AN: AND WAZZUP!

It is I, The Female Fantasy Freak, up with another chapter! Woot, woot!

You guys are probably bored of me saying this but thankyou, thankyou, THANKYOU for all the support. It means a whole lot to me. And again, I'm happy that both my new readers and the old are enjoying this enough to follow, favorite, and/or review!

Thank you to Quiet Leaf for pointing out my "latter" and "ladder" mistake. I usually don't make that mistake so I don't know what happened. Thanks though!

And to answer the question of Cryptkeeper, I'm not sure if any of those ships will exist yet, some of my readers want me to go for romance, others are against it, but I must say I AM a serious Dipcifica shipper. When they hugged in Northwest Manor Mystery I was like "YES, DIPPER, YES! FELLOW SHIPPERS, LET US UNITE AND MAKE THIS A THING!" So, I'm still playing around with shipping, though I have a few ideas in mind. I will take suggestions, obviously, BillDip Mabill and BillFord are out because in this fic that'd be incest…and…yeah.

This chapter will start out as Dipper vs. Manliness did in canon, but will turn into my own thing as it progresses because this canon episode is basically filler.

Yeah, I guess you can argue and say that the Inconveniencing was filler too, but it at least established Dipper's crush on Wendy. Stan's crush on Susan didn't go anywhere and Dipper got chest hair just to get it plucked off by Mabel. I'm not saying it's a bad episode by any means, it's a Gravity Falls episode so it's still a crap ton of fun to watch!

So, without further ado, chapter fifteen!

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

Chapter Fifteen: Cookie

"He's in position!" Matthew hissed hoisting a water balloon over his head.

Dipper and Mabel smothered their giggles as the hid behind a bush with water balloons of their own, ready to toss them at Stratus Evergreen who was busy spying on the Mystery Shack, taking notes.

"Three…two…one…NOW!"

The trio tossed a barrage of water balloons at the unsuspecting man. He cried out in surprise, streaming curse words while he ran away, his notes all soaked.

"That was awesome!" Dipper cheered while his two siblings laughed.

Mabel then clutched her stomach and groaned. "Ugh, I'm hungry."

"Let's go tell Stan," Matthew suggested as they walked into the shack.

"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel said as they walked into the gift shop. "Can we go to the diner, we're hungry."

"Yeah, hungry," Dipper moaned holding his stomach and crashing it against Mabel's, they kept at it until Matthew fell on top of them and moaned too, causing them to cry out in surprise, then break out into a giggling fit.

"Yeah, sure," Stan said. "As soon as this yahoo makes up his mind."

Matthew got off the twins and turned around to see the familiar face of the future Gravity Falls mayor.

"Do you have this in another animal?" He asked, pointing at a fish.

"Do you have a preference?" Matthew asked Tyler Cutebiker.

"I like polar bears! No, actually I like panthers…no polar bears!" Tyler said cheerfully.

"Um…okay how about…" Matthew put his hands behind his back and made a plaque with a panther in white fur. "…This?" Matthew held up the slightly heavy item.

"Perfect!" Tyler said. "How much?"

"Five hundred!" Stan said cheerfully.

"Okay!" Tyler said, paying for the item and walking out.

Stan put a heavy hand on Matthew's shoulder, causing him to grunt in surprise.

"You have the makings of a true sales-man, kid," Stan said in a proud voice. Then he grinned. "I saw Evergreen running for his life, was that because of you kids?"

"Totally!" Mabel said proudly.

"Ha! Man, am I lucky to be related to you three! Now let's get into the car and drive to somewhere which would otherwise take a few minutes to walk to!"

Matthew gave Stan a tiny smile while the twins cheered.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

"Well, there's my ray of sunshine!" Stan said to the woman who came over. Matthew vaguely recognized her…wasn't she the human who said that things with one eye weren't cool after he shattered the rift? Look who's talking.

"Hi there!" The woman said cheerfully.

"You look great today? What happened to you?" Stan asked.

"I got hit by a bus!"

"Aha! That's great!"

"Thank you!"

Matthew smothered his laughter. Those two were seriously perfect for each other; both very awkward.

"Okay, so," Stan said. "I need some salad for the kids,"

"Alright!" The waitress left.

"Aww, Grunkle Stan I want pancakes!" Mabel said tugging on his sleeve.

