his way, my eyes dropping to my shoes and my arms wrapped around my midsection. Hopefully he would just think I was cold, and not desperately trying to hold myself together as envy and memory battled each other to see which could tear my already tattered insides completely to shreds.

"Give me five minutes to write that note, then we'll head out," Beau said, making a beeline for his room without even taking his shoes off. I found myself watching his steps intently, certain he was going to track mud all over the floor. Yet there wasn't a mark left in his wake, and I was robbed of the chance to distract myself by complaining at him. My eyes went to my own feet, which felt frozen to the floor; I didn't have an excuse to go to my room and fall apart like I really wanted to, so I was stuck to that spot in the hall with Edythe watching me closely.

"I won't ask if you're alright," she murmured after a minute of silence. "Because I think I know the answer. So I will only say that as long as I have anything to say about it, you are going to be perfectly safe. I will not allow Victoria to hurt you or your family."

I nodded numbly, unable to find the words to remind her that she couldn't be everywhere all at once.

Beau reappeared then, though I was sure it had been much less than five minutes, a torn-out notebook page in his hand. He ducked into the kitchen to leave his note on the table, then returned with a sunny smile on his face that didn't quite touch his eyes. "Alright, I'm ready. Guess we're going to take the truck this time?"

"I think that would be best, yes," Edythe agreed, still eying me warily. "Not that I have any problem with you driving my car, my love, but the wolves may not take kindly to the smell."

"Smell?" He gave her a confused look. "Your car doesn't smell."

"To them it will," she explained. "Just as they reek of wet dog to me." Her nose wrinkled in disgust for a moment, then her face went smooth again. "It will be bad enough with how much of my scent is all over you. We don't need to provoke them further."

"Do you think they're really that hostile?" Beau was frowning now, worry practically radiating from him. "Like, is this actually going to work, or are they going to get too distracted with you?"

Edythe took her time to answer, thinking carefully and speaking slowly. "I do believe that they are dedicated to fighting off Victoria. I know they have never had a congenial relationship with any vampire before, but I am not sure of what their exact interactions have been. Obviously my family has done nothing to them, but that doesn't mean they will not hold us accountable for what others have done, justly or otherwise. There is a natural revulsion that seems to exist between us, separate from any choice we make about how to behave towards each other. The scent issues are only part of that. So I suppose what I am trying to say is that while we may all wish to cooperate, nature may make it difficult."

It wasn't a cheerful prospect, but it was honest, and that was an odd kind of comfort in that.

There was no real reason to hang around the house any longer, so we headed out to the truck without another word. Beau went for the driver's side immediately, and although I tried to hang back and let Edythe take the middle next to him, she waved me in ahead of her. So I ended up wedged between the two of them, feeling like nothing so much as a barrier keeping them apart. It was a familiar sensation; how many times now had they been forced to separate because of me? The logical part of my brain reminded me that I was being silly, that they were hardly going to suffer from being at either end of a bench seat, that Edythe was just going to patrol for a few hours and would most likely be back before dinner. Even so, the symbolism of our seating arrangement wasn't lost on me.

I didn't recognise the spot where Edythe told Beau to pull over, though it must have been about the same place I'd let her out… God, was it only yesterday? It felt like I'd lived a lifetime in the last twenty-four hours.

Both of them got out, meeting at the front of the truck to say their farewells while I sat awkwardly in the cab. The low simmering panic hadn't abated at all, and it felt as if I needed to keep all my focus on forcing it into submission and stopping myself from having a complete meltdown. Horrible pictures kept flashing through my head, each worse than the last: some faceless hunter or ranger lying broken and bleeding with their throat opened; one of the gigantic wolves rolling in pain from a bullet wound to the leg; Victoria stalking up behind Charlie, her face twisted into a vicious smile of anticipation and glee; the same look, but now directed toward Edythe as they grappled with each other. After avoiding it earlier, now I wanted to sink into the numbness again, anything to get away from the awful visions, but it seemed that ever-looming haze had suddenly abandoned me; no matter how or where I reached, I couldn't find it, and I was left having to push the pictures away by myself.

I wasn't very successful.

