Chapter 8: Murphy's Law
Jane began to feel a sear in his mind, and he attempted to open his eyes, finding that one of his eyes was bloodied, and he could only see red through it. Team colors, a good sign. He attempted to ignore the pain, and force himself to his knees.
An ear-splitting crack near him sent the sear back into his mind full force. He fumbled back over as tinnitus overwhelmed his ears. Medic and Engineer's implants definitely weren't working right. He turned his head to find the source of the crack, and bore witness to Sniper, holding down the Emperor's quarters, as any good American would. He had positioned himself in roughly the middle of the room, with the doors wide open. He had a clear view down both hallways with his angle, but his enemies wouldn't have enough time to react to him.
This was demonstrated when a guardsman made his way down the left hall towards Mundy. Quicker than should have been humanly possible, Mundy spun his rifle towards his enemy, and fired. A hole opened in the guardsman's head, and his body seized, as he fell into the pile of guardsmen that lined the hallway. Faster than the fastest jack rabbit, Mundy pulled a cartridge from the webbing on his thigh with his ring and pinky finger, and in the same fluid motion, using the backside of his thumb, pulled back the bolt of his rifle, ejecting the spent round. In the same fluid motion, he flicked the new cartridge into the chamber, and drove the bolt home with his thumb. He ended the motion by gripping his rifle, resting his index finger on the trigger guard. The whole motion took less than a quarter of a second.
This action sent off alarm bells in Jane's head. There had to be an explanation for this treasonous action, as he had read Mundy's file, the real one, the one the Advisor had not wanted him to read, and attacking fellow Americans was not something Mundy had ever done before, outside of fair combat. This was an ambush, pure and simple, and an ambush of fellow Americans no less. In a rage, Jane forced himself to his feet.
His right arm felt limp, so he rolled his shoulder and popped it back into socket. His right foot felt like some of the bones had broken in it, but he ignored the pain and marched on towards Mundy anyway. A flash of movement to his right caught his eye, and Jane turned his head, inducing a splitting headache. As he fell back to his knees, he witnessed a metal box, with metal arms, and metal legs, surge towards a guardsman, and grab him with its right arm, smashing the guardsman against the hardened wooden outer wall. The fingers on the arm began turning around the collar of the arm, much like Dell's Gunslinger, turning the guardsman to saucy paste. He looked like a Chinese factory worker after getting caught in a lathe.
The box turned on its backwards bent legs, spinning at the waist, and opened up with four machineguns around its chassis. Immediately, Jane went deaf again, and the sear in his mind and tinnitus in his ears forced him back down to the ground. He reached out a hand towards Mundy, who glanced over at him from the corner of his eye, as if just noticing he was there for the first time. Then everything went black for Jane again.
...
The outdoor crew, now all back together, raced back towards the castle. Heavy had Sasha cradled under one arm, and Scout under the other arm, due to an alarming comment Scout made about separating himself from the group in order to find someone. Heavy was booking at a pace he normally didn't keep, but then, he normally didn't invade parallel universes with only nine people. Come to think of it, he normally didn't invade parallel universes at all.
Without breaking stride, Heavy made to shoulder charge the large wooden doors separating the castle from the outside world.
"No, no, no", Scout pleaded from under his arm, as Heavy propped up his shoulder. "WAIT WAIT WAIT-"
Heavy crashed through the door, the armor absorbing most of the blow, along with Scout's face.
"Medic", Scout weakly called.
Ludwig sighed, and opened the nozzle of his medigun. Scout's face pieced back together, though Scout didn't look any less pissed. He began kicking out his legs, trying to get Heavy to drop him. Heavy ignored his efforts, working to bring the team to the Emperor's chambers.
Heavy and the rest of the team burst into the Emperor's quarters, being greeted by a wonderful sight. Sniper sat in the middle of the room, and removed his right hand from his rifle, giving a three finger wave, and quickly replaced his hand. Behind him, Dell, in his eight foot tall mech suit, held in one of his metallic hands the Emperor himself.
"Scout", Engineer said, through a grainy, hollow-sounding voice amp. "Thank goodness you're ok, partner."
Engineer turned slightly towards Spy, who nodded to him. In response, Engineer flashed a green light on his carapace. Heavy nodded as well, but Engineer didn't respond in any way.
Scout took a moment to examine the mech Engineer was in. The thing, eight feet tall, had cylindrical ankles and forearms, with four long metallic fingers on each hand, two square toes and a similar-looking heel on both feet. Connecting the arms to the forearms were large pistons and servo-motors, and big metal boons connected in such a way to almost, almost look like a regular black arm. The same went for the legs that connected to the ankles, but they didn't connect to the large square that was the chest and abdomen region.
The legs connected to a rectangular waist section, which connected to a large cylinder, which connected to the abdomen. There was no visible "head", but there was a slit of thick glass, or what looked like glass, that didn't seem to lead inside. It was probably a backup so that Engineer could still see if he lost power to whatever cameras were looking out of the machine.
The thing looked frankly terrifying.
"Looky what we've got here", Engineer said, with clear malice in his voice, though it was somewhat hard to hear over the distortion, "a hostage. And an important one at that!"
"Put me down, you gaijin ape", the Emperor barked.
Engineer held him up higher, saying coyly, "From where, your majesty?"
Heavy was looking up at Engineer, smirking and giving a gruff chuckle. Scout glanced at the door. The only person watching it was Sniper, and he wouldn't care.
Scout sprinted for the door.
...
Spy heard Sniper give an annoyed grunt, and started glancing in his direction when Engineer brought his attention back with an equally, though much louder, annoyed grunt.
"Where did you get a gun from, mister", Engineer said in a taunting tone to the terrible tyrant.
"FILTHY APE", the Emperor screamed, firing a shot at Engineer's carapace with his odd steampunk "iron thrower".
Engineer, annoyed, tossed the Emperor aside. The Emperor flew for a while, and came down hard on his leg, right around where he normally sat. His leg bent forwards at too far an angle, making a single, wet "POP" noise. The Emperor howled in pain, but dragged himself closer to his usual spot with his hands as quickly as he could.
"He's got a panic button over there", Spy called out.
Demoman moved to paste him with his grenade launcher, but Heavy grabbed the barrel of the weapon, giving a firm shake of his head. Heavy began strolling over to the Emperor's spot, but it looked like the Emperor would make it there first. Spy was right, and watched in dismay as the Emperor flipped over the rug to reveal the button and PA microphone.
As he moved to press the button, a knife sunk into his hand. The Emperor clutched his wounded appendage, howling in pain. Spy glanced back at Mr. Mundy, only to find that he didn't even look away from his scope to make that throw.
"You know how you make a mute man stop talking", Sniper said with a growing smirk across his face. "Break his hands."
Heavy closed the distance with the Emperor, and delivered a swift kick into the Emperor's face. As the Emperor reeled from the shock of the blow, Heavy grabbed the Emperor by the scruff of his neck, and dragged him back to the center of the group of mercs. As Heavy tossed the Emperor at the feet of his captors, Spy finally took a look around, and immediately took notice of a missing member.
