Chapter 8 - Forgetting

The time of healing, that was how Kisa could describe the following days and weeks. His relationship with Yukina had finally began, and the sessions with Takano went pretty well. He had told Yukina about these sessions, and for his surprise, the brunet supported him. He accepted that the biggest help he could do was giving time to Kisa to completely heal and forget.

Kisa had noticed it several times, but each time he had spent with Yukina, he had to acknowledge that this boy was way smarter than anyone he had ever known. He hadn't asked Kisa about his past, and he didn't try to give him unnecessary advice on how to heal or what to do to get better. And Kisa had fallen in love with him more and more for these little things.

As it was winter break, they got to spend a lot of time together. They usually just hung out at each other's place – surprisingly, Yukina lived alone, and he originally came from Sapporo. A few days before Christmas, they went shopping together. They planned to visit Yukina's family, so the boy could introduce Kisa to his parents. They had already booked plane tickets to Hokkaido, and it made Kisa feel nervous. Did Yukina's family know that he was into guys? Especially into a certain thirty-year-old?

"Hmm, I have no idea what to buy for my brother," Yukina sighed as he walked amongst the shelves in one of the shops.

"You have a brother?" Kisa frowned. It was something new to hear.

"Yeah, an older brother," Yukina nodded. "And he has everything he needs, so that's why it's hard to pick him a present."

Kisa hummed as he tried to help Yukina find a gift for his brother.

"I have an older brother myself," he then said. "He's quite weird."

"Wow, that's good to know," Yukina said. He was as surprised to hear that Kisa had a brother as Kisa was when he heard that Yukina had one. "So, weird in what meaning?"

"Uh… Let's not mention him. He doesn't live with my parents anymore, and he works somewhere quite far from Tokyo. He hardly ever goes home," Kisa explained.

"Well, that is indeed weird."

Later, Yukina had finally found what he wanted to buy. Kisa had bought a few things himself. Although he had just bought presents for Yukina.

"Do you want to check out the Christmas market tomorrow?" Yukina asked when they finally got out of the busy, crowded shopping centre.

Kisa nodded.

"Yeah, why not?"

"Good! We could also check out the Christmas lights!"

"You're very passionate about Christmas, aren't you?"

Yukina laughed softly, with a slight blush on his face.

"I am. I love Christmas. And I've always wanted to spend it with someone special."

Kisa stopped for a moment, and just watched as Yukina continued walking alone. His face went red, redder than Yukina's went just a second ago. And his heart… his heart clenched, but also, it was beating fast in joy.

He hadn't felt special, nor had he been told so for a very, very long time.

That night, he pulled as close to Yukina as he could, embracing him, holding him closely. Kisa wanted him to stay forever.

Christmas day was filled with excitement and nervousness. Kisa and Yukina had almost missed the flight to Hokkaido. They needed to catch a taxi to the airport, then run around in the building to check in and find the right gates. But fortunately, they made it in time.

"Life sure is an adventure," Yukina said with his usual enthusiasm and cheerfulness. Kisa, however, couldn't share these feelings. He felt tired, and he was struggling to breath.

"Is it?" he grunted.

"Can't wait to introduce you to my parents. Oh, I almost forgot…"

"Forgot what?" Kisa frowned.

"I told my parents about you, so they know who to expect," Yukina said with a huge grin. He probably thought it would calm Kisa. Well, it certainly didn't. It just made Kisa feel more nervous.

If Yukina's parents hadn't been good with him dating Kisa, they would have told him, and Yukina would have told Kisa. Right?

"Kisa-san?" Yukina leaned closer now, and Kisa turned towards him, looking into his eyes. "You don't need to worry about anything. My family is fine with us being together."

"I believe you, Yukina," Kisa forced a smile onto his face.

However, he couldn't shake off this overwhelming nervousness. Yukina seemed surprisingly calm and collected. And it made Kisa feel a little embarrassed. He should have been the one who's calm, not Yukina. He was the older one after all.

When the gates had finally opened, they went through the checks there. In just ten minutes, they were on the plane, their shoulders touched in the tight seats. Yukina slid his fingers on Kisa's hand and smiled at him.

"Are you scared?"

Kisa shook his head. Now a stewardess held a short presentation about safety on the flight, and after that, the plane had finally taken off. For a few minutes, Kisa felt this uncomfortable feeling in his ears, but as soon as this feeling had faded, his whole body was taken over by exhaustion. He didn't even notice when he had fallen asleep. He leaned against Yukina's shoulder, and his eyes automatically closed. The last thing he had felt was Yukina stroking his arm slowly.

