Sorry that I haven't updated in two weeks. I've been busy lately.
While I was working on my Wish rewrite, I realized that my document manager had run out of space. While looking through which documents to delete, I started thinking back to my Amphibia OC fic, which was my first major project that I ever posted online (I posted others before it, but they were either small fics, or I deleted them for one reason or another).
Looking back, there were choices I made regarding the Amphibia fic that I'm… not proud of. Because of that, I spent the past few days going back and editing the story so its quality is at least on par with this one.
Check it out if you haven't already, or don't. I don't care.
He does, though.
Shut up, Bill.
Another thing I feel the need to bring up is my situation regarding the bots that have PM'd me asking if I'll commission them to make artwork for my fics. I've already said it a couple of times, but I do not want to commission anybody.
Also, it's clear these people are just scammers that are trying to trick me into giving them my personal info or money or something. They don't say what they liked about my stories, even if they specify which story they're talking about, and they don't give said story a favorite. At most, they just follow my profile. These people are literally the reason why my account currently has 62 followers.
Well, I've decided I finally had enough putting up with it. I've turned off my PMs so I don't get those messages again. As a result, I can only reply to comments here on FFN through the Author's Notes, so that's what I'm gonna do now.
SuperSonicBros123: You said you only know of the Stan and Wendy teamup plot because you read another fic with the same idea. You mind telling me who wrote it? I'm curious and considering reading that fic.
Guest: Dipper's powers wasn't intended to make up for not having the flashlight. It's really just an idea I came up with, and I decided to go along with it.
Anyway, with this out of the way, on with the chapter.
Dipper, Mabel, Evan, Wendy, and her friends were laying in the cemetery, gazing at the clouds.
"Whoa, that cloud looks like a chipmunk," Mabel pointed.
An airplane flew out of where the mouth would be.
"Barfing an airplane," Wendy added.
Everyone laughed at Wendy's joke.
"That cloud looks like… uh, a cloud," Thompson said, pointing at one that looked like a waffle.
"Thompson, stop being the worst at everything," Lee teased.
"Sorry, guys."
Lee and Nate laughed, but Wendy felt bad for Thompson.
"Ooh, that cloud looks like a heart-shaped balloon," Mabel said, pointing at a colorful cloud.
"Wait a minute, clouds aren't colorful," Dipper realized. "That is a heart-shaped balloon."
"Oh, it's the Woodstick Festival," Wendy realized. "It's this annual outdoor concert featuring Oregon's up-and-coming indie-bands."
Wendy swiped Tambry's phone.
"Hey," Tambry said, offended.
Wendy ignored that, though. She showed Dipper and Mabel pictures of these bands.
"They're all coming," she went on. "Scarves Indoors, Wood Grain on Everything, Love God. You've probably seen him in that viral video."
The video showed this 'Love God', performing on stage. He was a blond thirty-year-old man wearing sandals, teal shorts, and a green-striped shirt with a long V-neck. Around his neck were the symbols for male, female, and genderqueer. On his back were a pair of wings.
"Who's ready to fall in love?" he asked before falling off the stage and onto the camera. "I hope nobody's filming this."
"Wow, like a real concert?" Dipper asked. "I've never been to one of those before."
"That's because you never had an awesome crew to roll with before," Wendy retorted.
Next to them, Thompson was holding a dirty sponge. Lee and Nate were daring him to lick it. He actually did it.
"When you're with us, you're in," Wendy finished.
Dipper smiled and blushed.
That's when everyone heard weird noises.
"Ghostly sounds!" Mabel panicked.
Everyone followed the sound. It was coming from a nearby hole in the ground.
"Thompson, go look," Nate dared.
"Gaze upon death! Gaze upon death!" Lee cheered.
Thompson slowly walked closer and closer to the hole. What he saw made him scream.
Play Gravity Falls Intro Music
A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.
The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.
Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.
DIPPER
Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.
MABEL
Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.
STAN
Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.
WENDY
Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.
SOOS
Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.
Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.
End Intro
One Cruel Summer
Chapter 22
The Love God
Everyone else walked towards the hole. They looked down expecting something horrifying.