"What am I? Made of money?" Stan demanded as a dollar bill slid up his sleeve. "Tap, tap," he said pushing it back down.

Mabel sighed sadly while Matthew made money appear in his pocket. "This enough for the pancakes?" He asked holding out the cash. Mabel instantly perked up. "Yay!"

"No need, brother, I'll win them for all of you!" Dipper said. "I'll just beat that manliness tester!"

"Ha!" Stan said. "Yeah right!" He and Mabel laughed.

"If Dipper can put his mind to it, I'm sure he can do it," Matthew said, giving his brother an encouraging smile, though he knew he was probably going to fail. When describing Dipper, for most, "manly" wouldn't be on the list.

"Yeah, no, I'll have to agree with Grunkle Stan," Mabel snickered. "Dipper isn't exactly Manly Mannington."

"I too am…Manly—whatever you said!" Dipper objected.

Stan and Mabel just laughed harder while Dipper sucked in some air and walked confidently to the Manliness Tester.

Everyone in the diner turned to stare at him as he cracked his knuckles. "Quit stalling!" Stan called.

Dipper squeezed the handle, and Matthew cringed when the meter went up, then went down to "wimp".

A card came out, though Matthew couldn't see what it was from where he was sitting.

"It's busted guys!" Dipper called. "Probably ancient—!"

He was cut off as Manly Dan shoved him aside. "It's broken, man," Dipper warned.

Manly Dan pushed the lever with his pinky and the machine exploded, pancakes raining everywhere. "Free pancakes for everyone!"

The whole diner cheered while Mabel and Stan went back to laughing.

Dipper mumbled something to himself before running out, tripping on a beaver, then running again—wait, a beaver?

"Yeesh, how am I related to that?" Stan demanded.

"You just said how proud you where a few minutes ago," Matthew reminded him.

"Yeah, and I change my mind."

"So, are we supposed to be mad that we're related to someone who is not-so-subtly flirting with a waitress?"

"Hey! I wasn't flirting!"

The waitress came back then. "Here's the food!" She said in her cheerful voice.

"Thanks sugar pot! I mean cute—baby cow…I mean honey wasp!" Stan said.

The waitress laughed. "Ha! Funny!" She said walking away. Mabel looked between the two and gasped.

"Wait a minute, you, and her…"

"No! It's not what it looks like!" Stan exclaimed.

"You have a thing for Lazy Susan!" Mabel laughed.

"N-no I don't!" Stan said.

"Um, Stan? It's kind of obvious," Matthew said with a smirk.

"Argh! Fine, I like her, but what do I do? She's so…classy!" Stan gestured to Susan who was busy hitting a machine.

"You two are seriously good for each other," Matthew commented. He wasn't too sure if in the original timeline, those two got together, they seriously should though in his opinion.

"You really think?" Stan asked in surprise.

"You're both socially awkward," Matthew shrugged.

"Should I be offended by that?"

"Depends on how you look at it."

"Touché."

"We are totally going to hook you up with her Grunkle Stan!" Mabel exclaimed cheerfully.

"Wait, wait, we? Who said anything about we?" Matthew demanded.

"You said so yourself, Matt! They're perfect for each other!" Mabel said.

"Yeah but— "

"We'll be an unstoppable team! The power of Mabel united with the power of Matthew Pines!" Mabel said pumping a fist.

Stan and Matthew exchanged an, oh boy look.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

"I think I should go find Dipper," Matthew said as the trio walked out of the diner.

"Oh, but Matt! We have to change Stan from a gross old man to a charming one!" Mabel said.

"I just…want to see if he's okay," Matthew said.

"You'll come back when you find him?" Mabel asked.

"No promises."

"I take that as a promise!"

Matthew sighed and walked off into town, after a bit of walking, he bumped into a woman.

"Sorry, uh, hey, did you see a kid wearing a pine tree hat?" Matthew asked her.

"Oh, yeah. He was saying something about a mailman and ran off crying," the woman responded with a shrug.

"In which direction?" Matthew asked.

"Woods," she said going back to her business.

"Thanks," Matthew called and he walked into the woods. Wow, Dipper must be feeling worse than I thought.

