One Cruel Summer has currently surpassed fifty reviews. I… I don't know what to say other than thank you.
Dipper could only float in the white abyss. He couldn't move a muscle, or see anything.
That's when the light faded, and gravity returned. Everyone and everything fell to the ground.
"Ow," he groaned. "Is everyone okay?"
He looked around. Mabel, Soos, Wendy, and Stan were all lying on the ground, groaning and struggling to get up.
They all turned to the portal. It was in pieces, but it was still open.
A figure stepped out of the portal before it closed. He was wearing a mask and goggles, hiding his face. He walked over to Journal 1 and picked it up.
"Who is that?" Dipper asked, ready to activate his powers again.
"The author of the journals," Stan explained, a hint of melancholy in his voice. "My brother."
The figure removed his mask and goggles, revealing his face. He had short, messy, gray hair that bore a striking resemblance to Dipper's hair. He had a small, badly trimmed beard, glasses identical to Stan's, an eyepatch over his left eye, and six fingers on each hand.
"Finally," Stan smiled. "After all these years, you're actually here, brother!"
Stan stretched out his arms for a hug. The author didn't seem happy to see him though. Instead of a hug, he gave Stan a hard punch in the face.
"Ow!" Stan yelled. "What the hell was that for?"
"This was an insanely risky move, restarting the portal!" the author yelled. "Didn't you read my warnings?"
"Warnings, schmarnings! How's about maybe a thanks for saving you from what appears to be, I don't know, some kind of nightmare realm?"
"Thank you? You think I'd ever thank you after what you did thirty years ago?!"
"What I did? You little…"
Stan tackled the author, resulting in a fight between them.
"Don't think I'll go easy on you just because you're family!" Stan warned.
Dipper and the others could only watch in confusion as things started to escalate.
Mabel eventually cleared her throat, getting the men's attention. "Quick question, what is happening here?"
"Stan, you didn't tell me there were children here," said the author. "And some overweight, middle-aged man."
"Hey," Soos said, offended.
"They're your family, poindexter," Stan explained. "Shermie's grandkids."
"Wait, I have a niece and nephew?" the author asked, before shaking Mabel's hand. "Greetings. Do people still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time."
"Whoa, six-fingered handshake?" Mabel asked. "It's a whole finger friendlier."
The author chuckled. "I like this girl. She's weird."
Dipper couldn't keep his excitement contained any longer. He had to let it out.
"I can't believe it!" he cheered. "You're the author of the journals!"
"You've read my journals?" the author asked.
"I haven't just read them! I've lived them! I've been waiting for so long to meet you! I don't know what to say! I might need to throw up!"
Mabel and Wendy held Dipper's shoulders to make sure he was okay.
"Listen, there'll be time for introductions later," said the author. "But first, tell me, Stan, are there any security breaches? Does anyone else know about this portal?"
"No," Stan replied. "It's just you, me, and everyone else in this room… and maybe the entire US government."
"WHAT?!" the author yelled.
They noticed from a nearby security camera that agents were searching the entire shack for Stan.
"Okay, it's alright," the author said. "We've got a while before they find this room. We just need to lay low and figure out a plan."
"Since we're all gonna be here a while, how about we learn some mysterious tragic backstories?" Mabel asked.
"Yes, I have some questions about all this myself, Stanley," the author told Stan.
"What? Stanley?" Dipper reacted. "But what about that paper…?"
Dipper brought out the paper that said Stanley Pines died in a car crash. Stan tried to snatch it, but the author saw it.
"Wait, you faked your own death?" he asked. "What have you been doing all these years?"
"Yeah, Grunkle Stan," Dipper agreed. "No more lies. You owe us some answers. What's the deal with this portal? Why did you keep this a secret?
"What happened between you and your brother?" asked Mabel.
"I hope this aligns exactly with my fanfic," said Soos. "If not, I'll be extremely disappointed."
Wendy elbowed Soos.
"Okay, I know I have a lot of explaining to do," Stan relented. "It all started a lifetime ago, 1960… something, Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey."
Play Gravity Falls Intro Music
A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.
The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.
Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.
DIPPER
Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.
MABEL
Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.
STAN
Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.
WENDY
Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.
SOOS
Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.
Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.
End Intro
One Cruel Summer
Chapter 25
A Tale of Two Stans
Flashback
Stanley Pines lived with his ma and pa in the Lead Paint District in the family pawn shop.
