Fives swirled the golden liquor in his crystal glass, watching as the last fragments of ice dissolved. The sips he was taking were small and deliberate, each a feeble attempt to kill the time. But it was a slow and painful murder.
Before deployment to Naboo, Fives had a few wild predictions about what he might encounter planetside. Attending a party with officials at Amidala's residence wasn't one of them. Not that he was surprised that such an event was installed; pulling a political banquet was a perfect excuse for Skywalker to prolong his stay with the Senator. The fact that the two of them had been nowhere in sight since he arrived was unamusing confirmation. But as to why in the worlds he was a part of this scheme, was beyond his comprehension.
Fives appreciated Amidala's thoughtfulness, he really did. Inviting him along with Rex and Jesse was a nice gesture, intended to convince everyone that they were no less than any of the distinguished senators or royal sentients gathered in Padmé's residence. The fancy suits that had arrived at the barracks that morning were just another proof of how the senator had gone out of her way to make them as welcome as possible. Silver links twinkled with every move of his hands and a navy pocket square contrasted with the black jacket of his suit. The garment fitted him so well that it might even do the trick and make others take a second look before realising who he was.
And, had it been a few days ago, Fives would have been happy to wear out someone else's shoes for a day, making the best of the occasion to spend time with Ahsoka that didn't involve guns or explosions. But recent events had taught him that nothing good came from delving into delusions. He kept reminding himself that he was doing this for Ahsoka's sake, that it was better to curb his involvement in her life than to deepen the feelings on both sides when they led nowhere but towards disappointment. Still, doing the right thing had never felt worse.
Fives knew Ahsoka's habits by heart, but whereas he used to use them to catch her at every possible opportunity, now they served plenty to avoid her. Which hadn't been easy either. Despite the hundreds of identical brothers surrounding him at all times, Ahsoka would still find him. Each time, he used one of the thousands of excuses he'd prepared, but they were starting to sound flat. He had wondered when Ahsoka would catch on to his doing but this very morning might've tipped the scale. Fives had been just taking the roundabout way to the warehouse when he'd heard quick steps chasing after him.
"Fives!" Ahsoka called, making him involuntarily wince. He wanted to keep walking, hoping to disappear around the corner and excuse himself by pretending not to hear her. But his quickly-formed plan fell apart when she called again. "Fives, wait up!"
He sighed and turned around to face her. "Commander, what can I do for ya?" he greeted once she finished her race in front of him.
"For starters, stopping at my first call in the future," she said between heavy breaths. "Right now, you can atone by walking me to the briefing room," she flashed him a grin.
"Sorry, I'm already cutting it close," Fives refuted without a thought.
"Oh, okay. Then I'll walk you," she said easily. That was harder to dodge.
"No need. I…gotta make a stop at the armoury."
Ahsoka frowned at that. "You've been quite the hotshot lately. Hard to catch you these days."
"You know how it is, always somewhere on the run."
"Not from me, I hope?" Ahsoka teased, raising her hand with the intent to place it on his upper arm. Fives tensed, and before her fingertips could brush against his armour, he stepped back, leaving her palm hanging in the air. Hurt flashed in Ahsoka's eyes, so vivid it struck right back at Fives.
"You should take care of your hands," he said quickly, trying to salvage the situation.
"You know they're already healed," she remarked, which sounded more like an accusation.
"Can't be too careful."
"Yeah, you've certainly been dodging a bullet lately," Ahsoka said, turning on her heel. But the one last look she darted in his direction still haunted him. The pain written on her face had crushed his chest and now Fives shook his head to get the image from his mind. He took a sip of his drink but it wasn't even half as bitter as the memory.
Fives definitely didn't plan on getting drunk. He'll have to wait for that coping mechanism to kick in once they get back on Corrie and the door to the 79's opens to him welcomingly. Right now he was holding onto the glass just to have an excuse to stick by the bar and not interact with any of the guests. From up here he had a pretty good viewpoint of the room too, which allowed him to spot Rex heading in his direction.
