The music boomed around him, the fast rhythm reverberating in his chest as he stood by the bar. The 79's was particularly crowded tonight but despite the throngs of revellers, Fives managed to find a place by himself. It wasn't his idea to come to the club, nor did he feel like being here. Tup and Jesse had practically dragged him out of the barracks, though he hadn't put up much of a fight. After everything that had happened, he didn't have the strength to do so.
But now, as his brothers found old friends from other legions, Fives was left by the counter alone. Despite Tup's assurances, the party mood didn't rub off on him. The music and laughter were just noise and the alcohol tasted more bitter than usual. Still, it was better than sitting in the barracks, hoping she would eventually come. That would be delusional. At least here in the crowded club, he was less likely to do something as foolish as barging into the Temple to check on Ahsoka.
The past few days had been…rough. While still on the Resolute, Fives had tried to talk to Ahsoka, but without much success. She hadn't come to the barracks or even the mess hall. Four days passed like that, and he had only seen her two times at best — three if he counted catching a glimpse of her in the hangar as she quickly passed by. But ever since they were stationed on Coruscant, Ahsoka had disappeared completely. She didn't come to the compound, didn't answer his calls. He didn't need to be told to know the date was off the table. Right now even a minute's conversation would mean worlds, but that seemed just as unlikely.
Fives understood, or at least he tried to. She was back at the Temple, back home with her fellow Jedi. She didn't need him anymore.
He wasn't mad, really. He wasn't the only one Ahsoka had been avoiding so he tried not to take it personally. Everyone grieved differently. Right now, around him, were hundreds of brothers getting all that shit out of their system, and he wasn't about to judge. He could advise that drowning in alcohol or hooking up with strangers wasn't the way to cope with war's scars, but he wasn't going to judge.
Similarly, he wanted to give Ahsoka some space. Pushing her too hard wouldn't get him anywhere. Knowing her, she had already holed up somewhere where she could be alone with her self-blame. Not the best solution in Fives' opinion, but certainly better than drinking into oblivion like some of his brothers did.
The song ended giving his ears momentary relief before another rumbling beat began. He hadn't even finished a glass but after three hours of this noise, he felt as if hungover. Ironically, maybe alcohol would actually be a remedy to that. Before Fives could consider that option, a clone joined him by the bar, ending his solitude.
"What a night, huh?!" The man called, much louder than necessary. He heavily sat on the bar stool, placing his cup firmly on the counter, making Fives' own drink tremble.
"Lively," Fives said flatly. He recognised his companion as part of the 327th Specter Corps. Bryz, if he remembered correctly.
"Kriffing sure it is! After what we pulled on Kessel it better be!" Bryz cheered, not reading Fives' mood. He clinked his cup against Fives' glass and downed his beer in one go. Fives might've actually been curious about the battle if his interlocutor's storytelling skills hadn't deteriorated under alcohol's influence. And judging by the next beer coming right up to him, it wasn't going to get better.
Fives tried to make his escape but Bryz was faster, launching into his victory story and ordering a round for himself and his 'friend'. Fives didn't touch the shots, but Bryz didn't even notice when he drank for both of them. Once he started babbling, he didn't really pay attention to anything else. Fives probably could've walked away himself, but for some reason, listening to this mindless chatter helped keep his thoughts away from Ahsoka.
"—so I tell 'em to put those Jawas down but they karkin' wouldn't listen…" Bryz slurred, straying off topic for the umpteenth time. He'd been losing track more often than a blind Kaadu in a desert. "And then I… I… Where was I?"
"The Jawas," Fives supplied.
"Right," he nodded, then spaced out again. Fives thought he would have to prompt the subject once more but Bryz suddenly turned to him. "You not the talker, are ya?"
Fives almost laughed, both at the unexpected shift in the conversation and how inaccurate the statement was. But perhaps he wasn't exactly himself either. "Not today, man," he replied simply.
"Not without your lovely commander, huh?" Bryz mused with a knowing grin. "Don't worry, she'll come next time."
"Right," Fives nodded just to not get into that subject. He came here to not be thinking about his lovely commander. Unfortunately, Bryz went on.
"Trust me, she'll miss you and come back," Bryz said with a reassuring pat on Fives' shoulder, as if a few drinks made him an expert in matters of the heart. "One bar night in underlevels and she'll get enough for a lifetime."
