Song Mentioned:
Wuthering Heights, Kate Bush

Band Mentioned:
Nirvana

Chapter 12: Kicked Out

JPOV

Wednesday, October 12th, 2005

She kicked me out of the cabin. Life was moving along; we never spoke about her drunken night or the ensuing mess the next morning—God, it was revolting when she threw up all over me, but I kept that to myself when I saw and felt how mortified she was. We just went on like it never happened. Celebrated Thanksgiving. Went tree climbing. Had amazing sex on the couch after she polished off a few sandwiches and nearly a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Had more sex when I carried her upstairs. But then, one night before we went to bed, she said, "Tex, go hunting with Emmett. Like, when I get up in the morning, I expect you to be gone and not be back for at least five days, got it?"

I couldn't figure out why. I had hunted that morning. I wasn't thirsty. I never once saw her as a snack to nibble on. I loved her too much for that. But when I went to protest, she just rolled over and mumbled, "Special kind of stupid."

Right. I was missing something. No idea what, though. I waited until she fell asleep and decided to call Emmett to let him know about my unexpected availability.

Pacing around, waiting for him to answer, I aimlessly started picking up Anya's dirty clothes from the floor to put in the hamper in the bathroom. Just a habit, something to keep my hands busy.

Then I saw it—a basket of tampons and pads sitting on the back of the toilet.

Aunt Flo.

I stopped in my tracks. I was living with a female human who had menses, and I was the struggling vampire. Of course, she didn't want me around when she was dealing with this. She probably thought it was safer for both of us if I was away. Still, not really my kink but I didn't have the heart to tell her that.

The phone rang in my ear as Emmett finally picked up. "Yo Jazz! What's up?"

"Emmett," I said, my voice laced with a mix of understanding and frustration. "I think I just got kicked out of the house because of... well, you know."

There was a pause on the other end, and then Emmett burst out laughing. "Aww, man. Aunt Flo paid a visit, huh?"

"Yeah," I sighed, feeling a little embarrassed that it had taken me so long to figure it out. "She doesn't want me around while she's dealing with it. And I can't exactly argue with her logic." Even if I don't agree with, as again, not really my kink.

Emmett chuckled. "Makes sense, I guess. You know, just to be safe and all. So, what's the plan? Five days, huh?"

"Five days," I confirmed, running a hand through my hair. "Guess we're going hunting. Think Rose will mind if I crash with you guys for a few days?"

"Nah, man," Emmett started, then paused. "Actually, I think it's best if we both just got away. She's still pretty pissed off at you. Come to think of it, so am I."

Again, my head was spinning. First my girlfriend was kicking me out, and now my brother was angry with me.

Right…they were supposed to be pissed. They were following the plot, playing their parts just like I had asked them to. I hadn't spoken to either of them since I told them how hard it was for Anya to see the role our creator had thrust me into, and how my family was following the narrative as they were written to. But I was thankful that Emmett was continuing to play the part.

"Well, you can take your frustration out on me," I said, forcing a small smile, even though I knew he couldn't see it. "We can work on your sparring skills, bro."

Emmett's laugh came through the phone, but it was tinged with something else—a seriousness that wasn't usually there. "Yeah, maybe I'll do that. But seriously, Jazz, don't think I'm just playing along for the hell of it. You've got a lot on your plate, and so does Anya. But that doesn't mean I'm not pissed off at how everything's gone down. We'll sort it out, but not until after I've gotten in a few good hits."

I chuckled softly, appreciating that even in his role, Emmett was still looking out for me. "Fair enough, Em. I'll take whatever you've got."

"Good," he replied, a hint of that familiar bravado creeping back into his voice. "See you in the morning. Get ready to get your ass kicked."

I hung up the phone, feeling a strange mix of relief and dread. Emmett and Rosalie were keeping up the charade, playing their parts just as they were supposed to, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with. They were mad at me, and part of me understood why—even if it was all part of the narrative. Stupid creator.