The tan suit looked good on the captain or rather would've if the man hadn't been constantly rolling his shoulders or messing with the cuffs.
"Lookin' sharp, captain," Fives commented once Rex stopped beside him with a heavy sigh.
"I hate these," Rex complained, pulling at the collar of his suit with annoyance. "Never missed plastoid more than now."
"Well, armour won't be needed tonight. The only shots we'll take are the ones we'll take willingly," Fives remarked, raising his glass pointedly and tipping the rest of the liquor down his throat.
"Seems more like necessity than anything else," Rex grunted, signalling for two more drinks from the bartender droid.
Fives surveyed the guests. A few groups of distinguished senators had already formed around the lounge, their chatter and giggles growing louder as the bar's stock got thinner. Still, only a few couples got bold enough to take to the dancefloor and swing to the lively tunes of the Bith band. Fives wondered if the party could get more lively than that, but hoped he wouldn't have to stay long enough to find out. He was sure Rex had also been contemplating an excuse for early departure, mentally calculating the tactful hour to leave.
Subconsciously, Fives pulled up the cuff of his shirt and checked the chrono on his wrist.
"You're not very discreet, you know," Jesse walked up unawares, holding a plate piled with suspiciously-looking food. "What happened to our social butterfly? Thought you liked parties."
"Not these kinds," Fives replied, tucking his hand into his jacket pocket to resist the urge to check the time again.
"Then good thing you're certainly not getting invited again," Jesse started his mockery but once Fives noticed a glimpse of white-blue montrals, his words couldn't get more vague in Fives' mind.
Shamelessly, his eyes raked over Ahsoka's silhouette and the light blue dress that fit snugly over her figure. A pair of long gloves had a darker shade of blue, matching the colour of her lekku chevrons. A silver headband adorned her head, with stones shining brightly but unable to outshine the glimmers in her eyes as she strode towards them. Fives had to stifle a longing sigh as he stared at her, unable to look away. He admired every step she took, the long dress swirling by her ankles thanks to the slit on the left side of the skirt which revealed her leg up above her knee.
Fives had almost managed to bring his mind back to reality when he noticed a white marking going around Ahsoka's knee and up her tight, disappearing under her dress. He shouldn't have been surprised; he knew white patterns covered not only her face but also shoulders. Still, he had never seen her bare legs and now his mind seamlessly entertained that notion further, blissfully wondering where her other markings might be that he didn't know about…
Fives quickly set his glass down. Still choking on the last sip, he made a swift decision that it was best to stay as sober as possible for the evening.
"How are my dashing men doing?" Ahsoka asked cheekily, catching Fives off guard. He still struggled to recover from his elevated heart rate and breathe, let alone form a coherent sentence.
"Still trying to adapt," Jesse answered for all three of them with Rex only grunting in agreement.
"I get it, these things are a lot to take," Ahsoka admitted sympathetically. Fives tried to focus on her words but found himself foolishly staring at Ahsoka's beautiful face until she caught his gaze. He blinked quickly and shifted towards the bar. "It takes time to learn how to get through all the small talk," she continued.
"Yeah, doubt I could interest present guests with any of the field stories," Rex remarked dryly.
Ahsoka smiled apologetically, "Try to enjoy yourself. Or at least take advantage of the food and drinks."
"Already on it, Commander." Jesse raised his glass.
"I have to make the rounds but I'll see you later, okay?" she added, but her gaze lingered longer on Fives at her last words. The three brothers watched Ahsoka return to the crowd, tulle and feathery costumes engulfing her completely.
"Commander's right," Rex said after a moment. "We gotta make an appearance." Apparently, his sense of propriety kicked in. Sulking at an official event as such was unbecoming for the proud Republic soldiers. "Can't stay by the bar all evening."
"You sayin' us standing around like a sorry bunch isn't good idea? Go figure," Jesse scoffed. The captain either didn't hear his vod or chose to ignore him.