It was beyond their greatest fears combined.
Robbie was lying in the grave, groaning and playing his guitar.
"Why did she leave me?" he sang.
"Robbie?" Wendy asked.
Robbie turned around and saw Wendy.
"Wendy!" he shouted, pretending to act normal. "Hey, what's up? Just hanging out in this grave. Regular day for me."
"Whoa, dude," said Nate. "We haven't seen you in, like, a million years. Where have you been?"
"You're not still mourning our breakup, are you?" asked Wendy. "Robbie, we split up forever ago. It's sweet you'd jump into a grave for me, but seriously. It's time to move on."
"I moved on," Robbie assured.
That's when Robbie's phone rang. The ringtone was Robbie's voice singing about how much they missed Wendy. Robbie quickly took out his phone and threw it aside, breaking it.
"That was a different Wendy," he lied.
"This is getting awkward," Nate whispered to Lee.
"The cemetery used to be fun," Dipper added. "Now it's just depressing."
Right as he said that, the wind blew his hat off of his head. He ran after it.
Dipper managed to recover his hat. Unfortunately, he didn't recover what he was keeping in the hat.
Before Dipper could get it, Mabel did. She looked at it closely.
It was a picture of Wendy.
Mabel groaned. "Bro, I thought you were past all this."
"I know," Dipper replied. "I know she's not interested and I know it's over, but how do you just turn off the way you feel about someone?"
"Two words, Dipper. Move on."
Dipper sighed. "It's not as simple as you make it out to be, Mabel."
Dipper, Wendy, and the gang walked off.
Mabel saw Robbie continuing to sulk and sigh. A vulture landed next to him.
"Just eat me already," Robbie sighed. The vulture did as it was told. "Ow! Ow! I was being dramatic!"
Mabel took out her happiness chart. She had faces of everyone in the group, including Robbie. Most of the faces had happy stickers next to them, but Mabel added a sad sticker next to Robbie's face.
Later, Wendy and the twins were hanging in the gift shop.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," Wendy apologized.
"You know what Robbie needs?" Mabel asked. "A new girl. Romance is like gum. Once it's lost its flavor, you just cram another one in."
Mabel proved her point by spitting out her gum and putting a new wad in its place.
"Again, it's not that simple, Mabel," Dipper warned.
"It is if you're the world's best matchmaker," Mabel replied. "I've never had an unhappy customer. Take Soos and Melody for example."
Nearby, Soos was on a zoom call with Melody. He went behind some cardboard boxes to make it look like he was going down a set of stairs. Melody laughed at the joke.
"That might work for Soos, but Robbie's a hopeless case," Wendy retorted.
Mabel accepted the challenge.
Meanwhile, Stan was stitching a rainbow wig onto a gorilla statue, as one does, when he saw a shadow leeming over him.
He looked up and saw hot-air balloons floating in the sky.
Then, teens passed by riding fixed-gear bikes.
After that, a car passed by. On the roof, a man was strapped to a mattress while playing a guitar.
"Singing by the open road," he sang. "My sandals are so open-toed."
"Oh no!" Stan shouted. "It's the Woodstick Festival! Soos, lock down the shack and hide my shirts before anyone tye-dyes them!"
Stan took out a crossbow and aimed for one of the balloons.
"Mister Pines, what are you doing?!" Soos shouted as he smacked the crossbow out of Stan's hands. "Every year this festival happens and you always shun potential customers! I mean, for someone who's all about making money, you're sure wasting an opportunity to do just that!"
"You really think I can make money off of these freakshows?" Stan asked.
"You just gotta figure out what appeals to them."
Stan pinched his cheek. "How do I appeal to young people?"
That's when he noticed the balloons in the sky. This gave him an idea.
Mabel followed the map of Gravity Falls to Robbie's house. It was right next to the cemetery.
The sign read, 'Valentino Funeral Home: If you were dead, you'd be home by now!'
"Robbie's just a broken teacup that needs to be put back together again," she said to herself.
Mabel rang the doorbell. It played an oregon.
"Okay, this is intense," Mabel realized.
