First Arc - Chapter 9: FATED DILEMMA (PART ONE)
A few weeks had passed, the silence in her home still heavy with the aftermath of their fight at Ino's house. That day, Hinata had finally shed the stubborn disbelief that had shielded her from reality, uncovering the true Hinata—the one buried beneath layers of grief and loss.
Now, her body no longer felt like it was crumbling from within. The sickly paleness of her skin had begun to warm with life again, and each breath came easier, no longer feeling like a battle. The medicines had breathed new vitality into her bones, but the sorrow within her remained—a loud cacophony she could not yet silence. Yet, rationality had begun to creep in, grounding her mind.
She could now see the damage she had done to herself—and worse, to her son. That realization hit her like a physical blow, tightening around her throat until she couldn't breathe. It was that realization that forced her to stop wallowing in grief, to pull herself out of the darkness, because she could not afford to neglect Haru any longer.
It was that day she decided—her son's well-being, his future, and his life would come first, above her pain, her losses, and the cursed fate that had ensnared her.
Hinata burst through the shower, wrapping the towel hastily around her drenched body. The cold still dripped onto her back from the hair pooled on her back like a web. The ear-splitting incessant cries of Haru from the crib rang like a blaring alarm in her ears and the fear of neglecting her son like she had before, ran up her spine and scorched her skin even when she was under the cold pouring of her shower.
Fear of once again neglecting her son, like she had in the past in her grief-shrouded moments, clawed at her like a sharp knife.
Her vision blurred as she reached Haru's crib, her hand trembling as it hovered over him. His tiny body was contorted with distress, his face scrunched in pain, and his cries filled the room with an unbearable weight.
Scalding words from her grandmother about her lack of ability to protect Haru, hushed whispers on the street from strangers regarding her physical state, sympathizing and pitying gazes from her friends— everything echoed around her, scorching flashes of shame searing her resolve, making her question herself. The weight of disdain towards herself was unbearable.
She began to feel barren again, the cries of her son were dampened by the rebuke from her surroundings, muffled beneath the torrent of her thoughts, silencing her son's desperate plea for help, vanishing her son's presence. The back of her head throbbed with shooting pain, and the void at the center of her heart began to be filled with self-loathing and the unsettling urge to just silence everyone and everything around her gripped her by her neck, making it hard to breathe. The need to numb herself, to stop the pain, called out to her.
The dilemma of losing herself in her grief or showing up for her son resurfaced and jolted her awake, from her trance where she could have drowned and repeated her mistake, leaving her son untended.
But amidst the cruel words, another cruel voice howled, which had woken her up.
"No son wants his mother to kill herself day by day, is that the image you want to show him when he is growing up—that his mother was notbraveenough to seek help in fear of being considered weak!"
The cutting words, the low timbre of his voice, the power in his rebuke—made her aware of her actual surroundings, where instead of her sorrows, her son's bawling echoed.
Hinata snapped back into reality, her heart racing as she leaned over and scooped her son into her arms. His eyes were squeezed shut, tears clinging to his blond eyelashes. His lips were trembling, jutted out. His complexion reddened with pain. His little fists pounded weakly against her chest, his body wracked with sobs. She cradled him, moving around the room in frantic circles, but nothing she did seemed to calm him. His body jerked in her grasp, his wails piercing the air despite her soft murmurs of comfort.
Her mind had blacked out, nothing came to her mind. Her cold hands caressed the soft skin of her son, he didn't have a fever. She pulled his shorts down to check if he needed any diaper change, which he didn't. Her shaking hands had offered a warm bottle of milk, which he swatted away with a loud cry, he wasn't hungry either. "Haru…Mommy is here, please, calm down."
His heart-wrenching shrieks continued to grow, despite her attempts. Her failing attempts. The thoughts of inadequacy loomed over her, ready to pounce on her. The whispers of her doom creeping back.
"You are incapable of being a mother, failed princess."
Her grandmother had mercilessly told her on the day of Naruto's funeral; her words ringing in her ear along with Haru going wild in her arms.
Gritting her teeth, sucking in a sharp breath and pulling Haru closer to her chest— Hinata gathered a spark of her chakra on her palm as she tucked in the menacing mind thrashing thoughts of her mind into the murky corner of her brain, attempting to replicate what Shizune once had done to calm the weeping Haruto.
But instead of calming him, Haru's cries surged in volume, his tiny fists pounding harder against her, his body rigid with discomfort.
"Haru, baby please, calm down." Her pleading resulted in nothing.
A sudden knock at the door startled her, and before she could respond, the door swung open. Sasuke stepped into the room, his dark eyes still clouded with sleep, his face momentarily blank before his gaze sharpened on her and Haru. His brows furrowed at the sight of Haru wailing uncontrollably in her arms, and without a word, he crossed the room toward them.
His coarse voice asked, "What happened—"
"I-I don't know," she stammered, her voice thin with panic. "He just—he won't stop crying. I've checked everything. His fever, his diaper, he's not hungry, I don't—"
Sasuke nodded quietly, his expression unreadable as he reached for Haru. Gently, he took the crying child from her arms, cradling him against his chest. Haru's sobs didn't stop, but they lessened, his little body still trembling as he pressed his tear-streaked face into Sasuke's neck.
Hinata winced and held back her sob, the need to reassure the man who had seen her neglect her son burned bright within her, "I swear I didn't forget him this time, I was taking a bath and he woke up and I rushed for him—"
Sasuke raised his eyebrows, "Hinata, I didn't say you forgot him, calm down." He shifted his attention to Haru and pulled his top lip, ducking his head lower to see something inside his mouth.
"He isn't hungry—"
"He is teething," he explained.
"Teething," she whispered, her mind chided her for missing that, she was a trained medic, and such basic knowledge should have come to her with ease, "Oh, I…I…forgot—"
"Hold him," he said as he handed Haru who had subdued wailing after Sasuke had rubbed his thumb over his aching gums, "I'll be back in a minute." He turned on his heels and without another glance, rushed out of her room.
Hinata sat on the edge of the bed, shell-shocked about the level of his competence, reminiscing how she once attacked Sasuke for not having enough knowledge about a child. Haru snuggled into her lap, his tiny fists clinging to her shirt as she gently rubbed his aching gums with trembling fingers.