"Alright, boys. Break up and spread out." Rex took a bracing breath and headed into the crowd with an expression that was supposed to resemble an inviting smile.
"That'll definitely go well," Fives muttered and pushed himself away from the bar. He recalled where Ahsoka had disappeared a moment ago and headed in the opposite direction.
But that was about the end of his ideas. He had no clue how he could engage in conversation with any of these people. Amidala's invitation, as considerate as it was, did nothing to bridge the vast gap between him and the rest of the guests. What could they possibly talk about? Who would even want to hear a clone's opinion?
Fives decided to follow Ahsoka's advice though and fill his stomach. And since the alcohol was off limits for him this evening, he headed to the buffet tables laden with fancy dishes and appetisers. But after grabbing a plate, he was at a loss again. He gazed at the courses with a heartful dose of scepticism as none of them appeared remotely edible. He considered a ball of roulade but couldn't assess if the flowers on top were part of the meal or merely a decoration.
"Are these any good?" a female voice startled him. An elderly Mirilian woman stood by his side, and the fact that she so easily caught him unguarded probably didn't reflect well on him as a soldier. Fives needed a second to process the question. So someone did care what he had to say, even if it was just about the quality of food. Unfortunately, he had no bright thoughts on that.
"I, uh…don't know, ma'am."
The woman hummed indistinctly and strained to look around the platters. The stacks of plates were actually too tall for her to see most of their contents. "Could ya be a sweetheart and grab that cake for me? Protas knows I ain't touchin' anythin' Ardennian." With the woman's instructions, Fives filled her plate with a pie that seemed to be fruit-based.
"Thanks, sugah." She patted his elbow since she couldn't reach anywhere higher. "Make sure ya eat somethin' too, alright?"
"As soon as I make my choice, I will," Fives promised dutifully.
The woman laughed loudly. "I always tell Padmé not to overdo it and she never listens. Well, at least there's a chance y'all'll still be here to grab more o' that pie for me when I get back."
"Promise to guard this post, ma'am."
"Ah guess ya had enough of that in your life. Don't hold yourself back tonight on anyone's account, sugah." The Mirilian gave him one more pat before she walked away, leaving Fives astonished by the encounter. The sentence struck a chord with him in more ways than it should have. Was he so easy to read? Has the lack of armour left him so defenceless? Or was it the woman who held a more insightful mind than she let on?
As if to only add to his confusion, once Fives turned from the table, he saw Ahsoka coming in his direction. She was looking straight at him and, despite glancing sideways, Fives knew there wasn't really a way out for him.
Ahsoka had his gaze locked and was just about to reach his side when a loud Tholotian woman accosted her in a squeaky voice.
"... darling!" The woman's arm was already around Ahsoka's shoulders, dragging her towards her fellow countrymen, talking animatedly. Ahsoka sent Fives a look begging for help, but he only responded with an innocent shrug of his shoulders and a lopsided smile, which disappeared as soon as their eye contact broke. It was better that way, he reminded himself. Fives left the empty plate on the table and moved away, intent on making it to the other side of the mansion before she could spot him again.
Fives didn't know how strict the guest list selection must have been, but he actually didn't receive any disapproving glances – at least none he didn't deserve. Rex's words were technically still orders, but they had no binding power in the parallel universe this party seemed to be. Fives couldn't bring himself to sustain the charming smile on his face and, after several futile attempts to strike up a conversation, he finally gave up. His masochistic tendencies went only so far. He scanned the perimeter to make sure he wouldn't run into Ahsoka, then pushed his way towards the balcony.
Outside, the air had cooled as the sun finally went down. It was much quieter here on the patio, but he wasn't the only one who had decided to search for more privacy outside of the main event. Couples occupied lonely benches or shaded corners, exchanging coquettish compliments or busing their mouths with other activities. Fives rolled his eyes and moved to search for a place where he would truly be alone.