He was woken up by a heavy turbulence. He almost jumped up as it scared him.

"Are you okay?" Yukina asked sleepily. Kisa assumed he was asleep as well.

"Yeah, I just got scared."

Yukina chuckled as he stretched in the seat and yawned. Kisa watched him with a smile.

"Do you know the time?"

Kisa reached for his phone and checked it.

"Five minutes to ten. I've slept for an hour."

"Yeah, me too," Yukina nodded. "I think I fell asleep the minute you did."

Thirty minutes later, the plane started landing. Once again, it was painful for their ears, and Kisa had a horrible headache with that, so he left the plane quite grumpyly when they finally opened the door. Behind him, Yukina was humming a song cheerfully, and Kisa wished he could share that feeling. He just wanted to get out of the airport, and get some fresh air.

"We'll need to catch a bus, Kisa-san," Yukina suddenly said.

"Okay. Lead me, I've never been to Sapporo before."

Yukina grabbed his hand, and pulled him through the crowd with hurried steps, and Kisa, although he was nearly running behind him, let him do it. From that moment, Yukina was his guide. They finally got out of the airport. Running around the airport with the big packs they had wasn't exactly the easiest thing, though.

But now they were at the bus stop. The bus was due in a few minutes, and Yukina threw a wide smile at Kisa.

"I'm sooo excited! Are you excited?"

Kisa gulped and turned his gaze down. No, he wasn't excited. He was so nervous that the nerves in his palms were aching, and his stomach was clenched. He had no idea how he would hide his shaking hands from Yukina or his parents.

The bus came, and they hopped on, Yukina bought the tickets, and they took their seats in the last row. The whole time, Kisa kept staring out the window, and he only assumed that Yukina noticed his worsening nervousness because he gently put his hand on his shoulder, smiling softly. Kisa smiled back. Maybe it was too soon to see Yukina's parents. Maybe they should have spent the holidays separately.

Kisa sighed. Here they were, those negative thoughts. He didn't need them right before a big moment like meeting Yukina's parents.

Instead, Kisa tried to think about what could possibly go wrong. Maybe assuring himself that everything was perfectly fine would help him calm down. But a lot of things could go wrong, and he was aware of that. Although Yukina said his parents were fine with them being together…

"Seriously, Kisa-san, you're trembling, you need to stop thinking about it too much," Yukina whispered to his ears. It gave Kisa goosebumps.

When they got off, Kisa watched the bus passing by, then slowly followed Yukina down the sidewalk. On the asphalt was melting snow, and it was chilling out there.

It was so strange that Yukina was nine years his junior, yet he was the braver. Kisa, himself, was a train wreck. At least he felt like that. Not only did he think that he should be the braver one and take the lead, and shouldn't be thinking about how things would turn out by the end of the day, but he was scolding himself for not trusting Yukina enough to believe what he had said. To believe that his parents were fine about their son dating a thirty-year-old adult man.

It didn't take too long to get to Yukina's parents' house, and before Yukina opened the small gate, Kisa drew a deep breath, then exhaled it. He got to focus on giving a good first impression from now. Yukina was still smiling, and had been for a while now. Kisa knew he was very happy about this encounter. On a certain level, Kisa was, too.

Yukina pushed the door handle down, and opened it, and Kisa could feel the warmth of the house on his skin before he could set his feet into the living room.

"Mum, dad, we're home!" Yukina yelled happily.

From the stairs, Kisa could hear footsteps. Someone was running down to see them.

"Kou!"

It was probably Yukina's mother, Kisa assumed. She had medium length, light-brown hair, and a smile that was exactly the same as Yukina's. But on the other hand, she looked nothing like her son. She hugged Yukina tightly, and Kisa watched them from the background, on his face a warm smile. For a moment, his nervousness seemed to stop crawling up in his chest. From that hug, he could tell that Yukina hadn't been home for a while.

And then the woman let go of Yukina, and took a look at Kisa. Her eyes were just as sparkly as Yukina's.

"Hello, there! It's Kisa-kun, isn't it?"

Kisa bowed in front of her, and smiled, but he was sure this smile was quite weird.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Kisa Shouta."

She kept smiling warmly at Kisa, and it was somehow relaxing.

"It's nice to meet you, too. I'm Yukina Hiroko." Then she headed towards the kitchen. "Come on, don't be shy, feel free to come in."

Kisa nodded, and Yukina grabbed his hand for a second, then let go of it.

