If you read this deeply, you will find a lot of sadness :(
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FIRST ARC - CHAPTER 7 - FATED PEACE
Sasuke swirled the glass in his hand, watching the dark, scalding liquid move in lazy circles. Lifting the drink to his lips, he took a slow, deliberate gulp, feeling the warmth trail down his throat, spreading through his chest. It did little to settle his restless mind, still spinning from his earlier encounter with Hinata. Was I too harsh? He intended to let Hinata know that she was crashing, and it was not something her child deserved. Perhaps, his ways put a crack on her already dwindling resolve. Fuck.
The constant hum of chatter filled the room, a blend of laughter, clinking dishes, and lively voices, yet it felt like nothing more than a white noise to him. Sasuke was a world apart from the others, tucked away at the bar counter, secluded in his own shadowed corner.
His back hunched slightly beneath his jacket, the leather creaking as he leaned forward. Sakura and her friends had gathered around the booth, awaiting food. Even though he was invited and supposedly accepted, Sasuke knew that there was nothing there for him with faces he never considered friends.
He had noticed the air around them crackled when Sasuke entered the restaurant. Familiar faces from his past had stiffened in their seats, casting furtive glances his way. A thin layer of unease settled over the group like a film, and even though Sakura's bright smile had greeted him with warmth, the others' subdued reactions told a different story.
It didn't surprise him. He wasn't meant to belong here, not without a particularly loud, obnoxious presence to bridge the gap.
And it prompted him to think about a familiar blonde with a whiskered face, his best friend, whose absence was gutting Sasuke from the inside out. A heaviness settled on his chest, pressing the pain inside, making it hard for him to breathe.
If Naruto had been there, the place would have been alive—buzzing with energy, overflowing with laughter. Ichiraku Ramen would have been the venue, not some BBQ grill house. Naruto would've thrown an arm around his shoulders, grinning like a fool, yapping about something nonsensical. That high-pitched, cheerful voice would've grated on Sasuke's nerves, but he would've endured it just to see the whiskered face split into that infectious grin.
If Naruto had not been killed by Sasuke, then Sasuke would not have been alone, drinking away the anguish roiling within his existence. A heavy knot of resentment towards himself and remorse for Naruto settled in the pit of his stomach, aching him and burdening him with the echoes of regrets. The drink in his grasp felt heavier as if his guilt had seeped into the glass.
Beneath the soft glow of the hanging bulbs, Sasuke slumped further, the weight of his jacket pulling at his shoulders. His forehead hovered near the cool countertop, the scent of spices, charred meat, and alcohol wafting up from the surrounding tables, bothering his senses which were accustomed to sweet scents of Lavender and Jasmine due to one pale-eyed difficult woman. He sighed and gestured for another drink, Sakura kept glancing towards him while he indulged. He avoided her eyes.
She wanted him to be friendly with the team, and show his realness, irony. Sasuke mentally snickered, thinking that every one of them had already seen his real self when Sasuke was terrorizing the world. What else did he have to offer the world anyway?
A cold hand tapped on his shoulder, Sasuke's sharp gaze flickered to his side, landing on Sai, who had taken the stool next to him, his expression as unreadable as ever.
"How are you?" Sai asked with a full smile stretched onto his lips. Unlike Naruto's effortless grin, Sai's smile showed a conscious choice.
Sasuke's reserved answer didn't make his company waver, "Fine."
"How is Hinata-san?" Sai raised his hand towards the bar attendant, asking for his usual.
Fine did not seem like a truthful answer, so he commented, "Same." Sasuke hoped that his lecture did some damage to her stubbornness and pushed her towards resilience.
"She is going through tough times," Sai shrugged, nodding. Sasuke's index finger unknowingly tapped on the counter, filling the silence between them when he chose to not continue that line of conversation with Sai.
Sai's smile dropped, and his back straightened as Sai reached into his jacket and pulled out a small, worn book. "I picked this up at the village library. It outlines the developmental stages of babies—might help with Haru." The brown leather cover looked old, the pages yellowed and creased from use. He slid it across the counter toward Sasuke with a practised, gentle smile.
"You are a new father yourself—"
"I got another copy for myself too." He reached out to pat Sasuke's arm, shivers rushed in his veins. Konoha's people loved touching him without warning. Sasuke's dark eyes flitted between Sai's pale face and his grasp on Sasuke's arm, a crease formed on his forehead which made Sai retreat his hand with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"Thanks," Sasuke replied, shoving the book into his jacket's pocket. Naruto would have been proud of his one step towards people.
"Teme, you need to work on your people skills," Naruto had once berated him with a taunt while they were throwing punches at each other on the training ground, "Especially before I am appointed as the Hokage, I need you by my side then…as my most trusted man, you'll take so many responsibilities…for which you need to get along," Sasuke remembered snorting at his best friend's expectations.
But now the slipping memory stung like a nightmare, as if he had any lack of nightmares of his own, the memory faded as Sai offered a wide smile hopping off the counter and made his way back to the booth where familiar people were huddled and sharing stories with mirth on their faces.
Could Hinata ever do all this? Sasuke's mind reeled, noticing the new mother Ino giggling as she leaned on Sakura and made a jab at Shikamaru who rolled his eyes in return. Could Hinata heal too and be at that table? A question turned the cogs in his head.
"Sasuke Uchiha," Sasuke didn't realize that he was approached by another boy of his age, with eyes hooded by shades and the high collared jacket almost covering his mouth.
Sasuke added, impassively. "Shino Aburame."
Shino cleared his throat, his hands digging into the pockets of his zipped jacket, "I had never made your acquaintance before, but I am here to let you know that my clan and I remain at your support."
Sasuke scoffed, leaning back, "You have shown that during my interrogation, Shino." Sasuke slammed the empty glass on the counter with a loud thud, not out of anger but out of frustration of his mind fogging. "You are here for her, aren't you? Ask away?"