The creaking sound of the door pulled her out of her thoughts, Sasuke strode towards them with hurried steps. He knelt before her, his eyes drawn to the baby in her lap.
"Here," he offered a chew toy, a teething ring which Haru grabbed with enthusiasm and began chomping down on its rubbery surface with fervour and the incessant cries continued to subside minute by minute. "It will help him," his onyx eye drifted upwards to her as he reassured her.
"I…I should have k-known," she stammered, gulping down the lump stuck in her throat.
"One can't know everything, I guess." He rose from the floor and shrugged at her. He lowered himself again and grabbed Haru from her lap, Haru made no disapproving noise and Sasuke rocked him in his arms before he put him down in his crib, draping the light blanket over him with such care.
Hinata's eyes teared up, seeing how he was more accustomed to her son than she was. The sobs, tight and raw, clawed their way up her throat, filling the silence with their jagged edges. Sasuke turned at the sound, his sharp eyes scanning her face, registering her pain without a word.
He moved toward her, closing the distance between them. Towering over her, his shadow swallowed her small frame. For a brief moment, the air between them shifted, like that moment weeks ago at Ino's house, when fury had radiated from him in waves. But this time, there was no clenched jaw, no crackle of power rippling through the air. His hands weren't balled into fists ready to strike with lightning lacing them; instead, they hovered, open, uncertain.
His hand grasped her bare arm, pulling her to her feet. She was dwindling before him, standing inches away from him. "There is nothing wrong with missing one or a few things, you are a first-time mother."
She angled up her face, her eyes flickering up to meet his, "You are not even a first-time father, yet you knew it—"
"Hinata!" he cut her off, with a huff, "You did a good job. Okay, that matters! Understood?" His exhaustion was evident.
His words of appreciation vanished in thin air, as the coiling guilt about her failures bruised her insides, "But—"
His fingers, calloused but warm, cupped her cheek with sudden tenderness. "This bruise..." he muttered, concern clouding his voice.
Hinata blinked, taken aback. "A bruise?" She hadn't even noticed it.
His hand cradled her jaw, and his thumbs traced the faint brown scars below her cheekbone, marring her paleness. "This…was me," he whispered with a low growl. He raked his free hand in his hair, groaning in seething anger bubbling beneath that dark eye. His shadowing hair pulled back, revealing the haunting purple eye that she once encountered in her fight with Pein.
Tension began to roll off him in waves, "This was me! Fuck," he cursed, his knuckles attempting to soothe her skin with feather-light touches on her cheek.
"Fuck, I…am sorry for that day." his eyes raised up from her scars to her eyes, "I lost my control there."
Hinata's confusion abated as her mind reminded her of the moment— That fated fight at Ino's house, his lightning-laced hand harshly grasped her chin, his scorching fingers digging in her cheeks, his anger flaring and heightening the burn on her through his fingers on her cheeks until he yanked his hand away from her face, pushing her back on the couch. His rage had swallowed him, she had pushed him to ignite that flame within him though. She was to blame, as much as he was.
Since then, they hadn't interacted, never confronted about anything and avoided each other despite being under the same roof; so that was why he didn't see much of her scars. They had been skirting around their guilt for weeks only.
"I crossed the line that day," he muttered, taking a step closer to her, pulling her face nearer, his inspecting eyes softened at the sight of her faint scars, which even she hadn't noticed. The heat emanating from his body almost pressed to hers, made her stiffen on the spot.
She blurted, her voice hoarse by the sobs, "There are barely any lines between us anymore, Sasuke."
His grip on her jaw tightened, and his warm breath fanned over her parted mouth, "He must hate me for this." The twinge of her pain erupted from her fading scars.
Hinata's cloud of grief over her burst, rain of ashes of her pain bathed her, she snickered at his lamenting, "He would never hate you. He wasn't a hateful person but in extreme circumstances, he could hate everyone…except you."
The bitterness spread within her chest as the thoughts of how important Sasuke was to Naruto dawned upon her. The spiralling truth of her life came back to her, breaking her heart yet again with a loud crash that only she could hear. The tempest roiling inside her shattered her anew.
He narrowed his eyes, and licked his lips, "He would never hate you, Hinata. No matter what." His palm flattened on her cheek, and the sting of his Chakra pierced through her skin, eliciting a wince out of her, "Sorry, I am no medic, even my healing jutsu isn't gentle."
She felt the surge of tiny prickling spread over her cheek, numbing her, sucking out the pain from her skin and she could feel her skin stitching and healing itself under the onslaught of his chakra-laden hand.
Unable to explain her agony to him, "I am sure…even when he was taking his last breath, he must have been glad that his damnation came from you."
Her words were venomous but towards her. Her heart clenched, and the biting realization of her position in Naruto's life which used to be a question she never dared to ask or explore herself, came crashing down at her.
"I was his brother, Hinata," he frowned, catching the smell of ashes from her burning sanity, "You were going to be his wife, the mother of his child. You were beyond me…for him," he punctuated his every word for the impact.
The beauty of his words stitched the wounds caused by her resentment but the terror inside her heart thudded at the way her reality continued to shift.
"I c-cant stop…that whenever I see you, I don't see your presence but his absence," she whimpered, a single streak of tear slipped down her cheek, and his other hand abruptly cupped her other cheek, his thumb swiping away the tear. "And that is why…he can hate me too."
She shut her eyes momentarily, pushing back the burning tears from flowing down her face.
Sasuke's expression tightened, his onyx gaze clouding as the shared grief between them thickened the air. "He once told me that he loved you enough to die for you."
His chakra dimmed, his eyes roved over her clear skin, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as he healed her. His words brought her a sense of peace, washing away the bitterness that had consumed her.
"He was scared of losing you, he wanted to never lose your love till the end, he was…sappy like that about you," he continued, revealing secrets that her heart revelled in, leaping with joy at the thought of Naruto's need for her, his love for her.
She croaked out, "I wanted him to live for me instead." His hands slipped from her face, arms stiffly hung at his sides, but he didn't move away from her, the warmth from his presence still lingered, still consumed her. "I wouldn't forget him." She tucked in the loose and drenched hair strand behind her hair and wiped away the sweat beaded on her forehead.