Fives frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Liquor below 1800 is piss. Not worth a broken credit—"
"I mean about Commander Tano," Fives cut him short. "What do you mean 'one night in underlevels'?"
"Oh, yeah. Tassav said, that Vox heard…" Fives clenched his jaw, trying to keep his patience. If he cut Bryz's train of thought he might have to hear it all from the beginning. "...from Ker that Nott saw her on 1373. Abyssal Row's no place for a Jedi you'd think but—"
"Are you sure it was Ahsoka?"
Bryz squinted, the haze of alcohol clouding his eyes. "Where?"
"Forget it," Fives snapped, already pushing away from the bar. In seconds, he was by the exit. He snatched a stray poncho from a chair, pulling it over his head as he stepped outside. In the past few hours, the temperature had fallen but it hardly mattered to him. The armour itself, however, was drawing too much attention, and the kind you didn't want to attract below level 2000.
Fives had a long way down. He changed trains for the sixth time and descended over five hundred levels, still, the anger hadn't left him. He'd had to listen to all those nonsense stories about rusty speeders and limping gundark while Ahsoka was out there, alone and in danger. Bryz should have karking started with that. Why, for kriff's sake, had no one done anything? She was their commander. They shouldn't have left her alone like that. Because Bryz was right about one thing — level 1373 was no place for her.
Unless, of course, she wasn't there.
Why would she even go that low? Why would she leave the Temple at all? It made no sense. It didn't sound like Ahsoka. Bryz was drunk off his ass; he wouldn't distinguish a porg from a rankor, let alone spot her in a crowd. Fives should've thought of that before he took off from the 79's and rode miles further down underground. Surely Ahsoka was in the Temple, safe and sound, not wandering alone in the slums. Yet, that conviction didn't stop him from walking into Abyssal Row, checking every bar he could find.
It seemed like the only thing he'd been doing lately was searching for Ahsoka. Only now he was doing so in the least probable places. He was passing all those sleemos, wrinkling his nose at the smell of pot and filth, and he couldn't even imagine Ahsoka being somewhere around. He'd been coming in and out of the bars and clubs, some of them nearly empty, others packed so tightly he had to fight his way through the crowd to check every corner. Each time he walked out, he breathed a sigh of relief to escape the stench and noise.
He now walked down a dilapidated road, red and blue neons flickering above his head. The distant echo of music faded and he turned his gaze away from the dealers in the side alleys — he wasn't playing lawman today.
He stopped before another battered door and, with a sigh, pushed it open.
The wooden floor and furniture were covered in dents and scratches. There were colourful lights on the counter but every second one was broken. The paint was peeling off the walls, begging for renovation but it seemed forgotten just like the 'no smoking' sign. The local area was filled with cigarette smell, the furniture certainly soaked in it. Some trashy music was playing rather loud but he could still hear angry shouting from the floor above. The venue wasn't big but partitions divided it into even smaller parts, making it impossible to see all the customers.
Fives went straight to the counter.
"I'm looking for—"
The bartender didn't wait for him to finish. The Besalisk simply nodded toward a table in the back. Fives turned around, sceptical, but there he saw her. The lights were dim and she was partially obscured by the partition wall, but Fives had no doubt it was Ahsoka.
How the Besalisk knew who Fives was looking for — he couldn't say. Maybe he'd caught a glimpse of Ahsoka's saber, recognised the armour plates on Fives' shins and connected the facts. Or perhaps they both looked equally ill-fitted in a place like this.
Ahsoka was sitting alone by the counter, her legs dangling slightly from the high bar stool, a row of empty glasses and two bottles beside her. After such a long separation, finally seeing her felt surreal, even more so in such scenery. He didn't know if he was more relieved that he finally found her or terrified that she really had been here.
Fives muttered a quick thanks to the bartender, even though would've appreciated it more had the man not let Ahsoka buy all those drinks. Then again, business was business, after all.
As he walked through the venue, Fives felt eyes on him— everyone's except those he cared about. Fives expected Ahsoka to turn in his direction as his boots thudded on the wooden floorboards, but she didn't notice him until he stood beside her and spoke up,
"If you were going drinking, you could do the least and invite me."
