Chapter 28

July 22nd, 1995

"One of these days you're going to have to tell me what's going on, darling." Grandma said quietly as she handed Hermione a cuppa and sat down in the chair beside her granddaughter.

Hermione pulled her legs up and crossed them, before blowing on her tea to caution a small sip.

Not cool enough to drink yet.

"I'm not sure what to say at this point. It seems like everyone around me has already said them." She sighed, looking out into the garden where they in the distance could watch William fight. They had only been home from school for a few weeks, but he had still been meticulous and persistent for every single day.

No one said anything about it. No one stopped him or told him to do something else.

But they all knew. She, grandma, their parents and their friends; They all knew what he was fighting.

Himself.

He was fighting the nightmares she heard him having. The nightmares where she would crawl into his bed at night, lay on top of the covers and cradle his head to hers, whispering of better days and sweet promises, that she would never be able to uphold.

She wasn't even sure if he remembered once he woke up the next morning, looking as haggard as ever… But she would do it nevertheless. Bring him comfort, crawl back into her own bed and then call Ellinor the very next day.

She would be there in a matter of hours and the way his face would sag in relief made it all worth it.

So, she knew what he was fighting, but she also knew whom he was fighting for.

It may be cheesy, but maybe all of them could learn from a kind Hufflepuff that all that mattered, was love and friendship.

Nothing else mattered anymore.

"You're doing it again." Grandma noted as she sipped from her own tea.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She spoke into her cup before taking a small sip. Then another.

"Sure, you do. But since you refuse to talk, let me do it for you." Hermione heard the chair beside her creak a bit as grandma moved, but she refused to remove her eyes from William.

"This year was nothing like it should have been. You two - all of you, really - have been robbed of what it's like to be kids and it's not fair. You have all been taking too much on your shoulders even if you didn't have a choice in it, and that's not fair either. Any and everyone has to learn stuff the hard way. Heartbreak, puberty, the rights and wrongs of the world, all of that. But that doesn't mean that any of it can't be done under the right circumstances. And you kids haven't had that luxury." She sounds angry, but Hermione knew it's not her or William she's angry with. It's the world and it's doing. And Hermione couldn't agree more.

"Grandma -"

"No. You are my grandchildren and I will do everything in my power to keep you safe from things you don't have any control over. But I've seen the two of you breaking every day since you came here." Hermione felt a hand softly on her arm, and she almost sobbed in relief

"I'm not - I'm not breaking grandma." Hermione tried, but her voice lacked the conviction she had tried to voice.

Grandma was silent for too long, and Hermione almost turned her head in her direction to figure out why, when suddenly her chair creaked once more, and a shadow stepped in front of Hermione, obscuring her view of William. She almost moved to look around grandma, when she suddenly kneeled in front of Hermione.

"Please look at me, Hermione." She said in a soft voice. It wasn't a command, and she knew she could refuse if she wanted to…

Her eyes slowly met grandma's and her hand reached up to caress Hermione's cheek softly. Almost like the push of a button, as Hermione felt her lower lip begin to tremble.

Slow breaths. In and out. Slow breaths.

"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think." Grandma said matter of factly, and Hermione made a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh, tears slowly starting to well up in her eyes.

"Quoting Winnie the Pooh isn't saving the world Grandma."

"Maybe not, but Mr. Milne spoke a lot of truths and so do you - you just don't believe in its importance. And don't you dare say you're not important, young lady!" She said quickly as her granddaughter opened her mouth to counter. "I see you hurting, my sweet girl. I see you staring into nothing for hours. I see you get angry and mutter to yourself only to be silent for hours upon hours yet again. I see you brooding and planning what I hope is the best revenge in the world. I know you, and I know when something is wrong - even when you won't tell me." She sighed and caressed the hand that Hermione used to hold her cup, "I know exactly what's wrong with William, and I have my suspicions about you, but I can't help you heal your heart if you refuse to open it up to me."

Tears leaked from Hermione's eyes and she finally looked to the side and away from grandma. Her lip wobbled violently as she tried with everything in her, to stop them. But they kept coming.

She couldn't hold them in.

Grandma stood and grabbed Hermione's cup on the way, putting it on the armrest of the chair, before she pulled Hermione up and hugged her close.

She held her only granddaughter close as the girl cried, her small body echoing small heart wrenching sobs that Rhea could feel all the way into her soul.