I was so busy wrestling with the horrors in my mind that I jumped when Beau re-joined me in the cab. Edythe had disappeared, and I couldn't tell whether that made me feel better or worse. My brother's worried frown didn't help matters, though it morphed quickly into a look of shock and then concern.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said quickly, grabbing hold of my hands and squeezing them tightly. "It's going to be fine, Bell. We're okay, we're safe. Take a deep breath for me, come on." He breathed in through his nose and out of his mouth slowly, the movement exaggerated. "Come on, sis, breathe with me."

I frowned, confused by his suddenly insistent tone. But when I tried to ask him what was wrong, I realised that I'd started hyperventilating without noticing; my breathing was hitching, and the air kept getting stuck in my throat. I refocused on Beau, doing my best to match his slow inhales and exhales. It took longer than I would have liked to get myself under control, but my brother showed no sign of impatience, continuing his gentle coaxing until I was, if not calm, at least no longer at risk of passing out.

"There you go," he murmured soothingly, forcing a small smile. "That's better, isn't it?"

"Not really," I choked out.

Beau sighed, his attempt at a cheerful expression slipping away. "Yeah, stupid question. I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "Not your fault."

"It's not yours either." He squeezed my hands tightly, his eyes locked on mine. "None of this is on you, Bella."

"It will be," I whispered bleakly. "If Victoria gets through… if anyone gets hurt…"

"Edythe won't let that happen," he insisted, his confidence unshakable. "And she seems pretty sure the Quileutes are on board too. We needed more people and we've got them. Now Edythe can go out further, the wolves are in the hunt too, plus they'll watch out for Dad and the others in the woods, and there's always going to be someone with us – everybody's covered."

I shook my head hard. "We might be, but they aren't. Edythe and Jules and all the rest of them are going out there looking for her. Who's protecting them?"

"They'll protect each other." Beau didn't seem quite as certain of this; he put on a good show, but I could see the edge of doubt in his eyes, and he hurried on as if trying to distract me from it. "Look, I know it's hard, but we have to have a little faith, okay? You're going to drive yourself crazy worrying about everyone like this."

"Too late," I muttered.

My brother sighed in defeat. "Let's get to Jules' house. Maybe she'll have a better time convincing you. Besides, Edythe didn't want us hanging around too long without her."

He threw the truck into gear roughly, his irritation plain to see. I shifted across to the far seat as he pulled back onto the road, giving him some space. The rest of the drive passed in tense silence. Beau might have brought me down from a full-blown panic attack, but he hadn't banished the thoughts that had inspired it, and flashes of horror kept bursting across the inside of my eyelids every time I so much as blinked. The trees passing outside seemed dark and ominous, though there was still plenty of light out. I was struck by the sheer density of tree trunks; anything could hide in there, ready to spring out at any moment. My nerves were stretched tight as a rubber band on the verge of snapping, and that became a new fear – that at some point I would simply come apart, lose my admittedly tenuous hold on composure and collapse into a gibbering heap.

Even arriving at the familiar little red house did almost nothing to calm my anxieties. I was trailing behind Beau, forcing myself to keep my breathing slow and even so that I wouldn't look like a total head case to Bonnie. Although, depending on how intensely she'd been focused on talking to Edythe earlier, she'd already seen me freak out once today; did it particularly matter if it happened again? Still, I hung back from the door as my brother knocked, only barely able to hear as Bonnie's raspy voice called, "Come in!"

She was in her chair over to the side of the main room that comprised the kitchen, a plate on her lap holding a sandwich and a packet of chips; the TV was on, and she'd clearly been on her way to watch it while eating her lunch. The sight of the food made me abruptly realise how long it had been since I'd had a proper meal; I didn't often pay attention to what I was eating these days, just taking my turn to cook as normal and trusting in my brother to make sure I didn't starve in the meantime. But apparently even I couldn't ignore that fact that the granola bar this morning was all I'd had to eat since lunch at school yesterday. A sharp twist of hunger turned my stomach, adding another layer to the anxious knots.

In a complete counterpoint to the grim look she'd worn last time we saw her, Bonnie smiled welcomingly. "Well hi there, kids. Wasn't expecting you quite so soon, but I'm glad you're here."

Beau looked chagrined. "Should we have called ahead?"

"Yeah, we didn't mean to interrupt your meal," I added.

She waved off our concerns. "No, no, it's no trouble at all. Really, I'd be glad of the company until Jules gets back from her patrol. Either of you hungry?"

"I could eat," Beau agreed. "Bell?"

I nodded more fervently than I would have thought myself capable of.