Their house was quite big. A living room twice as big as Kisa's; a kitchen that was completely lit up by the winter sun. From the room downstairs, Kisa could hear the TV, although as he peeked into that room, no one seemed to be there.

"Ah, forgot to tell you that you dad won't be home until nine today, Kou."

"Oh, how come?"

"Work," Hiroko sighed. "He's been working quite hard. Also, your brother swapped to night work, so he's sleeping at the moment."

"I see…"

"So, tell me something about yourself, Kisa-kun," Hiroko now turned towards Kisa, and Kisa's anxiety started acting up again. "Heard some things about you from Kou, though."

Now Kisa was wondering what those things might have been that Yukina told his mother about him. He was certain that Hiroko knew about his age. What else did she know?

"Umm…"

"He's quite shy," Yukina grinned, and Kisa blushed. Hiroko chuckled.

"No, I just get weird when it comes to talking about me," Kisa replied, although his stutter made it certain that he wasn't calm yet. He glanced at Yukina's mother "But, umm… I'm thirty, as you may know. I'm a university lecturer…"

"Wow!" Hiroko said in awe, her eyebrows rising. "That's nice!"

Now Kisa was sure that this information was new to her.

"And that's pretty much it…"

"I'm sure it isn't."

Hiroko was smiling at him as if Kisa was just her son as well. He leaned against the wall, his legs and hands were trembling horribly. Should he mention that Yukina was basically his student? Maybe not. Maybe that wasn't the best idea.

But at the same time, Kisa thought that Hiroko had the right to know. Oh, he was so confused. He gulped before he began talking again.

"I- uh, I have no idea what to say, honestly."

"Hmm…" Hiroko tried to think of something to ask him while she was preparing some tea. "Why did you choose teaching?"

As if the whole world was a huge, fragile glass, it shattered around Kisa. Here they were again. He was healing nicely, recovering, he managed to bury his past into the corner of his mind. And yet, a simple question broke the wall between the past and the present. Kisa turned his gaze down. The nervousness he had been feeling made his stomach clench, but now he was literally sick.

Yukina made a weird noise, and now Kisa was sure he understood what was going on.

"Mum, this is-"

"I'd rather not talk about those reasons," Kisa finally replied quietly. "I'm sorry, Yukina-san."

Now Yukina's mother looked a little nervous, and Kisa felt bad for her. But what could have he said? That he had chosen to be a teacher because Yoshida was going to be one, too? And by the time they had broken up, it was too late to turn back and start his studies over?

No, even if he wanted to, he couldn't have brought up the past. Not this part.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause trouble," Hiroko said quickly.

"No, I should be the one apologising!" Now Kisa felt worse because Yukina's mother felt the need to apologise to him for something she didn't know. "I should have talked about myself, but I didn't know what to say, and-"

Hiroko and Yukina chuckled at the same time, and Kisa blushed badly.

"You're quite the anxious type, aren't you?"

He looked at the woman, and then at Yukina. And he smiled. He was, indeed, the anxious type.

The day turned out to be nice. Whenever Yukina left the kitchen, Hiroko made sure to keep Kisa company. There wasn't any weird or awkward moment, nor any awkward silence. Kisa felt welcomed, and in the end, he managed to have proper conversations with Hiroko. But as the evening came, he got nervous again. For a few hours, he had forgotten that he still hadn't met Yukina's father and older brother. What were they like, he wondered.

Just shortly after dinner, the front door swung open, and Yukina's father walked through it. He was tall, even taller than Yukina, and he was quite thin. But he had the same face as Yukina, and now Kisa understood where he got his face from. His posture, the way he moved, everything was the same. Except his eyes. As he walked into the kitchen, and his gaze had fallen onto Kisa, Kisa noticed that the man's eyes weren't as sparky as Yukina's or his mother's.

"Well, well, good afternoon!" he greeted them with a smile. Kisa jumped up from his seat immediately, and bowed.

"Good afternoon, sir. It's nice to meet you. I'm Kisa Shouta."

"Oh yeah, heard about you," he nodded, his smile remained on his face. "My name's Yukina Koichi. Nice to meet you."

Yukina Koichi seemed distant. He was nothing like Yukina or his mother. And it made Kisa feel slightly anxious, but he assumed fathers are all like him. His father was the same.

"Guess this, Koichi, Kisa-kun is a university lecturer!" Hiroko told him happily.

"I'm amazed," the man said, smiling at Kisa. "At such a young age."