The door opened to reveal a surprisingly cheery couple.
"Howdy," said the man.
"Happy day," the woman added.
"You're Robbie's parents?" Mabel asked, unable to believe it. "I always thought he was raised by sad wolves or something."
"Oh, he doesn't like to talk about us," said Mr. Valentino. "He always says we're too cheerful for funeral directors."
Robbie's parents laughed and let Mabel inside.
Mr. Valentino offered Mabel some crackers.
"No thank you," she declined. "I'm here to cheer Robbie up. Can't have a dry mouth for that."
"Robbie, there's a girl here to see you!" Mrs. Valentino called before turning to Mabel. "Go on up, and could you bring his lunch?"
The lunch was a plate of smiling spaghetti with two meatballs for eyes and some sauce as a mouth.
"I like your style," Mabel complimented before walking upstairs.
"You know who would look good in a sweater like that?" Mrs. Valentino asked. "Mrs. Grabelson's remains."
"Absolutely," Mr. Valentino agreed.
As Mabel walked down the hall, she saw pictures of Robbie over the years. They showed how Robbie started out just as happy-go-lucky as his parents, but slowly deteriorated into the angsty teen he was now.
Mabel then found the door to Robbie's room. She could tell because of all the posters with Robbie's face on it that read, 'Robbie V and the Tombstones! YOU'RE DEAD!'
"Robbie, it's me, Mabel!" she sang as she knocked on the door.
"Who?" Robbie asked.
"Remember me? I'm like, Girl Dipper."
"Ugh, go away."
Mabel didn't listen, though. She opened the door and turned on the light.
"Hey!" Robbie whined. "Listen kid, nobody in the Pines family is welcome here! In case you forgot, your brother ruined my life!"
"And I'm gonna fix it," Mabel assured. "Robbie, I always saw you as a creepy jerk, like the human version of rat poison."
Robbie didn't know how to feel about that. "Go on?"
"But when I saw you in the cemetery today, I realized you're not a bad guy. You're just a heartbroken soul who needs love. Robbie, you just need a good matchmaker. I guarantee you true love or twice your sadness back."
Robbie was getting irritated. "If I say yes, will you leave my room?"
"I guarantee it."
Mabel formed a diorama of Gravity Falls and all of its citizens.
"Okay, who wants to go out with Robbie?" she wondered. "Lazy Susan's too old. Grenda's too aggressive. Multi-bear? I'm putting you in the maybe pile."
That's when Waddles oinked.
"Huh?" Mabel asked. "You think I should pair Robbie with someone we know? Well, who would be superficial and gothy enough for…"
Waddles oinked again.
"Of course, that's it," Mabel realized.
At Thompson's, he, Dipper, Wendy, Tambry, Lee, Nate, and Evan were getting ready for the concert. Lee and Nate were taping bags of snacks onto Thompson.
"More snacks! More snacks!" they chanted.
"At least I'm included," Thompson tried to assure himself.
"This is the perfect way to sneak cheap snacks into the concert," said Nate. "And it was all Dipper's idea. Woo!"
Lee knelt down to Dipper's eye level.
"Kid, I sense greatness in you," he said as he lifted Dipper onto his shoulders.
"Alright, everyone head home and finish getting ready," Wendy ordered.
The group were about to leave. Nate stopped and turned to Tambry.
"Don't wait up, Tambers," he said.
"Don't call me 'Tambers'," Tambry scolded.
"Classic Tambers."
Tambry groaned.
Before she could say anything, though, she got a text on her phone. It read, 'Tambry, you, me, date. Bring that sweet, sweet bod. Your secret admirer.'
Tambry headed to Greasy's Diner. She saw Robbie sitting at one of the booths. She was beyond frustrated.
"Robbie, you're my secret admirer?" she asked.
"Tambry?" Robbie sighed. "This is what I get for trusting a toddler. Listen, I don't think this is gonna work out. Dating someone I already know? That's bound to fail."
"You say that as if I'm interested."
"Tambry, let's be real. If I wanted to date you, I would've gotten it over with already." Robbie noticed a yellow stain on his jacket. "Is that mustard? I don't wanna waste that."