His dad was a strict man, tough as a cinderblock and not easily impressed.
His mom was a pathological liar, which served her well as a phone psychic.
Then, there was his nerdy twin brother, Stanford, better known as Ford. As if his abnormally high IQ wasn't enough, he also had a rare birth defect, six fingers on each hand. That might've explained his obsession with the abnormal and weird.
As for Stanley, better known as Stan, he had what his mom would like to call 'personality'.
But as different as they were, Stanley and Stanford were the perfect team. Every day, they'd wander the beach, looking for adventure.
One day, they came across a mysterious, boarded-up cave.
"Wow," said Ford. "It might be filled with prehistoric life forms or Mesoamerican gold."
"Ladies first," Stan joked.
The two playfully punched each other.
Stanford tried to remove the boards. He just fell on his rear.
"Good thing you got the smarts, poindexter," Stan teased. "I got the other thing, the strengths."
He punched the boards, breaking them easily. He got a bunch of splinters on his hand, but he didn't mind them.
The boys entered the cave together. Ford used his flashlight to navigate.
"Whoa, it sure is dark in here," he remarked, a hint of nervousness in his voice.
"Don't worry, bro," Stan assured. "Where you go, I go. Don't forget to leave our names so people know who owns the place."
He took out a sharpie and wrote his name on the wall.
Ford then took the sharpie and wrote his own name on the wall.
"Pines! Pines! Pines!" the two cheered together.
As they walked deeper down the cave, they found an old, damaged boat.
"Whoa," said Stan. "A shipwrecked sailboat."
"Possibly haunted by pirate ghosts," Ford theorized.
"This is the best thing I've ever seen, and I once saw a dead rat floating in a bucket."
"What is wrong with you?"
Stan took a moment to examine the boat. "You know what this thing needs?"
"Flags."
Later, the Stan twins used their own shirts as flags as they carried their new boat to the water.
"Kings of New Jersey! Kings of New Jersey!" they both cheered.
Once they were close enough to the water, Ford painted the sign, 'Stan O' War' on the boat.
That's when he felt something hit him in the back of the head. He turned around to see the blond brat, Crampelter, and his equally evil friends.
"Well, well, if it ain't the loser twins," Crampelter teased. "Nice boat. Did you get it at the dump?"
"You would know, asshole!" Stan replied. "Get lost!"
"Listen, dorks, and listen well." Crampelter pointed at Ford. "You're just a six-fingered freak…" He then pointed at Stan. "And you're a sweatier, dumber version of him. You're lucky you have each other because no one would want to be friends with you."
Crampelter and his friends biked away.
Stan noticed Ford shedding a couple tears.
"Hey, don't let those bastards get to you," he said.
"But they're right," Ford replied. "I am a freak. I just wonder if there's anywhere in the world where weirdos like us can fit in."
"Hey, chin up." Stan gestured to the ocean and the beautiful sunset. "One of these days, you and me are gonna sail away from this dumb town. We'll hunt for treasure, get the girls, and be an unstoppable team of adventurers. High-six?"
Ford smiled and gave Stan a high-six.
Those were the good old days. Those bullies may have been right about the Stan twins, not making any friends, but when push came to shove, they only really needed one.
Ford's brain seemed to get more impressive every year, and so did their pet project.
Sure, Stan got in more than his fair share of trouble, but when your brother's the smartest kid in school, you've always got a leg up on the competition.
The future was looking bright for both of them… until one day, both of the twins were called to the principal's office.
The moment they were about to head in, the secretary told Stan to stay out and for Ford to go in alone.
When Ford went inside, he saw both of his parents were there waiting for him. He nervously sat with them.
"Now, Mr. Pines, I'd like to speak with you very frankly, if I may," said Principal Hawkins.
"Very frankly is the only way I speak," Mr. Pines replied.
"You have two sons. One is incredibly gifted, the other is standing outside this room."
"What are you saying?" asked Mrs. Pines.
"I'm saying Stanford is a genius!" Principal Hawkins replied. "All his teachers are going bananas over his science fair experiment! Have you ever heard of West Coast Tech? Best college in the country." Hawkins gave Ford a pamphlet. "Their graduates turn science fiction into science fact. The admissions team is visiting tomorrow to check out Stanford's experiment. He could become a millionaire, Mr. Pines."
Mr. Pines gave a rare smile. "I'm impressed."
"But what about Stanley?" asked Mrs. Pines.