He gulped, his words were merely a whisper of breath, "No one can forget him."
Another dilemma that had been chipping away her strength resurfaced, reminding her of a menacing reality which she abhorred to grasp, "To forget someone, one has to remember them," she looked down, her feet quivering on the cold floor, her toes curling and twitching. "And my son won't even remember him," she gasped, fighting back tears, cold wind flitting through her window, thrashed at her towel-covered frame and made her shiver.
Bewilderment coloured his voice, "Hinata—" his finger tucked beneath her chin to lift her face, she wondered about what new revelations could he possibly bring to her knowledge to mould the truth to satisfy her.
Because nothing and no one could soothe her.
She whispered, the finality of her words barely holding back the sobs rising in her throat, "Please…leave!" She gently held his wrist and pulled his hand away from her chin.
"Please!" she pleaded, her voice coming out as a stifled whimper. Her hand pressed on his chest, pushing him away. Her eyes were still downcast, her hands were still cold and shaking and her breathing was in ragged rasps.
.
.
The days blurred into weeks, and weeks drifted into months. Haru was growing fast, his features sharpening with time, and every day, his resemblance to Naruto became more pronounced. Hinata's life was stagnant yet moving. She was trudging through the path of grief, moving as if crawling through the fog of befuddled thoughts, her heart dragged her through a life that felt horribly slow yet frighteningly fast with a hollow ache weighing down on her.
The house was quiet again. The kind of quiet that suffocates, but also brings fragile peace.
Her housemate kept to himself or engaged with her son, and made himself scarce whenever she was downstairs. The lingering effects of their fight had left deep scars on both of them.
She remembered the moment she had hurled accusations at him, her grief erupting in words meant to wound at Ino's house which had set him ablaze—she apologized that day and he did too—but the wounds carved in their hearts needed time.
But…something had shifted between them, making her wallow in guilt and nervousness. Her lamented heart recalled various instances when the pain-struck Hinata had punished Sasuke, which made the recently awoken real Hinata cower in shame. Her life continued to pass, stuck in a conflict.
But unfortunately or fortunately, something had changed between them, tilting the plane of their existence for each other. Guilt caged her, and gnawed at her, followed by a flutter of self-loathing. Her soul shuddered with lamenting heart whenever she recalled the countless times when the pain-driven Hinata had lashed out at Sasuke and punished him.
The real Hinata cowered in shame, unable to face herself in the mirror or meet with Naruto in her dreams.
But life continued to pass, with her being stuck into a loop of conflicting emotions.
Hinata's eyes flitted over her son, who was now crawling towards his scattered toys, squealing in excitement whenever Sasuke playfully tossed soft toys in his path. The cackles and incoherent babbles echoed in her living room as she stood at the doorway. Sasuke backed away each time Haru crawled toward him, a playful smirk tugging at his lips, earning a soft giggle from her son who pushed harder on the ground to reach Sasuke.
Sasuke had a faint smirk tugged on the corner of his lips as he circled in the hall, his hair dishevelled and shirt crumbled, thanks to the continuous tugging from Haru who was smitten by his hair along with his need to crawl up Sasuke's chest, clutching at his shirt with his tiny fists.
Sasuke's cheek glistened with drool, which was another one of Haru's favourite things to do. Sasuke remained unfazed by the shower of affection from a child. But the lingering watchful eye of Sasuke on Haru was always filled with concern and glee.
Her fingers were twitching, her body was warming up, and tingles of nervousness ran up her spine at the sight of her son being consumed with ecstasy in the arms of the man who was a shadow of his father.
Sasuke lifted Haru above his head, squealing laughter brightened the living room. That sound—pure, unrestrained joy—breathed life into something deep within her, something she had thought lost. But it also twisted the knife that had been lodged in her chest since Naruto's death. Her heart wavered between the ache of what was missing and the quiet, reluctant peace of what was here.
Haru, her son, was finding happiness—real happiness—despite everything. A small part of her, the part that still held onto her role as a mother, was relieved, delighted and cherished the adoration filled in her son. Haru wasn't deprived of joy. But the other part of her, the almost widow, mourned the sight of her son clinging to a man who wasn't Naruto.
Haru nuzzled his nose on Sasuke's cheeks, licking him as if to kiss away the shadows marring his face. Haru, her nine-month-old son was becoming his when he should have become Naruto's. He should have been showering all of his love and affection on his father—on Naruto.
Hinata was stuck between what could have been and what was happening. At that thought, her bones strained under the weight of her dilemma.
Sasuke's low chuckle, deep and rich, vibrated through the room, blending with Haru's delighted squeals. Her heart warmed at the sight, but at the same time, the corners of her eyes were filled with burning tears.
She blinked rapidly, trying to keep them from falling, but the image in front of her—her son, wrapping tiny arms around Sasuke's neck—struck her hard. It should have been Naruto.
The scene played out all wrong. Instead of a tall, broad-shouldered man with sun-kissed skin, sky-blue eyes and wild blond hair, it was Sasuke—raven-haired, lean and pale, with eyes like the night—who held her son in his arms, who was letting Haru kiss away the terror of his past etched into his face.
And for a moment, she let herself cry. Not because she was sad, but because her son was happy, and that happiness was wrapped by the arms of the man who had taken away the father from Haru. The man who was, despite it all, still there with them, because she needed him.
.
.
Under the dim warm lights, Sasuke sat slumped over the wooden counter of the bar, his hunched posture mirrored the ache pulling at his core. His dark eyes stared down at the glass before him, where the amber liquid caught the flicker of light and glinted like gold sparkles. His fingers hovered near the rim, tracing the rim in a continuous circular motion, the action grounded him to a momentary peace that settled within him.
A voice broke through the low murmur of the bar, one he barely registered at first. "Long time, no see."
His sleep-depraved eyes darted a look at his side, another dark-haired boy with a cigarette tugged in his mouth crashed beside him on the stool. "Nara," he acknowledged as he raked his hand in his unkempt dark locks covering most of his face.
Sasuke's eyes, dull with fatigue, darted sideways. Another dark-haired figure had unceremoniously taken the stool beside him, a cigarette dangling loosely from his lips. Shikamaru. The pale haze of smoke swirled between them, curling lazily toward the ceiling like a languid wisp of time neither could seem to care about.
