Chapter 1: I have no friends

Friendships

To the common man they are the currency of life itself. An unseen bond between individuals, one can call friendships an integral part of the human experience. From going to school, playing a video game, or discussing hobbies, to have a friendship is to be self-indulgent, to engage in the pleasures of the flesh under the auspices of companionship. Illustrated as altruistic and self-sacrificing, far from their portrayal, friendships are simple transactional relationships- mutual understandings where both parties hope to take something from the other.

To offer an example I pose you the simple question Why is it that some people have more friends than others? Often others would cite personality or attitude as a response but is that really the case? The answer is clear. Look around your school or workplace and consider who ends up being the most popular? The pretty girls? The rich kids? The sport athletes- even our media glamorizes these archetypes basing them off a common truth: those who have something to offer will by nature simply have more friends compared to those seen without.

So what does that mean?

Far from their idealistic portrayal , to attempt a friendship is to cast your net in hopes of a mutual exchange. Pouring time, energy, and effort, forging a friendship is like making a gamble, the ultimate goal to receive something in return. Maybe you'll receive a listening ear, financial help, social status, a gaming companion, something of utility. Yet the minute your efforts aren't reciprocated, your friendship ends. Like a flopped investment, the minute you fail to provide value to your so-called "friends," the charade of companionship shatters as you are quickly abandoned and ignored.

No longer seen as useful, the vaunted bonds of friendship which you so lovingly cherished were nothing more than a glorified give and take.

In the end, the only person you can truly rely on is yourself. And that's the only companionship I'll ever need.

With each passing word, I watch worriedly as Hiratsuka-sensei's eyes grow increasingly narrow, her disappointment clear to see. Looking up to glare at me, I can't help but squirm under her fiery glaze, my heart clenching in fear at the thought of potential punishment.

I thought the essay was one of my better ones though …

Scrunching my paper, I watched with bated breath as my Japanese teacher began to speak, her voice gravely low.

"Hikigaya, can you remind me what the prompt for this assignment was?"

"To reflect on our high school life."

It was an obvious question, one that I had admittedly skirted around when writing.

Flashing a grin which didn't quite reach her eyes, Hiratsuka-sensei continues. " Why then, did you turn a paper full of half baked philosophical ramblings?"

"I thought an introspective piece would accurately reflect how I viewed my high school experience."

"Don't play smart with me kid." Sensei scoffs, her beautiful features turning ugly. Watching her eyes shoot daggers at me I couldn't help but be reminded of a certain annoyance which followed me from middle school. Cursing my cruel fate, a bundle of papers strikes my head, yanking me back to the present situation.

"Pay attention brat."

"Yes Sensei."

"Didn't your mother teach you to pay attention to a girl when she is speaking? At this rate you'll end up single."

"... I guess that that would put us in the same boat then."

Woosh

Before I could even realize, a powerful gust of wind had grazed my cheek. A few centimeters beside my face was a closed first, radiating an ominous aura.

"Do continue please" she urges, her voice dripping with mock cheer.

For a teacher she was seriously scary.

"I'll redo the essay" I quickly offer, getting the message.

"Seriously… you're like a five-year kid trapped in a thirty-year old body." I mutter softly to myself.

Bam*

It hurts- immediately I fall out of my chair gasping for air, my lungs on fire as they recoil from the ruthless assault.

"Y-You- brat" Sensei stammers, her eyes glassy, " I'm still in my twenties!"

It was a sad sight, seeing a grown woman brought so low by reality, one that made me feel a bit guilty.

"I'm sorry. I'll send you the revised essay by tomorrow."

"Not so fast. For hurting a woman's heart I'm giving you another punishment. From now on you will join the Service Club where you will learn how to properly interact and function in society. I will accept no objections or complaints."

Standing up with the excitement of a newborn chick, I watch Hiratsuka-sensei move to the exit and usher me to follow her.

Just as I'm about to begrudgingly comply, the door to the teacher suite's swings open and out struts the bane of my adolescent existence.

Wearing her usual pristine white cap, I can't help but feel a growing sense of annoyance watching her fierce expression as she marches in, scowling as she spots me on the ground.

"Oi Zombie-eyes." she sharply remarks, her dark brown eyes radiating entitlement, "You promised me yesterday night, that you'll help me work on the Japanese Essay after school today. I wasted 15 minutes trying to find your dumbass. "

"In case you haven't noticed you meathead I'm a bit preoccupied right now." I snarked back.

"Hmph-fine. Just have the essay finished by tonight when I come over."

"I see that your intelligence hasn't changed the same since middle school, Basterbine."

She did realize that the Japanese teacher was in front of us right?

A/N: Just a small plot bunny I had from reading an Oregairu fanfiction on Pixiv where Hikigaya is a Quincy. Anyways this is just something I decided to write for fun after wondering how Hikigaya would interact with a "Bad girl" character who is crude, crass, and sort of an asshole. If he hates nice girls so much, I wonder what his feelings for the opposite are. Anyways I hope you enjoy and as always feedback is appreciated.

Story wise, I don't really plan on including any of the supernatural elements from Bleach though I am considering introducing a few of the Bambies.