AN: First off, this is probably the last time I post multiple chapters in a row (I have other stories after all). So here it is! The AU version of Tourist Trapped! I'm re-watching the episode while I type this so I get all the relevant details. I tried not to include everything word for word though. That'd be…kind of boring.
Secondly, I'd like to thank Guest for his/her honesty about my OC. Thank you for politely telling me her flaws, I will try my best to make her a likable unique character and make sure she doesn't do anything that steals the lime light from the canon characters! (Update Dec. 31, she has now been removed).
If any other readers have a problem, you can politely tell me. I promise I won't bite your head off and start calling them "flames". It shows, just like Guest that you like my work and want me to improve (Also I wasn't trying to put myself in the story, it was just an idea).
So yeah, constructive criticism is loved just as much as theories and comments! Just no flames…
Also, the beginning of this chapter will break the fourth wall, okay? You don't mind? Good!
Now will this be good? Please tell me as you read chapter three! (Ha that rhymed!)
Chapter Three: Maybe…
Ah, summer break. A chance for relaxation, recreation, and taking her easy!
Unless you're the Pines.
The golf cart crashed through a Gravity Falls billboard and landed roughly before driving fast.
"It's getting closer!"
The boy driving the golf cart is Dipper Pines, the girl about to puke is his sister Mabel. And the teenager throwing fire balls is Matthew, or what we like to call him, Bill Cipher.
By now, you are not in fact wondering what they are doing in a golf cart escaping from a creature of unimaginable horror, assuming you watched the series. But the author doesn't care and shall tell you anyway. Let us rewind.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
"UGH! Why'd you make this dungeon so hard?" Dipper moaned as he tried to beat his brother at D, D, and more D.
"You're too smart. I need to give you a challenge, also I like seeing you moan in frustration," Bill said with a smirk.
"Well I'll make sure to beat you then," Dipper said with confidence.
After a few minutes of playing, Dipper threw up his hands in annoyance while Bill laughed. "I win!" He said cheerfully.
"I'll beat you one day," Dipper promised.
"Ha! Only if you survive this!" Bill said tickling his brother under the armpits.
Dipper exploded in laughter. "Stop! You're killing me! AH HA, HA!"
Then they heard a nearby scream of surprise. "Mabel!" Emmett Pines screamed.
"Looks like she's at it again," Dipper said as Bill chuckled and stopped tickling the boy.
The two boys walked out of the room to find a fuming Emmett, his tux covered in glitter and stick on gems as he scolded Mabel. "You look amazing though!" Mabel insisted
"Great news, kids!" Ellie said looking at her husband for a few seconds before turning back to her children. "You all need some fresh air, so, you're going to Gravity Falls!"
"Gravity Falls?" Dipper asked uncertainly.
"What?!" Bill demanded.
"Sounds like the name of a cool cartoon!" Mabel said excitedly. "When are we leaving?"
"This afternoon, me and your father already packed your bags," Ellie said.
"This is going to be fun!" Mabel said as Dipper and Bill groaned.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
On the bus, Dipper and Bill were reading while Mabel was knitting.
"Oh look! We're here!" Mabel said and began shrieking in excitement.
Bill cringed and Dipper glared. "Mabel, only dogs should hear your scream frequency!"
"Sorry! I'm just so, so," Mabel shrieked again.
"Hey, hey keep it down!" The bus driver said.
"Sorry Mr. Bus Man!" Mabel said giggling hysterically for an uncomfortable number of seconds.
"Arriving at Gravity Falls Oregon," the bus driver said.
Mabel squealed before taking her luggage, busting with sweaters, it then popped open and all the boy magazines and clothes fell.
"Oops! Hey...why do all the inside covers of my Several Timez magazines have a troll face drawn on it?" Mabel frowned.
"It was probably those bullies, I forgot to tell they got their hands on it," Dipper mumbled.
Mabel sighed sadly.
"You can always get new ones Mabel, come on," Dipper said, walking off the bus.
"I can see what I can do with my magic," Bill said in a quiet voice as to not be overheard by the bus driver who was waiting impatiently.
Mabel gave her brother a thankful smile and walked off as well.
"Who's supposed to be picking us up?" Dipper asked as the bus drove off.
"Great Uncle Stan," Bill muttered.
"You sound like you don't like him very much," Mabel stated.
Bill sighed. That was an understatement. Stanley ruined everything for him. Even if he did grow fond of the twins, he'd probably never forgive Stanley and his twin.
Speak of the devil.
Stan's car stopped write in front of them and he got out. "Hiya kids! I'm your Great Uncle Stan!"
"How old are you?" Mabel asked curiously "You look pretty ancient, Like a dinosaur!"
