One thing that was acutely felt by the entire crew of Resolute after their return was the general's foul mood. Skywalker didn't even try to mask the sourness caused by his separation from the senator. His sulking and loitering prevailed, but the 501st troops knew better than to try his patience, aware that only an unexpected battle could lift his spirits.
Fives, however, was exhilarated.
The idea of confessing his feelings to Ahsoka had consumed him since the moment he made the decision. He had set his mind, and nothing could make him back down now – not when the stakes were so high. Over the course of their acquaintance, Fives had gotten more than a clue that Ahsoka might actually share his feelings. While some of the intentions behind her actions were just his wishful thinking, others were real. And after all that had happened between them, he earned the right to at least hope she would say those three words back. He couldn't be certain how things would go from there, but he had to tell her how he felt. That much was decided. The thing that wasn't as crystal clear in his head, however, was the matter of how.
He had no experience whatsoever how to proceed in such a scenario. No training on Kamino covered that topic. How does a clone trooper confess his feelings to his Jedi Commander? He doubted he'd find any useful tips on the Holonet, even in one of those trashy magazines or holodramas. His surroundings also lacked experienced romantics, and as much gossip as Fives had absorbed from the barracks, none of it proved currently helpful. In times of struggle, troopers would usually turn to their supervisors, but Fives was sure Rex's advice on confession would've been not to do it. Perhaps the person with the most expertise in the field was Fox with his relationship with Riyo, but Fives doubted he'd be able to get to the guideline part of the conversation before earning a punch to the face first.
Fives sighed and reassembled the gun in his hands. Weapon maintenance in the armoury was as good a time for such pondering as any. Not that any amount of thinking about it had led him anywhere until now. Because even if his situation wasn't as complicated and Ahsoka wasn't his commanding officer, how do you tell your best friend, after all these years, that you love her?
Fives didn't have much to offer. He didn't even have enough credits to take her for a fancy dinner on Coruscant's surface with a view of the whole city and candlelight shimmering against glasses of the best wine. He knew it wasn't something Ahsoka would necessarily want, but it was something she deserved.
He knew he had to come up with something good and do it quickly. Despite harbouring feelings for Ahsoka for years now, knowingly or not, they now seemed like a restless bird caged in his chest, clapping its wings to try and break free. They hastened his breathing, tightening his throat and warming his skin. He had to finally let the words spill from his heart, or he might go crazy. But Fives wasn't going to just say them out at the first opportunity possible. He had to make sure it was the perfect place, the perfect time—
"Playing with guns again, Fives?"
He almost jumped at the sound of Ahsoka's voice. It felt as though she had caught him in the act of planning his confession. He had been feeling that way a lot lately.
"You know," she continued, striding towards him with deliberate slowness. Her steps echoed loudly, each setting Fives' heartbeat to a faster pace. "Ignoring your friend is one thing – rude and frankly quite hurtful – but bailing on calls from your commander?" She pushed his chest with a pointing finger but it was more sultry than accusatory.
Fives took a sharp inhale. He glanced at the comm on his wrist and saw the diode flashing with a red light. How could he have not noticed?
"Sorry, I didn't realise it was ringing," he admitted, his pulse racing.
"Are you apologising to 'Ahsoka your friend', or 'Ahsoka, the GAR officer'?" she teased, her palm still lingering over his chest plate. Fives swallowed hard.
"I'm apologising to you both," he said. "Though to the second one with more sincerity. We can talk about your identity disorder later if you want."
Ahsoka shook her head with a sigh. Her hand left his armour and she stepped back, folding her arms over her chest. Fives turned to the wall to set the blaster down, using the moment to close his eyes and take a deep breath. It was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain his composure around her; his thoughts kept scattering, straying far from where his focus should be. Just like right now.
"Huh?" Fives turned back to Ahsoka, realising he couldn't repeat anything she had just said.
"Wow, you're really not listening to anything I'm saying," she said, her tone a mixture of awe and scepticism. Her eyes narrowed with concern. "Are you ok? You've been…vacant lately." Nervous was a better word to put it, Fives thought.
"A few missed calls and I'm already attracting the attention of the authorities?"
"I only worry as a friend."
"And I appreciate it, but I'm fine. Really," he assured. Making her suspicious about his behaviour was the last thing he wanted. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Ahsoka, I need to check messages from my commander."