He wandered for a while. The patio stretched far, leading to many staircases that connected numerous balconies. Still, none was empty. A tipsy group clinking their glasses, a Twi'lek woman inviting him for a drink, an Ithorian man asking for directions to the restrooms. Fives regretted not wearing armour after all; apparently, the suit wasn't very intimidating.
Finally, Fives reached a balcony which was so remote that no one else had ventured there. He pushed away a thought that he might be intruding on Amidala's privacy. After enduring so much pestering, he believed he deserved some solitude too. Not that it was fully possible. The music that brisked the whole party reached him as a distant whisper, nagging Fives and not allowing him to fully escape from the event.
Fives walked to the edge of the balcony and rested his forearms on the railing. A heavy sign weighed on his chest and Fives fought with himself not to let it out. It was all too easy to drown in his misery when left on his own. Alone. He should start getting used to that. After everything that had happened, he couldn't put himself in Ahsoka's company, not even as friends, and he knew exactly whom to blame for that.
He had really done it. It truly came to his worst fears, yet it's nothing he hadn't predicted. Acting surprised now was laughable. The only thing he could do right now was to silently wait the party out without getting into trouble. He took a bracing breath which only accidently left his lungs as a sigh.
Since the sky couldn't get much darker than it was, Fives lost track of how long he had been standing there with the cold breeze brushing his face and hands. He could've checked the chrono but even that small gesture now seemed too much of an effort. He was staring blankly into the darkness when a sound of footsteps came from the stairs behind him.
Fives bit the inside of his cheek. Of course someone had to walk this way. What now? Another couple looking for a perfect spot to make out, reminding him of what he couldn't have? But the footsteps indicated only one person. So perhaps a bored soul with as much admiration for the party as he had? Fives purposely didn't turn around or in any way acknowledge the passerby. With any luck, the person would be mindful enough to realise his need for solitude and leave him be. Clearly, this was not the case.
The sound of heels on the stone ground intensified. Fives was preparing a whole-ass tirade about disrespecting people's privacy when a soft voice spoke by his side.
"I figured I might find you here," Ahsoka said before joining him by the bannister.
Fives' head snapped at her, his heart thumping in his chest. She wasn't supposed to be here. Why was she here? But staring at her with an agape mouth wasn't going to get him any answers.
"Jedi senses, huh?" he said, turning back to the view.
"Girl gotta use some help sometimes. And it wasn't easy, I've got a feeling you've been avoiding me all evening," she teased, though her smile soon faded. "All week, actually," she added more quietly.
"Just… a lot going around," Fives replied tersely. Ahsoka rested her palms on the railing next to him and Fives stiffened. It had been days since they had been this close.
"Why standing here alone?" she asked, undeterred by his demeanour, trying to inject as much lightness into the conversation as possible. "I always took you for a life of the party."
"Maybe that part of me is gone," he said, the words sounding darker than he intended. After that, Ahsoka didn't speak up again. She joined Fives in staring out at the thick garden below the balcony, even though, apart from a few spots lit by lanterns, there wasn't much to be seen.
The silence stretched on, leaving Fives helpless on what to do because this had never been a problem for the two of them. As a soldier, Fives had been bred to always choose action out of the fight or flight instinct. Now, however, he struggled not to flee. It was too hard to witness firsthand what their relationship had turned into. Still, he couldn't just run away again. All this avoiding was to protect Ahsoka; he couldn't do so by hurting her.
Suddenly, hushed voices, followed by giggles, rang out beneath the balcony. Both Fives and Ahsoka turned their heads towards the noise. It took only a moment for Fives to realise to whom the voices belonged. Anakin and Padmé appeared in the small pool of light in the gardens. Amidala's laughter echoed as Skywalker pressed a kiss to her lips before the two of them disappeared deeper into the foliage.
"They look good together," Ahsoka observed softly, sighing as she leaned heavier on the railing. "If only she weren't a senator," she mused wistfully.
"Yeah, and he wasn't a Jedi," Fives remarked, unconsciously mirroring her pose.
"What do you mean?" she asked in calm surprise. Fives almost scoffed.