Matthew found his little brother trying, and failing, at doing sit ups while holding a tree branch. If Dipper was still Obnoxious Pine Tree than Matthew would have mocked him. But this was his little brother now, and though teasing him about a pre-teen crush was one thing, teasing him about the fact that he was in no way macho, could lead to some—distasteful events.

"Dipper?" Matthew called.

Dipper cried out in surprise and got up quickly. "Hey, Matt! Uh, what're you doing here?"

"Looking for you, doofus," Matthew said sitting down and leaning on a nearby pine tree. "You're not letting Stan and Mabes get to you, are you?"

Dipper sighed and sat next to his brother. "I can't help it! All my life I've always been the nerd, the freak, the outcast. It just makes it more real when people tell me I'm not manly."

"Dipper, being manly doesn't have to mean muscular and gruff," Matthew said putting an arm around Dipper's shoulders. "It could mean standing up for yourself and others against all odds or, doing things that lower your rep big time but doing it because it was the right thing. I mean two days ago, With the lamb costume? Ha! You think the shallow pricks in my school would dance and sing like that for their 'friends'? Never!"

Dipper looked up at his smiling brother. "That's what I like about you, Dipper. I mean sure, there are times where you're unsure of yourself, but, when the people you love are at peril, it's almost like you're this entirely different person. What you don't have in muscles you make up for in heart…not many people can say that. And believe it or not, heart is one of things that makes up a man, not just being buff."

Dipper smiled. "Thanks…I needed to hear that."

"I know you did," Matthew said ruffling his brother's hair. "Anyway, Mabel's going to try and make Stan a charming old man."

"Ha! That I gotta see!"

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

The two brothers walked in just as Mabel was saying, "…I'm going to be judging you on a score from one to ten!"

They looked to see Stan walking up to Soos who was dressed like a woman and asking, "Can I barrow some money?"

Mabel blew a whistle loudly and sighed. "We have a long way to go."

"You watching this?" Matthew asked Wendy as he leaned against the counter.

"Eh, anything to get off work," She said with a shrug.

"I need a razor!" Mabel cried. "Does anyone have a razor?"

"First we need to restock!" Stan said, casing Wendy to groan and Soos to cheer, "Yes! I love restocking!"

"You love anything to do with the shack, Soos," Matthew said.

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that," Soos said good-naturedly and walked off with the rest of the teens to the storage room.

"Okay, these are the usual stuff so you all know where everything goes. Meanwhile, Mabel's going to shave my excessively hairy chest!" Stan said.

"I have a long journey ahead of me…" Mabel said seriously and trotted off with Stan.

"Ha! Check this out!" Matthew said pulling out a full Mardi Gras mask and putting it on his face. "I shall eat your soul!" he said in a French accent

"Not if I have anything to zay about it!" Wendy said in the same accent, pulling out a fake sword.

"Nor, I!" Dipper said pulling out another fake sword and copying Wendy and Matthew's accent.

"Ha! Bring it!" Matthew said taking another sword, the three began play sword fighting while Soos nervously stood in a corner.

"Uh, dudes? Shouldn't we be working?" Soos asked.

"Lighten up pal," Matthew said.

"Ha! Distracted!" Dipper said tripping Matthew with his sword, causing the blonde to stagger. Wendy jabbed her sword in Matthew's chest causing him to fall backwards completely and crash into a bunch of boxes, the mask sliding off his face. Soos yelped and covered his face at the possibility of broken merchandise while the other three laughed.

"High five, man!" Wendy said to Dipper, holding out her hand. Dipper grinned and high-fived her, a faint blush creeping across his cheeks.

"Oh, look. A porcelain doll," Matthew said holding up a doll with long black hair and green eyes.

Dipper screamed and jumped backwards into even more boxes.

"Something wrong, little dude?" Soos asked Dipper worriedly.

"Oh! N-nothing's wrong! What makes you say that? Just…keep that thing far, far, far away from me," Dipper responded, eyeing the doll warily.

"Dude, you afraid of dolls?" Wendy asked, her eyebrows raised.

"What! No, I'm just, uneasy around them," Dipper mumbled.

"He's feared dolls ever since watching that horror movie he wasn't supposed to when he was eight!" Mabel said poking her head into the storage room.

"Mabel!" Dipper cried.

"Didn't want me to say that? Sorry, bro-bro! Anyway, I made mac and cheese for everybody!" Mabel said poking her head back out.