"You mean that clown?" asked Hawkins, not knowing Stan was listening in on them. "At this rate, he'll be lucky to even graduate High School. Look, there's a saltwater taffy store on the dock, and someone needs to get paid to scrape the barnacles off of it. Stanford's going places, but hey, look on the bright side. At least you'll have one son here in New Jersey forever."
Later that day, the Stan twins were sitting on the swingset.
"Joke's on them if they think you want to go to some fancy schmancy school on the other side of the country," said Stan. "Once we get the Stan O' War complete, it's gonna be beaches, babes, and international treasure hunting for us."
"Look, Stan, I can't pass up a chance like this," said Ford. "This school has cutting-edge programs and multi-dimensional paradigm theory."
Stan started moving around like a robot. "Beep-boop. I am a nerd robot. That's what you sound like."
"Well, if the college board isn't impressed, then I'll do the treasure hunting thing."
"And if they are?"
Ford chuckled. "Well, then I guess you better come visit me on the other side of the country."
Ford playfully punched Stan's arm. He then got up and walked away.
Stan knew he couldn't make it out there on his own. Now, thanks to that dumb college, he was gonna lose Ford forever.
Stan snuck into the high school late at night, scarfing down a bag of peanuts. He went into the gym and found Ford's project. It was a perpetual motion machine.
"This is all your fault, you dumb machine!" Stan yelled as he threw his now empty bag to the ground.
He punched the table, causing a tiny piece to break off. The machine started to smoke. Stan instantly regretted what he did.
No, no, what did I do? he asked himself.
He quickly nailed the piece back onto the machine. He saw the machine was still spinning in its perpetual motion, so he simply covered the machine with a tarp and snuck out.
The next morning, Ford was preparing himself for the big moment. He made sure he looked okay. He felt he needed to use the bathroom, but he stayed put, knowing the admissions team would be there at any moment.
As if on cue, the team arrived.
"Alright, kid, show us what you got," said one.
"Alright," Ford smiled and sweated. "What would you say if I told you the future of technology was beneath this sheet?"
Ford removed the tarp, and closed his eyes in anticipation.
"I'd say we wasted a car trip," the person replied.
Ford opened his eyes and noticed an important piece of his machine was dangling off, and sparks were flying everywhere.
"But it was stable yesterday," Ford said. "A fuse must've blown."
Before he could fix anything, the admissions team left. Ford tried to get them to come back, but it was no use.
He then noticed he was stepping on an empty bag of peanuts. It didn't take him long to realize what this meant.
Stan was playing paddle ball and watching TV. That's when Ford stormed in with an angry look on his face.
"What's the word, sixer?" Stan asked.
"Can you tell me what this was doing next to my broken project?!" Ford shouted, showing Stan the empty peanut bag.
Stan realized he was caught. "Okay, I might've accidentally been… horsing around."
"This was no accident! You did this because you couldn't handle me going to college on my own!"
"Look, it was a mistake, but hey, look on the bright side! This means we can both go treasure hunting!"
Ford was completely dumbfounded. "Are you fucking serious right now?! Why would I wanna do anything with the person who sabotaged my future?!"
Ford shoved Stan onto the couch. Before he could get up, he felt his father grab him.
"You did what?!" he yelled.
"Wait, I can explain!" Stan assured. "It was a mistake!"
Before he could explain, though, Mr. Pines threw Stan out the door.
"You ignoramus!" he shouted. "Your brother was gonna be our ticket out of this dump! All you do is lie, cheat, and ride on your brother's coattails! Well, this time, you cost our family potential millions, and until you make us a fortune, you're not welcome in this household!"
Mr. Pines threw Stan his stuff, then slammed the door.
Stan looked up and saw Ford staring at him through the window.
"Come on, don't leave me hanging," he begged.
Ford just gave one last dirty look before shutting the curtains.
"Fine, I can make it on my own!" Stan shouted. "I'll make millions, and you'll rue the day you turned your back on me!"
Stan got in the car and drove away.
Thanks to one dumb mistake, he had no brother, no home, no anything, but he had a plan to fix everything. He decided he wasn't gonna show his face at home until he proved he could make something of himself.
Unfortunately, the treasure hunting business was slow-going. Apparently, gold was a rare metal in this day and age. Luckily, he struck another kind of gold, in sales.
Once he found the right people, he founded Stan Co. Enterprises. He created a product, and hired a small indie-studio to film him a commercial for his product.
