AN: Hello again! I'm updating earlier in the day than usual! Why? Because GRAPPLING HOOK!

No, :3 the real reason is because the response from last chapter was phenomenal. I'd like to tell all my new readers and my old, thank you for enjoying the story so far! Your happiness is mine!

Thank you to my reviewer: Weirdmaggedon for pointing out Matthew's puking when there shouldn't always be food in his stomach. Ha, ha! Yeah, I need to edit that! Your comment made me laugh out loud by the way; made my sister look at me weird. XD

So, I got a pairing request from one of my reviewer named, WenDip and Pinecest about pairing Dipper and Matthew up…Yeah, I'm a bit iffy when it comes to incest pairings, I mean I don't mind slash pairings, but incest pairings…eh, I'm not comfortable with.

Also, the song at the beginning is called "Far Away from Home" by Groove Coverage. Go check it out! Sweet song!

Anyhow! Back to business you came to read a chapter so here's a chapter! Enjoy!

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

Chapter Fourteen: Mr. Mad Hatter

"In my dreams, I am loved,

So, far away from home.

What a night, in a world,

So, far away from home.

All my life, all the time,

So, far away from home,

Without you, I will be,

So, far away from home."

"You got a nice voice, Matthew," Wendy commented looking up from her magazine and smiling.

"Thanks," Matthew replied leaning against the counter while Dipper read Journal 3 once more as Mabel spun on a globe.

"Hey Mabel, Matt? Do you two believe in ghosts?" Dipper asked finally.

"Sure," Matthew said. "I once made a deal with a ghost."

"Really?" Mabel asked, still spinning on the globe.

"Oh yeah," Matthew chuckled at the memory. "She wanted cheesecake I think, so I gave it to her, pretty easy, then she thought I was some fairy godmother and demanded I do more stuff for her so I…" his voice trailed off when he saw Wendy looking at him funny.

"What Matthew means is that Dipper is a total dork!" Mabel snorted. Dipper stuck his pencil on the globe and Mabel fell off.

"Okay, people!" Stan said as he walked through the gift shop. "I'm going to go taunt Stratus Evergreen. His place was spray-painted by two yahoos! Ha! Good riddance!"

Dipper and Matthew shared a significant smirk.

"You all are going to clean the bathrooms, right?" Stan asked.

"Yes, sir!" Soos said proudly.

"Absolutely not!" Wendy said.

"Wouldn't dream of it!" Matthew added.

"Ha! You stay out of trouble!" Then he closed the door. Wendy walked over to a curtain and pulled it back, revealing a latter. "What's this, a secret ladder to the roof?" She asked slyly.

"Are we allowed to go up there?" Dipper asked eagerly.

"Totally, if you aren't Stan and you're afraid of heights," Matthew said winking at the twins.

"Ha! That's what he was talking about yesterday!" Mabel laughed.

"Aw, man!" Dipper said with a rueful smirk. "Black mail opportunity!"

Everyone, minus Soos laughed at that.

"Uh…maybe we shouldn't do this?" Soos said looking at the ladder.

"Huh? Huh?" Wendy said, making Soos get sweaty. "Come on! Roof time, roof time!"

"Roof time, roof time!" The Pines siblings chanted.

"I-I don't know guys, maybe we shouldn't do this," Soos said.

"Lighten up dude," Matthew said punching Soos playfully in the arm before following everyone else up the ladder.

"Whoa! Cool!" Mabel said as the three of them made it to the top of the roof.

"You put all this stuff up here?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah, I may or may not sneak up here all the time during work hours," Wendy said with a smirk.

"Why didn't you tell me? I was stuck hiding earbuds under my hair and just nodding to everything Stan says when he talks to me," Matthew said.

"I liked seeing you suffer," Wendy said.

"You're a bully," Matthew smirked.

"Ha! You better believe it. Hey, watch this," Wendy said taking a pine cone and tossing at the totem pole that had a target drawn on it. Wendy hit the bullseye.

"Yes!" She cheered.

"Oooh! Let me try!" Mabel said as she and Dipper began throwing pine cones, Dipper however, hit a car, causing it to sound its alarm.

Dipper hissed and blushed fiercely.

"Good one, Dipping Sauce!" Matthew said ruffling Dipper's hair.