Spy shouted at Sniper, "Where is Jeremy?!"
Sniper rested his rifle on his knee, then pointed down the hallway with his left arm.
"Ran down that way."
Spy immediately turned to run down the hallway, but a massive hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned his head to see Heavy, giving him a look that said he wanted to start a dialogue. Spy wasn't interested in talking, and turned to go back towards the hallway.
"He has survived this far", Heavy said flatly.
Spy shrugged off his hand, jabbing, "Because I've kept him alive this long."
"Do you not trust him? His skills?"
"It's not about that", Spy shouted, wheeling on Heavy, and shoving a finger in his face. "You know damn well it's not about that!"
Heavy's expression remained flat and impassive.
"Uh, Spy", Engineer said, as he tapped one of his massive metal finger's on Spy's shoulder. "How's your equipment workin'?"
"Irrelevant", Spy said in a hot tone as he turned back to the hallway.
"I can fix it up for ya", Engineer offered, "before ya run off an' git yerself killed, anyhow."
And there lay the problem. Spy wasn't at 100%. If he slowed Jeremy down, he might get him killed. Then what would have been the point in trying to save him at all.
Spy stopped in his tracks, slumping his shoulders. He closed his eyes tight, trying to hold back tears, trying to pretend to be someone else again. He took a deep breath, and let out a long sigh.
"Alright", Spy said quietly.
Immediately, Engineer's mech started to whir like it was powering down, and it crouched so it would be easier for him to exit. The front face of the mech opened in two parts, both overlapping, like windows into a spaceship. Indeed, that was the best way any merc could have described the inside of that mech; so many displays, buttons, and joysticks that it made everyone else's head spin. At least the chair looked comfy, as Engineer unbuckled himself from the X belt and slid out of it.
Engineer touched a button on the inside panel of the mech, and the doors closed up with a hiss. The mech didn't do anything more than that, simply crouching where it was, now six feet tall instead of eight. It was like an ancient golem, if they were made to look like walking boxes.
"Ay", Demoman shouted, "ain't that thing gonna act like a sentry gun or what?"
"Oh, no", Engineer dismissed with a chuckle, as he waved for Spy to hand him his watch. "It'd eat up too much Australium to have it go autonomous. If I could make a different kind of power station for it, it'd be a breeze to make it go sentry mode. Hell, I could make it follow me around like a puppy if it had a different power source."
Demoman opened his mouth again, as Engineer had the watch opened up, and was digging through it with tools.
"Before you ask, hell no I'm not making it steam powered or whatever the hell kind of engines those savagesuse. Not only would it be inefficient and tacky, but it would be a choking hazard in tight spaces to all but three of you."
"Aw, yer no fun", Demo said as he sipped the beer bottle he had opened earlier.
...
"Hold on, Combine", Scout said under his breath, as he sprinted towards the dungeon. "You're not going to rot here."
He had flown past the scattered guardsmen, who were absolutely astounded by the speed of the young man. So far, he had passed seven, and none of them had fired on him, or even bothered to give chase. Scout was free and clear, all the way up to the door of the dungeon.
He pulled the Hi Power out of his waistband, and opened the door, startling the guard inside. Scout leveled the pistol towards the guard's leg, and fired off a shot. A spray of blood shot forth from the wound, and the guard howled, falling over, grabbing his leg, and rolling back and forth.
Scout looked into each cell, and as he went down the line, a knot slowly formed in his stomach. Each and every cell was empty. When he finally reached Boudica's cell, he angrily turned to the guard, who was still on the ground. He leveled the pistol at him again, and the guard flinched.
"Where are the prisoners", Scout shouted.
The guard stared at him, confusion evident on his face. Scout pointed to one of the cells, repeating his question, louder and more forcefully. The guard looked from Scout to the cell, and hesitantly began crawling towards it. Scout fired a shot in front of him to stop his progress, and the guard jumped in fright. Scout repeated his question, slowly and even more forcefully.
The guard began looking from the cell to Scout, and a realization began creeping up onto his face. He said something quickly in Japanese. Scout frowned, confusion on his own face. The guard, noticing his confusion, and not wanting any more treatment, held out one of his fists, and made one of his hands flat. He hit just behind his fist with the heel of his hand, and mimed the fist hanging limply.
Scout, registering what he was miming in his mind, felt rage bubble in him.
"You killed Combine", Jeremy shouted, leveling the gun at the guard's head.
"Com-bine", the guard repeated, confused. "Conbine... concubine?"
"Now I'm going to kill you, too", Scout said, depressing the trigger.
"Concubine! Jane Doe Genariti-togu!"
Hearing Soldier's name gave Scout pause. A confused look came over his face. Then understanding dawned on him. Collaborators get "perks".
"Where is Jane", Scout shouted.
The guard began scrambling over his words, showing directions with his hands frantically. Scout memorized the directions, the snapped his wrist towards one of the cells. The guard, dejected, and ironically, a bit exasperated, crawled towards the cell, opened the door, and crawled inside. Scout slammed the door behind him, and ran out of the dungeon.
...
Boudica tore through Jane's stash, looking for something, anything to help her. The gunshots in the palace spelled only one thing to her; a coup. And if there was a coup, undoubtedly it was raised against her unpopular general, which meant a sword would come down on her neck too. Or worse.
Finally, under a pile of sheets, she found a whole musket. She hefted it, aiming it at the door. She had no idea how to prime it, but she assumed the trigger would fire it.
Right on cue, a samurai walked through the door to Soldier's room. The samurai's eyes trailed to her, and he scoffed. Boudica pulled the trigger, and, just her luck, nothing happened.
Her heart sank, as did the barrel of the gun. The samurai laughed heartily, and took a step towards her. As he did, a loud crack resounded, and a hole crunched into his helmet and out the other side, a splash of blood painting the wall to his side. His body did the splits, and then crumpled into a splayed mess. From the hallway, Jeremy came into view, a smoking handgun in his clenched fist.
His face lit up when he saw her, and he extended a warm, "Combine!"
"Jeremy", Boudica responded, relief washing over her. "So your friends really did come after all?"
"Yep", Jeremy said, as he withdrew the magazine to check how many rounds he had left. He counted seven, and replaced the magazine, saying, "Come with me, we can get you to safety!"
Well, being safe sounded better than being here. She dropped the musket the rest of the way to the ground, and held out her hand. Jeremy took it in his own, nondominant hand, and pulled her along, running fast and hard to escape their pursuers.
...
Clang, clang, clang
The doorway, now significantly larger, came into sight as Scout dragged Combine, panting and exhausted, behind him. She began to try and beg Jeremy to slow down one last time, but Scout cut her off by actually slowing down. Boudica finally managed to get some shaky breaths into her lungs. Over the sound of her heart thudding in her ears, she heard the clanging again.
Was it an Iron Samurai? She didn't think so, the one that had sounded like that had been damaged heavily, after the battle she had lost. The painful memory aside, it sounded a little bit less rhythmic than those horrid steps did.
