Chapter 7 – Together

The end of the day brought some luckiness to Kisa. He found Yukina's notebook dropped in the corridor. He picked it up, and an idea crossed his mind. When he got back to his office to get ready and go home, he tore a piece of paper out of one of his notebooks, and wrote his phone number on it. His hands were slightly shaking as he slid his number into Yukina's notebook. Now he just needed to give it back to him.

As soon as he left the office, he spotted Yukina. He was looking for something in his bag, probably the missing notebook that was in Kisa's hand.

"Looking for this?"

Yukina looked straight at the notebook that Kisa handed him.

"Oh my, I thought I'd never find it!" His voice was so desperate that Kisa almost smiled at it. "Thank you. Where did you find it?"

"It was around here. Sorry I couldn't give it back sooner."

Yukina shook his head, smiling widely.

"It's alright. I'm glad I got it back."

Kisa rolled his eyes as he walked past Yukina, heading towards the stairs.

"Just make sure you don't lose it again."

And before the brunet could have said anything, Kisa left. He was nervous and excited. He just hoped Yukina would find his number in the notebook anytime soon.

It was cold out there, getting colder and colder with every day. December was also coming fast, and Kisa had to think about buying Christmas presents for his brother. Each year he would be walking around in shopping centres for hours, and each year, he would be remembering the first Christmas he had spent with Yoshida.

He was hoping he didn't need to remember anymore. He hoped that Takano's sessions would clean his mind by Christmas. And he sure hoped that he wouldn't be lonely on Christmas night. If he had one wish, he'd wish for Yukina and him being together.

As Kisa got home, he headed straight to the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he finished, he opened his fridge to see what was there to eat. It didn't really matter if it was full or not, Kisa always ended up eating instant ramen. As he was heating up some water for his dinner, his phone rang. The number wasn't familiar, but still, his heart skipped a beat. Just be it Yukina, he thought.

"Hello?"

"Kisa-san!" It was Yukina. He was, in fact, screaming into the phone in joy. "Kisa-san, I just found your number in my notebook! I can't believe it! You put your number into it before giving it back to me!"

"That's right, Sherlock, I did," Kisa rolled his eyes. And yet, he was smiling. Smiling like an idiot.

"I- uh… I have no idea what to say, I'm just so excited."

Kisa chuckled. His face was red, his heart beating fast. He was excited himself.

"I can hear it, moron."

Now he could hear Yukina taking a deep breath, then exhaling, trying to calm himself. He repeated this act a few times before talking again. Kisa was waiting patiently while making his dinner ready.

"Okay, I think I'll live," Yukina finally said, and Kisa laughed.

"It's not like having my number would kill you."

"I know, but… How come you gave me your number?"

Kisa slightly frowned as he sat down onto his couch. Why did he give Yukina his number? From his point of view, it was obvious – he wanted Yukina to call him, he wanted some sort of connection to that boy. But maybe Yukina was too much of a young moron that he didn't get it. Which made Kisa smile a little.

"So you have it," he replied. "You might not tell anyone, though. Also, if you save it, use a different name or something. And if you decide to call me in public, don't mention my name if possible."

"I didn't know there were rules to having your number," Yukina laughed out loud. "But I'll follow them. Obviously. I don't wanna get caught."

"I hoped you'd be aware of the consequences."

Yukina sighed on the other side of the line.

"Yeah. But still, I'm willing to take the risk."

"So it seems."

"Oh, and Kisa-san…"

Kisa was waiting for him to go on, but he didn't. Kisa frowned again.

"What?"

"On the second of December, exactly in a week, I'll have a piano contest. Wanna come? Although I know you're not a big fan of pianos and-"
"I'll be there," Kisa replied instantly, interrupting Yukina. "At what time?"

"Six. It's also a Friday, so it should be okay."

"I know," Kisa nodded to the phone. "Don't worry, moron. I'll be there."