"Yeah, good one, man! High-five!" Wendy held her hand up. For a few seconds, Dipper just stared, a wave of emotions floating through his eyes before he finally high-fived the red-head.

Then a van drove into the parking lot.

"Hey, it's my friends! You guys aren't going to tell Stan…right?" Wendy turned to the threesome.

"Nope," Mabel said with a grin.

Dipper mimed locking his mouth and throwing away the key.

"You can trust us," Matthew said with a casual smile.

"Thanks! Later dorks!" She jumped on top of a pine tree and rode it down. Then she disappeared into the van.

"'Bye, Wendy!" Dipper said enthusiastically. "Ah, good times…"

"Uh, oh!" Mabel said.

"Uh, oh is right," Matthew said slyly, bobbing his eyebrows up and down.

"What? I-I just think Wendy is cool! I don't love her…or anything!" Dipper said laughing nervously.

"Mmm, we didn't say anything about Wendy, or love for that matter," Matthew said, his smirk broadening.

Dipper's face heated up. "Ah! Look at the time! I gotta take a bath! Later!" Dipper gave his siblings two thumbs up while walking backwards, only to fall through the trap door screaming.

"I'm okay!"

Matthew and Mabel exchanged a look before snickering.

"Oh, he has it good," Matthew said.

"Really good!" Mabel added.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

"Random dance party for no reason!" Mabel exclaimed as she turned the radio on. Matthew grabbed his sister by the waist and put her on his shoulders causing her to laugh while Wendy called, "Go, go, go!"

"Hey, Dipper!" Matthew said. "Why don't you stop pretending to write stuff and come join us?"

Dipper yelped, almost dropping his clipboard before chuckled nervously. "You know me, Matt. I'm not really a dancer…"

"Yeah you are! Mom made you do the Lamby, Lamby, Dance!" Mabel giggled.

"Now isn't the time to talk about the Lamby, Lamby Dance!" Dipper cried.

"Whoa! Really?" Wendy laughed.

"I had to do something like that too," Matthew said, catching the embarrassed and horrified look on his brother's face.

"Oh yeah!" Mabel said. "The Whinny the Pooh dance! Mom made the choreography and song lyrics herself!"

"Yeah, had to dress in a Whinny the Pooh costume and dance around like an idiot," Mathew said. "When I was a newborn that was my first Halloween costume, Mom loved it so much she made it tradition for me to dance in it every year on October 31, sewed me up a new one to fit my height."

Matthew smiled fondly at the memory. "I pretended not to like it in front of Dad and Grandpa Sherman. But believe it or not, I like the tradition, I wear it every year for Halloween, I mean, yeah, I had low rep at school for that but seriously, who gives a damn? You know? Every year, I always tell her how much I like it. It's the only reason she kept sewing it."

"Ha! I can't imagine in you in that!" Wendy said.

"Now you can!" Mabel said, showing a twelve-year-old Matthew in a Whinny the Pooh costume. The two girls laughed.

"Aw, you're so cute!" Wendy snickered.

Matthew smirked "I'm a cold-blooded monster, thank you very much."

Matthew then looked over at Dipper who was currently giving him a thankful smile. Matthew gave him one of those, I got your back winks and Dipper's smile broadened.

The clock then chimed.

"Well, time to quit!" Wendy said cheerfully. "I'm going to go hand out with my friends, later dudes!"

"Wait, Wendy!" Dipper called. The teen turned. "Uh, why don't I—or us—come with you?"

"I dunno…my friends are sort of intense, Matt may be able to handle it but—how old were you and Mabel again?" Wendy asked.

"Thirteen!" Dipper said quickly. "Technically, a teen."

"I like your moxie, kid!" Wendy smiled. "Okay,"

Dipper pumped his fist victoriously and Matthew quirked and eyebrow at him. "Why'd you lie about your age?"

"Well, it's, you know, my chance to hang out with the cool kids!" Dipper said.

"Me and Mabes think you're cool, don't we Mabel?"

"Yup! We also think you're lovesick! Lovesick, lovesick, LOVESICK!"

Matthew face-palmed. That wasn't going to help.

"Hey! What's over there?" Dipper asked pointing at the distance.

"Huh?" Mabel said turning.

Dipper tossed Mabel's hair in her face and she began to splutter.