"We have been made aware of your stay with Hinata," Shino's barely visible brows twitched and furrowed, "Initially, I was against it. But knowing about Haru and your abilities to withstand Hinata's outbursts—I have come to terms to accept the new development."
Sasuke's mind went back to the day of sealing; an audience witnessing the great Sasuke Uchiha getting impaled by a significantly weak Hyuuga girl. Her warm chakra piercing his chakra pathways, rendering his arm useless was the highlight of his life. His body failed while he held her feeble body in his arms— all of it was an anomaly in which he lived. Surprisingly.
"I'd like to make myself and my clan's resources available for her, so feel free to ask me for anything for her sake," Shino's voice broke through the haze.
Sasuke waved him off. "Kurenai is already helping. I'm not sure what you can offer that would make a difference." His voice was flat, dismissive, though he wasn't entirely ungrateful. He simply didn't know how anyone, not even Shino's clan, could help untangle the disaster that Hinata had become.
Shino gave a small nod, his posture shifting slightly as if to leave. "Yes, I know. It's because of her verdict that I accepted this arrangement. I had hoped Hinata would rely on us, but… I understand that she needs space."
"Shino?" Sasuke's call held him captive on the spot, Sasuke slid off his swivelling chair, shoving his cold hands inside his jacket's front pockets. His eyes rove over Shino's lean figure, almost as tall as his, definitely as quiet as him as well. "How is she as a person? Naruto's Hinata was a very different person." he blurted out, the curiosity simmered in his core, wondering about the views about her from her closest people. Cold dread was travelling up his spine.
Naruto could have been spellbound, blinded in love and mistaken in his judgment.
"The most human shinobi. Her kindness has no end. Her compassion is her strongest virtue. She sees the world with deep-seated empathy because she herself came from a cruel fate from her family's end. She had built herself from scratch, she sees the world with faith and good in everyone."
Shino breathed in deeply, his head lowered a bit, "I understand that the current scenario has made her an entirely different person…perhaps, difficult as well," he lifted his head and regarded him with a knowing look, "But she needs love, she will pick herself for sure, she needs time. I appreciate your presence in her life, I believe you would be a change for her…she doesn't know you and neither do you…so she can let it all out in front of you. With us, she can feel small. And I know that is precisely why she has been pushing us away."
"That is the most you've spoken," Sasuke raised his eyebrow. His fingers twitched inside his pockets, unsure of how to respond.
"For her, I would do anything, even if it means trusting a Uchiha with her," Shino's jaw clenched when he responded, "I have never met anyone as genuine as her, as beautiful and big-hearted as her. You will know her…once she heals, she'll be Naruto's Hinata…and hopefully, even better."
Shino's words held a fragility, the way he even pronounced her name had a delicate lilt to it, which brought an unbidden question to his puzzled brain, "By any chance, are you—"
His line of questioning was immediately decoded as Shino let out a muffled groan, his body stiffened, "She is my sister."
Sasuke shrugged, accepting the truth that he was given. What startled him was that Naruto's opinions about Hinata were the universal view of her, but the Hinata Sasuke tended to face every day for the past three weeks was a woman who wielded her grief and suffering like searing swords and ripped his skin off his body with ease— with her accusing eyes and belittling words.
Shino claimed, his voice barely audible as the chirping from Sakura and Ino started to break the veil around Sasuke, "Take care of her, Sasuke. Once she comes to her senses, she will give back to you…in her way."
"I don't want anything from her." Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment, before he confessed, "I just want to keep my promise." Before Shino could respond, they were interrupted by the sound of hurried footsteps and excited voices. Sakura, bright-eyed and smiling, reached for Sasuke's arm, while Ino grabbed Shino, dragging him back to the booth.
"Sasuke-kun, dinner's arrived! Come on!" Sakura's voice was light, Sasuke let himself be pulled along, but his thoughts lingered; heavy and unresolved, about the woman he had left behind in her home.
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Shikamaru, Kiba and Shino sat across Sasuke. Sasuke was pressed with Sakura who was holding on to his arm with such emotion and caution as if he was going to vanish in thin air or cause a riot if he wasn't anchored. Beside her, Sai and Ino were glued to each other.
The mundane conversation buzzed around him, his mind was way too puzzled to focus on all the irrelevant details of new recruits of ANBU which Kiba was complaining about or the lack of sexual encounters for Sai and Ino due to Inojin's haywire nap timings or Kakashi's lateness as lamented by Shikamaru or how Sakura was short-staffed — the realization of Naruto's absence kept on hitting the shores of his mind like a strong wave.
"We are missing Choji and Hinata here!" Ino mused, munching.
Naruto isn't here either, Sasuke thought bitterly but kept the words locked inside, hidden behind the grim line of his lips.
Sakura's voice wavered, almost cracking under the strain of unshed tears. "Naruto..."
Silence descended, thick and suffocating. His hands on the table curled into a clenched fist, and his eyes remained focused on the plate before him. He could feel the flitting gazes upon himself by everyone around him at the mere mention of Naruto. Sakura fidgeted beside him, her knees bouncing up and down while seated as she was jittery.
Ino cleared her throat, ripping the cloak of quiet draped over them. "Yes, we miss him dearly." Her words were feathery, spoken with earnest wistfulness. "But…we must move ahead, we have Haru with us now. New additions in our family." Her attempt at steering the conversation away from grief was gentle but clumsy.
"About Haru, I hope he is fine," Sakura turned her face to Sasuke, her statement was more of a question directed at Sasuke.
Sasuke straightened, leaning back on the back of the booth. His fork and knife dropped on his plate with a sharp metallic ring. "He is good," he assured, his eyes meeting the worry swimming in Sakura's frowned stare.