Ahsoka raised her head, clearly her Force sensitivity was too dimmed with alcohol to sense him beforehand. Her eyes flickered with recognition as she eyed him.
"Nice rig," she said hoarsely, before returning her gaze to the glass in her hand. The bottle of Prow next to her was almost empty, the blue liquor shining at the bottom. "How did you find me?"
"I have my ways," he said, sitting down next to her. He eyed the empty glasses on her table which seemed way too many for one person. His frown deepened when Ahsoka raised another cup to her mouth. "It doesn't seem like the best idea," he mused sceptically.
"None of mine are," she retorted grimly and downed the glass in one go. The bitter drink would normally make her shiver in disgust, but now she didn't even flinch. "If the place doesn't suit you, you're more than welcome to leave," she snapped, her tone defensive.
Fives raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you gonna offer me a drink first? Unless you've already emptied their stock."
"Funny," she scoffed. "Any more brilliant remarks you want to share?"
"You know that's not why I'm here."
"Then why are you here?" she challenged sharply.
Because I love you. But those words had to wait for another time.
"Because I care about you," he said instead.
Ahsoka's jaw tightened, and she looked away. She picked up the glass again and started playing with it, leaving her thoughts to herself.
Fives had a few questions he'd love her to answer. Like, why hadn't she told him she was coming here? Why was she trying so hard to cut him out of her life? Why didn't she trust him? And while perhaps a drunken Ahsoka would be more sincere than her sober version, he knew asking these at any time wouldn't help either of them. He swallowed his frustration and focused on the situation at hand.
He looked around the bar. It wasn't crowded and somehow that made it worse. Their conversation had drawn too much attention from the customers and they definitely didn't need that. The dim lighting plunged the corners of the room into darkness and he didn't like not knowing who was hiding there.
"All right, let's call it a night," Fives said, trying to keep his voice light. He knew he needed all the encouragement to coax her into getting out of here. "Let's go."
"No," Ahsoka replied firmly. There was no anger, her face barely showed any emotion besides weariness. She swiftly grabbed the bottle and poured herself another shot, spilling some of the liquor in the process. She definitely had more than one too many.
Before Ahsoka could grab the glass, Fives did it first and dragged it away from her reach, holding it tightly so she couldn't take it with the Force.
"What would you say for water instead?" he offered.
Ahsoka ignored his question and fired back with her own, "Why won't you say it? Come on, I can see you want to. Why won't you scold me for coming here? For screwing things up?" Her eyes burned with anger. She looked like she was daring him to lash out, like she needed him to be angry so she wouldn't be the only one hating herself.
But Fives could never do that.
"Do I look like I would?" he said softly.
Ahsoka glared at him as if that could provoke him into yelling. But it also ended with her failure. She turned away in frustration and hid her face in her hands. "You're really not going to leave?" she asked, her voice muffled by her palms.
"Not without you."
Ahsoka sighed heavily. She rubbed small circles on her temple to fight the growing headache before finally making a move to get off the stool. Fives reached out to steady her only for her to brush him off with a wave of her palm. Ahsoka leaned on the counter for support but as her feet slid from the bar chair she fell to the ground. Fives caught her before her knees made contact with the floor.
"Alright?" he asked, helping her upright.
"Yeah," she said with a grimace. As soon as she steadied her feet, she pushed him away even though her legs still wobbled. From now on Fives made sure to keep a secure hand near her back. He helped her put on her jacket, since finding the sleeves turned out to be an especially problematic task, and together they made it to the door.
Ahsoka shuddered as a cold breeze hit her. Her flushed cheeks were even more prominent under the street lights. Each of her breaths turned into puffs of mist.
"Where to?" she asked bluntly.
"Barracks?" Fives suggested, and thankfully Ahsoka agreed — he had no other options really. He didn't have access to the Temple, and besides, he didn't want to let her out of his sight now that he'd finally found her.
They started a slow walk toward the train station. Fives would rather get the hell out of there as quickly as possible — venturing this deep into the Underworld seemed like a bad idea in midday, doing so at night was a peak of stupidity. But, despite Fives' coaxing, Ahsoka wouldn't let him carry her, preferring to walk. Although 'walking' was a stretch—she was stumbling forward, leaning heavily against Fives. He kept a firm arm around her waist, holding most of her weight. His other hand hovered near his holster, hidden beneath his cloak, ready to pull out the blaster if needed.
