Willow sat on the park bench, her mind whirling with thoughts of her baby, his death, the switch that Aaron's bitch of a mother initiated with Brad Cooper. The pain that tore through her each time she remembered that the child she was protecting wasn't hers, that her true child was buried beneath a grave stone, bearing the name Wiley Cooper-Jones instead of Jonah Corinthos was intolerable. Even with the support of Chase, Michael, Sasha, and Nina, getting up in the morning was so agonizing that it stole away her breath each time.

She couldn't cope. She put on a brave face for the rest of the world, but it didn't help make her feel less empty. Everyone in Port Charles knew that the Quartermaine heir was still alive, and while they rejoiced over that, she had to suffer with the terrible knowledge that her son wasn't breathing and hadn't been breathing since July 29th, 2018.

Tightening her fists into the fabric of the coat she was wearing as she sat in the chilly weather, Willow wondered how she had become so bitter. She would never wish for any child to be lost to their parent, especially not someone as close a friend to her as Michael, so why did it seem as though she'd rather her son be alive and no one else's?

'You should be angry,' that damned maternal side of her reared its ugly head again. 'Your baby was taken from you in the worst way possible. Why should you have to hide your feelings when no one else does?'

For once the rational and sad sides of herself stayed quiet. It was as if they agreed with Maternal Willow by not scolding her, and the real Willow just didn't have the strength to fight against that voice that seemed to scream louder than all the ones in her head.

Willow's attention was diverted when she heard the sound of a cup falling to the ground, quickly followed by a splash. Turning her head, she saw a little boy who couldn't have been less than ten stand over a puddle of brown liquid.

"My hot chocolate!" The boy whined, disappointment crossing his sweet little face.

Before she could even think, Willow rose from the bench and hurried over to the child. "Hey, it's okay," Willow cooed softly as she knelt beside the little boy, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, sweetheart. Why don't we get you another one?"

Instantly the boy's father appeared. "Hey, what's going on?" He asked.

"I think he just dropped it," Willow said, picking up the fallen cup after a moment of hesitation.

"Yeah, I saw," the father replied, smiling politely at the woman, but it was clear by his attitude that he wanted his son as far away from her as possible. "Thanks for, umm…"

The father then took his son's hand. "Come on, Caleb." Then they were gone.

Willow watched them go, embarrassment and shame coloring her face as she thought about how insane she seemed.

'Stupid,' she thought, standing there with the empty cup in her hands.

She had just humiliated herself in front of a little boy and his father and for what reason? Because she missed her own? That wasn't good enough. Nothing she ever seemed to do was good enough.

"Willow?"

Almost robotically, Willow turned to see who had called out to her, finding Chase standing there, staring at her with concerned eyes. "Hey, you okay?"

Silently, Willow shook her head, reaching out to pull him to her. Her body pressed against his, desperately needing comfort. Her boyfriend reciprocated the embrace, holding her just as close.

After a few minutes, Willow pulled away. "I'm sorry," her voice was small as she looked into his eyes. "I thought that we could meet for hot chocolate, watch the skaters...I did not mean to ruin it."

Chase shook his head. "Don't apologize. Being here for you actually makes me feel useful," he said.

"No, no," Willow protested. "I am so embarrassed!"

"Why? Because you got a little upset?"

"No, because I watched a little boy drop his hot chocolate and swooped in to make it all better."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I must have looked like a crazy person. The crying lady at the park? Even I would run away from me if I could," Willow wrapped her arms around herself as she walked a little away from Chase, her mind once again filling with thoughts of how insane she seemed to everyone else, how unstable she was to try to make things better for children who weren't hers.

Her heart throbbed painfully. Children who weren't hers. Like Aaron Corinthos. Thinking about that little boy made her thoughts shift to Michael, who was still so insistent on her being in his life.

"So would Michael," Willow sighed as she turned around to face Chase, her mouth twisting into a grimace. "If he had any sense, but he insists that he wants the opposite."

"What do you mean?" Chase stared at his girlfriend. Knowing that Michael had wanted to ask her out first admittedly made him a little paranoid that the Quartermaine heir still had those feelings for her despite being with Sasha.

