FIRST ARC - CHAPTER 4: FATED NIGHTMARES
"Mother! Father!" he screamed, his voice a shrill cry lost in the chaos. Terror clawed at his insides.
His feet pounded on the crimson cobblestones, a frantic rhythm echoing in his ears.
The world was a grotesque tableau of shattered glass, splintered wood, and bodies twisted in unnatural positions. Blood, thick and dark, seeped from every pore of the ruined landscape.
It wasn't seven-year-old Sasuke, but nineteen-year-old Sasuke sprinting towards an unknown destination. "Mother!" he called out, yearning for her warm embrace to engulf him and end his torment. He stumbled through twisted waves of darkness that surrounded him, piercing his very being.
He pushed open the wooden door, confronting the heart-wrenching sight of his parents lying on the cold floor, draped in blood. Their faces were pale, eyes lifeless and pained. Silence engulfed the dark room, broken only by white moonlight filtering through large windows.
The stench of blood choked Sasuke, making him tremble and whimper. He looked around desperately for help, for any sign that this wasn't real—but the cruel reality was undeniable. His parents were murdered, and he was alive to witness it.
Sasuke turned to his left, seeing his younger self—a seven-year-old child bawling his eyes out, heaving deep sighs and whispering only one name: "Itachi." The child spun on his heels and bolted from the cursed room, with the teenage Sasuke following. He knew what would happen next; the seven-year-old Sasuke was about to meet his hero, his brother, and experience his first heartbreak. These circumstances would shape the boy into the man he'd become.
Sasuke stood behind his younger self as Itachi's red eyes locked onto his little brother. "Itachi, why?" the poor child questioned. His brother stood just steps away, but the distance between them was insurmountable.
A look of disdain and horror etched onto Itachi's face, his features hidden by splatters of blood. His hand squeezed the handle of his kunai before he threw it at the child Sasuke. The boy jumped at the last second, avoiding the brunt of the attack, but the sharp edge still grazed his arm.
"You are not strong enough, foolish brother." With that, Itachi leapt off the wall, casting one last glance at his little brother. Sasuke mouthed, "Ni-san," but Itachi chose to ignore his pleas.
The child Sasuke slumped onto the cold, blood-stained ground. His thin frame shook with muffled sobs, his cries unceasing: "Ni-san, why?" His anguished shouts pierced the air.
The teenage Sasuke, reliving the nightmare, crouched down beside his younger self. As his heartbeat grew numb, he shared the pain with his seven-year-old counterpart. Placing a hand on the crown of his little version's head, he murmured, "It will pass," feeling warm tears stream down his face.
These stinging tears reminded him that he was lying to his past self. Nothing would pass. The pain would never stop. The burns of his wounds would fester and consume his soul.
It would only grow to be worse. It would strip him off of his honour, his right to happiness, his chance at light.
Because his innocence, his childhood, his humanity was lost that day and Sasuke, a mere child, was forced to step into a bleeding darkness, from which he was never going to recover. The teenager Sasuke was the living and breathing proof of the ruin that he had become.
Sasuke turned to a graveyard, where his humanity and his innocence were brutally buried, to make space for the darkness to evade his presence and console him with false power.
For Sasuke became powerless the moment he stepped onto the path that Itachi scripted for him, thinking that his little brother would become the Hero, instead Sasuke ended up becoming the worst of the evils.
And he could only stare at his own demise, blankly, hopelessly and lonely. The evil within him was the predator that kept the light within him captive, to a point where it was snuffed out. He was a hollow shell, a man of immense power, but utterly powerless to escape the prison that his brother and he made for the seven-year-old child.
Sasuke let the younger version of him cry, he let the child Sasuke drop his head to the floor, inhaling dust and metallic taste of the blood, he let himself breakdown, because his teenage years were going to be harder with no space for genuine tears.
As the child Sasuke curled into a fetal position and almost went dizzy with the torture of his fate, the teenager Sasuke allowed himself a moment of weakness.
Because then, Sasuke let himself cry at the thought of the child he could have been, he should have been...the child he deserved to be but couldn't ever become.
Only if he wasn't cradled in a graveyard. Only if he had been treated like the kid that he was...then and perhaps only then, the teenager Sasuke could have had any comforting words to soothe the traumatized child inside him.
.
With a violent jolt, Sasuke catapulted into consciousness, his body a trembling canvas of cold sweat and raw terror. The emptiness of his room pressed in on him, suffocating and oppressive, as he gasped for air like a drowning man breaking the surface.
His lungs burned, desperate for oxygen, while his heart thundered against his ribcage, a frantic war drum echoing in his ears. The nightmare's tendrils still clung to his mind, vivid and merciless, replaying the day of his doom in excruciating detail.
Instinctively, Sasuke curled into himself in a fetal position, pressing his forehead against his knees until it ached. His raven hair, damp with sweat, clung to his neck and face, a stark contrast against his pallid skin.
In the dim light filtering through the curtains, his mismatched eyes darted wildly, seeking threats in every shadow. A whimper escaped his lips, muffled against his legs, as he battled the urge to scream.
The nineteen-year-old's muscular frame, honed by years of battle, trembled like a leaf in a storm. His scarred hands, capable of wielding immense power, now clutched desperately at his arms, leaving crescent-shaped indentations.
You're nineteen, dammit! Pull yourself together!
His mind snarled, a futile attempt at regaining control. But age was no shield against the torment that had seeped into his very marrow, a poison that burned through his veins with each pulse of his racing heart.
The room around him, sparsely furnished and bathed in shadows and faint light, seemed to mock his vulnerability. A katana hung on the wall, its polished surface catching a sliver of sunlight—a reminder of his strength that now felt laughably inadequate.
The clock on the wall opposite him ticked relentlessly, each second an eternity as Sasuke struggled to anchor himself in the present. But time, that cruel mistress, offered no respite. It merely marched on, dragging him inevitably towards another day, another night, and the certainty that this wretched, fateful nightmare would play out again and again in the theatre of his tortured mind.
Sasuke lifted his head, feeling the moisture on his face. As he raised a hand to wipe away what he assumed were tears, his fingers came away stained with blood. A weary groan escaped his lips—the Mangekyo's relentless bleeding with each nightmare had left him utterly drained.
His body felt weighed down, crushed and dragged into an abyss that haunted his soul. Cold sweat mingled with crimson streaks on his marred pale skin. His ragged breaths were a desperate attempt to quell the tempest within, pounding heart, and throbbing head were a familiar routine—one he'd endured since the war's end.
It had been his waking life ever since the war had ended.
Since he'd killed his brother.
Since he'd fought alongside another brother.
Since he'd killed his best friend, his brother—Naruto.
The nightmares never left, sometimes reducing him to tears, other times inciting violence.
Sasuke was tired. Unable to stand, he lay back down, his eyes—hazed with unshed tears and crusting blood—fixed on the ceiling. Grey and white, blank and empty—just like him, he thought. Part of him wanted to sink into the mattress, dissolve into the air, be swallowed by the earth, or burn in the heat of his memories.
Then, the babble and gurgles of a baby pulled him from his depressing trance. Beyond his door, muffled cries reminded him of his new reality.
Haruto.
Yes. His life had changed, transitioning into one he knew he'd struggle with.
Hinata.
She would make all the difference in his already spiraling life. With that thought, Sasuke pushed himself up from the floor and dashed to the bathroom, pausing to glance at the sole picture on the wall—Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto, and himself.
He had to visit Sakura at the hospital for an arm check-up, which he dreaded. He didn't want to face her questions, knowing her likely reaction to his stay with Hinata.
He growled as cold water hit his sweat-slicked skin, the icy shock a stark contrast to the lingering heat—an anomaly. Seething, the burning pain in his bones ached and ached then numbed gradually.
Emerging from the tormenting shower, Sasuke stood dumbfounded in the empty room, wrapped only in a towel. He wondered about his clothes—I didn't think this through—having barged into Hinata's house the night before, forgetting his necessities at Kakashi's.
But knowing Naruto and his attention to Sasuke's needs, he checked the cupboard. There, he found a rack full of clothes: black shirts, and black pants. Who knew Naruto had a brain?
Well, Sasuke always knew. A wry smile tugged at his lips. Of course, Naruto would have thought of everything.
.
.
.
Sasuke emerged from his room, his wet hair dripping and clinging to his neck, dampening his back as cold rivulets trickled down his face. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back and shaking his head before walking towards the dining hall.
A high chair at the dining table caught his attention, its occupant a bobbing head of golden hair. The blonde baby clutched a soft toy, shaking it and letting out squeals as chiming bells jingled.