They managed to travel quite smoothly to level 1882 when a delayed train left them stranded at the station. They sat on a bench, waiting for the whistle of the incoming train, but the platform remained eerily silent. Every clank and cough echoed in the vast space. Some Weequay was rummaging through the trash nearby, empty bottles clashing at his feet. Two high Snivvians lay sprawled on the floor at the far end of the station, muttering incoherently with purple-stained mouths. Fives kept a cautious eye on them all but most of his attention was on Ahsoka.
Unlike the usual effect the alcohol had on her, she wasn't chatty. Her eyes were unfocused and distant. She would've looked like a carbon statue if not for the shivering that only strengthened with time. She had folded arms over her chest in an attempt to warm herself but it clearly wasn't enough. Without a word, Fives wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer.
"'m not cold," Ahsoka protested immediately.
"I know. I am."
She scoffed. She tried to play self-sufficient and tough. He knew that act. But this time she couldn't hold it out for long. Soon, her muscles relaxed, teeth stopped chattering and she melted into his side.
Fives kept his arm around her, his thumb absently drawing small circles on her shoulder. He kept glancing at the digital timetable across the tracks but the delay kept stretching out. The distant noise of the city above wasn't enough to keep his mind distracted, so he forced himself to look for positives in his current position. For one, he found Ahsoka. Her intoxicated state was not ideal, but was relatively easy to treat. The concreteness of the next steps was also reassuring — get her to safety, provide a bed, and give a warm meal when she woke up. Hopefully in the morning she would be more willing to talk and he could comfort her, as he had done so many times in the past.
"I'm sorry," Ahsoka said suddenly, breaking through his thoughts. The change in her tone was almost startling.
"It's okay," Fives assured her gently. "I'm not angry."
"I'm sorry," she repeated, her voice cracking as her eyes squeezed shut. "I'm so sorry."
Fives' chest tightened and his fingers flexed on her shoulder. It wasn't him she was apologising to.
"We're almost there," he said, squeezing her arm reassuringly. "We'll be at the barracks soon."
Fives wished he knew where to go from there.
By the time they reached the compound, the consumed alcohol had already taken a toll on Ahsoka. Her speech had become slurred and she swayed as if she was swimming in the rough sea. Fives was practically carrying her now, her legs uncoordinatedly dragging one after the other. He tried to make the journey through the compound as quick as possible, encountering as few troopers as they could. Both the graveyard shift and the night of the fourth day of the week played in his favour. Once they entered the barracks it turned out to be empty. It was 501st's first leave on Coruscant in a long while, no wonder everybody took advantage of it.
"I'm gonna get you some water, okay?" Fives said, easing Ahsoka down onto his bunk. Her head moved but he couldn't tell if it was a nod or just part of her overall swaying. She clung to the bedpost like it was a mast of the boat on the uneasy waters. He only hoped she wouldn't drown while he was gone.
Fives hurried to get water, then made a quick stop at Tup's bed, grabbing the hangover pills Tup had prepared for himself on his return from the club. There was a pang of guilt in Fives' chest but there were also priorities. Surely Tup would've understood if he knew the situation.
Returning to his bunk, Fives was relieved to find Ahsoka in the same place he left her. Sitting beside her, he gently pried her hands from the bedpost. As soon as she was free, she slumped against him, pressing her palms to his chest for balance.
"Here," Fives murmured, handing her the water and medicine. Ahsoka accepted his offering, draining the glass in one go. Once she finished, her head lolled and rested against his shoulder, her forehead brushing his cheek. She tightened her fingers around his cloak, gripping it as if it were a lifeline. Her hot breath ghosted over his skin as she nuzzled into the crook of his neck.
"Soka, you should get some sle—" His words cut off abruptly as he felt soft lips pressed to his neck.
He shuddered, his heartbeat racing as Ahsoka's lips continued to trail hot kisses along his jaw. She moved slowly, tracing a downward path, her mouth pressing hard and never breaking contact with his skin.
"Fives…" she whispered against his neck. Her lips went lower, reaching as far as the collar of his bodysuit allowed, setting his skin on fire. It took him way too long to wrap his head around what was happening before he stopped Ahsoka by grabbing her shoulders.