"Last night I told him that I couldn't be around Aaron anymore, but Michael asked me to find a way and the more I think about it, the more I want to," her eyes lowered to the snowy ground as she realized that she still felt connected to the child.

"Wait, so Michael asked you to do what specifically? To keep being Aaron's nanny?" Chase asked.

"No, nothing like that. He just doesn't want me to exclude myself from Aaron's life. Aaron has lost Lucas and obviously Brad, but Michael thinks that I can be a consistent presence in Aaron's life and from Aaron's perspective, things haven't changed. I'm still Willow, the nice lady who reads him stories and babysits him sometimes," she explained.

"But everything has changed from your perspective," Chase pointed out, voice laced with worry as he saw the struggle in her eyes.

"I know, but should finding out that Aaron isn't really mine change our relationship? And no, he's not the child I gave birth to, but I was part of his life. It's exactly what Michael was going through. Michael didn't know that Aaron was his child and he loved him anyway. And even though I know now that Aaron isn't mine, I love him anyway. Aaron is in my heart."

'You didn't feel that way when you were talking to Sasha at the Quartermaines,' rational Willow spoke up.

'She's allowed to change her mind. Aaron has been her child this whole time,' maternal Willow snapped.

'Except he's not!' Rational Willow argued.

Sad Willow remained silent in her corner.

'The voices in my head are arguing. Great,' Willow thought. As if she didn't believe she was crazy before. Now she hears voices, two of which fight all the time.

"That's not what you said last night," Chase said, snapping Willow out of her thoughts. "In fact, you felt the exact opposite."

'Exactly.'

"I know, but I miss him. I miss him so much," Willow admitted.

And she did. She felt many things these days: angry because she was lied to, devastated that her son was dead, betrayed because of Brad's part in the switch, one of the adoptive fathers she entrusted Wiley's future to. She felt all of those, but through that mess of negativity, she knew in her bones that she missed Aaron, that she still loved him. She meant it earlier when she told Sasha that she wasn't ready to interact with Aaron yet, but it still didn't take away that longing to hold Michael's son.

"Well, before you make a decision, one way or the other, maybe just stop and take a breath?" Chase suggested.

"Of course," Willow nodded. She wasn't going to jump right into it. She needed time to think, to heal.

"Michael may be thinking about what's best for Aaron, but I'm thinking about what's best for you," her boyfriend's voice was firm and his eyes protective. Willow smiled, her aching heart soothed slightly by the love Chase held for her.

"How did I get so lucky to have you?" Willow asked.

Chase smiled softly. "I ask myself the same question."

Holding his hand out to her, Chase said, "Come on. Let's get our hot chocolate and watch the skaters."

"Okay," Willow accepted his hand with hers and went to enjoy her day with the man she loves.

Nina sat in her office, doing paperwork and figuring out events for Crimson's next issue. She loved her job, she did, but sometimes it was more trouble than it was worth.

A knock sounded at the door and, without looking up from her work, she called out, "Come in!"

The door opened. "Is this a bad time?"

The redhead instantly looked up, paperwork forgotten. "Willow!" Her face brightened instantly when she saw her daughter standing in the doorway. "No, of course this isn't a bad time! Come in!"

"Are you sure?" Willow asked, closing Nina's office door behind her. "You look pretty busy."

Nina pushed aside what was on her desk to give Willow her full attention. "I was, but I always have time for you."

Willow smiled. "If you say so," she said, sitting down in the chair in front of the older woman's desk.

"So, to what do I owe this pleasant visit?" Nina asked, smiling at her little girl.

Willow's tentative smile fell from her face and she looked down, nervously interlocking her fingers.

Nina instantly became concerned. "Hey, what's wrong?" She asked, reaching out and gently touching her laced hands. She didn't know what happened with Willow since she last saw her, but she didn't like the despondent look on her daughter's face. If someone hurt her…

'Calm down, Nina. Let Willow talk,' a voice that sounded suspiciously like Silas chimed into her head. She took a deep, calming breath and waited.

After a few more moments of silence, Willow finally spoke, "It's…it's Aaron."

Nina tilted her head. "What about Aaron? Is he alright?"

Willow nodded. "Yes, he's fine, it's just that…Michael still wants me to be part of his life."

Nina's concern for her daughter grew. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" She asked.