Kisa's cheek felt hot. If Hiroko knew his age, then he was sure Koichi knew it, too. What did he think? What if he wasn't actually okay with it?

"What's your major, kiddo?"

Kiddo? Kisa expected to be called everything in this world, but kiddo. Now it made him wonder how old Yukina's parents might be. Or did Koichi just call him kiddo because he looked that young?

Next to him, Yukina laughed so loud it echoed in the kitchen. And just then, a fifth party walked in. Probably Yukina's brother. Kisa watched the guy with widened eyes. He looked exactly like Yukina. Same hairstyle, same face, everything. In Kisa's opinion, they looked the most alike in the whole family.

"Kou, you're so loud, I wonder why mum even let you into the house."

"Probably because if she didn't, I wouldn't be laughing here right now, and you'd be late to work."

The older son shook his head and rolled his eyes. He poured some coffee, and turned towards Kisa and Yukina now.

"Is he…" he pointed at Kisa, "is he the boyfriend you mentioned?"

Yukina nodded.

"Yeah. Who else would he be?"

Yukina's brother frowned.

"I swear, Kou, you're the biggest liar in the world!"

"Excuse me?"

"You said he was an adult. He looks like a high school student!"

Kisa felt slightly offended, although Yukina's brother was right. He wasn't the first to question if his age was true. He sighed as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket, and handed his driving licence to the guy.

"He didn't lie," Kisa said. And he watched Yukina's brother slowly getting shocked.

"You… you guys are fucking with me…"

"Okay, that's enough, Mikado, you're being rude!" Hiroko snapped. "Not to mention that you didn't even greet Kisa-kun properly!"

Yukina laughed again. Kisa assumed it was kind of normal between them.

"I'm sorry, I'm Yukina Mikado," Mikado introduced himself as he handed Kisa back his driving license. "I'm the older brother of this brat there."

"Hey, who're you calling a brat?" Yukina snapped with a grin.

"You. Aren't you a brat after all?"

Kisa watched the brotherly argument unfold as he smiled, elbowing on the table.

"They're so silly sometimes," Hiroko said softly, talking directly to Kisa, although she was watching the brothers arguing, and gently punching each other's shoulders. "But Mikado actually misses Kou a lot when he's away in Tokyo."

Kisa nodded his head slowly.

"I bet."

"Do you miss your brother, Kisa-kun?"

Kisa thought for a second, then he shrugged.

"I think so. We aren't this close."

In the meantime, Yukina and his brother chased each other to the room downstairs, and Koichi went upstairs to take a shower. It was just Kisa and Hiroko left in the kitchen. They could hear the distant argument of the brothers, and they laughed at them.

"You know…" Hiroko suddenly began, and Kisa turned his gaze at her. "I know you're pretty anxious, Kisa-kun."

Kisa chuckled shyly, and avoided eye contact with Hiroko.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be." Now Hiroko gently touched his shoulder. "I get it. Being an adult sure sucks. Being thirty, forty, fifty does, too. Not to mention that you're with the family of your boyfriend who's nine years younger than you."

Kisa watched her face. She was smiling, but she wasn't that sparkly anymore. Rather, she seemed worried or uneasy.

"But you know, Kisa-kun," she continued, "I'm just happy that my son has finally found someone he feels happy with. You see, he had some girlfriends, but because he's kind hearted and good-looking, some of those girlfriends assumed he would cheat on them. And some of them cheated on him."

"Oh…"

"And then, when this semester began, he phoned me happily. 'Mum, I think I like someone.' So, I went, 'who is it, Kou?'. He just replied, 'I can't tell you yet'. I guess he didn't want to be hasty about it. And just a week ago, right after his piano contest, he called to tell me that he didn't win." Hiroko leaned back on the chair, taking a deep breath, then turning her gaze to Kisa. "He called, and said, 'Mum, I didn't win the contest. But I've won something else.' And that's when he told me about you."

Kisa couldn't help but grin like a little kid. Yukina was a brat – just like his brother said. A silly, clumsy, intelligent, and kind hearted little brat. And Kisa felt extremely happy that he had given Yukina a chance. That he didn't wait any longer.

A few second had passed before Hiroko continued.

"You were that person he was talking about months ago. And here you guys are. Together. And he's so happy, and I want him to be happy. Whoever he chooses is welcome in the family as long as he says he's okay. I honestly don't care that you're thirty years old."

"You don't?" Kisa seemed to ease up, and he smiled softly at the woman. "I'm kind of relieved."