"Mabel, what did I tell you about the "Hey Look" trick? Don't be fooled!" Matthew said.

"Sorry—blah! Blah—Matt!" Mabel spluttered.

The three of them walked out just in time to see Wendy toss a ball into a boy's stomach.

"Wendy!" The group of teens said in unison.

"Sup dudes?" Wendy said. "These are my pals from work, Matthew and his younger siblings Dipper and Mabel."

"Sup, your fly's down by the way," Matthew nodded at the boy as he cried out and quickly zipped his pants, everyone, except for the Pines and the girl who appeared to be texting laughing.

"I chewed my gum up so it looks like a brain!" Mabel said, sticking her tongue out, showcasing the wad of gum.

"How long was it in your mouth for this time?" Matthew asked.

"Twelve hours!"

"Ha! New record!"

"Hooray!"

"Well," Dipper said. "My siblings aren't the best with first impression, unlike, this guy!"

Everyone stared at him blankly.

"This, guy…" Dipper mumbled, his face sweaty.

"So, you're babysitting the two kids, I can see that, but what about him?" The pale teen, who Matthew recognized as Bleeding Heart.

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Come on Robbie. I'm not babysitting. Anyway, guys, this is Nate and Lee, Tambry, Thompson who once ate a runover waffle for fifty cents…"

"Hey don't tell them that!"

"…And Robbie, bet you can figure him out."

"Yeah," Robbie smirked. "I sprayed the water tower."

"That muffin you mean?" Dipper asked.

"It's an explosion!" Robbie said as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Kind of does look like a muffin," Lee snorted.

Robbie sent Dipper a vicious glare. Matthew frowned at Robbie before an idea formed, he then smirked.

"I can probably fix it up," Matthew said, stuffing his hand into his jean pocket and willing a blue spray-paint bottle into existence.

Matthew then walked over to the tree nearest the water tower and climbed it, spraying his design on.

"There we go!" Mathew said climbing down. "Now it's a cupcake! A sweet explosion of taste!"

Everyone except for Robbie roared in laughter while Robbie's murderous glare switched to Matthew.

"One thing you should know about me, pal," Matthew said in a low voice as he walked towards the glaring teen. "You mess with my siblings again, and something worse will happen to you, much worse than a little embarrassment."

Matthew didn't think it possible, but apparently, it was, Robbie paled. "Th-that a threat, Pretty Boy?" He asked trying to sound brave.

"Yes," Matthew said. "Yes, it was."

Robbie gulped as him and his siblings went into the back and sat down.

"Okay, guys? Before we go, my mom said not to punch the car roof anymore…so," Thompson said, only for his friends to do the exact same thing he told them not to.

He sighed sadly and began to drive. Matthew felt a tad bad for him.

Mabel took a marker and crossed out the words YOU STINK! And replaced it with, you look nice today!

"Mabel, please!" Dipper hissed.

"What?" Mabel asked. "Upset I'll embarrass you in front of your girlfriend—!" Dipper slapped his hand on Mabel's mouth and cringed. "Did you just lick my hand?"

Matthew smiled at the twins' antics and a thought occurred to him…didn't he leave the TV on that boring black and white channel?

Stan will be fine. He told himself.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

"There it is, guys. The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn!" Wendy said with a grin.

"Whoa!" Most of the teenagers said.

Matthew had no idea what as so cool about an abandoned convenient store…all though it looked a bit familiar…

"Why was it shut down?" Dipper asked nervously. "Health code violation or…"

"Talk about murder!" Nate said.

"Some folks died in there, it's been haunted ever since," Lee added.

Dipper looked even more nervous. Okay, really, why does this sound so familiar?

"You guys serious?" Dipper murmured.

"Yeah! We're all going to die!" Wendy mocked.

"There's nothing wrong with being apprehensive," Matthew said in defense of Dipper. "I mean, this place has some supernatural aura around it, I can feel it."

"Ha! Now Pretty Boy can sense stuff!" Robbie sneered.

"At least I don't wear eye-shadow," Matthew snapped.

"Hey! It's eye-makeup!"

"What do you think eye-shadow is, doofus?"

"Okay guys, knock it off," Wendy said as she climbed the fence. The other teens followed.