The following day was Sunday, which meant another session with Takano. Kisa felt a tiny bit nervous. He was at Takano's gate before the agreed time, but Takano didn't seem bothered. He let Kisa in, they talked about university things, and when six o'clock came, they walked to Takano's office. But unlike the other day, Takano pulled his chair to the side of the sofa.

"Please, lie down," he told Kisa, and Kisa did it.

Takano was sitting behind him with a pen and a notebook, ready to take notes of whatever Kisa was going to say.

"So, today we are going to analyse your problem, and break it down into small pieces. Are you ready for that? I'll need to dig into your mind, into your deepest thoughts." Kisa nodded, although this nod was very uncertain. "The problem here is that you couldn't get over your past lover, isn't it?"

"Yes," Kisa replied.

"And what could be the reason that this new person couldn't help?"

"I don't know…" Kisa took a deep breath. And then he sighed. "Okay, I do know. It's probably because I see my ex in him."

Kisa heard Takano humming, and scribing something into his notebook.

"What makes them so similar?" Takano then asked. Kisa gulped. He seriously didn't want to go into details. But in order to get better, he had to.

"It's their personalities," he began. "It's their looks as well. Like, Yu- this new person has the same hairstyle, hair colour as my ex."

He stopped. That's pretty much all he managed to tell. Not to mention that he had almost revealed Yukina's name, which, even if Takano was supposed to keep secrets, would have been dangerous.

"I see." Takano scribed something again. "Can you list a few things that makes them different?"

Kisa almost said no. But as he thought about Yukina, he smiled, almost laughed even. Kisa had just realised, that Yukina and Yoshida might have been similar, but maybe they weren't completely alike after all.

"So… Yoshida was lively, and outgoing as well as this new person is. I'll just call him X for now. But Yoshida was more… careful. X is carefree, he's clumsy, he's loud sometimes, and… maybe he has a different facial expression when it comes to his biggest passion. He's also probably taller than Yoshida was when we parted away."

Takano stopped scribing the second Kisa stopped talking. For a long moment, none of them seemed to do anything, and Kisa rubbed his forehead.

"Seems like you've already made some progress," Takano managed to say, and Kisa could hear the smile in his voice.

"Huh?" Kisa raised an eyebrow in surprise. "How so?"

"You could name some differences between these two people. And it means that on a certain level, you can part them away from each other. You don't completely see them as one and the same. And that's a good sign."

"Do you remember parts of the past when you look at this new person?"

Kisa thought for a second. And then he nodded.

"Sometimes."

"If he was standing right in front of you right now, what do you think you would remember?"

Kisa imagined Yukina suddenly appearing in front of him, showing him that innocent smiled of his. The first thing that Kisa would remember would probably be the same smile he had seen on Yoshida's face. But then this image changed to a memory where Yukina held him close gently. And as he imagined this, he didn't seem remember anything about Yoshida. He touched his own shoulder as if he was relieving that moment. It was only the thought of Yukina, no one else's.

Kisa didn't really know what to say to that question, although Takano was waiting for him to say something. Kisa sighed.

"I… don't think I would necessarily remember," he finally replied slowly.

"Very good," Takano said. "You will need to focus on these small things. The differences between person one and person two. And the things that make you think you wouldn't remember person one when you're with person two."

Kisa nodded.

"It was worse, like, a month ago."

"But it seems that you have improved by yourself. And that's really great."

"I know, but I still have these weird thoughts occasionally."

Kisa heard Takano writing in his notebook again.

"Weird thoughts? The thoughts of them being similar?"

"Exactly," Kisa sighed. "I just… can't shake off this feeling."

Now Kisa heard Takano flipping a page, writing and writing, and then he stopped. Kisa didn't say anything, and Takano went silent as well. But a few seconds later, he spoke.

"The problem here is that the moment you saw X, you started thinking that he looks like your past lover. And you've been feeding this thought by always reminding yourself – whether it's conscious or unconscious – that they are almost the same. As soon as you manage to completely get over your past lover, you'll manage to get rid of these thoughts, and see X for who he is."