"Di'kut," she rolled her eyes. The same hand that was brushing against his chest minutes ago now punched him hard in the shoulder. "Just come on. The briefing awaits."
The moment the door to the bridge opened, Kenobi's calm voice filled the room. The general's holographic figure glowed in the centre of the room, but as Fives followed Ahsoka in, he could only see the man's straight back. He saluted Skywalker and Rex, both returning merely a nod as their attention was consumed by the projected holograms.
"Master Kenobi," Ahsoka greeted. "How's the siege progressing?"
"Slowly, I'm afraid." Obi-wan's voice carried a hint of bitterness. Now that Fives saw his face, the impact of the prolonged battle became apparent. While his enforced posture effectively hid some of the fatigue, the dark circles under his eyes and the untrimmed beard did not. "We have managed to secure most of Akarith city, the governor's palace has been surrounded but there has been no progress for days now." Kenobi looked like he wanted to sigh but stopped himself at the last moment. "But I'm veering off topic – it is not the reason why I'm contacting you."
There was a pause before another holographic silhouette appeared next to Kenobi's.
"Admiral Tavred Shenn," Obi-wan introduced the projection of the middle-aged human man. Clean-shaven, high cheekbones and dark hair hidden under kepi – he looked just like any other Separatist officer. Or rather would've if not for the scar that stretched from the corner of his eye down to his chin. Fives knew that no one gets those by commanding from the safety of the bridge.
"He's in command of Akarith's defences," Kenobi explained. "Currently barricaded in the palace, but he's reached out with a proposal."
"What do we know about him?" Skywalker interjected.
"Not much. He'd been working low profile up until now, so there's not much information in our records. However, I must admit he's been doing quite well with the little resources he'd been given. The message is just as…unusual as his military tactics."
The projected officer flickered to life. His silhouette shook for a moment before stabilising.
"General Kenobi, I regret we didn't have a chance to meet in person, but for now, it'll have to suffice. I'll go right to the point – there are civilians under my custody, and I reckon that proceeding with the violence with their presence is not in either of our interests. I propose a ceasefire until the inhabitants are evacuated. To ensure that there is no trick, you may be responsible for their rescue mission. I believe a Jedi wouldn't allow for the innocents to come to harm." The recording creaked. The floor beneath the admiral's feet seemed to shake but the man paid it no mind. "As soon as they're relocated safely, we may continue the battle and let the better win. Give me your response so I can provide you with further details on the civilian evacuation."
The recording ended, leaving the room in silence.
"So honoured, huh?" Ahsoka mused. "Thought civilians would be a better bargaining chip at the capitulation table.
"It may just be a move to gain more time," Obi-wan replied. "In their current position, they don't have many options left."
"Can we trust him?"
"Probably not. Although, he's the one asking for help. Getting civilians killed wouldn't look good for them either."
"Providing there are any," Anakin countered. "Wouldn't be surprised if the droid commando appeared instead."
"Well, we still have to try," Ahsoka said. "Republic or Separatist — the civilians aren't at fault. If this turns out to be a trap; the moment they break the ceasefire, we'll be ready to counterattack."
"I agree," Kenobi backed her up. "There's not much of a risk anyway. Even if they break the treaty, they only gain a moment of surprise. From what we have gathered, they don't have any more weapons left than that."
"We can split our forces into three," Ahsoka suggested after studying the Akarith's landscape. "One recce squad could wait on those hills. We won't send the transporters until we have eyes on the civilians. The third party will wait here if things get heated." She pointed to a hollow on the map. "Lots of cover to go unnoticed and close enough to surround the capital and march in if the fire opens. If Separatists make a move, we'll know."
Skywalker crossed his arms over his chest, his signature grin in place. "Good you've come up with the plan yourself so you won't be able to complain to me about it afterwards."
"You're not coming?" Ahsoka asked, her eyes widening in surprise but she quickly masked it with a smirk. "Afraid of getting your boots dirty?"
"Not really. Rex and I are joining Master Secura on Felucia. But you go have fun. You've planned the mission, so I guess there's no place in it for me anyway." Skywalker's voice was dripping with tease but Fives knew the man meant more than he was actually saying.
"No worries, Master. I won't have too much fun you could envy."