"Well then, just help yourselves to whatever you want from the kitchen. Although…" Bonnie chuckled. "I can't guarantee what you'll find. Jules has developed quite an appetite recently."

She got herself situated in her usual spot at the end of the tiny sofa as my brother went into the kitchen to start foraging. I hovered awkwardly for a moment before taking a seat, staring ahead at the TV without taking in what was going on; I couldn't even have said for sure what programme was on.

"Any word from your dad yet?" Bonnie asked after a minute or so, as casually as if we were waiting for him to come back from a fishing trip instead of a monster hunt.

"Nah, not yet," Beau called back, just as calmly. "But they've not been out there that long, and he doesn't have a cell phone anyway."

"Is Jules still out?" I asked, realising belatedly that she probably would have appeared by now if she were anywhere in the house.

Bonnie nodded, finishing her mouthful of food before she answered. "Yeah, but she should be back soon. She's been running all morning."

My stomach turned again, and suddenly the sandwich Beau handed me wasn't quite as appealing. Still, I forced myself to take a few small bites, chewing each one thoroughly.

My brother sat on the floor rather than the sofa, and at first I couldn't understand why; even though it was small, there was still enough space for both of us. But then he fixed Bonnie with a hard stare and I realised he'd chosen the spot so he could face her more directly.

"What's your take on all this, Bonnie, really? Because it seems like you've been supporting the wolves this whole time, but earlier you were talking like it was a huge burden, like you didn't want Jules to be part of it. So, which is it – blessing or curse?"

Bonnie looked contemplative, and her answer came out slowly, as if she were considering every word before she said it. "To be honest, it's a little of both. I have a very vague early memory of watching my grandfather take his wolf form to go running one last time with his pack. There was such power in them, and when I heard more of the stories, the legends of what my ancestors had accomplished, they truly seemed like superheroes to me. My friends used to wish there were vampires around so that they would change too, and I wanted to be a part of that, even if I had to watch from the side-lines. The pack protects us – there is no more noble calling than that. But now, seeing those boys go through the first changes, watching Jules go through it…" She sighed and shook her head. "I'm still proud of her, of all of them, and I believe in what they are all doing with all my heart. Seeing it all much closer has just made me realise that there is pain and difficulty in it too."

"The stories didn't prepare you for that, huh?" Beau asked ruefully.

Bonnie just hummed in reply and took another bite of her food.

The conversation died there and an awkward silence descended as we all picked at our plates. I found that if I focused on what my brother was doing and matched his bites – the timing if not the size – then I could actually get some food past all the twists in my insides and finished more than half the sandwich without even noticing what I was doing.

Just as I was enjoying this minor victory, the back door suddenly banged open, making me jump.

Bonnie tutted and turned over her shoulder to call towards the hallway. "Jules, how many times do I have to tell you to be gentle with my house?"

"Sorry, Mom," came the reply, in the typical tones of a teenager who'd received the same scolding so many times that it no longer had an impact. Jules came into the living room moments later, a cheeky grin on her face that melted away as soon as she saw us. "Oh. Hey guys, I didn't know you'd be here so soon."

Beau shrugged casually. "Didn't have a reason to hang around at home. How are you?"

"Fine, fine," she replied dismissively. "Little tired, but nothing a bit of sleep won't fix." She fidgeted from foot to foot, clearly trying desperately not to look uncomfortable and coming off even more awkward as a result. "Hey, um, Bella… could we talk… in private?"

My back instantly stiffened. Beau eyed me warily, and when he caught me looking at him, he raised one eyebrow in question – did I want to do this? I wasn't completely sure that I did, but there was something in Jules' face, something vulnerable and childlike that cut through the new hardness and reminded me of the girl she had been before all this started. I felt the familiar ache of sympathy for that girl, and I couldn't tell her no.

So I nodded and stood up, handing my half-finished plate back to Beau. "Sure. Lead the way."

She gave me a half-smile that was at once grateful and nervous, and turned to go back the way she had come along the small corridor. I followed, ignoring the intense way Bonnie and my brother watched me go.

"We can go in my room," Jules offered hesitantly, gesturing to a door that stood ajar, revealing just a sliver of the room; it was enough to see that it was the size of a shoebox, dominated by the bed which was unmade and surrounded by clutter. "Or there's the garage."

"Garage," I decided instantly. After being stuck in the house for most of the last week, being even that small bit further out in nature was certainly appealing. Not to mention the bigger space would give me a little more room to move away if I felt like I needed to.