"Hi there," he greeted the audience. "I'm Stan Pines of Stan Co. Enterprises. Are you sick of this always happening to you?"
The camera showed a room with trash all over the floor.
"Then you need the Stan-Vac," he went on, showing a vacuum cleaner.
He started using the vacuum, then he had his editor edit the video to make it look like it worked.
"Made with the same material astronauts use to clean cranberry stains on the moon," Stan finished. "Stan-Vac, it sucks more than anything."
It really did.
Customers weren't crazy about that. Fortunately for Stan, they were chasing Stan with Stan Co. brand pitchforks.
Stan was officially banned from New Jersey. Thankfully, New Jersey wasn't the end of the world.
He traveled all around the country, and even outside of it, always one step ahead of the law, looking for something that would be his big break.
Pause Flashback
"That explains the fake IDs," Mabel realized.
"But what about you?" Dipper asked Ford. "Did you still go to college?"
"Yes, but…" Ford replied.
Continue Flashback
Ford, as well as other newcomers, were at the orientation for Backupsmore University.
"Alright, I know Backupsmore wasn't anyone's first choice," said the headmaster. "But what we lack in prestige, we make up for in bug-free dorms. I'm sure your families are proud, more or less."
In a place like that, Ford had to work twice as hard. Luckily, that's what he was best at. He went from undergrad to PhD three years ahead of schedule, wrote a thesis that was nationally ranked, and was awarded an enormous grant for his own scientific research.
That left him with the question, what was he going to study?
His whole life, Ford had been teased for his six fingers, but that got him thinking about anomalies. Things that were odd, unusual, and statistically improbable.
According to his investigations, there was one place with a higher concentration of these things than anywhere else. A small lumber town in Roadkill County, Oregon: Gravity Falls.
Meanwhile, Stan was doing great. He came up with a sophisticated new business strategy, gambling.
He became very popular in Vegas. He got very good at a certain game called Buckshot Roulette, a game where the players take turns with a rifle and try to shoot each other.
Stan won by ordering the live and blank rounds so he'd have an advantage against everyone else.
He made the millions his dad demanded of him. He prepared to head back to New Jersey.
But one person stopped him.
It was a slender woman with bright white skin and yellow eyes. She had long, orange hair, and wore a red dress with a yellow gem. She also wore a headband that covered her ears.
The moment he laid eyes on her, Stan blushed brightly.
"Hubba hubba," he said. "Who must you be?"
"I'm… Marilyn," the woman replied. "Marilyn Hawthorne, and you are?"
"Uh, Steve. Steve Pinington. What do you want with me?"
"Oh, nothing. I just wanted to know…"
Marilyn opened her shirt to reveal… certain areas.
Before Stan knew it, he was making out with Marilyn in the back of his car. They slowly took off certain clothes, one by one, until they were completely…
Pause Flashback
"No one wants to hear about your sex life!" Wendy yelled.
"Okay, okay, jeez," Stan replied.
Continue Flashback
Before Stan knew it, he and Marilyn got married. No one showed up to their wedding, but they missed out on an awesome after-party.
Stan got so drunk at that party that he had a vivid dream that he and Marilyn were flying on an owl staff. He swore it felt more real than any other dream he's had in his life. It was terrifying.
Sadly, the moment Stan woke up from that dream, Marilyn and his money were gone
Stan was back to traveling on his own.
Ford was out on his own as well. He went straight to work, using his grant money to investigate the strange properties of this town.
He knew he'd have to record his findings, thus, he began to keep a journal.
Pause Flashback
Dipper squealed in excitement. Everyone looked at him, concerned.
"Sorry, sorry," he cleared his throat. "Got excited there. Keep going."
"I began to keep a journal," Ford went on.
Dipper barely kept himself from squealing a second time.
Continue Flashback
There were anomalies everywhere. The more Ford looked, the more he saw.
Floating eyes.
A shapeshifter.
A platypus made of plaid.
A lepri-corn.
A floating cliff.
Gnomes.
It was finally a place where Ford felt at home, but something nagged at him. Where did it all come from? It seemed to him the answer must lie outside of the human world, a dimension of weirdness leaking into theirs.
He figured the only way to understand Gravity Falls would be to build a gateway, a portal, the source of its weirdness, but he couldn't make it alone.