"Kark," he gasped, holding her away for his own sanity's sake. "You really are drunk." His chest was rising quickly, heartbeat pounding in his ears, but Ahsoka seemed to have already forgotten what had just happened, her eyes dazed and blinking slowly. He took a calming breath.
"Come on, you need sleep." And I need a cold shower, he thought.
After some guidance, Ahsoka's head finally rested on his pillow. Fives gently took off her boots and pulled the duvet over her. Once her breathing settled into a deep sleep, he sat on the edge of the bed, taking a moment of credit.
Fives knew it wasn't ideal though. The men will return to barracks eventually and she certainly wouldn't want them to see her like that. Maybe he could break into Rex's cabin. Since the captain was off the planet, Ahsoka would have a calm and private place to rest. He didn't manage to think this through before the door to the barracks opened.
"What's the commander doing here?" sounded Kix's accusing voice. Fives didn't know if by 'here' the medic meant the compound, the barracks or Fives' bed. "And why is she drunk?" Kix added after closer examination.
"Can we go straight to the prescription part?" Fives said dryly. It wasn't his place to disclose what nightmares were tormenting Ahsoka's soul. Kix seemed to understand.
"There's an empty room in the medbay," the medic said.
Fives nodded and carefully lifted Ahsoka into his arms, her head resting against his shoulder. She didn't even stir, her body limp and heavy. She remained asleep the entire way to the medical bay. Fives could feel Kix's stare on him, but thankfully the man didn't say anything — at least not until they reached the medbay.
"This way," Kix pushed open the door to the empty room. It was a private space, with a single bed, a chest of drawers and a set of chairs and a table. Fives gently laid Ahsoka on the bed, her head lolling to the side. He had to fight the urge to brush her cheek with his palm.
"Anything specific I should be checking Commander over for?" Kix asked as he pulled out a small device to scan her vitals.
"Only excessive amount of Prow," Fives muttered.
He watched as Kix hooked her up to an IV to keep her hydrated, but that was all that he could do — it wasn't her body that needed healing.
"She'll be alright," Kix informed, breaking through Fives' thoughts. "Night of rest should do it. I'll keep an eye on her."
Fives nodded slowly, still watching Ahsoka's face. The worry lines didn't ease even in her sleep.
"Ahsoka being here like this…" he said, shifting his gaze to Kix. "Let's keep it to ourselves."
Kix raised an eyebrow. His eyes widened at the sharp edge of Fives' voice. "Keeping it out of the records doesn't mean it didn't happen."
"I'm quite capable of understanding that much," Fives retorted sarcastically.
"I'm just saying, I'm not sure if by covering her you're doing her a favour."
"She's got enough to worry about," Fives said, his voice hardening. "Getting her to excuse herself for one mistake won't exactly make her feel better."
Kix said nothing to that. They stood there for a moment, staring at Ahsoka's asleep form. Fives suddenly felt just how exhausted he was.
"I won't come back for the next hour," Kix said finally, heading for the door. "But once I do, the room is patients only."
"Thanks," Fives said, and he really meant it.
Once the door closed, Fives moved to the chair beside Ahsoka's bed. All the worry and tension he'd been trying to keep at bay, now crashed over him. He slumped back, sinking deeper into the chair.
Fives had always thought he could help Ahsoka by being there for her — treating her insecurities, offering a shoulder to cry on, like he always had. But what if Kix was right? What if that wasn't enough? Because this wasn't like any other time before. She had never done anything as reckless and desperate as wandering alone to the underworld — it was one hideout he had never thought he'd have to get her out of. And even though he was looking at her sleeping figure, he wasn't sure he entirely did.
Fives leaned forward, elbows hit his knees. His hands ran through his hair as he tried to push the thoughts away. It must've been just one step of grieving, part of the healing. Tomorrow would be different, he reasoned. He'd talk to her and things would get better.
But he couldn't exactly convince himself.
Fives woke up with a wave of dizziness. The few hours of sleep he'd managed weren't exactly enough to make up for last night's stress.
Rubbing his eyes, he sat up on the bed. The barracks were filled with snoring. From the surroundings bunks hung stray limbs which escaped from under the covers. He checked the chrono but despite the early hour, he decided against returning to sleep. A shower and strong caff would have to sober him enough.
