AN: HEY! It's the Fantasy Freak, here with another chapter! There isn't much to say but, a huge thank you to the lovely people who followed, favorited, and reviewed! Your support means the world to me! Also, a big thanks to Quiet Leaf for the constructive criticism, I'll be sure to take your words to heart! And to answer your question, Madison was Mabel and Dipper's triplet sister (Yeah…don't know what I was thinking either).
My creative juices are alive! So, enjoy chapter five (Oooh, that rhymed again!)!
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
Chapter Five: Pretty Boy
Bill sat on his bed, watching Dipper and Mabel sleep peacefully. Dipper didn't have another nightmare this time, that was a relief. Though Bill was expecting it. If Bill where to almost lose either Mabel or Dipper to an NDE he'd probably be scared out of his wits.
Mabel was muttering something about "waffles with big arms" and Bill snorted. She was probably dreaming about something so wacky that'd it put his Weirdmaggedon to shame.
"Matthew…" Mabel murmured.
Bill's head snapped towards his sister squeezing her pillow tightly. She's dreaming about me? Bill felt his lips curve into a smile.
"Come and put this red lipstick on…it's so good…"
Bill's smile dropped and he hid under the covers.
"Her dream is my nightmare!" He hissed to himself.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
Bill sat in the sofa reading his warn out copy of Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone while Mabel knitted while watching and episode of "Ducktective" with Dipper.
"Your services will not be required here, I've looked through the evidence and this is obviously and accident," The constable on the show said.
The Duck quaked, and the subtitles read, "An accident constable? Or MURDER?!"
"What?!"
"That duck is a genius!" Mabel gushed squeezing her cheeks.
"Eh, it's easier to solve clues when you're so close to the ground," Dipper said, unimpressed.
"I'd say it's better being higher up," Bill said looking up from his book momentarily. "You can see more."
"True, but you can also miss small details," Dipper said.
Bill shrugged. "Touché."
"Hey, dudes! You'll never guess what I found!" Soos said excitedly from the living room doorway.
"Buried treasure!" Dipper exclaimed.
"Buried—hey! I was going to say that!" Mabel said playfully punching Dipper on the arm.
"A secret museum with cursed wax figures?" Bill said closing his book.
"Eh, close dude," Soos said. "Follow me."
Soos led the Pines through a dark hallway. "So, I was cleaning up when I found this super-secret door covered with wallpaper and stuff, spooky, I tell you," Soos said proudly gesturing to the door.
They opened the door and inside were indeed wax figures.
"Wow! You were right Matt!" Mabel exclaimed in awe as she looked around.
"They're all so life like," Dipper said as Bill lit a flame to see better. "Except for that one," He said, shining a flashlight on what looked like a figure of Stan.
"Hello!" He said cheerfully. Bill cried out in surprise while Mabel, Dipper, and Soos screamed.
"It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!"
Everyone, sans Bill, ran around screaming.
"I'm not sure if I should be offended by this," Stan said as everyone continued screaming.
Bill shrugged. "I would."
"Eh, I'll let it slide this time. Hey kids, calm down! That includes you, Soos!" Stan barked.
The screaming ended abruptly.
"So much for letting it slide," Bill commented.
"This, is my Gravity Falls Wax Museum! One of my most popular attractions! Until I forgot all about it," Stan said.
"If it was so popular why did you forget about it?" Dipper asked.
"Because it stopped making money," Stan replied.
"It was popular and it stopped—?" Bill began.
"Okay, okay. That's not important, is it?" Stan said. "Anyway, I got 'em all, Ganges Khan, Sherlock Holmes," Stan stopped at a figure of Larry King and squinted at it. "I don't know some…goblin man?"
"Looks more like a troll," Bill said.
"Agreed," said Stan.
Dipper shivered suddenly. "Is anyone else getting the creeps in here?"
"There is something weird here," Bill commented. "Can't put a finger on it…Oh! Yeah I can!" Bill put a finger on Wax Shakespeare and the twins giggled at the tiny attempt of humor.
"And here, my personal favorite, Wax Abraham—what?!" Stan exclaimed grabbing his hair in panic. "Who left the blinds open? I'm looking at you John Wilks Booth!"
"Lincoln is one unlucky guy," Soos stated.
"How do you fix a wax sculpture?" Stan asked sadly, kneeling next to the melted wax.
"Aw, where's that smile?" Mabel asked. Stan just grunted. "Beep boop bop!" She said poking Stan in the cheek mouth and eye. Bill smiled. He couldn't even imagine why he had hated Mabel before, she was just so loveable. Bill blinked twice. Did he just think that?
