Disclaimer: It is almost certainly illegal to use Truth Potions on unwilling subjects in your jurisdiction. We advise you to check your local laws before attempting anything in this fic . . . unless you're a renagade cop like Inspector Callahan, then you can do whatever you want and far be it for me to tell you what to do.

Special Inspector Harry Potter AKA Dirty Harry

"Quite an interesting trial was it not Mr. Potter?" Madame Bones asked with a grin.

"Yes it was," Harry agreed. "I never thought I could get into so much trouble by trying to save my life."

"About that," Bones said. "I may have a proposition for you."

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"I want you to come work for me," Bones said simply.

"Me," Harry sighed. "So what? Do I become an Auror or something?"

"It takes three years to become an Auror and I need you now," Bones frowned. "Not after you get through school and Auror training . . . are you willing to try something different?"

"What?" Harry's eyes narrowed.

"I have a few strings I can pull," Bones replied. "And the standards to become a hit wizard are much lower then those to become an Auror."

"Where would I get my training?" Harry leaned forward, "I'm still in school."

"More strings," Bones smiled. "I have some friends overseas that would be willing to give you some off the books training."

"It would make sense to hide the fact that I received some training," Harry mused.

"It would if you were anyone but Harry Potter," Bones corrected. "The public expects you to be good, on the other hand it allows me to keep you from being trained by any of my people."

"Why do you want that?"

"I want you to come back and clean up my department." Bones gave a cool smile. "You'll get a few quick months of training and then come back and root out any death eaters working for me, then we'll start on the rest of the ministry."

"And after that we'll disinfect the country," Harry took a deep breath. "Ok, I'm in . . . what do we do now?"

"Now you take this portkey." Bones gave Harry a worn coin. "Later, we'll talk."

"See you soon."

"Goodbye Mr. Potter," Amelia said as Harry disapeared.

"HARRY NO," Dumbledore yelled as he burst into the room. "Amelia . . . what have you done?"

IIIIIIIIII

Harry appeared knee deep in water. As he tried to move, the mud refused to release its hold on his shoes. "Damn it."

"Indeed," a familiar voice hissed. "It seems that Amelia has come through on her end of the bargain."

"Voldemort?" Harry yelled in shock. "Reducto."

"You're going to have to do better than that Potter," the voice laughed. "CRUCIO."

Harry dodged the spell and submerged himself. Knew I should have learned to breath underwater when I had the chance. Harry lamented. Ah well, no use for it now. Harry hugged the bottom as he made his way to the shore.

"Where are you Potter?" Voldemort's voice screamed. "You can't run from me." Harry crawled up the beach and carefully made his way into the brush. "You can't escape Potter," Voldemort laughed. "I know where you are. Why don't you make things easy for yourself, if you give up now then I promise to make things quick . . . well, quicker then I'd planned anyway." It took Harry nearly two hours to get close enough to be sure of getting a hit.

"Reducto," the boy whispered. The boy watched in shock as the spell connected. "Reducto, reducto, reducto." He chanted. Harry bit his lip to keep himself from screaming in joy. "Looks like you weren't so tough after all Tom," Harry taunted. "Now for that traitor Bones."

"Petrificus totalus." Harry whirled to confront the next attacker and was met by a spell to the chest. "I can work with you," the stranger said. "Made a few mistakes but that's not a big deal. You were quiet, you shot him in the back, you kept shooting, and you didn't give up. Must say that I was especially impressed with the fact that you were planning to give Bones a bit of payback. So tell me kid, what did you do wrong?" Harry just glared up at his captor and tried to growl. "That's right, poor situational awareness. You let me creep up on you and you let yourself celebrate after you thought you had the kill. Get up kid . . . no? Well, when the spell wears off meet me in the building two hundred meters north of here. Think about ways you can improve in the mean time. Later kid."

Harry just growled. You just made my list, Harry thought to himself. You, Bones, and Voldemort.

IIIIIIIIII

After a rather . . . spirited conversation with the Headmaster, Amelia returned to her office to continue the day's events. Stepping through the door, she was more then a bit surprised to find a disheveled figure sitting in her chair with his feet propped up on her desk.

"May I help you?" She asked with her best fake smile.

"Petrificus totalus," the figure replied. "You hired me to clean out your department," Harry said to the immobile woman. "I might as well start at the top." Harry forced the woman's jaws open and pored a small mesure of truth potion down her throat. "Are you now or have you ever been a death eater?"

"No," Bones replied dully.

"Good enough for me," Harry said as he administered the counter agent.

"H . . . how?"

"Did I manage to get back so fast?" Harry asked. "The Canadians convinced the American government that this was important and that time was a factor. I can't say more then that."

"I understand." Amelia coughed. "Suppose I should swear you in then?"

"Always good to keep things official," Harry agreed. "Swear me in as a Special Inspector attached to your office. It'll give me a bit more freedom."

"But . . . right," Hold up your right hand. "Do you swear to clean up my department and not become a dark lord unless you resign first?"

"Uh . . . yeah, I guess."

"Good." Bones opened her desk and began throwing things. "Badge, equipment, etc. Get to work."

"I want at least two Aurors assigned to me," Harry said. "They'll make things easier anyway."

"Who do you want?"