"Her name… Is… Pansy…" She finally uttered between the sounds of her heart breaking, again.

…

July 24th, 1995

Sweetpea,

Please help me escape. Can I come visit you for a few days? As soon as possible.

Even if someone else had written the letter and she wouldn't be able to tell from the handwriting, his nickname for her would always be a complete tell-tale.

She quickly wrote a reply and sent it off with Ivy, noting his urgency. She didn't know why he needed something as important as an 'escape' but if he needed it, she would give it to him.

Had something happened to him?

Would something happen to him if he didn't leave? And what would happen when he did?

But what about Draco?! Her mind shouted at her. If Theo needs saving, then what if Draco does too?

Hermione had done all that she could to not think about the blond up until this point of her summer holiday, but it had worked all the same.

She couldn't get around the dreams, the sadness or the hurt or the anger. Thank Merlin, none of her friends had blond hair because she was sure she would be living in a constant state of racing pulse or red puffy eyes.

Not seeing him helped. But it also meant that she didn't… see him. And that hurt as well.

Someone once said that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and she had turned those words around to her advantage - but it hadn't helped her at all.

Sure, some days were better than others… But she didn't feel any fonder about anything at all. She felt like an old lady from a movie on the tellie, who spent her entire day yelling at young people.

Except, she was only yelling at herself.

Yelling for everything she had done wrong and everything she had done right, but it didn't matter because everything came down to nothing, and nothing was bloody helping her!

She wanted him out of her head, but she didn't want him to leave. She wanted him to go to hell, but he had to bring her with him because she couldn't be without him.

Yet, she couldn't be with him either…

Fuck Pansy and everything she stands for. Hermione thought angrily to herself as she turned around to go do something useful. Anything. Maybe mum needed help with something.

…

Hermione was just about to take off her wellies when she heard a soft POP! from outside. Opening the door behind her and peeking outside, she saw Theo standing a few meters from the door holding the hand of a small house elf. She frowned down at the elf, suddenly realizing that something wasn't right.

Why wasn't Hensy bringing him?

"Thank you, Sura, that will be all." Theo said as he let go of the hand and stepped forward. "Hi, Sweetpea." He said while smiling at her, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Theo, you bloody asshole." She seethed as she stepped forward out of the house, and directly into his embrace. "'Help me escape' do you know how worried I was for your sorry fucking ass?!" She grabbed him harder around his waist and snuggled into his chest as his arms closed around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry. Poor choice of words but I really did need to get out of the house. Draco's being himself and there's too many people in the house."

"I hate you so much, right now, Theo. And I have so many questions." She said as she stepped back and looked to the heavens for a saviour before stepping around him. "Put your bag by the door. I'll take you to meet my mum."

"I missed you too." He said and followed after her as she headed towards the barn.

…

"This is so nice. Nice and quiet." Theo sighed as they lounged on the couch that evening while her parents went to go check on the animals before heading to bed.

"You did say there were too many people at the manor… What was that about?" she questioned and turned to her stomach on the couch, to face him.

He kept staring at the ceiling as he answered her. "Pans is there most of the time, which probably wouldn't be an issue if she wasn't trying to glue herself to Draco… And then there are all of the guests. Lucius has a lot of them and there's all this talking behind closed doors. But when the doors are not closed, then they think they can do whatever they want with whatever or whoever they see fit. And then there's… him."

It was almost like he was talking in code, yet she understood perfectly fine what he meant.

"Has he really returned?" She whispered.

"Yes." He whispered back. "Thank Merlin he doesn't live at the manor, but sometimes it feels like he's there all the time and every good thing just vanishes. Cissa does what she can, but even she has her limits."

"I'm sure she's wonderful."

"She is. Both she and Lucius sends their love by the way, and hopes that they get to see you this summer… But I think they know that it would be farfetched to hope for, considering everything going on right now." He sighed hard, and leaned back until the back of his head hit the couch.

"Yeah." She breathed.

They were silent for so long that her parents finished their errands outside, said their goodnights and went to bed.

"Theo?" She whispered so suddenly it surprised even her. She hadn't fully figured out what she wanted to say, but needed to get it out nonetheless. When he hummed, she continued; "How is he?"