"Ow," Stan grumbled. Apparently, he didn't appreciate Mabel's optimism.
"Don't worry Grunkle Stan! I'll make you a new wax figure with the old wax!" Mabel said cheerfully.
"You think you could make one of these puppies?" Stan asked somewhat incredulously.
"Of course, she can," Bill said before Mabel could respond. "She's Mabel Pines, master artist."
Mabel gave her brother a large grin.
"Well, I like your gumption, kid," Stan with a smile.
"I don't know what that word means but thank you!"
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
"Hey Dipper, Matt!" Mabel said as she jumped from on top of a wooden stool with a notebook in hand. Dipper choked on the Pitt Cola he was drinking in surprise. "What do you think of my idea? Half fairy princess, and half horse fairy princess!"
"What about something from real life?" Dipper suggested.
"Who says that can't be real?" Bill asked crossing his arms.
"Good point," Dipper mused.
"Something more realistic? Okay, what about…" Mabel flipped a page and showed another drawing. "How about a giant waffle with arms?"
"What about somebody in your family?" Dipper suggested.
"Hey, kids," Stan said walking in. "Did any of you see my pants? I can't find it." Mabel grinned when Stan posed on top of a suitcase.
"Oh, muse," She said in a dreamy voice. "You work in mysterious ways…"
"Why is your sister talking to the ceiling?"
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
"Wow, I knew you'd to a good job, Mabel but…wow," Bill looked in awe at Mabel's handy work.
"Thanks, Matthew! But I need more glitter, don't you think?" Mabel said.
"Agreed," Soos stated.
Mabel took a bucket of pink glitter and tossed it on the wax sculpture.
"Perfect!" Mabel said.
"Hey, now I lost my shoes—," Stan began. When he saw the wax sculpture he screamed and fell to the floor.
"What was that?" Bill demanded with his hands on his hips.
"Uh…surprise, I guess?" Stan said.
"What do you think, though? Is it 'this is amazing!' surprise? Or is it 'this is horrible!' surprise?" Mabel asked.
"I think, the wax museum is back in business!" Stan cheered.
"You didn't answer the question," Mabel said. "But I think you mean 'this is amazing!' surprise!"
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L...
Stan tapped the microphone, causing the feedback to make an annoying noise. People in the audience made sounds of annoyance.
"Now, you all know me!" Stan said cheerfully. "Darling Mr. Mystery! Ladies please control yourselves!"
Bill blinked twice. From what he could see, nobody was going crazy, much less the ladies.
"As you all know, I bring the world novelties and befuddlements that world has never known! But enough about me!" Stan walked over to his wax self, covered under a blanket. "Behold, me!"
There were about two unenthusiastic claps and man coughing in the audience.
"And now a word from our Mabel Angelo!" Stan said handing the mic to Mabel. "It's Mabel," She corrected.
"Thank you for coming!" Mabel said. "I made this sculpture with my own two hands!"
The audience didn't seem impressed, instead they continued to look bored. That irked Bill for some reason so he sent the audience a vicious glare.
They instantly straightened up and applauded politely. Mabel looked surprised, then she turned to Bill who winked at her. The girl grinned and continued. "It is covered with my sweat, blood, tears, and other bodily fluids!"
The crowd groaned in disgust.
"I will now take questions!" Mabel said. "You!" She said pointing to Spectacles.
"Old Man McGucket, are those wax figures alive? And follow up question, will I survive the wax apocalypse?" Spectacles asked.
"Um…yes!" Mabel said. "Next?"
"Toby Determined of the Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really believe that this constitute is the wonder of the world?" A short very ugly man asked.
"Your mic is a turkey baster, Toby," Stan grumbled.
"It certainly is…" Toby said with slumped shoulders.
"Next question," Stan said.
"Sandra Hermenez, a real reporter," a stern and somewhat stuck up looking woman said. "The flyer promised free pizza to however attended the event, is this true?"
The crowd exploded in an uproar of agreement.
"Uh, that was a typo! Goodbye!" Stan said as he threw a smoke bomb and ran away. There was a huge riot and Bill quickly grabbed Mabel's arm and away from the people. It was just pizza! Bill screeched in his head.
"I think that went well!" Mabel said, her usual positive self.
"Certainly," Bill said sarcastically.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L…
"Hot pumpkin pie!" Stan exclaimed. "Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person!"
Mabel looked up with a smile. "This guy!" Stan said gesturing to the Wax Stan. Mabel playfully punched Stan in the stomach. "Yeah, yeah. You too you little gremlin, no off to bed with you three!" Stan said as he sat beside his wax self.
"I can't help but feel like you didn't get the thanks you deserved," Dipper said as the trio brushed their teeth.