I looked back at Anya, who was still sound asleep, oblivious to the turmoil I was feeling. She was probably right that the best thing I could do was leave, give each other some space, and let the play go on as they say.

Five days. That's all it would be. But it felt like so much more.

I wonder how pissed Anya would be if I asked her how long this exile was supposed to last?

APOV

Thursday, October 13th, 2005

If there was one thing about this fictional world, I hated more than anything, it wasn't the vampires. It wasn't the fact that I was orphaned. And it wasn't even how much I hated Meyer's depiction of my vampire boyfriend.

It was fucking menstrual cramps. Like seriously, why? I never had to deal with this back home. What was the point? To remind me that I had fallen for the struggling vampire and at any moment he might snap and take a nibble out of me? I think the fact he never slept, ate, and had golden eyes was clue enough of his vampiric nature.

I eased myself out of bed that morning, thankful that Jasper had left. He did leave me a sweet note though:

Gone fishin'. Back in 5.

Which was hilarious. Was this his perverse attempt at normalcy, that a human boyfriend would run off on a fishing trip when Aunt Flo arrived in town?

I loved the note.

I had just settled back into bed, grateful I'd remembered to pack the pain pills before I left Forks a month ago, when there was a knock on the door. Then I heard Alice's voice.

"Anya?"

Were there spare keys to this cabin we forgot to get when we left Ithaca nearly a month ago?

I groaned inwardly, pulling the covers up over my head, hoping she'd just go away. I wasn't in the mood for company, especially not from someone who could probably smell my discomfort several miles away.

But Alice wasn't one to be easily deterred. The door creaked open, and I peeked out from under the blankets to see her standing there, looking way too chipper for this time of the morning.

"Go away," I mumbled, trying to sound firm but mostly just sounding miserable.

Alice ignored me, of course, breezing into the room like she owned the place. "Jazz told me you weren't feeling well," she said, her voice annoyingly perky. "I brought you some tea."

I sat up slowly, wincing as the cramps twisted in my lower abdomen. "Tea's not going to fix this, Alice."

"I know," she said, setting the tray down on the nightstand with a gentle clink. "But it might help a little. And I thought you could use some company."

I narrowed my eyes at her, not sure if I wanted to be grateful or irritated. "Did Tex put you up to this?"

"Nope," she said with a smile. "This was all me. Jazz's out hunting with Emmett, and I figured you might want someone around who understands how annoying this whole situation is."

I looked at her, really looked at her. And under her chipper exterior, I saw the sadness. Bella. She had lost her only human friend.

"You sure you didn't need this more than me?" I asked softly.

Alice met my gaze, her smile faltering for just a second before she quickly masked it again. "I thought you were the passive reader?"

She had me there. I was. But that didn't mean I couldn't be an ear for her. In Meyer's world, she was mated to Jasper, and he had just gone fishin' for five days. Alice needed someone to comfort her.

I sipped at my tea, letting the warmth soothe some of the ache in my body. "Tell me a story then, and I will be the passive reader," I said, hoping she'd catch my subtle hint.

She was a sharp one. Her eyes flickered with understanding, and she nodded. "Alright," she said, her voice a little quieter, a little less upbeat. She settled back against the pillows beside me, her usually perfect posture relaxing as she began to speak.

At first, her words were careful, measured. She talked about the mundane things, the things that had been bothering her about the move to Ithaca, the loss of routine, the way the family seemed to be drifting in different directions. But then, as she went on, the dam began to break, and the flood of emotions she'd been holding back for the last month started to spill out.

"I miss her," Alice confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. "Bella was... she was more than just a friend. She was someone I could connect with in a way that was different from everyone else. I could see her future, I could see where she was headed, and it was so... reassuring. It was like I was a part of something important, something human. And now... now that's gone."

I stayed silent, just listening, letting her get it all out. She needed this, more than she probably realized. Hell, probably more than I realized.

"And with Jazz gone," she continued, her voice trembling slightly, "it's like I'm floating. I know it's only for a few days, but everything feels so... uncertain. I'm supposed to be the one who sees the future, who knows what's coming. But right now, everything is so blurry. And I hate it."