"What makes you think I won't have fun—"
"Are the two of you nearly finished yet?" Kenobi interrupted. He gave them an unimpressed look each, which succeeded in closing their mouths. "In that case, I'll pass our decision to Shenn and send you the coordinates, Ahsoka."
"I'll see you on the planetside, Master," she bowed her head slightly.
"Very well. See you then."
The meeting didn't last much longer after that, and soon, Fives and Ahsoka were wandering the halls again. Neither questioned the fact that he was escorting her to her cabin. Nor did either of them protest when he entered the room right after her.
"So, rumour has it Rex got a privy message the other night," Fives said as he made his way to her desk, letting go of his helmet there.
"Our captain has a secret beau?" Ahsoka mused, the sound of a kettle warming behind her.
"That's the most popular bet, anyway." The mattress screeched lightly under his weight.
"Any guesses who that might be?"
"A few names came up. Bo-Katan, some folks from the 79's. But Cody's at the top of the list."
Ahsoka laughed softly as the sugar packs flew to her palm from the other side of the room. Fives watched her carefully. He knew the rumour wasn't the top shelf of entertainment; similar gossip popped up every other day, just to lighten up the tired minds of the soldiers. Still, Ahsoka wasn't even half as amused as she normally would. Usually, at this point, she would shower him with her predictions and ask who was responsible for collecting credits on the bet.
"But I've added a new option to the bet," he continued. "That in less than an hour Rex would tear the whole thing down and give detention to everyone involved."
Ahsoka didn't even react to that. She silently handed him a mug and joined him on the bed. The sound of her fingertips nervously tapping on the edge of her cup was prevailing in the room.
"Hey," Fives reached out to gently touch her palm, coaxing her to meet his gaze. "You'll do great, you know that, right?"
She looked back down into her cup, her eye markings furrowed with worry. "That's more wishful thinking than anything."
"No, it's an educated bet," he insisted.
"Be careful, you might lose money on that."
"Soka," Fives said, his voice firm with conviction, "I don't know anyone more capable than you."
Ahsoka huffed, a hint of self-deprecation in her tone as she looked up at him. "You must keep in lousy company then. If I'm the peak of it."
"You're definitely the peak. But the rest? No way."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way—"
"I know," he cut her off gently. Sometimes, he forgot that beneath all that bravado, she still got scared. "Listen, the odds are pretty good already, with Kenobi having the upper hand on the situation. And I don't want to brag but I've heard the strategy for this one and it's pretty brilliant."
Ahsoka's lips twitched in the ghost of a smile.
"I can't think of one thing that could go wrong," Fives continued. "But if something does happen – I'll be there. I won't let anything bad happen to you." He knew that it wasn't her safety she was worried about but it was one thing he could promise. He didn't know if the mission was a trap; he couldn't end the siege or save every one of the soldiers. But he knew he could save her. He would do anything to protect her.
"I know," she said quietly. "It's just…been a while since I was in command by myself. And going in blind like that…" she sighed. Her eyes flicked up to meet his for a brief moment before she continued, "Please don't repeat that to the boys. Wouldn't exactly improve morale."
"You won't be by yourself," he assured, squeezing her hand. "We'll be there for you. 501st, Kenobi, all of us. We're a team." This seemed to finally reach Ahsoka. The corner of her lips lifted before she rested her head on his shoulder. Fives felt a warmth spread through him as if he'd just taken a sip of the hot tea still steaming in his hand.
"It'll go great, I can feel it," he continued softly. "And then, before you know it, we'll be back on Corrie. Hum of speeders, great sunsets, even better food."
Ahsoka hummed contently and he had a feeling she closed her eyes. Fives took a deep breath, bracing himself. Now or never.
"So I thought – once we're back – we could go out, you and I."
"I'd like that," she said dreamily. "We could visit Rhoro again."
"Actually," he swallowed the nerves. "I was thinking about something more…posh."
"Oh," Ahsoka suddenly lifted her head from his shoulder, facing him with a curious expression. Fives froze for a moment but then her agape lips stretched into a smug smile. "Can't wait to wear that tux again, huh? Can't say no to that. If only to see you wearing it."
"So I can count on you bringing my jacket?"
She smirked, tilting her head in mock consideration. "I suppose I could lend it to you for an hour or two."