Fives crawled out of the bed and moved towards the fresher when he stumbled over something. His feet walked into two knee-length leather boots, which lay exactly where he had left them the night before. Great. In his rush to get Ahsoka to the medbay, he'd forgotten to take her boots along, and now she was left barefoot. Hopefully, she'd still be asleep before he got there.
With his mind clearer after the shower, two steaming cups of caff in hand and Ahsoka's boots tucked under his arm, Fives headed for medbay. On the way to Ahsoka's room, Kix gave him a brief summary that the commander had slept through the night and was now getting ready to leave. Fives thanked him, and continued down the corridor to the sector at the end.
His quiet knock was met with a soft, "Come in."
The room was brightly lit, Ahsoka's bed already made, and she was just reaching for her jacket draped over the chair beside it.
"Hey," he greeted, keeping his voice low, mindful of her hangover. "You might need these." He handed her the boots.
"Thanks," Ahsoka said, taking them. She looked surprised but didn't question it. Fives wondered how much of yesterday she remembered.
"How're you feeling?" he started with an easy question before he would trouble her with more difficult ones. He followed her to the table, setting the cups on the counter, before taking a seat across from her.
"Hangover," Ahsoka admitted, pulling on her shoes. "But better." She was acting so calm. Fives tried to read her, to gauge what was going through her mind, but she had yet to make eye contact with him.
"I wanted to say thanks for picking me up last night," she said but the words didn't exactly leave her mouth with ease.
"That's alright," he assured gently. "Just next time give me a heads-up on where to look for you."
"There won't be next time," she said, her voice devoid of humour.
Fives' chest tightened. He knew he had to choose his words carefully but that required time and she zipped her shoe with a firmness that indicated her quick exit. He had hoped the caff would keep her for a while but she showed no intention of reaching for it.
"Ahsoka," he said in a desperate attempt to stop her, still unsure what his next words should be. She met his eyes, her own narrowed in a challenge.
"I…understand that you need some space and I tried to respect that," Fives started slowly. "But I don't know how to help when you're not letting me too." He made a pause, giving her an opportunity to say something but her lips only pressed into a firm line. "It's okay to grieve and take time to process everything but taking blame for something you didn't do won't help—" he was still talking when Ahsoka stood up from her chair and moved towards the door. He followed her, his voice firm, "I said it before and will again; it wasn't your fault. It's not you who shot that ship—"
"But it was my plan!" she burst out, turning abruptly to him. "And it failed! I failed them!"
"I understand that you see it as a failure as a commander but—"
"As a commander?!" she interrupted with a bitted, humourless laugh. "Kark, I killed those people! I'm a failure as a kriffing being!"
"That's not true—"
"—I should've realised sooner something was wrong. Should've been there with them!"
"And do what? Die?" he countered. "Because there was nothing more anyone could've done. You did not cause their death. You did not murder them. That kriffing meatbag did. But not you."
Ahsoka stared at him, her eyes welling up with tears. His voice softened again, "I really need you to see that."
Her lip started trembling, chest rose quickly and the first tears fell onto her cheeks.
"Soka, you're a good person," Fives said softly, stepping closer. "You save lives." He took two more careful steps forward, slowly wrapping his arms around her back. He hugged her lightly, giving her a chance to pull away if she wanted. But Ahsoka leaned into his embrace, her hands covering her face as she began to cry.
"It's gonna be okay," he whispered soothingly, his hand moving gently over her back. "Everything's gonna be okay."
Ahsoka sobbed quietly, her tears soaking his shirt. It was a rainpour that kept on going, but he hoped it would bring her some relief. After several minutes, her breathing began to settle. And for the first time in a week, he saw a glimpse of his Ahsoka. He started to believe that things would get better from there.
But then she pulled away from him. She took two steps back and when he met her eyes, they were cold and distant again.
Without a word, she turned and left the room. Somehow, Fives couldn't shake the feeling his words had had a different effect than he had intended.
Days passed, and spotting Ahsoka had practically become a new bet among the 501st. However, this time was different. She was locking herself in the command centre for hours, poring over archives until the first rays of daylight filtered through. Sometimes, she'd disappear in the dead of night, take a ship to Maker knows where only to return without a word. And as long as Skywalker and Kenobi were off planet, there was no one she had to explain herself to.