Robbie started licking the mustard.
Tambry typed on her phone, "Status update: on blind date with sociopath."
Robbie groaned. "Oh, sure. Bring out the phone. Classic Tambers. Hey, can I get some chilli fries to go?"
Mabel couldn't believe she just heard that.
That's when a bunch of other patrons ran towards the door excitedly. The door burst open to reveal a certain man. Mabel was quick to recognize him as the Love God from the video Wendy showed her.
"Who's ready to fall in love tonight?" he asked.
Everyone cheered.
The Love God hit the jukebox.
"We're rewriting history tonight, folks," he announced. "And it starts with you two!"
The Love God flicked his finger, firing dust at a nearby man and woman. They started making out.
"Love is real and it's in your face!" the Love God went on as he approached an elderly woman. "What's your name, you little angel?"
"Meredith," the woman replied.
"Meredith, we have a problem." The Love God pointed at another woman around Meredith's age. "That cutie right there is your soulmate, and you're living without her."
"Oh no. What do I do?"
"You know. Get it, girl." The Love God released dust into the air. "POW! Match made!"
Meredith ran towards the other woman and lifted her up.
Mabel saw it all.
"I must learn his ways," she said.
Mabel approached the Love God, who was now chowing on a sandwich.
"Hi, Love God," she greeted. "I'm Mabel, big fan. That was some of the best matchmaking I've ever seen. Can you please tell me your secret?"
"Well, to put it lightly," the Love God replied, licking his fingers. "My name's not exactly a coincidence."
The Love God flapped his wings.
"Oh my," Mabel reacted. "Are you actually a love god?"
"The internet has basically taken my place," the Love God replied. "So I've taken some time to focus on my music career. Boom, cassette, for you."
The Love God handed Mabel a cassette tape.
"Oh, that's… great," Mabel said as she threw away the tape. "Anyway, can you make anything fall in love? What about that snake and badger?"
Mabel pointed out the window, where a snake and badger were fighting.
"I don't know, that would be kinda hard to…" the Love God replied before firing his dust at the animals. "Boom! Match made!"
The snake and badger stopped fighting and started cuddling each other instead.
"How are you doing that?" Mabel asked.
"Love potions, yo," the Love God replied. "I got it all. Summer love, young love, anti-love, just put it on your finger and the rest is history."
"I need that. How much does it cost?"
"Whoa, no way. You might think you know what's best for people, but this stuff can have major social consequences. That's why it can only be used by a serious expert."
That's when a Love God fangirl showed up.
"Love God, sign my face?" she requested.
"Only if you sign mine," the Love God replied. "Let's get weird."
While the Love God was distracted making out with the woman, Mabel quickly stole one of the love potion containers.
Mabel entered the kitchen. There, one of the chefs was adding chilli to the chilli fries.
"May I add something to these fries?" Mabel asked.
"Aren't you a little young to be working in the kitchen?" the chef asked, suspicious.
"Yes, yes I am."
The chef smiled. "Well, it's nice to see the younger generation taking an interest in cooking."
The chef stepped back. Mabel added the love potion to the fries.
The chef handed the fries to Robbie and Tambry. Robbie was suspicious of the purple coating, but he took a bite. His pupils expanded as he started to smile at Tambry.
"Hey, did your thing suddenly become more likable?" he asked.
Tambry tried one of the fries herself.
"You don't seem as needy as I used to think you were," she admitted.
"Hey, you wouldn't want to get out of here and start, you know, kissing in public or something?" asked Robbie.
"For some reason, I do." Tambry was about to type another status update on her phone, but then she put it down. "You know what? Maybe I should stare at something other than my phone for a while."
Robbie and Tambry took hands and walked out.
"Match made!" Mabel cheered.
Everyone regrouped in Thompson's garage.
"Okay, who's ready for the most overpriced day of the summer?" Wendy asked.
Everyone cheered.
"We just need to wait on Tambry," said Nate. "We can't leave without Tambry."
That's when Mabel came in.
"Tambry's a little busy," she said, winking.
Evan did not like the sound of that.