Shikamaru exhaled a slow plume of smoke, barely glancing over. "I don't care, but how are you?"
"Don't ask if you don't care," Sasuke spat, grabbing the glass in front of him and lifting it to his lips to down the entire drink in one go.
Shikamaru shrugged, "How is Hinata?"
Sasuke stiffened slightly, knowing the true question wasn't about her well-being—it was about whether he'd done more damage. Whether he had hurt her again.
"I haven't bothered her ever since…"
Shikamaru's lighter clicked in the silence that followed, sparking a small flame that ignited the tip of his cigarette. The orange glow pulsed with his shallow breaths. "Ino's last event caused quite a stir. Kiba wasn't happy with how things went down… and then you disappeared. Hinata didn't come out of the house again."
Sasuke nodded, rolling his eyes at the constant intrusion of the people around him in his life, "I agree that day was…questionable," he admitted, the memory was still fresh.
"Did you apologize to her?" Shikamaru cut to the point, "Even though she had hurt your…feelings, your reaction scared her."
Sasuke's jaw clenched, his fingers tightening around the empty glass. His eyes slid shut for a moment, and in the darkness behind his lids, he saw her face again—Hinata's wide, fearful eyes, trembling at his outburst. Not fear of the situation, but fear of him. It was a memory that clawed at his insides, one he couldn't easily shake.
"I have apologized."
The silence between them stretched, thickened by unsaid words. Shikamaru leaned back, tilting his head to exhale another stream of smoke. The wispy tendrils twisted and coiled under the warm glow, dissipating slowly, much like the tension that lingered between them. Outside the bar's window, the twilight had deepened; the sky bled from orange to deep violet, with stars flickering like distant embers amidst the darkening clouds.
"I knew I'd find you both here!" A penetrative voice followed by a strong grasp on his shoulder caught his attention.
Sasuke barely had time to react before a hand clamped down on his shoulder, firm and familiar. He turned, meeting Ino's sharp blue gaze, her lips twisted into a scowl. She stood behind them, hands firmly planted on both their shoulders as if she were corralling unruly children. Sasuke pulled away from her grip, swivelling on his stool to face her fully.
She cocked an eyebrow at him, "Where have you been?"
He sharply muttered, irritation curling through his voice, "Not your concern."
He didn't owe her an explanation—least of all about the chaos that had been his life lately, between Haru's incessant teething, his wild crawling adventures and poking on sockets, and his apparent love for shoving random objects into his mouth. That had been enough to keep both him and Hinata in a state of constant exhaustion, though they handled it in their usual, strained silence.
Ino groaned under her breath, Sasuke was sure that he heard a curse from her, "Anyways," she swatted her hand in the air and rummaged through her white bag strapped to her side, pulling out two rolled scrolls tied with a purple ribbon, "You both are invited to my wedding…It is two weeks later, on Saturday!"
Shikamaru tilted his head to the side, "Surprisingly soon, but okay."
Ino heaved a sigh, a nagging shriek lacing her gritted words, "You could say, 'Congratulations, I will come with gifts, Ino. Thank you for inviting me.' but you just had to be you."
Shikamaru gave a lazy shrug, shoving the rolled parchment into his jacket pocket without care, the crinkle of the paper making Ino wince. Her gaze snapped toward Sasuke next, her eyes simmering with impatience.
"Fine." He took the invite and flattened it in his palm, folding it into a small square and pushing it inside his pants' pocket, Shikamaru almost snorted at the sight but a quick and sharp glare from Ino prompted him to back away.
"Both of you deserve hell," Ino grumbled, but suddenly her annoyance was masked and a shadow of contemplation washed over her, "I also want to invite Hinata," she said while offering another invite towards him.
Sasuke hopped down from the stool, "Invite her yourself. She will appreciate it."
"But—" Ino protested.
Sasuke picked up his cloak from the back of the stool and pushed the money under the emptied glass. "She doesn't hate you all, she is simply afraid to feel weak in front of everyone," Sasuke was exasperated as he explained, her friends were kind-hearted but unable to read her, "Make her feel that everything is as it was before, reassure her…she will not deny."
Ino nodded, "You are right."
With that, Sasuke gave Shikamaru a brief, wordless nod, a silent farewell. Shikamaru returned it, flicking his lighter open and closed in a lazy rhythm. Smoke curled from his discarded cigarette, the embers fading into ash—much like the remnants of their conversation, dissolving into the air as Sasuke walked out into the darkening night.
.
.
Hinata stood before her stove, staring down at the boiling water with tea leaves swirling, the water darkening with each passing second. The aroma of the simmering tea wafted in the air, soothing her senses, calming the tempest surging within her about everything that had happened till then.
When the water finally darkened to a deep, almost crimson hue, she poured it into the waiting cup. The sound of liquid splashing broke the silence, but her distracted mind didn't stop her in time; the tea overflowed, spilling over the edge of the cup and seeping onto the counter. She gasped softly, her hands trembling as she snatched a cloth, wiping the spilt tea in quick, agitated motions.
A sharp knock on the door shattered the fragile calm, startling her. For a moment, she froze, her heart pounding as her gaze drifted toward the entrance. Sasuke never knocks. Expecting to see him standing on the other side, she wiped her hands on her apron and moved to the door, her pulse still erratic.
But when she opened it, it wasn't Sasuke—it was Ino. The blonde stood on the threshold, her face pale but smiling awkwardly, her usual energy muted.
"Hinata!" Ino breathed out, gulping and mustering a weak smile on her face.
Ever since Naruto passed away, her distance had kept her friends at bay, they couldn't ever visit her with ease, especially after her silent treatment when once Shizune, Sakura and Ino had visited to check up on her. Hinata's eyes widened, shock seeping into her, pushing her to retreat.
"Can I come in?" Ino's voice was tentative, almost pleading, as if she were afraid Hinata would slam the door in her face.
Hinata blinked rapidly, shaking herself from the daze, her mouth dry as she fumbled for a response. "Y-Yes, of course," she stammered, stepping aside. Her voice came out too quickly, too strained.