"I might want to take more of your time than that…" he murmured, a smile ghosting over his lips. But then, Ahsoka's expression softened, her eyes searching his.
"Just to make sure we're on the same page…" she drawled with uncertainty. "It's a date?"
Fives nodded slowly, his thumb drawing small circles over her hand.
"It's a date."
The troops had been deployed in the middle of the day circle but by the time they reached Akarith, the darkness had fallen. The gunships dimmed their headlights as they neared to take cover behind the hills. As soon as Fives stepped out of the shuttle, he switched on the night vision, the landscape immediately coming to sharp relief.
They were ahead of schedule, with two standard hours remaining before the interception of the civilians. But there was no time to waste.
Ahsoka directed the platoon to move towards the capital and wait steadily on the off chance the Separatists decided against a fair fight. The second squad was to stand by for the signal, prepared to escort the civilians and transport them safely to the cruiser.
"Don't approach until I give the all-clear," Ahsoka instructed as she went over the plan once again. Fives listened to her steady voice, paying close attention to her every gesture when it struck him just how much she had grown. Not just as a person or Jedi but as a leader. It had been a while since her last mission during which she had to shoulder all the responsibility on her own. But even as she now carried the burden herself, her posture was straight. Any traces of anxiety she might have felt were either left behind or at least buried at the back of her head.
It wasn't just the crooked and biassed lenses through which Fives viewed her. He was surrounded by dozens of men who would follow her through hell if she asked. Their loyalty wasn't merely a product of the military hierarchy — it was trust built up over years and respect passed down through legends of her acts that needed no colouring.
Fives really should enjoy calling her 'commander' while he still could. It was a matter of time before she became a general, and that time was sooner rather than later. But would she be his general? That was a question he didn't have an answer to.
"Fives, with me," Ahsoka's voice pulled him from his thoughts.
"Yes, Commander."
Ahsoka and Fives sped through the darkness on speeder bikes, the night vision in his visor painting the vast meadows ahead. The landscape was dotted with groves, but the true focal point of it all, surrounded by low mountains, was the Akarith Capital.
They abandoned their speeders behind a thick line of bushes, covering the last few metres on foot. The ground was soaked from a recent torrent, Fives' boots sinking into the mud with every step. And while the rainwater couldn't seep through his armour, he noticed the damp stains spreading across Ahsoka's knees and calves as she pushed through the wet leaves and tall grass.
They finally halted at the top of the hill, dropping low into the underbrush. Below them, at the foot of the slope, lay the rendezvous point where the civilians were expected to arrive – but not for another half hour at least. For now, a warm breeze stirred the blades of grass, guiding them into a slow dance.
When he thought about it, it was quite atmospheric. The stars above, the distant chirping of night birds — if not for the rifle in his hands and the looming battle it could've been a nice place to confess his feelings.
"Ugh, that's disgusting," Ahsoka blurted, wiping mud off her hand and onto her pants.
Well, maybe it wasn't as romantic as he'd thought.
"Outrageous," Fives muttered. "These hideouts should have far better accommodations."
"At least a leather couch with TV."
"And a fully stacked fridge."
"Now you're being ridiculous."
Fives chuckled. Ridiculous was how much he enjoyed laying there in the cold, in the middle of the night, just because she was next to him. He could watch her for hours and not have enough. The way her eye markings furrowed and her nose wrinkled slightly as she peered through the binoculars, how she bit her lip in concentration—
"You know, spotting civilians is a lot easier when you're actually looking for them," Ahsoka remarked, still scanning the area. "Unless you think I'm in need of rescue?"
Fives' heart skipped a beat. Really, to get caught in such an obvious way…
"Well, you did say the conditions are scandalous," he said, quickly shifting his focus to where it was supposed to be for a while now. He really needed to get his shit together — it was a mission for Maker's sake, not a date.
"You can be my knight in shiny armour next time," she said. "The ships arrived early."
A low rumble of approaching vehicles cut through the night. Fives watched through the scope of his rifle as people began to disembark from the two transports, guarded by four droids. While Ahsoka commed Ginn to set off, Fives counted the civilians — fifteen, just like Shenn had said. The mission was going smoother than he'd anticipated; its end was literally within sight. Soon enough, he'd be back on Corrie, sipping champagne with Ahsoka on their date.