No, this was a hollow clang on hollow metal. It reminded her, now, of the tinkerings of a blacksmith, and for a moment, she was transported home. Then they rounded the corner, and something glinted in her eyes.
Jeremy immediately threw himself in front of her, and the glint was covered up. Over his shoulder, Boudica could see a lanky man with a wide hat raise one of his eyebrows, and then shift his glass tube on top of what appeared to be rifle down the hall opposite of them. Boudica was certain she had never seen this man, nor the kind of gear he had on him.
As they walked past him, she could have sworn the lanky man had mumbled, "I wasn't gonna shoot her... just wanted to glass them curves..."
Nevertheless, he now seemed to have absolutely no interest in her, and was intently looking through his glass down the hallways. She turned her head to look over Jeremy's shoulder to see what else she could. She nearly wished she hadn't, as the scene before her nearly made her head hurt.
Before her were several areas of note, those being a large... doorway of metal that had an odd machine attached to it which someone was tinkering with, a box with legs and arms, a group of men, around five in total, huddled together, and close to a wall, the bloodied and broken body of her master. She didn't even want to break down the doorway in her mind, and she guessed that the box with legs was maybe some kind of Iron Samurai. She had no idea why her master was knocked out on the ground in a growing puddle of blood, and she guessed that the group of armored men were strategizing.
If this was all they had, they were going to be slaughtered, and soon.
...
Heavy continued explaining how they were going to lock down the castle to make entry a bloodbath for any opposition. It was pretty simple; this room was the strongest in the castle, being reinforced against bombs, much less gunfire, and having no entry points behind it, they would just overwatch the hallways and maintain fire if they were engaged. It was definitely one of the strategies of all time.
In reality, they would mostly be relying on the fact that they had the Emperor captive to discourage entry. If that failed, they were in for a slog. They would keep Heavy and Demoman on the front lines, since they had the most armor, they would send Pyro outside because they didn't want to accidentally be burned alive, Spy would do what he normally did, Medic would keep them alive, and Sniper would keep them and Engineer covered. Not a perfect plan, but it only needed to work for about the next twenty minutes, if that.
In the meantime, Demoman would mine the approaches. As he threw his backpack over his shoulders, he met eyes with the incoming Scout. He gave him a quick salute.
Demo looked back over his shoulder, saying, "The boy made it back."
As Demo walked off, Spy pushed through the group to come face to face with Scout. Spy wanted to say something to him, scold him, praise him, embrace him and cry. Ultimately, he settled for a clap on the shoulder.
"Don't do that again", he added, as he held out his other hand to bring Boudica into the group.
The first to take any serious note of her, outside of the "checking out" that almost everyone else did, save Pyro, who was busy chasing a butterfly that had gotten into the castle, was Heavy, who gave her less of a hungry scrutinization and more of a cold, calculating one. He took note of the fact that she was barefoot, which made him sigh in exasperation, and then took note of the kimono that she had on, which also made him sigh in exasperation, and finally took note of her long hair, which she had let down, which made him groan in a way that suggested he was not happy with the overall picture. He pointed a big, meaty finger at her in a way that made her feel like she was being accused of something.
"Do you have any special skills", he asked in a serious tone.
"If you mean in combat", Boudica replied, narrowing her eyes, "then no, not really."
Heavy slapped his forehead, grunting in a way that suggested he was very angry with this outcome. He then pointed that finger at Scout, giving him a glare that would have melted a lesser man. Scout did shrink a little, but ultimately held his ground.
"Why did you bring this vulnerable woman who can't fight", Heavy said through clenched teeth and a searing glare.
Scout straightened up, hardening himself, and answered, "She has nowhere else to go."
Heavy's gaze softened, only slightly. He still sighed in exasperation, shaking his head. He grabbed the Hi Power out of Scout's waistband, checking that it was loaded with a fresh magazine.
"Then you will stay here and protect her", Heavy declared, a scowl on his face, as he handed back the Hi Power to Scout.
Spy knew for a fact that this was a well calculated decision. It made Spy happy, got a fairly weak and malnourished comrade out of harm's way, and made their defenses stronger. Plus, instead of making Scout feel like a burden, it gave him a role in the team.
"I can-"
Suddenly, the aura of the whole room changed. Everyone's head swiveled towards Heavy, including Pyro, as he pointed at Scout with his left hand. Heavy's face was sleek, and black like a predator's. Scout felt like he was an ant about to be stepped on by an elephant. The finger finally hovered an inch from Scout's forehead.
"You bring, you protect."
"Ok, ok", Scout said, throwing his hands up. "I'll stay here, chill out."
Heavy grunted, seemingly dissatisfied with the conversation, and went back to talking with the rest of the group like he hadn't just startled Pyro out of its happy search for unicorns. Heavy outlined the last of their strategy, right as Demoman came rushing back into the room.
"Oi, we got a problem", Demo shouted. "Actually, we've got about two hundred of them."
"This soon", Heavy breathed, a little bit of hope leaving his eyes. He shook his head, asking, "Did you get the entrances mined?"
"No time", Demo admitted with a shake of his head. "They started setting up a cannon, and I ain't keen on testing my armor's durability at the moment."
Heavy shook his head, mumbling to himself, "At least we have the Emperor as prisoner, maybe that will make them cautious..."
"Maybe", Tavish said with a shrug, "or it could make them fight harder to get him back."
"How did they get here so quickly", Heavy questioned, turning to Spy. "I thought we took out the closest reinforcement points?"
"Did you truly believe I would so freely reveal all of my secrets", a voice by the back wall asked devilishly, as a sly grin crept up the Emperor's bruised face. He clutched his wounded hand, saying, "I called them up long before the rebels made their move. They took their sweet time, but now they're your problem."
"You are a fool to admit that", Heavy said, as he walked over to him and knelt to get eye level. "A true manipulator would have let the question go unanswered, would have sown discord and made us wonder."
"I wasn't trying to sow discord", the Emperor said with a dry chuckle. "I was trying to distract you so he could grab that gun."
Heavy turned his head in time to see Soldier, bloodied, battered, bruised, and with one eye completely reded out, point a shotgun at his face. Soldier held it in one hand, clutching at his broken ribs with the other. Out one side of his head, his skull was completely exposed, and a part of that skull was missing, revealing his undulating, Bolognese brain. A look of pure hatred adorned his face.
"Get away from the Governor, traitor", Jane Doe said with a painful hiss.
Heavy, not one to argue with a firearm in his face, held his hands up, stood up slowly, and backed away. Soldier limped over to the Emperor, taking his rightful place at his side. He leveled the shotgun at the team, motioning for them to group up.
As the team went about forming a tighter group, Soldier began his rant, saying, "I know the truth, now. I know why they say you can't trust foreigners, now."