An anguished expression came over Willow's face. "I don't know. Maybe, but maybe not. I don't know what the right answer is," distress was heavy in her voice, her face pinched with confusion and pain.

Nina soothingly rubbed Willow's hands. "Talk through it," she gently encouraged. "Tell me what happened today."

Willow sighed. "Well, it started with the park. I was thinking about my…" she swallowed dryly. "I was thinking about Wiley and I watched a little boy drop his hot chocolate. He looked so upset and so disappointed that I couldn't help myself. I got up and suggested we get a new one together. Then the boy's father comes over and takes him away. I saw the look on his face. He was trying to be nice, but it was obvious that he didn't want his son anywhere near the crazy lady who's always crying or staring blankly in the park." Willow finally unlaced her fingers, pulling the hand that wasn't being held by Nina to wipe at a few stray traitor tears.

Nina's heart panged at the young woman's grief. She knew what it was like to grieve for the lost opportunity of motherhood. She never got to feel her babies kick inside her or watch her belly swelling as the months passed or hear her daughters cry before being placed into her arms. She ached every day for that.

When Willow regained her composure, she continued: "Then I started remembering what Michael told me last night. He said that I deserved to have a place in Aaron's life, that he needed me, and I…I want to agree so badly, but…"

"...But you don't know if it would be good for you," Nina finished, tightening her hold on Willow's hand when she nodded, staring down at the surface of Nina's desk.

The office was silent for a few moments while the women gathered their thoughts. Finally, Nina opened her mouth. "Willow, I know what you're going through. I went through that grief with the babies my mother stole from me and that feeling of uncertainty with Charlotte," the redhead watched as her daughter's eyes rose to meet hers.

"Really?" Willow asked softly.

"Yes. When I met Valentin and he introduced Charlotte to me, I felt the same way you did. I was reluctant to be a mother to such a young girl when I really didn't know where I stood with her father. Adding in the fact that we found out that Lulu was her biological mother and the mother she grew up with only carried her, I felt that reluctance grow because I didn't want things to fail with Valentin and have her lose a mother all over again, but we started bonding and I came to love that little girl like my own, and she loves me, too. I would never replace Lulu because she is Charlotte's mother, but I promised to always be in her life and it is the best decision I ever made. Well," Nina smiled at her. "the best decision other than making peace with you and being your friend." The word friend was like ash in her mouth knowing that Willow was one of the babies that had been stolen from her while she was in that coma, but the smile on Willow's face and her subsequent laugh made it taste just a bit sweeter.

Unfortunately, the smile didn't last for very long, and Willow's melancholic mood returned. "That may have worked for you, Nina, but you were never led to believe that Charlotte was your daughter only to find out that your real daughter was dead." God, how she despised saying those words, but unlike the two years she spent believing that Aaron was Wiley, they weren't lies.

"You're right. My circumstances were different, but the feelings were the same. I never stopped being a mother, even when my mother lied to me and told me that I miscarried in my coma. I remembered finding out about my pregnancy and how I felt. I knew that I was going to have a baby. I also never stopped being a mother when Charlotte and I bonded. Willow, honey," Nina reached her other hand out to grip Willow's so that both sets of fingers were clasped. "You never stopped being a mother when you gave birth to Wiley and you never stopped being a mother even when finding out the truth about Aaron and Wiley. You still love them both and if you want to still be in Aaron's life and give him that maternal figure he's lacking, then by all means, stay. It is, and always will be, your choice."

Willow was silent as Nina finished her speech. Before Chase, no one ever told her that something was her choice. It was always things she had to do. She had to keep moving all her life because her mother wanted to find spirituality. She had to join Dawn of Day and be "rescued" by Shiloh. She had to stay away from Aaron when he was still Wiley because Brad didn't want the secret to come out…

"Thank you, Nina," Willow whispered.

"For what?"

"For being there for me. You've given me a lot to think about."

Nina's smile lit up her entire face. "I'm glad. I'll always be here for you, Willow," she said warmly.

This time, the joyful smile didn't immediately drop. It stayed on her lips because of Nina. This was the Nina who fought for what she believed in. This was the Nina whose generosity was limitless to those she loved. This was the Nina Sasha loved. Willow could actually love this Nina.

'I wish Nina was my mother and not Harmony.'