Fives gave a quick, reassuring nod. "Ready?"
"When you are."
"Always," he replied, his voice as steady as his grip on the rifle. Their speeders came to life with a hum and they rode down the hill.
The group of civilians stood huddled together in a tight circle, watched from behind by the battle droids. Most were human females but the few men that stood at the front were clothed in rustic attire, looking more like kidnapped farmers than city dwellers caught in the crossfire.
As soon as Fives approached, the people took a few steps back, pressing even closer together.
"It's okay," Ahsoka said calmly. She got off the speeder and with open palms raised made a slow walk towards them. "Look. The ship is going to take you to safety," she pointed to the gunship landing behind her. "You'll be taken to a cruiser where you'll be given asylum until this battle is over."
There was a long silence. The civilians' stares switched between Ahsoka, Fives and the shuttle. For a moment, Fives wondered if there was a language barrier and poor folks simply didn't understand one word. But then, a bulky-built man stepped forward.
"Alright. Looks we don't really have a choice." His voice was weary, as must've been his body, but he helped the rest of his people move towards the gunship.
Ahsoka began handing out the packs of supplies from the crate Ginn and Cob had brought. Fives decided to stay in the back — his armour didn't exactly inspire trust in civilians and he couldn't blame them. Regardless of which side of the conflict they supported, at the moment the clones were simply strangers taking them away from home. No better than the droids still standing at the back with their weapons on standby.
Ahsoka was doing her best to reassure the people. He could feel a wave of calmness prodding at his mind and was sure it was Ahsoka's doing through the Force. But Fives didn't give in to it; he had to stay alert. The moment the commotion erupted and a clank sounded, his hands instinctively reached for his holster.
A woman had knocked over a supply pack, sending it tumbling to the ground. Clutching the child in her arms tightly, she watched Ahsoka with a wary gaze as the Jedi knelt to retrieve the pack.
"It's not poisoned," Ahsoka said gently. She opened the bottle and took a sip. "See?"
The woman's gaze lingered on the bottle before she snatched it with a sudden movement. But Fives noticed that, after making her distance, she drank half its contents in one draught.
"That's all," Cob reported once civilians were aboard the gunship. Ahsoka was about to respond when a voice sounded through the commlink channel.
"Commander, we've spotted some movement on Separatist side."
"They're really not wasting any time, huh…" Ahsoka muttered to herself before activating the comm. "Ginn, take the ship back to Resolute ASAP. I want them out of the atmosphere before the first shot is fired. Thep, Broody, Inks, move out to support General Kenobi's forces."
"Yes, Commander," the voices echoed over the channel. The gunship's doors closed and the craft ascended into the air.
"Come on, looks like the ceasefire has reached its time," Ahsoka urged Fives over the engines' uproar. He had barely taken two steps when the air filled with the sound of blaster bolts and explosions from the city.
But what froze him in place was the high-pitched whine of a missile hurtling through the air towards the gunship. The shuttle had barely managed to ascend above the tallest building in the city when the projectile smashed into its side.
The gunship shook violently in the air, black smoke billowing from its side. For a moment, the ship wobbled, its engines flickering weakly before it began to descend. But then the ship hovered in the air. The engines continued to flicker miserably, failing to lift its weight but the ship remained in place. Fives looked back at Ahsoka, her hands reaching out, her muscles strained and face set in concentration as she held the tons of durasteel above the city.
As Ahsoka tried to do the unbelievable, Fives covered her from the fire of the battle droids. He took them out swiftly before any bolts could reach Ahsoka. He turned and watched in horror as the thick smoke clouded the sky, fearing how long Ahsoka would manage to keep the gunship hanging in the air. There wasn't much he could do except stand by and listen to the desperate screams that erupted over his comm channel.
"—we need backup!"
"—Ginn, do you copy?"
"The shields are down!"
"Another ship enters the space—"
But all these screams didn't tell him anything he couldn't see with his own eyes.
Ahsoka trembled with effort but managed to hold the ship in place until the engines turned back on. Fives thought it was going to work. The engines flared again despite the fire consuming the left side of the machine and the craft began to rise. But just as it moved, another missile slashed the sky, colliding with the transporter.
"No!" Ahsoka's scream ripped from her throat.