"About that," Kiba began, twirling his fork in the air with casual aggression. "You, Uchiha!" he barked, "I know you are living with Hina-chan, I'd like to drag you out of her house by your collar but apparently…everyone here trusts you to do right by her, I don't know why!" His sneer deepened, dark eyes seething as they locked onto Sasuke.
Sakura slammed her fist down hard, her knuckles whitening from the force. The table quivered, utensils rattling and clattering onto the wooden surface as water and sake splashed from their glasses. "He deserves to be trusted! By the village and the world, he helped save and that shows his loyalty to Konoha!" Her green eyes flashed with a fiery intensity.
Sasuke, seated at the far end of the booth, leaned back lazily, his face shadowed beneath the flickering overhead lights. Though he had prepared himself to take the brunt of Hinata's friends' judgments, there was a quiet need within him to correct Sakura—one that rose despite the tension in the room.
His voice was calm, but sharp, each word cutting the air like a blade. "My loyalty was to Naruto, not Konoha. If he had chosen to abandon it, or told me to burn it to the ground, I would've done it in his name."
Sakura's breath caught in her throat, her eyes widening as her grip tightened on his forearm. Kiba's smirk reappeared, smug and satisfied. "See? I told you!" he barked, the corners of his mouth pulling into a twisted grin. "The traitor hasn't changed. You all whine about how Hina-chan treats him, but—"
"You're missing his point, Kiba." Shino's quiet voice broke the growing tension. He had placed his napkin down methodically, his movements precise as always, before resting his hand lightly on Kiba's shoulder.
Sasuke was surprised to hear someone else besides Naruto understanding his dire need to be loyal to those who meant the world to him; the only thing which had separated Naruto from Sasuke was the high morals and non-selective loyalty of Naruto while Sasuke was self-serving and always chose his loved ones over the world.
Like he stated about the possibility of choosing Naruto over a damn village, had it been his last wish.
"Point or not, I just want to protect Hina-chan," Kiba grunted, yanking his friend's hand off his shoulder.
Kiba rubbed him the wrong way, which pushed him to burn him even more, "She clearly doesn't want you to do the protecting." Sasuke's eyes flickered with a barely concealed disdain, his words biting as he countered,
Kiba's head snapped towards him, his glare evident and his fists clenched. "What did you say?" he gritted his teeth, almost off the bench and lunging towards Sasuke.
"She hasn't been meeting you, she wants to be away from you…isn't this evident?" Sasuke cocked his brow and sported his signature smirk, which was rotting and burying every ounce of patience that Kiba carried. Sasuke exacerbated the situation further. He leaned forward slightly, the smugness in his tone sending Kiba teetering on the edge of control.
Before Kiba could respond, Ino pushed Sakura back and almost scooted over her, practically on her lap to reach out to Sasuke, "This is not right for her, Sasuke. Take it from the new mother myself, we need to be around people who love us…post-pregnancy isn't easy especially, in her case." Her words were curt and seriousness laced her tone.
Sasuke reined his pettiness, "Hn," He nodded at Ino, who breathed out a sigh and sidled off to her side, retreating back from Sakura's space.
"Whatever!" Kiba snarled, "Shikamaru, get an ANBU on his ass while he lives in her house. I volunteer even!"
Sasuke's annoyance was pulsing through his veins, "It is our house."
Shikamaru huffed, "Kiba, your request was denied by Hokage-sama, you know that!"
"How can we trust…him?" Kiba's face twisted into a disgusted scowl, he pointed his accusing finger at him. As much as Sasuke wanted to rip off his face from his body, he couldn't, he had a tainted past which gave everyone a free pass to think the absolute worst of him. It was your own doing, Sasuke. His mind glowered at him. This is the brunt of your sins. His soul shot back at him.
Sakura almost bellowed half-rose from her seat, her fist clenched into a threatening ball. "He is Sasuke! Naruto's best friend. And that should be enough to trust him for Hinata's and Haru's safety," she declared, her voice a fierce battle cry.
Kiba swatted Sakura's lifted hand, "You all so blinded!" he shifted his glare to Sasuke again, "Look at me, Uchiha!" Kiba's fist drummed on the table to catch Sasuke's attention who was sprawled on the bench with his one arm lazily draped over the back of the booth. Sasuke regarded him with a lifted brow, "Just because Hinata is weak right now, it doesn't mean she has no one!"
"Weak?" Sasuke chuckled dryly, "No wonder she runs away from you." He then addressed the subtle jab in his words, "And what the hell do you mean by your accusations, Inuzuka."
"I believe he is doubting your intentions as a man with her," Sai added. Sasuke's eyes, darkened with suppressed rage, flicked to Sai as he lazily sipped his sake. The clinking of cups and murmurs in the background dimmed as Sai spoke with unsettling calm.
"Read the room, Sai!" Sakura hissed at him, a sneer on her face.
Sasuke's blood rushed as he shifted his attention to Kiba. His world tunnelled as Kiba's implication circled in his mind like a snake tightening its coils. His vision blurred, and the blood surged in his veins, a molten wave threatening to boil over. His jaw tightened, fingers twitching toward the kunai at his waist. All he wanted—needed—was to wipe that smug look off Kiba's face.
Kiba slid out from the booth in a slow, deliberate motion. His broad shoulders squared, fists flexing at his sides as he towered over Sasuke. The restaurant's dim lighting cast shadows across his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw and the fierce glint in his eyes. "Look at her the wrong way or touch her in any manner…I won't care if you are Naruto's best friend or Hokage's student prodigy."
Sasuke's heart hammered in his chest, each beat louder than the last as he yanked himself free from Sakura's restraining grip. His body moved before he even registered it—rising, stepping forward, standing nose to nose with Kiba, their breaths mingling in the narrow space between them.