"What do you mean?" he countered, turning to her. He looked Ahsoka in the eyes yet found nothing but pure wonder. Did she really want him to spell it out? "Jedi are forbidden from marrying."
"Forbidden…" Ahsoka drawled as if deliberating the word. "No, more like…discouraged."
"That sounds like something I'd defend myself to Rex," Fives murmured grimly.
"Well, there's no law forbidding marriage. Unlike forging clearance codes or rigging a thermal detonator for a prank," Ahsoka asserted on the defence. She then looked back down into the garden, her expression turning somber. Fives wondered if she saw something his human eyes couldn't. "Though marriage is rather frowned upon by the Order. Now more than ever too," she added, her eye markings furrowing. "Not as a criticism towards love, but as a symbol of attachment. But married or not, I don't know a single person who doesn't struggle with those."
Fives absorbed her every word, trying to memorise them as if his life depended on it.
"The real issue is to be able to love without becoming possessive," Ahsoka continued. "To be able to let go of our loved ones when the time comes. But I think it applies to all the Jedi - married or not. There isn't that much difference between being able to let go of your brother, master or spouse." She paused, her fingers mindlessly plucking at the satin gloves she wore. "If the Order ever forbids love, then I wouldn't want to be a part of it."
Fives stared at her blankly, trying to process everything he had just heard. Which was a lot to take in. He didn't even get to fully understand the meaning behind her last sentence when Ahsoka looked up at him, startled by his silence. His shock must have shown because Ahsoka asked,
"What?"
"I didn't know any of that," he told her honestly.
"You didn't…?" Her eyes widened and then she became more abashed and dropped her gaze. "I thought you knew all about everything," she teased but her voice lacked her usual confidence.
"True, I tend to be infallible," Fives admitted, a smile stretching across his lips. Joy was starting to flare in his chest but he tried to keep his cool. "But even I can use some guidance from time to time. And if you're up for teaching, I'm eager to learn."
Ahsoka's breath hitched and Fives noticed how she tried to put on the lightest demeanour she could. "About Council rules? I haven't even seen you go through all the GAR regs."
"Regs don't affect me as much."
"And the Jedi code does?"
Fives delicately took her hand in his. "Significantly," he said, looking her straight in the eyes. This conversation had changed everything. And as much as he needed time to process it all, right now he intended to make the most of what was left of the night. "Would you care for a dance?"
A deep blush spread across Ahsoka's cheeks just like a smile on her lips. "I thought you'd never ask."
Without hesitation, Fives took her hand and didn't let go even for a moment as they walked the stairs back to the lounge.
The music grew louder and so did the chatter. When they entered the room, Fives had to manoeuvre carefully to avoid the tipsy guests bumping into him or Ahsoka. It wasn't close to the standard night in the 79's, but it was far from the elegant, uptight gala from a few hours ago.
"Padawan Tano," a man's voice called behind them, stopping them mid-step. A Rodian senator with an air of importance and a stern expression approached, blocking their way. "I've been intending to talk to you all evening."
But before Ahsoka could say anything, Fives cut in, "Apologies, but I already have business to take care of with Padawan Tano." Without waiting for the senator to put a reply together, Fives pulled Ahsoka further to the dancefloor.
"What business do you have with me?" Ahsoka teased with a smirk, her eyes sparkling.
"The kind that involves keeping you all to myself for the next dance."
Her blush deepened. Still, she raised her eyes, feigning innocence, "Only one?"
"The matter is negotiable." Fives raised their joined hands and placed his other palm on her waist, pulling her closer to him.
"Look at you, a week with politicians and you already start to sound like them," Ahsoka joked while her palm travelled to his shoulder.
"Don't insult me. Extortion and blackmail are still my preferred methods for getting things done."
They swayed to the slow melody, blending seamlessly with the other couples on the dimly lit dance floor. The soft glow of the lights cast a gentle shadow over them, and with the extra inches her shoes gave her, their noses were so close that Fives only needed to tilt his head slightly to the left for them to touch.