She reached out, trying to grasp the ship once more, but it was too late. The gunship erupted in a massive explosion, tearing itself apart. Large chunks of it hurtled downward to crash into the buildings below — right where Ahsoka was running.
"Commander? Ahsoka!" Fives called, chasing after her, but she seemed oblivious to his voice.
"Move! We have to help them!" Ahsoka tore through the bushes. Her feet stumbled on the slick, muddy ground as she raced toward the inferno; her eyes fixed on the fire eating the ship alive.
"I don't think there's— Ahsoka! It's too late!" He finally managed to grab her wrist only for her to yank away.
"No! We have to go! We have to—" she couldn't force the words out. Her breath came in ragged gasps, not just from the run. The first parts of the ship had already collided with the buildings, flames striking into the sky, but that still didn't stop Ahsoka. So instead Fives did.
"Ahsoka, stop! Ahsoka—" he finally managed to grab her hand. Against her struggle to push forward, Fives wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her in place — at least until her panic attack subsided; before she ran off and got herself killed.
"Let me go! We have to help them!" Ahsoka screamed, struggling against him. Fives tightened his hold around her. "They need us! We can— We still can… Let go of me!"
He couldn't even imagine what she felt in the Force. She screamed but Fives supposed it was merely an echo of what she could hear in her mind. There was nothing they could do anymore except stare at the catastrophe before their eyes. Ahsoka slowly began to realise that too.
She stopped fighting him, her body going limp as her last shout remained unvoiced. Fives carefully loosed his hold but as soon as he released her, Ahsoka fell to her knees. She remained still, only tears rolled down her cheeks while she watched the fire enlightening the night.
Time passed, Ahsoka's sobs got gradually drowned out by the crackling fire and the thick, acrid odour filled the air. After several minutes, Ahsoka suddenly stood up.
"We need to get to the city," she said, her voice hoarse. She didn't even bother to wipe her tears away; the wind took care of that as they raced towards the city.
Once they reached the capital, there wasn't much of a battle left to fight. A few droids lay scattered and broken, strewing a path to the palace. The city had been cleared of the enemy forces but the scene felt anything but a victory parade. Fives walked alongside Ahsoka, glad he didn't have to look at the flames still burning behind their backs.
The palace had already been secured by the 212th troopers. A brief conversation with Kenobi was enough to clarify what had happened: the Separatists were low on supplies and Shenn must have known that the battle clash would inevitably end with his failure and capture. So he didn't risk fighting one. Their last missiles destroyed the gunship whose carcass was sufficient to cause enough damage. Amid the chaos it created, Shenn fled.
With no Admiral, this really was the end of Kenobi's siege. But it felt far from triumphant.
Fives helped the 212th boys salvage whatever they could from the palace commanding centre before they would get the hell out of there. It was a quick job, though — apart from a few maps and the lingering stench of death, there wasn't much left.
As he walked through the dim corridors, he stumbled upon a room that hadn't been checked yet. The door was ajar though, light streaming into the hall. Carefully, he approached but stopped at the threshold. The rising sun poured through the shattered glass of a window, its rays blindingly bright. In front of it stood Ahsoka, her back to him, staring at the bloody sunrise. She must have already checked the space because right there her hand was clenched tightly around something, her nails digging deep into the dark fabric of an officer's kepi.
Returning to the Resolute was harder than Fives could have imagined. Not only were they coming back with fewer men than they'd deployed but also there were no civilians waiting for them on the cruiser. Nothing had gone as it should have. The entire day was a kriffing nightmare. To think just a few hours earlier the biggest of his worries had been where to book a table. The imagined date never seemed further than now.
But his real concern was Ahsoka. Fives observed her from the corner of his eye the entire trip to the Resolute. Her jaw was clenched tight, her teeth gritted, and she had barely spoken a word since the explosions. Soon she would have to report to the Council, where finding her voice would be even harder.
The hangar was crowded and chaotic, hardly the place for a serious conversation, but Fives knew it couldn't wait. He had to talk to her before she reached the bridge. Not even the mass of people swirling around each other will stop him from who he meant to reach. But reaching her physically was the easier part.
"Soka," Fives called out, loud enough so she couldn't pretend not to have heard him. Ahsoka stopped but didn't turn around. He was glad she did that much. He took those two extra steps to face her. Or at least so she could stare at his shoes because her gaze wasn't rising any higher. "Look, I know today was…a disaster. I'm sorry it happened."