"Well, to be completely honest with you, I was quite scared at first. I thought he was joking. But he assured me that he wasn't, that he was deadly serious about this whole relationship. And he's an adult, so I'm in no position to judge, am I?"

Kisa felt extremely, unspeakably glad that it almost made him cry. Suddenly, his shoulder didn't feel that stiff anymore, and the anxiety that had been surrounding him for the past couple of days seemed to fade slowly. He wanted to tell Hiroko how grateful he was for hearing these things. He wanted to tell her that he's going to take care of Yukina, because unlike his exes, he truly loved him. He won't ever assume that Yukina would cheat on him because he believed in him. If he hadn't believed in Yukina, they wouldn't have been together.

He had to believe in him because he wanted to. Yukina said he could make him forget. It wasn't exactly a promise, but he never broke his words. Because the more time Kisa had spent with Yukina, the less he had thought about Yoshida. His mind began to clear up, and the past was slowly taken over by the present and the future.

Finally, Kou and Mikado came back to the kitchen. Kisa had almost forgotten that they were just a room away from him and Hiroko. Yukina glanced at Kisa as Mikado headed towards the stairs.

"Shall we go upstairs, too?" he asked. "I'll show you my room. Is it even the way I left it, mum?"

Hiroko nodded with a soft laugh.

"Who would have touched it?"

"Mikado?"

"Come on, Kou, nobody had entered your room ever since you had last visited, okay?" Now Hiroko stood up, and hugged Yukina, planting a soft kiss on his forehead. "Goodnight, Kou. Goodnight, Kisa-kun. And Merry Christmas, boys!"

Yukina showed his room to Kisa. It wasn't much bigger than the room in his apartment in Tokyo. But it sure was a lot cosier. He had some posters on the wall, an almost empty table in the corner, and a double bed in the other. The walls were light blue.

"It seems that mum had put on some fresh bedding," Yukina said as he fell into bed. "The other bathroom is occupied, so wanna go first?"

Kisa nodded.

"Yeah, I'll go then."

He opened his bag to get his pyjamas, then left to the bathroom. He locked the door, and when he took off all his clothes, he stood in the shower, letting the hot water pour over him. It felt like heaven after a long day like this. For five minutes straight, he was just standing there with his eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the water. Then he reached for a bottle of shower gel. As he opened it, the smell of it reminded him of how Yukina usually smelled. He loved this smell. And wearing it on himself surely felt strange, but he still went with it.

After shower, he walked back to Yukina's room, feeling a little bit better, but also feeling extremely exhausted.
"'I'm done, you can go," Kisa said as he sat down onto the edge of the bed.

"Don't wanna," Yukina mumbled.

"Go," Kisa rolled his eyes. "Or else, I'll make you."

Now Yukina chuckled, and sat up slowly, then leaned against Kisa's chest. Kisa was certain that this pose was super uncomfortable.

"Oh yeah? And what can you do?" he asked in a challenging tone.

Kisa grunted.

"I'll fall asleep quickly, so you can't even touch me."

"You're so cruel!" Yukina gently poked Kisa's shoulder, and Kisa laughed at the face he made. "Okay, I'll go."

He grabbed a t-shirt for pyjama, and left the room. Kisa was all alone. He didn't bother with turning the lights on, he just laid down, and pulled the blanket on himself. The bedding smelled so nice that it made him feel sleepier. But he didn't want to sleep just yet. Not after he most likely got Yukina turned on.

He sighed into one of the pillows. He should be more careful of what he was saying. Yukina didn't take long in the bathroom, and when he got back, he literally jumped on Kisa, and Kisa almost shrieked.

"I'm back. So can we do it?"

And Kisa smiled.

"We can."

And they did it. Although they were both exhausted to death.

After making love, they had fallen asleep instantly. Yukina was curled up next to Kisa, his hand resting on Kisa's chest.

It was sure a crazy day.

A/N:

Hello there!

Chapter 8, here we come. I think this one was the most fun to write so far. I mean, it's just full of love and excitement, and cheerfulness. And also Christmas theme :'3

Thank you all for commenting, reading, following and favouriting. :) It sure makes me go on and on with this story.^^ To answer Shiranai Atsune's question, Yoshida is a whole lot of mystery ;) I wouldn't reveal anything about him yet. Will you guys see him? Maybe. Will he never appear? God knows. Stick with me to find out I guess. :D

Thanks for everything again, and don't forget to comment if you've read this chapter. I always love to hear from you.

Ricchan