Rick's heart stopped when awareness erased the disbelief in soulful little brown eyes, his Michonne's eyes, and filled them with tears. The calm he felt, the sense his children were close, now made so much sense as he took in every inch of the child standing before him. RJ, his son, was right there, and Judith couldn't be far away. RJ. Rick couldn't get over the amazing little miracle he and Michonne had made, or how the love he felt from the moment he heard about this little boy could find a way to multiply itself in an instant.
"You're the Brave Man," RJ said softly, his voice filled with awe and emotion. "My dad. You're my dad."
Sniffling, Rick nodded. "Yeah. I'm – I'm your dad, RJ," he stammered through the knot in his throat. RJ sounded just like him when he was boy. "I'm the Brave Man."
"You – You know me?"
"Oh, son, I would – I would you know you anywhere." The sob-broken words were barely out of Rick's mouth when RJ barrelled over, the dash blowing the oversized hat away. Rick rushed toward him, swooping him into his arms and holding him close, kissing every part of his tear-streaked little face. A face that looked so much like his that it took Rick's breath away. Michonne had said as much, but he really wasn't expecting this.
Time froze and Rick relished in this moment that arrived over seven years later than he ever wanted. Holding RJ in his arms, hearing his breaths, and feeling his son's heartbeat against his chest. Rick held him tighter. All of the things he had wanted since he'd heard RJ was in this world were happening in this moment. Rick brushed his hand over the dark curls of his son's head and closed his hand around RJ's cheek.
"I love you so much, you know that?" Rick said, his gaze holding RJ's, and seeing himself, Michonne, Carl, and Andre staring back at him. It blew him away. RJ was them, but Rick couldn't escape just how much of himself he saw. Donned in a white T-shirt, dark jeans, and little cowboy boots, RJ even dressed like him. Rick's tears flowed faster. RJ was definitely his father's son. "You are so beautiful."
"I'm a boy. Girls are the beautiful ones."
"No." Rick wiped the tears from RJ's glistening lashes and smiled. "Boys can be beautiful, and you are, it's not just for girls."
"I know, but I like handsome." RJ smiled.
Rick laughed and kissed RJ's forehead. "You're very handsome, beautiful, and just perfect. Oh, my God, RJ, you're perfect." Rick brought RJ in another hug, holding him closer still. "What are you doing out here alone? Where's Judith?"
"Daddy, I can't breathe," he mumbled against Rick's shoulder.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Rick pulled back and lowered him to the ground, rubbing his little arms and kneeling before him. "I'm just so happy to see you." Rick blinked to clear the tears blurring his eyes. "Why am I seeing you out here?"
RJ tilted his head, his eyes narrowed curiously. "Dad, why am I seeing you out here? We thought the Brave Man had died, but you're here with a horse." RJ glanced toward the lake where Millie was contentedly drinking. "Mama said that she thought you might be alive and went to try to find you." Sadness crept into RJ's eyes. "She's been gone a long time."
Rick nodded. "I know she has, but it wasn't for nothing." He clasped RJ's shoulders. "I tried so hard to get home to you, your sister, and your mom, but I couldn't do it. But Michonne, your wonderful, beautiful mother found me, and she brought me home."
RJ gasped. "Mama's here?"
"Just on the other side of those woods," Rick said with a nod in direction he parked. "And there's a special surprise for you and Judith with her, too. An amazing surprise."
"More than you being home?"
"As much as." Rick smiled.
"Another horse?"
"No, not a horse. Mille is actually your mom's horse. She helped Michonne get to me. I was giving her some water for your mom."
"Mama likes to ride horses. She took me riding with her." RJ's face scrunched. "I don't like to eat them, Dad. I couldn't do it. I was hungry, but I wasn't that hungry." RJ recoiled.
Rick blinked. Horse? It had gotten so much worse at Alexandria than he thought. No wonder they had to leave. He would definitely need to get the complete rundown when they got to Judith. "Look, I promise, you won't face that meal choice again." Rick kissed RJ's hands. Hands that were also like his. His son was him. "Now, tell me, what are you doing out here by yourself and so early in the morning?"