Kisa gulped, and nodded again. He found it a little frightening how weird his mind worked. He had never thought about all these things before. But with Takano, he was able to see his own thoughts from a different view.

When Kisa left, he felt a slightly bit lighter. Especially because Takano told him that he was curing on his own. But they both knew that he still needed time to fully improve his mind into moving on.

Time flew fast, and to Kisa, it felt like it was just a day ago that Yukina invited him to see his contest. In no time, it was next week's Friday, and also the last day of school before winter break. Kisa felt nervous, but he knew that Yukina was probably feeling worse. And Kisa didn't know what made him feel more nervous – the fact that he would get to see Yukina in a contest, or he would get to see and talk to Yukina. Either way, he needed to go through the last day with hiding his nervousness and excitement. Especially because Yukina would instantly know that Kisa felt like that because of him, and God know how excited it would make Yukina. Kisa didn't want him or the both of them to get in trouble. Although he knew that Yukina was way smarter than to run up to him and say something weird in front of others. Just a week ago, he had said that he was aware of the risks.

When Kisa walked into his office, he stopped for a second. Then he frowned. His eyes met Yukimura-sensei herself. She was sitting at her own table with a pack of notes and a few notebooks. Kisa smiled at her, although, for some strange reason, he felt disappointed. And he knew he was a complete jerk for feeling like that about seeing a colleague who just got back to work from absence.

"Good morning, Yukimura!" Kisa greeted as he took a seat not too far from her.

"Oh, Kisa!" she threw a huge, happy grin at him. "Good morning! How has it been? Sorry you had to take over all my classes. Must have been a pain."

Kisa shook his head. It started as a pain in the ass. A huge pain, in fact. But it ended up something that he was waiting for so long – it all ended up in a love that might make him finally forget. Because if Yukimura hadn't been absent, Kisa wouldn't have taken over her classes, and he wouldn't have gotten this close to Yukina in the end. And this might have been the reason Kisa felt slightly disappointed to see Yukimura here. No matter how hard he needed to avoid Yukina's glance in classes, no matter how hard he needed to try and not think about him when they were in the same classroom, Kisa didn't want all this to end.

And this is why he felt like a complete jerk. His love he felt for Yukina affected his thoughts and feelings, and now that he was disappointed, it was all as if he wanted Yukimura to be absent for another month. But he definitely didn't want that. He would never wish bad for anyone.

Kisa knew that the moment when he needed to quit would come as soon as his relationship with Yukina began. But now that he had such thoughts upon seeing Yukimura, he was certain that he needed to quit as soon as possible.

Because his feelings for Yukina would affect not only their relationship in school, but Kisa's relationships with his colleagues as well.

He sighed.

Yokozawa is going to kill him.

It was five minutes to six, and Kisa was hiding behind the huge amount of people. A few days ago, he texted Yukina to ask where the contest would be. It was in a theatre, so Kisa was able to hide himself amongst the people who came to see it. So far, he hadn't seen anyone familiar. But then he spotted someone.

It was the old lady. Now that he thought about it, he had never asked her name. After running into her several times, maybe it was time he did. He decided to do so after the contest. Now he was wondering why the old lady was here. Maybe she had another son or daughter who participated this contest. God knows, Kisa thought.

He turned towards the stage, and the lights went off, just so the stage could be lit up. In the middle of the stage was a shiny, brown piano. It looked new and beautiful. Kisa couldn't wait to see Yukina performing.

A woman walked up to the stage with a microphone in her hand. She greeted everyone, and told some general things, like 'please, shut down your phone, put it on silent'. Kisa let out a long sigh. Even though her short speech ended quickly, Kisa felt like it would last forever. He was incredibly excited.