"Woah, hey, Soldier", Scout said, holding up his hands to indicate the group, "there ain't no foreigners here, just pure blooded-"
"Don't patronize me, boy", Soldier said in an even, poison-filled tone. "I read all of your files, especially the stuff they didn't want me too. I know a good portion of you immigrated legally to the United States, some of you even did it with government assistance, and I was willing to overlook it and give you all a chance in spite of that, because America gave you that chance, opened her arms and let you into her house. Now... I can't even bear the sight of all of you! Traitors! Down to the last of you!"
He pointed his shotgun in Boudica's direction, shouting, "Private! Are you aligning yourself with these traitors?!"
In defiance, Boudica gripped Jeremy's arm, causing a blush to run up his cheeks.
"If there is one American in this room", Jane Doe cried out, "then I am that one American! If there are none, it is because I have died!"
"Kill them", the Emperor hissed.
"I can't, sir", Jane explained. "There's too many of them, and I only have one shot. I am taking them prisoner in accordance with the laws outlined by the Geneva convention... which I will promptly ignore! Now strip naked, maggots!"
"Wait", Spy said quickly. "You believe that Japan is a part of America?"
Jane looked at him, confused, saying, "Of course."
"Soldier", Spy said with a sigh, "America never claimed Japan as a territory."
For a moment, Soldier was quiet.
"The only thing America stipulated", Spy went on, "was that it would remain under military occupation. It's more of a hostage than anything."
Jane Doe blinked. For the briefest moment, it seemed like something had finally clicked in his mind. Jane turned his gun on the Emperor.
"I never liked you", he said, as he blew the Emperor's head off, spraying gore all around.
"Well", Heavy said dejectedly, as the Emperor's corpse crumpled to the ground, "there goes our bargaining chip."
"Hell", Dell said with a chuckle, "we always suspected we'd have to fight it out. But I like our odds. Two hundred of them, only one cannon, maybe a few of those tin men. That's all they brought against nine of the deadliest, most efficient, and best equipped mercs on earth. And Scout."
"I heard that", Scout mumbled, "jackass."
"I'll set up a couple of sentry guns", Engineer offered to Heavy. "It might buy us more time."
"Thank you", Heavy said gratefully with a shake of his head, "but save the metal. The faster you finish this door, the faster we leave."
Dell nodded, hefting his wrench.
"Everyone else", Heavy called, as Medic healed up Soldier, "stick to the plan. We can win this."
...
The sound of clanging, as Engineer beat out the new machine, finally died down as he moved to the computer, and began typing in codes to explain what the machine's purpose was, and how it would carry out that purpose. Compared to the banging, it was deathly quiet, and the relative quiet began to put Scout on edge. He wasn't the only one on edge, as he watched Medic pace back and forth, though he was probably on edge for an entirely different reason from Scout. Whereas Medic hated being in the back lines, Scout was equally breathing a sigh that he wasn't being actively shot at, yet, he was concerned about keeping Boudica safe.
"Oi, Scout", Sniper said evenly, waving him over with his left hand.
Scout wondered over, and Sniper held out his left hand.
"Give me your pistol."
"What", Scout practically shouted.
"You can have my MP5", Sniper told him dismissively. "Probably gonna regret that, it's a beautiful piece. Make the trade, kid."
Without a second thought, Scout handed Sniper his Hi Power. Sniper stuck it in a pouch on his belt as Scout put the extra magazines he had on the ground next to Sniper. Sniper used his left arm to point at the duffel bag, and Scout immediately approached, opening it, and producing the sub gun. He checked to make sure it was loaded, and grabbed a few extra mags from the bag to stuff into his pockets just in case.
Just as he did, the shouts of "Incoming", came down the halls. Sasha could audibly be heard revving as Scout let out a shaky breath. He slapped the charging handle of the MP5, and waited.
...
Heavy could feel that hope inside him dying every second. Two hundred mean versus nine, no matter what you gave the nine men, was suicide. They could kill a lot of men, sure, but they would never be able to kill enough. They were fighting for time, nothing else, and even then, he didn't like their odds.
Soldier stood beside him, in his kimono, chest bared, shotgun in hand. In the folds of his suit, he had pocketed as many shells as he could carry, and he had a crazed look in his eye, the wide eyes of a man who has seen plenty of combat and who's body is trained to survive it. Heavy was incredibly worried about them; his tactics were suicidal on a good day, which was fine when they had a Respawn machine, but not only did they not have access to that, Soldier had lost his purpose for the past month or so in the span of a few hours. Granted, Jane seemed to be taking it well, but his mood could shift rapidly without warning on the battlefield, and he usually tried to take his own life when it did.
Heavy was down several fighters, against a literal army, with no chance to respawn. The stress was already making his eye twitch. He rubbed his hand up and down the length of Sasha, trying desperately to calm himself down. He knew that every second they weren't attacking was a second they gained, but a part of him wished they would just go ahead and try it already, just to put his mind on something else.
Of course, as soon as the thought entered his mind, he heard Demoman shout, "Incoming!"
He let out a sigh, turned over his shoulder, and echoed the call.
...
They had tried to take him.
He was beautiful.
And they had tried to take him.
The familiar burning in the pit of the stomach crept back in.
The predator watched from behind a bush, waiting for the moment to strike down the evildoers.
They would never take him again.
He was beautiful.
And so he would remain.
...
Spy was going to have to do whatever he could to make this fight as hard for the enemy as possible. Dell had supercharged his watch, making it work indefinitely for the next few hours, but it would burn out the mechanism completely if he didn't use it in intervals. Not that he was too pressed about it; they had plenty of Australium, and they would either live or die within the next 30 minutes or so anyway.
Of course, his primary objective was that damn cannon, but that would be a feat and then some to accomplish. It not only had a dedicated crew, and a dedicated guard, but one of those dedicate guards was an Iron Samurai, who was helping the team move the cannon by hand. He would probably not be able to take out the team, but he could certainly thin out some of the other ranks.
Disposing of a low-level samurai, taking his form and hiding amongst the enemy was easy enough, but looking for opportunities to troll would not be easy. Granted, it was easier than doing it in front of nine paranoid schizophrenics, but 400 eyes still left plenty of opportunities to be spotted. And just as the thought entered his mind, he spotted one.
Some kind of junior officer, with a banner strapped to his back, had wondered away from the group. And was washing his face in one of the water buckets like a complete jackass. A knife dragged across his throat, and Spy had a new disguise on deck. He would save it for when the force was ready to move in. He would have to sneak back in and tell Demo to place a shitton of mines in the other side of the castle, but for now, he needed other opportunities.
A few packages of semtex in some of their powder reserves should do the trick. From there, he would have to quickly warn Demo, and then take his place as junior officer of the misguided morons. Everything was going according to plan.
Or, at least, it was, until a whole platoon of Iron Samurai marched up to reinforce them. Unfortunately, though, there was now no time left for any additional sabotage. As soon as the Iron Samurai linked up with the rest of the infantrymen, the call came out to go into the castle. Fortunately, Spy's contingent was first up.
...
A massive boom shook the castle, and the sound of collapsing infrastructure soon followed. From outside, even more explosions resounded. Heavy breathed a sigh of relief as panic and cries of agony sounded from outside. He was nowhere near ready to stop panicking, but he was well on his way to not bursting a blood vessel today.