"Eh, you know Grunkle Stan. Hey! You guys want to have a toothbrush race?" Mabel asked hopefully.
The boys where about to agree when they heard Stan scream.
They spit out the toothpaste before running downstairs. "Wax Stan had been MURDERED!" Stan exclaimed.
Mabel gasped and fainted. Bill cried in surprise and Dipper caught her.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L…
"I just went to use the bathroom," Stan told the police men. "And when I came back he was beheaded!"
"My hard work!" Mabel cried. Dipper put a comforting hand on his sister's shoulder. "Who could've done this?" He asked. "It could've been anyone," Bill muttered.
"Hate to break it to you, but this case is unsolvable," Sheriff Blubs said sipping his coffee.
"What?!" Stan, Mabel and Dipper exclaimed.
"You didn't even try yet!" Bill snapped.
"Maybe I can help!" Dipper said hopefully.
"Dipper's good with mysteries! And Matthew's super smart!" Mabel said. "He figured out who was eating the tin cans."
"All signs pointed to the goat," Dipper said proudly.
"And Matthew got a scholarship with West Tech!" Mabel added.
"At thirteen," Bill said smugly.
"Yeah, those boys have a brain in their heads, let 'em help!" Stan agreed.
"Ha!" Sherif Blubs said. "Fancy city boys going to solve a mystery with their fancy computer phones, eh?"
"City boys! CITY BOYS!" Deputy Durland said.
"You are adorable!" Sherif Blubs said.
"Adorable?" Dipper asked, and his face became a dark scowl.
"At least we're not idiots!" Bill snapped causing the laughter stop abruptly.
"Whatever boys. Just let the adults handle this," Sheriff Blubs said. Then his radio crackled. "Attention all units, Steve is about to shove an entire cantaloupe in his mouth, I repeat, an entire cantaloupe!"
The police officers laughed cheerfully and ran out of the shack. "Some adults you are!" Bill called after them.
"Exactly," Dipper ground out. "We'll show them how adorable we are." Then Dipper sneezed.
"Aw! You sneeze like a kitten!" Mabel cooed.
Dipper glared.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L…
"There were many unhappy peoples at the opening yesterday," Dipper said walking around the crime scene.
"Unhappy enough for MURDER!" Mabel said.
"it could've been anyone," Dipper continued.
"Even us!" Mabel added.
"Not likely," Bill said.
"But still possible," Mabel insisted. "Especially if we were possessed by demons!"
"Fair enough." Bill shrugged.
"It could've also been anything. Zombies, ghosts, etc. It could be weeks before we find our next clue," Dipper said.
"Look! A clue!" Mabel said pointing at footprints in the shag carpet, with a hole in it.
"And they lead to…" Dipper led his siblings behind the couch where, sitting there innocently was an axe.
"Let's show this to someone," Bill said.
The twins nodded in agreement.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L…
"What do you think?" Dipper asked showing Soos the axe.
"In my opinion? It's an axe," Soos replied.
Ah, typical Soos. Bill said mentally face-palming.
"An axe!" Dipper said.
"The lumberjack! He was furious when he didn't get that pizza!" Mabel said.
"That's right…" Bill smiled. "Sounds like something he'd do."
"You know Manly Dan?" Soos asked in slight surprise.
Bill mentally kicked himself. "Ah, yeah, Ice Girl told me."
"Ice Girl?" Dipper and Mabel asked in unison.
By then, Bill was mentally strangling himself, oh, and he was sweating.
"Wendy, er, a nickname I made for her," Bill said. "Okay!" Mabel said letting go. Dipper gave his elder brother a calculating look before nodding slowly. Bill could tell from the look in his eyes that he was still suspicious though.
Damnit! Damnit, damnit, DAMNIT! Bill mentally cursed himself.
"Do you know where he hangs out?" Bill asked quickly.
"Yeah, in a biker joint in the town," Soos said.
"Then that's where we're going," Dipper said confidently.
"Dudes you're like, the Mysterious Three!" Soos said.
Bill cringed and Dipper said, "Don't call us that."
As the trio walked outside, they saw Stan pulling out a coffin from the back of his car. "Hey, you kids mind helping me with this?"
"We're going on a lead to find the murderer of wax Stan," Dipper said.
"We have an axe! Ree, ree, ree!" Mabel said swing in the axe around.
"Well, if that's what you're doing," Stan made a serious pose. "Avenge me kids! AVENGE ME!"
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L…
"Hi there!" Mabel said holding her fake ID up. "We're here to investigate the murder of Wax Stan!" Mabel shook the card, making the googely eyes on it wiggle around.