Stan's smile dropped and he frowned slightly. "Do you go around asking people's ages kid?"
"Nope! only the ancient looking ones. Can I go in?"
"Yeah," Stan said as Mabel sat down. "That's a cool car by the way," Mabel said.
"That's Mabel, I guess?" Stan said.
"Yup," Dipper said going into the car as well. Stan got into the front seat and Bill sat beside him.
"So, how's life? Matthew?" Stan asked as they drove to the shack. "Haven't seen you since you where, what, a baby?"
"Things are...different with the twins, other than that, same old, same old," Bill responded carelessly.
"You feeling alright kid? You sound stressed."
Your presence stresses me out to no end thank you very much! Bill sighed. "I'm fine, thanks for asking," he responded with.
As Stan pulled into the driveway and got out to unlock the door, the quartet looked on in silence.
"It looks like Anne of Green Gables!" Mabel gushed. "This is where dreams come true!"
"It kind of looks like a dump," Dipper mumbled.
"You'll get used to it," Bill promised. After all, he had to live here for a long while in Ford's head.
"Alright kids, this, is Soos. He's my repair man," Stan said as they walked inside, gesturing to a guy screwing in a light bulb. "Sup," he said.
"Soos, this is, Matthew, Mabel, and Dipper," Stan said.
"And over here," Stan gestured to the cash register. "Is my other employee Wendy."
"Hi," Wendy said looking up from her magazine before looking back down.
They then went upstairs.
"Here's where you'll be sleeping," Stan said gesturing to the three beds in the attic. "Make yourselves at home, also don't bother me, I have a tour in a few minutes." With that, Bill's sworn nemesis left the room.
"We have to share a room?" Mabel asked. "Cool! It's like sleeping over every single day!"
"This place is kind of dirty," Bill muttered.
"What are you talking about? Check out all my splinters!" Mabel said.
"I don't think that's good to have in your hands, Mabel," Bill said.
"They feel so nice and tingly though!" Mabel said.
"And there's a goat on my bed," Dipper said.
"How did a goat get in here?" Bill muttered.
Mabel walked over to the goat and smiled. "Hi friend!" The goat made a noise then proceeded to chew on Mabel's shooting star sweater. "Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater!"
Dipper looked grossed out.
"She's going to be this annoyingly optimistic for a while, isn't she?" Bill asked in dismay.
"Yup," Dipper sighed.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
It was five days after that something interesting happened.
"He's looking at it!" Mabel squealed "He's looking at it!"
"'Do you like me? Yes, totally, absolutely?'" The boy read and looked around, clearly confused.
"I rigged it!" Mabel giggled.
"Look, Mabel, I know you're going through your boy crazy face but I think you're over doing it on the 'crazy' part," Dipper said wiping a jar.
Mabel blew a raspberry. "Oh, come on! Crazy? I'm not crazy!"
"I beg to differ," Bill said remembering the other guys Mabel tried to hit on.
"Mock all you want brothers. This is my chance to find an epic summer romance!" Mabel said smugly. "I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked in right now!"
Everyone turned expectantly towards the hallway that lead to the museum. But it was just Stan burping.
"Aww why?" Mabel complained while Dipper laughed. "Be careful!" Bill joked. "This guy's a hottie! Mabel, you're in a love heptagon! All the ladies want him!"
Dipper laughed harder, then Mabel smiled and giggled too. Bill smiled at that, the warm feeling returning.
"Okay, I need somebody to hang up these signs in the spooky part of the woods," Stan announced.
"Not it!" the Pines siblings said in unison.
"Um, also not it," Soos said from on top a ladder.
"Nobody asked you Soos."
"I know, and I'm comfortable with that."
"Wendy," Stan said turning to the red-head. "I need you to hang up these signs."
"I would but…ugh, ugh, I can't reach, ugh," Wendy said reading her magazine.
"I'd fire you all if I could!" Stan said. "Okay," he said turning to the Pines. "Let's make it, eenie, meenie, miny, you," Stan pointed at Dipper.
"Aw, Grunkle Stan, there's something weird about those woods. My mosquito mark spelled 'beware.'" Dipper said showing off his arm.
"That says 'bewarb.'" Stan said, unimpressed.
Dipper blushed.
"There's nothing there. The 'monsters in the woods' stuff is trumped up by guys like me, for guys like him," Stan said pointing to a sweaty fat man laughing disturbingly.
"This town is weird," Bill commented.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
After about five minutes, Bill began to fidget. Dipper was gone for a long time. And he couldn't help but feel…what was he feeling? Was it…concern? Couldn't be. Bill told himself. I have no concern.
Then ten minutes went by. Finally, Bill got up and walked outside.