"I was exploring."
"Exploring?" RJ called it exploring, but Rick called it going off by yourself. Carl used to do the same thing. "It can be dangerous out here alone."
"I'm not afraid of walkers, Dad. There aren't a lot of 'em around here, and I have a knife." RJ touched the blade at his side. "Judith has been teaching me to use the sword. It's made of wood, but I'm good at it. She even said so."
"I don't doubt it." Rick smiled. He recalled Michonne telling him that she'd started RJ with sticks, like she had with Judith, and had anticipated starting him with a wooden sword upon his seventh birthday. Looks like Judith had stepped right in with that. "I'm sure you're a natural. Now, back to this exploring."
"My class is camping. They're in cabins back there," RJ explained, pointing in the direction of the woods westward of the lake. "Judith couldn't come because she's not in the fifth grade, and her teacher didn't want to use her catch-up workday in the woods."
"Wait - wait a minute. You're in the fifth grade? You're seven."
"I skipped two grades when we got to the Commonwealth school. Then, I skipped another one." RJ shrugged. "The work is easy."
Parental pride threatened to burst Rick's chest wide open. He wondered if RJ's intelligence may have something to do with these 'immortal' cells. No, he wasn't going there. That brain power came from Michonne. Their son was a healthy, intelligent, and absolutely perfect little boy. "Your mom said you were smart, but she's gonna flip when she hears this." Rick smiled. "Fifth grade. That's amazing."
"Daddy, are you and Mama going away again?"
That single question put a pin in Rick's pride and broke his heart. Fighting tears, he gathered RJ in his arms and looked him squarely in the eyes. "No, son, we are never going away again. Not without you and your sister. Not ever." Rick tapped his nose. "You're gonna get sick of me."
"No, I won't." RJ tightened his arms around Rick's neck. "I love you, Daddy, and I'm so glad you're finally home with me."
"Oh, RJ, I love you so, so much." Rick held him close, pressing his lips to RJ's cheek. "I'm glad to finally be home with you, too." Rick held him closer. "So glad." He kissed RJ's forehead and lowered him to the ground, cupping his cheek. "Listen," he said, wiping RJ's tears, "I know Mommy can't wait to see you, and we need to get to Judith." Rick looked in the direction that RJ pointed for the cabins. He should inform the teacher or whoever the chaperone that RJ was safe, but whoever shouldn't have let a seven-year-old sneak out of a cabin by himself just past the crack of dawn. Rick grunted. Whatever worry they got they deserved. "As smart as you are, I'm sure you know the directions to where you live."
RJ nodded. "Uh-huh. It's right down the road, and I'm good with directions."
"Good. We have a truck. Let's get Millie and go to Mommy."
"Can I ride her?" RJ asked, his eyes bright with hope.
"You bet you can." Rick placed the hat on RJ's head and took hold of his hand. "Let's go."
Michonne smiled up at Andre from her perch on a large fallen tree as he dumped a pile of sticks for a fire. "Thank you," she said, remembering the surprise she felt when he emerged from the woods with an offer to give her assistance.
"I was glad to help," he replied, brushing his hands on his jeans. "Are you okay? I know you're worried about RJ and Judith."
"Mothers never stop worrying or thinking about their children, but I'm okay. I know in my heart that RJ and Judith are the same. I was just telling Rick before that I have calm about this now. I know they're close. It's like I can feel their presence near." She shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm not worried about them. I am worried about you."
"Me?" Andre shook his head. "You don't need to be."
"Don't I?" Michonne patted the space next to her on the log. "Sit with me."
Sighing deeply, Andre made his way over and sat.
"I've been thinking that maybe I've been unfair to you." Michonne reached into the pocket of the T-shirt Rick had given her earlier and pulled out the photo of Andre. "I have kept this picture on me since I saw it, but I put it in this pocket after we parked, because I wanted it to be closer to my heart. Next to the place I have kept you for all these years. When I first saw this picture, I can't even describe what I felt."
"Shock?" Andre offered.