As Sasuke approached, he took in the scene: to his left, an archway opened to the kitchen where Hinata deftly manoeuvred two pots on the stove, her dark hair framing her face like curtains.
Again, Sasuke felt like a stranger in the scene—which he was—but somehow, it felt right. The baby's sparkling blue eyes shot up to assess Sasuke's looming figure, gaping at him. Sasuke abruptly covered his unusual purple eye, fearing it might scare the child. Instead of crying, the chubby infant's lips curled into a wide, toothless smile. His eyes shone with wonder as he shook his toy joyfully, his other hand curled into a little fist dancing in the air as he bounced in his seat with sputtering giggles.
Weird. Naruto's son for sure.
The baby's small hand reached out, clutching Sasuke's sleeve and tugging. Floppy golden hair fell into the child's eyes, which Sasuke hesitantly pushed back.
His coarse, war-marred hand felt dry and alien against the baby's petal-soft skin. Sasuke wondered if he'd ever interacted with a six-month-old before. I don't think so, he mentally answered himself.
Hinata approached the table without a glance at Sasuke as if his existence were inconsequential. She placed a wooden bowl on the baby's tray—mashed bananas with milk. Sasuke gagged. Is that what babies eat? He remembered learning about it theoretically, but witnessing it in practice was jarring. The unfamiliar terrain of parenthood left him bewildered.
Hinata's fingers traced gentle circles on Haruto's chubby cheeks, her eyes filled with a warmth that seemed utterly foreign to Sasuke. She regarded her child with such tenderness that it mirrored Naruto's words about her, "Haru."
Sasuke stood silently at the edge of the table, observing a mother feeding her son. The scene evoked a memory of his own mother in the kitchen, young Sasuke watching her every move as she spoke kindly about random things, her gentle hands coaxing food into his mouth just as Hinata was doing now.
Pale face, dark eyes, demure and soft—she bore a striking resemblance to his mother.
A shudder passed through Sasuke as he pushed away the intrusive memory. The past was a graveyard, its secrets buried deep. He turned to Hinata, his voice a low rumble. "Have you thought about the seal?"
She wiped Haruto's lips with the soft bib around his neck, finally looking up at Sasuke. Her eyes were as empty as his own—a familiar sight. "I will talk to Hokage-sama about it."
Sasuke sighed. "Alright." He noticed his sleeve still clutched in a small fist. As he tried to pull away, the baby grasped his finger tightly. Baby's fists are strong, he mused. Or perhaps it's because he's Naruto's son. His thoughts wandered freely.
His dilemma of standing like a ghost before a mother and son or pulling his hand away from the baby's grip shattered as Hinata freed Sasuke's hand from Haruto's grip.
Suddenly, he felt empty. Hinata again avoided his eyes as if a mere glance could infect her—not that Sasuke craved attention, but her disregard stung.
You knew this would happen, his inner voice soothed his bruised ego. Her cold indifference bothered him, which was bizarre. He'd faced indifference from more significant people without a twinge, yet her cruelty cut deep.
Sasuke offered as he rounded the table, heading for the kitchen, "I'll go to the tower; you can come with me."
Her stern reply came as he grabbed an apple, "I can go on my own."
Sasuke returned to the table, cocking an eyebrow, "Let me rephrase. I'll go to the tower. You will come with me."
The chair leg scraped against the floorboard as Sasuke sat opposite Hinata. She fixed him with an empty, dead glare, her jaw tense and knuckles white as she gripped her spoon.
She heaved a sigh, "Let me rephrase. I will go on my own." A cold rebuke. A stubborn defiance.
"Can you, though?" Sasuke countered, taking a bite. He disliked reminding her of her weaknesses—it felt like rubbing salt in wounds—but her stubbornness left him no choice. He had to be the devil she already thought him to be.
"What—" she began, her frown deepening.
Sasuke glanced at Haruto, happily licking his lips clean. He mimicked Hinata's earlier gesture, wiping the baby's chin with the bib.
Sasuke smirked, "I've heard you haven't left the house for two months. Your friends handle groceries, and ANBU delivers. Makes me think stepping outside must terrify you."
Hinata nearly slammed her spoon down but, remembering her son, pushed it under her palm instead. "Is that what Naruto told you? Using people's vulnerabilities for your gain?" She swallowed a shout.
"Nah," Sasuke shrugged. "But you're incredibly stubborn, deaf to logic. Hence...strict measures." He gulped water, avoiding her fiery gaze. It was petty revenge, asserting dominance after being so blatantly ignored.
"You—" she gritted her teeth, but he cut her off again.
He finally met her eyes, leaning across the table. His face neared hers—too close. Her eyes fluttered shut, breath hitching.
He didn't need Sharingan to read the fear shadowing her pale face. Yet she held her ground, clenching her jaw and glaring as if aiming a kunai. Her pale eyes carried defiance like a shield, barely masking her anxiety.
Lavender and jasmine wafted toward him, a soft, intoxicating fragrance clouding his thoughts. He gulped, his dark eye boring into hers. "Gain?" he echoed, voice tinged with derision. "What do I gain from you, Hinata?"
She bit her lip, searching for words. "I—"
"What can you give me?" Sasuke sneered at her assumption. What fucking gain? What could she offer? Could she silence the voices in his head? Banish his nightmares? Make him feel human? Restore his childhood? Let him taste happiness? Could this broken woman mend Sasuke's shattered pieces?
Could she undo his self-inflicted damage?
Could she erase his sins by resurrecting Itachi and Naruto? Could her lilac eyes ever accept his existence?
Could she truly see him? Unlike everyone else, could she perceive beyond the ex-avenger persona he endured, thanks to his sins?
No. He thought. She couldn't. He assumed.
Hinata abruptly stood, her chair scraping against the floorboards as she dragged herself away, averting her eyes yet again.
Sasuke straightened, watching her speechless retreat. Her silence seemed to confirm his assumption—she could offer him nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Sasuke sank into the plush cushions of the living room sofa, his voice a low rumble. "Get ready. We're leaving in fifteen minutes."
Hinata's hands froze, utensils clattering against the sink as she fought against a rising tide of anger. "No—" she began, her voice a defiant whisper.
He raised his voice like a sharp command, ensuring she caught his words. "I don't think I've given you any choice." Patience wasn't one of Sasuke's virtues—as if he had any virtues to begin with—but she was testing him to his core. He leaned his head back, huffing in annoyance.
She circled the dining area, scooped her babbling baby into her arms, and rushed upstairs, snapping, "I don't think I need you to give me any choice!" Her thumping footsteps mirrored her frustration.
Sasuke let out a scoff, followed by a dry, humourless laugh. Hinata was everything he hadn't expected. That once-meek creature was now snapping at a man capable of wiping out all of Konoha, if he willed it—if he used his Rinnegan to its full capacity.
But he had an unspoken promise to Naruto: to stay loyal to the place they both called home, even when that home had tortured them. Konoha was only acceptable to Sasuke because of Naruto, and its people were under Sasuke's protection only due to his sudden, miraculous burst of goodness—his desire to atone.
Otherwise, Hinata's tone would have been nothing but a reason for chaos.
But now, he laughed at her audacity. Grief had certainly given her confidence—enough to stand up against a man like Sasuke.
.
.
.
Unbeknownst to Sasuke, Hinata had slipped away from the house like a shadow at dawn. The Uchiha, having succumbed to an unexpected slumber, his head lolled back and eyes sealed shut, remained oblivious to her stealthy departure.
Upon awakening, a maelstrom of emotions surged through him—frustration, anger, and a hint of grudging admiration for her audacity. Hinata's obstinate decision to venture to the Hokage tower alone ignited a fierce irritation within him, his blood simmering like a volatile potion.
Why must she be so infuriatingly stubborn?
His jaw clenched, teeth grinding audibly as he strode to the door, slamming it shut with such force that the very foundations of the house seemed to quiver.
Outside, the world was awakening from its frosty slumber. The air, though still crisp, had lost its biting edge as the sun climbed higher, casting a warm golden glow over the village. The roads glistened with melted snow, creating intricate patterns along the edges of the cobblestone pathways.
Sasuke's feet navigated the damp terrain with practised ease, his every step purposeful and measured. His mismatched eyes—one onyx, one ringed purple—scanned the bustling streets with laser-like focus, searching for any sign of Hinata amidst the morning chaos.
The village pulsed with life around him. Shopkeepers raised their shutters with metallic clangs, the aroma of freshly baked bread wafting from nearby bakeries.