"Dipper, come on!" Wendy called once she was on the other side.

"Hold on, just let me get a foothold…" Dipper said, holding on to the fence in a white-knuckled grip.

"Dude! Your sister did it!" Robbie said pointing to Mabel who was doing—something.

"You know what? Here," Lee said grabbing Dipper and throwing him off. Matthew lunged forward and caught his brother.

"Thanks," he mumbled, slightly embarrassed.

"No problem," Matthew said placing him down, then giving Lee a warning scowl.

"Nice going throwing Matthew's brother, genius," Nate said.

"Your mom's a genius," Lee replied.

"This place is awesome!" Wendy said, pressing her face to the glass.

Robbie tried the door but it was stuck. "Ugh, it won't open," Robbie grumbled.

"Let me try," Dipper said.

"Ha! Yeah right! I can't do it but—," Robbie stopped wisecracking when he caught the warning glare Matthew shot him.

"Tone it down, will you Robbie? He's just a little kid!" Wendy said.

Dipper frowned, his ego obviously bruised from being called "little kid". The gears in his head started turning until Matthew stepped forward.

"Out of the way," he said. "I'll open them."

Robbie snickered. "Oh look! He's going to use his Pretty Boy Powers!"

"Actually, yeah, I am," Matthew said with a smirk. He held his hand out and the doors rattled. The teens gasped and Mabel squealed in anticipation.

After a bit of crunching and grinding, the doors creaked open.

"Whoa!" Lee exclaimed. "What are you? Some psychic?"

"I guess you can call me that," Matthew said with a smug smile.

"Matt can do all sorts of things! He can make blue flames and things appear out of nowhere!" Mabel said proudly.

"No way!" Nate said.

Matthew smiled, enjoying the attention. He made a top hat appear and took three things out of it. A stuffed rabbit, stuffed bear, and a stuffed unicorn, which he handed to Mabel. The other two he gave to the awe-struck Wendy and Tambry.

"Dude! You've been holding back on me!" Wendy said playfully punching Matthew's arm.

He rose an eyebrow. "Like you and the roof?"

Wendy rolled her eyes and everyone else walked in.

"Good call inviting this guy!" Nate said.

"Mr. Mad Hatter!" Lee said.

"Cool, dude," Thompson said.

Matthew smiled then turned back to his brother and his smile faded when he saw the scowl on his face.

"Dipper?"

"I had it great all on my own, I was going to open the door. You didn't have to steal all the glory!" Dipper said in annoyance.

"Steal all the—Dipper…"

The pre-teen walked by him without another word.

Matthew sighed and let the door close.

"Whoa, this place is creepier than I thought!" Wendy said.

"Not to worry," Matthew said throwing his top hat in the air and catching it with the tip of a cane he made appear out of nowhere. "I like protecting ladies."

"Ha! You must not be talking to me," Wendy said with a smirk.

"I wasn't," Matthew admitted. "I was talking to Thompson."

Thompson whined indignantly while the teens laughed.

"Oh! Check it out! You think these still work?" Wendy asked flicking a bunch of switches. The store came to life immediately.

"Whoa!" Dipper said with a grin, his previous anger forgotten. "What do we do now?"

"Anything we want," Wendy said with a grin.

Everyone instantly grabbed a bunch of products off the shelf and threw it around, Matthew put Dipper on his shoulder and took a bag of cookies.

"Here," he said. Dipper grinned and shot the cookies at an unsuspecting Lee and Nate the two boys laughed but stopped when a projectile hit them both in the side of the face. Matthew then turned and slipped on something, him and his brother falling with an "oomph!"

"Ha! Girl's rule!" Mabel said from on top Wendy's shoulder, they high-fived.

Matthew grabbed a large bottle of soda and shook it before releasing the liquid on them, causing them to scream. "Retreat!"

"No, girls drool!" Matthew said with a grin, high-fiving Dipper.

"Ha! That gives me an idea!" Lee said taking another bottle of soda and popping three mints inside. The soda shot into the air and everyone cheered.

"It tastes expired! But it still tastes awesome!" Mabel said with her tongue sticking out.

"And distraction!" Nate said taking the soda and spraying it on everyone.

Mabel ran into one isle then gasped in delight. "Smile Dip! I thought this was band in America!"