It felt odd to be with New Jules in a place that I so very much connected with Old Jules. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what the difference was; perhaps it was something about the soundless smoothness she moved with, or the sheer size of her after this most recent growth spurt. The familiar shapes of the Rabbit and our bikes appeared somehow smaller next to her, and I was a little afraid that her Harley would topple over when she leaned against it. I ran my hand along the chassis of my own bike, memories of the engine rumbling under me morphing into the snarling of the wolves in the meadow last week and then into an old familiar growl that made my hollow chest ache and sting. My arm instinctively came up to hold everything together, and I bit my lip against the frightened whimper that wanted to escape.

"We could go riding later if you want," Jules offered, her soft voice still making me jump as it jarred me out of my reverie. "We'd have to take Beau along, or drop him with the rest of the guys, but-"

"No," I said, cutting her off a little more sharply than I'd intended. Turning to face her, I tried to moderate my tone a bit, but the pain and anxiety thrumming through me made it difficult. "No, I don't think that's a good idea today."

"Okay." She seemed to deflate, and an uncomfortable silence descended, the sort I had never had with her.

"You wanted to talk?" I reminded her, more to break the awkwardness than out of any real desire to start this particular conversation. I had a feeling I knew where it was going, and I didn't know what I would say to her.

"Yeah. I wanted to say sorry," Jules began, her face the picture of remorse. "For yesterday, and last night, too. The way I was acting… I didn't have a choice, but it still wasn't fair to you to be so nasty about keeping the secret."

"It's fine," I mumbled awkwardly, looking down at my shoes as memories of hostile black glares threatened to tear me apart. "You wouldn't be the first person to do it."

She frowned. "You mean your bloodsucker boyfriend?"

I couldn't help the wince that slipped out. "Please don't call him that."

"Sorry." She didn't sound at all sincere, and the frown didn't budge. "But was he really…" She trailed off, as if she wasn't sure how to end the sentence.

I shrugged. "He would mainly say it wasn't safe for us to be friends… trying to keep me at arm's length so I wouldn't find out the secret, I think. Then when I did, he always seemed convinced it was dangerous for us to be together." This really wasn't helping the state of my chest; I brought my other arm up, crossing them and hoping I just looked defensive and not like I was trying to stop myself from coming apart at the seams. "Can we please talk about literally anything else?"

Jules looked like she wanted to argue, then changed her mind. "Alright. But just to clarify, I'm forgiven, right?"

Her expression was abruptly so earnest and vulnerable that it felt like the height of insensitivity to tell her no. And when I examined my feelings, twisted and confused as they were, I couldn't deny that I wasn't angry with Jules, and I never really had been; in my mind, she had always been Sam's victim, and from what Bonnie had been saying, it sounded as if she didn't have much choice either way.

Rather than bog the conversation down with all of that, I simply said, "Yes, you're forgiven."

A smile was creeping back onto her face, though she looked like she was trying to hold it back. "And you don't care that I turn into a giant dog?"

"No, not really," I admitted with a shrug that felt impressively blasé. "Honestly, I'm more worried you're going to get yourself hurt out there."

Jules lost her fight with the smile then, and suddenly she was beaming. She pushed off her bike and crossed the space between us in two long strides, grabbing me in a crushing hug.

"Jules!" I protested. "Can't… breathe!"

"Whoops, sorry." She let go immediately, though she had to grab my elbow to steady me as the abrupt loss of support made me wobble dangerously. "I'm just really glad you're so cool with everything. I was all ready for you to call me a horrible monster and say you'd never speak to me again."

It was my turn to frown now. "You aren't, though. At least, I don't think so. Being a monster is about what you do, not what you are. Now, if I thought you guys really were the ones who killed all those hikers, we'd be having a different conversation. But you being a… a werewolf still wouldn't be the problem."

"Good to know where the line is for you," she quipped, her tone just shy of a scoff and her shoulders tensing up again. "You were looking pretty pally with the dreadlocked leech for a little while the other day."

"You heard us talking?"

"Part of it." She shrugged nonchalantly. "We'd been trying to pin him down all morning, I guess running into you guys forced him to stay still long enough for us to catch up. But when we saw him talking to Beau's…" She scrunched up her nose, as if struggling for the word, or else trying to hold back one she knew she shouldn't say.