Ahsoka didn't react in any way. He knew he'd be the one doing the talking but it would've been easier if he knew how she was taking it. And since he could only see the top of her montrals, there was no telling.
"I know nothing I say will turn back time," he continued. "But I'm here for you; to talk or stay silent – whatever you want me to." He hoped she would reply, and surprisingly, she did, but didn't really sound like herself.
"Yeah, later, maybe. Right now I have to—" Her voice cracked, and she stopped herself, clearly not ready to even think about what was to come. Fives realised 'later' was all he was going to get right now. But he could work with that.
"Hey, one step at a time, okay?" he said gently. Ahsoka nodded, a small, reluctant motion. Fives reached out, cautiously taking her hand. To his content, she didn't pull away.
"I'll find you after your meeting and we'll talk some more, all right?" he offered softly. Another nod. "We'll work it out. I promise. It wasn't your fault, so—"
"I need to go," she snapped, yanking her hand away. Before he could respond, she brushed past him.
Fives stood there helpless, watching as her fists clenched at her sides and shoulders slumped. Soon she disappeared among the blue-white armour.
As soon as Fives got cleared of his duty, he rushed to the mess. He didn't expect to find Ahsoka there — he knew better than that. She was probably barricaded in her quarters, hoping to hide from her own grief. But Fives had torn down tougher walls and was ready to do it again. The mess was merely a stop for provisions. He knew Ahsoka wouldn't care about this most basic survival necessity, not after what had happened. He packed some food – not the most nutritious, but one he had a chance to coax Ahsoka into eating – and set off towards the officers' cabins.
On his way, Fives wondered if Skywalker had already heard the news and called his padawan. The man might not be the most tactful person in the galaxy but tended to be where it mattered most. Normally, in moments like this, there would be Anakin and Rex to help shoulder the burden. But without their presence, it was on Fives alone to take care of Ahsoka.
He didn't know if she needed space and he should leave her be or if she wanted a shoulder to cry on. He decided it was better to risk it and go to her – if she was angry and wanted to be alone, Fives would let her yell at him to release the anger and let her mourn alone. But if there was even a small chance she wanted company, Fives knew Ahsoka wouldn't ask for it. So he came to her.
Fives knocked gently on her door and the sound resonated in the empty corridor. The echo managed to die away but the door hadn't moved. He knocked again. Then again. And again. The silence that followed was unnerving. He half-expected her to call that she was fine or angrily yell at him to leave her alone, but there was nothing. She didn't even bother to say a word. Was she hoping he would take the hint and leave? He didn't want to push her if she really wanted solitude. But what if something happened? What if she had hidden some injury and had fainted in her cabin? That wouldn't be unlike her.
Before his imagination could run wild, Fives tried the panel. To his surprise, the door wasn't sealed and opened easily. Only that Ahsoka wasn't there.
He walked into the room. The lights flickered on automatically, casting a warm glow over the space. He checked the fresher, but it was also empty. Everything seemed per usual, untouched, except for the boots discarded in the middle of the room. The mud from the mission had already dried and flaked off onto the floor. It was only one of the many messes he had to mend.
Fives quickly left the room. It wasn't just the case if she needed him. He needed her. To make sure she was okay. To silence the nagging voice in his head and soothe the dread roiling in his chest.
He spent the next hours combing the cruiser, checking every place he could think of. In the beginning, he kept asking every person he passed if they had seen the commander, but after so many negatives he grew irritated and stopped. Fine. He would find her by himself. If there was anyone who could do that, it was him. He would check every room if needed. The training rooms, the observation deck, the hangar, even the maintenance corridors she sometimes used as a shortcut. But no matter which doors he opened, he closed them with growing despair.
It was the middle of the graveyard shift when he circled back to her quarters. The sound of his own footsteps followed him like an irritable ticking of a chrono, only now gradually slowing the tempo. Still, he approached her doors, clinging to the hope that she returned to her room. But once he stepped inside, it was clear: Ahsoka simply didn't want to be found. Not just by the world but by him too.
With a heavy heart, Fives stepped back into the corridor. The weight of his armour was weighing on his tired body, but the heaviest was the knowledge that while he could protect her amid battles and wars, he couldn't save her if she simply didn't want him to.