"What does that mean?" he asked. "Why are you winking?"
"Let's just say she and Robbie took a trip to Smoochville," Mabel replied. "Now everyone's happy!"
Mabel showed her happiness chart. Everyone had smiley stickers next to them.
"Wait, Tambry and Robbie?" Nate asked. "But he knew I liked her! How could he do this?!"
"Wait, you like Tambry?" asked Lee. "And you told Robbie and not me?"
"You always make fun of my crushes!"
"That's what we do!"
"Oh, this is so like Robbie!" Wendy shouted. "Spending weeks bitching over a breakup, then moving onto the next girl once he's done!"
"You know what?" said Nate. "I'm not going to the concert! Not with you!"
He pointed at Lee as he said that.
"Well, I'm not going with you either!" Lee replied.
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
Lee and Nate stormed out of the garage.
"Guys, wait!" Thompson cried. "Don't make me go back to having no friends!"
Everyone ignored him. They walked out of the garage without saying a word to each other. Nate even punched the mailbox, though it hurt his fist.
Thompson ran inside the house, crying.
Evan angrily turned towards Mabel.
"What did you do?" he asked.
"I may have used a love potion to pair Robbie and Tambry together," Mabel replied.
Evan remembered when Mabel yelled at him for using his dad's CD to brainwash her.
"So, let me get this straight," he said. "You went on about why I shouldn't have used the CD on you, but then you use a love potion on two people you hardly know?! You know what that makes you, Mabel! You're a hypocrite!"
"Hey, at least I was just trying to help Robbie find happiness!" Mabel argued.
"Oh, did you, or were you just coping with your own failure to find happiness, by projecting it onto him?"
Mabel flinched at that statement.
"He's got a point, you know," Dipper added. "I told you to stay out of Robbie's personal life, but no! You just had to live out your own romance fantasies, without considering how it would affect other people!"
"You're right," Mabel sighed. "I never should've gotten that love potion from the Love God."
"Wait, love potion? If you did a spell can't you undo it?"
Mabel jumped at that. "You're a genius! If I undo the spell, everything will go back to the way it was! I'm gonna need your help, though."
Meanwhile, Soos was stitching a balloon for the Mystery Shack.
"Hurry it up, Soos!" Stan demanded. "I want this done before the festival is over!"
"Mr. Pines, are you sure you want that fire close to that rope and cloth?" Soos asked.
"I'm sure about everything! Now lube up those engine gears with some kerosene!"
Evan and the twins reached the concert. They watched as Robbie and Tambry walked in, doing that couple hug-walk.
Dipper was disgusted by what he was seeing.
"Guys, you're in public!" he shouted. "People can see you!"
"Shh, come on!" Mabel whisper-yelled as she carried Dipper backstage.
The trio reached the Love God's car. They could tell because it had a picture of him flying on an eagle's back.
"Sound check for Love God!" the stage manager called.
The Love God got out of the truck.
"Let's make some miracles happen!" he shouted. "Love God's about to get crazy!"
The Love God accidentally hit his head on the side of the car. He collapsed.
"Now's our chance," Mabel whispered.
The trio ran to the back of the van. They looked through the list of potions until they found the one labeled 'anti-love'.
"Hey!" shouted a voice.
The three turned around to see it was the Love God.
"So you're the one stealing my stuff?" he asked. "I'm not loving this!"
"I'm sorry," Mabel apologized. "But I made a mistake and I have to fix it."
"Kid, I tried to tell you, this stuff is way too dangerous! On my oath as a god, I cannot let you…"
"Hey, wait a minute," Dipper realized. "What gives you the right to use these potions on people, but not us?"
"I, uh…"
Knowing the Love God couldn't answer, the three made a run for it.
Mabel tossed the potion to Dipper.
The trio ran on stage and jumped into the crowd.
The crowd waved their arms and carried the children down the aisle.
"Thank you," Mabel thanked.
"So this is how it feels," Evan remarked, feeling indifferent. "It's overrated."
"No, no, everyone's touching everything!" Dipper shouted.
The Love God swam over the crowd.
"Give me back that potion!" he demanded.