She could feel shame prickling at her skin, a dull heat rising to her cheeks as she realized how long she'd shut her friends out.
Ino moved inside, and Hinata shut the door with a quiet thud. Hinata turned around, shame burning her insides, her trembling fingers twitched and intertwined with each other with a tight squeeze.
Ino settled down on the couch, settling her bag on the table before her. Hinata couldn't swallow the suffocation of the silence draped around them, she could feel Ino's observant eyes following her dwindling presence lingering on the doorway of the living room. Her feet felt rooted to the floor, her stomach knotted with the familiar, oppressive dread of disappointing those she once held close.
Hinata darted towards the kitchen, stowing away all the churning emotions that elicited sensations of prickling appalling squeezing her chest. She poured another cup of tea and put both of them on the tray, the warmth from the tray seeping into her cold hands.
With measured steps and unsteady breathing, she entered her living room, eyes trained on the steaming cups as she set the tray on the center table. "Have some tea," she managed to offer, without a stammer.
"Thank you," Ino smilingly responded.
Hinata settled across Ino on the sofa. Her hands curled into fists with her nails digging into her palms as they lay on her lap, the sheen of sweat was evident on her eyebrow and she bit on her quivering lip. Her eyes averted from Ino's frame but roamed around her room.
"How are you, Hinata?" Ino asked, her voice softer than usual.
Hinata nodded, gulping, "I am…fine."
Ino began, with a light chuckle, "I hope I didn't bother you—"
Hinata blurted, her heart clenched at the distance stretched between them, "No! No…I m-mean…" Months of silence and avoidance led to a heavy fear that rooted her in her place, unable to let out any words of affection.
"Hinata," Ino called out, urging Hinata to lift her bowed head.
Hinata's weary pale eyes finally met the soft blue ones, "Yes?"
"You look…better," Ino's smile stretched wide as she expressed.
Hinata gasped, the words struck a chord deep within her. "Oh."
Her chest felt the weight of her regrets which began resurfacing, flashing the memories in her view of her friends attempting to shake her out of her gloom but her stubbornness pushing them away.
"I'm glad!" Ino chirped the familiar lilt of joy in her voice returning. It had been so long since Hinata had heard that sound—a warmth that once filled their conversations now briefly flickered back to life. Ino's words sparked something within her, a fragile pulse of hope threading through the numbness in her veins. "I wish we could talk longer, but I have a lot of things to do later, so I should—"
"Ino…" A heavy sigh fell from Hinata's lips.
Ino's smile faltered, feeling the severity crackling in the air, "Yes."
Hinata shuddered, "I never visited Inojin, I…I am s-sorry." Her voice broke, and a sob clawed its way up her throat, threatening to spill over.
"Ah, Hinata!" Ino hopped off the sofa and circled the table to get to her, sitting beside her. "We understand." She grabbed her hand from Hinata's lap and squeezed it to breathe reassurance into her, "We all do!"
Her chest quaked with effort, "I…I…am trying to try." Hinata shut her eyes, her words came across as a dying whisper.
Ino pressed closer, her arm wrapping around Hinata's hunched shoulders, pulling her into a gentle embrace. The warmth of Ino's body against hers made Hinata feel like she might melt away, her jagged edges softening under the weight of her friend's kindness.
"That is all we want! We love you, Hinata. No matter what! You are one of us and you went through something traumatic…we have nothing but love and support for you." Ino's hand moved to the back of her head, her fingers tenderly stroking Hinata's dark tresses. "You decide your pace! But I am glad to see you take your health seriously."
Hinata's eyes flickered open, she glanced to her side with eyes welled up, the soft assurances from Ino made her feel normal. Like before. As if after a long drought, the rain had finally poured over her, "T-Thank you," she breathed out.
Ino leaned back slightly, her usual sparkle returning as she reached for her bag, pulling out a scroll tied with a purple ribbon. "I'm here to invite you to my wedding," she said, handing it to Hinata with a smile. "And of course, Haru is invited too. It's about time he and Inojin met—our boys are going to be best friends, I just know it!" Ino clapped as Hinata reluctantly took the invite.
Hinata blinked, her eyes boring into the purple ribbon tying the invite. It was one thing to let Ino inside her sanctuary, but the challenge of leaving her sanctuary and being amidst the crowd of people with their expectations and judgements about her. Her breath hitched and a wave of terror washed over her.
Sensing her distress, Ino placed a steadying hand on her shoulder, anchoring her. "Hinata…I'd love to see you there." She straightened, the strain on her muscles shot up, "But as I said, you get to decide your pace. As a new mother myself, I understand. I won't hold a grudge if you don't come but trust me, we all have nothing but best wishes for you."
Hinata's body was inundated by the pang of guilt and shame, but she managed to croak out, "I…will try."
Ino rose from the sofa after giving one last squeeze on her hand, Hinata's head hung low, her shame red on her cheeks and her guilt was a heavy stone in her stomach, propelling her to sink deeper into the ground and never look up to the warm eyes of her friend. "Sasuke was right…"
Hinata's head snapped up, her eyes widening in disbelief. "Hn?" she stammered, the shock radiating through her like a jolt of electricity.
"He told me that you'd appreciate me coming to invite you in person." Ino smiled as she pulled the strap of her bag, "Perhaps we should not have just abandoned you, we should have pushed harder…just like he did. Just because you pushed us away and demanded space, it didn't mean that we had to leave you alone."
Hinata shook her head furiously, her throat tightening. "No…you didn't—"
"I am sorry, Hinata. I should have—"
"No! You yourself had Inojin to deal with," Hinata finally heard her voice, Naruto's Hinata wasn't just awoken in her head anymore, she was a reality then, stirring with realizations. Hinata managed to let a smile bud on her lips, her heartfelt cleansed.
Ino smiled back. With a final wave, she stepped toward the door.
Hinata gasped at the retreating figure of her friend. Her heart thudded in her chest, and for the first time in a long time, nothing pained.
Not even her thoughts, not even the silence of her house, not even the mention of Naruto's best friend.
Sasuke had pushed harder, Ino was right, he continuously barged into her life despite her walls, he managed to finally put cracks in her walls, letting the light flutter through them and brighten the darkness, which had been sucking out the life out of her for months.