Michonne nodded. "Yeah, there was that, but it was more. I kept a three-year-old's image in my heart for all the years you've been gone from me, but that little one, toddler Andre in this picture, is gone. I mean, you're growing a mustache."
Chuckling softly, Andre smoothed his finger over the dark fuzz above his lip.
"With all my heart, I want… No, I need to know the young man you have become. Who you are now, beyond the sweet little face I've carried with me for years. I can carry him with this picture, but you have to be at ease. Whatever that takes is what I'll do, because I love you that much. So, if you prefer to be called Danny, I can – I can do that."
"You could?" Andre replied, his wide-eyed expression marking his surprise at the offer. "You're willing to call me by the name my fa– the name Jacob Pride called me?"
"If it was what you wanted, yes. I should have never forced…"
"What?" Andre broke in. "My name on me? That's not what you did. You told me the truth." His eyes glazed over with tears. He shook his head. "Another truth, I do still love him. I don't want to, I wish I didn't, but I do. I also hate him. I hate that he lied to me and used me the whole time, and that he kept us all apart." He exhaled sharply. "Then, I think, if he hadn't attacked the camp, you probably would have never met Rick."
Michonne grunted. "I disagree with that," she said, unwilling to give Jacob Pride and his evil any credit for her finding the love of her life.
"Think about it. You were with my father and you would've been…"
"I would've been struggling to help a man adapt to a new world in which he couldn't adapt, and, eventually, I would've been left alone to raise my son. Mike didn't survive this world because he couldn't. I loved your father. He was a good man, but he didn't know how to love us or himself in what the world had become, and that's what killed him. We have no idea what really happened at that camp. There might be grains of truth in what Pride told us, but he was a liar and manipulator. Has anything changed? Do you remember anything about that day?"
"Uh-uh," he said with a shake of his head. "Nothing."
"That's a good thing. As for what you said, I would've found Rick. We would've found each other because we are in this world together, and together is where we belong. No matter the distance or circumstance, we always find each other. Nothing would've stopped us from meeting, because he is my destiny." She smiled. "I wish Rick and I hadn't been apart these last eight years, but that separation led him to you, and now we're all together. The way it should have always been."
"You and Rick are so connected and in love, even after all the years apart. You two have something special, and being around that… It – it makes me feel better. It's good for me, just like Rick was always good to me. I wish I could've been a part of this from the start."
"You were, son." She pressed his hand to her chest, over her heart. "You were always a part of it."
"Andre," he said. "I'm Andre, M."
"M?" Michonne repeated quizzically.
"Yeah. While I'm trying to come to terms with us and everything with my – Jacob, I needed to settle on something to call you. For practical reasons, M seemed the ideal choice. I know what you want me to call you, but I can't say it right now, not when it doesn't feel completely authentic to me. I'm sorry if that hurts you, I don't want to do that, because I do know you love me, but I'm just…"
"Shh-shh. You're not ready. It's okay." Michonne closed his hand between hers. "You're being honest about your feelings. I see your effort, and I don't want you to feel any pressure, so 'M' is fine." She smiled, knowing she meant what she said. "I actually think it's a fitting compromise."
"Really?"
She nodded. "Yes, really."
"Thank you, M." Andre gave her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. The show of affection filled her eyes with tears and heart to near bursting. He really was making an honest effort to build a bridge. Andre stood from the log. "There's so much in the back of that truck. I'm going to see if there might be some cookies."
"I'm about to make breakfast," she said, brushing tears from her eyes. "Canned ham and baked beans. You want cookies, too?"
"I'm a growing boy," Andre said. "I like food." He rushed off to the truck.
Michonne had just gotten the sticks piled evenly around some rocks when the sound of Millie's neigh caught her attention. She looked up just as Rick called her name. "Look who I found," he said, riding toward her with their son sitting protectively against his chest.
"Mama!"