"Where're you going, Matt?" Mabel asked from where she was knitting on the counter.
"To go get Dipper. Want to come?"
"Sure!"
They found Dipper looking at something, his lips moving swiftly as he read.
"HALLO!" Mabel said loudly and Dipper screamed.
"You scream like a girl," Bill teased.
"What? I do not!" Dipper protested.
"What're you reading? Some nerd thing?" Mabel asked.
"Uh, uh, it's nothing!"
"'Uh, uh, it's nothing!'" Mabel mocked. "Are you really not going to show us?"
Dipper turned to where Gompers, the goat was eating the book he had been reading.
"Let's go somewhere private."
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
"According to this journal, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side!" Dipper said enthusiastically.
"What? No way!" Mabel said playfully shoving her brother.
"Yeah! And get this, the pages stop, as if the owner mysteriously disappeared. If this book is true, then I was right! I'm not being paranoid!" Dipper said with a grin.
Then, the doorbell rang.
"Who's that?" Dipper asked.
"Time to spill the beans! Boop! Beans," Mabel said knocking over an empty can of beans.
"Visual puns, really?" Bill said.
Mabel ignored him. "This girl's got herself a date!"
"Are you serious? I've been only gone for a half-hour!" Dipper exclaimed.
"What can I say? I'm IRRISISTABLE!" Mabel said flailing her sweater sleeves everywhere.
The doorbell rang again. "Coming!" Mabel said cheerfully and skipped down the hallway.
"What're you reading kid?" Stan asked as he walked into the living room. Dipper hid the book quickly. "I was just reading…Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine?"
"That's a good issue," Stan said.
"Hello family! Meet my new boyfriend!" Mabel said dragging a shady looking guy over.
"What's your name?" Dipper asked.
"Normal…MAN!" The guy said. Bill narrowed his eyes. "Normal man?" He asked.
"He means Norman," Mabel said with a smile. "He's really deep. Oh! I feel some muscle, what a surprise…"
"Are you bleeding Norman?" Dipper asked.
"It's jam," Norman said, unconvincingly. Bill's suspicions grew.
"Do you want to, hold hands or something?" Norman asked Mabel.
Mabel giggled. "Don't wait up!" She said running out the door. Norman followed, banging into stuff.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
"Beware of Gravity Fall's notorious, ZOMBIES!" Dipper screamed as he read the journal.
"Calm down," Bill said. "I don't think he was a zombie."
"You don't?" Dipper asked.
"He's definitely not human, that's for sure," Bill muttered.
"What do we do? Is Mabel in trouble?" Dipper asked.
Before they could continue though, Mabel waltzed through with a smile on her face.
"Mabel! We need to talk about Norman!" Dipper said urgently.
"Isn't he the best? Look out my smooch mark! Ha! Just joking!" Mabel said when her siblings gasped. "It was the leaf blower!"
"We think Norman isn't human," Bill said. "What? No way!" Mabel said with a scowl.
"It all makes sense!" Dipper said, walking around in circles. "The limping, the bleeding, he doesn't blink!"
"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking," Mabel suggested.
"Why aren't you taking us seriously?" Bill demanded. "Norman could be dangerous!"
"Yeah, remember what the journal said? Trust no one!" Dipper said in agreement with Bill.
"Why can't you trust me?" Mabel asked then said, "Beep, bop!" As she put in two earrings.
"We're trying to help you!" Bill said.
Mabel glared vigorously before huffing and storming out.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
"Is Mabel right, Matthew?" Dipper asked Bill as they watched her go out with Norman. "Are we being paranoid?"
"Maybe—," Bill began, but then they heard the unmistakable scream of their sister.
Bill was certain of it this time. He was feeling concern. But now he was also feeling something else.
Panic.
"Mabel!" The two screamed in unison. They all ran outside.
"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper exclaimed. "Grunkle Stan!" But Stan was too busy giving a tour.
"Useless," Bill hissed under his breath.
"Look!" Dipper said pointing to a golf cart that Wendy was driving.
"Wendy!" Dipper exclaimed as they ran towards her. "We need that! We have to save Mabel from a supernatural thing!"
Wendy smiled before tossing the keys. "Don't hit any pedestrians!" She called.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
Dipper drove the cart through the woods, Bill was breathing heavily, and he found himself rethinking, please be alright, please be alright, please be alright.
Then they heard Mabel scream for help.
"Don't worry Mabel! We'll save you from that zombie! Or whatever has you!" Dipper exclaimed.
"Hey!" A voice said. "Stop struggling! You're making this harder than it should be!" Dipper stopped the cart and they seemed to be in a place filled with tiny men with red hats.
"What the heck is going on here?!" Dipper demanded.
"Guys! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're all jerks!" Mabel, who was tied up, screamed.