The threads holding his fury snapped when he gritted out his words with a mock, "And…how would you know about my looks or touches for her?" Sasuke finished with a snicker which made a nerve pop on Kiba's neck, his fraying temper was hit by the provocation.
"Don't instigate, Sasuke." A warning from Shikamaru fell flat on Sasuke's ears.
"Did you hear what he implied?" He shot a glare at Shikamaru who was thumbing his temples in agitation.
Ino gruff voice boomed, "Calm down! Both of you!"
"Calm down?"Kiba's face twisted in disbelief as he barked back, "Did you hear what he implied? We don't know what he can do to her. He is in a position of power and privilege despite everything! Also…isn't his goal to extend his bloodline—"
Before Sasuke could grab the collars of Kiba, Sakura stood up, the force with which her body went upright rattled the table, "Sasuke-kun isn't that kind of a person!"
A smooth voice grabbed their attention and not in a good way, "I also believe that he feels no sexual inclination for any person, as per my readings…we call a person like that asexual—"
Sakura seethes, interjecting the babbling of his replacement, "Shut up, Sai!"
Kiba looked over at Sai, "Who knows! Restoration of his clan could be the utmost priority." Kiba turned to Sasuke, stepping into his space, "Right, Uchiha?"
With a blur of speed, Kiba was found pinned against the wall causing the impact to shake the wooden beams of the place, the people around them in the restaurant were immediately startled, some even got up and dashed towards the door, the restaurant echoed with noise of chairs screeching against the floor.
Sasuke's coarse hand tightened around Kiba's neck making Kiba squirm, gasping for air, "You won't interfere in my matters! Or Konoha won't be able to save you from me."
Kiba croaked out, "If you harm her—" His hand clawed at Sasuke's, gasping for breath.
"What will you do?" Sasuke's eyes flared red as they bored into Kiba's widening gaze, leaning down at the limp burly boy in his grasp, grinding his words with his teeth, he continued, "What can you do?"
With a forceful shove, Kiba pushed Sasuke off, gasping for air as he sagged against the wall, "I will kill you," he choked out, vigour evident in his tone, determination sparked in his eyes which were reddened with pained tears from the strangulation.
He growled, "I'd like to see you try and fail to death!" Sasuke offered his open challenge, wiping the sweat beads glinting on his forehead with the back of his hand. His words dripped with disdain as if the very idea of Kiba being able to challenge him was laughable.
His breathing was harsh, ragged and his throat was constricted; dryness coiled inside him like barbed wires. Before Kiba could lunge at Sasuke as a retort, Shino and Shikamaru materialised beside him to restrain him while Sai and Sakura were both at Sasuke's side, holding his arm with their fingers laced with twinging chakra.
Sasuke whipped his head around, glaring at them both, his eyes burning with anger. He tore his arm free from their grip with a sharp tug, his chest still rising and falling in rapid succession. His gaze flicked towards Ino, who sat at the edge of the table, head in her hands, muttering about how men ruin everything. Sasuke concurred, because Kiba, the man, ruined everything, every bit of patience he learned; Kiba's onslaught flushed down the drain.
Sasuke then grabbed the tall glass of Sake, which was probably for Shikamaru, and gulped it down as if his thirst had been for years. Slamming the glass back with a loud thud on the table, licking his lips and throwing a stern hateful glare at everyone, he paced towards the door, hoping that Hinata wasn't in her usual mood of scraping his wounds.
.
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Without a knock to avoid Hinata, Sasuke entered by letting his Rinnegan tear a silent rift into the middle of the dimly lit living room. His head spun and unmoored him before he held himself together. To his surprise, Hinata and Haruto hadn't slept, the squeaks of a baby echoed in the silence. Sasuke looked towards the dining table, Hinata was peering at her nails with slumped shoulders while Haruto was cradled in her lap, her hand holding a bottle to his mouth. The fatigue's weight was palpable.
Her dark hair covered her hollow face, but he knew she was aware of his presence. A sting of pain sparked in his chest, a prick thrumming at the back of his head, dizzying blur occupied his vision for a second as his feet dragged him to the table.
He pulled the chair and sat on the chair opposite her, leaning back and groaning in pain. A sharp pain lanced through his neck, his nerves taut and coiled, squeezing until he sucked in a breath through clenched teeth, letting out a hiss with shut eyes.
A faint clatter pulled him from the haze. He opened his eyes, just in time to see Hinata set the bottle down on the table, her movements slow, almost mechanical. She shifted, resting Haruto's small head against the bony crook of her neck, patting his back with a rhythmic softness.
Rising from his chair, the wooden legs scraped harshly against the floor, a creak that seemed to reverberate louder in the stillness.
Without thinking, he reached out, gently taking Haruto from her arms. It was an instinctual motion, one his body made before his mind could catch up, as though some deep, unseen force had guided him.
"Sasuke—"
"Let me hold him…just for a little while." He sank back into his seat, settling the baby against his shoulder, mimicking the way she had done moments before. Haruto, on the cusp of sleep, let out a quiet whimper, his damp lips still moving as though searching for the bottle, while his eyelids fluttered, heavy with drowsiness.
"You are drunk," She commented flatly as she raked her eyes over his face, noticing the red eyes and flushed cheeks.
"Hm," he nodded. But his hands with adapted precision, held Haruto's body with all the necessary support despite the lingering haze in his mind.
She capped the bottle with a faint click, her fingers trembling ever so slightly. "He will sleep but before that, he needs to—"
Sasuke interjected, "Burp. I know."
A thick silence fell between them, heavy and oppressive. Hinata slumped further into her chair, her shoulders drooping as her thumb absentmindedly picked at the skin around her nails. The only sound breaking the quiet was the soft, steady gulps she took, trying to swallow the growing lump in her throat.