"Girlfriend," I supplied. "Or you could just call her Edythe. You know, since that's her name."

"Yeah, sure." Jules looked like she didn't particularly like that idea, but made an effort to smooth out her expression and continued. "Anyway, the first of us arrived about when you guys were talking about that other group in Alaska, and you still sounded kind of friendly at that point. We didn't want to piss… Edythe off by attacking an ally. But once the killing talk started, we gathered up as fast as we could. Once we were all there and absolutely sure he was going in for the kill, that's when we went for him."

I frowned in confusion; something in her words didn't quite fit together. "If you weren't there right away, how do you know what we were talking about? How would you know to get there if you weren't there to hear it?"

She rubbed the back of her neck, making a face. "So, that's one of the weirder wolf things. I mean, there's lots of weird, but… yeah."

She didn't immediately elaborate, and though I tried to be patient, curiosity was taking hold as my anxiety finally waned; after a few long seconds of silence, I had to prod her. "I can handle weird. Come on, tell me."

"Okay." She still looked uncomfortable, but she pushed ahead, forcing out each word. "So, when we're wolves, we can… hear each other, even if we're a long way apart. In our heads, I mean, although if we howl loud enough, we'll hear that from a distance too. But… yeah. We're basically in constant communication."

"You talk to each other with your thoughts?" I clarified.

"Kind of." Her mouth twisted to the side. "It's more like we're in each other's heads. What one sees, we all see, what one knows, we all know. It's great for coordination, but it can be a pain if there's something you don't want to share – it's almost impossible to hide anything." Her cheeks turned slightly pink. "Which is super awkward when you're the only girl in the group, believe me."

Realisation hit. "So last night in my room, when you said Sam would know you'd been there…"

Jules nodded. "Yeah. Even if I'd tried not to think about it, it would have come out eventually. Obviously, with everything else that happened, it didn't matter, but I got chewed out all the same." She tilted her head to one side, her eyes narrowing in something between curiosity and suspicion. "You don't seem all that bothered by the idea of me having a bunch of other voices in my head."

I shrugged one shoulder. "Again, it wouldn't be the first time I've met someone with that ability."

"You mean the bl- Sorry, sorry." She'd seen the look on my face and cut herself off quickly. "The Cullens. They can do it too?"

"Sort of," I hedged, feeling a twinge of discomfort; aside from the expected pain of after so long focused on secrecy, it was strange to talk openly about vampires, even knowing intellectually that Jules was well aware of what they were. "Really, it was just… just Edward. He… he can hear what people are thinking around him, so the others use it as a way to talk to him."

"Huh." Her expression had smoothed out, turning thoughtful. "So that story is true too. I'd heard there were vampires with extra… perks, but it can get tricky to figure out what's true and what's just a legend, even with how careful we are about passing stuff down. Any other tricks I should know about?"

There was a rolling sensation of betrayal in my gut now, and my spine stiffened again as I threw her words from last night back at her. "That isn't my secret to tell. Look, Jules, I'm all for sharing anything that could help you guys catch Victoria, and I don't want it to seem like I'm picking sides, but… I don't want you trying to use me to get insider information about the Cullens, okay? I won't help you fight them."

Jules took a step back from me, blinking rapidly with a look like I'd slapped her. "Hey, hey, no! That wasn't what I was trying to do, I swear. I was honestly curious. We're working together, at least with Edythe, I wouldn't…" She trailed off, and I could see the guilt creeping into her face.

"For now," I said grimly. "You're working together for now. But can you really tell me that there isn't a part of you dying to find out their weaknesses? And even if you can promise me you won't use something I told you against them, you've admitted that everything you know will eventually get back to the rest of the pack. I'm sure Sam would more than happily store away all their abilities for the next chance he gets to go after them." I squared my shoulders and put on my most obstinate look. "I'm sorry, but I won't give him that power."

Her eyes turned almost sad, though there was a flash of anger in the depths of them too. "You're really still protecting them, even after everything?"

My eyes narrowed. "Edythe is my friend, and she's important to Beau. For his sake, if nothing else, I'll protect them all."

Jules looked like she wanted to argue against that, but a throat clearing from the door interrupted her before she could get started. We both turned to find my brother standing in the entrance, a terse expression on his face. At first I thought it was because he'd overheard the tail-end of our conversation, but when he spoke I quickly realised it was something else.