"For good reason, probably," Dipper said with a frown.

"Yeah, Mabes, that looks…shady," Matthew said.

"How is it shady? It's pink! And it has puppies all over it!" Mabel objected.

"Mabel—!"

Mabel gave her brother the "You Just Killed a Puppy Shame on you" eyes.

"Argh, fine!" Matthew exclaimed as Dipper was hit and returned into the action. "Just, use the stick at least, and you can only have one, okay?"

"Promise!" Mabel said, Matthew missing the fact that his sister's fingers were crossed behind her back.

And with that, Matthew returned to the game.

"Thompson!" He heard Wendy cry as she and Dipper ate popsicles on top of a shelf.

Matthew smiled at that. Go, Dipping Sauce.

The blonde caught his breath against the side of a freezer and then saw Dipper running towards him.

"Going well with Wendy so far?" Matthew asked.

Dipper blushed slightly. "Er, yeah, I guess. Hey, Matt?"

"Uh, huh?"

"Do you…think that me and Wendy really have a chance?"

"Sure! I once met a couple who were ten years apart from each other! Ha! But it worked out for them. You're Dipper Pines. Anything can work out for you, it's just three years' difference; nothing too drastic," Matthew said with a smile. "I'll support you one-hundred percent of the way, bro."

Dipper smiled. "Thanks," he then went to the front to open the freezer, and screamed.

Matthew was by his side instantly, watching Dipper slam the door shut and pant for breath.

"Dipper? What happened?" Matthew asked worriedly.

"I-I saw—!"

"What's going on?" Lee asked walking towards the two brothers with everyone minus Mabel in tow. "I though I heard a lady scream."

"You freaking out kid?" Nate asked with a smirk.

"No, he isn't," Matthew said sharply. "The ice was just seriously cold in his hands and he wasn't expecting it. Right, Dipper?"

"What? Oh! Oh, yeah! Yup, that's what, uh, happened, ha, ha!" Dipper grinned nervously.

The teens didn't seem too convinced.

"Oh look!" Dipper said quickly. "It's Dancy Pants Revolution! The game that tricks people into exercise!"

The group murmured in excitement and walked off.

"Yeah, yeah, let's go play that…" Dipper mumbled,

"What did you see?" Matthew asked in a low voice

"It was some sort of…brain thing," Dipper shuddered.

"Well it's gone now, and it wont be able to touch you with that ankle bracelet."

"Ankle—?" Dipper cringed. "I-I lost it…"

"What? When?" Matthew demanded.

"I, uh, took it off…sorry."

"Um, it's alright, I'll just make you a new one," Matthew said with a sigh.

"Wait, you? Mabel said she made it," Dipper said.

"I did, to protect you. Since you didn't trust me though I needed to give it to Mabel," Matthew said.

Dipper couldn't help but feel flattered by that. Even when he didn't trust Matthew, he still wanted to keep him safe. He still couldn't comprehend how he had confused his big brother to a crazy dream demon.

"Hey guys! I found something!" Robbie called. Everyone walked over to where Robbie was.

"Whoa!" Wendy said crossing her arms.

"Dude," Lee said. "Dare you to lie down in it!"

Nate grinned and walked over to the drawings.

"Wait!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Are you getting scared, kid?" Nate asked.

"No! I'm just saying, let's not tempt the fates, what if this place really is…haunted?"

Everyone except Matthew booed.

"Tone it down Captain Buzzkill!" Robbie snapped.

"Why don't you tone it down Mr. Skinny Jeans?" Matthew growled. "And didn't I tell you not to get snaky with my brother?"

"Psh, you aren't the boss of me," Robbie said.

"You really shouldn't go being rude to people who have more power and knowledge than you can ever dream of," Matthew hissed, his palm flaming.

Robbie gulped.

"Now, I'll tell you this one last time; you get snarky with my siblings again…" As Matthew, advanced, he stepped in the drawing of the dead bodies and they glowed green.

Matthew tensed as the magic in the room intensified, cursing his carelessness.

He then turned when he heard Tambry scream, her phone along with the bunny that was tucked under her arm crashed to the ground. She the re-appeared in a camera monitor, screaming.

"Tambry!" Wendy cried.

"Can you hear us?" Dipper called.