Children's laughter echoed as they scurried to school, their backpacks bouncing rhythmically. Mothers called out last-minute reminders, their voices a melodic counterpoint to the general hubbub.
Yet, despite the vibrant tapestry of life unfolding before him, Sasuke remained fixated on his mission. Hinata—the woman who had become the bane of his existence in a mere day—was nowhere to be found among the throng of villagers going about their morning routines.
His frustration mounted with each passing moment, a palpable aura of irritation surrounding him as he continued his relentless search.
Minutes continued to pass, the streets began to become even more crowded and a tempest began to brew invigorating noise and movement; a scenery which Sasuke detested — But Sasuke couldn't just blitz towards the Hokage Tower, knowing that his meek creature with claws and fangs was roaming somewhere with a mental stability worse than his own, so he continued to walk the path. The stinging pain continued to pulse in his eyes, blurring his vision momentarily.
Seething and wincing, he reached the hospital which was also initially his destination considering his appointment with Sakura, but he still hadn't found the centre of his existence — her — Naruto would probably nag and burst his eardrums if he was beside him, thinking of leaving Hinata, so for his best friend, Sasuke walked pass the hospital.
His eyes caught the very familiar golden hair, Haruto's, wrapped under a furry beanie. He was nestled in the arms of a girl whose head was bowed, her existence was bundled up in a long white jacket, purple scarf around her neck which was pulled up and covering half of her face — winters aside, Sasuke knew that she was trying to hide herself with those heavier than herself clothing instead of countering the chill winters.
Her gait was hurried, meek but unnoticeable — for others, but not for him, she couldn't have been blended into the scenery for him. Because the miniature copy of his best friend that she carried was the dead giveaway of who she was.
His feet which were till now waltzing on the street lazily, moved with an inhumane speed and led him a few steps behind her, with sudden impulse.
The little boy had his chin perched on her shoulder and he caught Sasuke's presence, his bright eyes widened and he lifted up his head, bobbing it in a manner which screamed enthusiasm and recognition, his tiny fists grabbed onto his mother's dark hair and tugged to which she didn't respond instead continued to walk faster.
She knew he was following her — she had a freaking Byakugan. A familiar pattern emerged a game of cat and mouse that had become a twisted dance between them.
Sasuke called out for her as he taunted, knowing that she heard him despite the noise of the village surging around them, "You know, you are good at this…sneaking away."
She paid no heed to him, not the first time she had ignored him, Sasuke was getting habitual, "Well, it makes sense…you were in a tracker team after all."
Proud of his research on her, Sasuke continued to grate on her last nerves, the twitch in her frame and the jostling need to run away from him were loud reactions from her.
Some of the gossiping crowds around them were speaking too loudly, isn't she the Hyuga heiress? Oh, isn't that Naruto Uzumaki's child? She had a child before marriage, a very unfitting act from a Hyuga! — Hearing all that nonsense, reaffirmed Sasuke's belief that war or no war, the people of Konoha were pests regardless.
No wonder Hinata had been avoiding going out in public for two months, her already deteriorating mental health definitely did not need a nosey public and their unnecessary opinions.
Hinata's body trembled under the assault of whispers of her surroundings, the cutting words clawed at her resolve which she mustered up to counter Sasuke. Instead of speeding up, she was cloaked with a relentless need to just be swallowed by the ground beneath her.
Her son who was beaming a few minutes ago was now restless in her arms, letting out shrieks of annoyance, the upbeat energy dampened by the foul mood of his mother. Hinata seemed to shrink, if that was even possible, her frail figure felt like a wisp of smoke furling in the air, vanishing.
Talking about teams — a jarring scream made her still on the pathway, her hand balled into a tight fist at her side. Sasuke leaned to the wall on his left, becoming the observer in the scene unfolding. Hinata didn't move an inch, remained frozen, head down and eyes shut.
"Hina-chan!" A boy was sprinting towards her, calling out for her with a sense of urgency and desperation, Hinata stepped back as she gathered her deflating courage. Sasuke could see her side profile, despite the cool breeze whipping at her face, her pale skin was dotted with sweat and her trembling lips were chewed with force.
Those all-seeing eyes of hers were squeezed shut, unresponsive towards the man with markings on her face and spikey hair running towards her.
The hyper-scattered chakra, the canine scent, the infuriatingly blaring voice — Inuzaka Kiba.
Hinata lifted her head, and darted her look to her left where she was heading. Heaving a deep sigh, clutching the back of her restless son in her arms, she opted to ignore the approaching teammate of hers and headed towards her destination, her pace quickened. Sasuke cocked his eyebrow at her actions — so it isn't just me she avoids, he thought to himself.
The perplexed teammate of hers scowled at the way she chose to not acknowledge him and attempted to escape, the heir of the Aburame Clan was alongside Kiba, holding onto his shoulder to restraint him but Kiba jumped on his spot, sputtering some ear-splitting words for which Sasuke had no interest for.
But the look of relentless chase was very familiar in those dark eyes of Inuzaka, Sasuke knew he was going to catch up to Hinata, despite her attempts to run away and vanish.
Before Kiba could follow her and destroy whatever the courage she gathered within herself to step out of her room, with the speed of the lightning Sasuke cruised towards Hinata and was behind her in a blur.
Her breath hitched, her back almost pressed to his torso. Haruto was dozing off on her shoulder, his face obscured by the scarf smartly blanketing him. Sasuke leaned down to her ear, "Come with me!"
"No!" She sternly rebuked, not looking back at him and not backing down. Not moving away from the towering figure of Sasuke either, to assert her dominance, her strength.
"Fine."
"Hina-chan! Wait!" From a short distance, a resounding and screeching bark from her annoying teammate was heard. Sasuke knew it was enough persuasion.
Sasuke was amused, and offered his firm taunt, "Still no?" Sasuke chuckled, to get on her nerves, to piss her off, because as much as he intended to protect her and was guilty towards her, her hardheaded actions and behaviour gnawed at his last nerves.
There was a pause; the frigid air swirled around them, and the birds chirped and added sweet noise to the otherwise harsh cacophony of the street. Hinata's shoulder slumped, the fight momentarily waning from her body as she looked over her shoulder at him and grimaced with a look laced with anger and resignation.
Sasuke leaned forward to take her fisted hand, prying open her fingers to interlace them together with his. Her hand was cold but soft, like velvet. His was war-marked, coarse and rough. A weird contrast.
A frown etched on her face as her lips parted to let out a string of defiance-filled resistance. "Ssh, hold on to me tightly, Hinata."
She didn't. But he did! Squeezing her hand a little, his purple eye stung as it opened a portal right before them, "Step into it," he whispered as he pushed her forward.
The encroaching noise of her teammate was cut off in an abrupt motion as Sasuke and Hinata ended up opposite the Hokage's office door. The guards bristled on the spot, stance ready for a fight. But one of them was a known comrade of Hinata; Sai, who stopped the other ANBU masked man from striking.
"Uchiha? What are you doing here!" Sai queried.
Sasuke glanced at the startled figure of Hinata and then fixed his eyes on Sai, "Hinata would like an audience with the Hokage."
Hinata pulled her hand from his grasp with a harsh jerk, "I can speak for myself," her voice was barely audible as she was out of breath.
She moved towards Sai, who broke the protocol and rid himself of the mask and offered her a moon-eyed smile, which for Sasuke was as fake as it could get.
But as per Sakura, the Danzo boy was redeemed; just like Sasuke. Was I even close to redemption? His mind wandered.
"Hinata-san, how are you?" Sai asked.
"I am fine, I'd like to meet Hokage on priority," Hinata patted Haruto's back as she replied, not asking for Sai's well-being which was something a girl like Hinata would have, as per Naruto's yapping about her, but Sasuke knew way too well that the Hinata he had encountered was thrown far away from her realities.
The Hinata he encountered was merely a shell of a hollow being.
"Sure," Sai agreed. His ANBU partner almost swivelled on his spot to grab Sai, but Sai nodded at him and lifted up his palm as a gesture to halt any altercations. "Hinata-san, let me inform the Hokage first." He looked back at Hinata, his lips stretched into a very unnatural smile, which Hinata seemed to acknowledge with a nod.
Sasuke informed, "I have an appointment with Sakura at the hospital, I will pick you up in half an hour."
"I don't need that!" She whipped her head back, fuming with irritation which coloured her cheeks crimson. Her jaw clenched as she gritted her teeth, enraged by the audacity of Sasuke. The contempt in her words, the tone laced with loathing.