"RJ!" she cried, rushing over to them and kneeling to take her youngest into her arms as Rick lowered him to the ground. She felt that RJ and Judith were close, but she wasn't expecting this close. "Oh, baby." Michonne showered his face with kisses, knocking off the oversized sheriff's hat, as her happy tears flowed once more. "Let me look at you." She pulled back slightly and stroked his curls. "You've gotten so big." She returned him to her arms and Rick joined in, holding them both. "Where's your sister?"
"Home." RJ wriggled between them. "Mommy, you and Daddy are tight huggers." He moaned. "I can't breathe."
They released him in unison and stood. "I'm sorry, sweetie," Michonne said. "I have just missed you so very much."
"I missed you, too, Mama." She leaned forward, returning RJ's sweet hug.
Rick stroked RJ's hair. "He is so wonderful, Michonne. There are no words." Rick kissed her adoringly. "Thank you for him."
"You don't have to thank me, Rick," she said, stroking his cheek. "As you can well see, I didn't make him by myself." She pressed a kiss to the top RJ's head. "He said Judith wasn't here, was he alone in the woods?"
"Yeah. He's on a camping trip with his class, and apparently he decided to sneak away and go exploring. I looked up and there he was. And get this, he's in the fifth grade."
"Fifth grade?"
"Yep. He's somethin' else."
"He's someone else," Andre remarked, stepping over to them. "God, Rick. He's you."
Rick chuckled and his whole face turned pink. "There is some resemblance, yeah," he said.
Michonne smiled. She knew Rick would be the ultimate proud father, and he was very much over the moon about his son. Hearing RJ call him Rick "Dad" when before it was only said in reference to him was the best sound she'd heard since "Mommy" slipped out of Andre's mouth on yesterday.
"Who are you?" RJ asked.
"I'm uh…" Andre began, looking over at Michonne.
Michonne smiled at her oldest and then looked down at her youngest. "RJ, this is someone very special to your dad and me." she said. "Very, very special."
"Is he the surprise, Daddy?"
"He is indeed," Rick replied.
"Who is he?"
"He is someone very important to us," Michonne answered. "When we get to Judith, we will tell you why that is."
"You and your sister need to hear about this surprise at the same time, okay?" Rick added.
RJ nodded. "Okay. What's his name?"
"His name?" Michonne said, her gaze met Rick's before they both looked to Andre.
Andre cleared his throat. "RJ, because I want us to become really good friends, why don't you call me Buddy, hmm?"
RJ smiled. "Okay, Buddy."
"All right." Andre gave him a high five. "You want to help me get Millie into her trailer? She needs a little coaxing sometime."
"Yeah!"
"Cool. Let's go."
"Thank you," Michonne mouthed to Andre as he led RJ and Millie to the trailer. She had really wanted a moment with Rick.
"You two really made progress, huh?" Rick said when they were alone. "He smiled back just now."
"We did. It was a good talk. He is still hurting, but he's open to receiving me. He's going to call me M now."
"M?"
"Additional letters will follow that eventually. A simple "A" will be enough for me, but he's not ready yet. Soon though. I can feel that. I can also feel how thrilled you are after meeting RJ."
"I can't tell you what I felt when I saw him standing there. When I saw a little me standing there."
"I told you."
"You did, but my goodness. He's so amazing, Michonne. I love you so much, and I can't thank you enough for all you've given me." Rick kissed her ever so gently. "Thank you."
Michonne's heart raced from the softening of Rick's eyes and quickening of his breaths. "You're welcome," she murmured, melting into his arms and drowning in his deeper, more passionate follow-up kiss.
"Ahem!" Andre hacked loudly.
RJ giggled. "They kiss a lot," he said.
"Yes, they do," Andre concurred as the kiss ended. "Millie's in her trailer."
"Thank you." Michonne pressed her lips together and gave Rick a quick glance. "We should be on our way to Judith."
Rick licked his lips. "Yeah." He stroked Michonne's back. "According to RJ, the place isn't far from here. We should get there in about five minutes."
"Then, let's get there," Michonne said. "What I need now is to see my daughter."
Author's Note: With maybe another two chapters at most remaining, the end is near. Thank you for reading and hanging in there with me.
~More to come!~