"Mac and cheese! Yes!" Soos cheered as he and Dipper who was too eager to get away from the doll, followed.

"You coming?" Wendy asked Matthew who was looking at the doll with narrowed eyes.

"What? Oh, yeah," Matthew muttered. He barely heard when Wendy left, he was busy staring at the doll. The thing made him feel uneasy…but good too.

"Well," Matthew said, getting up and searching the boxes. "You probably aren't going to the gift shop. Display case it is."

He placed the doll down and searched for a display case, feeling as if the doll was watching him.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

"Well then!" Stan said, flicking the switch to one of his exhibits. "This actually looks nice! Obviously, this means Dipper didn't help."

"I helped!" Dipper exclaimed indignantly.

"Yeah, sure, you did."

Dipper scowled.

"Well, this is actually really crea—wait, when did I order that?" Stan asked pointing to the doll in the display case.

"I found it in one of the boxes," Matthew said. "Didn't you order it for the exhibit?"

"Uh…no," Stan said with narrowed eyes. "It's old looking, very creepy, and it's perfect! Let's see…The Haunted Doll! People will eat that up! Ha!"

The doll's green eyes slowly averted and locked with Matthew's blue ones. Apparently, Dipper so it too because he paled considerably.

"It's going to stay in there…right?" Dipper mumbled.

"Sure," Stan said with a shrug and continued walking.

"You two look pale. Are you alright?" Mabel asked her brothers.

"Yes," They both said.

Both where lying, as they could still feel the doll's eyes on their backs.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

Mabel woke up along with her two brothers as cheerful as always. "I think I've made serious head-way with Grunkle Stan's relationship with Susan!" Mabel said happily. "Oh! Speak of the devil! Hey Grunkle Stan!"

Stan, like Dipper, had dark bags under his eyes and looked extremely grumpy as he sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee. He only grunted his good-morning.

"Wow, did you sleep?" Dipper asked yawning slightly and sitting down.

"Psh, no! There was this obnoxious banging all night! How did you kids sleep through it?" Stan demanded jugging the coffee down his throat.

"I didn't hear anything," Matthew said. The twins nodded in agreement.

"Maybe it was just the pipes," Mabel suggested.

"Then why aren't they banging now?" Stan asked. "Also, I'm sure pipes don't ruin exhibits! The whole place was in shambles when I woke up!"

"I'm getting really curious-y," Mabel muttered with narrowed eyes.

"So am I," Dipper said.

"Sounds like a job for the Mysterious Three?" Matthew asked. Mabel cheered and Dipper cringed. "Matt! Don't call us that!"

"Why not? It's cool!" Mabel said.

"No, it's not."

"Is too!"

"Is not."

"Is too!"

"Is not," Dipper crabbed.

"Is not!" Mabel said.

"Is too," Dipper said.

"Ah ha! I knew you thought it was cool!" Mabel said cheerfully while Dipper groaned at falling into that trap.

"Dipper! That was Kindergarten a trick! How'd you fall for it?" Matthew demanded.

"She's very good at that stuff!" Dipper complained.

"Good job, Mabes," Matthew said ruffling Mabel's hair, causing the girl to grin.

"Grunkle Stan, I'm afraid we need to postpone your charming class," Mabel said. "We have a case to crack!"

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

"Okay, Mabel," Dipper said slipping on gloves, currently in leader mode. "Find any finger prints?"

"Nope!" Mabel said tossing flour on all the broken exhibits and blowing it off.

"Matt, any clues?" Dipper asked.

"None so far," Matthew said looking through a magnifying glass.

"Huh, this is strange. No fingerprints, no footprints, no hair…" Dipper tapped his chin while opening up a fallen cabinet and screaming in surprise.

"Dipper?" Mabel and Matthew said in unison, walking to their brother. Inside was the doll from the display case, leaning innocently against the inside of the cabinet.

"Wasn't she in a display case?" Mabel asked with a frown.

"Yeah, she was," Matthew said slowly, Dipper gulped.

"No worries!" Mabel said cheerfully. "We'll just put her back!"

Matthew turned to leave with his siblings, but then stopped when he saw a scrap of paper. Matthew squinted at it and picked it up. In messy childlike handwriting, the note read, COOKIE KNOWS.

"Cookie knows?" Matthew read outload.