The man shrugged. "I don't see why not."
The hell? Is everyone in this town idiots?
The bar was in chaos. There where men fighting each other and quite a few drunk. "He's resting," Mabel said to an unconscious man.
"Aye, pretty boy," Bill spun around to see I burly man sneering at him. "A lad like you shouldn't be here."
"Did you just call me 'pretty boy?'" Bill demanded.
"Maybe," The burly man said.
Meanwhile, Dipper grinned brightly, he had another lead. He was seriously good at this! "Hey, Mabel, Matthew—!" Suddenly, a burly man flew above his head. "Huh?" Dipper said.
He saw Mabel and a bunch of other men in a circle chanting "Go! Go! Go!"
Dipper shoved between his sister and his jaw dropped when he saw his brother straddled on a man's back, pinning his arms in an uncomfortable position.
"Hey! Matt!" Dipper called as said teen kicked the man in the back of his head and knocked him out. The crowd cheered, Mabel the loudest.
"I found a lead!" Dipper said.
"Great job Dipping Sauce!" Bill said getting off the man and walking out of the throng of people, grinning at those who told him to come back soon.
"We need to find somebody who's left handed."
They spent hours having the inhabitants of Gravity Falls use their dominant hand, until there was only one person left.
"Okay, so we have one suspect left," Dipper said flipping through his notebook.
"Toby Determined," Bill said with a smirk
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L…
"You kids better be right about this," Sheriff Blubs warned. "Otherwise you won't hear the end of it!"
"All the evidence leads to here," Dipper insisted.
The five of them broke in and Toby screamed, falling off his chair.
"Nobody move! This is a raid!" Sheriff Blubs said and Deputy Durland hit a lamp.
"What is this?! A raid?!" Toby asked in horror.
Uh…my IQ is dropping…
"Toby Determined, you are under arrest for the murder of Wax Stan!" Dipper said pointing an accusing finger at the man. "You have the right to be impressed by our amazing detective skills!" Mabel and Dipper high fived each of Bill's hands.
"Your knees must be hurting, from jumping to conclusions! Ha cha, cha!" Toby said doing a stupid dance.
"Don't try and deny it!" Dipper said. "Your paper was failing, you wanted the Wax Museum to be your next big story, and when that didn't work out, you decided to make your own headline! But you where sloppy, and all evidence pointed to you."
"Gobbling goose feathers!" Toby said. "I had nothing to do with that!"
"I knew—wait what?" Dipper demanded.
"What were you doing then?" Bill asked crossing his arms.
Toby blushed lightly before showcasing a video of him kissing a cardboard cut out of Sandra. Everyone moaned in disgust.
"Well, Toby, you're off the hook," Blubs said.
"Hooray!" Toby said.
"But, but…" Dipper was bewildered.
"I have a headline!" Blubs said. "City Kids Waste Everybody's Time!"
The three adults laughed. Dipper and Mabel looked embarrassed and Bill glared, clenching his fists.
"Wow! I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were you!" Toby laughed.
"At least we don't kiss cardboard crushes," Bill ground out.
Toby blushed vigorously and Bill smirked.
...A-X-O-L-O-T-L…
"Today, we honour the death of Wax Stan," Stan said at his podium. "Some say it's wrong to love a wax copy of yourself."
"They're wrong!" Soos cried.
"Easy Soos," Stan said. "Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven…" Stan's eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry!" Stan exclaimed running out.
"Oh dude!" Soos says running out too.
Bill couldn't help feeling that Wax Stan reminded real Stan of his twin, his natural carbon copy, he felt his heart go out ever slightly for him. What the hell Cipher?! What's wrong with you?!
Dipper sighed. "We couldn't even solve the mystery," Dipper says sadly.
"We've come so far! We can't give up now!" Mabel said putting a hand on Dipper's shoulder.
"There's something we're missing," Bill muttered. "There has to be."
He and his siblings looked at Wax Stan.
"He has a hole in his shoe," Dipper commented.
"Yeah, all the wax figures have it, to fit their pole thingies in," Mabel said.
Bill sucked in a sharp breath. The uneasy feeling Dipper was feeling? The holed shoe in the shag carpet? The unidentifiable axe?
Dipper figured it out the same time Bill did. "Guys! The killers are—,"
"Right behind you," a voice said. The trio spun around to find the wax figures standing up. "Bravo, children, you figured out are secret!" Wax Sherlock Holmes said, holding out Stan's head.
"Applaud them!" Holmes said. The figures smiled and clapped sincerely. "No! That's too sincere, slower—yes that's right."
"Are you guys…Magic?" Mabel asked.
