Disclaimer: Going back in time to kill people again is probably against the law, I suppose that you could argue double jeopardy at your trial though so you only go to prison for one murder . . . might even be able to sue the police for some reason.
Play it Again Sam
It had been one week since he had killed Voldemort and every death eater and Harry Potter didn't know what to do next. His friends were dead, his family was dead, his enemies were dead, most of his acquaintances were dead and . . . well, you get the idea.
Harry looked around, it looked like he was sitting in St. Mungos getting treated for alcohol poisoning, the victory party was a killer.
"Um . . . Mr. Potter," the nervous healer said, well . . . nervously.
"Yeah?" Harry giggled.
"It is my sad duty to tell you that the person you broght in with you has fallen into a coma."
"Coma?" Harry asked with a crazed grin.
"Yes coma," the healer confirmed. "And, well I hate to tell you this but your wife is dead."
"Wife?" Harry asked in confusion. "I don't have a wife . . . do I?"
"You got married during the victory celebrations," the Healer replied. "A rat turned into a man and killed her three seconds after you said your vows."
"Hmmm," Harry hmmmed. "Short fat guy? I carved out his spleen and forced him to eat it?"
"Yes sir," the healer said quickly. "Then you spent the next two hours torturing him to death."
"I might recall something like that," Harry said with another giggle.
"Yes . . . well." The healer wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Why don't I just step outside the room then?"
"Ok," Harry agreed with another insane giggle.
The healer left the room and hurried down the hall to a group of waiting men.
"Well?" One of the men asked impatiently.
"I'm sorry Minister," the healer began. "But Harry Potter is insane."
"We expected that," one of the other men spoke up. "I wouldn't expect anyone to be whole after the deaths of everyone they cared about and more exposure crucios then anyone has ever suffered without becoming a drooling idiot."
"What can we do with him?" The Minister turned to his flunkies, "he's too dangerous to keep around and too dangerous to send assassins after."
"I'll go talk to him," one of the younger men said suddenly. "With any luck I can persuade him to leave the wizarding world."
"Suggest that he go to Siberia," the Minister commanded. "Nothing there that we care about."
"I will sir," the flunky agreed with a sigh. The flunky took one deep breath to steady his nerves and walked up the hall to the crazed hero's room.
"Mr. Potter?" The flunky called out as he entered the room.
"Got someone for me to kill?" Harry asked eagerly, "it's been almost two days since I killed someone and I'm getting a bit antsy."
"No sir," the flunky replied.
"No enemies of the wizarding world?" Harry begged, "dark lords? Dark creatures? Tax men? There's got to be someone."
"No sir," the flunky said. "I'm afraid that you killed them all and I dare say that with you around there won't be any new ones."
"I killed them all? No new ones," Harry whined. "What am I going to do now?"
"I hear Siberia is a good place to retire," the flunky suggested nervously.
"You don't know what you've got till it's gone," Harry lamented.
"What's that sir?" The flunky asked.
"I'll just have to go back," Harry said to himself. "Plenty of enemies in the past . . . and if it was fun to kill them the first time then it'll be even better to do it again. I'll even be able to get a few that the others got."
"Um . . . sir?" The flunky was trying to decide if wetting himself might be the best course of action.
"Yeah, that's the ticket." Harry agreed to himself, "I'll go back in time."
"I really don't think . . ."
"Thanks buddy," Harry said to the flunky. "That was a great idea you gave me."
"Um . . ."
And with that, Harry cast some sort of strange spell to cast his soul back into his younger body or something. Don't ask me what he did, I'm not an expert on this sort of thing I just record what happened . . . hey, you try balancing time to work, write, live, eat, etc. I don't have the time to learn magic and complex temporal theory, I've got bills to pay and there are only so many hours in the day. I'm not going to talk about this anymore, let's just get back to the story.
It was the first day of Harry's fourth year of school and the great hall waited in silence to hear the Headmaster's announcement.
"I did it," Harry screamed out in joy. "Yes."
"Is there something you'd like to share with us Harry?" The Headmaster asked kindly.
"I'm back baby," Harry replied loudly. "And the streets will run red with the blood of my enemies."
"Sit down Potter," Snape hissed.
"Piss off," Harry replied with a grin.
"Um . . . why did you see fit to interrupt me Harry?" Dumbledore tried again.
"Hmmmm?" Harry's eyes turned to regard the Headmaster, "what was your name again? Dumdum right, well here's what happened Dumdum . . ."
"It's Dumbledore," the Headmaster interrupted.
"Whatever," Harry said dismissively. "I was just happy that my spell worked."
"What spell was that?" Dumbledore asked with a grin.
"My spell to send myself back in time," Harry replied. "I come from a horrendous future where everything is evil and most everyone is dead . . . except for that first year over there, he's in a coma."
The indicated first year shrunk away from the curious stares, "coma?"
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Coma."
What happened?" Another student asked.
"He got drunk and ate a toad, then he jumped off a building." Harry said quietly, "it was the celebration of the second downfall of Voldemort and well . . . let's just say things got a little nuts."
"For what purpose have you come back to this time?" Dumbledore asked, "was it to stop the war?"
"I guess you could say that," Harry agreed. "Mostly I came back so I could kill all those damn death eaters again . . . reducto." Harry shot a curse at the surprised potions master.
"What are you doing Harry," Dumbledore asked quickly. "Stop this."
"Why?" Harry asked with a frown as he cast a rather painful dark hex at the Potions master.
"What are you doing Potter?" Snape screamed as he dodged out of the way.
"You killed Dumbles in my fifth year," Harry explained as he shot a few more curses at the greasy man. "Killing you the first time was so fun that I just had to do it again . . . anyone wanna know how I did it last time?"