Sasuke. Sasuke. Her mind drifted into the abyss filled with him, him and him.
He is worth the effort, Hinata. Naruto's words echoed in her head.
But he killed you! The sorrowful, wallowing and broken Hinata yelled from deep inside.
The dilemma hung above her, charging the air around her. The Naruto's Hinata had a hard time grasping the conflicting realities. The real Hinata, the one still trying to navigate her new world, struggled to reconcile these two truths.
Her anchor, Naruto, was gone.
She needed someone. She needed someone to just hold her while she learned to walk the path again by herself. She was a mere human, neither a God nor a devil. She was just a human, seeking help. Finally.
"You need help. You need to need to straighten yourself."
"You know you need help. You know you are crashing. "
"You owe this to your son, Hinata."
Sasuke had indeed broken through every barrier she attempted to erect. His thoughts had burrowed into her mind, and though she resisted listening to him, his words echoed persistently in her head, pushing her to finally reclaim the life she had abandoned.
.
.
.
Sasuke and Hinata walked side by side in silence, their steps scraping against the cobblestone sidewalk. The monthly sealing session had gone smoothly; Sasuke noticed that Haruto clung to Kakashi with ease while Orochimaru checked him and strengthened the seal. The boy's wailing lasted only a minute, keeping Hinata at ease.
Sasuke's eyes drifted to the side. Hinata walked with her eyes lowered, her son cradled in her arms, dozing off with drool dripping from the corner of his mouth. She was a few paces ahead, her white ankle-length dress billowing in the breeze. Her shoulders were squared, her posture straight, and her gait steady—she was getting better physically.
As they strolled by the river and over the bridge towards her house, the loud cackles and bustle of the village market quieted. The chirping of birds, squeaks of animals skittering under bushes, and the soft clank of Hinata's heels on the ground were the only sounds surrounding them.
Sunlight illuminated Hinata's retreating figure, draping around her like a golden aura. Her steps halted, and she turned, glancing at him with narrowed eyes. Sunbeams dappled patterns on her pale skin.
"Sasuke?"
Her questioning tone shook him from his reverie. He realized his hand was gripping the wooden frame of the bridge, and he was still on it while she had walked ahead.
"I have some work to do—"
"Okay," she nodded, swivelling on her heels to turn away. His Rinnegan glinted, which made her shake her head. "I can walk alone too," she asserted.
He looked up. The spring sun had risen higher, warming the air even more. Not wanting her to walk with Haru under the blazing sun, he said, "You don't have to."
She turned around, quietly murmuring with bowed head, "I want to."
Reluctant to engage in another dispute with Hinata, Sasuke acquiesced to her departure. Her silhouette gradually melted into the distance, leaving him alone on the weathered bridge. The sparkling stream below meandered its way through the rocky terrain, its gentle crashing a soothing balm to his troubled mind.
Exhaling deeply, Sasuke contemplated his next move, acutely aware that his intended course of action might ignite yet another confrontation with Hinata.
Nevertheless, an inexplicable force stirred within him—a visceral, almost primal urge that compelled him to persevere, despite the potential consequences.
Sasuke turned around and continued to rush towards the market, his measured and steady steps propelled him towards the bustling area where fancy shops lined up on the street, and people donned in their silk clothing passed by him. Sasuke's mind fogged with bewilderment over his actions as he pushed the glass door, the door chime dangled overhead and tinkled.
He roamed inside the stretched-out hall, the aisles glinted with dazzles of beads and stones. His boots thrummed on the tiled floor, his face masked with blank and withdrawn expressions. His eyes narrowed at the hanging dresses, the burst of colors overfilled his sight, and the scent of nauseating perfume exhausted his senses, a contrast to the soothing lavender and jasmine he was accustomed to.
"Sasuke-kun?" A soft voice nudged him out of his thoughts, accompanied by a light touch on his arm.
He turned his head, meeting Sakura's curious gaze. "Sakura."
Her cheeks flushed, blending seamlessly with her hair. She glanced around at the boutique's lavish displays of gowns, sparkling jewellery, and high-end accessories, clearly surprised to see him here. "I didn't expect to run into you in a place like this," she admitted, her voice tinged with amusement.
"Ino's wedding is in two days," Sasuke explained, his usual stoic mask slipping just enough for Sakura to notice his underlying tension. She raised an eyebrow, scrutinizing him as if trying to decode why Sasuke Uchiha of all people was standing in a women's boutique, looking ready to escape at any second. "I wanted to get something for Hinata... and for Haru. I saw a sign outside mentioning they have kids' clothes too."
Sakura blinked, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "You're buying a dress for Hinata?" she choked out.
Sasuke tilted his head, glancing back at the array of dresses with a hint of impatience. "That is what one wears to the wedding right?"
Sakura cleared her throat, letting out a dry chuckle which attempted to cut the bubbling tension in the air, "Yes, but…I am sure she has some things in her closet…"
"She doesn't, it is mostly travel gear and daily clothing, some traditional ones…Ino isn't having a traditional wedding, right?" Sasuke continued, his brows knitted together as he reminisced about the state of Hinata's wardrobe.
"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura gaped at him, her cheeks tinting pink, matching her hair, "You looked through her wardrobe?" Sakura's fists clenched at her sides, she had her mouth parted and chest heaving as if she reined in her roiling chakra which was flaring around her. Her green eyes pointedly pierced through him.
Sasuke nodded, averting his eyes from the perturbed Sakura, "Yes, it was at the time of necessity." He pulled back from her hold on his arm and paced ahead, his eyes darting around, trying to find something that could catch his eye and fit Hinata.
"Sasuke…wait…" Sakura continued to follow him, her bothered existence trailed behind him.
Sasuke's entered the warmly lit gallery through a doorway to his left, this seemed like the right place, he had asked Shikamaru for the suggestion and his friend from Suna suggested that place where he felt like an odd person out while people chirped and giggled around him, trying out dresses and flaunting in front of their friends or partners.
"Sasuke…" Sakura caught up to him. "Are you sure she'd appreciate this after what had happened between you two? And is she even coming—"
"I don't do things for her appreciation, Sakura," he commented, his words grounded. "She will come. She is trying. I know it. I see it."
