**edit-notation*** CHAPTER 8 HAD TO BE SLIGHTLY CHANGED. PLEASE REVIEW PRIOR***
It was a shitty night to be out. It's been raining off and on all weekend, forcing you to stay inside spending the hours working on school assignments or watching mindless television.
Toji dragged you along to go grocery shopping with him tonight, not that you mind too much. You'd rather have input on what you eat during the week anyway rather than leaving it all up to him. The guy was way too dedicated to his specific comfort foods for your liking. You'd seen him finish family sized bags of roasted fish potato chips in one sitting. His cooking could get a bit monotonous too without you asking to try making new things. Although he hadn't given in to all of your requests in the store, you've saved your biggest one for the ride home.
"Come on! Please, sensei? I promise I'll be super careful and even go below the speed limit."
"I said no. You don't have any experience behind the wheel."
"No doy! How am I supposed to gain any? Ask a stranger to let me drivetheircar?"
Fair point, he thinks. It's only a few blocks away. He looks again at the rain puddles gathered in the gutters of the street with disdain but the storm has let up temporarily. It isn't even drizzling anymore. You're looking at him expectantly, awaiting a reply that's taking much too long. He knows he's being overprotective but has to let you grow up at some point. His jaw sets squarely while fishing the keys from his pocket, looking from them to the hungry look in your eyes with growing worry.
"Under the speed limit, like you said." He grunts as he forks them over to you at last.
Trying not to sound too jubilant, you grin from ear to ear and snatch the keys before he can change his mind.
"Yes! Thank you!"
Already biting back his regrets, Toji buckles his seatbelt and waits for you to do the same. He has to let you grow up and take on new responsibilities eventually, and driving is a fundamental step into adulthood. Alot of kids your age don't even have access to cars to practice. He needs to give you any headscarf you can get.
"Check your mirrors and make sure you can see out the back windows too. Is the seat high enough?"
"Yup!" you chirp while checking your reflection before switching over the ignition. Damn it feels so cool to be finally behind the wheel!
"Okay. Make sure no other cars are coming and always look out for pedestrians. Don't rely on your mirrors for everything, actually turn your head and look around," he reminds you as you ease forward out of the parking lot.
You're far too excited to be bothered by his overprotectiveness. You're driving! Actually driving! Not a go-cart or a video game simulation, but a real car!
Cradling your foot carefully, you listen to Toji's coaching to treat the gas pedal gently like an egg. You ease a bit harshly onto the brakes at the first red light, making the two of you jolt slightly.
"It's okay. Every beginner does that. Just try to lightly tap next time instead of stepping all the way down."
You mutter an apology, your initial excitement not dissipating one bit. Your apartments are already visible up ahead. Toji watches your face with a bemused smile in the making.
"Do you want to round the block a few more times to get the hang of it more?"
"Hell yeah! You don't mind?"
"Na, go ahead and make a right here. We'll circle around the building once."
"Thanks, sensei!" you beam again, carefully switching on the turn signals to indicate your next move.
The streetlights shine brightly back at you through the glare of the windshield. You keep your hands both in place on the wheel as you make the first turn. It feels like your nervous passenger is finally beginning to relax a bit too judging by his silence. A faint sound reaches you, causing you to glance up into the rearview mirror.
Uh-oh. An ambulance.
Sensing your tension, Toji speaks quietly.
"Keep calm. Just pull over to the side first chance that you get to let it pass. Make sure no one is walking out through the lot there…"
Your heart is palpitating a bit faster but you do as he instructs, letting the scream of the emergency response whiz by. You gasp sharply when you feel the car bounce from the wind force of their speed.
"You did good. Good job."
Relaxing your grip on the wheel, you look over at Toji. You expected him to have a smug remark ready to make fun of you for being so easily startled, but to your surprise you can see his knuckles are white around his seatbelt strap.
"Sorry," you murmur.
"Don't worry, just keep going. You still have three more turns to make. Be sure to use your signals."
You don't question him even though there's no other cars behind you. You switch the lever every time and continue coasting below the speed limit. It's barely a pleasure cruise but by the time you pull into the parking lot, a swell of accomplishment builds inside of you anyway.
"I did it!"
"Yup. You did real good." He nods curtly before hopping out of the car.