He decided to call up his old college buddy, Fiddleford McGucket, a young but brilliant mechanic who was wasting his talent trying to make personal computers in some garage in Palo Alto.
Many long nights were spent perfecting the machine. It would be the crowning achievement to his studies, an answer to the source of this town's anomalies, and eventually, the time came to test it.
The two had a mannequin prepared for this moment. They placed it over the line and let the current suck it in.
Unfortunately, Fiddleford accidentally tied his arm against a rope, resulting in him getting sucked up as well. Ford managed to grab the rope and pull Fiddleford back down, but by then, he already got his head in the portal.
In those few seconds, Fiddleford saw something. It clearly traumatized him, but he never said what it was.
All he said was, "When Gravity Falls and Earth become sky, fear the beast with just one eye."
"Fiddleford, get a hold of yourself," Ford said, reaching out his arm. "You're not making any sense."
Fiddleford slapped Ford's hand. "This machine is dangerous. You'll bring about the end of the world with this. Destroy it before it destroys us all."
"I can't destroy it. It's my life's work."
"I fear we've unleashed a grave danger on the world, one I'd just as soon forget. I quit."
Fiddleford left the lab. Ford just stood there, furious that another person he considered a friend betrayed him.
"Fine, leave!" he screamed. "I don't need you! I don't need anyone!"
That's when Ford started to hear voices. He feared he was losing his sanity. He knew there was only one other person he could trust.
Meanwhile, Stan wasn't doing very good. He found himself living in a motel in New Mexico, caught in some crippling debt with some gangster named Rico, and he was on the verge of just… getting it over with.
That's when he heard a knock on the door.
"Rico, I promise I'll pay your goons!" he shouted, preparing himself with a bat. "Just give me a few more days!"
A card flew in through the mail slot. He looked at it. It said, 'Gravity Falls'. When he turned the card around, it read…
PLEASE COME!
FORD
It took a couple days, but Stan made it to the address on the card.
You haven't seen your brother in ten years, he told himself. It's okay. He's family. He won't bite.
Stan knocked on the door. When Ford opened the door, he seemed… unstable.
He had an eyepatch covering his left eye, his hair was messy, his beard looked like he did a horrible job at trimming it, and he had a crossbow at the ready.
"Who is it?" he asked, before pointing the crossbow at Stan. "Have you come to steal my other eye?!"
"Well, I can always count on you for a warm welcome," Stan sarcastically remarked.
Ford took a breath, calming himself, then he put down his crossbow.
"Stanley, did anyone follow you?" he asked.
"Hello to you too, pal," Stan snarkily replied.
Ford grabbed Stan and pulled him inside.
Ford led Stan into the living room.
"Whoa, what's going on?" Stan asked, fighting to free himself. "You're acting like Mom after her tenth cup of coffee."
"Listen, there isn't much time," Ford replied. "I've made huge mistakes, and I don't know who I can trust anymore."
"Hey, easy there. Let's talk this through."
"I have something to show you, something you won't believe."
"Look, I've been around the world, okay? Whatever it is, I'll understand."
Ford led Stan into the portal room.
"There is nothing about this I understand," Stan said.
"It's a trans-universal gateway," Ford explained. "A punched hole through a weak spot in our dimension. I created it to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but it can just as easily be harnessed for terrible destruction. That's why I shut it down and hid my journals which explain how to operate it. There's only one journal left, and I trust you to take it. I have something to ask of you. Remember our plans to sail around the world on a boat? Well, take this journal, get on a boat, and sail as far away as you can. Take it to the edge of the earth if you have to! Bury it where no one can find it!"
Stan was beyond furious at that moment. "That's it?! You finally want to see me after all these years, and it's to tell me to get as far away from you as possible?!"
"Stanley, you don't understand what I've been through!"
"No, you don't understand what I've been through! I've been to prison in three different countries, and had to chew my way out of the trunk of a car! You think you have problems?! I have a god damn mullet, Stanford! Meanwhile, where have you been? Living in a fancy house in the woods, and selfishly hoarding all your college money because you only care about yourself!"
"I'm selfish? How can you say that after ruining my chance to go to my dream school?! I'm giving you a chance to do the first worthwhile thing in your life, and you won't even listen!"
"You want me to listen? You want me to get rid of this book? Fine, I'll get rid of it right now!"
Stan activated a lighter and prepared to burn the journal to ash.
Ford wanted the journal gone, but he didn't want his life's work to go to waste either. He shoved Stan before he could burn it. This led to them fighting over the journal.