Spy materialized right in front of him, and the blood vessel almost blew anyway. Heavy tried to hide how cooked his nerves were, and gave Spy a friendly nod. Spy approached him, pulling up his mask briefly to wipe sweat off his brow, or at least to mime doing so.
"They divided into three groups", Spy immediately began explaining. "Two of fifty and one of one hundred. Fifty of them are gone already. Demo used a metric cockload of semtex, I barely made it out of there."
"No kill like overkill", Heavy remarked with a shrug.
"Speaking of which", Spy said, his face awash with something akin to dread, "An entire platoon of Iron Samurai came to reinforce them. About ten of them went with the first group, I'm sure ten will go with the second, and the rest will go with the last."
The blood vessel was now under so much pressure that it was visible from orbit.
"Oh, and I couldn't destroy that cannon."
Heavy now had to massage his temples with his off hand just to keep his skull from shattering under the increasing pressure. He wiped off his face, wanting beyond want to punch something right now. And of course, as soon as the thought entered his head...
"Incoming", Demo shouted from down the hall, as he ran towards his little alcove of cover.
Heavy began unleashing a groan that would quickly become a roar. Soldier, noticing that Heavy wasn't up to the task of relaying information, shouted "Incoming" down the hall in his stead. Soldier wasn't a terrific leader, but he was a vital addition to the team, balancing out their strengths and weaknesses.
Troops of samurai began rushing down the hallway, and immediately, Heavy revved Sasha, and began firing. On his left, Demo began plugging bombs into their lines, and Soldier began firing his shotgun into the crowd. Samurai began falling in droves, quite literally piling up at their feet. Maybe, Heavy hoped, this wouldn't be so bad after all.
Medic, hearing the firefight increase in intensity, grinned, and exchanged the bonesaw on his hip for a different, brown colored saw with a bulb behind the blade. Without a word to Scout, he rushed towards the front. Mundy tried to stop him with an "Oi", but Medic either didn't hear him or didn't care enough to respond. Mundy sighed, and adjusted his rifle which was propped up on his leg.
The fighting wasn't close enough for Scout or even Sniper to see it, and for now, that was how Scout wanted it. Normally, he was eager to get stuck in, but with a vulnerable Boudica to protect, today was decidedly not the day for it. He dreaded getting into a fight with one of those Iron Samurai on a good day, and today was not a good day.
On the front, Heavy was firing Sasha until her barrels were producing heat waves, and then backing off to let Demo and Soldier hit the samurai while they were hiding behind the bodies of their comrades. Men were actually piling up, and they had yet to see an Iron Samurai. So far, it was going well.
As Demo lobbed a few more bombs into the midst of the samurai, Soldier was running in between them, firing his shotgun at any that stuck their heads up from behind their dead comrades. He engaged in hand to hand combat with two of them, managing to overpower them in a display of martial prowess, and snapped both their necks simultaneously. Then, to Heavy's horror, with a maniacal grin, Soldier shoved the barrel of his shotgun into his mouth, right in front of a scared crowd of conscripted peasants. Heavy didn't even have time to protest as a click resounded throughout the hallway. Soldier's shotgun, thankfully, was out of ammo.
"The gods defend me, maggots", he screamed at the poor, scared samurai, after pulling the barrelout of his mouth. "Fear what they would let me do to you!"
As the samurai fled, Heavy's blood vessel came centimeters from combustion. He gently stroked Sasha, whispering sweet nothings to her, as the sound of metal feet marching scrapped against his eardrums. He heaved Sasha in time to see the wide hallway filled with five Iron Samurai shoulder to shoulder, quite literally filling the hallway with a human… well, metal shield. Between the cracks in their human shield, low level samurai were taking shots at them with their muskets. Heavy very clearly saw Soldier take a round to the stomach, but after a brief stumble, Soldier continued on like nothing happened. Two rounds pinged off of Demoman's armor, causing him to jump but otherwise not hurting him.
Heavy began firing Sasha again, even though it was futile, only to see, almost in slow motion, a round arc out of one of the muskets right towards him. He didn't feel it hit him, although Sasha jolted, and then exploded in his face. Heavy, more startled than angry, watched Sasha fall apart in his hands; her barrels came undone and flew about, and her chassis began belching flame and fluid.
In a near blind panic, Heavy began grabbing up the pieces of Sasha from off of the ground. And then, finally, the blood vessel burst. Years of torturing himself for his mistakes, years of agony and suffering for his penance, and the events of the past few months finally flooded him. Heavy was born again, a battlefield monster, wrath incarnate.
He rose to his feet, seething in rage, as Medic finally made it to his side. Medic, immediately understanding the situation, turned to the nearest dying samurai, and plunged his Ubersaw into his heart. He took the bulb filled with life essence, and removed it from the saw, quickly replacing it with an empty one, and putting the full one into a dock on his backpack. Heavy charged the line of Iron Samurai as Medic activated the Ubercharge.
The Ubercharge did two things to a person, and two things only; it created a defensive barrier around the target's skin, using blood from their own body, and healed their body at a near infinite rate nearly instantaneously. However, Medic had told Heavy specifically that the Ubercharge also enhanced his physical abilities, which would make him stronger, faster, and far more agile. The fact that Heavy believed Medic implicitly when it came to his bill of health made for a very interesting fight whenever Medic popped an Uber on him, and Medic always watched with utter fascination what Heavy did when he truly believed he was Superman for a moment.
While Medic had certainly lied to Heavy about his advanced capabilities when a Ubercharge was used on him, he still monkeybranched around with the technicality that since Heavy believed him, in a way, it was true. Since Heavy's body healed at a near infinite rate, Heavy could easily activate the adrenal areas of his brain, and ignore all of the body's self-imposed "limitations"for a moment. Since there would be no long term effects on his body, his body could do whatever it wanted, and, just like watching a normally tiny, weak, defenseless mother lift a car off of her child, it always made for a superhuman spectacle.
Heavy lunged forward, punching a hole straight through the chest plate of the first Iron Samurai, his gore-splattered arm smashing out of the back plate. He ripped his arm out, and grabbed the next mechanical monstrosity by the arm, ripping it straight off of the chassis, throwing it like a spear at the rifleman who had killed Sasha. A geyser of blood shot out of the armless socket as Heavy clapped his hands onto the head of the next Iron Samurai, crushing it like a soda can. He threw his leg into the knee of another, snapping it backwards to appear more like a deer's leg than a human's. He grabbed the last in the row by the back plate and the butt plate, bringing its mechanical spine down on his knee, making a sickening crunch, metallic squeal, and making the Samurai bellow in agony.
Three seconds had passed.
Heavy began tossing the men behind the row of iron around like rag dolls, one of them landing before Medic. Medic plunged the Ubersaw into the man's head, and readied the next bulb in case he needed it again. As he did, the five remaining mechs in this wave came forth to reinforce their broken lines.
Two seconds had passed.