"Shackelbolt and Tonks," Harry answered immediately. "Dose them and get them to my office."

"Office?"

"Interrogation room, whatever you want to call it." Harry said with a wave.

"Two doors down on the right," Bones agreed. "It's not very large."

"Fine," Harry agreed. Harry went to his new windowless office and spent the next few minutes cleaning it and transfiguring himself a desk.

"Uh, sir?" A voice called through his door.

"What is it?" Harry barked.

"Madame Bones ordered me to bring these two to you," the voice replied.

"Bout time," Harry growled. Harry opened the door and barely managed to conceal his surprise at the sight of his two drugged out friends. "Tonks, Shack are either of you or have either of you ever been death eaters?"

"No," the two Aurors droned.

"Are you planning to become death eaters?"

"No."

"Give them the antidote and have them come back here," Harry told the random ministry flunky.

"Yes sir," the flunky replied the the rapidly closing door.

IIIIIIIIII

"What's the big idea giving us Verataserum?" Tonks yelled as she barged into Harry's office.

"Stebbins," Harry ignored the angry Auror. "I need you two to bring him to me."

"You haven't answered my question . . . Harry?" Tonks said in shock as she finally recognised her friend. "What are you doing here?"

"We can talk about that later," Harry said coldly. "Right now I need you to bring Stebbins."

"Yes sir," Shacklebolt agreed. "Come on Tonks."

"But . . ."

"Save it for later," Kingsley said quickly. It took a few minutes for the Aurors to bring back their colleague.

"Good afternoon . . . Stebbins," Harry didn't smile at the large man. "Have a seat."

"What's this all about then?" The old auror looked around nervously.

"Drink what's in the glass," Harry didn't bother to look up from his notes.

"I have my rights," Stebbins protested.

"If you don't drink it you will be fired and detained for questioning," Harry looked up. "If you do drink it you will be out of here in two minutes."

"Alright then," Stebbins downed the liquid.

"Are you a death eater?" Harry leaned forward.

"Yes," Stebbins nodded.

"Good, that's all I need . . . give him the counter agent."

"But why not ask him questions about death eater plans or other identities?" Tonks protested.

"That's not my job," Harry yawned. "Just give him the counter agent."

"Fine," Tonks pried open the man's mouth and gave him another potion. "But I still think."

Stebbins blinked a couple times before he realised that he still had his wand. Drawing it slowly, he focused on the Potter kid . . . the dark lord would grant him a great reward for the boy's death. "Die Mud blood," Stebbins brought his wand up.

"Harry," Tonks screamed as she franticly grabbed for her wand fearing that she would be too late.

In a flash, Harry's wand appeared in his hand. The first cutting curse took Stebbins across his wand hand, destroying the man's wand and removing several fingers. Harry's second curse took the man across the face, destroying one eye and half the man's nose.

"He's had enough lad," Shacklebolt sprang forward. "Harry stop, if you do anymore you'll become a murder."

"I suppose," Harry pocked his wand. "Bring in the next one." The afternoon quickly became routine, Harry would question a person. If they were innocent, they would be released. But if they were a death eater, they frequently ended up going to the morgue.

IIIIIIIIII

"Arthur, I need you to come with me."

Arthur looked up from his papers. "Andy? What can I do for you?"

"I need you to come with me Arthur," Andy replied. "Dirty Harry wants to talk to you."

"Dirty Harry?"

"The Director's Bloody Hand," Andy said. "Her personal assassin."

"What would someone like that want with me?" Arthur asked in horror.

"Arthur," Andy ignored his friend's question. "We've been friends how long?"

"Nearly thirty years," Arthur replied. "Andy?"

"Arthur, I don't think you're a death eater." Andy began. "But if you are, don't pull your wand."

"Wha?"

"Just don't pull your wand," Andy repeated. "It's what he wants."

"Andy I don't understand."

"Just don't pull your wand," Andy whispered one last time. "See you soon Arthur." Arthur looked up to find that his friend had led him to a nondescript with several Aurors milling around in front of it.

"You're next Arthur," Kingsley said dully.

"Kingsley?" Arthur asked in shock, "what happened to you?"

"I've seen more death in two hours then I have in my entire career," Kingsley replied. "You can go in now."

Arthur nervously made his way through the crowd and through the door. "Harry?"

"Hey Mr. Weasley," Harry said cheerfully. "How is everyone?"

"They're doing good Harry," Arthur replied. "Do you know why we've been called here?"

"Just take a sip from the glass and I'll ask you one question," Harry ignored the older man's question. "If the answer is no then you're free to go and maybe we can talk later."

"Fine Harry," Arthur agreed. Arthur took a sip and felt his mind turn to mush.

"Are you now or have you ever been a death eater," Harry asked.

"No," Arthur replied.

"Great," Harry said with a smile. "Give him the antidote."

"Harry what's . . ." Arthur froze when he finally managed to make eye contact with the young boy. Those cold merciless eyes didn't belong to Harry Potter. How was he going to break it to Molly.

AN: Something that has been on my Hard Drive for a long time. I've spent the last few days sick and working so I havent' been doing what I'd have liked to be doing. Got a job interview in a few hours on the phone so I thought I'd do a little writing to relax.

"He may be a rabid dog," Bones gave a cold smile. "But he's my attack dog."