Disclaimer: Not gonna do it

Let Them Eat Cake

Tears flowed down Harry's cheeks as he listened to Sirius's will wind to a close.

"And to my godson Harry Potter," the Solicitor read. "I leave my fortune, the remainder of my possessions, and my position as head of the Black family."

"What?" The matron of the Malfoy family paled, "oh Sirius why?"

"That mutt had no right to give Potter my money," Draco agreed. "I demand . . ."

"Be quiet Draco," Narcissa snapped. "For once in your life be quiet."

"Mother I . . ." Draco stammered.

"Please forgive him," Narcissa ignored her son and turned to Harry. "He takes after his father and I'm afraid that I haven't been as good a mother as I should have been, I beg you hold off judgement until after I've had a chance to exert my influence upon him."

"Sure," replied an amused and confused Harry. "I guess so."

"Thank you," Narcissa nodded and swept out of the room trailed by her only son.

"Mother what was . . ."

"Quiet Draco," Narcissa's voice was full of barley suppressed rage. "I have allowed your father to have a free hand in your upbringing long enough, to think that you almost . . . just be quiet and come along."

"Yes mother," Draco agreed meekly.

"And don't dawdle," Narcissa called over her shoulder. "We have to get home soon so I can get some business conducted."

"Yes mother," Draco said quietly.

The Malfoys walked out of Gringotts and towards the nearest public floo connection.

"You go first," Narcissa commanded.

"Why can't we use a portkey?" Draco whined.

"I told you to do something," Narcissa said calmly. "And you haven't done it, should I conclude that you didn't hear me the first time or should I conclude that you need to be punished more then I had originally thought?"

"I'm going," Draco said quickly.

"Good." Narcissa watched her son disappear into the flames and soon followed. Deep in thought, she nearly lost her footing when she exited in the Malfoy family sitting room. "Go to your room Draco," She said without looking at her child. "We'll speak later."

"Yes mother"

Narcissa waited until he child left the room before casting a handful of floo powder into the flames. "Bella, I need you."

"What is it Cissy?" Her sister's face appeared. "Has that husband of yours gone too far?"

"He and I are going to have a little talk about how our son has been raised but I don't need you to do anything about him yet," Narcissa replied with a fond smile. "It's about Harry Potter."

"What about him?" Bellatrix asked harshly.

"He's the new head of the Black family," Narcissa said dryly.

"I see," Bellatrix said calmly. "Have you arranged a suitable match?"

"I thought it best to consult you and Andy before I did that," Narcissa replied. "After all, you both have a stake in this."

"I haven't seen Andy in . . . quite some time," Bellatrix said in delight. "I'm coming through."

Narcissa stepped back and watched her sister step through the fire, "should we call ahead or just show up on her doorstep?" She said with a smile.

"Andy and I weren't on the best of terms the last time we spoke," Bellatrix said with a wince. "I think it'd be best to surprise her."

"I agree," Narcissa spoke slowly. "Follow me," she commanded as she stepped through the fireplace.

"Hello Andy," Narcissa said to her surprised sister. "Long time."

"Cissy?" Andromeda said in shock, "Bella . . . it's come to this then, you're going to kill me."

"We intend to do no such thing," Narcissa said sharply. "Do we Bella?"

"Of course not," Bellatrix agreed. "Besides, with you on this side it insures that the family survives no matter who wins."

"It may sound strange," Andromeda said slowly. "But it's good to see you both, I missed you."

"And we you," Narcissa replied. "We shall have to do this again after we've finished with our business."

"We could make it a point to have tea every week," Bellatrix offered.

"Tea?" Andromeda asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I like tea," Bella defended herself.

"As do I," Narcissa agreed. "How is young Dora?"

"Still insisting that we call her by her family name," Andy said with an exasperated sigh. "I give her a fine first name and what does she do?"

"She'll come around," Bella comforted her sister. "I'm sure it's just a phase she's going through."

"That's not the worst of it," Andy said with a sigh. "She's decided that she's in love with that werewolf friend of Sirius's."

"You want me to do something about that?" Bella asked innocently.

"No need," Andy said quickly. "He has no intention of allowing things to procede. Ted spoke with him and he said that even without mentioning the whole werewolf thing, that he was too old for her."

"It's good for a young girl to pine after an older man," Narcissa spoke up. "So long as the older man isn't the sort to take advantage of the situation."

"Getting back to the subject," Andromeda spoke suddenly. "Why did the two of you decide to visit?"

"Harry Potter," Bellatrix replied.

"What about him?"

"He's the new head of the Black family," Narcissa explained. "And we thought it best to seek your aid."

"In finding him a suitable match," Andy finished. "Of course I'll help sister dear."

"What about that daughter of yours?" Bellatrix suggested, "she's the only female in the proper age group with any Black blood."

"But she's also a half blood," Narcissa added. "No offence Andy dear."

"None taken," Andromeda replied. "Though it would keep her from getting her heart broken in a bad relationship, I've heard from Molly that the Potter boy is quite sweet."

"The Weasleys are a possibility," Narcissa mused. "They do have a daughter."