An Iron Samurai surged forth, and locked up Heavy's fingers in a shoving match. Heavy surged forth as well, snapping the Iron Samurai's Iron gauntlets in half, and dropping them to deliver a heavy cross to his helmeted faceplate. It crunched in, and blood flowed like a waterfall between the seams. Another Iron Samurai swung his chainsword overhead, the chain hitting Heavy's head. The whole sword broke in half over Heavy's head, and the Samurai immediately fell back as Heavy pushed towards him.
Three seconds had passed.
The Ubercharge wore off, the layer of energized blood around Heavy falling to the ground around him. Heavy fell to one knee, trying to catch his breath as his burst of action caught up to him. Medic ejected the spent bulb from his pack, and replaced it with a fresh one as the Iron Samurai swiftly drew his sword and moved to land a killing blow on Heavy's skull. Medic inserted the full bulb into the dock, and hit the nozzle on his medigun.
As Heavy was brought back to his overwhelming strength, he threw an uppercut into the Iron Samurai's chin that snapped the man inside's neck and sent him soaring into the Iron Samurai behind him. Heavy sprinted forward, shoulder checking the next mech with the force of a Camry running over an orphan child. The mech flew into the wall as Heavy turned on the last Iron Samurai on its feet.
Two seconds had passed.
Heavy marched towards the ironclad Samurai, as it swung its chainsword at Heavy. Heavy lifted his arm, letting the boom bend against his forearm. The samurai threw away the now useless weapon, pulling out its backup sword, and thrusting it at Heavy's chest. It shattered into pieces against the Uber blood barrier.
Three seconds had passed.
Heavy ripped the chest plate off of the Iron Samurai, and grabbed the pilot, yanking him violently out of the mech, which stood like a sentinel without its driver. The pilot, broken and bloody, was tossed violently at the wall, forcing even more of his bones to snap and contort painfully.
Three seconds had passed.
Heavy fell to his knees again, as his blood barrier splashed to the ground all around him, forcing himself to not lose consciousness, begging his lungs to take all the oxygen in the room in. Heavy, incapacitated, watched as the Iron Samurai that had been buried under his comrade finally managed to leverage his dead colleague off of him, and rise slowly to his feet. Heavy, unable to move, could only watch.
An impact grenade slammed into the Iron Samurai, peeling it's armor off of it like a can being delidded. Somehow, the pilot inside was uninjured by the blast, but he was left vulnerable, which was demonstrated when Soldier blasted his chest cavity apart with buckshot. Soldier approached the limp mech and pilot, and pumped another round of buckshot into his exposed chest cavity.
"You are all weak", Soldier roared, "you are all bleeders!"
Soldier raised his leg, and used it to push the now limp mech over. It crashed to the ground with a thud. Soldier casually walked over towards Heavy, and offered him a hand.
Not many people understood Soldier like Heavy did. He had actually had long political talks with the man, and had realized that he was something of an extremist Paleo Libertarian, although with emphasis on the Paleo, what with his talk of "Children yearn for the mines and men yearn for the caves". If you could learn to take his insanity in stride, he did genuinely want to help his team and his country, and while the Administrator had used that fact to exploit him, making him the most underpaid team member, Heavy found him to be quite endearing. Soldier most likely could read the context clues, knew from his pale face that Heavy had lost a lot of blood to the barriers and was grieving the death of Sasha, and knew even better that the team needed to see him standing tall on the front in spite of it.
Heavy didn't want to admit it, and while he wished he could take a nap, he knew Soldier was right. Heavy accepted the hand, and braced himself with his other hand on the wall. Soldier used all of his might to haul Heavy to his feet, and once he looked like he was steady, nodded to him. Then he turned to where the pieces of Sasha lay, and began gathering them up.
Heavy got Medic's attention, and pointed to Soldier. With a roll of his eyes, Medic directed his medigun at Soldier, opening the nozzle, and healing his wound. Soldier quickly gave him a thumbs up, and then hefted the barrels and body of Sasha, carrying them solemnly towards the back lines. Perhaps Engineer could fix her.
"Oh, mien bitte", Medic said to Heavy in a way that would suggest he was a mother hen looking after a chick with a damaged wing, "you need some plasma in you, and quickly."
Medic withdrew from his pack a large syringe, filled to the brim with a brown liquid. Heavy sighed, and mimed rolling up the sleeve on his right arm, holding it out for Medic. Despite his size and lack of care for gunshot wounds, he hated needles, though that was more because of his time in the Gulag than anything. Oddly enough, Medic was beginning to make him less and less afraid of needles, although it didn't help that Medic loved to "volunteer" him for odd and drastic experiments due to his "vitality", as Medic put it.
Medic quickly inserted the needle, and pushed the plasma into his bloodstream as quickly as he could without compromising the vessel. After he had pushed it all in, and Heavy was done squirming, he withdrew yet another needle of similar size, this one filled with Saline. Heavy grunted his discontent.
"Well, until I find a way to make the Ubercharge more Merc friendly", Medic reminded him, "you need to take your medicine. If we had the time, I'd throw you in a chair and force you to sit there for three whole two-liter bags of this stuff, but this is the best we can do for now."
Heavy presented his arm again, and in went the Saline, slow and deliberate.
...
Engineer was still typing away at the big computer when Soldier showed up, his Kimono drenched in his own blood, carrying what was left of Sasha. When Engineer saw Soldier out of the corner of his eye carrying something towards him, he immediately realized that he needed to redirect him, or else Soldier would start bothering him.
"Sniper", Engineer shouted, "help him get whatever he's got into one of the spare compartments on my mech."
"Spare compartments", Sniper echoed. "I wasn't aware your mech had any."
"On the back", Engineer told him. "Silver handles. Push the button in the middle, twist the handle, and then pull."
"Push the... alright, got it. Soldier, over here, mate."
Engineer went back to typing, trying desperately to put in the correct codes so that they got home proper. For a few minutes, there was relative quiet. Engineer was nearly done with a line-
"Oi, Dell", Mundy called out, "left or right?"
"Left or-", Dell cut himself off, seething with rage. "Just turn it, damnit! One of them will work!"
Dell returned to the computer, wondering, "Aw, hell, where did I leave off? I think that was supposed to be a..."
...
Heavy didn't feel much better. After all, what Medic had done for him was the equivalent of putting a bandaide on a bad case of gonherea, but it was better than nothing. Heavy turned towards the hallway where his enemy would be coming down, trying to hide how hard he was panting. Ubercharged twice in one daywas usually not a good idea, especially after major blood loss. Ubercharge was that once in a battle, crazy hail-Mary that you promised to never ever do again for the sake of your sanity.
Now, without Sasha, and barely standing, Heavy was only useful as a human shield. Thankfully, with his new armor, he would do very well in his new role. He wanted to call Spy over to tell Pyro to not bother with the ambush, since it was a moot point and they were all going to die anyway.
Of course...
"Incoming", Spy shouted.
Heavy spat on the ground in frustration.