"No, no, you see, your sister isn't in trouble. She's just marrying all of us! Isn't that right sweetie?" The lead gnome asked.
"You're all butt faces!" Mabel said as Dipper looked through his journal. "Ugh! No weakness!" He moaned. "Are you serious?" Mabel complained.
"Alright, let my sister go," Dipper said turning to the gnomes.
"Or else," Bill emphasized with his flaming fists.
"You don't know who you're dealing with boys! The gnomes are a powerful race—!" Dipper picked the gnome up and tossed him into the bushes.
"Good one," Bill said. Dipper gave him a tiny smile before freeing Mabel. The siblings quickly got into the cart and sped off.
"Go faster!" Mabel exclaimed.
"Did you see their legs? They're not catching up," Dipper joked.
"Never underestimate your enemies, Dipper," Bill warned. "I learned that the hard way."
"What do you mean—?" Dipper stopped when they heard stomping. The gnomes had become some giant monster.
"Oh my—DIPPER WHY ARE YOU STOPPING!?" Mabel screeched. Dipper quickly went into full gear. Bill went in the back, tossing fire balls at the gnome monster. They were nonflammable but they could at least slow them down.
The golf cart drove off a cliff and they all screamed.
A gnome went on top of Dipper and Mabel cried out, punching the gnome until it came off, the star cap on Dipper's head getting lost in the process.
The gnome monster attempted to punch the golf cart. Bill shot his biggest flame yet at the monster, then blinked in surprise when the gnomes screamed as fire burned their butts. Since when were his flames—?
"Dipper! Look out!" Mabel screamed as they narrowly dodged a tree. The gold cart careened to the side and they all fell out.
"Marry us, Mabel! Before we do something crazy!" The lead gnome demanded.
"You are way too desperate, Jeff!" Bill snapped.
"How do you know my—? Doesn't matter! Mabel, I'm warning you!" Jeff exclaimed.
"I have to do it," Mabel said firmly.
"What?" Dipper exclaimed.
"Mabel?" Bill asked in confusion.
"Trust me," Mabel said firmly. Bill knew that look.
Mabel had a plan. The two boys nodded as Mabel stepped forward.
"I'll marry you," Mabel said.
"Yes!" Jeff said as he climbed down and put the ring on Mabel's finger. "You may now kiss the bride," Mabel said.
Jeff looked surprised at first, but then he smiled. "Don't mind if I do!" They both leaned in and…
Mabel turned on the leaf blower.
Jeff screamed.
"This is for lying to me!" Mabel said as Jeff got sucked up. "This is for breaking my heart!" Mabel turned the leaf blower on to the max and Jeff screamed.
"And this is for messing with my brothers!" Mabel finally shot the gnome at the gnome made monster. They all screamed and shot into the woods.
"I'll get you for this!" Jeff threatened.
"Should we be worried by that?" Dipper asked.
"Nope." Bill said.
Mabel turned to her siblings. "I'm sorry for not believing you guys. It sucks that my first boyfriend was a bunch of gnomes."
"Hey it's fine, now who wants a hug from your big brother?" Bill asked kneeling and holding out his arms.
The twins grinned before wrapping their arms around Bill.
"Pat, pat," they all said in unison.
As they walked in, they saw Stan counting money.
"What happened to—?"
"Don't. Ask," Bill muttered.
"Hey!" Stan called. The siblings stopped and turned. "What do you know? I over stocked! Take something…on the house."
Mabel grinned. Her siblings where more suspicious. "What's the catch?" Dipper asked. Judging by Bill's face, he was thinking the same thing.
"The catch is pick something before I change my mind," Stan grumbled.
Dipper found a pine tree hat and Bill smirked. How coincidental. Bill found a top hat, and put it on his head before smiling at the memories of tormenting.
"I will get…A GRAPPLING HOOK!" Mabel said dramatically.
"Don't you want a doll or something?" Stan asked.
Mabel fired the hook and was launched into the air. "Grappling hook!" She insisted.
"Fair enough."
"Why do you even sell that?" Dipper asked.
Stan shrugged.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
Bill fingered the top hat while Dipper wrote in the journal and Mabel jumped on her bed.
"Get the light Mabel," Dipper said. Mabel launched her grappling hook and the lantern and the window beside it shattered. The twins laughed and Bill smiled, looking back down at his top hat.
He missed his old self but, maybe, just maybe being human wasn't that hard. After all, if it meant taking care of the Pines Twins, then his life wasn't too boring, now was it?
Bill smiled fondly at his siblings before lying in his bed with a smile.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
Hope you enjoyed!
Again, don't hesitate to point out any flaws! I will NOT bite your head off, promise!
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