Either Tambry couldn't hear or was too panicked to answer.

"Come on! Let's get out of here!" Robbie exclaimed.

"You're just going to leave your friend?" Matthew demanded.

"It's every man for himself!" Robbie said, running towards the door.

"Thompson!" Wendy called.

"Hold on! I almost got the high-score!" Thompson said, but he too disappeared, and re-appeared inside the video game.

"Time to shake what your mamma gave you!" The game said as it pummeled Thompson with arrows.

"No! Too many arrows!"

"You're a dance machine!"

"No, you're a dance machine!" Thompson sobbed in a fetal position.

"It's locked!" Wendy said, trying the doors.

"Out of the way!" Robbie tossed the cash register at the door but it exploded in green light, behind him, Matthew saw a bright pink light illuminate the area.

That could only mean one thing, Mabel's unicorn hair had activated.

Dipper and Matthew ran towards their sister. There seemed to be an invisible force pushing against the barrier the unicorn hair in her necklace created and she was lying unconscious inside of it, gurgling Smile Dip out of her mouth and saying something along the lines of "the future is in the past".

Matthew made a mental note to chastise Mabel, not for breaking her promise, that was a good skill in his opinion, but for not using her brain and eating more than she could handle.

"Alright, who's there?" Matthew demanded.

The barrier around Mabel disappeared as whatever was trying to touch her had left. The being, presumably ghost, picked up a shelf and threw it at him.

Matthew cried out and shoved Dipper to the floor, the shelf hitting Robbie who crumpled to the floor (no complaints there).

Then Robbie started floating, and his eyes opened, revealing no pupils.

"Welcome young trespassers, to your grave for all eternity," he said in a deep voice.

"We're sorry for being in your store!" Wendy said as she and the remaining two teens watched their other friend possessed by a ghost.

"Yeah, can we leave and never come back?" Dipper asked.

"Well, okay. But eat some hot-dogs! They're half off!" The ghost said floating next to the said hotdogs.

The doors opened and Lee and Nate dashed for it. They slammed shut again, though.

"Just kidding!" The ghost barked.

"Let us go!" Nate exclaimed.

"I DON'T LIKE YOU ATTITUDE!" It screeched and Nate disappeared.

"I'm a hotdog!" Nate screamed from inside the toaster oven.

"Wh-what do you want?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah, I bet the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings!" Lee said.

"I DON'T LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE EITHER!" The ghost said as Lee disappeared too.

He reappeared in a cereal a box, while the box art said, "I'm bonkers for eating you alive!"

"No!"

"And so, it begins…" The ghost said, making things float, along with Dipper and Wendy. The unicorn hair on Matthew's neck glowed brightly, blocking him from the magic. He quickly grabbed Dipper's wrist, and then Wendy's stopping them from hitting the ceiling.

"Dude, look out!" Wendy cried as a slushy maker went right for him. Matthew managed to kick it out of his path.

"Stop it!" Matthew snapped. "If you hurt my brother I'm going to kill you—AGAIN!"

The ghost turned to him. "Wait a moment…I KNOW THAT VOICE!"

Everything stopped floating and Dipper and Wendy crashed, grunting at the impact.

"You're the demon that killed me! Bill Cipher!" The ghost pointed Robbie's finger at him accusingly.

"What? Demon? Bill Cipher?" Wendy said, confusion on her face.

"Let me guess," Dipper said looking at his brother. "Another one of you unhappy clients?"

Matthew narrowed his eyes then blinked twice in surprise. "Oh yeah! You're that dude that wanted teenagers gone!"

"And you gave me and my wife heart-attacks instead!" He growled.

Wendy looked even more confused.

Matthew shrugged. "What you wanted was so nonsensical and stupid that I couldn't do it. I'd have to rewrite the laws of the universe and even I can't do that, at least I couldn't in the nightmare realm. You wanted them gone, so I relived you two!"

The ghost growled. "You no-good—ARGH!"

Matthew prepared for the ghost to attack him, but instead Dipper was lifted into the air. "Matt! Matt, help me!"

Matthew quickly ripped the unicorn hair from his neck and shoved it in Dipper's hand. There was an explosion of pink light as the ghost was shot away, screaming in surprise and rage.

Dipper crashed against his brother's chest and Matthew tied it around his wrist securely. "Don't take this off no matter what."