The Gods be witness, because of the way those lilac-tinted eyes held him captive in that moment, Sasuke was never looked down like that ever, instead of aggravating him, her livid eyes and ireful conduct made him swallow a lump and step back.
It was like how she slapped him last night with blow after blow of her crushing words; but now, it was her eyes which were holding him accountable for every sin he ever committed and leaving Sasuke defenseless.
But knowing his duty to protect her, even if it was from her own self, Sasuke sighed and gulped the poisonous retort on his tongue and responded, "You do. I will come."
Her furrowed eyebrow deepened and those damn eyes narrowed on him, before she could yet again torment him with defiance, he used his prickling Rinnegan to rush out of the tower in a blitz with a flash of purple light.
He found himself in the white-painted sterile corridor of the hospital. People in white coats were moving through, in and out of the doors lined up to his side.
Gasping for air, he tipped his head upwards and inhaled and exhaled rapidly with eyes shut to soothe against the ache pulsing in his ocular nerves. Light brush against his prosthetic arm jostled him and he flinchingly backed away.
"Sasuke-kun," Green eyes, warm and inviting unlike her lilac ones, greeted him.
Sakura. A girl he hated facing; after all, she was one of his victims who graciously gave him a chance like Naruto did. Guilt and regrets gnawed at his core as he met her eyes, sputtering words unknown to him, "Sorry, I was…"
"It is okay. You are here for your arm right?" She smiled brightly, and he nodded. She hooked her arm with hers and led him to the room, pushing him towards the bed as she withdrew the curtains surrounding it. "Sit down." He followed and sat on the firm mattress.
The metal frame scraped along the floor as he adjusted on the bed. Sasuke's eyes squinted under the bright white lights, Hinata's house had warm lights, and suddenly his mind wandered towards her. Sasuke shook his head and refocused on Sakura who was slipping on medical gloves.
"Sasuke you'd need to take your shirt off, or at least the sleeve." Her voice was calm and professional.
Sasuke unbuttoned his shirt, a task made a lot easier with his other arm now intact, dropping the shirt from one side only, he let her assess the prosthetic.
She tugged on the muscles where the arm was attached, gently lifted his arm up and did a rotatory motion, which didn't lead to a wince from him, unlike the first few days.
Sakura beamed to see the improvement, "Great! It is going well. Just be careful with heavy lifting if possible for a month or so." Sasuke complied mentally and buttoned his shirt.
She picked up the clipboard hanging from the stand, jotting down notes of his health. "Did you take your medicine?"
Sasuke absentmindedly answered truthfully, "No, I left them at Kakashi's."
"Aren't you staying there?" Her eyes were glued to the pages attached to the clipboard, flipping through his reports and prescriptions. Sasuke mentally chided himself and looked down at his wrists, attempting to ignore them while he cuffed his sleeves.
"Sasuke-kun…have you spent the night without any shelter?" Her ungloved hands cupped his cheek, making him face her and brushing his bangs away from his forehead, her cold touch almost made him recoil, "You could have come to me!" She scowled.
Sasuke held her wrist, to push her a step back as gently as he could. Sakura took the hint and maintained a distance.
"I stayed at Hinata's," Sasuke mumbled, getting off the bed abruptly, hoping the scraping of the metallic frame against the floor muffled his confession.
But Sakura was a ninja, a good one, she heard him and almost dropped her clipboard to the floor which Sasuke caught and then placed on the edge of the bed, avoiding her eyes. "What do you mean?"
Sasuke acted nonchalantly, shrugging, "It is my house too, remember?"
"Are you out of your mind?" Sakura put her hands on her hips, glowering at him.
"Yes. But…it is necessary." Sasuke scowled back, unable to control his exasperation.
"Sasuke-kun," she huffed, "Look…Hinata is not well! I told you."
"Trust me, I know she isn't," Sasuke nodded; he knew it, he saw it, he felt her killing instinct when her chakra-laden finger was jabbing her throat — he knew how unwell she was the most.
"She detests you," Sakura clutched her hair in vexation.
"I know that too," Sasuke snickered; a dry laugh at the irony of Sakura exposing Hinata's ill feelings for Sasuke when he had faced them already; after all she slapped him yesterday and stomped on the mighty Uchiha pride.
Groaning, she continued, "She hasn't been meeting any one of us for two months, she is spiraling!" Sakura thrashed the pen in her tight grasp, "She is getting worse day by day. I can't even imagine how is she now as you so insensitively barged into her already crumbling life!"
"I know, Sakura." Annoyance bubbled inside Sasuke. The conversation was taking too much of his time, he needed to be there at Hokage's tower otherwise, Hinata would again sneak away without him and torture herself among the public with her undying anxiety nipping at her core.
Sakura grumbled, "Then why are you ruining her!"
Ruining her? Sasuke snorted, "I have ruined her life when I killed Naruto-"
Sakura slammed her fist with a joke of a force on Sasuke's chest, her eyes brimming with anger and unshed tears at the mention of Naruto, "Shut up! It was an unfortunate mistake!"
Sasuke grabbed her by her arm, steadying her collapsing frame, "Not for her, Sakura. She doesn't believe me."
Sakura's voice mellowed, her eyes downcast, "Because she is going through so much…"
"I know. I saw her almost on the verge of killing me yesterday then breaking down the next moment," Sasuke explained, reminiscing the words she threw at him to cleave his soul and then the hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she took in the reality of her weakened state.
Sakura backed away, wiping the tears with the back of her hands, "You shouldn't! If this is about the house-"
"Sakura!" He snapped, "Do you think that low of me? House? Really? I am living with her because my dying best friend asked me to take care of her! It is for Naruto!"
Sakura's glazed green eyes widened at the understanding, "Sasuke-kun…"
"I have to leave!" He announced as he walked away, he knew his actions were hasty and would not be acceptable by the lot, but…he knew what he was doing.
He couldn't tell Sakura about the nine-tailed chakra inside Haruto, because Hinata had already slapped some sense into him last night at the revelation that Sasuke exposed that to Kakashi and Orochimaru without the mother's consent hence he didn't repeat the same mistake.
His scalding pain again throbbed on the front of his skull as his Rinnegan teleported him to Hokage's tower in a flash. Landing before the guarded door again, he took an excruciating deep breath, his red eye swirled into a black pool as his nerves calmed down.
"Uchiha?" Sai stepped forward, squeezing the shoulder of Sasuke, who was crouched and panting.
"Is she inside?" Sasuke stumbled but got off the floor, his nightmares had been eating away the strength from his eyes making his day-to-day harder than it already was and now he was a weak picture in front of a guy who was his replacement. Pathetic, Sasuke. His mind snarled at him.
Sai nodded.
"I need to go inside."
Sai shrugged, "If Hokage allows." Sai pushed the door open and went inside. As if Kakashi would deny him. Sasuke rolled his eyes.
Sasuke glared at the other ANBU guard who held a strong grip on his Kunai pouch while tilting towards Sasuke. As if he could kill me. Sasuke griped to himself mentally, his face twisted with sickening irritation. The distaste churned within him.
Sai emerged from the office, "Go inside, Uchiha Sasuke."
Sasuke entered the office, and Kakashi's eyes immediately landed on him, questioningly. Oh, please, not you too! The resigned look was forthcoming, very evidently.
"Sasuke." Kakashi regarded him from his high and mighty seat and sat behind his desk cluttered with stacks of documents, two half-empty cups of stale and soggy ramen cornered on the table beside the Hokage headgear.
Opposite the Hokage, sat the girl whose long midnight-colored hair dangled on the back of the chair. The babbling and gurgling of a familiar baby was echoing in the room.
Crossing the distance, Sasuke reached beside Hinata and sat on the chair alongside hers, "Kakashi."
"Why are you here?" Kakashi asked, propping his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his palm.
Sasuke lifted his palm, pointing at the stiffened girl beside him, who held the baby like a prized treasure on her lap with her hand caressing the baby's head inadvertently, "To take her back home."
"I don't need you to do that!" She hissed. Her eyes mirrored her distaste. Sasuke didn't like her eyes, at all, they were too cruel, too empty, too unlike the girl Naruto had talked about.
Sasuke feigned ignorance and quieted, didn't respond, knowing that she'd lose. A frantic frustration played along her features, her hand fisted and the usual stoic and unacknowledging presence of her turned to a very present being who was out for his blood. "Sasuke…" His name her mouth sounded like she cursed, there was abhorrence in her tone.
"Hinata-chan," Kakashi called out for her and she turned her head towards him, her eyes softening.