Almost immediately, the sounds of metal clanking began coming down the hall. Within seconds, the hallway was filled with Iron Samurai, one of which was hefting a cannon up to his hip. The hallway was being choked with smoke as samurai with muskets fired at him between the gaps in the wall of iron.
Rounds sparked off of Heavy's armor, as Demo and Medic instinctively ran towards his large body, using him as cover. Heavy held up his left hand to cover his face, and shielded his right arm behind his body, letting Medic get as far behind him as he could while Demo still stuck out just far enough to continue lobbing grenades. For a brief moment, Heavy wondered where Spy had gone, and then decided that it didn't matter, as he was well versed in taking care of himself.
Medic jumped and let out a shout, but kept running in behind Heavy. Medic's own equipment would heal him passively, not as fast as everyone else was healed by the medigun, but fast enough that unless he received mortal wounds, he was in no serious danger. He would check himself later, and if need be, he had plenty of medicine on hand.
Heavy kept up his defense, backing away slowly to offer up some opposition, until the mech with the cannon planted its feet, and someone behind him touched a lit cord to the powder hole. The cannon went off, and a two pound ball of cast iron collided with Heavy's chest plate. In an instant, his lungs and guts ruptured, and all of his ribs cracked, along with his spine, and he was flung several feet backwards, all the while blood was trailing from his nose and mouth.
Medic knew instantaneously that Heavy had received too much damaged to be revived even by the medigun. His only chance would be an Ubercharge, but there was no one in range to strike with the Ubersaw. Heavy had one chance, and so did Medic.
Without a second thought, Medic let out a warcry, ejecting the spent bulb from his pack, and rushing the line of Iron Samurai. Demo, perplexed, knew that he wasn't going to stop Medic, so he did his best to help him, lobbing every grenade in his launcher into the mass of Iron Samurai, striking one directly and knocking it over. Medic charged through the line, jumping over the fallen mech, driving the blade of his Ubersaw through a samurai with an arquebus. He had an iron plate over his chest, so Medic thrusted low, striking the samurai in the pelvis over and over and over again until he had done it four times. He ejected the bulb, placing it in his pack, and his saw on his hip, not even bothering to finish off the samurai. Medicturned around, only to receive a chainsword through his unarmored gut. Medic screamed as his guts were mulched, and activated the nozzle.
Heavy stood up with his own warcry, the blood barrier active around him again, and charged into the fray, tossing aside three Iron Samurai and stomping down a fourth in the span of three seconds. He snapped the neck of the Iron Samurai who was attacking Medic, and lifted Medic up in a princess carry, charging back towards where Engineer and the others were. Demo continued to lay down bombs, and even began throwing stuff from his backpack out at random, just trying to buy the two time. When they ran past him, Demo followed behind them.
The Ubercharge wore off, and it was now hard for Heavy to see, with everything looking dark and blurry. He forced himself to stay awake, as he charged past Sniper to collapse at the frame of the doorway, knocked out cold, but still cradling medic. Both men were slick with blood, and the puddle continued building around them as Scout approached the pair with Boudica in tow.
"Incoming", Demo shouted, as he rounded the corner, actively reloading his launcher simultaneously.
"Scout, get up here", Sniper shouted at him. "We ain't gonna live if we don't got all the firepower we can get our hands on!"
As Mundy sighted down his rifle, taking a shot and reloading quickly, Dell turned around, announcing, "The machine's damn near ready, she's just gotta warm up!"
"How long", Mundy shouted.
"With a doorway this big, who knows?"
"Bloody brilliant", Mundy spat. "We've got maybe twenty seconds total SCOUT GET UP HERE!"
Scout leaned on the corner of the doorway to the room, spraying the MP5 at everything that moved. As he did, Boudica heard a wet cough coming from Medic. When she turned to look at him, he beaconed her over. Boudica hesitantly approached him, still cradled on Heavy's big arms as blood escaped both of their mouths. Miraculously, Heavy's bloodflow stopped completely after a cough of his own.
"Come here, frauline", Medic told her, waving her closer. "I need your help."
Another wet cough, and more blood droplets coated the floor in front of him. Engineer was now in the fight with his M16, his mech apparently having taken too long to power up in this circumstance. He fired from behind the cover of the metal beast, as Demo joined him in his cover, lobbing grenades over his shoulder.
Medic reached behind his back carefully, and produced a syringe of clear liquid.
"Give it to him", he told her. "It doesn't have to be in a vein, but it does have to be in the muscle. He'll have a splitting headache in the morning, but hopefully by then, we'll be able to get him some proper care."
Fortunately, Heavy was on his left side, which meant his right arm was exposed. Boudica pushed the needle into Heavy's forearm muscle, as Medic guided her to do, and depressed the plunger until it was all of the way down. She looked back up at the man who was spitting up blood.
"What about you?"
Medic smiled, saying, "Well, I have a theory..."
Medic pulled out that syringe with the bulb on it, and handed it to her.
"Push it into my arm, and find a vein this time."
She pushed the needle into his arm, and wiggled it around until the bulb began filling up with blood. As she did, Medic began removing his pack, and passed it to Boudica. Boudica tried putting on the backpack, but Medic shook his head.
"There's a wire", Medic insisted, pointing to a port on his pack. "Pull it out and pass it to me."
Boudica pulled on the wire, it unravelling, and handed it to Medic. Medic reached towards the pack, pulling a PDA off of it, connecting it to the bulb with his free hand, and connecting the line to the PDA. The PDA chirped, and Medic pushed some buttons until a picture of him with some readouts came up.
"I'm in the system, but I don't use it often enough on myself to have me as a preset, see", Medic explained. "The 'other guy' is so similar that if I did, it would probably just heal him instead."
Boudica cocked her head, unsure of how to respond.
Medic leaned in, whispering, "Don't tell the others, but I can't figure out which of us are the clones."
He leaned back into Heavy's grasp, saying, "Now, would you kindly pull this chainsword out of me?"
Boudica looked from his face to the jutting, gore-splattered sword with bewilderment.
"Don't worry about how rough it will be", Medic explained, "or how much pain it will cause. It will be momentary compared to a full medical bath in that... beam..."
Medic's eyes fluttered, and he shook his head, saying, "Once it's out, point that nozzle at me, and then push the handle forward."
Boudica picked up the nozzle, and mimed pushing the valve forward.
"Yes, but don't do it until this thing is out", Medic explained, "Otherwise getting it out will be much harder."
Boudica nodded, and put down the nozzle, grasping the hilt of the sword with her hands. Medic nodded, steeling his face. Then he reached his hand up towards his mouth, and bit down on his index finger. Boudica planted a foot on his surprisingly barreled chest, and pulled with all her might.
To her horror, the sword barely budged at all, and when it did, it made a wet squelching sound, and then seemed to dig in again. Medic bit down on his finger so hard the Boudica was sure she heard bone cracking. Maybe that was from the sword.