Fives tried to catch her, tried to crack her routine, but there wasn't one. The only constant was the ever-deepening circles under her eyes, growing darker every time he saw her. The other troopers noticed too. Her harsh stare was enough to keep them from even attempting lighthearted conversation. Everyone knew something was wrong, but no one dared to say it aloud.
But despite all that, Fives didn't give up. He was persistent, knocking on her door, basically camping outside the command centre just to hear her voice. But no matter what he said or did, the conversations ended the same way: with her walking away. The only variation was whether she slammed the door with a shout or deaf silence.
It was exhausting to not be able to reach her. Each rejection chipped away at his hope he stubbornly tried to keep alive. Slowly, Fives began to fear that the situation was beyond him, that his determination alone wasn't enough. He hated the thought that someone else might be better cut out for taking care of Ahsoka than him. And as much as he hated admitting it, a part of him felt relief when he heard the news that Skywalker was back. Not a day had passed before a meeting was called — only that it wasn't the general who summoned it.
Fives and Rex waited in the dimly lit commanding centre. Ahsoka stood by the holomap, its blue glow casting shadows on her face. She flicked through her notes relentlessly, her hands trembling ever so slightly as they waited for Skywalker. All this time Fives could feel Rex's confused and quizzical glances darting from Ahsoka to him. But Fives didn't return the look. The only sound was the low hum of the holoprojector, until the door slid open with a hiss and Anakin strode in.
"Well, if this isn't a welcoming committee, I don't know what is. Miss me that much, Snips?" he quipped but his smirk quickly waned. One look over Ahsoka was enough to slow his step and bring a surprise to his face. Fives realised he must've been contacting Ahsoka only through voice calls where it was easier for her to fool the general. Right now her rigid posture took him aback and the coldness of her voice didn't help.
"Can we begin?" she said, her tone clipped.
Anakin frowned. His arms crossed over his chest but he nodded. "The floor is yours."
"I have confirmation of Shenn's location. But to catch him, we have to act immediately." With a flick of her wrist, the holomap shifted, zooming east, far from the previously projected Outer Rim.
"He's been hiding on Serias, in the Serianan system," she continued, her voice unnervingly clinical. "Apparently, he's come to an agreement with the Black Sun. The syndicate's been establishing a new trafficking point there, using the Veragi Route to move spice and weapons into the Inner Rim."
Anakin took a step forward, his gaze shifting from the map to Ahsoka. "Instrop Sector? That's a dangerous place, Ahsoka. How did you find him?"
"Does it matter?"
Her stern voice echoed in the silence that followed. Skywalker held her stare for a tense moment. "I understand you have a plan?"
"I've contacted the 41st Elite Corps," she said. "The Viper Squad's mobilising as we speak. They've been planning on striking the syndicate for months. We could use their advance to capture Shenn before he relocates again."
Anakin frowned. Fives knew what the man thought — the plan was solid, even more than that. It would be a loss not to take that shot. Ahsoka had everything prepared, merely waiting for authorization from the higher officer. She was resolved, her gaze sharp with focus; the intensity bordering on obsession.
"You've really thrown yourself into this, haven't you, Snips?" Skywalker asked, trying to lighten the mood. But Ahsoka didn't take the bait. Her eyes remained fixed on him, her expression hard.
"Do I have your permission to proceed?" she pressed.
Anakin hesitated, searching her face for any trace of the padawan he knew. But all he saw was determination—cold, unyielding determination. Finally, he nodded, though the concern in his eyes didn't fade. "All right. Is a squad enough for you?
"That's all I ask for."
Ahsoka didn't linger. She thanked them for their time, her gaze sweeping over their faces without truly meeting their eyes. She gathered her datapads and shut off the holomap with a swift motion. Without another word, she turned and left the room, the light from the holomap flickering out, casting the room into dim shadows as she left.
Rex and Anakin stared after her, as if the reality of what they had just witnessed hadn't fully sunk in. In a matter of days, Ahsoka had become a stranger, none of her old self able to seep through this steel shell she'd built around her. The confusion on their faces made it clear they were still trying to piece it together.
But Fives… Fives finally understood.
All the obsessive work, the endless hours, the relentless pursuit — it wasn't about silencing guilt, and it certainly had nothing to do with duty.
Ahsoka wasn't seeking justice — she was planning her revenge.