A weird weight pulled down on his insides, noticing that her eyes woven with disdain were solely for him.
"Let's calm down and discuss the matter at hand first." Kakashi offered her a crinkly-eyed smile, to which she bowed and looked down, her look glued to her cooing baby.
"About the seal?" Sasuke shot a question.
"Yes. I explained to Hinata-chan about its importance and also an apology was required because we knew about it for four months while the mother was kept unaware," Kakashi fixed his gaze on Sasuke, "So…Sasuke?" He shook his head and wiggled his eyebrows at Sasuke.
Sasuke received the hint, considered the odds as his pride was eclipsed by the promise to Naruto and apologized, if that convinced Hinata of the absolutely necessary sealing then Sasuke would bow, for Naruto, "I am sorry. My intentions were not questionable." Kakashi's dark eyes went wide as he apologized softly like the cool breeze sighed.
For Kakashi, witnessing Sasuke's humility like that was as shocking as bringing the dead back.
Only during the council interrogation did Sasuke break and now, Kakashi's lips curled into a twisted smile, a flicker of affection passing through his eyes as if his chest filled with pride to see what atonement and the loss of Naruto had done to Sasuke.
"So…Hinata-chan, as decided, you can accompany during the sealing sessions. As per your request, I will be there as well as Sasuke-"
"But-" Hinata lifted her head up, protesting at the mention of Sasuke's involvement.
"It is safer to have Sasuke with someone like Orochimaru," Kakashi leaned forward and uttered with kindness marring his features.
Hinata threw a quick side glance at Sasuke and then turned back again to face her Hokage, "I don't want him in my house at least."
Sasuke shot a glare at Kakashi, shaking his head as he sat straighter with steeling resolve to put up a fight if Kakashi messed up his plans, "Legally, it is his house too." Kakashi huffed, "And I am not favouring him but consider him as a housemate?"
"No!" Hinata curtly asserted.
"Hokage-sama," A woman, shorter than most with dark hair framing her face and styled in a bob, dressed in a casual blue kimono and haori entered the room, with another stash of papers which she slammed on the desk with a pant.
Wiping the sweat from her forehead, her brown eyes fixated on Hinata and gentleness coursed through her entire body visibly. "Ah, Hinata-san, good to see you, after so long!" She slightly bowed.
A token of respect for a Hyuga Heiress to which Hinata responded with a weak smile, so she knows how to smile, Sasuke squinted and assessed Hinata's demeanour.
Hinata recoiled in her seat with another figure in the room, she sank back, lowering her gaze, focusing on holding the tiny body of Haruto tightly. Taking a deep breath, she looked up to address the woman who had nothing but a wide and relaxed smile for Hinata.
She stammered, as if summoning any push for social interaction was vexing, "Shizune-san, n-nice to m-meet you."
"How is this little guy doing?" Shizune scooted closer to Hinata, flicking Haruto's cheek with tenderness.
"Good. Really good," Hinata bit her lip, nodding and expressing with a slight frown.
"Hinata-san, you have to keep on visiting me or Sakura for your weekly check-ups," Shizune held Hinata's shoulder and squeezed, concern laced her tone, "You need to have a speedy recovery…I am sure Haruto will be more handful as he gets older."
The Shizune woman didn't notice but Hinata physically flinched under the notion of her needing any recovery, some sensitive nerves of Hinata were definitely pressed despite the well-intentioned approach of the medic-nin.
Hinata complied, eyes downcast, one of her arms wrapped around Haruto, the other clutching the armrest of her chair with an insurmountable force, "I will."
Shizune was clueless about the way her harmless medicinal assessment was bothering Hinata, she continued, "How is your Byakugan? Is it still blurring your vision? Are you still catching fevers easily or having constant vomiting?"
Hinata gasped, her lips pressing into a thin line, she whispered a small "Y-Yes." She fidgeted on her seat, Haruto was leaning back on her chest, looking up at his mother with beady eyes as she trembled.
"Your case of Byakugan weakening with Chakra depletion is extremely serious, your treatment was delayed for …two months, right?" Shizune straightened up, frowning. She continued to muse. "How is your Chakra control, did you practice any Jutsu?"
Shizune brought out her medicine pouch and rummaged through glass bottles, bringing out a blue-tinted small jar, "This…take this, apply it around your eyes while sleeping. This will help the pathways for Byakugan."
Hinata's shivering hand reached out and took the jar from the medic-nin, "T-thank you."
Shizune smiled widely, "Happy to help. But I suggest you come for your regular treatment as per schedule, because your Byakugan might not be saved but we need to work on your Chakra…Chakra weaknesses have worse aftereffects like weakened immunity causing fever and constant nausea-"
Sasuke noticed the way Hinata's pale eyes were red-rimmed, burned with stinging unshed tears, the burden of her failing body and eyes were stomping her spirit. The constant reminder of being weak was making her soul quiver as evident by the goosebumps rising on her exposed arms, the rapid rise and fall of her chest and the colour leaving her face.
"Kakashi," Sasuke witnessed Hinata's increased breathing and grunted at the Hokage to keep their little medic in check.
Kakashi rose from his seat and held Shizune's arm, "Shizune-san, I appreciate your medical curiosity but Hinata-chan and I are discussing some grave matters, so if you-"
"Oh, I apologize, Hokage-sama." Shizune's face flushed with embarrassment as she apologized.
"It is fine." Kakashi smiled. Shizune took her leave after acknowledging Hinata with a light pat on the shoulder and dropping down to peck Haruto's cheek.
"I need to g-go," Hinata choked out a faint whisper. Slowly getting off the chair, propping Haruto on her hip, she spun on her heel as the wave of dizziness coiled around her.
Kakashi was quick to grasp Haruto slipping from her arms and Sasuke managed to whirl around the lined chairs and landed behind her as her body hit his torso. His hands holding her arms at her side, steadying her frame.
Sasuke whispered from behind, "Sit down."
She winced, struggling to get out of his grasp, her elbow jabbing Sasuke's towering frame behind her, "L-leave me-" her frustration was evident.
"Ssh!" Sasuke spun her to make her face him, holding her by her shoulders. "Don't be fucking stupid!" He hurled his words at her, momentarily stopping the panicked struggle.
A strain pulsed through her entire body, she grimaced at the tone Sasuke used. The tattered being, the eroded edges of hers, weak, yet trying to be strong-willed — Hinata was barely discernible, if Naruto were here, he wouldn't recognize his lover.
Hinata sat down on the chair with her shivering hands intertwined at her lap and head bowed down as her long hair framed her face at the sides, while Kakashi cradled a near to crying Haruto in his arms with no expertise at all.
Sasuke looked around, took in the reality he was living and gruntled.
But before he and Hinata could have a battle of words yet again, the loud thrashing at the door caught their attention and their heads turned. The door swung open; Hinata's teammate, Kiba stormed inside, yelling his heart out, "Hina-chan! It took me an hour to find you!"
With a loud bang, the door slammed shut, but ANBU were already behind him, holding on to his enormous arms to restrain him. The Aburame Clan Heir also arrived, the buzz of the bugs around him made Sasuke feel like something crawled up his arm too.
"What is all this, Kiba…and Shino." Kakashi's brows knitted together, jaw tensed. Sasuke knew that man's patience was wearing thin.
Kiba marched inside, ANBU following him with every step, "We saw Hina-chan on the way but this…this Uchiha took her away." Kakashi gestured at the guards to leave the room.
"She ran away from you," Sasuke shrugged. Hinata got off the chair, the chair was tipped back with a force that it fell on the floor.
Kiba lunged at Sasuke, holding his collar and sputtering rage, "You used your cursed eye to take her away!" Shino grabbed Kiba by the neck to pull him away from Sasuke, thankfully, because Sasuke's patience was already non-existent so he couldn't control the violence weaving its way in his veins at the unsolicited attack from a man way too inferior to him, but he endured, for her.
She stood immobile on the spot. Kiba paced towards her, standing before her, holding her by her shoulders and bringing her rigid and unyielding frame for a soul-crushing hug.
His big arms were around her frail body, while hers lay limp at her side, her face pressed onto his chest with anguish reflecting in the glassy lilac eyes. "Hina-chan, I missed you. Where have you been!" Relief laced his tone.
The silent one, Shino, spoke up, "Kiba, calm down."
Kiba pulled away from the hug, keeping her in his proximity, "How are you?" His big eyes raked over her body.
She swallowed, managing a curt response, "Fine." The tone repelled even Sasuke but Kiba couldn't read the plea for distance in her response. He cupped her face and brought her closer to him.