The first competitor was a very young girl, probably a middle school student. She played with her eyes closed, and Kisa thought it was a thing pianists did. Yukina did the same when Kisa saw him playing on that autumn day. He smiled to that thought. The girl did great in his opinion. She played a rather cheerful song, and the audience clapped the second she started playing. It was the type of song you could dance to.

Kisa watched all the competitors with a small smile. He liked every song he had heard so far. But still, he was wondering when Yukina would be on stage. And then it hit him.

Alphabetical order. By that meaning, Yukina would be one of the last competitors. Kisa sighed. He had no idea just how many of them were competing that evening.

And after a while, Yukina had finally appeared on stage. Kisa's chest clenched. So did his stomach. The lights were on Yukina, lighting up his whole figure. He was shining, and Kisa couldn't take his eyes off him.

Yukina licked his lips, and started playing. His song was similar to the young girl's. It was uplifting, cheerful, and it made Kisa think of the sun when it first shines after a long stormy day. When it shines through the dark clouds, and a rainbow appears on the sky somewhere far, far away. When it shines down onto the raindrops on the bright green glass, and the raindrops shine as well. When the kids run out of the house to play outside.

It kind of reminded Kisa of his childhood. When he was a kid, he used to run out to to play after the storm, jumping into every puddle, touching the raindrops on the gate, the grass, anywhere.

And Kisa smiled like an idiot as he was listening to Yukina's song. His eyes even tore up for no particular reason. When Yukina finished, he turned towards the audience, and bowed, then left the stage. There were three other competitors after him, but Kisa couldn't pay attention to them anymore. His mind was completely around Yukina.

Shortly, the contest ended, and a few minutes later, the lady walked up to the stage again, and announced the winners. Yukina wasn't one of them, and Kisa felt sad for him. He knew how excited and passionate he was about this whole thing.

As he was heading towards the exit to wait for Yukina there, he spotted the boy standing around the door. He smiled.

"You good?"

Yukina looked up instantly, and grinned at Kisa.

"You came!"

"I did. You did great."

"Did I? I didn't even win," Yukina sighed, and Kisa didn't really know what to say to cheer him up. He was never good at cheering people.

He shrugged.

"I mean, you did win something."

"What? What do you mean?"

"You've won some experience."

Yukina burst out laughing. Kisa chuckled. That joke was horrible, but it seemed that Yukina liked it.

"But seriously, I was trying so hard!" Yukina complained when he stopped laughing.

"I know. Just because you didn't win doesn't mean you haven't done great."

Yukina opened his mouth to argue, but he just ended up smiling.

"Okay, I believe you, Kisa-san."

Kisa nodded as he smiled up at Yukina, then he looked around. He made sure there wasn't anyone who could see them. He looked up at Yukina again, and grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, and pulled him close. Their lips met for a tiny kiss.

He didn't care that Takano hadn't cured him yet. He didn't care that he still had thoughts of the past on his mind.

He wanted Yukina. He wanted to be with Yukina, no matter what. Takano told him that he made progress on his own before they even started the sessions. Maybe he could make progress with Yukina on his side.

Not to mention, that Kisa couldn't wait any longer. He was planning to be patient. But in the end, he couldn't be.

And he knew Yukina wanted him, too.

When they parted, Yukina seemed slightly surprised, and all he could do was grinning. On the other hand, Kisa knew what he had to do next.

"Yukina…"

"Yes?"

"You do love me, don't you?"

Yukina blushed a little, and nodded. For a moment, he looked like an enthusiastic little kid.

"I guess you do, too?"

Kisa nodded with a small smile.

"I do. I do love you, Yukina. Therefore, I'm going to quit Mitsuhashi."

A/N:

Woohoo! They're finally together. I hope you guys liked this chapter.

Thank you for your reviews, it is honestly so nice to read your positive feedbacks :) It makes me soooo happy 3 Please don't forget to leave a comment if you've read my story ^^ I'd really love to hear from you. :)

until next time

Ricchan