"I don't know if I want to inflict Molly as a mother in law on the poor boy," Andromeda said with a grin.

The three sisters debated the issue for hours, rejecting several families for being 'too light' or 'too dark' until finally Narcissa offered a suggestion.

"What about the Lovegood girl?" Narcissa said suddenly. "She's open minded, pureblood, and won't try to kill any of us out of hand. Besides, I always liked her hair."

"Isn't that family a bit . . ." Bellatrix pointed to her ear and made a circular motion with her finger.

"I've heard that she's very loyal to her friends," Andromeda said, biting her tongue to prevent herself from mentioning that Bellatrix was the last person that should be questioning someone's sanity.

"And she's also one of the Potter boy's friends," Narcissa settled the issue. "Either of you disagree?"

"No"

"Nope"

"Then let us be off," Narcissa said. "Andy, would you mind making us a Portkey?"

"Of course," Andromeda said with a smile. "What are sisters for?"

Andromeda created the portkey and held it out for her sisters. "Is everyone touching it? Then here we go."

The three sisters landed in front of the Lovegood residence and Bellatrix took the lead. "Allow me," Bella said with a grin. "I'm good with children." Bellatrix walked up to the door and knocked three times.

Luna answered the door and blinked at her visitor. "Ahh Bellatrix Lestrange," Luna said calmly. "Are you here to kill me? Because if you are, I have a cake baking and if you'd be willing to wait a few minutes then I'll share it with you so we can both get a good meal before we fight to the death."

"Why did you scream like that?" Bellatrix asked, "don't get me wrong. I'm use to hearing screams when I show myself but I've never heard someone scream so calmly."

"I don't want to ruin my cake," Luna replied.

"Oh," Bellatrix gave a slow nod. "I guess that makes sense . . . have you met my sisters?"

"Hello Mrs. Malfoy," Luna said politely. "Mrs. Tonks."

"Call me Andy," Andromeda said with a smile.

"And call me Cissy."

"Are you here to kill me too?" Luna asked innocently.

"We aren't here to kill you," Andromeda said firmly.

"Then you're here to seduce me?" Luna said enthusiastically, clapping her hands. "Oh it'll be so much fun."

"We aren't here to seduce you either," Narcissa said calmly.

"Oh poo," Luna said in disappointment. "What are you here for then?"

"What do you think of Harry Potter?" Narcissa asked.

"He's my friend," Luna said calmly. "Why?"

"How'd you like to marry him?" Bellatrix suggested.

"Ok," Luna agreed. "It sounds like it could be fun . . . my cake. Excuse me a moment."

"That went well," Andromeda said as Luna rushed into the house.

"Of course it did," Bellatrix agreed. "She said yes."

"I'm sorry about that," Luna called out. "I forgot all about the cake."

"Perfectly alright," Bellatrix comforted the girl.

"Would the three of you like to come in?" Luna asked politely. "I have a fresh cake and I can't eat all of it myself."

"We'd love to," Narcissa accepted. "So about your marriage to young Mr. Potter."

"I'd like a small wedding," Luna replied. "Just family and a few friends."

"Sensible," Andromeda agreed. "Don't let them make a media event out of it."

"You'll look so beautiful in your wedding dress." Bellatrix smiled, "oh it'll be so much fun."

"Oh poo," Luna said with a frown. "I forgot something."

"What is it dear?"

"Hermione," Luna replied. "Cho says that she's very jealous and territorial, I'll never be able to marry Harry without thinking of some way to neutralising her."

"I'd be happy to take care of that little problem for you Luna," Bellatrix offered.

"That would only make Harry angry with me," Luna declined. "And I want my marriage to work."

"Too much divorce these days," Andy agreed. "It's good to see a girl with some sense."

"Would you be adverse to the idea of allowing Harry to take her as a mistress?" Narcissa asked calmly, "it would solve several problems."

"What a wonderful idea," Luna enthused. "The more the merrier."

"It could also provide you with a way to harness Dora," Bellatrix suggested.

"If I can convince her to agree," Andromeda sighed. "She seems intent on defying me every chance she gets."

"Then forbid her from doing it," Narcissa spoke up.

"That may work," Andromeda mused.

"How do we convince Hermione to Become Harry's mistress?" Bellatrix asked.

"Leave everything to me," Luna said confidently. "The Black family does have an extensive library doesn't it?"

"Yes it does," Narcissa agreed. "Why?"

"Books," Luna explained. "Are Hermione's weakness, if I have enough books then I can bribe her."

"I'll give you the Malfoy library as a wedding present then," Narcissa offered. "Lucius never uses the thing and it's just taking up space."

"You can have any of my husband's books," Bellatrix agreed. "I dubt he can read anymore."

"Oh thank you so much," Luna shouted. "How's your cake?"

"You're quite a talented cook," Bellatrix replied. "Would you like to join us for our weekly tea?"

"I'd love to," Luna agreed. "It'll be ever so much fun."

AN: I still need to think of a title for this, 1st runner up is 'Cake or Death?' Tell me what you all think.