"Bonnie got a call from Sam." The name came out with just the hint of a grimace. "Apparently, he wants you to take us to Emily's, wherever that is. He said you shouldn't be alone with us."

Irritation bubbled up in my stomach, and I wondered if I was now so ingrained to hate Sam that anything he did would annoy me. My hands, still wrapped around my chest, clenched into tight fists that pressed into the sides of my ribcage in a way that might have been painful, had other agonies not been distracting me more.

Jules, by contrast, nodded as if this were a perfectly reasonable request. "Right, of course. Let's go."

"What, they still don't trust you?" I spat, clinging to the anger in the hope it would override the pain. "Their egos are that fragile that they want to make sure you don't tell us anything that's going to make them look bad?"

"What if we don't want to go?" Beau chimed in, matching my tone and causing a rush of gratitude to flood through me. "Don't we get a say?"

If Jules was overwhelmed by the two of us ganging up on her, she didn't show it. "Of course you do. But Sam is right, it's safer for us to go be with the rest of the pack. And no, it's not so they can keep me from running my mouth." She looked almost uncomfortable, and the sadness was back, this time tinged with shame; she kicked the dirt floor with her toe. "When we're new, like I am… controlling the wolf is harder. If I get too angry, I'll change, and one of you could get hurt. If we're with the other guys, then at least there's a chance for one of them to stop me." She rubbed the back of her neck, still not meeting our eyes. "That's the other reason it was dumb of me to go over to your place by myself last night, especially when I knew there could be a vampire there. If she'd been in the house when I arrived… well, you saw how close it got when she did show up."

Somehow the memory came through clearly, even though I'd been half-dead from exhaustion at the time. "You mean when you were getting mad, and you started shaking? That was nearly… changing?"

Jules just nodded. "We usually call it phasing, but yeah, that's where it starts."

"But you kept it together," Beau pointed out. "If you can do it once, then surely…"

"There's never a guarantee," Jules said, her voice utterly miserable. "Look, I can't make you go if you really don't want to, but I at least have to go check in with Sam. When the Alpha gives an order, we've got to follow it."

"The Alpha?" my brother snorted. "Pretentious much?"

Jules' shoulders tensed. "You got a problem with our tribal traditions? Back in the day, the Alpha wolf was also the Chief of the tribe, would you rather I call Sam that? I mean, what do your precious bloodsuckers call their leader, huh?"

Beau folded his arms over his chest. "If you must know, they call her 'Mom', and she lives up to the name."

"Alright, alright," I cut in, stepping between them. "This is getting us nowhere." Not to mention my chest felt like it was in ribbons from all the talk about the Cullens. I turned to my brother. "As loathe as I am to bow to Sam, I think we should go. The whole point of being here was to be under the pack's protection, and if Jules doesn't think she can do that on her own…"

Jules gave a disgruntled huff, but didn't comment.

Beau seemed to be analysing my face closely, as if searching for some hidden truth, some contradiction to my words in my eyes. Whatever he saw must have convinced him, because after a moment he nodded sharply. "Alright. As long as you're sure."

"Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?" I joked weakly. It would barely have been funny even if I'd been able to deliver the line with any confidence, but Jules still snorted a laugh as she began heading outside.

"Say that in front of Paul, I dare you." The grin she threw over her shoulder was just on the edge of nasty. "I want to see what colour his face turns."

My stomach, which had almost calmed down, began rolling again. The sensation combined horribly with the pain in my chest that lingered, though it was gradually easing the longer we went with no one mentioning a Cullen by name. Still, I had the unsettling feeling that at some point, all the tossing and tearing was finally going to overwhelm me and I would just disintegrate completely. Tightening my grip around my torso, I followed Jules and my brother out of the garage, praying to whoever would listen that I could keep myself in one piece long enough to at least go peacefully in my sleep. Then again, my sleep hadn't been peaceful in a very long time; perhaps it would be better just to let go and get it over with.

It bothered me how little I felt at the thought of my own death. So I did the only thing that made sense to me in that moment – I began to catalogue all the reasons I had to stay alive. Within seconds, it had become just a list of names: Beau, Charlie, Renée, Jules, Edythe. Choosing not to pay too much attention to the order that my sleep deprived brain had put them in, I silently repeated the list over and over to myself, filling my mind with nothing but the names and their faces in the hopes that there would be no room left for any other worries or fears.

I wasn't very successful.