Disclaimer: I might be standing behind you or hiding under your bed . . .

Harry Moody III

"Ms. Granger," Minerva yelled in an attempt to get her student's attention. "I would like to know why you weren't in your dormitory last night."

"Hmmm?" Hermione looked up with a dazed expression, "do you think he really meant it when he said that my eyes sparkled like the stars and my beauty was such that even a memory would keep him warm in the coldest of storms? I'm not sure if he was serious about my lips tasting of liquid chocolate that inflames his soul with desire, it's a nice thought though."

"I take it you have a boyfriend then." The head of house asked with a frown, "starting younger and younger . . . on the other hand, this would explain what happened to Mr. Weasley. What's his name?"

"He calls me his goddess of wisdom and I call him Constant," Hermione grinned. "Isn't that grand? Oh, it's just like I'm a princess in one of those fairy tales that I pretend not to be interested in."

"Twenty points if you can tell me the first rule of transfiguration." Minerva smirked, if this didn't snap the girl out of her delirium then she'd be forced to use her flying monkeys . . . that is to say, that she'd be all out of options.

"Ohhh, he's so handsome and strong." Hermione giggled again, "and the way he refuses to turn his back to me is sooo romantic."

"You win this round Ms. Granger," Minerva gave a horrifying grin. "But next time you won't be so lucky, ehehehehehehehe . . . " she stopped in mid laugh, maybe is was time for a vacation.

As the professor stalked off to rest, or use her transfiguration skills to create horrifying crosses between monkeys and birds. Hermione found herself surrounded by gossip starved girls, all wanting to know every single detail of the time she had spent with her new boyfriend.

IIIIIIIIII

"My chamber," Evil Possessed Ginny smiled. "How I've missed you." The girl possessed by the dark lord walked into the chamber, "come out and cleanse the world of Mud bloods . . . I said come out and cleanse the world. Wake up you stupid snake."

"I don't appreciate you calling me a stupid snake," a cold gravely voice replied from behind the dark girl.

"What?" Evil Ginny spun around.

"I said that I don't appreciate you calling me a stupid snake," Harry's eye whirled.

"Who are you?" Evil Ginny's eyes widened, "how did you find this place?"

"Those are my questions," Harry gave an evil leer. "Time to die."

"Wait!" Tom did not like the calm way the strange boy had spoken. "I'm a spirit in possession of this body, if you kill me then you'll be killing an innocent too."

"That complicates things," Harry frowned. "On the other hand I've already seduced one girl into silence and Pop says that they don't like it when you do more then one at a time for some reason . . . goodbye."

"Wait again," Ginny screamed. "He's in my diary, destroy the diary and you'll destroy him."

"Fine," Harry sighed as he took the evil book. "Don't move from that spot."

Harry took care of the book with a few well placed spells and went off in search for the witness he'd had to seduce.

IIIIIIIIII

"And that's why . . . can I help you with something?" Snape glared at the interruption.

"No," Harry shook his head. "I'm just here change your memories and take her away."

"Ok," Hermione stood. "Let's go."

"Sit down or I'll take a thousand points from your pathetic house," Snape screamed. "What makes you think that you can just come in hear and defeat us all?"

"Because I already did," Harry yawned. "You'd think a Potions Master would have noticed the additive I put in his food . . . but I guess that you're better at baiting then potions."

"What?" Snape and most of the students slumped to the ground.

"Ready to go Hermione?" Harry yawned.

"Aren't you going to mess with their memories?" Hermione looked around the room.

"No need," Harry smirked. "I've been experimenting with a new potion that will wipe the last fifteen minutes of memories."

"Oh," Hermione nodded. "Any side effects?"

"Explosive bowel disruption and violent nightmares," Harry nodded. "But only when mixed with certain hair products."

"Ok," Hermione shouldered her bag. "What did you want to talk with me about?"

"Found another girl that I can't Obliviate," Harry frowned. "So I was going to ask you if you had any idea what I should do . . . dad said that girls didn't like it when you seduced more then one at a time."

"Why don't you take me to go see her and we can decide what to do then," Hermione suggested as the two of them walked out of the room. "So . . . exactly how did this all happen?"

"Well . . ."

In the class room behind them, Draco and Snape soiled themselves . . . then began to scream. The were discovered half an hour later when the next class showed up . . . the students looked at each other and as one decided to pick up their sleeping class mates and to leave Draco and Snape to their fates.

IIIIIIIIII

"So that's how it all happened," Harry put a large plate in front of both girls and another in front of himself.

"This is good," Ginny smiled. "What is it?"

"Yeah," Hermione agreed. "I didn't know you could cook?"

"Family tradition," Harry gave a suspicious glance at the two girls.

"So what is it?" Ginny prompted.

"Tandoori Basilisk," Harry grunted.

"Oh," the girls froze. "Where did you get the Basilisk?"

"Found it in here last year," Harry took another bite. "Enough meat to keep me fed for the next few years . . . it was a big one."

"Oh," Hermione poked her meal with her fork.

"Yeah," Ginny agreed.

"I don't think it will be necessary to seduce her to keep Ginny from talking," Hermione smiled at the other girl. "I'm sure she'll keep quiet."

"I disagree," Ginny shook her head. "The only way you can trust me is if you seduce me . . . who knows what I'll do if you leave things to chance."

"Don't listen to her," Hermione's smile widened. "She's the sort of person you can trust to keep quiet . . . right?"

"No," Ginny shook her head. "I'm a blabber mouth, the only way to be sure is if you seduce me . . . you do want to be sure don't you?"

"I don't think pop ever told me what to do in this situation," Harry said with a rather frightening frown. "I'm going to have to write to him."

"I'm sure he'll say that she can be trusted to keep her mouth shut," Hermione said. "RIGHT GINNY?"

"No," Ginny disagreed. "Seduction is the only way to be sure."

AN: I know it's short but it's also an odd idea so that's ok, I've got Luna on the brain and I don't want to add her to this. Omake is below. I've got another odd idea about how Dobby goes back in time to save Harry Potter sir when he is a young Harry Potter sir, who knows if that will get written and who knows why I told you all about it.
Omake: What can I say, I've got Luna on the brain.

"I'm sure he'll say that she can be trusted to keep her mouth shut," Hermione said. "RIGHT GINNY?"

"No," Ginny disagreed. "Seduction is the only way to be sure."

"I agree," Luna entered the conversation. "Harry has to seduce all of us."

"Where'd you come from?" Everyone looked at the odd girl.

"That door over there," Luna replied. "there's a secret passage from the girl's showers to this room filled with all sorts of dirty pictures and from the room to here."