He then started handing random members in the crowd cassettes and high-fives.
Once the trio was out of the crowd, they continued running.
The Love God got tired of running. He started flapping his wings.
"Man, it's been so long since I had to use these," he remarked.
In the end, though, he managed to take flight.
Mabel looked behind her and saw the Love God advancing.
"Ah, he flies now!" she screamed.
"He flies now?" Evan asked, refusing to look back.
Dipper turned around and saw the Love God flying towards them.
"He flies now," he confirmed.
Dipper saw they were almost at Robbie and Tambry. They were sitting under a tree together, taking a selfie.
Dipper grabbed a nearby spray bottle, removed the cap, and put it on the anti-love potion bottle.
"Just one clean shot to the back of their heads, and everything's fixed," he said.
"I'm sorry kids, but you left me no choice!" the Love God shouted as he tossed a potion at them. "Visions of heartbreak past!"
The trio got covered in a cloud of purple smoke.
Suddenly, three figures appeared. Mabel recognized them as Norman, Mermando, and Gabe.
"We've come back, Mabel," said 'Gabe'.
Another boy appeared holding a sheet of paper.
"Yes, definitely, absolutely," he said.
Evan punched that boy, making him disappear.
"Did you really think we'd fall for that?" he asked.
"Of course I'll marry you, Evan," said Mabel's voice.
"What?" Evan reacted.
All of a sudden, another Mabel appeared in front of Evan.
"We can get married right now," she went on.
"Dammit, you two!" Dipper yelled. "It's not real!"
Right as he said that, the figure of Wendy approached him.
"Oh, but it can be," she said. "All you have to do is give me the bottle."
It was like Dipper's conscience disappeared right then and there. His instincts just told him to give 'Wendy' the bottle. He reached the bottle towards her.
"When these idiots see this balloon, they'll understand that I love young people," Stan said as he looked at the blueprint. It had his smiling face, and the words, 'I HEART KIDS' on a banner. Alright, let 'er rip."
Soos released the balloon too early.
"Oh no!" he shouted. "A letter rip!"
"What the H?" Stan reacted.
He narrowly avoided the falling H. The R came down not long after.
Some teenagers were just having fun at the concert when a shadow loomed over them. They looked up and saw a balloon floating towards them.
It had the face of a wrinkled old man. It smiled a creepy smile. Its eyes were facing opposite directions.
The banner read, 'I EAT KIDS'.
"But we're kids," said one teen.
"It's God's punishment for our terrible taste in everything!" shouted the other.
The balloon caught fire and started plummeting down.
"Mommy, is the floating head gonna eat us?" a child asked his mother.
"Yes, Charlie!" the mother cried.
Dipper almost gave 'Wendy' the potion when he saw her wink. He jumped back.
"This isn't real!" he reminded himself.
He turned to see the Love God still floating above them.
All Dipper could feel was this overwhelming anger towards the Love God for using Wendy's likeness against him. Out of impulse, he jumped.
He jumped very high in the air, right where the Love God was flying. Dipper punched him hard on the face.
Dipper landed on the groud safely.
"Wait, so you can fly too?" Evan asked.
"Not exactly," Dipper replied. "That was more of a big jump. I swear, I couldn't do that before."
"What is this?" asked Mabel. "Some teenage boy's power fantasy?"
The three stared in a certain direction.
A.N.
Bill!
Ha! Take that, you little creep!
The Love God was sent flying into a flaming balloon.
Stan and Soos walked to where the balloon landed.
"I don't know what the fuss is about," said Stan. "Back in my day, zeppelins fell out of the sky all the time."
"Ah, it's the old man from the sky!" a teen screamed.
Everyone in the crowd darted away. To Stan's surprise, he felt unfazed.
"You know, being loved by the youth is overrated," he decided. "Now, being feared is priceless."
Evan and the twins made it to Robbie and Tambry. Robbie was playing his guitar while Tambry listened to him.
"Remember, break them up, and everything is fixed," Dipper reminded.
Mabel nodded. She pointed the bottle at Robbie and Tambry. She teared up a bit.
"Sorry, Robbie," she muttered.