Sasuke rubbed small circles on the back of the small baby, who was drooling on his neck. His chest rose and fell against him. He was unaware of his sudden instinct to hold her baby, perhaps the peace which he sought from the world was reflected in the soft snores and gross saliva of a baby he held so close to his chest, his heart thudded painfully at the elated sparks that gleamed when the baby made squeals and burps.
"Hinata?" he spoke up, his voice was a mere whisper.
She looked up, her dead eyes reflected a sense of loneliness, which he also possessed.
"You should visit your friends," he suggested, he remembered his harshness before he left for the dinner, so he ensured to make amends and not disappoint the spirit of Naruto.
She crossed her trembling hands on her chest, "I don't need pity."
"I don't think pity is what they have for you," he dryly defended, "I believe, it is…love."
Hinata's eyes widened, her lips curled into a smirk, "What do you know about love?"
He cocked his head lightly, the slight brush with Haruto's head was a tether holding him, otherwise, he was floating away at the question which enunciated the lack of love he had to endure and choose for years. His lips upturned a bit, "Not much," he admitted. "But the way Shino talks about you or that Kiba threatens me or Ino worries despite her own struggles— I count that as love."
She sucked on her bottom lip, and the lines on her forehead deepened with a frown, "They wouldn't like to see me like this…neither do I want them to see me like this."
"Like what?" he probed.
"Weak," she spat that cursed word with a grimace, "They are all shinobi, what is my place among shinobi now?" She heaved a deep sigh, to quell the approaching moan of anguish.
"You will be back if you do what I told you." He raised his eyebrows, "People are offering you help, take it. Sakura and Shizune would—"
She rose up from her seat, cutting him off with her action, extending her arms to get Haruto who had his burps and was now in his deep slumber.
He got off the chair, "Naruto had faith in you."
Her eyes lifted up towards him with a flaring frustration, "Don't bring his name into this," she warned.
Sasuke believed that for one day, whatever he had tried to feed into her mind was enough, so he didn't stretch the matter further and offered, "Let's take him to your room." His eyes drifted to the sleeping figure snuggled in his arms.
"I can carry him—"
Sasuke nodded, "I know. I just want him to hold him a little longer." A twinge of agony pierced through his chest, at the fear of her taking his peace away from him.
But…fate was kinder on him in that moment, because Hinata passed by him, towards the staircase, without a word. Her silence was what he desired, and she obliged in her own way. His tensed muscles were uncoiled, and the flutter of relief ran under his skin, calming his nerves. Peace. He truly felt it, even if it was fleeting, Sasuke embraced it with greed. The fragile weight of the sleeping child in his arms offered him a solace he never thought he would find in such a broken world.
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Sasuke stood before the window, his body leaning on the window frame. The midnight sky was stretched before him like an endless expanse, even the sparkle of the few dotted stars couldn't fight against the encroaching dark of the night. The moon was hidden under the jagged clouds, curved into a thin crescent, its pale ivory glow barely piercing the gloom.
Sleep had always run away from him, he had to catch it every night with exhaustion. But right now, he was not inclined to war with his conflicted mind. He silently swallowed the tumult rising within him, like every night. The cold, biting wind slithered through the cracks in the windowpane, tugging at the thin curtains and whipping against his skin, bringing a stinging chill to his eyes.
Under the dark expanse, the ground was blanketed in a thin layer of snow, shimmering under the faint streetlights. The sidewalks were lined with heaps of it, untouched and pristine. The trees, heavy with white, stood silent and stoic, creating a scene that should've been peaceful, serene even. But Sasuke found no solace in the quiet beauty of it. Not tonight.
He sipped on his hangover drink, while the time ticked by. In a few hours, the sun would rise, pale light spilling over the clouds, warming the air just enough to make the day tolerable. But now, in the thick of night, everything felt frozen—stalled in the same limbo he existed in. He sighed and pulled the curtains shut, sealing off the outside world before retreating from the window. His footsteps were soft as he made his way through the dim living room, heading toward the solitude of his room.
Then, the sound of muffled crying reached him.
He paused mid-step, the soft whimpers of Haruto filtering through the quiet house. Sasuke's brow furrowed, and his body tensed. The cries were louder now, more insistent, but there was something off. Normally, Hinata would have soothed the baby by now, her soft voice a balm to Haruto's tears. But tonight—nothing. No whispered reassurances, no gentle lullabies. Just the baby's rising wails.
He strode up the stairs, irritation growing with each step as Haruto's shrill cries intensified. "Hinata," he called, knocking firmly on the door. No answer. The baby's cries grated on his nerves, pulling at something deep within his chest. "Hinata!" he called again, louder this time, frustration creeping into his voice. Still, nothing.
Haruto's cries grew more desperate, the high-pitched whine piercing through the air. Sasuke clenched his jaw, a sharp pang of worry cutting through his irritation. "I'm coming, Hinata," he muttered through gritted teeth, pushing the door open.
As he pushed the door open, the room was bathed in dark, all the windows were shut, barring any gust of chill wind from bothering Haruto. The fireplace was ignited, and flickering flames danced in the hearth and warmed the room. But amidst the darkness of the room, warmth by the fire and relentless cries of Haruto—his eyes couldn't see Hinata in the room.
He rushed to the crib, taking the wailing baby into his arms, and rocking him slightly. His cries were ear-splitting and pained even. Haruto's tiny hands flailed, his fists weakly smacking against Sasuke's face as his cries only grew louder. He was seeking his mother.
The embers of frustration ignited and gnawed at him when he was unable to calm a baby, Haruto's soft hands were clenched into tight fists, face red and contorted. He leaned his head back and wriggled in his arms constantly, Sasuke was struggling to keep him upright in his embrace.
Fuck this. He had thought that he was getting better at handling babies, but apparently, he was still not cut out for the new duties!