"Matt? Did you find something?"

Matthew screamed and spun around, but it was only Dipper.

"Oh, yeah, this note," Matthew handed it to the boy frowned. "'Cookie?' Who's 'Cookie?'"

"I don't know," Matthew said.

"Do you think it's the person who did this?" Dipper asked.

"WAZZUP!"

Matthew and Dipper screamed while Mabel laughed, she was still holding the doll. "Whoever they were, probably left this!" Mabel held up a red rime-stone.

"Where have I seen this?" Matthew muttered.

"Kids!" Stan called from the living room. "I need you to clean the bathrooms! They're filthy!"

The trio cringed.

"Ugh, really?" Dipper moaned.

"Really," Matthew sighed while Mabel placed the doll gently on top of broken stand. "We'll figure out who 'Cookie' is soon, brothers! For now, our aid is needed, IN THE BATHROOMS!"

"Yay," Matthew and Dipper grumbled sarcastically.

There were times when hard work could be fun.

Cleaning the bathroom was not one of them.

"Yeah, Stan must've had diarrhea or something," Matthew muttered as he plunged the toilet.

"How much hair does he have?" Dipper demanded, washing chest hair into the shower drain.

"A lot, trust me," Mabel said washing the mirrors.

"You guys want lemonade? I can get some," Matthew said.

"That would be appreciated," Dipper commented.

"Very!" Mabel said.

Matthew was walked to the kitchen and frowned when he saw the doll sitting on the counter, seemingly staring at him with her eerie green eyes.

"Uh, Stan?" Matthew called turning around.

"Uh huh?"

"Did you—?" Matthew turned around and he felt goosebumps prickle is arms, not because of what was there, but because of what wasn't. In that case, it was the doll.

"Never mind," Matthew said and went into the fridge to retrieve the lemonade he had made the previous day. He poured three glasses before putting them on a tray. He then walked upstairs to where Mabel and Dipper where currently having a spray bottle war. Matthew smiled at that before announcing, "Drinks are here."

"Oh, finally! You took five hours!" Mabel said wiping her wet hair from her eyes.

"Mabel, it was less than five minutes," Dipper said, amusement in his voice.

"Hey, for me it's five hours!" Mabel said snatching the glass and greedily chugging it down her throat.

Dipper and Matthew took a glass too. The teen was about to sip the lemonade when he heard a glass shatter and the unmistakable sound of Mabel gagging.

"Mabel?!" Dipper cried out, as the two boys saw their sister clutching her throat while gasping for breath.

"Mabel!" Matthew screamed, he carelessly dropped his glass and caught his sister as she collapsed, cutting his legs on broken shards in the process but not caring less.

"Mabel!" Dipper exclaimed as his brother shook the brunette.

Mabel began spluttering incoherently while broth foamed at the side of her mouth. Matthew quickly racked his brain for something useful in the situation. He quickly delivered a few compressions to Mabel's chest before pinching her nose and giving her air through her mouth.

"Worst. Lemonade. Ever," Mabel wheezed before fainting.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

"I used to think that when a lady faints it's romantic…but it sucks," Mabel murmured from her hospital bed. "And I mean really sucks."

"Are you allergic to lemons, or something?" Dipper asked from beside her.

"I like lemon custard pie so I don't think so," Mabel said.

"Yeesh, you, kids and your near-death experiences," Stan grumbled. "If I told your parents how many times you three almost died they'd have me arrested."

"I'm fine, though," Mabel said. "Very dizzy, but fine."

Matthew hadn't said a word. Something was really bugging him, and he had a feeling he should know what it was.

He stayed silent all the way back to the shack as well. He was kind of apprehensive about leaving Mabel alone, but he decided there where nurses were there and shouldn't worry too much.

"Cookie," Matthew muttered, staring at the childish handwriting on the piece of paper as the street lamps went by.

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

"Are you mad? What were you trying to do?"

"I was having fun!"

"We need them!"

"But what if they ruin everything? We can only see up to our plans! Everything else is covered in shadow, what if—?"

"We worry about that later! What we need is them, no. more. Murder attempts!"

"Fine…"

…A-X-O-L-O-T-L…

AN: And there you have it! It was going to be longer but I didn't update in like three days, and it's late…so.

Hope you enjoyed!

Fantasy Freak OUT!