With that, Mabel sprayed the potion. Robbie and Tambry were hit.
They looked at each other, as if they just realized they were holding hands. They quickly pulled their hands away.
"What am I doing?" he asked. "I… I gotta go."
Robbie ran off.
Tambry just went back to scrolling through her phone.
"We did it," Mabel said sadly. "So what now?"
"We wait," Dipper replied.
Robbie burst into his room. He looked around and tried to process everything.
For so long, he blamed Dipper for his breakup with Wendy. He didn't even think that he was wrong to brainwash Wendy into loving him, until the same thing happened to him.
He realized now that so much about him needed to change.
He tore all his photos of Wendy off the wall and threw them into the trash.
He then took off his jacket and threw that away as well.
After that, he went into the bathroom.
The next morning, it was business as usual in the Mystery Shack.
Wendy was working the cash register.
Soos was dusting the shelves.
Dipper and Mabel were sweeping the floor.
That's when they heard the door open. Everyone turned to see who it was.
It was a boy with short, brown hair. He wore a green shirt with a yellow sun on it, blue shorts, and sandals.
It took Wendy a moment to recognize this person. When she saw some tiny hairs on his chin, though, she realized who he was immediately.
"Robbie?" she asked, confused.
"Hey," Robbie greeted nervously. "I, uh, just came to apologize for everything. I'm sorry for forcing you to get back together with me even though you clearly didn't want to, and I'm sorry for being a jerk to everyone around me. Now I realize how stupid I was."
Wendy glared at Robbie, suspicious. "Pardon me for being skeptical, but why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, I was given a much needed reality check yesterday." Robbie turned to Mabel. "I've been so miserable ever since Wendy broke up with me. I thought my life was over, but despite your… method of telling me, you were right. I just needed to move on. I'm almost… happy? It's weird."
Robbie then turned to Dipper.
"Hey kid," he went on. "I'm sorry for the way I acted before, and for blaming you for all my problems. You can have Wendy all you want. You deserve her."
"Hey, I'm standing right here, you know!" Wendy yelled.
"I appreciate it," said Dipper. "But she's not into me either."
Robbie chuckled, embarrassed. "Well, that's awkward. Well, if it's any consolation, I'd like you to have this."
Robbie handed Dipper a guitar. Dipper didn't know how to feel about it.
"Thanks, I guess," he said before noticing Robbie was about to leave. "Hey, aren't you at least gonna teach me how to play it?"
"No," Robbie replied. "You'll get the hang of it in a jiff."
That night, Dipper entered his room with his new guitar. He sat on his bed and started thinking.
Wendy's rejection was one of the most painful moments of Dipper's life. She was the first girl he ever fell in love with. He cried himself to sleep every night knowing he didn't have a chance.
Despite that, he knew he couldn't let those emotions control him, lest he end up like Robbie.
Dipper picked up his guitar, and started to play a tune. It didn't seem right, so he adjusted the strings.
Play "Let You Go" from High School Musical: The Musical: The Series
When he played the music again, it sounded better. Lyrics started to come to his mind.
Huh, Robbie wasn't kidding, he thought to himself.
Dipper:
Close the book before it turns to tragedy
Tear the treehouse down, give up the fantasy
Nothing to regret since the day we met
Glad we took a chance making our own world
Perfectly imperfect like it had to be
Robbie had lunch with his family for the first time in years. It actually felt nice talking and laughing with them again.
Who thought that one small kiss
Would turn into a heartbreak
'Cause since we first met
I swore I wouldn't walk away
Lee and Nate ran into each other at the mall. Despite the argument they had the day before, they were happy to see each other again. They spent a good while shopping and reconnecting. They didn't throw any snark at each other.
I love you so much that I gotta let you go
It couldn't last forever, and I hope you find better
I can't forget us, can't pretend we ain't broken
It was good together, now I gotta let you go
Thompson walked down the streets of Gravity Falls. He passed by an old playground. It was the same playground where he met Lee, Nate, and all of his other friends.
He saw that there were a couple of younger kids being picked on. Thompson thought back to how his friends always teased him and dared him to do things he didn't want to do.