His eyes darted to the bathroom door, which hung slightly ajar. The sound of running water echoed faintly from within. The bathroom was dim, the air thick with the mist of cold water. The shower was running, droplets spraying against the tiles, but there was no sign of Hinata's silhouette behind the fogged glass.
His pulse quickened. "Hinata?" he called again, this time softer, yet more urgent.
Hinata sat crumpled on the floor of the shower, shivering violently under the relentless stream of cold water. Her soaked clothes clung to her fragile frame, her head buried in her knees, and her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Her body trembled with every shuddering breath, and even though Sasuke called her name, her eyes remained closed.
The cold water pouring over with force was numbing her senses because no matter how many times he called for her or how loud the shrieking of her son was—she was unable to wake up. She was drowning in her misery.
Sasuke moved swiftly, shutting off the water with a flick of his wrist. The cold spray ceased, but the icy air lingered, hanging thickly around her. For a moment, he stood there, watching her, his mind racing, unsure of what to do next.
She needed someone to pick her up. And that someone couldn't be Sasuke if he had to take care of Haruto in tandem.
He sighed, a promise escaping his lips, "Just stay here, I am coming back." He shut the door and exited the bathroom. The hem of his trousers was wet and the shrill cold dampness lapped at his ankles but he couldn't register the discomfort, his mind was elsewhere, focused on what had to be done.
His purple eye nipped with shooting pain as he transported himself in front of a door, forgetting to cover Haruto who bristled under the onslaught of the cruel cold swirling in the air and light snow falling from the dark veil above. His own thin shirt and trousers didn't stop the chill from creeping on his skin, sizzling it.
He wondered how much damage it was causing to Haruto. He knocked on the door with force. The whining noise from Haruto dulled but his sobs were warm against his neck. He nuzzled his neck and snuggled his face under his chin, usually, he had done it playfully but Sasuke could read the flinch in his little body and the impending wailing.
The door opened, Ino emerged while rubbing her eyes. Sai stood behind her, sling attached to him as he rocked his baby who was also weeping but not as loudly and painfully as Haruto did.
"Sasuke—" Ino started, her groggy expression quickly transforming into one of shock.
"I don't have time to explain, could you look after him for sometime…half an hour, perhaps?" Sasuke requested, his teeth clattered with cold.
"Of course, Sasuke," she trailed off. She immediately unwound the scarf from her neck and wrapped Haruto with it, taking his trembling body away from his arms.
Haruto's eyes partly opened, the tears-struck whiskered face was reddened, and droplets of his tears clung to his long eyelashes. He let out squeals of disappointment as Ino held him securely in her arms. Haruto's little arms extended towards Sasuke with his small fingers curled at him, and his face contorting with betrayal. Do babies feel betrayed? He wondered a newly-found hurt latched to his soul as he faced the welled-up eyes of Haruto seeking his embrace.
"Hinata…is unwell," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I…needed someone to look after him, he has been crying for a long time, I believe."
"He'll be alright, don't worry," Ino assured, her blue eyes softened, "Do you require a medic for her?"
Sasuke sucked in a breath, hoping to rely on his sessions with Kurenai which not only enriched his knowledge of babies but at times, she sneaked in information about tackling Hinata's episodes, "I don't think so…I can handle her, I think."
Ino rushed back inside for a quick minute and emerged, holding out the pills. "Give this to her, the black one is what Sakura gave to me for my post-partum, and the blue one is for the sleep," Haruto was bobbing his head in her embrace, with his sniffles replacing the loud cries.
He took them, shoving them in his trouser's pockets, "Okay." He nodded, noting the specifics.
"Oh, Haruto can be with us as long as—"
He cut her off, not entertaining that prospect, he wanted Haruto at his home as soon as possible, "No! I will pick him up. She'd want him beside her when she wakes up." His deep frown was concealed by the gust of wind whipping at his locks, obscuring his face. "I am sorry for the timing—"
Sai quipped, "It is fine. Our baby wakes up in the middle of the night too." He offered a smile, Sasuke didn't know how to return it with the same glee but he nodded and pivoted on his heel and his vision tunneled, the threads of space warping around him as he tore through reality and transported himself back to Hinata's house.
As he stepped into the portal, the thread, an invisible one, that looped Haruto and Sasuke together snapped and a haunting agony settled within him.
He realized that he didn't like leaving children without their mothers. Just like he was his mother's prized possession, Haruto also sought his mother the most so separating them took a toll on him.
Finding himself again in her room, The house was too quiet, too still, save for the muted crackle of the dying fire in the hearth.
He rushed into the bathroom and found her crouched at the same place. He knelt in front of her, his hand lifted to pat her head buried in her knees. "Hinata," he whispered, earning no response. Her drenched frame dithered with each breath she took, hisses escaped her mouth, muffled and low.
He lifted her face, cupping her cheeks. Her hot tears streaming down from her forcefully shut eyes contrasted with the cold soaked into her skin. Her tears clung onto her eyelashes like Haruto's. "S-she w-will t-take…t-take Haru f-from me," she mumbled softly, hiccupping between breaths. "W-will h-harm h-him."
"Who?" he inquired, standing up. He then bent down to lift her by the arms from the marbled flooded floor, her weight was barely anything for Sasuke so he easily pulled her up. Her body dwindled, unable to stay upright, her frail frame fell on his, her head tucked beneath his chin and her soaked body pressed on his. He was trained to face enemies, to protect people—but this?
The silk nightgown she had on was dripping wet, "Fuck, you will get sick like this!" His hand was wrapped around her waist and the other was on the back of her head, his fingers entangled in her dark and wet tresses. "Hinata, wake up. You need to get rid of these clothes," he kept on whispering to her ear, "Hinata!" he drawled defeated.
