A/N: Part II

Based on S6xE5 – Now and S6xE9 No Way Out

Song: Fade into You / Mazzy Star

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think it's strange you never knew

RIP Noah ❤️

Rated PG

Upon my initial encounter, Jessie appeared to me as the nervous and quiet type. That's when I noticed Rick paying close attention to her. I noticed him noticing her on several other occasions as well.

I soon found out that she's living in an unhappy, abusive marriage with her husband Pete. Although her investment in the safe-zone itself is limited and she refuses to speak about her marital problems, she's undoubtedly the proverbial damsel in distress. So, Rick is drawn to her should not have surprised me; I understood why. She's his chance to reclaim what he'd lost.

Rick sees in her what he believes he needs; someone to protect.

I'm back in my bed with my emotions; they keep coming into my mind like the waves meeting the land. Standing on the beach, eyes gazing out to the water, but my feet can't help but get wet. They come to me, soaking my entire being, and helping me to understand my entire self-better. Just like the land and ocean are one world, my emotions are just another part of myself, another form of intelligence to embrace, another way to learn. And crying is how I understand myself best. When I cry, I know who I am. I cry when others hurt as well as myself. It's my strength and my weakness. My strength, because it brings understanding, and my weakness because who wants to listen to weeping when they're looking for a strong shoulder? Right now, I wish I could turn my tears off, I do. But my emotions swirl like ocean currents, deep and strong, and I can't be anyone else, I don't suppose any of us can.

The next day, I woke up earlier than usual; at the garden, Sturgis and I planted several rows of cucumbers. By the time Maggie arrived, it was time for me to begin my constable duties. I kept myself busy, avoiding Rick for a full two days which wasn't an easy task considering that there are less than one hundred people in the community, and Rick and I live together. But I needed the time to gather myself and put the notion of him and me behind.

So, I did just that.

I wish I could say it was my will alone, but it wasn't.

My friend Noah and Deanna's son Aidan died outside the walls, and from then on, I was preoccupied with keeping things in order. I barely had time to sleep and was beginning to feel the comforting numbness that carries me through.

It wasn't long after Noah and Aidan died that the residents began to talk. Even though the tragedy happened outside the community, the people of Alexandria felt their sense of security crumble at the unexpected loss. I later found out that Father Gabriel told Deanna that our group is dangerous and that we needed to be exiled from Alexandria before her people died at our hands.

So, Deanna held an impromptu meeting where the residents could openly voice their concerns and decide if we should leave their community. At the meeting I admitted; our way is not perfect, but it's kept us alive. Rick expressed our point by delivering a speech to the people of Alexandria, informing the citizens that he found and killed several walkers that got in through an unsecured opening in the wall.

Without warning Pete barged in on the meeting, drunk and holding a knife. I think he was aiming for Rick but inadvertently killed Reg. Devastated, Deanna ordered Rick to execute Pete. Mrs. Monroe realized Rick was right in every way and the community would listen to him from that point on.

But it was too late.

Just as Rick was carrying out the execution, the meeting was interrupted again by Aaron and Daryl who had returned from scouting for survivors. They'd succeeded in their recruitment efforts and returned with Rick's acquaintance Morgan. That same night Daryl informed us that they'd come across a dangerous scavenging group called The Wolves.

From then on everything went straight to hell…. Just about anything that could go wrong did...

While disposing of Pete's body miles from the safe-zone, Rick and Morgan discovered a large quarry near the safe-zone that contained thousands of walkers. The only blockade that kept the walkers from escaping was semi-trucks on a ridge that was beginning to give way. Rick proposed that the community help release the herd and divert them away from the safe-zone.

So, the plan was set in motion. We formed several groups and got started immediately. During a dry run of the plan, a truck gave way, forcing us to put Rick's plan into action ahead of schedule.

Soon after, The Wolves found Alexandria and began their attack, massacring many of the Alexandria residents. During the attack, the newly appointed doctor, Denise Cloyd, tried in vain to save the wounded citizens.

Rosita, Aaron, Aaron's partner Eric, and Maggie led the defense as Spencer spotted from the watchtower. A member of the Wolves was arriving with a truck full of walkers, intending to drive it through the walls of the community. Spencer managed to shoot and kill the driver, causing the truck to crash through the side of the watchtower and into one of the wall panels, setting off the horn. The sound attracted the attention of the rear half of the herd from the quarry to the direction of Alexandria.

Carl did his best to keep residents safe, and Morgan captured the leader of the Wolves, the rest were killed by Carol and the newly trained citizens. Losing nearly half of our team, Heath, Scott, and I was the only ones to return, followed by Rick, just as the herd began its siege on the community.

Spencer attempted to grapple his way out of the safe-zone, but he fell into the herd and nearly died. The church tower that was damaged by the truck during the Wolves' attack collapsed and knocked down one of the panels, allowing the herd to enter the streets of Alexandria.

As the attack commenced, Carol pretty much saved the community, killing one of the Wolves, she donned his clothes gave her an advantage, she was able to take out numerous Wolves alongside Morgan.

Tensions grew as residents, deeply troubled by The Wolves attack, became desperate for food, with some even committing suicide, seeing no way out. The community struggled to find ways out of the safe-zone, as it was assumed by many that Glenn, Enid, Sasha, Abraham, and Daryl had died outside. Most believed all was lost until Glen and Enid made it back. Glen told us Nicolas died saving his life. Another miracle occurred when Sasha, Abraham, and Daryl all made it back to the safe-zone after being outnumbered and attacked by a group.

As the herd filled the streets, Rick and Deanna attempted to cover the citizens while they retreated inside their houses, resulting in Deanna getting bitten. Rick, Carl, Gabriel, Deanna, Ron, and I retreated into Jessie's house.