Holmes laughed. "No! We're CURSED!"
"Same thing," Bill grumbled.
"Shut it blondie!" Holmes snapped before gaining back is composure.
"We were bought years ago by your uncle at a garage sale. What he didn't know was that we come alive whenever the moon waxes. So, by day we were the play things of man, but we would rule the night!" Then Holmes' smile dropped and his gaze darkened. "But then your uncle closed up shop. We waited for years to get back at him…but we got the wrong guy."
"You were trying to kill Grunkle Stan for real?!" Dipper asked in terror.
"Yes…and now that you know our secret, you all must die." Holmes and the other wax figures' eyes rolled to the back of their heads and they advanced towards the three Pines.
"Get back!" Bill snapped throwing a flame at Ganges Khan. He screamed and exploded into melted wax. The rest of the wax figures gasped.
"What are you?!" Wax Robin Hood demanded.
"Eh, you'll never know," Bill said killing him too. Robin wailed as he too became a puddle. "Anybody else want a piece of me?"
The figures backed up. Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look before taking artificial candles and holding them like swords, standing beside their brother and his flaming fists.
"What are we? Cowards?" Holmes demanded. The wax figures exchanged a look before letting out a battle cry and charging forwards.
Mabel sliced one figures arm off with her candle, Dipper beheaded Larry King. Bill melted most of them with his flames. Then, he saw Holmes with a sword, about to chop Dipper. Bill cried out and levitated wax John Booth's head between the sword and his brother.
Sherlock Holmes turned to Bill and raised his sword. Bill inhaled sharply, not exactly prepared. Geez, he could really use a sword right about now!
There was an explosion of blue light and a sword appeared in Bill's hand, blocking Sherlock's attack. Unfortunately, he didn't predict the impact and Bill staggered and fell backwards, his back hitting the fire place.
Holmes rose his sword. "Fair well, Freaky Fire—." Before the wax figure could finish, Mabel rammed her shoulder into his back causing him to scream and topple into the flames.
"Defeated by three children!" Sherlock screeched as the flames melted his skin. He clawed at Bill who quickly dodged. "NOOO!" And then he was gone.
"Good one, Mabes," Bill said with a grin. "Hey, nobody tries to hurt any of my brothers and gets away with it!" She said proudly.
"How'd you do that Matt?" Dipper asked in awe.
"Do what?" Bill asked getting back up.
"Make that sword appear," Dipper said. "Yeah!" Mabel agreed. " It was awesome!"
"Um, I think I just…thought of it," Bill said.
"Can you do it again?!" Mabel asked eagerly.
Bill shrugged. "Sure I guess." He thought of a doll version of Mabel and after a flash of blue, it appeared in his hand. He smiled and handed it to s squealing Mabel.
"How about a one hundred dollar bill?" Dipper asked excitedly.
Bill thought of it and blinked twice. "What do you know?" He said looking at the bill.
"Make a cat appear!" Mabel exclaimed. Bill tried thinking of a cat. Nothing.
"I guess you can't do living things," Dipper summarized.
"But still, that's awesome!" Mabel said. "Just don't tell Grunkle Stan!"
"Don't tell me what? And holy moly what happened in here?!" Stan demanded as he walked in.
"Your wax figures tried to kill us, so we returned the favour and killed then," Bill said casually.
"When you say it that way…it sounds dark…" Mabel muttered.
"It is what it is," Dipper said.
"Ha!" Stan exclaimed. "You kids and your imagination!"
"We also got this," Dipper said holding up Stan's glittery head. "I took it from Sherlock Holmes before he burnt to death and…now I know what Mabel means…"
"Doesn't bother me," Bill shrugged.
"Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie action!" Stan said with his signature broad grin.
"Yeah…I don't—," Dipper began but couldn't finish because Stan had already started to noogie him. He laughed as Stan did the same thing to Mabel, and then Bill, causing him not only to laugh, but to feel another one of those warm sensations.
"You city kids figure out the case yet?" Sheriff Blubs was outside the window. "I'm so confident your say 'no' that I'm going to take a slow sip of my coffee."
"We did actually," Dipper said holding up Stan's head. Blubs, who was indeed slowly sipping his coffee, spit on Durland in surprise. He screamed and he spat on Blub's face as they drove off screaming.
"Good riddance!" Bill said as the rest of the Pines laughed.
"We got rid of them all, right?" Dipper asked.
"I'm nighty-nine percent sure!" Mabel said.
"Good enough for me," Bill said then paused when he swore he heard Larry King's voice. Eh, probably nothing.
AN: Hope you enjoyed! And sorry if the climax seemed slightly rushed.
Fantasy Freak OUT!