He wasn't gonna let that happen to anyone else. He stepped up and defended the poor children.
I'm picking up pieces left and right
Now that our hearts are both untied
It'll take time, it'll take time
Tambry was doing her usual routine of scrolling through social media and making status updates when she found something interesting. For whatever reason, it wasn't as entertaining as it used to be.
That's when she ran into someone. She dropped her phone. She quickly went to pick it up. Someone else tried to pick it up, too, causing her to hold hands with them.
Tambry looked up to see that it was a guy around her age that she never met before. He picked up the phone and gave it back to Tambry.
They both talked for a little bit. Tambry didn't know why, but she actually enjoyed talking to this person.
When they were done talking, they exchanged contact info so they could stay in touch.
No one can say we didn't try
I think of these days all my life
It'll take time, it'll take time
When her shift was over, Wendy went straight home. She spent the night playing with her brothers. She never felt this close with them since her mother died. It felt… bittersweet.
Wendy shed a few tears. Her brothers noticed this and hugged her.
I love you so much that I gotta let you go
It couldn't last forever, and I hope you find better
As Dipper's confidence grew, so did his singing and music.
I can't forget us, I can't pretend we ain't broken
It was good together, now I've gotta let you go
End "Let You Go"
The moment Dipper concluded the song, he felt like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. He set the guitar down and went to bed, knowing that for the first time in a long time, he could sleep soundly.
A.N.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Dude, it's 1:36 in the morning. Thanksgiving has long passed in your region.
I don't care.
Anyway, this was a chapter I was definitely looking forward to writing.
The Love God isn't the most popular episode of the series, and I get why. It's yet another episode where even Mabel defenders can't justify her actions. I mean, she forced Robbie into a relationship with someone he never spoke to. It doesn't matter whether or not she had genuinely good intentions, or if she was just projecting her own feelings onto Robbie. What she did was really messed up.
I know I say this a lot, but you're such a hypocrite. Here you are, chewing Mabel out for her matchmaking, when you do the exact same thing in every single fanfiction you've ever written, like you're still coping with...
Shut up, Bill! At least I know better than to use love potions on people I hardly know.
You don't have love potions in your world.
And even if there were, I still wouldn't do it.
Anyway, I know what Journal 3 says about the love potion wearing off, which means Robbie and Tambry's love was real because they didn't break up when the potion wore off. Well, if that was Alex's true intention, he would've revealed that aspect in the episode itself, and not in some bonus book. Even then, it just feels like a copout meant to keep Mabel from being in the wrong.
As a result, I changed the events so that Mabel actually does spray Robbie and Tambry with the anti-love potion, resulting in them breaking up. Sadly, it doesn't lead to the friend group reuniting.
Though that does turn out to be a good thing. Another gripe so many people had with this episode was Wendy's friend group just coming back together in the end, which prevents Mabel from facing any consequences. If you ask me, this also ruins any chance any of them have at character development, so I changed it so the group doesn't reunite, and it allows all of them to grow into better people.
Wendy is reconnecting with her family.
Robbie is returning to his old bright and optimistic personality.
Tambry is becoming more social.
Thompson starts standing up for himself and others.
Lee and Nate are the exception. They manage to rebuild their friendship stronger than ever.
Another missed opportunity this episode has is Dipper getting over Wendy. This episode focuses on Robbie getting over Wendy, so it only makes sense we see the same happen with Dipper, but that doesn't happen.
As a result, we got Roadside Attraction, the episode unanimously voted by the fandom as the worst episode of Gravity Falls. It is far from a bad episode, but I understand why it's so hated on. It's a filler episode (that takes place before the penultimate one), Mabel's a hypocrite (and not called out for it like Evan called her out in this chapter), and Candy gains a crush on Dipper (which goes absolutely nowhere).
To fix that, I had this be the episode where Dipper gets over Wendy, and I'm gonna remove Roadside Attraction from the story. In its place is gonna be what we should've gotten in the actual show, another episode centered around Pacifica to continue developing her arc and relationship with Dipper.
That's all I have to say. Thanks for reading.