"You haven't been eating properly? Look at you…you lost so much weight! You look so weak." He was caressing her cheeks, which she was not enjoying, judging by the way her eyes were boring holes into the floor instead of facing her friend.
Hinata pulled back, as she yanked his hands off her face, "It is fine."
Kiba shook his head, rattling whatever resolve she was gathering within her, "No, Hina. It is not fine. You are not fine. You can't just shut yourself in your house and cut off from us. Especially when you are going through all this. We need to be there to protect you."
"I don't need protection from anyone!" She spat; her eyes lifted up to finally meet her friend's. The venomous reality from Kiba's words bit her, tarnishing her self-esteem.
Shino stepped between Kiba and her, attempting to soothe whatever was seared, "Hinata, Kiba means well."
Kiba insisted, his voice rising, "Of course, I mean well. And how come you do not need our protection? We met Shizune on the way here, and she told us that you are not looking after your health at all. Your Byakugan is weak right now, affecting your eyes-"
"Kiba!" Shino sternly stopped him, turning towards him and throwing a shade-covered glare.
"But-" Kiba protested.
Shino turned back to Hinata, putting his hand on her shoulder, "She will ask for us when she needs us."
Kiba continued to yap, mindless about the way his words were jolting her, agony skittering within her with each slap of reality that her own friend gave her, Sasuke wanted to intervene but he put himself in their position and imagined a third person butting in the matters of Team 7 and that felt disastrous.
He was unaware of how their team dynamic was but the overly protective nature of both the boys for her screamed that they also loved each other, "She needs us right now. Look at her…Ino gave birth too, but she is healing-"
"Everyone is different when it comes to healing," Kakashi raised his voice, the blood rushing to his face indicating the anger bubbling inside him.
Hinata squeezed her eyes shut, her fists clenching and unclenching as she tried to regulate her heavy breathing.
The shattered and hollow look marred her features, she seemed like she was on the precipice of despair regarding her failed existence, it was a knowing picture because that was how Sasuke felt every time his nightmares showed him how much of a big failure he had been.
The voices around him blurred and muffled as he continued to watch Hinata crumble piece by piece, her insane stubborn nature melting away and making a way for self-hatred to coat her being.
Ragged gasps escaped her bruised lips, her eyes went droopy as if the dizziness was a hug she chose for herself, that look was the look of a person who resigned herself to the cruel fate.
While Kakashi and Shino forced some logic and sense into Kiba, Sasuke witnessed Hinata's fall; how she was pelted by harsh stones of gossip from the public and then well-intentioned but demoralizing concerns from her doctor and her friend.
He was sure it was not the first time, as she was expertly juggling between the pull of the gravitational pain and slumber and the tethering spirit and courage lifting her up as her baby tried to lap towards her with wide sparkling eyes.
The weight of reality pressed upon her, visible by the way her shoulders dropped and knees quivered as if they were screaming to just give up. Her eyes lifted up to meet her son again and again as she craved the stability of her breathing, she was reliving the unwavering nightmare while remaining paralyzed by the hits.
She inhaled sharply, shuddering shiver ran down her spine as she backed away making her flinch, almost making her stumble. Dizziness loomed over her, waiting to pull her under. Her sanity grappling with the last vestiges of strength she could muster within her, to keep her afloat as she teetered on the brink.
The edges of her being were eroded with regrets, storms of guilt about being weak and unworthy trapped her, burdens of her past stature as a shinobi, the heavy pelting of her name as a Hyuga and her newly found pain of being a weak figure kept crashing down on her.
Fuck it! Sasuke zipped towards Kakashi, abruptly taking Haruto away from his arms. Haruto's small arms wrapped around his neck and his little hands found the spikey hair at his nape interesting enough to grab and tug.
Settling him properly in his arms, he sauntered towards the motionless figure of Hinata who was struggling to steady her breathing.
He stood before her, she looked up, the hazed eyes met his resolute ones, and he offered her his hand which she just gaped at.
Grumbling, Sasuke leaned to grab her soft hand, intertwining their fingers together again and pulled her with a jerk towards him, "We are going home," he whispered before his cursed eye created an opening in front of them, which caused the stirring between Shino and Kiba to stop, a loud shout from Kiba cut through but was left hanging in the charged air because Sasuke pulled himself and her within the portal, landing themselves in the middle of their living room.
Haruto whimpered, Hinata grabbed him in her arms quickly, rushing upstairs without speaking a single word to him. Her steps thumping on the wooden floor, echoing in the warmly lit empty home. His new home. Only home.
Sasuke craned his neck side to side, the tension bubbling inside his veins causing shooting pain, he cowered and flinched.
But the day did not end, he had to leave for Kakashi's place and bring his bags to his new home. Thinking of rest as a once for all option after everything is settled, he forced his feet towards the door, to again go out and grab his things.
Rinnegan was already exhaustingly painful, due to which Sasuke preferred to walk to his destination.
Bringing his things to her house, it was anxiety-inducing, Sasuke was never easily rattled but the imagery of him embracing the life within that house with her and Haruto…scared him. Naruto, is this what you want?
He wondered, looking up at the clear blue sky, finding the eyes of Naruto in that colour, asking him if the fated nightmares Sasuke himself had and the nightmare she was living could bring them closer enough to become…something, someone…like friends?
.
.
.
The night had descended upon him, the sky was darkening, the air turned chilly, and light snow rained on him and danced around him like specks of light as he propelled further towards her house.
A heavy bag mounted on his shoulder, carrying his all necessities, weighed him down as he dragged his boots, trudging through the thickening snow beds.
Bundling up his necessities did not take him hours but the reality of leaving Kakashi's abode, only to be unwelcomed at Hinata's made him flinch and sit for hours on Kakashi's porch.
Kakashi came and shook him out of his trance, and asked if he could do what he was planning, Sasuke responded with no surety. Because even Sasuke was uncertain about the decisions he took, and the cost that came with it. His mind was a whirlwind of uncertainty.
With silence as his only companion and the biting cold nipping at his exposed skin, he chose to move forward, towards a destination where he knew he was going to have nothing.
The thin layer of frost on the cobblestone pathway of Hinata's house glinted in the moonlight. His footsteps echoed softly as the frost crunched beneath his boots. Facing the door, shivering in the cold, he rapped forcefully on the door, rattling the dangling light overhead.
No response.
Stubborn princess. He grunted. His Rinnegan shot up with another flood of ache as it pulsed to life, vibrating the air around him and rippling causing him to land in his empty room. He was almost forced against the wall as he landed. The continuous usage of Rinnegan in the entire day added to his fatigue; he was still not fully accustomed to the new eye.
He tossed his bags into a corner, deciding to unpack them later.
Emerging from his room, he noticed the dimly lit hallway and dining room. The kitchen was dark, but the living room was illuminated by a soft glow. His curiosity piqued, he stepped into the living room.
Hinata was huddled on the sofa, her knees drawn up, one hand wrapped around her legs, the other gripping the crib rails, gently rocking the sleeping baby. Her head was buried in her knees, her feeble body wracked with sobs.
Her sniffling was followed by a series of shuddering breaths and jolting shakes in her shoulders. She unwrapped her hand from her legs, running it through her hair, her fingers tugging at the tangles. A wince escaped her lips, a muffled whisper. Her grey shirt hung loosely on her emaciated frame.
Sasuke was unsure of his actions regarding the scene unfolding before him. How do I console her? He wondered; his mind speechless.
Measured and purposeful steps drew him closer to her, her once healthy body now a mere shell, her muscles atrophied, her skin pale and gaunt holding together the sickly bones. The silence between them stretched, her sniffling subsiding, a sob caught in her throat.
"Hinata?" he spoke in an audible whisper.
She lifted up her head; her eyes were half-lidded and teary, her nose was red, her lips were chapped and bruised, cheeks were hollow. Her hair was a tangled mess, framing her face. Her expression was a frozen mask of solemn anguish. Rigid like a monument of despair and fury, she peered at him.
Her look was keen yet withdrawn as if she warred with her emotions.
A bitter taste of guilt swirled in his mouth. He knelt in front of her, and her dazed eyes followed his movements. His strength was choked away, the entire day he was fuming at the guts of that girl and now looking at her in shambles, being the reason for her ruin, his resolve started to chip away.
With despair clinging onto every inch of her being, she straightened her slumped posture, still hugging her calves tightly to hold herself from falling, "Please…" her breathing laboured, "Leave." Her request hit his core with a resounding thud, should I leave? He questioned himself.
