Disclaimer: Don't anger house elves, I can't be held responsible for the consequences.

Dobby Saves the Day

The war was going badly and the light saw only one hope to win, a crazy desperate hope that had only a snowball's chance of succeeding. They would send back their greatest warrior, a warrior that had been forged in the fires of war and tempered by the fact that he was the sole survivor of what had once been a mighty army.

"Dobby did it," the little elf cheered. "Dobby is back in time." Let's just say that casualties were more severe then the public had been led to believe.

"What are you muttering about you stupid elf?" Lucius growled.

"Shut up," Dobby said happily. "Dobby has to rebuild a happy memory now," the little elf explained.

"Whurk," Lucius . . . gurgled? I'm not sure that's the right word but screw it, not like anyone will care . . . well maybe some people will care but I'm just too tired to make the effort to look up something else. I'm tired and my feet hurt, stupid work, stupid not being rich.

"Hee hee hee," Dobby giggled. "You is a bad death eater. Dobby is sorry, but he has to put you down now." War had hardened the little elf.

"What?" Lucius's eyes widened in fear, "house elves can't kill people."

"Hee hee hee," Dobby giggled again. "You had a funny look on your face. Dobby is just kidding." Just kidding, Dobby is Dobby no matter what. A homicidal house elf would be fun, but that's not this story. "Dobby has to change your memory."

"House elves can't do that sort of magic," Lucius said arrogantly. "Now go flog yourself for bothering me and if you're lucky I won't have you gelded."

"You is right," Dobby agreed. "So Dobby won't use magic to modify your memory."

"Then what . . . " Lucius cut off when he noticed the large club in house elf's small hands. "Oh hell."

One savage beating later and Dobby was ready to start the next stage of his plan.

"Dobby is ready to start the next phase of his plan," Dobby cheered. The little house elf popped out of the Malfoy home and to the Potter home, the ancestral Potter home that was never mentioned in the books because . . . I said so.

"Who is you?" An ancient voice demanded.

"Dobby is Dobby," Dobby replied. "Who is you?"

"Sneezy is Sneezy," a very old house elf replied. "Where is Harry Potter sir?"

"Harry Potter sir is in a bad place," Dobby said sadly. "But we can not rescue him because it would destroy his wards."

"Not rescue Harry Potter sir?"

"But we'z can make Harry Potter sir's life better," Dobby replied.

"Sneezy will find Harry Potter sir a wife," Sneezy volunteered.

"Dobby likes Harry Potter sir's Hermy," Dobby suggested.

"Is Harry Potter sir's Hermy a pureblood?" Sneezy asked.

"No," Dobby replied. "Harry Potter sir's Hermy is not a nasty pureblood."

"Sneezy wants a pureblood," Sneezy replied. "Harry Potter sir must have a pureblood."

"Dobby doesn't like purebloods," Dobby said. "Harry Potter sir should have his Hermy."

"Sneezy has been breeding Potter sirs for years," Sneezy said. "Sneezy thinks a pureblood is the right thing to add to the line."

"Dobby thinks Harry Potter sir's Hermy is good," Dobby maintained. "She is kind and smart and nice."

"James Potter sir's Silly Lilly was good," Sneezy allowed. "It is too bad that there are not more Potter sirs, we could have a contest to see which was a better wife."

"You is a genius," Dobby said happily. "We needs more Potter sirs and we need a contest."

"And it will make more Potter sirs," Sneezy agreed. "I will get a pureblood and you will get Harry Potter sir's Hermy."

"Dobby must make Harry Potter sir's life better now," Dobby said sadly. "So Dobby must wait for later."

"Harry Potter sir is more important." Sneezy agreed.

"Dobby is going now," Dobby said and popped out.

"Sneezy must find a pureblood for Harry Potter sir," Sneezy mused. "Sneezy knows it, Loveygoods are great wizards, Sneezy will get one of those." With that decided, Sneezy popped to the nearest location he could sense Loveygoods. Sneezy appeared before a small blond crying girl and decided to take a moment to plot out his next move. "What is wrong?"

"There's something wrong with mummy," the small girl replied between sobs.

"Sneezy will look," Sneezy looked past the little girl to see an older blond laying on the ground. "Does little blond girl want Sneezy to make everything better?"

"Make mummy better," Luna ordered.

"Ok," Sneezy agreed. With a snap of his might fingers, the woman was well again. "All done."

"Who are you?" Luna's mother asked weakly.

"Sneezy is Sneezy," the house elf replied. "Is you ok now?"

"I think so," the woman agreed. "What are you doing here."

"Sneezy came to find a Loveygood girl," Sneezy replied.

"Why'd you do that?" A calming Luna managed to whisper.

"Sneezy thinks there need to be more Potter sirs," Sneezy replied. "And Sneezy thinks that a Loveygood would be good for Harry Potter sir."

IIIIIIIIII

"Mum, dad." Dudley was also sobbing.

"What is it son?" Vernon asked, "did that little freak bother you?"

"No," Dudders managed to croak.

"Then what is it?" Petunia asked as she took Dudley into her arms.

"There's an evil monkey that lives in my closet," Dudley explained.

"What?" Vernon asked flatly.

"There's an evil monkey in my closet," Dudley repeated. "I don't wanna live in that room any more."

"That's fine darling," Petunia replied. "We'll move you to the guest room."

"And I'll go up and give that monkey a good thrashing," Vernon added. "And maybe that little freak too, I'm sure this is all his doing."

"Ok I . . ." Dudley's eyes widened in fear as he saw Dobby glaring at him from the staircase, finger and arm extended. "Don't want the freak to get hit, make him live with the evil monkey."

"Son I . . ." Vernon began.

"Make him live with the evil monkey," Dudley's whiny demand interrupted his father.

AN: Dobby goes back in time, I don't believe I've seen this one.