"Maybe now you can let me do some of the driving so you don't have to. Then we won't have to walk everywhere. You can just take it easy."
Toji mutters a half-hearted "we'll see" and passes you up the walkway. You're too amped to notice that his breathing is quicker than normal. He opens the stairwell door and begins the long ascent two steps at a time. After a few flights his accelerated heart rate begins to feel like a natural response to the exercise.
..
"No way! He actually let you drive?!"
Junpei's eyes widen as you recount your experience from the previous night. It was impossible not to brag the moment you met up to walk to school today. He could tell you were glowing from the inside over something new and exciting.
"It was only for a few minutes but I didn't screw up once," you boast lightly.
"That's awesome! I bet you'll have your permit by the end of the year."
"If I'm lucky. Have you driven your mom's car before?"
He shakes his head with a wry laugh. "Not really. She asked me if I wanted to a few times, and I thought I did. But when she had me merge onto the interstate…I kind of freaked out."
You raise an eyebrow at that. "Freaked out how?"
"I dunno. In every way? I couldn't go fast enough for the traffic behind me. They were all honking their horns and shouting at us as they passed. I was crying by the time we pulled over onto the shoulder to trade places again."
"Oh, man. That's rough. I'm sorry."
"It's alright. I just don't have the nerve to be driving. It freaks me out way too much."
He laughs his fears off lightly and offers a sheepish grin.
"You can just drive for all of our dates when you get your ID."
The fantasy gets your heart fluttering right away. It really won't be too long before the two of you are able to enjoy your dates truly on your own without a curfew. In less than a year, you'll both be eighteen and (hopefully) graduating. It's such a buzzing happy thought. Planting an enormous smile on your face,you squeeze Junpei's hand tighter.
He starts up the front steps of the school, but feels a tug as you fall back slightly. He turns around to ask you what's up when he realizes you're looking behind them.
"Fushiguro? You alright?"
It takes a few moments for you to reassure him that everything is fine… but you could have sworn you just saw someone you recognized. And not in a pleasant way.
"Are you sure?" he asks again.
"Yeah, everything is fine. Don't worry about me, I'm just seeing things I guess."
"Okay."
He brightens again at his locker as he retrieves his math textbook. "So…I was thinking maybe we'd try to duck out for lunch today if you were interested? There's a new crêpe cafe close by. They just opened over the weekend. I don't think many people have visited them since it rained so much."
"Ooh, that sounds great! It's a date."
You kiss his cheek before making your way to your first class with only a twinge of wariness in the back of your mind.
..
.
It's 10:29 by the time Nagi pulls into work. She quickly punches in and checks her schedule for her shift. No trauma cases indicate a slow start to her day thankfully. She's beginning to gather the necessary equipment for her first afternoon case when the familiar laugh of a coworker echoes from around the corner. Once within sight, her friend Rina hurries over to her side. The click-clack of her stethoscope swings with each excited step.
"How are you? Any interesting updates?"
In an attempt to remain nonchalant, Nagi shrugs while keeping her eyes on her clipboard. "Pretty good. We don't have any cases in the ER yet, so we should be able to get ahead on prepping for–."
Rina only huffs impatiently. "You know good and well what I was asking! I mean how did the date go? How is everything with Mr Handsome?"
Mr code name they'd created for when they talked about the mystery man she's been seeing. Nagi remained adamant not to use his real name until things were official between them. As much as she prided herself on being practical, some wishes are best kept close to the heart.
"Ah, that. It was very nice. He's a gentleman really."
"Meaning there's nothing juicy? No kiss-and-tell?" her coworker prods further.
Immediately her face flushes and a sly smile creeps up all the way to her cheeks.
"There was one little kiss."
"Yes! You are in there, girl! Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" Rina pumps her fist in a victorious motion.
"It wasn't that kind of kiss. It was… sweet."
"Well that still means something! When are you going to be ready to tell me more about him? Or at least let me see a picture."
Nagi feels her face turning warm with embarrassment. "It's just too soon. Sorry."
"But he kissed you! That's getting somewhere at least."
Nagi merely offers a pitying half smile. "It's further than I've gotten in a long while, but I still can't tell if he's ready for anything serious."