You can, Sasuke. Naruto won't blame you. The sane voice reverberated in his head, and throbbed in the back of his skull.
Her normally piercing vacant eyes were far from empty, they looked at him with deep-seated grief, lingering on every lineament of his face. Every crease of stress on his pale skin, every line etched by hardship, was scrutinized with a lingering, almost desperate gaze. It was not a fleeting glance, but a prolonged interrogation.
He rasped, "I can't."
She choked out, a flicker of anguish igniting in her pained grimace, "You pity me."
He scoffed, "I pity myself."
"You don't belong in my life." A single tear glistening like a fallen star trickled down her cheek, before it could stain her skin, his hand reached out and with a swipe, his thumb wiped off her tear, a light caress on her skin from his cold hand.
His frosted touch made her stiffen, he withdrew his hand instantaneously. Idiot. The sane voice bellowed.
Sasuke had a sudden urge to brush away that tear, he hoped that she was aware she was probably the first woman in his life after his mother who was at the receiving end of his tenderness, that he never believed he had.
"It was painful, even when he was here," she sniffled, scorching memory flashes seemed to unsettle her, "The first two months after Haru…I was weak then too but it didn't hurt this much!" Agony seeped out of her words; acidic torment crackled in her voice which was heavy by the sobs lodged in her throat.
The tears streamed down her face, Sasuke remained kneeling before her, his chin raised, his gaze unwavering. A subtle twitch betrayed the stoicism that masked his emotions.
She squeezed her eyes shut, "Nobody forced it down my throat that my Byakugan, for which I tortured myself…is so far gone. Nobody put too much thought about how fragile my body was…because Naruto was there! Because he was a stronger presence, capable and determined."
Her eyes fluttered open, her lips trembled, and her small hand latched onto his collar, "Hinata could hide behind Naruto with her waning strength…Hinata could stop her mind from regretting having a child because Naruto was there for her…but you took him away from me!"
A shudder ran up his spine, "Hinata-" His helplessness mirrored in her glassy eyes.
Her breath hitched before she began spitting fury, "Do I regret Haru? No! But do I regret being his mother? Yes…Because he doesn't deserve the pathetic excuse of a mother who can't even stand straight holding him! A mother who can't even feed her own child some milk because of how insanely her Chakra depletion has affected her! A mother who can't protect him if the nine-tailed within him is a threat to him or if Orochimaru attempts to play any sick game…with Naruto by my side, my losses could have been insignificant…but now they are loud! Out for everybody to pick and notice."
Her existence seemed to only be there, instead of being alive — Sasuke could see the hopelessness of being nothing within her. Her words attacked herself, but the scalding was on his soul, knowing that he did take her shield away from her. His insides roiled with regrets.
Her existence withered in front of him, with each onslaught she aimed at herself.
He tried to breathe some hope into her, ironic coming from a boy who himself had no hopes for his life, "You will be fine, Sakura-"
"I won't be fine!" She shrieked, a subdued shout, she yanked his collar away, leaning back on the sofa. Both hands clutched a bunch of her hair at the sides, "I won't be how I was before. I won't be a Kunoichi! I know the reality!" She coaxed an acceptance out of herself.
The warmly lit lamps around the room cast a soft glow at her pallor, he began only to be interrupted again, "With training-"
Hinata punched both of her fists on her knees, "Sakura-san can cure my post-pregnancy scars with her love and empathy but she can't mend my body or my Byakugan! She can't bring me back my strength which I earned with long hours of gruesome training. I know my future…and it is fine! It would have been fine to just be alive if I didn't have a child depending on me solely. I was accepting all of it…when Naruto was with me."
Her venomous tone startled him. He grabbed her wrists to prevent her from harming herself with assaults on her knees, pulling them back to her sides. "You seem to love your son too much to say that, Hinata..."
"Of course, I love him. I love him the most! He is my greatest blessing!" She yanked her hands from his grip, and pushed on his shoulders, making him stumble back.
She pulled her legs onto the carpet, leaning forward with head bowed, she cried out, "But why don't you get it? He doesn't deserve a mother like me…do I want my son to feel that his mother is a weak woman, incapable of protecting him? Parents should be a beacon of love and protection, right? I wanted to be that for him, but I can't now! In this state…I can't. Kiba-kun, Shizune-san…everyone is right, I am the weak one who needs protection…what kind of a pitiful and miserable mother I am!"
"Strength comes in different ways," Sasuke said, pushing himself off the floor and sitting cross-legged. Sasuke stared at her in an attempt to find the broken threads within her, to sew her hollowed self back to wholeness.
Hinata pushed her hair back, bitterly snickering as she added, "Rich coming from you who sought power and strength leaving behind everything!"
Sasuke shrugged, "And I am not proud of my choices."
A solemn and strained smile tugged on her lips, "He must have forgiven you by now, Sasuke. You don't have to seek any atonement with me and my son here." Her voice firm and resolute.
"You are not my atonement. I told you already last night!" Sasuke gritted his teeth. Standing up and towering over her, he fervidly said to her.
"Then why are you here? What is your purpose?" Hinata stood up, her wilting frame attempting to assert dominance. Her face was lifted, her shoulders squared.
The huge window sent in the cool breeze, along with the shimmering glow of moonlight which was juxtaposed with the warm glow emanating from the hanging lights overhead. He stilled under the assault of crisp and frigid air, "I told you before too…I am just here to protect you."
With a surge of courage, the grating pain on her face morphed into a hard scowl, "Just like you protected Naruto?" She spat, folding her arms across her chest. Her voice carried a tinge of defiance and pain, a small detail which spoke volumes about her conflicted state of mind. The kind and gentle girl in her fought back with the harsh girl she had to become.
He groaned, running a hair in his dishevelled hair, a sharp hiss from him, "You can't hurt me, Hinata. No matter how much you try."
He pulled her closer by holding her arm with a tight but not unkind grasp. She let out a startled gasp as he leaned down, to match her eye level.
Her breath hitched at the proximity; his smoky breath fanned her face as she took in the lack of distance between them. Hinata shifted uncomfortably in his hold, swallowing a gulp while she had her eyes shut. Her fiercely maintained armour faltered.
Hinata gasped, fumbling with the words as her lips parted, letting out ragged breaths and no coherent words.
A low rumble of his voice picked her attention as she met his gaze, "I am not here to replace him! But I will do what he was supposed to do— protect you and your son." He slowly withdrew his hand from her arm, she scooted a few steps back with heavy breathing. "I don't know but I am sure bringing a baby who carried a nine-tailed chakra must have taken a toll on your health and strength…to a point that now you seek solitude to not appear as weak…but you are not weak. You are simply a human."
"A mother. A failing mother," she whispered, her hand trembling as it clutched the fabric of her skirt. She collapsed onto the sofa, her feelings of inadequacy crushing her once again, suffocating her resolve to keep going.
The venomous lie she told herself—a lie she had come to believe—cut deep into her fragile courage, tearing at the edges of her sanity and shrouding her willpower.
A pang of something sharp prickled in his chest — a sense of familiarity. He had felt weak too, when he was left helpless by his own damn self after he took away his brother's life, or when he found Naruto's limp body lying in a crater, a deep scorching hole in his chest caused by Sasuke's Chidori.
His brows furrowed as a wave of empathy, once foreign to him, surged up, crashing against the walls of his guarded heart. Stepping closer to her crumpled form on the sofa, he watched as she buried her head in her delicate hands, her sobs muffled but raw, the flaring agony in her cries a sharp contrast to the frigid air swirling in the room, stirring her disheveled hair.
He crouched down before her, gently pulling her hands away from her tear-streaked face, forcing her to meet his gaze. Her eyes flew open, wide and startled, locking onto his own dark, stormy ones, the confusion and doubt etched clearly in her expression.
The weight of self-loathing hung heavily between them, her soft hands limp and cold in his firm grasp. He tugged on them gently, drawing her closer until her nose almost brushed against his.
"Sasuke-"
A mirror image of her despair must have reflected in his own eyes too as her words were cut off, by her own restraint, she saw him with in raw unguarded essence.
The edges of Sasuke, which were sharp, eroded or bruised — she witnessed everything in the lines she could see clearly from up close. She saw him stripped bare of his prideful pretence.
And he saw her, in her truest essence — the softness in her pale dead looking eyes, the devoid-of-will look spreading over her face which was a canvas of the tumultuous agitation. The cracks in her lips were wounded by the relentless bite of her teeth. Hollowed cheeks with a faint crimson shade shadowing her skin.