Blurry. She said blurry. Only one thing made her visions blurry.

My stomach twisted, but I shoved that thought down. Now wasn't the time to panic or jump to conclusions. I needed to be here for Alice, to let her speak and get everything off her chest. So, I forced myself to stay calm, to focus on the moment, and let her continue to speak.

"I've always relied on my visions," she said softly. "It's how I make sense of everything, how I know we're all going to be okay. But now, without them, it's like I'm in the dark. And I can't stand it, Anya. I can't stand not knowing."

It was mid-October. It was too soon for Alice's visions to be blurry. Something wasn't right, but I can't let her see my worry. I nodded at her words, keeping my voice as casual as possible. "How's Heathcliff? Still brooding?"

She rolled her eyes, a hint of frustration slipping through her sadness. "Yes! And he made me promise not to look for Bella, to just forget her. That might be easy for him, but she was my friend first! My only friend."

Alice continued to rant, and the tension in my chest eased just a little. Praise be, I thought, she too is following the plot. This was how it was supposed to go—Edward wallowing in self-imposed misery, and Alice struggling to accept his decision to leave Bella behind.

"Well, Heathcliff is an ass," I said, letting my tone lighten as I began to hum Wuthering Heights under my breath.

Alice paused mid-rant, a flicker of amusement crossing her face. "Really, Anya?"

"What?" I shrugged, the corners of my mouth lifting into a smile. "If you have another song that fits this wallowing of self-pity, I'm all ears. Do you think he's more boyband or old school jazz?"

Alice tilted her head, considering the question. "Boyband?" she asked, as if the idea of Edward brooding to some pop ballad was almost too absurd to contemplate.

"Hey, don't knock it," I said, grinning. "I could totally see him pouting to some '90s boyband heartbreak anthem. You know, something with a lot of soulful wailing about lost love." I mean I did suggest to Eddie Boy in January during detention to channel his inner teen angst and embrace Nirvana, so is boyband that far from grunge?

Alice actually laughed at that, the sound light and genuine, a far cry from the tension that had been weighing her down moments before. "Okay, now I'm imagining Edward with frosted tips and matching outfits for the rest of the family."

Can vampires dye their hair?

I couldn't help but laugh too, the image ridiculous enough to pull us both out of the gloom. "I'm telling you, Alice, we could get him a microphone, set up a spotlight, and just let him belt out his feelings. It might be therapeutic." Is this his various pursuit? A lounge singer? Or does he busk on the streets of Ithaca?

"Or traumatizing," she said, still smiling. "But maybe you're right. He needs something to distract him from all this brooding."

"Exactly," I said, sensing the shift in her mood. "And while he's busy finding his inner pop star, you can help me put together the ultimate 'Brooding Edward' playlist. We'll make sure he has all the right tracks to wallow in self-pity—plus a few surprise hits to shake him out of it."

Alice's eyes sparkled with mischief. "That's actually not a bad idea. We could have a little fun with it."

"That's the spirit," I said, feeling a surge of relief. "We'll make it our project while the boys are out hunting. A new pursuit, just for us."

She nodded; her mood lightened as the idea took hold. "And maybe we'll throw in some jazz, just to keep things interesting."

"Of course," I agreed, leaning back into the pillows. "We'll cover all the bases. No brooding genre left unexplored." Does Eddie Boy even like jazz? Or is it too beneath his pretentious ass? Better question, do I even really care? Answer – big fat nope.

Alice smiled, the tension in her shoulders easing as she started to toss around ideas for the playlist. And just like that, I think I got her to stop thinking about Bella, to stop being tempted to look for her. I wasn't comfortable with us speed reading our way through New Moon.

A/N#1: Would love to know your suggestions for the "Brooding Edward" playlist! Only caveat is they need to be songs released prior to October 13th, 2005 :)

A/N#2: Happy Thanksgiving for my American readers :)