She pulled again, and the same routine happened, the sword came out only an inch or two, followed by a geyser of blood, and then seated back in him again. Medic bit straight through his finger, and it came off. Before he had time to transition to his other finger, Boudica accidentally activated the motor on the hilt, and the blades started rapidly rotating. Medic now screamed openly, and Heavy's grip on him tightened in his stupor, as he muttered, "No, no..."
With the blades rotating, however, pulling the sword came a little easier. It was still far slower than either she of Medic wanted, but at least it was moving at a steady clip. When the tip finally cleared Medic's skin, Boudica stumbled, nearly falling backwards with the thing on top of her. Thinking quickly, she flung it away, it coming to rest on the ground near her.
Medic, now contributing to the puddle significantly more, began to pass out without his consent. Through sheer willpower, he forced himself to stay awake, and directed Boudica to push the handle on the nozzle forward with hand movements. Boudica, enraptured by the amount of blood escaping his body, only paused for a moment since it reminded her so much of her husband's own untimely end.
She shook her head, promising herself that things would be different this time, and pushed the nozzle forward.
It was as if the wound reversed itself back to a different state of being, closing together as if it had never been. Medic no longer felt the pain of the horrific wound, and indeed, it swelled shut in a way that looked so unnatural that italmost made Boudica scream. Seeing that his wound was properly treated, Medic closed his eyes and allowed himself to rest.
Meanwhile, of course, everyone else was dying.
Scout had taken a round to the arm, which thankfully had passed clean through. Engineer had taken a round to the right shoulder and outer thigh, which both hurt like crazy but weren't life-threatening. Sniper had taken a round to the neck and foot, but was still somehow operating smoothly. Soldier was covered in so many bleeding holes that he looked like a polka dot red panda. His kimono was covered in so much red, it started to look like team colors again. Demo hadn't taken any rounds, but his faceplate was thoroughly trashed, so much so that he had to flip it up to see his targets now.
They had held the line for longer than Sniper predicted, but that meant little when they were in such bad shape. Boudica considered using the nozzle on them, but didn't know if she would have to go through the same process with all of them that she did with Medic, and if she did, she wasn't sure she could remember all of it. All of them kept fighting despite their wounds, but they all couldn't keep it up for long.
Suddenly, a feeling like all of the air in the room leaving at once hit them. Engineer clutched at his throat, Sniper simply fell over, and Soldier fell to his knees. Overpressure struck them all simultaneously, and they were bowled over as the entire hallway erupted into flame. The mercs struggled to get back to their feet, as a lone pair of feet patterned towards them.
Pyro rounded the corner, clapping and giggling, running through the ashes and trying to catch them with its gloved hands. Spy materialized before Engineer, making him jump, but he quickly looked relieved. Engineer stuck out his hand, and Spy offered his in turn. Spy pulled the shorter man to his feet.
"I helped Pyro set up a bunch of incendiary explosives", Spy explained. "Pyro is very proud of the result."
Spy glanced around at the team, commenting, "You all look like hammered shit."
Engineer grinned, saying, "No worse than usual, then."
Soldier presented himself to Spy at parade rest, saying, "Awaiting court martial, sir."
Spy looked at the number of holes in his body, shaking his head, mumbling, "Jesus Christ, Doe."
He stood upstraight and gave a curt salute back, saying, "Our investigation has concluded that the enemy tricked you, and that you genuinely believed that you were serving your country with full pride and honor. We rule this incident to be a 'failure to communicate', and shall allow you to return to the front with full honors."
Jane Doe straightened, and saluted in kind. He dropped his arm, looking relieved. Then he collapsed to the ground from blood loss.
Fortunately, Sniper made his way back to his feet, but he looked awful. He stumbled over to Spy and Engineer, looking for all the world like he was about to fall over. On closer inspection, his shirt was covered in blood from his neck wound.
"I bloody well hope that contraption of yours is gonna start up soon, Dell. I'm fading fast. Hell, everyone is."
Dell looked back at the machine, worry evident in his face.
"Should be any second now", he said, sounding like he was trying to force positivity into his voice.
"God, I hope so, Dell", Spy said aloud, and then added, "there's more of them coming. More reinforcements. Hundreds. Maybe a thousand. Tons of Iron Samurai… if that thing doesn't start soon, we're dead."
Dell looked down at the ground, mumbling, "I didn't tell them."
Spy looked over at him, responding quietly, "Me neither."
Dell nodded slowly. He glanced over at the prone form of Heavy and Medic. He nodded again.
"He saved our lives", Dell said, "gave everything to save our Medic. I've been a dick to him. I wish he was awake so I could apologize."
Spy chuckled, saying, "I think he's the only man I've ever cared to get political with, and had fun while doing it."
Dell glanced over at Spy, saying, "I've never cared for politics. Machines are simple, and I like simple."
Spy shrugged, offering, "He reads a lot. Ask him about some of his favorites maybe."
Dell shook his head.
"He really appreciates your machines, you know."
"I know."
"Just talk to him. You owe it to yourself, and him."
"…Ok."
"Get in your mech, Dell."
"Right."
Dell looked at him for a moment, the opened a compartment on the mech, and put his rifle inside, in a docking cradle. Then he opened up the front with a few button pushes, and the mech straightened up. Dell climbed into the seat, buckling himself in, and hitting some switches inside. The front door closed on him, and the mech whirred to life, standing to its full height, "flexing" its mechanical joints.
The Team, battered, bruised, bloody… what was left of it… began making their way to the mech, preparing to make their final stand.
The machine beeped, and then whined, and a bright light developed in the doorway.
"Right on time", Dell said with a hint of mechanical whimsy in his vocoded voice.
Dell scooped up Soldier in his mechanical hand, Boudica scooped up Medic's pack, Demo scooped up Sniper in a princess carry, and everyone made their way to the doorway. The enemy was close enough now that they really didn't have a choice no matter what was on the other side, but as Dell scooped up Heavy and Medic in the other arm, he hoped beyond hope…
The scene stabilized, and revealed a scenic American alleyway, opening up into an idealic American street. Directly in front of them was a diner. The whole Team cheered.
Scout turned to Boudica, cradling his MP5 in his good hand, and asked the big question everyone had been avoiding.
"Are you coming with us?"
Boudica hesitated.
"Will I ever go home?"
"If I get a little more free time when we get back", Dell responded, "then yeah, I can build a portal to your own land and time and… universe I guess."
Boudica looked behind her, but didn't see anything she didn't want to leave behind. She sighed, closing her eyes. After a moment of hesitation, she nodded.
"Then let's bloody go", Demo shouted. "Princess Prissybottom here is getting heavy."
"Piss off", Sniper said with a smirk. "If I have to smell your alcohol breath any longer I'm gonna barf."
Demo jumped through first, with Sniper in his arms. Dell went through next, followed by Spy and Pyro. Scout took Boudica's hand, and guided her forward.
As she moved towards the portal, something fluttering in the corner caught her eye. A flag, red, with a white circle. A black symbol in the middle caught her attention, and made her blood run cold. She had seen that symbol on the sails of the barbarians that had invaded her land oh so long ago. The symbol of death, decay, and destruction.
The symbol of the Allfather.