He didn't answer at first, and she started to wonder if he ever would, when he suddenly let go of a harsh breath. "Not good, Hermione." He didn't normally call her by her name. He never did, really. It gave her the chills. "I mean, it's not like we actually talk or anything like that - we're just existing in the same space… But he doesn't look like he's sleeping well and I don't think I've seen him smile yet this summer. Not a real smile at least."

They still weren't talking. If Theo couldn't talk to Draco or Pansy, who did he talk to in the middle of all of this?

"But Pansy-"

He suddenly moved and faced her fully. The intensity in his eyes made the breath catch in her throat. "Hermione, you need to understand one thing about Draco. He puts himself in some fucked up situations and it's not exactly in his vocabulary to ask for help."

…

July 26th, 1995

"HERMIONEEEEE!" Harry shouted loudly through the floo, causing Hermione to almost drop the glass she was holding in surprise. Rushing to the floo she kneeled in front of it to face her best friend.

Had something happened? Had there been an attack? Was someone dead?

"Are you absolutely mental Harry? What the hell?" She inquired quickly with a raised, unimpressed eyebrow and fear in her voice as she came face to face with a grin.

"Sorry." He said sheepishly, "Mum isn't too happy about it either, I'm telling you. Can we come play quidditch?"

She looked to the side to where Theo stood, looking both excited and scared at the same time. "Is that why you shout like you have a snake at your bloody heels?!" He just shrugged apologetically. "I kind of have non-Ronald-appropriate company over, Harry." Harry looked over her shoulder with a frown that changed to a grin, and she knew that Theo had stepped out of hiding.

"Do you play?" Harry asked Theo who nodded excitedly. "I'll think of something with Ron. See you soon!" He finished before disconnecting.

"Does he have any idea how dangerous it is for them to use the floo?" Theo asked once she stood back up.

"Yeah. But it was either that or complete isolation, and that didn't work out too well the last time." She shrugged, not wanting to go into detail. "So, this time, their floo is only connected to this house - and this house is only connected to them and my grandma's house - as far as I know, of course. So, it seems pretty safe at the moment."

"Huh. So, that's why I couldn't use it to get through."

"Yeah. I couldn't remember if I had told you in any of the letters that the floo was disconnected from you, so I didn't know how exactly you would get here. Or when, for that matter."

"I don't think you did, which might have been a good thing. This last letter you sent, had already been opened when I got it." He said, angrily. "I don't know who has the audacity to think that they can go through my mail, but we need to be careful."

She was stunned. Someone was reading her letters. Had she written anything about 'their course'? Had she said something that would get him in trouble? She couldn't think of anything at the moment... It was all just 'I'm bored, what are you doing today?' 'I just finished this book and that. Have you read it?' and so on.

She couldn't think of anything wrong with it, unless they figured out whom it was from. Good thing she had stopped signing her letters to him, then. She would probably have done the same with Draco, if they had had any kind of contact.

"By the way, why didn't Hensy bring you?" She asked as she remembered her unease the other day when he arrived. "I mean, Sura is nice and all, but it's usually Hensy that cares for the two of you when Lucius and Cissa can't."

"Hensy's dead."

Dead.

"Wha-what? What do you-" She almost couldn't speak the words. Hensy was dead.

"She was killed." Silence. One heartbeat. Two. Three. "A meeting went wrong last summer, and they… They killed her. Because they were angry." Maybe she should have been afraid of the anger that he was speaking of, or the anger that she could see he was holding in himself. Anger for a house elf that had helped raise him. Who had taken care of him. Anger at the world and for situations that he didn't and couldn't have any control over… So much anger.

But she didn't feel the anger directed at her, so instead of stepping away - she stepped forward.

"I'm sorry." She said softly, resting her hand on his arm. She noted the obvious surprise when his eyes met hers and she didn't know if it was because of her condolences or the touch. To be frank, either of those would be heartbreaking on their own. "I'm sorry you lost him. I know he meant a lot to you. And I'm sorry you have to live through all that."

"Oy, Hermione! What is it about you and those Slytherins?" She stepped back from Theo, rolling her eyes, and turned to face Harry. She hadn't even heard the floo activating.

She turned to him as Daniel exited the floo, followed by Ginny, Fred and George. "You know nothing, Harry Potter." She seethed half-heartedly, even as she was fighting to keep her smirk back.

"You know you love me." He said as he walked past her, clapping her on the shoulder as he did. "Come on, Nott, let's get it on."