"I do," Ron shouted. "Was it slow?"
"Very," Harry agreed.
"What did you do?" Ron was bouncing in his chair, "come on mate . . . tell me."
"I used a whither charm on him," one of Harry's hexes finally connected with the greasy man and Snape fell to the ground screaming. "This time I turned his blood to acid . . . always liked that hex."
"Harry, I demand that you stop with this foolishness right now." Dumbledore commanded as he cast the counter curse to save Snape's life, "you can not do this."
"Why?" Harry asked with an expression of innocence that no one believed for a second . . . well, no one except for Hagrid.
"Because you can't just go around killing people because of what they might do." Hermione replied with a frown, "he hasn't killed Dumbledore yet."
"So I can't kill him for killing Dumdum?" Harry sagged.
"Yes," Hermione agreed. "It would be wrong to kill him for that."
"Then I'm going to kill him for what he's already done," Harry said enthusiastically. "He's a rat bastard who's done his best to make my life difficult and I'm sure that he's done the same to other people, he's probably killed a few innocent people in his time as a death eater too."
Everyone turned to hear Hermione's rebuttal causing the girl to redden and sink into her seat.
"That was my only argument," Hermione admitted. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to stop killing people until I can think of another argument?"
"Nope," Harry said cheerfully. "Reducto."
Draco made a sick gurgling sound as his lower jaw shattered, showering his house mates with blood and tooth fragments.
"Damn it Harry." Hermione screamed, "you can't just go around killing everyone."
"Yes I can," Harry disagreed.
"No you can't," Hermione argued. "He hasn't done anything that warrants death."
"He's a death eater," Harry said with a grin. "And it was really fun to kill him the first time, he made a sort of squeaking squeal and it was so funny."
"Tell me about it mate," Ron suggested earning a withering glare from his other friend.
"He didn't last too long," Harry said sadly. "Died after only a few minutes."
"Shut up Ron," Hermione growled. "And stop it Harry."
"Ok," Harry said sadly. "Hey, what's that behind you?"
"Where?" Hermione turned to look.
"Reducto." Harry blasted the Divination Professor's face through the back of her head.
"And I suppose that you're going to say that she was a death eater too?" Hermione asked sarcasticly.
"Um . . . yes?" Harry agreed quickly.
"Screw it," Hermione said. The girl threw up her hands and sat down. "Kill whoever you want, I don't care."
"Great," Harry said in a voice filled with joy. "That's what I came back to do and I'm glad I have your support on this."
"Wait," Hermione called out. Harry had disappeared and every face in the great hall was turned toward her. "I was using reverse psychology." Hermione explained lamely.
AN: This is just an expansion of an omake I did, idea popped into my head so I had to write it. The original omake is below.
The Omake that spawned this odd idea.
Time Travel
A harry from a terrible future goes back in time to fix things . . . or something.
It was the beginning of . . . let's say fourth year, and the students had just completed their sorting.
"It worked," Harry suddenly stood up and began to shout. "I'm back baby."
"Is there some reason that you saw fit to disturb us Mr. Potter?" Snape growled, being the only teacher that wasn't frozen in shock.
"Yeah," Harry replied with a grin. "I come from a horrendous future where everything is evil and most everyone is dead . . . except for that first year over there, he's in a coma."
The indicated first year shrunk away from the curious stares, "coma?"
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Coma."
"What happened?" Another student asked.
"He got drunk and ate a toad, then he jumped off a building." Harry said quietly, "it was the celebration of the second downfall of Voldemort and well . . . let's just say things got a little nuts."
"For what purpose have you come back to this time?" Dumbledore asked, "was it to stop the war?"
"I guess you could say that," Harry agreed. "Mostly I came back so I could kill all those damn death eaters again . . . reducto." Harry shot a curse at the surprised potions master.
"What are you doing Potter?" Snape screamed as he dodged out of the way.
"You killed Dumbles in my fifth year," Harry explained as he shot a few more curses at the greasy man. "Killing you the first time was so fun that I just had to do it again . . . anyone wanna know how I did it last time?"
"I do," Ron shouted. "Was it slow?"
"Very," Harry agreed.
"What did you do?" Ron was bouncing in his chair, "come on mate . . . tell me."
"I used a whither charm on him," one of Harry's hexes finally connected with the greasy man and Snape fell to the ground screaming. "This time I turned his blood to acid . . . always liked that hex."
"Harry, I demand that you stop with this foolishness right now." Dumbledore commanded, "you can not do this."
"Yeah," Hermione agreed. "You can't just go around killing people because of what they might do."
"I agree Hermione," Harry agreed. "I killed Snape because he's a bastard that killed innocent people in the past and because he was always being a jerk to me and my friends."
"Damn it Harry," Hermione screamed. "That was my only argument . . . I don't suppose you'd be willing to stop killing people until I can think of another argument?"
"Reducto." Harry blasted Draco's face through the back of his head. "Nope."
"Damn it Harry." Hermione screamed, "you can't just go around killing everyone."
"He was a death eater," Harry said simply. "Reducto."
"And I suppose that you're going to tell me that trelany is a death eater too?" Hermione scowled.
"Um . . . yes?" Harry blinked, "of course . . . a death eater . . . I'd never just kill someone because they annoyed me."
"I'm gonna let that one go," Hermione said after a moment of thought.
Three days later . . .
"Hey Hermione?" Ron called out, "what's the weather look like outside."
"Let me check the window," Hermione put down her book and glanced out. "Damn it Harry."
"What is it?" One of the students called out.
"It's raining bodies out there." Hermione noticed the incredulous looks, "really . . . Harry cast some sort of blasting charm on a group of death eaters."