"I still can't get used to you wearing heels," he remarked softly.
Ahsoka fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly then murmured, "Why? Because I look so dashing in them?"
"Because I don't have to lean to actually see you."
"You know, they're good for other things too," she threatened, lightly stepping her shoe on his foot.
In response, Fives used her hand and spun her around in a swift motion. Taken by surprise, Ahsoka lost her balance, but before she could stumble, Fives stepped forward so she fell safely back into his arms.
"Maybe try to stay upright first before turning footwear into a weapon," he teased smugly.
"Do you always have to find a way to be mean to me?" she huffed, but shifted even closer and put more weight on him for stability. Fives had no complaints about that.
"Even the best clothes can't make a gentleman out of scoundrel."
"Apparently," Ahsoka hummed as she slid her palm along the lapel of his jacket. "But even though I didn't think it was possible, they managed to make you even more handsome."
A grin broke across his lips and he couldn't do a damn thing about it. "Said the most beautiful woman in the room," Fives whispered and admired the way blush coloured Ahsoka's cheeks. Her lekku chevrons darkened, falling out of sync with the blue of her gloves. In an obvious attempt to hide the blush from him, Ahsoka rested her chin on his shoulder, her lekku brushing his cheek.
Their dance slowed even further, turning more into a gentle sway than anything else. The music changed, its tempo speeding up, but neither of them cared to match its pace. They remained hugged to each other, simply enjoying the closeness.
After what felt like hours, Ahsoka finally shifted in his arms and looked up at him.
"You know, in no way do I mind our current occupation, but I could use a drink."
Fives didn't oppose. They walked to the corner of the room to the same buffet table he'd failed to choose from hours ago. It seemed abandoned by the guests as most of them had moved on to beverages but the table was restocked and looked as intimidating as before.
"Have you tried anything yet?" Ahsoka asked.
"Not really," he admitted, handing her a plate.
"I know it was only advice to take advantage of the food but it'd be nice if once in a while you'd listen to me."
"I always obey your orders and it wasn't one," he remarked.
"I wish it was true," she sighed. "Let's be honest, you always do as you please." He grinned, which caused Ahsoka to roll her eyes. "It wasn't a compliment so wipe that grin off your face and fill that plate of yours. Does this sound orderly enough?"
"Definitely got that air. Still, I don't trust the food I don't know," Fives stated as he eyed the table that looked too overwhelming.
"Would you want me to set a date with it for you first?" Ahsoka mocked. "Come on. Let me pick something for you."
"Only if you agree for me to do the same."
"You and your conditions," she sighed. "Fine."
Ahsoka went on and after a minute's consideration, she settled on a purple roll, bluish leaves sticking out from both ends. Fives took a dramatic inhale as if he was saying his farewells to this world, then popped the whole thing into his mouth.
"And?" Ahsoka prompted since his expression was blank as he chewed on the roll.
"Well, I'm still alive so I'll give you points for that," he said, earning a punch on his shoulder. "It was pretty good," he admitted. "Bit bitter but not bad."
"I'll take that into consideration for the next round," she retorted sarcastically.
"Yeah, but now's my turn," Fives smirked. He scanned the buffet again, unsure what he was actually looking for. Nothing seemed familiar so he risked it with a pink puffy pastry, convinced that in the worst-case scenario, it'd be sickly sweet. Well, he underestimated the odds.
As soon as Ahsoka took a bite, her expression turned sour. Fives watched as she struggled to swallow, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.
"Come on, now you're just retaliating. It can't be that bad," he protested.
"It's like…Tatooine's sand scraped from a Bantha's hoof." Her nose wrinkled in distaste. "You did it on purpose," she accused.
"How? I didn't even know what it was."
"Well the black colour could've been a clue," Ahsoka remarked. Fives only now realised that what he presumed had to be liquorice filling was only a poor guess. "But since you're so keen on black…" she smirked and reached for a dark dumpling from the far end of the buffet.