"Hey, it doesn't have to be serious if it's been years. Even a little bit of fun is deserved. For your sake I hope he gets the lead out and shows you a real good time."
Rina gives a wink, letting her insinuation sink in enough for Nagi to blush all over again and call her friend terrible for flustering her at work.
"Are you going to see him again?"
With another secretive smile, she finally looks the tiniest bit excited openly.
"Well… he did say he'd go with me to see the opera playing at the cultural center."
Now Rita's jaw drops and she scrambles to clutch Nagi's arm.
"Madama Butterfly? He agreed to go see Madama Butterfly with you?!"
"It was his idea actually. He said he thought I would enjoy something sophisticated. Of course he's right, I've been dying to see this one, but I think I'm more excited to see him in a suit for the first time."
"Girl, this is big! I've never met a man who voluntarily suggested a date to an opera. He's putting forth some real effort and obviously thinking about you." Rina pauses to wrap an arm around Nagi's shoulders.
"I'm so happy for you! I can't wait to hear all about it."
As her friend departs to check on her patients, Nagi holds her bottom lip softly between her teeth. If he were anyone else, she'd be confident that seeing Toji as frequently as they have should hold some deeper meaning. A part of her notices his lingering smiles and tender glances when they're together, but she also can't forget that night when she heard him crying in his bathroom after she'd slipped up mentioning her late husband's name.
While she listened to the soft crying from behind the locked door, she peeked around his apartment. Soon she discovered the urn in his living room as well as the picture of a beautiful girl next to it. From there it was a only matter of checking through his books until finally coming across a name written in one of the cracked jacket covers of an old bible.
To Minato-chan, Love Mother.
She remembers how the room began to spin when she realized why he'd gotten so upset. What were the odds that their past partners shared the same name? It felt too cruel to be real. After the initial shock, she gathered her courage and knocked quietly on the bathroom door.
"Toji?"
There was a sniffle before a muffled response called back,
"Be right out…"
His eyes were red and swollen when he finally opened the door again. At first he refused to address his distress, but when Nagi cupped his fevered cheek in her palm it came spilling out all over again.
"Come sit with me," she whispered with a gentle smile.
"You can tell me about her if you'd like? I'd love to hear about your Minato."
He agreed with what looked like great difficulty, accepting her touch even with visible pain etched in his features. She stroked his back softly as he hiccuped through the last of his sobs. Then he told her about the accident…
"I was driving. I didn't wanna risk anything during the last few months of the pregnancy."
Nagi gasped sharply at the realization.
"Oh my.. I had no idea! I'm so sorry."
He only nodded and swallowed his grief down through silent tears. Her hand covered his instinctively.
"And the baby?" she asked with immediate regret. Toji hid his expression, turning away. His voice was frail and he shook his head.
"I lost him too."
Nagi couldn't help herself after that. She burst into tears at the thought of such a tremendous loss. The death of a spouse is heavy enough, but to lose your family in a single day? She didn't know how he possibly survived that magnitude of heartache. When she felt his arms envelope her, she apologized again and again for bringing it up. He only apologized more insistently that he should have better control over his emotions by now.
How could she feel any animosity for his outburst when she was guilty of the same. Smelling the same cologne her late husband used to wear could stop her in her tracks wherever she was and bring her to tears unexpectedly.
Even after all those years, losing the love of your life takes a piece of you with it that no one else can replace.
Even still… He deserves to be happy, and I can wait as long as he can.
Nagi smiles to herself while clipping her pager to her hip, pushing her feelings to their proper place so she can focus on her patients.
..
First and second period go astonishingly well for you much to your surprise. With Junpei's multiple after school lessons you've nearly caught up to him with your math scores. It was probably difficult for him to break things down into simpler equations for you again and again with endless patience, but he never complained once. You're far from making honor roll by any means, but it still feels nice to see the results of your combined hard work paying off.
Even Ms Hama takes a break from her usual starchy demeanor to congratulate you on your most recent assignment you'd turned in. Your portrait of Toji holding your little white cat on his lap had received an A which you couldn't wait to take home and show off to him. He'll definitely pay extra for it now.
Junpei shows you the high mark he'd received for his mom's portrait as well, he really did an excellent job capturing her likeness.
"All thanks to you!" he insists.