The shock of her afflictions clinging onto her through welled up tears pooling in her eyes — the warring suffering of what had happened and what could never happen, evident in the way her frail body sank under the scrutinizing gaze of his.
At that moment, she finally looked like the girl Naruto had always spoken about—warm, kind, soft, and everything otherworldly.
Sasuke knew he was someone who should have died but didn't. He figured that Hinata was someone who should have lived to the fullest but didn't.
They remained still in their closeness, noticing each of their brokenness. The weight of their shared pain tethered them together, an invisible thread woven from the strains life had mercilessly placed upon them.
Sasuke's hand, still clasped around her wrist, felt the rapid pulse beneath her skin, a stark contrast to his own steady, almost lifeless heartbeat.
"Tolerate me, Hinata. As much as you can. Hate me if you need to. But if I took away your shield, the least I can do is become one for you and your son."
His breathing was halted, while hers was rapid, "You won't be able to stay long anyway, Sasuke. This life will be hard for you."
His voice was an icy shard, piercing through her molten fires, "I have never backed out from a challenge."
She blinked away the mist of tears clouding her vision and leaned back, forcibly yanking her hands free from his grasp. The warmth of her hand lingered on his skin, but she curled into herself, pulling her legs up onto the sofa, and wrapping her arms around them as if to shield herself from the emotional tempest.
Her gaze flicked to the crib at her side, where her baby slept peacefully, unaware of the turmoil of his mother. Satisfied that he was still asleep, she turned her attention back to Sasuke.
All his life, Sasuke had felt barren, incapable of providing any solace, but his promise to Naruto was a chance to change that — he could provide something to her, only if she accepted with open arms, he couldn't fill the void left by Naruto which she held in the center of her heart — as if his absence and memory was an arresting force and an anchor which made her live, but he could be the shelter for her son and perhaps cure the insecurity of a failure that she endured.
With a slow, deliberate movement, Sasuke rose from the floor, his tall figure casting a shadow over her. "I am a boy who has nothing to give you, except my power. You are a girl who has everything except power. It is a fair chance for you, isn't it. After all, if anyone could match Naruto's powers, it was me."
His words hung in the air, a challenge, a plea, and a promise all rolled into one. The room seemed to hold its breath; the tension thick enough to cut through.
Hinata chuckled dryly, her laugh carried a disbelief, "Power…for the world, yes. But in here…dealing with a baby…I don't think Sasuke Uchiha's mighty Sharingan or Rinnegan would help." Her tear-soaked face reddened with annoyance, as Sasuke wasn't backing down, no matter what.
Sasuke tipped his head back, a groan of pain escaping as the tense muscles in his neck throbbed, the strain of his stubbornness manifesting physically. "I'll find a way," he muttered, his voice resolute.
"You're impossible and stubborn! Just leave me alone!" Hinata's voice cracked with exasperation, her frustration boiling over. She grabbed a soft toy from her son's pile and hurled it at Sasuke, who effortlessly caught it mid-air.
Undeterred, she continued to throw toy after toy at him, her commands to leave her alone growing more frantic. His unrelenting behaviour in the face of her agony pissed her off.
Sasuke witnessed her multiple moods in the span of one day, the female species were always hard for him to comprehend. He huffed at the challenge that Hinata herself was.
"And you're just as stubborn," Sasuke remarked, a slight shrug accompanying his words as he caught the barrage of toys. He stepped closer, leaning down to stop her hand mid-throw, his grip firm but not harsh as he prevented her from tossing a plush blanket at him. "Ssh, don't act like a child. You have a child now."
With a flicker of amusement in his dark eyes, he bent down, slipping one arm beneath her knees and the other around her back.
In a swift, fluid motion, he lifted her off the sofa, pulling her close to his chest. "Sasuke!" she cried out, her voice quickly softening as the realization of her sleeping baby dawned on her.
Her initial shock turned to anger as she smacked his shoulders with one hand, the other yanking at his collar with sharp tugs. "What do you think you're doing?" she hissed through gritted teeth, her wide, moonlit eyes blazing with sudden fury. His response was a smirk, the hint of a challenge dancing in his gaze as he carried her with ease, despite her struggles to break free from his arms.
The room, once tense with their conflicting emotions, now hummed with an electric charge, the clash of their wills creating a storm of its own. Sasuke's unwavering determination met Hinata's fiery resistance, the space between them seared with unspoken emotions and unresolved tension.
"I don't know about kids, but I know how to handle stubborn adults," he mused as he ascended the stairs towards her room, "You acted like a child so I am treating you like one…tucking you in to sleep!" He flashed a smirk at her, she looked enraged, her hand clawing at his back but her fragile hands couldn't damage the hard shell of Sasuke at all.
Fuming, she reminded him, "Haru…"
He interrupted; his tone matter-of-fact. "I will bring him to your room too."
When they reached her bedroom door, Sasuke kicked it open with ease, striding over to the bed before unceremoniously dropping her onto the mattress. "There you go. Now, sleep!"
Hinata scrambled upright, pointing a trembling finger at him, her eyes blazing with indignation. "This is maddening, Sasuke... How dare you—"
He cut her off with a dismissive glance, turning on his heel. "Let me go get your little one." Ignoring her outraged protests, he left the room, leaving her sitting on the bed, mouth agape and eyes wide with wrath.
Sasuke needed her to stop drowning in self-doubt, to stop lamenting her perceived inadequacies. She had to start living again, to take those first tentative steps without the crippling fear of failing Haruto.
Her worries about Haruto's safety were simply Sasuke's matter — and he was determined to be there for them whether she liked it or not.
Naruto had entrusted him with a promise, and Sasuke intended to keep it, but in his own way—unorthodox, perhaps, but effective. The promise was about taking care of his family; which included both Hinata and Haruto.
He wasn't Naruto, so he lacked the acceptable nature and ways, but what he didn't lack was effectiveness.
Because once he picked up a blanketed baby from the crib in the living room and went upstairs to drop him beside his mother, the girl who had been crying for hours non-stop and letting the demons in her head dictate her self-worth had fallen into a deep slumber, in just a matter of minutes. The rage had drained from her, replaced by exhaustion that had finally overpowered her.
Sasuke approached the bed quietly, gently placing Haruto in the crib beside her. He lingered for a moment, his gaze softening as he looked down at the baby. Without realizing it, his Sharingan spun into life, capturing every detail of Haruto's peaceful face.
The little one had his thumb nestled securely in his mouth, his tiny fist curling around it with a determination that brought a fleeting smile to Sasuke's lips.
Hesitantly, Sasuke reached out, prying the thumb from Haruto's mouth, only to have the baby's hand immediately grasp his finger in a tight, familiar hold—just as he had done earlier that morning. And as he stood motionless in the dimly lit room, something within him shifted.
For the first time in a long while, Sasuke felt the faintest echo of something he had nearly forgotten—hope.
Sasuke did not fathom how and why, but his heart, which had been encased in a stone, seemed to stir with something faint and unusual — a heartbeat.
.
.
.
The next morning, before she was awake. He rushed out of her house, after freshening up and donning his usual gray shirt and black pants. To seek a win in the challenge that she presented to him, he needed knowledge which only some people could give him.
Getting the address from a gaping Kakashi, he followed the directions and landed on the second floor of the mentioned building, standing before a door that was marked with bold red number, '13'. His knuckles rapped on the door, as decently as he could manage, to not disrupt the peace of the humans around.
The door swung open, and a woman with dark black hair tinged with red emerged and gave him a shell-shocked look with her vivid crimson eyes. She pulled the door further open, revealing her frame dressed in a long sleeveless red dress, with an apron tied on top of it.
"Sasuke Uchiha?" She sounded confused.
He addressed her, attempting to rid the stern shade off of his tone but failed, "Kurenai Yuhi, I have got your address from Kakashi."
"To what do I owe this pleasure?" She cocked her eyebrow.
Kakashi was right, she'd be a hard one, annoying even, but he had no plausible choice except her.
"I need you to teach me." His jaw clenched.
"Genjutsu?" She snorted, humouring herself.
He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, you are funny. Good."
She leaned on the doorframe, "I am not a sensei anymore-"
Sasuke interrupted, he had no aim to entertain her or waste his time, "Teach me how to deal with a kid…more like…an infant."
"What?" She choked on her own spit.
"You heard me." Sasuke watched her go through multiple strokes in a span of a minute. His unhinged presence at her door remained glued.
If I am doing something, I might as well do it the right way. Sasuke thought. He wasn't going to give any reason to Hinata to question his competency. At all.