They continued the game, giving each other more and more concerning-looking dishes. By the seventh round, Fives had sampled everything from the fruity cake Ahsoka had picked for him to a sour souffle that nearly made him cough up a lung. He was on his second glass of water, trying to wash away the lingering sour taste, when Ahsoka closed her eyes briefly, savouring the pie he had picked for her.
"It's actually really good. You should try," she said, bringing a spoonful to his lips. Fives kept his mouth closed, nervous as he thought of the weight of her offer. "What – do you find it repulsive to eat from my spoon? Even after all this stuff?" Ahsoka teased though there was a hint of hurt in her voice.
"I certainly don't," he took her hand in his and guided the spoon into his mouth. He met her gaze as he savoured the bite. The cake indeed was sweet but that wasn't what made it so special. "You were right. It really is sweet."
Ahsoka stared at him with a heavy blush as if she had forgotten how to speak, before snapping out of her daze. "Did you think I was trying to poison you?"
"Don't act so outraged; that's what you've been doing for the past twenty minutes," Fives taunted. "And now that I think about it, it's not the first time either."
"Hey! If you're talking about that one time,"
"—which could've been my last."
"Then I must remind you—"
"Padawan Tano!" A distant voice cut through their banter. The same Rodian senator was walking in their direction, pushing through other guests.
Fives rolled his eyes. The man really was persistent. Well, Fives had dealt with worse. In a heartbeat, he wrapped his arm around Ahsoka's waist and pulled her to the hall. Once they got behind a column, Fives pressed her against the wall, standing close to shield her. His black suit was definitely less attention-grabbing than her montrals.
"What's his deal?" Fives murmured, glancing over his shoulder to check if the Rodian was anywhere in sight. "Tryin' to recruit you or something?"
"I don't know, Fives." Ahsoka crossed her arms. "Perhaps talking to the man would help to unveil that mystery,"
"Nah." He wasn't going to waste any of their time on anyone else. They had wasted enough. "Unless you really want to? Because I'd be crushed to ruin your future career in politics…" he already moved to lean from behind the wall and call the senator when—
"No!" Ahsoka grasped the lapels of his jacket and pulled him back. Fives arched an eyebrow, prompting an explanation. "I think I'm gonna stick to my current position for now. Kinda like being your commander."
Fives smiled smugly. "Alright then, Commander," he musked. He could look deeply into her eyes without the need for her to tiptoe or for him to lean over; he really loved her heels. Fives could stay like that much longer but the stubborn senator was somewhere around and he didn't want to be interrupted anymore. "How about we return to the balcony?"
After making sure the path was clear, Fives guided Ahsoka outside. The rowdy guests must've run out of booze and gone back inside, as the pavilion was basked in the silence and gentle glow of Naboo's three moons. The only figures remaining were the shadows of couples hugged together to fight the night's chill. Fives and Ahsoka found a relatively private spot by the railing. The light poured out far from the windows behind them, while the laughter and music became merely a white noise. Here, they didn't have to worry about prying eyes and could be just one of the ordinary happy couples.
"Running away never felt better," Ahsoka sighed contentedly after she breathed in the fresh air.
"For the record, it was a tactical retreat," Fives corrected her with a half-smile. "Here," he swiftly removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders when he noticed her shiver.
"What a gentleman," Ahsoka said, hugging the garment closer.
"Did you ever doubt it?"
"Past days did leave me in wonder," she joked but it fell flat. Very flat. Fives' amused grin fell in a second.
"Ahsoka, last week I—" He started, then hesitated, not sure how much honesty he could allow himself. "I'm sorry, Ahsoka. I didn't mean—"
"It's okay," she interrupted gently. "I just…" Words failed both of them. Instead, she leaned into Fives' side, resting her head on his chest. "I've missed you," she whispered against his shoulder.
"Yeah." Fives wrapped his arm around her waist. "Me too."
They stayed like that, in an almost obsolete darkness, and it was all Fives had ever wanted.