"But, but what about you and Wendy?" Dipper asked worriedly.

"We'll be fine, right Wendy?"

The red-head looked uncertain. "Um, I dunno, I guess."

"CURSE YOU TEENAGERS AND YOUR MAGIC TRICKS!" The ghost roared. Both Wendy and Matthew flew into the air and where tossed around along with a tornado of objects.

Matthew quickly racked his mind, trying to think of something to stop the ghost…right, he remembered fifty-thousand years ago, when he chatted with a Japanese monk about a chant for spiritual removals—

"Hey, ghost!" Dipper called, cancelling all of Matthew's musings.

Dipper! What are you doing! Matthew wanted to scream, but he could already see the gears in Dipper's head turning.

"Eh?" The ghost said.

"I'm not a teenager!" He said loudly.

The ghost dropped Matthew and Wendy, followed by a bunch of items. Matthew had to shove her out of the way of a falling freezer.

Looking up, Matthew saw the ghosts of two old people holding Robbie. "Why didn't you just say so?" the ghost with the name-tag, "Pa" said.

"How old are you, dear?" The ghost with the name-tag "Ma" said.

"Twelve," Dipper mumbled.

"When we where alive teenagers where horrible; with their short pants and boom-boxes!" Pa said.

"So, we band them! But they retaliated with rap music!" Ma shuddered. "Then Bill came along, and promised to solve our problems!"

"And then he killed us!" Pa growled, glaring at Matthew.

"You two know you where once teenagers too, right?" Matthew asked.

"SILENCE!" Pa exclaimed, turning fiery and red.

"You see? Therefore, we hate teens! Right pumpkin?" The two rubbed noses and the three kids cringed.

"But, they're my friends, can't you let them go?" Dipper asked.

"Well…do you know any funny songs or dances?" Pa asked.

"Is there something else—?"

"NO!"

"Um…there's the Lamby, Lamby dance, but I don't have the costume so I can't do it!" Dipper said.

Pa snapped his fingers and he was in a costume.

"Oh! Great…"

Dipper took in a deep breath and began to dance.

"Well, who wants a lamby, lamby, lamby?

I do, I do!

So, go up and great your mommy, mommy, mommy,

Hi there! Hi there!

So, march, march, march around the daises!

Don't you forget about the babies!"

Dipper winked and smiled, though it looked more like a grimace.

"Great job girly dancing boy! You're all free to go! EVEN YOU, YOU MURDERER!" Pa said turning fiery again before he and his wife dissipated, the doors opened, and the lights turned on.

"Ugh!" Mabel said clutching her stomach.

"Mabel, I told you to eat one!" Matthew scolded.

"He wanted me to eat his candy paw though…" Mabel slurred.

"There's one more," Dipper said holding it up.

"EVIL!" Mabel said waking back up whacking it out of his hand.

"What happened?" Nate said.

"The ghosts tried to kill me an Wendy," Matthew said. "Dipper got pissed and beat them up with bats, then they started crying for their moms."

"Ah, ha!" Lee said. "Your new name is Dr. Funtimes!"

Matthew turned to his brother who was once again giving him a thankful smile. Like earlier, Matthew gave him a I got your back wink. Though this time, Dipper returned it.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

"So, you're like, a demon?" Wendy asked as they made it back to the van.

"Yeah, I used to be this douche named Bill Cipher—don't shake his hand, you'll regret it. He looks like a triangle with a top hat, just a warning," Matthew said.

"I think somebody wants to talk to you," He said nodding at Dipper who was fiddling nervously.

"Oh, yeah," Wendy smiled at Matthew. "You're pretty brave. We should hang out more often."

"I'd like that, you're a cool girl." Matthew grinned and went into the back where Mabel was still groaning.

"I hope you learned your lesson Mabes; no more Smile Dip."

"Not even in my dreams…" she mumbled.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

As the three walked back to the shack, the TV went crashing through the window.

"What the—?" Matthew said.

Stan poked his head out. "Uh, couldn't find the remote!"

"We don't even want to know the truth," Matthew muttered tiredly.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

AN: Here you go guys! Hope you enjoyed! I added the end credits scene because you know, it's hilarious in my opinion XD

Fantasy Freak OUT!