Her body was limp on his, her arms hung heavy at her side. "Hinata…you are testing me with everything," he grumbled as the realization of his next steps dawned upon him, seeing the condition of Hinata, who was collapsed on him and mumbling incoherent words with quivering fear of someone taking Haruto away from her leaving her in shambles. Her senses were numb, her resolve was gutted and her strength, whatever was left of it, was waning.
His eyes darted around the glass-walled shower compartment, in the middle of which he stood with a plummeting Hinata in his arms. The cold was seeping into his clothes from hers, her softness crushed with his hard muscles, her lingering lavender scent mingling with his minty scent, her shuddering breathing on the war-marked skin on his neck while his steady breathing continued to quicken in response and dissolved in her wet hair. He heaved a deep sigh, looking around the shower, for anything to help her with and found the towel hanging on the hook.
He pushed his feet forward, carrying her feeble body in his embrace at the same time. He pulled her passed-out form away from his and nudged her to sag against the glass door, his one hand grasping her by her thin arm while the other rubbed the towel on her face and neck, shoulders and upper arms.
"Hinata?" he uttered again, hoping for her to wake up, to save him and herself. "I need you to change your clothes. You will get severely sick—"
He cut himself off as he slammed the glass door, knowing that he was talking to a ghost, a silenced ghost. "Fuck! I am changing your damn clothes."
He snaked his arm around her waist again, pulling her to him again. Her head lolled against his chest, and he could feel her uneven breaths against the skin of his neck. His fingers fumbled with the damp strings on her back, with each pull, the strings unravelled, and his fingers brushed against her soft, white and damp skin.
He gulped and pushed her back on the glass wall of the shower, averting his gaze to another size while holding her almost bare back, he hooked his finger on the strap of nightgown and dragged it down her arm, continuing the motion to her other side. With the straps off and loose strings on the back, her silk slipped down her soaked and quivering body with ease, revealing chilled skin, white as snow. He lowered his eyes.
Sasuke kept his gaze averted, his hand hesitatingly cupped her bare waist to hold her so that she wouldn't shatter on the ground again. As he braced her against the glass wall of the shower, her back continued to slip off the glass, showing the lack of awareness and strength in her state, he tightened his grip on her waist and pulled her to him again, his other hand hovered over the hooks of her chest coverings and with a quick motion, his fingers unhooked and yanked the straps off her shoulders, the undergarment dropped onto the floor, pooling at her feet.
He flinched at her almost naked crashing body on his, and he immediately pushed her back on the glass, caging her with his arms on her sides to ensure that she didn't fall.
He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his forehead on hers, groaning and dreading, "I am sorry," he muttered.
It felt wrong. Everything about this moment felt wrong.
Gulping slowly, breathing heavily, his hand drifted to her hip at the waistband of her underwear, his finger hooked under it and attempted to tug it down, but struggled.
He winced, "Kami…please Hinata, get this off yourself!" he said it out loud, his voice was sharp and raspy. His eyes fluttered open, to take in her face, avoiding the apparent nakedness of hers in front of him.
He found that his hands left prints on the fogged glass as they were pushed on either side of her head, her wet stray strands stuck to her pale face, her eyes were shut and her lips were ashen and quivered with tremor.
He cringed as he forced his eyes shut and bent down to hook his fingers under the waistband of her underwear from both sides and tugged it off with a harsh pull, pushing them down her trembling calves as they pooled around her feet with her nightgown.
Her toes were curled, digging into the floor. He noticed her palms at her side were cold and shaking. Before his eyes could rake in her entire frame, he dignified himself and her as he wrapped her in the towel, circling her body with two folds of the towel before tugging the knotted ends on her chest.
While she was secured in her towel, he bent down to duck his arm under her knees, picked her up in his embrace and led her to the room. He placed her gently in the center of the bed, watching as she immediately curled into herself, clutching the sheets like a lifeline. She didn't wake, but her breath steadied slightly, the tremors that had wracked her body subsiding into softer, shallow breaths.
He stood at the edge of the bed, staring at her, with his mind empty.
This woman…this…woman. He couldn't decipher what Hinata was in his life; a punishment or a promise. Because she was rattling him every day, every night and even her pain was cruel, not just to her but to him as well.
He, with his soaked clothes, trudged towards her cupboard, fetching another nightgown for her, avoiding the part where he had to take in the daunting comprehension about the actions that he was performing, after all, he was a stranger to her.
His fingers brushed across the soft fabric of her nightgowns, and it struck him like a blow. Here he was, intruding into her most intimate space, stepping beyond boundaries that shouldn't have been crossed. The thought of what he had just done—stripping her of her wet clothes and tending to her bare, fragile form—gnawed at him. He wasn't meant to be here, doing this. It was all mind-boggling.
Sasuke Uchiha, the ex-avenger, the rogue shinobi, performed acts that felt far too personal for someone like him.
Naruto's promise wasn't as simple as it seemed.
Hinata didn't just need Sasuke's protection for Haruto, she needed him. And Sasuke wasn't sure if he was capable of being that rock for someone as shattered as her while he himself was unable to pick up his broken pieces. She needed his devotion, and he needed to choose if he was mad enough to do that or not, perhaps fate would play a part in figuring all that out for their future.
He retrieved a nightgown and returned to the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight as he knelt beside her. Her slender form, wrapped in a damp towel, trembled slightly, her pale skin still chilled from the water. With a deep breath, he gently lifted her limp body into his arms. Her head rolled onto his shoulder, her groggy voice was muttering something he couldn't understand, and her body slumped on his. Her delicate weight felt so light, yet the burden of responsibility he carried was crushing.
He steadied her by wrapping one of his arms around her waist, then he slipped the nightgown over her head, lifted her arms to slot into armholes and a small whimper escaped her mouth, rousing her momentarily. Her face twisted in a brief flicker of discomfort, but she didn't fully wake. The silk slid down her body with a whisper.