Aaron, Heath, and Spencer retreated into the infirmary with the wounded.

Inside the Anderson's' home Ron attacked Carl; I imagine it was because of what Rick had done to his family. The shuffle attracted the herd to the house and in the garage. As Deanna was dying from her bite, she advised me. She told me to go after what I wanted in life and to lead and protect Alexandria after she's gone, including looking after her surviving son Spencer.

I promised her that if there was a tomorrow for me, I'd honor her wishes.

Then the herd finally broke through the house.

Rick's only plan was something I'd grown all to accustom too; we covered ourselves with the intestines of walkers and made our way through the crowd to the armory.

Deanna, full of fever and armed with a gun, killed as many walkers as she could to distract them from us before she was taken over.

We began our daunting walk into the herd in the streets, Sam started crying for Jessie, attracting the attention of a few walkers.

So, Rick suddenly changed his plan to finding cars so we could drive the herd back to the quarry, but Jessie insisted that Judith be left with someone. Surprisingly, Gabriel volunteered and took Judith into the church.

As we continued, Sam had an emotional breakdown and began to cry out louder than before, attracting the attention of even more walkers, subsequently, he was attacked and bitten. Jessie, screaming in horror and was also attacked and bitten.

Everything was happening so fast. I'm not sure why Jessie wouldn't let go of Carl's hand, but she wouldn't, she let out a gut-wrenching scream and held him firmly as the herd attacked her. Rick had no choice but to set Carl free by chopping her wrist off.

Enraged at what was occurring, Ron pointed a gun at Rick, but he hesitated - I didn't. I had no choice but to kill him. I'm deeply troubled by the fact that he was so young; he's the youngest person that I've killed. While Ron was dying, his gun goes off and the bullet hits Carl's right eye.

Rick and I rushed Carl to the infirmary where Denise performs life-saving surgery. Once we felt confident that Carl was going to be alright, Rick and I led an attack on the walkers. Surprisingly all the remaining residents of Alexandria joined us. They found their courage and fought on.

Abraham rolled in with a fuel truck, filled the lake with fuel, and ignited it. The walkers were then drawn to the fire and walked into it, killing some, and providing a distraction for the rest, allowing us to successfully rally and fight back, killing the rest of the walkers and liberating Alexandria. After the attack, the citizens managed to rebuild the damaged wall panel and cleared the streets of walkers.

In time, the expansion was completed and the safe-zone took in more houses and the church. The survivors also dug a small trench around the safe-zone blocked with cars and spikes and put up new defenses, giving the residents a new outlook on life in the community.

In a few months, Carl was pretty well healed from his injury and went back to being Carl. It wasn't long before he and Enid returned to venturing off into the woods. That day, I followed them, keeping a close eye on the teens; until I noticed Spencer. He was wandering, he looked distressed. Deanna immediately came to mind. I'd promised her I'd look after him, so I did.

Meanwhile, Carl and Enid wandered across the reanimated Deanna and lured her to Spencer. He believed, like he did with his own mother, that Spencer should be the one to put her down. She should be put down by someone who loved her. I allowed it, but later that night, I questioned him about it, and Carl told me he'd do it for me; that he considered me family.

I think that's how a teen-aged kid says 'I love you'. I hugged him; the feeling was mutual. I'd just put Judith to bed, soon after Carl went to bed when Rick returned home from his supply run.

He told me he and Daryl found a truck loaded with food, but it was stolen by a survivor the two met out on the road named Paul Rovia, who was nicknamed Jesus. Rick suspected he was from a settlement based on his clean appearance.

After a spirited, almost comical chase, the truck was lost in a lake, and Rick and Daryl brought an unconscious Jesus back and locked him up in the community's makeshift prison cell. He then hands me a pack of mints — not quite the toothpaste I'd requested that morning but a sweet gesture none the less.

As we sat on the couch in the lantern-lit room, I found myself being brought back full circle, coming to a realization, a discovery. There is such an intimacy that's grown between us that is well earned. Every single time our eyes meet, he steals my breath and the heat from my skin. He took hold of my hand and smiled at me, so soft and sweet.

And it's because we've had so much intimacy with our friendship, I've oddly found myself thankful that he sought after Jessie. As crazy as it may sound, it's almost like Jessie was able to open Rick up to the potential of loving again. Going through the emotions with her was a hugely important stepping stone for him. It allowed him to access that part of himself and to put to rest the notion of his past.

The same goes for me...and before, it was easy for me to shut a lot of things down. But Rick has forced my walls to come down, even the wall around my heart.

Right now, he's eating me with his eyes as if he can't quite believe I'm not part of an almost forgotten dream. Something is bursting out of them that is new. Now he realized that there's even more to our intimacy.

He realizes that he desires me; that he's in love with me.

So, he said to me…"When I met you, I'd already lost my entire world. How can you hang on to something so incomprehensible? How can you keep pouring love into an abyss? But then there you were. There was something in those brown eyes that was so beautiful, so safe and warm. In just one look I was home. I took a chance with you and reached out and made the connection, and from day one we became inseparable, we were one from that day on."…And then he kissed me and the world fell away.

It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be.

Before I can draw in the air my body needs, he has me on my back and I've melted into his form. Gently, with a calloused finger, he moved a loc from my cheek; even this roughness brings more relief than my heart can hold. My arms reached up and tangled around the nape of his neck, finding their way through his thick curly hair.

In an instant I'd pulled away and arched up into his broad chest, moaning in the contact of body heat against my own, before I drew back into his lips. We go on like this for a while, kissing, touching, tasting, making out like two horny teens, until neither of us can take much more.