Sakura stopped, standing in front of him with her hands on her hips, her lips pressing into a thin line. "She might take this the wrong way..."
Sasuke interjected, his voice low and gruff, "She is Hinata, she is bound to question me no matter what. I am fine with that."
Before Sakura could respond, a shop assistant materialized beside them, her sharp features softened by a polite smile. Dressed in the boutique's pristine white uniform, she greeted them with a rehearsed warmth. "Welcome. Can I assist you with anything today? We have a new selection of matching outfits for couples—"
"We're not together," Sasuke interrupted, his tone as flat as ever. He caught the subtle drop in Sakura's expression but paid it no mind. "I need a dress for a nineteen-year-old girl."
The assistant's smile didn't falter as she gestured toward a nearby display. "Of course, sir. We have a premium collection just over here. Do you know her size?"
Sasuke mused; the effort he was making pressed on him, his actions were out of his character, but for some reason, he felt the need to commend Hinata for silently improving herself, for taking a step, "I am not sure, but I'd know by seeing the clothing, I believe."
"And you miss?" she diverted her eyes beside him, and so did Sasuke and he found Sakura's shrunken presence. She was still here.
"Ah, I will select on my own. I am a regular here," Sakura's faltering smile was enough for the woman.
"That's great." She smiled, "Sir, you can ask for my assistance—"
He nodded, moving closer to the displays, "Okay."
The assistant nodded, leading him toward an aisle where a variety of dresses hung in neatly organized rows. The vibrant fabrics glimmered under the boutique's soft lighting—rich silk, lace, and shimmering sequins.
Sasuke stood with a clenched jaw, eyes blurred with the vibrant colours popping in front of him, a multitude of fabrics lined up about which he did not know. When he had once dressed up Hinata and had to rummage through her closet, he noticed lots of silk in her items, she must have liked those then, so his paradox of choice didn't get out of his hand as he refocused on all the items that were silk.
There was one, golden in colour, that matched Haru's hair with gaudy threadwork on the hem. Then he noticed a red full-length dress, covered with laces and silk, which didn't make him feel like it was Hinata's choice. A woman was gushing beside him about the black one, whispering to her partner about how delicate it looked and he noticed the thin-strapped simple floor-length dress. He could have bought that and that would have worked, because black always worked—but then a familiar shade of Midnight blue and Lilac caught his eyes.
Two dresses, hung side by side, on the top shelves, draped over a mannequin. The Lilac dress was full-sleeved, knee-length, the kind Hinata prefers, and darker purple stones lined the round neck. The Midnight blue one was full-length, with small slits on either side of the flare on the bottom, for what purpose? The neckline was strapless, with mesh-like material acting as off-shoulder sleeves tugging on the arms.
Both hues reminded him of her—her lavender eyes and her dark indigo hair.
He didn't need to think long, the front of his head was already thrumming, he was never a fan of shopping, it wasn't like his life ever presented him with an opportunity to be normal enough to go on shopping trips, "I want these both."
"Sasuke-kun, you are buying both of them?" He heard the familiar voice, tilting his head towards her, he was met with Sakura carrying the red dress he had rejected in his head for Hinata.
"Yes." He shrugged, then looked behind her, towards the woman who had guided him, her blonde hair whipped towards him and dark eyes recognized the decision lingering in Sasuke's. She came running towards him with the screeching noise of her heels on the tiles.
"Sir, have you picked?"
"Yes, those two," he said as he pointed to the dresses.
The assistant's smile grew wider. "Excellent choices, sir. However, these are part of our most exclusive collection, so they come at a premium price—"
Sasuke scoffed, "Doesn't matter, I want them."
"Size?" she questioned.
The mannequin had a different physique than Hinata so he gauged, "One size bigger than the one on the display." His exhaustion made his mind race, enough to forget the gawking from Sakura.
She chimed, "Sure, I will send the packed items on the counter."
He asked, huffing another deep breath to counter the irritation building inside him, "Before billing…where is your kids' clothing section?"
She hummed, questioning, "How old is your child?"
"He doesn't—" Sakura jumped in to answer, but he had to cut her off.
He flushed at the question, however, his patience was already running thin and he had no qualms about extending his stay at the suffocating shop for another minute, he just answered to escalate the process, "Ten months old."
As the woman began to lead him towards the kids' section, he glanced back at Sakura who had her jaw slack, "Not a word, Sakura," he muttered at her, leaving her agape.
.
.
.
Hinata sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor of her living room, her son was playing with the rattlers and shaking it continuously, filling the room with a rhythmic jingle. His babbles began to make sense to her, 'Ah' usually meant this, 'Ba' usually meant water, and 'Ah Ah' usually meant in the arms. A look of glee washed over her as she watched her son amusing himself with the scattered toys, her smile stretched wider as he pointed to the book with animals and bounced on his spot while sucking on the sipping cup of water he held.
Hinata's heart swelled with warmth, but the moment of joy was fleeting. Her eyes flickered to the wall where the calendar hung, the circled date looming: two days until Ino's wedding. She had spent the last week shutting out the world, her focus on Haru—on their small, self-contained universe.
She hadn't allowed herself to think about the inevitable: facing everyone at the wedding.
Kiba-kun would be there, her actions with her best friend and the closest person had been nothing but questionable in the past months. He had been overly protective which had bothered Hinata but his view of her weakened state carried no malice. She was sure of it, her sane realization sent a ripple through her.
Shino-kun would be there as well, she remembered the Aburame guards often stationed outside her house, during the absence of Sasuke, despite Hinata's distance from her teammate who was like a brother to her. Her chest tightened at the prospect of finding disappointment in Shino's voice.
Sakura-san would be there as well. She had denied her repeated offers for medicinal assistance, she had thrashed her beloved teammate in front of her, humiliated him from time to time and remained cruel to him. Hinata groaned as the realization of her past actions pounded the back of her mind, jolting her like a strike of lightning. Fear of being at the receiving end of Sakura's wrath mounted heavily within her.
Hokage-sama…Kakashi-sama would be there, her thoughts gripped her with a searing coil wrapped around her nerves, aching her every inch. Kakashi-sama had seen her worst states, her lashing out, her brutal assaults at Sasuke and her disgraceful actions that tainted the memory of his another beloved student while she grabbed his alive student's collar and burned him. How could she stand in front of the Hokage, knowing how far she had fallen?