He hadn't untied the towel so he ducked his hand under the silk, pulled the knot and the towel unravelled. He pulled the silk gown down to her knees and yanked away the towel from under it. Her body spasmed with the movement, her frigid skin twitching beneath his touch.
He placed her gently back on the bed, running his fingers over the nape of her neck in slow, soothing circles. Her muscles were knotted and tense, the stress of her breakdown still clinging to her like a shadow.
He massaged her softly, feeling the tension ease beneath his fingertips, before stepping away from the bed. He had a brief flash of a memory where his mother would massage his neck after a harsh day at training or when he'd come home soaking in the rain.
Getting off the bed, he stared at her splayed form on her bed, swaddled in dried clothes. His hands pressed against his face, the rough texture of his palms grounding him. What would she say when she woke up? Would she be angry, mortified, or broken all over again? He sighed, running his fingers through his damp hair. No good could come from thinking about it now.
His mind which had gone senseless for the past twenty minutes suddenly reactivated with racing thoughts. His breathing was no more a choked plea, the nagging voice inside him quietened, and his heart wavered at the thought of his mother being proud of him for being a decent man in the situation, his thoughts continued to race.
But his work wasn't ended. It had just begun.
She stirred, her face scrunching in discomfort. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it up, tucking her in gently. But the damp strands of her hair stuck to her skin, irritating her. She batted at them in frustration, her trembling hand clumsily swatting at her face. Sasuke watched with his brow furrowing, before reaching out to gently brush the strands away. His knuckles grazed her cheek, her skin soft and still cool to the touch. Another action where his body moved first and his brain followed next.
He leaned down closer to gently gather her hair to the back and roll it into a bun, which he had noticed Kurenai doing while dealing with her daughter, so he followed the steps. As he fumbled with a hair clip, securing the bun, Hinata's body visibly relaxed
Instinctively, he placed his hand on her forehead, feeling the warmth of her skin return to normal. "Sleep," he blurted out.
A dull moan was her unconscious reply, "Naruto." Sasuke's throat tightened, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest. The name sent a jagged pain through his veins.
Her hand reached out blindly, to brush her fingers against his hand, to hold his hand in her grip, with her fingers colliding with his, intertwining with his, squeezing his hand and tugging at him while muttering the name of another man, like a prayer, like a chant, like a vow, "Naruto."
.
.
Sasuke descended the stairs in a haze, his footsteps heavy as though each step weighed him down further. After a scorching shower, he slipped into a pair of faded jeans, a loose shirt, and his well-worn jacket. The warm water had done little to clear the cobwebs clinging to the edges of his thoughts. His sanity, fragile and fraying, hung by a thread so thin it felt as if the slightest breeze could sever it.
His body felt constricted as if bound by invisible ropes tightening with each passing second. Sleep clung to his senses, blurring his vision with a fine mist, while his heartbeats struggled to find their rhythm, beating unevenly against the hollow cavity of his chest. A deep sigh left him, thick with frustration, as he shook his head in an attempt to shake free from the mental paralysis that had overtaken him. But now wasn't the time to succumb. He had one focus.
Haruto.
A surge of energy shot through his Rinnegan, pulsing with raw force. The familiar sting clawed at his nerves, followed by the sharp, biting sensation of the dimensional rift tearing open the space before him; an opening leading him to the familiar door of Ino. With a gentle rap on the door, he waited before the door with his head lowered, his courage receding.
The darkness of the night was ebbing away as the faint light of dawn approached, tinting parts of the sky with shades of light orange, though still obscured by clouds. The nipping chill was being subdued by each passing minute. The light snow from an hour ago had been tapering off. But he embraced the peak of winters, for the heat emanating from his bloodline, heating his nerves, was enough to blanket him with warmth.
He felt exasperated. Drained. Tired. Aggravated. Infuriated. Even enraged. All at once. Without knowing the cause.
The door creaked open, revealing Sai standing in the warm glow of the hallway, cradling Haruto in his arms. The child, wide-eyed and alert, had a pacifier in his mouth—something Hinata never used. Sasuke's gaze flicked to the small white beanie on Haruto's head, not his own but soft and furry, with a dangling furball that the baby kept batting away from his face, his little hands clumsy and eager.
"Hi, come inside."
"No…just, I will take him—" he extended his arms, Haruto's eyes twinkled as he bounced in Sai's grasp, his gloved hands smashing each other, to mimick a clap. The gloves weren't his. Haruto latched onto Sasuke, his small fingers clinging to the flap of his jacket.
Ino arrived, standing beside Sai, "He calmed down with Sai," she said with a soft chuckle. "I guess he saw some resemblance with you and felt safe with a familiar face." She reached forward, pulling Haruto's thick scarf a little tighter around his neck. Haruto paid no attention, too absorbed in sucking on his pacifier and waving his fists in the air like a miniature conqueror.
Sasuke, his body sagging under the weight of fatigue, managed to find his voice. "Thank you," he mumbled, though it felt like the words barely scraped out of his throat.
His body was aching everywhere, he had no desire to continue a conversation even if he was thankful. He just wanted to go back home, put Haruto in his crib, beside his mother, then rush to his room and let his futon engulf his pain-racked body. He couldn't even pinpoint where was his agonizing sting, but he was aware that it was there, pulsing in his veins and clashing within him.
.
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A/N: Hope you fav and review it!
2 more chapters and the FIRST ARC (Prologue Chap1-9) will conclude, I am so excited! SECOND ARC is much more exciting! (Any idea about how the first arc will conclude?)
Anyways, what do you think will be a tipping point for Hinata to start helping herself?
First Arc is titled "Heart's Dilemma", any guesses about what the Second ARC will be titled?