The fight carried into the control room. They hit the controls, activating the portal.
"You left me behind, you jerk!" Stan yelled. "It was supposed to be us forever! You ruined my life!"
"You ruined your own life, and mine!" Ford argued.
Ford kicked Stan against a hot part of the machine, burning his back. The moment he realized what he did, he felt awful.
Stan was even angrier now. He shoved Ford back into the portal room.
"Some brother you turned out to be!" he screamed. "You care more about your dumb mysteries, so fine! You can have them!"
Stan threw the journal back to Ford, causing him to fall over the line. The portal started sucking him in.
"Stanley help, please!" Ford yelled as he threw the journal.
With that, Ford was completely sucked in, never to be seen again.
In a flash of light, the portal deactivated, leaving Stan with nothing but the journal.
He tried reactivating the portal, but nothing happened. He had lost Ford. He didn't know if Ford was dead or alive in some distant galaxy, but Stan knew the journals must have the answer to getting him back.
He didn't get much sleep that night, or the night after that. He tried for weeks to turn that dumb machine back on, but without the other two journals, it was hopeless.
After a few days, Stan ran out of food. He had no choice but to go into town.
He went to the local mini-mart, Dusk 2 Dawn. It was crowded, so Stan assumed he wouldn't draw attention to himself.
He tried to buy some bread, but he didn't even have a dollar.
"Hey, that's the mysterious science guy that lives in the woods," said Lazy Susan.
"No, you got the wrong guy," Stan said, covering his face with his hood.
"I've heard mysterious rumors about that shack," said Toby Determined.
"Yeah, mysterious lights and spooky experiments," added Blubs, who was only a trainee at the time.
"Gosh, I'd pay anything to see what kind of shenanigans you get into up and there," said Pa, the one running the store.
"Me too," said Ma. "Do you ever give tours?"
Stan wanted to lie, but then he realized he needed the money, and he had an opportunity right there waiting for him.
"Yes, I do give tours," he said, removing his hood. "Fifteen bucks a person."
Everyone offered him their fifteen bucks.
"So, what did you say your name was, you man of mystery?" asked Lazy Susan.
"Stan…ford," Stan replied. "Stanford Pines."
And so, Stan came up with a plan. He couldn't leave Ford's house until he figured out how to save him, but he needed to pay his mortgage somehow.
Thus, Stan created his biggest scheme yet. Using whatever stuff he could find, he made up different attractions and merchandise.
For once, people were actually buying what Stan was selling. So, the Murder Hut was born, later renamed the Mystery Shack.
Finally, he found something he was good at. For once, being a liar and a cheat paid off.
The old Stan was dead, and he faked his death to prove it. By day, he was Stanford Pines, Mr. Mystery, and by night, he was down in the basement, trying to bring the real Stanford back.
End of Flashback
"I couldn't have anyone know the truth and sabotage my mission," Stan finished. "So I lied to everyone. The town, my family, your parents, even you kids."
"So all this time, you were just trying to save your brother?" Dipper asked, feeling guilty knowing he almost ruined Ford's one chance to get home. "Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you."
"It's alright, kid. I probably wouldn't have believed me either."
"I heard voices coming from down there," said a voice from above.
"Oh no, they've found us!" Stan yelled.
"Oh, I was so caught up in your story I forgot all about those dudes," said Soos.
An idea popped into Dipper's mind. "Wait, that's it! I think I know a way we might be able to defeat those agents!"
Dipper took a memory gun out of his backpack.
"Of course," said Ford. "I don't know how you got a hold of one of these, but it's perfect. If I just amplify the signal to a radio headset frequency…" Ford quickly connected the memory gun to the radio, that being the totem pole outside the shack. "There. Now everyone, cover your ears!"
Everyone got down and covered their ears.
Trigger met up with Powers outside the shack.
"Sir, looks like there's a hidden door behind the vending machine," he said.
"Excellent," Powers smiled. "Get me Washington on the line at once. I've been practicing making excited noises for this very occasion."
Right as he said that, a high-pitch noise came from the totem pole. Everyone got down and covered their ears.
After a moment, the noise faded.
"Where am I?" Powers asked. "Why am I standing in some sort of goofy knick-knack house?"
That's when Ford came out.
"Stand down, gentlemen," he ordered.
He read through the false report Mabel gave him, which was literally just a few drawings that didn't mean anything. He decided he needed to improvise.