"No way," you blush a bit modestly. "You're the one who's practicing more. You definitely deserve to take all the credit."
He merely kisses your cheek as you part ways at your locker. It's time for third period, a class you've been seriously neglecting thanks to your bad habits to cut class. You've been striving to do better though. You haven't missed a lesson all week in fact. Maybe Toji can be convinced you're becoming responsible enough to drive the car again soon.
Junpei rests his head lightly on your shoulder, giving you one final hug before the bell rings. "I'm excited for our lunch date."
"Me too. Let's meet back here in an hour?"
"'kay! See you then!"
Junpei waves as he heads off to his next class and you make your way to your history lecture. It's one of your most boring classes thanks to the teacher also being ancient as all hell. Mr Watanabe was so mentally checked-out that he failed to report every one of your absences before, making note of only the last two. Since then he's tried much harder to keep a mindful eye on his newest student, especially with your preceding reputation he'd gathered from the faculty.
He was droning on about a peace treaty you'd already heard of before when something flashes past the window you're seated next to. It was only a glimpse, but you're positive of what you saw this time. Immediately your hand goes up and you ask for a hall pass to use the restroom. With only slight reservations, Mr Watanabe allows it, insisting you hurry back.
"I won't be long," you promise.
You stride down the now empty hallway toward the restrooms. Instead of stopping however, you march toward a side exit and out into the open school courtyard. Scanning your surroundings, you make note of how quiet it is when classes are all in session. You seem to be the only one here. Except you know what you saw.
Assuming the trespasser is hiding around the perimeter of the school wall, you turn the corner and take another look around the seemingly empty alley.
"Come on out and face me! I don't have all day."
Your voice is the only thing you hear at first, but then the crunch of footsteps on loose gravel reaches your ears. You tense up expectantly as a familiar face steps out from the shadows.
But it isn't who you were expecting at all…
"You! What the hell are you doing here?!"
Instead of a reply, you receive a dullthump!on the back of your head that makes you pitch forward. You stumble to your knees, dazed but aware that someone is lifting you up and slinging you over their shoulder. Weakly you lift your head one final time. You can barely see the orange glow of a cigarette in the hand of the long-haired man walking steadily behind whoever is carrying you.
The sting of your blood drips into your eyes and your head throbs again painfully before everything goes black.
..
Junpei nearly collides with an incoming student on his way to his locker.
"Whoa! Sorry!" he chirps as he side-steps at the last minute.
It still earns him a pretty nasty glare, but he couldn't care less. He's in a hurry to see you. After a few minutes pass however, his forehead wrinkles with concern. You did agree to come right back and meet him here for your date. What could be taking so long? Surely you're just held up with your teacher or something. There's no way you would forget so quickly.
He heads to your history classroom and pokes his head in, finding Mr Watanabe at his desk and grading papers.
"Um, hello? Watanabe-sensei? Have you seen Fushiguro?"
At once the teacher looks annoyed.
"For a few brief moments, yes. I did see him."
Sternly he looks up from his papers with a frown. "You should speak to your peer about his poor habits. Cutting classes doesn't do anyone favors."
Junpei blinks rapidly. "You mean… he left?"
Indignantly Mr Watanabe shakes his head and resumes his focus on the assignments he's only partially through reading.
"I can't keep track of anyone but the students who are choosing their future. You'll have to tell Fushiguro when you see him that he still has to make up for this pop quiz he missed."
"Thank you. I'll tell him," Junpei mutters while beginning to get a very sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.
He returns to the hallway, watching other students dividing up into their usual groups for lunch. Without any idea where you could be, he starts looking in your usual places: the roof, theater auditorium and both of the boy's restrooms on opposite ends of the campus, but Junpei still has no clue where you could be.
There's no messages or calls from you on his phone. Desperately he radials over and over but it only reaches your voicemail. It's as if your phone was switched off.
BBRRRIIIIINNGGG!
The school bell makes Junpei jump. Lunch is over. And still he has not heard from you.
His stomach feels sick and there are tears stinging his eyes as he plops into his desk for the next class on his schedule. He struggles to keep himself as collected as possible while trying to think of what he should do next.
Junpei cocks his head over and sees Honda and Sayama bickering back and forth over a video game they'd both started playing recently. Neither one looked as if they'd encountered you today and received a beating. He can't help himself. He leans across the aisle anyway.