Still, the party was implacably coming to an end. The cabs and ships appeared more frequently, collecting the guests before fading between the clouds. Ahsoka sighed beside him and Fives wondered what he could possibly do to make her stay because he knew what she was about to say even before she opened her mouth.
"I guess it's time for me," she stood in front of him and reached for the jacket on her shoulders. "A night can't last forever."
"Soka, wait." Fives stopped her with a gentle hand on her waist. Ahsoka looked up at him, her breath quickening as Fives' hand tenderly cradled her face. With deliberate slowness, Fives leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. Closing his eyes, he relaxed into a kiss even more when he heard Ahsoka's soft sigh. He pulled away only so that he was able to look into her eyes. And he could stare at those forever.
"Fives…" Ahsoka's breath caught as she raised her hand to gingerly touch his cheek. He felt her other hand clench the fabric of his shirt on his chest, but he didn't dare to glance at it and break eye contact. Ahsoka, however, did. Her gaze fell on his lips, her eyes hooded. Ahsoka's warm breath in the contrast with chilly night air was sending shivers down Fives' spine. He could feel the anticipation coursing through his veins—
"Great Mother Kaliste!" A woman's shout followed a booming crash. Fives and Ahsoka jumped away from each other the moment the music abruptly stopped and the lights went on.
Fives turned around, trying to clear his mind and pinpoint the danger. His hands automatically reached for his belt where his DC-17 would've been, but as his palms grabbed on nothing, he took in the shattered plates on the lounge floor. The whole cocktail table lay knocked over with wine staining the tiles and a woman beside it, reeling apologies. Waitresses soon appeared by her side, clearing up the mess, and after the shock wore off, the band resumed where the tune was left and the party got back as if nothing had happened. Yet things on the balcony wouldn't go back to where they were, of that Fives was sure, as he looked back at Ahsoka's flushed face.
"So, um…" she cleared her throat awkwardly. "Thanks for the dance."
Fives had to stop his internal rant at the universe's terrible timing before he could reply. "We should do it again sometime."
"Yeah, we definitely should," Ahsoka smiled softly, her hands clenching harder on the collar of his jacket on her shoulders. "I think I'm gonna hold on to this a bit longer."
"Guess that means I'll just have to stick around you to get it back."
Ahsoka laughed softly, "Looks like it."
Fives watched Ahsoka walk back into the lounge where she turned by her shoulder to send him one last glance before disappearing inside. He, however, moved to the railing and leaned heavily against it. So much had happened in the last few hours that he couldn't wrap his head around all of it. If not for the gusts of wind that slapped his face and sent his tie fluttering, he might've believed it was one of his nightdream fantasies.
His hands fumbled at his collar, loosening the tight knot, before reaching beneath his shirt to retrieve the kyber pendant. The green crystal glowed in his palms, warming his skin. Fives locked his gaze on it as he mentally retracted the tape, trying to relive each moment second by second. And as hard as he tried to do it steadily, one thought kept getting ahead of others.
Jedi can get married.
Fives almost laughed out loud. Because as far as he was concerned, nothing was standing in the way anymore. He couldn't care less about the GAR and its regulations. Loyalty to the Republic was one thing, but being a devoted soldier shouldn't come in a way to being with the person he loved. Sure, Ahsoka was his superior so pursuing this relationship was asking for a court-martial, but she was much more than his commander for a long time now. He didn't believe in fate but every step of his life had led him to her.
It was Ahsoka's decision now. Whether she loved him, whether she was willing to struggle with attachment, if she wanted to risk the Order's judgement or the consequence had the GAR found out. Whatever the reason, he would accept any answer she gave him – no questions asked, no resentment – but to do so, she deserved to know all the facts. Fives had to lay all the cards on the table.
Fives had been madly in love with her for Force knows how long now. And if there was even a shadow of a chance they could be together, Fives had to take it. He was ready to take that chance.
He looked up at the sky, feeling calm settle over him as he came to a decision.
He'll tell her everything. He'll tell her he loves her.