"I've been sent with the latest intel from Washington," he said. "According to this, the power surges in Gravity Falls were actually due to radiation from an unreported meteor shower. A total embarrassment for your whole department. Luckily, I can take this all off your hands, but I'll need all of your… floppy disks and… 8-tracks."
"Everything about the case is on this drive," Powers said as he gave Ford the drive.
Ford snatched the drive. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get out of here before I have your butts court-martialed!"
The agents saluted, then left.
That's when Dipper and Mabel came out.
"Grunkle Stanford, that was amazing!" said Mabel.
"Let's not go crazy," said Stan. "It was serviceable."
Ford chuckled. "Thank you kids, but please, call me Ford."
"Sure, thanks Grunkle Ford," Dipper said, before taking out a pen and paper. "Would you mind if I ask you a couple questions about Gravity Falls?"
Ford looked away and smiled in embarrassment. For the longest time, he wished to be recognized by someone for his discoveries, but now he got what he wanted, and he didn't know how to act here.
"Alright, kids," said Stan. "It's been a long day and me and my brother have a lot to talk about, so why don't you guys hit the hay?"
"But… but…" Dipper wanted to argue, but he knew that Stan had a point.
He and Mabel headed inside. Soos and Wendy just stood there in embarrassment.
"We'll just… see ourselves out," Soos said as he and Wendy left.
Later that night, Stan and Ford looked at themselves in the mirror.
"Look at us," said Stan. "When did we become old men?"
"Speak for yourself," Ford joked. "You look like Dad."
Stan laughed and playfully punched Ford.
Ford sighed. "Okay, Stanley, here's the deal. You can stay for the summer to watch the kids, while I stay down in the basement and try to contain the damage, but when the summer's over, you give me back my house and name, and this Mystery Shack junk is over forever. Got it?"
Stan glared at Ford. "You're really not gonna thank me, are you?"
Ford kept his own glare. That told Stan what he needed to know.
"Fine," Stan relented. "But only on one condition! You stay away from the kids, because as far as I'm concerned, they're the only family I have left!"
Mabel heard the argument from her and Dipper's room. It almost reminded her of the argument she and Dipper overheard between their parents, right before the start of the summer.
"Did you hear what they said?" she asked Dipper.
"I don't know if this is good or bad," Dipper admitted. "I wanted to meet the author of the journals, but…"
"Yeah, I liked the way things were before. Just us, Stan, Soos, Wendy, the occasional monster…"
"I'm sure they'll work things out."
That wasn't enough to assure Mabel.
"Dipper, do you think we'll turn out like Stan and Ford?" she asked, tearing up a little. "Or our parents?"
Dipper felt a sting at the mention of their parents. He tried to fight his own tears.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
Mabel laid on her pillow. "I mean, they all used to be so close, but then they grew apart as time passed, and now they're all stupid. Can you promise me you won't get stupid?"
Dipper chuckled. "Not as stupid as you. Good night."
Dipper turned off the light and went to sleep.
However, Mabel laid awake, remembering the argument between Stan and Ford, and the argument between her parents. She tried covering herself in the sheets, and snuggling Waddles, but the thoughts couldn't escape her mind.
A.N.
This is it. Only five more chapters before the Weirdmageddon Trilogy. Buckle up, because things are gonna get serious.
First off, Ford is wearing an eyepatch. Yes, he is missing an eye in this universe. If you've read or at least heard about Journal 3 and The Book of Bill, you should be able to figure out how that happened.
I did change the flashback a little bit. It's a commonly believed theory that Stan's ex-wife, Marilyn, is actually Edalyn Clawthorne from The Owl House. I wanted to show a bit of that here.
One change I was planning to make was to have Stan end up in Gravity Falls and reunite with Ford sooner, and they both do some adventuring together. It was a little something inspired by the multiple AU fanart I've seen on both DeviantArt and Instagram showing McGucket and the Stan twins going on adventures together. I scrapped that idea because I realized it just wouldn't work.
The most notable change was the ending. One issue I've seen some people share was that the argument the Stan twins had at the end of the episode wasn't brought up again, even though it would've made a lot of sense. Here, I decided to change it so that Mabel hears the argument, which reminds her of the argument between her parents, which in turn, makes her very insecure about her future, and it will play into her actions in the Dipper and Mabel vs. The Future chapter.
That's all I have to say. Thanks for reading.