"Psst. Hey, Sayama?"
The lanky student looks over with only a little perturbation.
"Yeah? What do you want?"
"Have you seen Fushiguro around at all? During lunch or before then?"
The other boy appears thoughtful for a moment, exchanging a puzzled look with Honda before the two of them shake their heads.
"No. Why?"
"Nothing. Nevermind," Junpei mutters. His hands are clammy as he grips the sides of his desk anxiously.
His teacher has started her lecture but his head is spinning. He can't focus. Swallowing again and again, he realizes he's started to overheat. He unbuttons his jacket and swivels his head around the room again. Honda and Sayama are staring at him with visible intrigue.
He raises his hand suddenly, cutting his teacher off mid sentence.
"Kimura-sensei! May I please be excused?"
His teacher purses her lips, glaring sternly. "Class has just begun. You'll just have to wait for the dismissal bell."
"But I–"
"Enough! You need to learn to manage your own time efficiently. Now back to what I was saying about covalent bonds…"
She prattles on carelessly as Junpei seethes in his seat. Fuck! He can't just keep sitting here doing nothing while you're missing! From his left he hears the amused snickering of Honda and Sayama once again.
This is bullshit! You could be in trouble for all Junpei knows and he's stuck here. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself.
What would Fushiguro do if I went missing?
His eyes snap open and he turns sideways in his desk. Sayama barely has the time to register the movement before Junpei's fist connects to his temple with a loudThwackk!
Sayama slumps the floor like a puppet with cut strings. The sound grabs the attention of everyone in the classroom, including Mrs Kimura, who gapes in shock at her most quiet student who suddenly snapped.
"Yoshino! I don't know what's gotten into you, but I won't tolerate this behavior! Now take yourself to the–"
"The principal's office. Yup, got it!" he pipes before bolting out the door and into the hallway.
He runs full speed toward the office. The principal's door whizzes past but he doesn't stop, instead sprinting through the main exit and down the front steps.
"Fushiguro! Hey, Fushiguro! Are you out here?!"
He repeats his calls for you while jogging the perimeter of the school, pausing when he reaches the alleyway where the two of you first met months ago. He darts through, still shouting your name and scouring the grounds for any sign of you.
That's when he sees the small flash of green laying in a puddle. His heart is in his throat as he stoops to pick it up with shaking fingers, already knowing what this is.
It's the Keroppi frog keychain he won for you at the arcade. The clasp of its chain is snapped off. Junpei's vision swims with tears.
He takes off running again with the keychain gripped tight in his fist. He sprints down the sidewalk, not even knowing where he's going anymore. He's barely taking precious seconds for air between his calls for you.
"Fushiguro! Fushiguro! Answer me please! Fushiguro!"
People are whizzing past him as he flies by, shooting him disturbed and even annoyed glances without even bothering to ask him what the trouble is.
Junpei pants heavily while catching his breath, doubled over while crying. His stomach cramps and he holds himself steady with both arms squeezing tightly around himself.
"Hey there. Are you okay?"
It's such a soft voice that Junpei doesn't fully register that it's directed to him. He looks up, wiping his eyes with his palms and finds himself face to face with two boys who look just slightly older than him. One has light pink hair shaved into an undercut style. The other boy has dark hair and a fierce expression fixed on his features. They're both holding small pink paper cones with rolled crêpes inside. Junpei stares at the treats, startled silent momentarily.
"Why are you looking for me?" the one with darker hair asks while narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
Junpei blinks in confusion, sending more tears cascading down his cheeks.
"Huh? What? I'm not looking for you, I'm looking for Fushiguro!"
The other boy looks impatient now. "Yeah. And that's my name. Now what do you want?"
Again Junpei only stares in confusion, shifting his focus from one boy to the other. Another painful sob gathers in his chest as he realizes how utterly hopeless his efforts may be. What was he thinking? Shouting your name around expecting for you to magically appear?
He drops to his knees, feeling defeated as the tears fall freely now. He stares down at his fingers, noticing that the blue polish you'd painted had already started chipping away at the tips
"I'm not looking for you, stupid! I'm looking for my boyfriend!"
..
.
To Be Continued…..