She wasn't ready to face anyone.
She dropped her face on her drawn knees, burying it there, grunting at her pitiful existence. 'Ah,' Haru cooed and Hinata raised her head, peering at him over her knees. The soft rattle of Haru's toys pulled her back, and she peeked through the curtain of her dark hair, watching him giggle and wiggle, showing her a dinosaur and a toad plushie with a gleeful grin.
Ino's words about their sons being best friends haunted her and pushed her to choose her son again because she wasn't ready to face the world, but her son deserved to see the world beyond her house.
Haru needed love, as much as he could get.
Haru and Inojin were three months apart, they could grow up together and be as close as Naruto had been to…Sasuke. They could protect each other as Naruto had protected…Sasuke. They could grow up together and stay together, unlike Naruto and Sasuke.
Her heart clenched, her eyes burned with tears and her breathing became shallow.
As Haru had toys scattered before him, she had her wardrobe splayed before her; a few of her dresses and kimonos laid before her, if I was to go, I needed something to wear and Haru too. The thought of going to a shop and beginning life still sounded brutal to her, for herself. A wave of despair crashed into her sanity from time to time. It was as if her strength was used up just existing in the present, and the world outside her door was too vast, too agonizing.
Her eyes found the yellow dress in the corner, the only dress she owned, and her heart lurched painfully. The sight of it tugged at a memory she could never forget.
"Hina-chan!" Naruto rushed towards her from behind as she stirred the pot, "I got you something!" Naruto's loud voice thrummed in the kitchen.
"Gift?" Hinata blushed, she turned the flame low and backed away from the stove counter, turning towards Naruto and tip-toeing to peck him on his lips. He clasped his wrist tightly and led her to the living room. A cake was on the center table, adorned by the candles that lit up the room. A bouquet of daisies at the side, with an orange-coloured box with a black bow.
"All this?" She blinked away her tears, her hand rubbing her growing belly.
"Sai took me to the shop, he was buying a gift for Ino…then I thought how can I forget my Hina-chan!" Naruto picked up the box and offered it to her, wiggling his eyebrows, "Open it!" he exclaimed in excitement.
She unwrapped the box to find a knee-length yellow dress, with a sweetheart neckline supported by two straps, the waist cinched with the twirling flare, adorned by the white beads on the hem. "It is so beautiful, Naruto-kun, you didn't have to—"
But before she could finish, his lips were on hers, silencing her with a kiss that made her knees buckle. His hands cradled her face gently, pouring his love into every touch, every breath. When he pulled back, his blue eyes sparkled mischievously. "I have to, Hinata. Because I love you."
"I love you too," Hinata's soft voice gushed as she peered down at the dress in her hand.
"You like it?" he asked, she nodded with a wide grin, "The colour matches your name. Yellow and sunny, ya know!"
"You are so thoughtful!" she placed the dress back in the box and lunged at him, to engulf him in a hug. Her pregnancy hormones riling her up.
Her memory dissolved because of a towering presence in front of her, "Hinata!" She shivered as she was pulled out of her trance by a deep voice.
Hinata looked up to find Sasuke standing before her, she abruptly got off the floor, "Hn."
"Are you okay?"
She gulped, her eyes lowered on the dress she tightly clutched in her hand. She nodded, though the tension in her chest made it hard to speak. "Yes."
He questioned, "Uh, I got you something."
She lifted her face, her eyes widening at the weird prospect of Sasuke Uchiha bringing her anything other than medicines or necessities for Haru. His face was pale already, but he looked ashen as his gaze dropped to the shimmery fabric in her hand.
"But I guess you won't need it," he muttered, his hand clenching at the handle of three bags he carried like a weight.
"What?" she frowned, her breathing quickened.
He rubbed the back of his neck, his jaw twitched. "Actually…this is for you and Haruto," he gasped, offering her a bunch of bags with a very familiar emblem embossed on the beige coloured bags. "Ino's wedding is around, so I thought…you might need something to wear and him as well." He averted his gaze from her and watched Haru playing on the floor, ringing his toys.
"You think I want to go?" she grabbed the bags from him, her mind reeling.
He said as if he growled, his eyes sharp on her, darkening, "I think you will."
She looked down, sighing heavily to steady her breath, "You didn't have to buy us anything—"
His tone was firm, a finality in his words that left no room for argument. "But I did," he shrugged, she glanced up at him, the silence that they had been sharing made them accustomed to it to a point where their conversation felt withdrawn as if…if they didn't fight, they couldn't talk at all, "The dresses match your eyes and hair," his voice was a low whisper.
His words were almost inaudible; low and clipped, she had to hear them again to believe them, "Hm?"
He grunted, huffing, the sunlight peeking through the curtains made his paleness look warm, "Nothing." Without any other word or glance, he turned around and exited the living room, rushing towards his room, leaving her stunned.
She sat on the couch, settling the yellow dress to her left. Her quivering hands parted the bag and pulled out the two black boxes, tied with purple ribbons. Her shaking slender fingers deftly untied the ribbons and then lifted the lid of the box, revealing a faint lilac dress, silk and beaded with purple stones on the neckline.
She gulped, on the back of her mind, she could hear his words again.
She shut her eyes for a moment and shook her head with a grunt. She unwrapped the other box and that revealed a midnight blue dress, its off-shoulder sleeves made up of layered lace. Her hands grazed the material that felt soft under her touch, she lifted the dress and the silk pooled on the floor. She raised the dress before him, unknowingly.
Haru's loud giggle was followed by a babble, "Ah" he bounced on his spot, pumping his fist in the air, "Ah"
"The dresses match your eyes and hair."
The back of her mind pounded with his echoing words, making her breath stuck in her throat. She didn't have to hear them again to believe them, the two dresses in front of her chanted the truth on their own.
.
.
A/N: REVIEWS AND FAVS MOTIVATE ME TO UPDATE!
This is the first part of the FIRST ARC ending! Next chapter will be the end of the FIRST ARC!
Will she go to Ino's wedding? If yes, then which dress?
ANything exciting you anticipate for Ino's wedding? Anything big ;) ?